#cause I'm not interested in being more paletable I just want to be more comfortable
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the fact that the genetic lottery rolled sensory processing issues severe enough that just regular chilling hanging out existing in my physical human body can be so overwhelming I am too exhausted to do basic tasks is a real fuckin snake eyes situation there is a lot about autism that I truly love and am genuinely grateful for but ripping all the labels off the sensory knobs and givin em a random spin is not fucking one of them
#my number one problem is that I don't know what most people experience yknow#like I have nothing to compare my experiences to sometimes#this is probably why people have therapists huh someone to check your math#shit that actually does sound appealing it's just so much work to find someone whose math I can trust#cause I'm not interested in being more paletable I just want to be more comfortable#I simply need more data ykwim#man I shoulda stuck with psychology I could be doing some dope studies#instead I have to worry about capitalism and rent and buying groceries#which is really cutting into my human behavior data collection time#you'd think they could be done simultaneously but unfortunately I cannot participate and observe
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