#cause i feel like i'm getting dinged points for not following rules i was never fucking told about

[supercantaloupe]

getting real tired of turning in hw for counterpoint class where i have to compose something that sounds nice and follows proper voice leading, only to be told that what i wrote is wrong and bad because of some arbitrary rule that was never mentioned until now.

[enchantedtomeethyun]

Cruel Summer: Part Two

Warnings: language

Pairing : Chan x reader

Walking down the hall of the hotel I wished he would chase me. I imagined him to confess right before I walked out. He would say " you're so much more to me." Then I would look at him and he would look at me and see me and not my body. I quickly made it to the elevator looking at my hand holding the room key.

"Fuck..." I muttered. Standing in the elevator my mind replayed the last moment. His face was facing downwards so I couldn't see how he felt. But he knew how I felt. I made it so obvious in that moment. He wouldn't want anything to do with me now. Not after that. Get tangled up with someone who had feelings for him when he didn't feel the same. He won't call me I thought. He won't text me and this will end here. A not so happy ending to my night. What started out with stolen stares and secret meetings turned into a dramatic exit of a side hoe. I'm ridiculous. I really thought he would just chase me and confess. I'm more delusional than I thought.

The elevator dings and I step out looking around the lobby one last time. I recall the moments we shared in different places. Our first night when he was getting us the room he looked so nervous it was endearing. The concierge picked up on what was happening and figured we were a young couple finally able to break away from our parents for a night commenting "Have a night away you too and I wish you a happy future." To which Chan blushed and bowed. Moments like that made me feel like we were a couple and it felt so right.

Walking to my car I remember the first time he kissed me. It was raining and I was looking for my umbrella in the back seat. He laughed behind me already holding it and keeping us dry.

"Chan! Why didn't you tell me I've been rummaging for four minutes now!" I said annoyed but smiling.

"I figured you would figure out since you're not wet from the rain." He laughed pulling me in.

"You just wanted to look at my butt I bet!" I said playfully slapping his arm.

"You caught me!" He laughed holding my face in his free hand. "You caught me.." he mumbled looking in my eyes longingly as he moved toward my face kissing me.

A single tear ran down my face knowing this is the last time I'll see him. That's the thing about illicit affairs.. they show their truth one single time and then they die. A billion little times.

I step into my car and sigh defeated. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. If I stayed and kept my mouth shut everything would be fine right now. But no I had to make a scene and now I can't even think of him without hating myself. I check my phone for any sign of a second chance with Chan. The screen was blank with no notifications. I guess I never mattered to him.

I hear a tapping on my window which scared me a bit and I roll it down to see a figure standing at my door.

"Hey ma'am there's someone who's been following you to your car just to let you know. I've been watching on the security cameras he took the elevator after you and followed you out here. He's sitting over there by the vending machines." A man in a security uniform tells me.

I look over to the vending machine to see a dark figure leaning on it but looking away.

"Oh ok thank you sir." I said as he walked back into the hotel through the security door.

How peculiar I thought. Maybe it was him.. I felt a sudden jolt and got out of my car leaving my things inside. I locked it and approached the figure slowly. My feet on the gravel making my foot steps known the figure turns around.

"Christopher?" I asked waiting for him to smile at me and walk towards me. But the man stood still. Maybe he didn't hear me. I approached him closer asking again.

"Christopher is that you? I didn't think you would come out here and" my sentence stopped once I realized it was not him. The Man standing there held a camera and wore a grimace. My head beat was in my throat at this point and I froze.

"So you know Bangchan huh?" The man said his face appeared but he was wearing a face mask so I couldn't make out his full face.

"Uhh no no I was just looking for someone else my brother ran away.." I panicked backing away.

"That's not what these picture tell me. I've been watching you two for a few months now. I know everything." The man said confidently.

"Why didn't you sell the pictures then?" I asked quietly.

"Cause I knew I could sell them better with a story. How's the headline "stray kids bangchan's secret affair ends sour". He said laughing.

"Or how about "exclusive interview with leader of stray kids Fuck doll" he laughed again.

I didn't know what to say. I simply just began to cry. Not only did I lose Chan. But I ruined his career.

The camera flashed at me and all I could do was stand there and cry. The entrance opened and the manager came into to see what was the commotion. Shooing away the camera man he walked me to my car and asked me questions. But to be honest I don't remember anything.

I woke up the next morning in bed. My tear stained cheeks told me it was not a dream and it all clearly happened. I reached for my phone to check the time.

1:58 am

I look around in the dark and smell a familiar scent. Sitting up quickly I waited a second for my eyes to adjust to the night. How did I end up here? All I remember is the flashes of the camera and stumbling to my car with the help of the hotel manager but am I home? I hear something stir behind me and I then piece together everything. I'm still with Chan?

My shocked breath and jerk of my body awoke Chan who seemed awake almost immediately.

"Chris..." is all I could say. He breathed out deeply and sat up.

"Is it ok if I turn on the light?" He asks me and I nod assuming his eyes are adjusted like mine.

He rolls over the turn on the table lamp and rolls back over looking at me with sorrow in his eyes.

"I know you don't want to talk but you don't have to.." he began.

"All I ask is you listen.." he said taking a deep breath and looking at me.

We sat in front of each other. Our legs crossed and our eyes looking into eachothers. The mood felt serious and I wasn't sure about how to feel. It never felt this way with him.

"I want to apologize first.. I never meant for it to end up this way. I know you might think badly of me I can tell by your body language but I'm unsure why to be honest." I felt my blood begin to heat. He doesn't know why?

"I feel energized with you. You're an escape from my job. You make me feel good and I feel like I have a lot of fun with you." He explained looking in my eyes. He only sees me as fun? I'm like an arcade for a group of kids after finals is over. A reward. The taste of an ice cream cone after a long run. Tears begin the well up in my eyes which cut off Chan's umms.

"Actually listen I don't think I want to do this no I can't Chan." I said stuttering. His reflexes made him reach for my hand which i sharply pulled away hurt.

"How dare you..." I said louder than his calm talking voice he was using before. This caught him by surprise as he leaned back. Eyes wide open he looks like he's about to speak.

I cut him off " How dare you do this to me. You've made me a mess. I can't stop thinking of you. You call me baby and you don't think of the consequences. You kiss me with so much passion you make me think it's real for a minute. You hold my hand when we cross the street and squeeze it when I get nervous in crowds. Then you say I'm your fun away from work." I raised my voice. Getting up from the bed.

"Have you ever thought about how I feel?" I cried. I walked towards him. He was now staring at me eyes widened. His breathing was heavy but not as labored as mine as a weep between my rage.

"I'm a toy to you right? You play with me then I break. You'll find a new one yeah..." I was hysterical. Dropping to my knees with a thud I sobbed uncontrollably. Chan stood up immediately. You would of thought I was stabbed judging by his reaction as he rushed over to me. It felt that way though. I felt as if my heart had a knife tearing through it every aching moment with him in that room.

"I need to to breathe... come on please just take a breath" he said to me as he tried to help me stand but gave up and just held my shaking body. I pushed him away from me and stood up using the bed to support myself. He composed himself and stood up aswell.

I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you! Ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard!" Wiping my tears I look to the window as a head police sirens approaching. I sniffled and shuffled toward to window to see what was happening. He walked over to the window and stood silently with me watching.

The man who was holding the camera to me earlier that night was being arrested and yelled at by the hotel manager.

I glance over at Chan.

He looks up grinning like a devil.

"It's new. The shape of your body. But it's blue. The feeling I got." He said looking at me. I turned towards him confused.

"It's been a cruel summer..." he continued.

"It's cool.. we didn't make any rules it was an unbreakable heaven.." I laughed sadly.

"I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you. " he said still looking at me. Reaching for my hands I let him hold them.

"I love you..." he finally said smiling.

"That's the best thing I've ever heard." I said back as he pulled me into him. Kissing me with as much passion and vigor I had wished.

[airis-paris14]

Miss Me Not 2

Summary: you graduate with your masters soon, and our boyfriend is plotting how to get you to Wakanda.

Warning: fluff!, T’Challa fluff!, T’Challa x black! OC.

A/N: This it for this story. Hope you enjoy! The next chapter of Take a Break should be up soon!

“Alisha Renee Davidson, step away from my dress!” you yelled over your shoulder as your friend inched her way to the Nordstrom suit bag. “Queenie, you’ve got to let me see at some point,” she sighed. “It’s been a week! Neither of us has ever purchased anything from Nordstrom that wasn’t on clearance. I wanna see.” She whined.

“You’ll see the dress when I put it on,” you explained cleaning the eyeshadow fallout from under your eyes. “It’s not that spectacular anyway,” you shrugged. Alisha turned and raised a perfectly threaded eyebrow, “Sis, have you ever owned a $400 dress before?” You bit your lip to contain your smile. You shook your head in response to her question. “Have you ever so much as touched a $400 dress?” she added moving to sit on the desk beside you. You shook your head no. “Then it is a big fucking deal!” the woman exclaimed. You burst into laughter and stood up from the desk. “I’m going to get changed,” you laughed grabbing the bag and walking into the bathroom. You unzipped the suit bag and ran your hands over the dress once more. You quickly shimmied into the white ensemble. Poking your head out of the bathroom, you called out to Alisha, “Hey, can you zip this for me?” you gingerly stepped out from behind the door as she broke into a grin. “I mean- damn- I gotta give loverboy credit. He sho’ know how to pick ‘em.” she smiled while pulling the zipper up.

“Me or the dress,” you smiled, turning to fiddle with the dress in the mirror. ”You. The dress is a reflection of the girl in the mirror. Have some confidence Queenie. You snagged a whole prince .” Your eyes filled with tears and you hugged your best friend. ”I'm gonna miss you Li.” she hugged you back, tears welling in her eyes too. ”No crying yet, ” she smiled dabbing at tears, ”We didn't spend your dress money on makeup for nothing.”

”You still gonna pay half of that, ” you laughed. ”Of course. Catch me when them graduation checks roll in, ” she pointed. You grabbed the mortarboard off your bed and handed them to Alisha to pin on over your twist out. Once she was done you switched places and you pinned hers onto her new wig. You both applied your final touches before standing side by side in the mirror. ” I still can't believe you convinced me to do this, ” you laughed staring at the top of your mortarboards.

”It’s cute and all the girls are doing it together.” Alisha smiled ”we better go. The girls want to meet up beforehand.” You double checked your outfit once more, then walked across the quiet campus to the athlete's entrance to the stadium. A scream erupted as you both turned the corner. ”OKAY LADIES NOW LET'S GET IN FORMATION!” your whole friend group began to sing as you walked towards each other. ”PROVE TO ME YOU GOT SOME COORDINATION!”

Everyone broke into your freshman dorm steps. When the time came everyone ran to the center, but you and Alisha were ready. ”Monroe girls best in the world! He parted the sea when he made me!” you high fived once the laughter subsided. ”Y'all know y'all ain't right, ” Zaria laughed pulling you into a hug. ”How?” You smiled, ” don't be mad cause Monroe girls do it best.”

”Y'all stupid, ” D’Aja laughed pulling you in for a hug. Texra and Cha’relle were next to hug you. ”Where’s Zulema,Charlie, and Nora?” you asked quickly scanning the group. Zulema and Nora had to go escort the speaker, and Charlie has never been early a day in her life.” Texra smiled, as teachers began escorting students into line. “I guess I’ll see y’all when the deed is done.” Cha’relle smiled as they begin calling for her school. “You make it sound like we are gonna kill someone,” Texra joked. “Who’s to say I haven’t already? I hope y’all negroes keep secrets,” she called over her shoulder before disappearing in line. “She’s joking right.” You asked as the rest of the group begin slipping on their gowns. You pulled your gown over your shoulders as the others shrugged. “Who knows? Jason could be laying in a ditch somewhere for all we know,” Texra joked as her school was called. “I’ll see y'all afterward.” she hugged you both once more. D’Aja followed suit and soon, you parted with Alisha as well. You fell into place with the rest of your classmates as you began the procession into the stadium. The roar of the crowd was the first thing to hit your ears as you processed behind the undergrads.

Your phone dinged in your hand as you recorded the scene all around you. “Isn’t that loverboy’s family. 9:00 o’clock. You glanced in the direction indicated by Alisha and spotted Ramonda Shuri and Okoye seated in the crowd. You broke out into a smile as you noticed your parents sitting with them. You opened the friend group chat in your phone and sent out a quick message. “Y’all. I’m gonna cry.” the replies were instantaneous as you all took your various seats located in close proximity to each other. “What happened?” “Why” “No. sis, this mascara is too expensive.” “Why didn’t you buy waterproof?” “Does it really matter?” “Yes.” “Yes.” “Yes.” “T’Challa’s family is here.” “Aww.baby girl.” “Bitchhh, they love you.” “Oop, a wedding on the way.”

You put your phone away as the graduation got underway. Soon enough, the moment you had all been waiting for had arrived. The graduate students were called to the stage one by one to receive their diplomas. Twenty minutes later, Elise Carter began her walk across the stage. Your heartbeat rapidly in your chest as you wiped your palms once more on the front of your gown. You adjusted your cords and stole once more. ”Iza Chattman, ” the announcer called out, “Your breath caught in your throat as you began your procession across the stage. Master of Arts in African and African American Studies,” You saw your friends on their feet cheering along with your family. You stood in the center of the stage awaiting your hood. Your heard more people erupt in screams. Your friends screamed from the crowd, along with undergrad students. Confusion settled onto your face as people began to point behind you. You turned slowly to find T’Challa dressed in his royal regalia, kneeling before you on the floor.

Tears welled in your eyes as realization sunk in. you began to nod yes vigorously. T’Challa laughed before being handed a microphone. “Iza. Ever since my eyes landed on you six years ago. On this very campus. I have never been able to get you out of my head. You are in everything I do, and everything I encounter. Every time I see something or try something new. My first thought is always of you. Whether you would like it? How you would feel? And lately, I find myself making life decisions with you in mind. That’s when I realized. I never saw any part of the rest of forever without you. When I’m with you I feel normal. I feel loved and cared for. I feel like I can be myself with you. You have been my sunshine and my confidant for years now, and I want to make it official. I know the future for us is uncertain, and scary. And your life is going to change in so many different ways. But even as I stand here now, I am in awe of you and all you’ve done. And I’m more than confident that you can and will rule by my side. With intelligence, poise, wisdom, and grace. That is why I kneel here before you to ask,” The prince briefly dropped your hand to pull a black box out of his pocket. “If you Iza Marie Chattman. Will marry me, T’Challa Udaku Prince of Wakanda.” he flipped open the black box and a large diamond ring unveiled itself. Tears poured openly out of your eyes, “Yes, a million times yes!” you smiled through your tears. He stood and slipped the ring on your finger. The crowd erupted in cheers as you pulled him into a kiss. Phones everywhere flashed as you both stood gazing at each other on the stage.

Once the president calmed everyone down, she offered her congratulations in return and after one final kiss, you headed off the stage. You ventured back to your seat with frequent congratulations and hugs. Once all the master's degrees were conferred, the graduate students were led out before the undergraduate students began their walks. As soon as you exited the stadium, your friends bum rushed you from all sides. “Bitchhhh, who was right?” Texra yelled once she caught up with you in the crowd. You pulled her in for a hug as your other friends began to scream once they spotted you in the crowd. “Izaaa!!!!! Girl, you snagged him. You snagged a mutherfucking prince sis! When’s the wedding?” Zulema sang as she hugged you.

“Girl, she just got engaged a like 45 minutes ago,” Charlie smiled hugging you too. “But,” Alisha interrupted, “The real question is. Who is the maid of honor?” Alisha pointed. “Now. Y'all all know it’s me,” Zulema pointed. “Now I know you a bold-faced lie,” Texra interjected as the other began to argue.

“Damn, can't I just enjoy being engaged first?” you shook your head as Alisha moved to stand beside you. ”It's me right, ”Alisha asked. ”You already know, ” you smirked. ”Now I remember sending my baby off to college to become a historian. Not a queen, ” a deep voice rumbled. ”Daddy, ” you smiled at your father. He wrapped you in a warm hug. ”Princess, ”you corrected. ”the queen is standing behind you.”

Ramonda smiled as you walked over to give her a hug. ” I am so proud of you. I am sorry T’Chaka could not be here as well, ” she smiled. ”you all being here is more than I could have hoped for.” you replied as you set your eyes on Shuri. ”and my little sister made time to come see me as well, ” you teased as Shuri opened her arms for a hug. ”well someone had to make sure the boy actually proposed.” she laughed. ”I would not have missed it for the world” she added quietly.

”General, ” you smiled at the woman. ”we are all so proud of you Sister Iza, ” she smiled. ”Thank you.” you're turned to face your mom. ”Mama.” you cried as you rushed into her arms. ”since when does your mama come last on the list of people you greet?” you squeezed her tighter and laughed into her shoulder. ”I'm so proud of you busy bee, you've grown into an amazing young woman.” you wiped a tear from under her eye.

”Iza!” Alisha yelled, ”come one so we can take this picture!” she waved you over. ”Shuri, can you take this photo?” she took your phone, ” gotcha, ” she smiled. You walked over to your friends, unzipping your gown along the way. ”wait who's the last person?” you asked. Your eyes scanning over the eight people present. ”oh I invited Issa to be in the picture.” Zulema explained. ”Issa?” Alisha questioned. ”as in our speaker Issa Rae?” Charlie exclaimed.

”Zulema, ” a new voice called, you all looked up to find Issa standing next to T’Challa. ”hey Issa, ” Zulema smiled. ”This is Iza, Charlie, D’Aja, Nora, Cha’relle, Zaria, Texra, and Alisha.” the black woman introduced. ”it's so nice to meet you all, ” Issa smiled. ”I hope you don't mind me intruding on your picture.” you smiled, ”No, it's no problem. Thank you for agreeing.”

Everyone lined up in a row and Shuri took a couple of pictures.

”ok ok, just one question, ” Nora interrupted ”how many if y'all new that lover boy was a prince?” You, Alisha, and Issa, all raised your hands. ”when were y'all gonna enlighten the rest of us?” Nora huffed. ”to be fair, he is all over the news all the time, ” Alisha shrugged. You smuggled into T'challa's side. ” I mean, I had my first legal drinks at a bar, with a Prince, ” like is no one else a little in awe?” Nora exclaimed.

”Sis, Iza is about to marry him! That is awe!” Nora interjected. ” I just wanna know if I can still call you loverboy, ” Charlie asked. ” Of course, ” T'Challa smiled. ”please, I am the same T’Challa you all went to college with.” the prince explained. ”Except that you're about to marry Queenie and if you hurt her we’ll kill you.” All of your friends nodded with Charlie. “The Dora will be glad to assist you,” Okoye winked.

“Can I marry him before we discuss plans to kill him?” You teased. The large group began walking towards their cars. T’Challa squeezed yours in his. “So. Mrs. T’Challa Udaku is moving to Wakanda?” The prince teased. You stopped in your tracks. The prince was roughly jerked back. “T’Challa, look me in my eyes and tell me you didn’t do this just to get me to move to Wakanda.” Your voice eased out slowly. The prince’s eyes widened in horror. The implications of his words sinking in. Ramonda quickly dragged Shuri off and everyone else scattered to their respective cars. Charlie eying T’Challa the whole way.

“No, oh entle no! I’ve been planning this since you first asked me to attend your graduation. I have known I’ve wanted to marry you. I’ve been ready for a while now, but I wanted it to be special,” he quickly explained. You visibly relaxed,” oh,” you replied. You both began walking back to the car. “So what changed eh?” The prince question as he walked to open your car door. “What do you mean?”

“Well you know marrying me means you are moving to Wakanda right?” He paused. “Yes.” You laughed. The prince turned to face you. “A few weeks ago, you were very unsure about moving to Wakanda. Now you want to marry me.”

“T’Challa, do you not want me to marry you?” You turned to face the prince in the interior of his car. “Yes, Yes I do! But I just want to know your train of thought.” You sighed turning to T’Challa, “T’Challa. What made you know, despite all my uncertainty, that I would say yes?” The prince stopped to think. “One, I prayed to Bast that I got lucky,” he cracked a grin. He reached for your hand, “and security. You like security. Knowing what’s going to happen.”

“There’s your answer your highness. I always knew we were in this thing forever. But with you as a public figure, an engagement makes that forever known to everyone around us. To the world. That gives me the societal security I needed to make this move. With you. As long as you are a constant in my life, I can’t anything else the world throws at us. Cause, it will always be me and you vs. the world. And that’s enough for me.” The prince smiled before pulling you in for a soft kiss. He pulled the seatbelt over his chest before pulling smoothly out of the parking lot. As you drove past your dorm he smiled. “How about tomorrow, once we get everything out of your dorm. We take a piggyback ride around campus. I’ve never had a piggyback ride before.”

“Who says that you’ll be getting one, shouldn’t the husband carry his wife around?” You teased. “I think the homeowner should be carried around.” T’Challa rebutted. “So I should be carrying your father around?” You teased. “You know what, never mind.” The prince frowned.

T’Challa made a turn as comfortable silence enveloped the Lexus. “So what is our first order of business in Wakanda?” You questioned. “Choosing a Royal House to live in. So I can wake up your beautiful face each morning. Sunlight reflecting off that beautiful brown skin. Watching your face as I take you over and over and over….”

T’Challa!” You exclaimed as he pulled into the restaurant. “I love you,” You followed him out of the car. “I love you too entle,” he grinned. Kissing the large diamond on your finger.

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