#cause i'm in love with that weirdo
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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I need like a lore keeper for malevolent lore cause all you guys out here making hcs and I'm just confused
like I know what's happening but do I? I'm just here for the ride
#I'm kinda dumb#but that's okay#i love it anyways#i just wanted to be that person who knows all the things about the little weirdos#i remember crying on the train cause of jarthur lol scary times#malevolent#jarthur
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So I've been playing Stardew Valley for a while, and I've found myself going into the fandom every now and then. And I'm seeing a trend. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is absolutely in love with Harvey. And I have no problem with that. I completely understand. He's a sweetheart. But I find it kind of funny cause he's one of the characters that I barely talk to. I've never really had much of an interest in him, so it's strange to see so many people just absolutely obsessed with him. But y'know what, good for you guys. Kiss that doctor!
#just kinda wanted to say this cause it's been in my head for a while now#I like Harvey but he's not a character I usually seek out to talk to#on the other hand I fell head over heels for Abigail#but I've noticed that she's not nearly as popular as a love interest#guess I'm just a weirdo when it comes to this game#stardew valley#sdv harvey#harvey#ramblings
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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okay maybe i haven't been Around Here for long enough to run into drama or folks being genuinely nasty at each other... but how come that this little fandom of an extremely unhealthy toxic incest game somehow is a lot more wholesome and pleasant than those of less "problematic" media
#sorry i'm just.#feeling the love of the community in this Hot Topic tonight#like yeah sure we're all weirdos and probably a little fucked up (i know i am) but at least no one's pretending they're somehow#on a moral high ground#if that makes sense#just some thoughts i'm having while hanging around tumblr right now#not trying to throw shade at any fandom in particular either tbh#don't have to cause we've all been on the internet long enough to know a few i'm sure
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uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well
#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING#but like#if i just stop talking to my friends#then what's the point#do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends?#it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like#and i DO like them#i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow.#i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want#it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving#they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them#but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay.#but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up.#i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay.#and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore#it's too painful#i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly#i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car#but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers.#and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people#why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone#why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out#why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together#i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy#because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail.#i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom#so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is#smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me#and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever#and i hurt them anyway
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CURSE MY FUCKING SHITARSE INTERNET I JUST WANT TO PLAY SOME FUCKING TEKKEN GAAAAHHHHHHHH
REINA IS SO FUCKING SICK AND I CAN'T PLAY HER AGAINST REAL PPL I'M STUCK FIGHTING THE STUPID AI FUCK
#i have some christmas money lying around so i guess i'm just gonna have to buy an ethernet cable#my setup (if you wanna call it that) is really not conducive to getting wired up at all#but fuck man there's no way i'm gonna just not play this fucking game it's way too fucking sick#well at least i had plenty of time to play the story lol which for the first like 80% of it's runtime it's like hey this is fun#like it's not super boring & there are actually some really cool moments sprinkled in here & there#then there's the second-to-last jin/kaz fight which was kinda what i expected the finale to be#like ok they've got their big crazy final forms & they're gonna have their big over-the-top anime fight & that's all fine i guess#but then they have one last normal hand-to-hand fight#and speaking as a long-time hardcore tekken fan that last fight is one of the best most joyful experiences i've ever had with a video game#like i've always felt that jin's transition from tekken 3 to tekken 4 was such a cool melding of story with gameplay#like in story at the end of t3 he's betrayed by heihachi so in t4 he forcibly unlearns the martial art heihachi taught him#and this is reflected in gameplay by his moveset being completely different so them coming back around to that in t8#and reinforcing the whole theme of jin accepting his past by LITERALLY GIVING YOU HIS TEKKEN 3 MOVESET IN THE FIGHT AGAINST KAZUYA#WHILE A REMIX OF HIS TEKKEN 3 THEME PLAYS???? GOD WHAT A FUCKING SEQUENCE!!! CHEF'S KISS MWAH MWAH MWAH#and then just the lovely little moments of fanservice. obvious stuff like kaz wavedashing or he & jin doing the namco logo thing 1 last tim#but then obscure stuff like jins t3 df1 glitch & kazuyas weirdo t4 re-stun combos?? like how many ppl are even gonna know about that shit??#they hella did not have to do that but they did & it makes me so so so happy#so yea the t8 story is like 80% a fun entertaining little romp & 20% the hypest shit i've ever ever ever seen#and also reina is the best new character namco have made for tekken since steve in t4#it's funny cause in the whole leadup to t8 i was having a little trouble figuring out who i was gonna main#cause in t7 i spent most of my time bouncing around basically the whole cast before finally settling on julia near the end#obv no julia in t8 so i had to pick someone else & no one in t8 was really jumping out at me#lots of super cool characters that i'd already played quite a lot of but not really anyone that's like ok yea that's my fucking guy#lots of sick af potential secondaries but no main basically#then they released the reina trailer & i was like ok yea that's my fucking guy#sick design sick stage sick AS FUCK music & a bunch of mishima staples to go along with it???#she's got an electric? hellsweep? wavedash? flash punch combo? stonehead?#plus some heihachi specific staples? demon breath? heaven's gate? iron hand? fucking HUNTING HAWK??? then yea that's MY FUCKING GUY#so yea reina fucking rules & i just wanna play her against real ppl please for the love of fuck#OH ONE MORE THING THEY DID ANOTHER GREAT JOB WITH THE MUSIC. AT LEAST 3 NEW TRACKS ADDED TO THE TEKKEN PANTHEON OF ALL-TIME CLASSICS
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post about fatphobia: fat people are systematically treated like shit and this extends deep into many aspects of life including but not limited to the medical field, school, fashion, etc.
the comments: well MaYbE if You CaReD AboUt BeinG FuckAbLe AnD HaTeD YouRseLF, you'd STARVE and bOdY BUILD!! fAT pEOPlE aREN't oPPRESSED!! You'Re OppRessIng ME by Enjoying Being Fat aNd Healthy. [insert rant about obesity here that is 90% lies] [insert follow up rant about being oppressed for being skinny]
"wuh buh skinny shaming!" "skinny people are medically neglected too!" like... y'all are ignoring the fact that *a majority* of medical neglect and things of that nature towards skinny people is in majority because of fatphobia, [the rest due to other factors such as misogyny, racism, transphobia and queerphobia, etc.. making them not take things like ED and ailments causing you to lose weight/be underweight as serious] Like from first hand experience, a lot of people & doctors would literally rather folks be sick and malnourished then be fat. They'd literally rather people's bodies fall apart due to lack of nutrients or be so underweight they can't get out of bed, than have noticeable fat on their bodies.
but yeah no let's just overtake serious discussions about fatphobia and/or posts uplifting and celebrating fat people and make it about skinny people //sarcasm
#like fatphobia is so fucking insidious#like the hatred and so called “”“”“health concerns”“”“ treat folks as if even a microscopic amount of fat is the same as being obese#but also like!!! who's fucking business is it if someone is obese even!!! not fucking yours#like that's between them and maybe their doctors and loved ones if they want it to be#y'all love to pretend like you care but only when it's directly affecting you or makes you look good#just say you hate fat people and shut the fuck up forever actually#like if you're gonna be a fatphobic bigot just eat dirt and shut the fuck up FOREVER#if it seems like i'm overstepping anywhere talking about this as someone who's been skinny 90% of their life.. please let me know#i made my own post after seeing quite a few cause i didn't wanna speak over anyone or make the convo about skinny people#like there's enough weirdos who make unwarranted comments#idk maybe i'm just frustrated because now that i'm a healthy weight people are making a lot of weird comments about me “”getting fat“”#hashimotos is a bitch my weight has never been consistent#but the only time i've actually been fat i was a kid and people were fucking horrific to me and maybe i'm still bitter over that and#bitter over seeing my fat friends have to deal with so much fatphobia that i can't do much to help with
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The cast DIDNT know about hemipenes???
#Dimension 20#0 judgement just I'm so surprised none of em like? Discovered that? Maybe it's just cause I fuckin love snakes or smthn#OR fanfiction weirdos#Anyway im 90% sure that snakes also have hemiclitori
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this is a huge contributor to the "shortened fandom life cycle" rut we've found ourselves encountering more frequently over the past few years. a show appears and disappears from the group consciousness so quickly it's hard to keep track. it's also a problem for our understanding of society and each other.
media has become fad-based. it's a disaster for overall general comprehension/the humanities because nobody talks about their shows over the coffee machine anymore. which means they're way less exposed to alternative perspectives of the same scenes. there's less opportunity to understand a variety of fascinating and diverse human experiences.
and yeah, it feels sad and somewhat purposeful. we engage more heavily with social media - but only to argue or hype/beg for upcoming seasons before a new shiny thing grabs our attention and we leave. only engaging with the media but never pausing long enough to get to know each other.
(this is not an "all members of fandom" thing by any means, but i've noticed the pattern growing more prevalent as well-established fandoms like Star Wars, Star Trek, and GOT are hit by quick waves of engagement that quickly dry up again between active seasons)
you know one of the worst impacts of this whole streaming media enshittification era is that normal people never seem to talk about TV shows anymore. like in 2012 you couldn't go a week at my office without someone starting Game of Thrones discourse over their coffee break. in the 2000s people were always talking about their American Idol faves. when I was a kid in the 90s you had to be allowed to stay up late on Thursdays to watch Friends because everyone in 7th grade was talking about it the next morning.
but now? the most watched show of 2023 was Ted Lasso, a show that existed for three years before I even found out Ted Lasso was the name of a show and not just a guy. I still have no fucking idea what it's about. is Lasso a surname or an occupation? is Ted a cowboy? who the fuck knows. people who have Netflix, I guess? but not people who have Disney+, who probably all watched WandaVision but only talked about it on the internet.
I have a friend who's the biggest Star Trek fan I've ever met but I can't talk Lower Decks with her because she doesn't have whatever the fuck streaming service it's on and she doesn't pirate things for some reason.
our engagement with media used to be a casual part of the day-to-day social fabric and it's just like...not anymore.
#fandom#fandom history#fandom engagement#i'm feeling things cause i just watched strange aeons dashcon video#i love fandom so much#been here for 15 years - over half my total life#since the livejournal days#and i wouldn't give it up for the world#but watching it change into a mainstream place has felt odd. we've always been obsessive little weirdos and mainstream fans#just engage differently#it's very different
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Everyone's against cringe culture and shit like that, but pretty much everyone seems to have an arbitrary line they draw in the sand
I'm not talking concrete lines where like you have some quantifiable metric for it. You think I don't have lines? Of course I do, there's stuff that's blatantly stuff that causes direct harm to people, though at that point it's not about someone being weird, it's about someone doing actual bona fide harm
But that's the thing, a lot of people it's just they'll be like "no, we shouldn't make fun of people... but this person's being weird"
And it's like... you can say anyone's being weird. If that's where we draw the line then literally there's no reason for people not to make fun of you for innocent but slightly weird shit, and we're right back where we started
"Yeah, but this person's being weird", yeah, not shit, I think they're weird too but like... that's not the point, that's irrelevant. The point is that you can't just shift the rules. If it's wrong to shit on some people for being weird, it's wrong to shit on any people for being weird. You need to produce some quantifiable bad they're doing like say... going in to strangers in boxes to say stuff that makes them uncomfortable, now we've got a clear reason why what they're doing isn't ok
Though to be clear here, they're still not bad for being weird, they're bad for their other actions
Like... I don't want to give an actual examples, cause it honestly doesn't matter, but do you think I don't browse the internet and find all kinds of stuff where I think "could you fucking not"?
...but then I move on cause it's honestly not worth my fucking time. Either there's an actionable offense that needs reporting or I can just move on (or a need to change things so certain destructive or dangerous behaviors can be reported, though that requires being able to say why this needs to be a thing in concrete terms)
Just... I don't know... drives me nuts how people, including people I like, will talk a big game about cringe culture needing to die, but then do the exact same shit
"But you don't get it, this time they we're being too weird, it was creepy", yeah, but they weren't actually hurting anyone, and guess what? There's someone out there who'd be happy to use that excuse to shit on you
So there it is
#spent far too long with people shitting on stuff I like; fuck; happens to this day randomly#can't fucking get away with it; twists stuff I love in to being a sore point for me that I recoil if people mention#but you know something? fucking stopped making fun of people who like Twilight after that started happening#might still laugh at the book itself cause fun if there isn't some bad writing there#but honestly even that isn't worth it most of the time#but like the fans... unless they're harassing the cast for the movies or something... whatever#have fun with it even I don't like it#it's either actionable harm or you need to not be a dick to people#not even cause like... 'everyone has their own story or something'#nah; they could legit just be a nasty toxic little weirdo#it's just... being an awful person with fucked up thoughts in your head shouldn't be a crime; I'm serious about that too#so long as you don't do anything actionable and concretely wrong; you should be left to it#and it's not for their sake either#it's because I bet I could come up with a reason to twist any one of you in to being 'an awful person with fucked up thoughts in your head'#I can smear; and lie; and twist; or just kind of be an asshole thing thinks it's wrong that... you like 80s pop; whatever#doesn't have to be something actually wrong; anything can be twisted if the only bar for it is being weird#behavior and actions trump everything else#if you can't show me bad behavior or a direct link to intent to cause harm in the future#then sorry but I think you should just leave it#...then again maybe I'm just a monstrously awful person myself; you don't know what might be running through my head#why the fuck should you listen to me?#think for yourself; but that's why I think what I think on this
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passed 3000 pages of homestuck. we're doing this. we're making this happen
#been reading it pretty slowly i think#i'm way behind so i don't know where to find good dave centric fanworks if anyone has recs i'd love to see em-#also again i'm only at page 3000smth like. jade basically just entered the medium that's where i'm at. so i feel like i shouldn't go looking#for stuff just yet cause i probably won't get a lot of it#unfortunately (i knew this going in) dave is my favourite character by a lot. followed by the other 3 kids#then. i like aradia.#terezi and vriska are pretty enjoyable too. karkat sometimes.#he's a total freak but i kind of enjoy equius or whatever his name is a lot. he's just. i know he's a weirdo but it's kind of fun#i liked tavros way more before i actually read homestuck. sad#i have a mod that gets rid of typing quirks (while keeping case changes for everyone except gamzee cause that shit was getting tiring)#and even with the mod. feferi is so hard to read. girl what are you Doing.#oh! i also like sollux i haven't seen him in ten billion years though#anyway. i'm so so late to the party
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Unironically would love to explore this concept in a more serious tone as well. Karlach having met or at least seen Durge around Gortash's home. They were always odd and off-putting, but so was most of Gortash's crowd. Still, their presence was oppressive and she sometimes had to consider them as a threat against him. They could be some noble trying to seize power through him. Or they could be just another bed warmer with mindless intentions. Regardless, they were on her radar. Then of course the Hells happened and after those 10 agonizing years she's finally free, and who does she see first things first? Durge, that same motherfucker who used to haunt the halls of Gortash's manor. Gortash's manor. Karlach doesn't believe them when they claim to not remember the past, convenient amnesia is just a bullshit excuse cowards use but she slowly realizes they're dead serious. Beyond serious, they barely even know who they are. She won't be finding Gortash through them, but maybe she could turn his former adversary into his enemy, give that bastard an extra kick in the ass with some betrayal of the inner kind. However Durge begins to get their memories back, each one more vile than the last. They chose not to tell Karlach about their memories of Gortash, knowing that it may send her into a spiral (justifiably). But each memory spells out a clearer picture as Durge realizes they were not just one of Gortash's dolls. If anything, Durge had some form of power over the man, their mutual obsession fueling a strange and twisted affair. They were neither of each others lapdogs, they were equals. Eventually Karlach finds out and she ends up as the one feeling betrayed. Gortash's "nearest and dearest" was RIGHT THERE the whole time, they were someone she even considered a friend. She regrets giving them the benefit of the doubt, she should've known better than to trust any who aligned, formerly or currently, with that bastard. Maybe they didn't remember who they were at first, but eventually their former self would return.
And then that leaves it up to Durge, if they wish to betray their former relationship with Gortash for the sake of their new ally. Or if they want to finish what they started and let Karlach be just another casualty in their quest to greatness. If they pick Karlach it won't be easy, she will be broken from her shit life and it will take more than a little convincing that they're on her side. Undoubtably she will have Wyll to support her, but there's only so much a shoulder to cry on can offer, especially given what she's been through. Durge won't be forgiven, at least not quickly, but if they put in the time, put in the effort, they could forge something new. Perhaps forgiveness is unattainable, but allyship is possible. But if they pick Gortash I feel it would be oh so simple. He was practically waiting for them to return, every since he got the news his beloved slayer was still alive. Who better to top of their grand scheme than the mastermind themself, Gortash's own lover (if they even dared to call each other such... and perhaps, with all this power in their midst, they now could). They're already at the climax of their story, why back away now? Why keep the people waiting? This is their grand finale.
Listen. I don't know exactly how long Durge and Gortash knew each other, but wouldn't it have been absolutely hilarious. if upon meeting karlach the first time just
Wyll: ah I have finally found you, advocatus diaboli-
Karlach: yeah okay give me a minute before you kill me, YOURE THAT GUY THAT FUCKED ENVER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE
durge, like 3 days old, freshly discovering the whole "sex" thing again: I did what. With who
#bg3#nm#mw#full of thoughts#specifically in relation to karlach knowing durge#I wish there were more lines about it in act 3 cause I feel it wouldve been an angst worthy concept to explore#plus it would be another punishment for durge (listen I believe they need more consequences for their actions like why is wyll the-#only one who'll side against them if they accept bhaal? he makes sense duh but what about a good sided gale? a good sided shadowheart?)#what about karlach who just learned this mf was the reason they were in this mess to begin with#I feel like them siding with you should've depended heavily on your relationship with them and their personal quests#gale is just accepting one false relationship with a god for another#karlach knows youre just another murderous maniac like zariel so why let you destroy the home she just finally got back to?#I know it's a whole “I can fix them” kinda thing which I do enjoy but I wish there was just more to it#so full of thoughts#I would've loved for some confrontation between durge and karlach#wrote way more than I intended I'm so sorry op you just wanted to be silly but I'm fucking crazy over bg3 right now#my autism is out of control I can think of nothing else#AUUGHHHG IM LOSING MY MIND AUUUGHHHHHGHGHHGHGHHG#durge meeting a young karlach and even asking where gortash's “little pet” went#karlach just thinking of durge as some strange weirdo that gortash keeps around for some reason#she doesn't wanna think of all the odd long lasting touches gortash and durge would have#nor the time she heard a thump from gortash's office and ran up in a hurry to make sure he was safe only to spot the pair practically-#backed into the war table
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i will be normal i will be normal
#slowly watching the one piece live action. cause every episode is so so long#but#they just met usopp. and i know. i know sanji is coming. the sanji event horizon i can see it#I HEARD that they fixed a couple of his problems with being a weirdo#and i mean. i'll decide for myself#but also AUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH i'm gonna lose my shit and it'll be so embarrassing. like. sanji sucks and he is my#fucking number 1 favourite op character. by a lot.#i miss himmmm i miss him i wanna see him.#i haven't seen if they do the zeff backstory or not but if they do i'll go crazy. with the rock. Aaugh
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TLDR: Francesca Bridgerton is Autistic. Fight me.
Okay so I did not go into Season 3 of Bridgerton expecting to have any feelings about Francesca Bridgerton. We have seen her only in glimpses in the show and I have not read the books, so I knew basically nothing about her before binging the first four episodes.
But guys. GUYS. I will die for this autistic queen.
Okay, so starting with first impressions. We know that on her big day, Francesca went out of her way to avoid her nosy, loud family by having a very early, quiet breakfast by herself and then calming down via playing the piano (clearly a special interest of hers).
In her first balls, we see Francesca light up any time she talks about music (clearly her current or forever special interest) but as soon as men try to take it to a flirting place she IMMEDIATELY shuts down. It's clear that even as she states very matter-of-factly that she plans to marry this season, she also is baffled and uncomfortable any time someone tries to actually, ya know, court her.
At one of her first shindigs, she got attention and then went up to her brother and (while making almost no eye contact) told him (rather than asked him) that she needed a sec.
She then sat by herself in the side of the ballroom.
Later on, she left a ball in search of quiet and solitude to fix her sensory overload, so she went outside this time. (A thing that we know from pervious seasons is a HUGE no-no, particularly unchaperoned. But she was very respectfully near the door so maybe that's fine?) The point is that she cares very much about staying respectable so she can get this marriage thing over with and get people to stop perceiving her, yet she risks some scandal by going outside just so she can be somewhere quiet alone.
Enter: this absolute (also autistic) Prince Charming.
He says hello (so she knows he's not like trying to sneak up on her in the dark like a creep) and then just stands there. 10/10, no notes, best way to flirt I have ever seen in my life.
Seriously just look at this. I'm in love. Never before has there been a greater sign of love at first sight than in this "standing politely five feet apart in total silence in the middle of a ball and enjoying each other's company."
I need to go watch these first four episodes about a hundred more times, but I THINK this might be the first sincere smile we see from Francesca??!? I at least got the impression immediately that this is the first time she's felt genuinely comfortable and happy while not entirely alone this season.
Like, these nerds did not even exchange names. They barely exchanged a word. Yet you can see them falling head over heels in love right there in that moment. I don't even LIKE love at first sight tropes and they have my whole heart. They are the only exception.
Then, of course, you have this second absolutely iconic Scene of Silence where the entire Bridgerton family stares in neurotypical confusion a these two amazing weirdos. The way these two do not know each other but they DO know each other. The way they are both so happy and so comfortable but also still playing the whole society game the way they were told they had to?? I just don't have words right now.
LOOK AT HER SMILE, GUYSSSSSSSS.
Look how happy this tiny, silent moment is making her. How she understands immediately what he's doing and is absolutely delighted to participate too even knowing her entire family is hardcore judging them from not that far away.
And then you get this smug little look from him and it's like you can see his autistic ass thinking, "Yes. I calculated correctly. This was the correct romance option. Gold star to me." (Okay, maybe that's just how my brain works but shhhhh)
Which, of course, brings us to this absolutely hilariously awkward ND attempt at flirting. We start off with some fairly normal "whoops, I'm flustered cause you make me nervous" sort of moments, but notice how little eye contact she makes. How she only looks in his eyes very briefly and it seems like she almost has to remind herself to do so when she's doing the "polite" answers (OR later when she's genuinely interested in a topic).
So as soon as Francesca is like "oh shit, I ruined it. I forgot how to neurotypical. It's over" then she loses patience with the practiced social niceties.
I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a GIF and I should already be asleep so I'm not going to go learn how to make one BUT I needed to look up exactly what happens next cause it's basically the most autistic thing I've ever seen.
WHICH IS that in response to the second awkward silence after Francesca shares all of this, John's response is, "That is helpful. If you'll excuse me."
Then dude bro just WALKS AWAY WITHOUT ANOTHER WORD.
Like it would be awkward anyway but now Francesca thinks she misread a social cue so she's feeling sad, and meanwhile this absolute king is over here on a romantic mission no one asked him to do because he is that set on showing her he's listening and cares.
The man shows up at the ball and as soon as he had a paper we were all screaming "he wrote her a song!!!"
Again, notice the eye contact (or lack thereof). I think with period dramas and women, it's easy to just go "oh she's just shy" or "she's just being demure like she's supposed to" but like NO. This girl does not want to meet anyone's eyes.
Until she does. Because in moments where she's talking about music or enjoying quiet, it's worth it to purposefully meet his eyes and see how he's feeling too. To make sure he can see she's happy.
ANYWAY, it was so much better than him writing a song for her.
SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Because he didn't just give her any ol' music. He sought out the music they'd specifically heard in the street, and he took her exact specifications on what was "wrong" with the music, and he FIXED IT. He then put the whole thing on sheet music and handed her a copy with no further explanation than this.
Our autistic lass was so excited she basically sprinted out of that ball so she could find a piano. (Which, the fact that she does this rather than try to stay and flirt/dance with the man who just gave her this incredible gift ALSO says a lot, just saying. Daphne could never.)
So our girl finds a piano and GUYS. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS.
I'm pretty sure this woman would accept a proposal right this second. Maybe make one herself. She is so head over heels in love with this man that it's absurd. We have watched her mask in these first four episodes, but the last two where she's interacting with John are the first times she seems genuinely happy and like the real her is shining through.
Like, does she enjoy her family? Sure. But it's obvious (and she even tells us) that she finds them overwhelming and generally to be A Lot. But these scenes? This gesture?
You can just get how seen she feels. How weird and wild and amazing it is to her that this man can see who she actually is and wants to join her there instead of making her play some part of the perfect Bridgerton who likes to be the center of attention.
(And even here - the EYE CONTACT. She glances at people when she's talking to them, but the way she looks at the sheet music is so much more intense and intimate and personal than anytime she's looking at the average person in the show. She still even in places she's most comfortable, such as sitting at the piano, makes very little eye contact and only at very specific moments.)
Anyway I'm going to sleep now but I'm sure I'll add more thoughts as they come to me. Feel free to add your own case for why Francesca is autistic and/or otherwise neurodivergent. I want to hear allllllll the thoughts.
#francesca bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton s3#john stirling#bridgerton netflix#bridgerton season three#Francesca is Autistic#Autism#Autistic
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