#cats do more harm than human children as well because they can't be as much aware of how they're harming other things

[nexus-nebulae]

yeah sure cats have a hunting instinct but they sure as shit do NOT have a What Is Food instinct. i do not think a fully wild cat would commit the blunder of eating a whole frog

[batshitferalejsimp]

My Particular EJ Headcanons!!

(I don't have a particular last name or nothing decided, like I've seen some of the cool folk coming up with)

Minors DNI

My eyeless jack is big, VERY BIG, like brick shithouse big, he's 6ft8, and very large and very muscular. I wouldn't say he's shredded, though. He's got like an off-season body builder or power lifter build, with like a healthy layer of fat over it. He's very gifted in the chest department✨️

In my mind, he was a Russian transfer student, studying over in America for his medical degree, feeling a bit isolated due to the lack of peers and friends, and that's when the cult snatched him up.

His voice is usually even and calm, but when he's pissed off, it gets almost layered... but not quite, and it's just off.

He has a bit of an accent (think Nikto from COD), and couldn't care less about hiding it.

He doesn't really care too much for being called EJ or Eyeless Jack. He prefers just being called Jack, but he won't really correct anyone on it because he doesn't care enough.

Over the years, he's set up some contacts through slenderman and has a somewhat successful career in the organ market. He also has a credit card and the like for when he needs to buy new supplies and whatever else he would need. He's probably one of the more put-together creeps, not that it says much about him.

He moves so quietly that it's actually scary, like you turn around and suddenly he's behind you, just watching.

He does a lot of watching and staring and has a habit of tilting his head when confused or trying to investigate things.

He can eat things other than kidneys or just human flesh. He just NEEDS human flesh fairly regularly and will start talking/mumbling to himself, getting aggressive and violent if he goes too long without human flesh, until he snaps and attacks the nearest human, no matter who they are. It usually takes 2-3 days for symptoms to start showing, and he keeps himself well fed, so it isn't usually an issue.

He sometimes hums to himself while working.

Believe it or not, he does sometimes go out in public, especially during and since the pandemic, wearing a mask and sunglasses with a hoodie, isn't suspicious if he pays, acts polite and doesn't act an ass. He can't go out and about as easily as jeff can, though.

He's very clean and sanitary, and oftentimes, if it can be helped, he doesn't kill his victims. He keeps his space clean.

If he needs to get organs, he usually targets men or criminals. He's not fond of harming women and children(he will if he MUST, but he won't be happy about it. )

His morality and emotions are somewhat dulled and disconnected from him.

He can see, and he can see quite well. However, he can't look around without turning his head. He can't side eye as much as he would like to with some of the shit that goes on in the mansion.

He can cook, and he's decent at it, but he usually doesn't because he can eat his food raw and the rest of the people in the mansion are assholes.

He's often getting stuck in fights with Jeff due to Jeff wanting a fight and knowing just how to make EJ fight him. EJ doesn't enjoy this but wins 60-70% of the time.

He enjoys going on walks or reading in his free time, watching a good amount of documentaries, and trying to stay on top of the lastest medical science.

He drinks and smokes, and he can get drunk, but cigarettes do not affect his lungs at all. Which disappointed him when he found out...

He has a strong sense of smell, and when he smells something he doesn't like, his face scrunches up visibly like a cat. It happens a lot around the other creeps in the mansion, particularly Toby.

He sometimes gets like mini zoomies, but he usually just goes out for a run and comes back when he's done.

He sleeps on his stomach or his back depending on how safe he feels, but he never really sleeps on his side unless there's someone else in the bed.

He eats A LOT, often times raw meat(think cow, deer, pig or chicke), he's large and does a lot of moving around and exercise, so he definitely EATS

[thevoidstaredback]

CW: Mentions/Implications of Transphobia, Religion, Aphobia

I do end up telling at everyone, btw. I'm a bit pissed off near the end.

I'm a bit pissed off still...

I think the main reason I haven't come out to my parents as AroAce is because they're both very conservative Christans (LDS). They grew up that way, and they raised me that way. While they're open minded about a lot of things, they're close minded about a lot of things, too.

Both are very family oriented, my mother moreso than my father. They both want me and my sisters to get married and have kids and I don't know how to break it to them that I don't want that.

I've tried telling them without coming out. "The best I can offer are cats." or "I'm not interested in relationships." or the one I've been saying since I was in my single digits "I'm gonna be the crazy cat lady. I can't do that if I have other people I have to take care of."

(Honestly, that last one shoulda been my first clue. How the hell did I not know until senior year of hs?)

Both parents have brushed me off or ignored me completely. On several occasions. My aunts have all done the same. Some friends have done the same. All with varying excuses that I've already mentioned here before (and on TilTok).

I think the worst part is that they're both a bit transphobic, my father moreso than my mother. Mom is a bit more open minded (at least that I've noticed). She's a bit confused, but does her best to understand. Dad is a lot less so. He's actively watching things that are transphobic in nature or in passing, though I think he's realized that shit makes me uncomfortable, so he doesn't listen to it when I'm around. Only when he thinks I can't hear. (Doesn't work very well. I've got crazy good hearing and he watches with his speakers on full blast)

I'm not trans, but I have friends who are. My thought process is, if they can't accept that people are sometimes born in the wrong body, how will they ever accept someone stepping way back from what they were raised on?

Okay, I know those two things probably to connect in the way that I'm trying to convey, but I- I don't know how to explain it?

How do I convince people that I don't fall into the norms they were raised in when they can't even accept the norms that have been since the time of gods?

Does that make better sense?

The Queer Community has been around since humans started to walk the Earth. How does one explain this to people without things going to absolute shit?

I think I've gotten a bit off topic...

How does one tell their parents (who have been dreaming about their children having children to the point of "cursing" us with triplets) that getting married or having kids is not in their plans?

How does one get past the years of (what I can only label some kind of manipulation attempts) convincing that having kids and getting married will be the best thing to ever happen?

As I'm sure my fellow Aspecs can relate or attest to, it's extremely hard to tell a heteronormative society that you don't quite fall in with them. It's equally as hard to tell s homonormative group that you don't quite fit in with them, either.

On all sides, we're being pushed and pulled to fall in love and have families and have romances and have sex and all of these things! I think the reason we (at least from what little I've seen) feel so lonely is because we have little to no support. People on all sides are telling us we're wrong. People who are supposed to be on our team are telling us we're wrong.

Do you know how much that hurts?

Straight friends, gay friends, trans friends, queer friends, even fellow Aspecs have all told me some version of "You just haven't met your perfect person yet."

Fuck you.

Fuck whoever has ever said that in their life.

Fuck whoever has said that to someone who trusted them.

That line, and any line like it, is harmful.

I'm sorry you can't look past your rose coloured glasses to see the world. I'm sorry you can't pull your head outta your partner's(s) ass long enough to realize that not everyone is like you.

Yeah, I'm yelling at all of you. No discrimination here.

....

I really did go off topic...

I guess I really needed all that off my chest...

Regardless, I don't take any of it back.

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko EP3. Replay Part 1

This scene seems like a vague retelling of Kuwadorian Beatrice's life - I say vague because the details seem a little off? Kinzo would almost certainly not care if Beatrice broke a vase. Honestly, she could probably burn down the mansion and he would laugh it off, so I think it's a retelling colored by either Beatrice/Yasu's or Tohya's perspective of Kinzo.

Of course, it goes without saying that what happened in this case was Kumasawa agreeing with K Beatrice to pretend a cat broke the vase instead. And also you are being shown what magic IS - multiple people agreeing to a single story.

It's kind of funny to think about how Kumasawa being a 'minor' character who thinks all of this is a bit game she's a huge part of why Yasu developed her magical thinking in the first place.

It's kind of interesting to think about how all the adults (er uh, except maybe Rosa, she generally treats Maria worse when there is no one to see.) are at their worst during the conferences we see in the game... it makes sense, it's a place for all their childhood traumas flare up.

I think it's kind of interesting how Eva in this scene seems to genuinely believe misogyny is bad and should be fought against - as opposed to older Eva who is happy to throw endless misogyny towards Natsuhi and even Jessica... I think she had to suppress a lot of her beliefs and adopt more regressive ones when she realized she would never personally be head and the only way she could ever even remotely fulfill her dreams was by weaponizing that same misogyny against Jessica with George.

For how much the narration and meta-kinzo (possibly real Kinzo? I don't know) talked about how his family are vultures for wanting his inheritance it's not like Kinzo himself treated his children as anything more than money-making machines - he got what he put into the relationship.

Genji is a horrible enabler even if he's being 'kind' about it.

This line is really interesting to me here, how he defends Eva by lying for her. I think it helps show that the problem isn't that Krauss is just Too Evil and ruined Eva's life - He was dealing with an abusive father and an awful environment too.

The purpose of a lot of ch3 is to ease you into the Umineko mystery and feed you a lot of answers - such as literally seeing the birth of a witch.

This is pretty heartbreaking to read to me, it happens a lot in real life.... someone trying to be the perfect woman, the perfect gay person, etc. In order to try and win the approval of people that will never accept you... and the crushing realization that it will never work and that they consider your very existence disgusting.

What other character is constantly showing up in order to say the mean things that another character just can't bring herself to say?

It's no wonder that Lamda was the one who acknowledged EVA-Beatrice. Her personal belief system is already pretty close to Lambda's.

Ah well, I guess Eva is more or less repeating what I said earlier about throwing away her beliefs with George, haha.

She's more self-aware about how she's just harming Jessica like she was harmed than I realized, it's kind of funny though how Jessica seems to have this vitriol go over her head mostly. I wouldn't be surprised if Jessica considers it at least somewhat and then decides that nah, she must be overthinking what Eva meant.

Again he's such an enabler.... in the same way love can be used to look past someone's flaws and help you understand them love can also make you ignore flaws and prevent growth.

Eva and George's relationship can't begin to heal until Eva grapples with what she's doing with her life. I can't really tolerate what Hideyoshi is doing here...

Interesting to see how the episode that is trying to humanize Eva is also the one that paints her as a murderer, probably should also get you thinking to do that with Beatrice as well!

Hahaha.... poor Yasu. She's even trying to get him to remember directly here and still nothing... and to be honest considering this is written by Tohya I am pretty sure this is very accurate to reality.

It must be really painful for Yasu to hear this is something Battler wants to forget...

Sigh.... Battler... he's being really dismissive of Yasu's feelings here without knowing - but I guess you can say it's an improvement of episode 1 and 2 where he seemed to barely remember Shannon?

I think he's playing up his Persona a bit here but still, seems he learned a lot of bad habits from Rudolf until Yasu was a kind of wake up call, at least in the meta.

The games laying it really thick, huh.

They are dropping the "heart" stuff here too, this scene is really laying the foundation for Answers Arc!

The way they drop Higurashi concepts here is pretty cruel, making you think they will start fixing all their issues in future loops and find the perfect fragment... but Umineko is just not that kind of work.

Think this is the first time Beatrice herself starts calling Maria an apprentice too!

You are one of the first victims here!

The fact Ronove, Yasu's character stand-in for Genji, has one of his traits be "gay" is really funny ngl... guess she knew Genji was in love with Kinzo.

Beatrice is obviously talking about Yasu's childhood here, a pretty big hint these are imaginary friends to someone! And when you whittle down who has been on the island for a long time and would be lonely, well, there's not a lot of people to consider, are there?

I think this is also a pretty obvious stand-in for Beatrice as the author and Battler as the reader - we have accepted that the story has more to it than the 100% classic mystery we saw in EP1, and so characters like these aren't out of place anymore.

Eva knows Kinzo is dead but she isn't going to let an opportunity to become Head go. Also Jesus Christ, Eva. Eva's clearly leading the discussion here and the narrative/Eva is framing Rosa as dumb and slow for not realizing this is her chance at headship... pretty sure she's aware but she isn't happy about the possibility of any of her siblings taking 100% of the inheritance.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

022 of 2024

What was your first kiss like?

Nah. It just made me realise I was not into kissing.

What was the most impactful thing to happen to you?

Probably going abroad to work.

when was the first time you self harmed, and why? (in any way not just cutting)

I was 13 I think, I don't remember well. I was suffering much enough from sexual abuse.

Who was someone you felt unsafe with but had to be around in your life?

The person who abused me. It makes me nauseous when I think he's married and has children on his own now.

When was the first time you felt sexualized?

Probably at the same time as when I was abused. But anyway, one of the worst cases was two years ago, when someone was clearly trying to groom and fetishize me. Absolutely disgusting.

Do you believe in true love? Do you know anyone you think has experienced it or have you?

Yeah, true love does exist in my opinion. But I believe love has many forms. Platonic, romantic and what else.

Do you ever worry about your own health?

All the damn time lol. At least my anxiety is much reduced.

Have you ever really disliked a family member?

Well. I love my family, they're family after all. But while I love some of them, I can't say I like them. I rather avoid them.

Do you like who you are right now?

I don't overthink it. I feel better about myself than 10 years ago.

Is life worth living?

It is. Not always easy, nobody said life would be easy. But there are some wonderful moments that make life worth living.

Are your values more Conservative or Liberal?

I think I'm the closest to anarchist, honestly.

how do you feel about religion?

I'm agnostic. I don't deny the existence of God, but I'm not the one to confirm it. I'm always searching. For others, I don't care what you believe in, as long as you don't force your beliefs on others.

Do pets make better soul-friends than other humans?

They do. They don't judge. They don't care how you look like. They love you no matter what.

if you could go back in time and change something what would it be?

I would take Victoria to the vet sooner. Maybe she wouldn't die :(

Have you ever been cheated on?

Yeah, by my first ex. He's done it so many times and he wasn't even hiding it.

Do you ever secretly judge people but act like you don't?

No. I never judge people because I know words can hurt more than knives.

If you had a twin, what do you think your relationship would be like?

I think we would be inseparable.

Have you ever been discriminated because of your race/nationality?

Yup, I experienced xenophobia while working in Poland. Thankfully it was only one person. The rest of workers was very much okay.

What's the last thing that made you cry?

The death of my beloved cat Victoria. I think I will never truly get over losing her.

[ooc-themis-cattails]

I don't know what kind of school bullying experiences kids go through nowadays, but I was just talking with my late-Gen-X buddies about how the other kids continually threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot us, and the adults laughed, and shamed us for taking it seriously.

Not that I did take the ongoing threats seriously, after the adults laughed. I knew the bullies were just trying to get a rise out of me, but they switched to threatening to shoot my cats, which they likely could have done without much consequence, and that's more unsettling. They talked all the time about shooting and torturing cats because they knew it upset me. What was actually bothering me most-- since I didn't take them seriously anymore, even the bullies laughed at me themselves for believing them-- was the fake tortured cat yowls they would constantly scream in my ear. You don't have to believe them to want that to stop.

And the dead cats they put in my (other) friend's car at the end of high school makes me think they were only half joking after all. That was the year before the first ever school shooting, and nobody got in trouble for it.

Finding out that my other friend who graduated in the late 90s went through daily gun threats as well, and her teachers/parents also shrugged it off... I wonder how widespread it was. Both she and I were cis girls who were extra small for our age, and we got picked on almost exclusively by boys who were, despite being in our class, much bigger. In first grade I was picked on by the eighth grade boys on the bus. "Children can't hurt anyone," was the thought. You were ALWAYS safe so long as you were with other children, they thought; only adults can harm you. They let other kids do things to you, all day long, that an adult would be arrested for.

But the boys weren't picking on someone their own size. They were bored, they were lawless, and they wanted easy targets. The boys were beating on the smallest girls, because we were easy prey. They laughed at us and mocked us when we tried to fight back. I have bitten, kicked, hit, scratched, punched, and violently flailed at more human beings than most people go to jail for harming, all by the age of 8. The bullies thought it was hilarious and mocked how I looked and sounded trying desperately to fight them off. Then they hurt me again. Some of it was small and annoying injury to stay out of trouble, like poking me with a pencil or screaming in my ear, but even that is hard to put up with when there's a crowd of kids taking turns; a mob doesn't get bored, especially a captive mob. Often it continued during class (because the 8th graders gave the 1st graders ideas, and they too far outsized me; this went on basically until I graduated from high school.)

I wonder if any of that has even changed. Silly adults, expecting boys to actually fight other boys their own size. They don't have honour, they're 9 years old. They're probably still torturing the little girls when no one is looking. But they probably don't do it by threatening gun violence anymore. They've probably got some new awful threat that sounds unrealistic until one day they do it.

My parents believed that girls are only bullied by other girls, they told me to ignore and not care about whatever the bullies do, and they signed me up for self-esteem boosting programs. No. This is not always how it goes. No amount of self-esteem I possessed could stop the boys from hurting me. I had plenty; it didn't make any difference at all because it was the wrong thing. Nobody listened to what was really going on, and now they feel hurt if I say they made mistakes in parenting, because there's "nothing they can do about it" and they can't face that at all. I don't expect them to do anything about it, I want them to see the truth, and urge the rest of the world to do better. Don't shrug your kids off and fail them because you think you know all about the world, but you're missing what's ACTUALLY going on.

If you have kids, now or ever, please listen to the details. Don't assume you know better than they do, that you know all about how these things go. They don't all go the same way. Take your kids seriously now instead of defending your ignorance later. My friend and I were not shot, but then elsewhere in the US, some kids were. And they're not here to tell about it, so listen to us instead. Kids are not harmless.

[catscraftsandcommentary]

So Geralt the White Wolf, Guardian of the North, has been invited to some royal christening or other, and he's totally been monopolizing the baby heir for the last twenty minutes, humming and smiling and ignoring everyone else.

Everyone lets him get away with it because, well, he's the WHITE WOLF, who are you to tell him what to do, he rules or is allied with three-quarters of the continent and his daughter is heir to the rest. (Also it's ridiculously cute, shh.)

Eventually Milena walks up and touches his arm. "Geralt, the little prince is getting hungry. Here, hand him back and this nice duchess will let you hold her twins."

A very young duchess, looking rather tired, approaches with two tiny babies. "White Wolf," she murmurs, bobbing a curtsey. "They're my first, just a month old."

Geralt lets Milena spirit the baby prince back to his mother (and wetnurse), more than happy to be distracted by twins. "I'm honored. They're lovely." He settles into a chair, one baby in each arm, and nuzzles each tiny head, inhaling the scent of healthy, happy infant.

He hums happily and starts singing quietly. "Little one, beloved child, remember how much I love you..."

On the other side of the ballroom, Jaskier leans against Milena. "You horrible tease. I don't know why I like you."

Smiling quietly, she asks "is it because I gave him babies, he's singing a song you wrote, you can't immediately drag him off to ravish, or all the women in the room are thinking the same thing?"

"Stop taking lessons from Yennifer."

* * *

Vesemir has become a school patron for several institutions across the Wolflands, and he checks in on them as often as he can. He'll take whichever witchers want to go with him - often other trainers or the odd Crane, especially if the school focuses on building (architecture or STEM.)

If he takes a crane to a science fair, he does make them move any practical demonstrations outside. Preferably an open field far from any buildings.

But please imagine with me Papa Vesemir kneeling down, listening very seriously to some tiny child explaining their, idk, color wheel or finger painting or leaf stamp art (and he does, of course, patiently identify each plant when asked).

(Meanwhile a pair of Manticores and Cranes are off in a field, demonstrating bottle rockets to a group of very excited little minions. Leocadie drilled them very thoroughly on what ingredients are human child safe before they left, it'll be fine...probably.)

And then they lead them on a nature hike, which goes...thrillingly, for the children. The teachers are a bit dubious, especially when the Cats encourage the littlest girl to scramble up a boulder by herself, or Vesemir suggests foraging for their lunch.

They all come home covered in sticky, brightly colored handprints, splotches of paint, and strings of lumpy clay beads made into jewelry. And none of the witchers could be happier.

* * *

Lambert and Aiden are out doing a random patrol (they still do patrols! sometimes) with maybe Roland (it's the future, so he's an Adult Witcher now, okay?), and Mariusz (a Crane witcher I have just now made up, because I would be a crane and they don't get enough love).

They stop at a little castle, and the lord's daughter tugs Lambert aside to ask "my betrothed plans to go boar hunting with several of his friends tomorrow, but none of them are skilled hunters. I would be extremely grateful if any of you would be willing to make sure that they come to no harm before our wedding."

She pauses a moment before adding, "and if anything embarrassing were to happen to the count's son, and not to my intended, you could name your price."

Lambert grins. It's not a nice expression. "Stuck up braggart?"

"With nothing to base it on, except in his own mind."

Lambert bows over her hand (Aleksander's lessons are paying off) and goes to find Aiden. "Got a job for us, kitty."

When they get back, the entire party is filthy stinking drunk. Also mostly filthy and stinking, minus the groom.

The count's son looks like he fell into every mud puddle in the forest, and got dragged through a briar patch besides. His entire outfit is a loss.

Lambert and Aiden each have a boar slung over their shoulders and are grinning fiercely.

So I had some time to think tonight at work (in between operating heavy machinery, swearing at the materials, and trying to keep the line running, fun times!) And I asked myself, "self, hypothetically, what might @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU look like in another generation or two - once people really get used to witchers being The Good Guys (TM) and helping out?"

And I was like "well, they'd probably get invited to social events - ooh! Who'd like which events best?!? What would that look like?"

Geralt, as we all know, detests anything too formal or Warlord-focused. He enjoys weddings and receptions, but his TRUE favorite is baby christenings. Seriously. Put him in a room with a tiny baby and he's happy as a clam. He'll happily growl away (or weaponize his puppy-dog eyes against) grannies, aunties, and other family members to hold the baby for as long as possible. He's also 90% of the reason that witchers are now rumored to be able to bless babies.

When Mouse and Treyse bring this new rumor to the council, everyone has to just sit. And process for a minute. Because what the ever-loving fuck?!? (Jaskier immediately writes the sweetest lullaby ever, "A Witcher's Blessing", and it is the ONLY song that Geralt ever sings in public, and only ever to babies and small children. Multiple women blame this for their immediate conceptions.)

Jaskier adores weddings and festivals of all types, and if a happy couple includes details of how they met and/or fell in love with their wedding invitation, there's at least a 50% chance that he'll show up to the wedding with a personalized love song, holy shit.

Ciri loves tourneys. Loves watching them, loves displaying in them, loves sneaking into competing in them (omg, heir, NO), loves WINNING them. She's a menace. She has various stealth coats of arms that she rotates between when she's not supposed to be competing, but her favorite is the battle goose. Obviously.

Eskel doesn't like crowds or being the center of attention, which are almost inevitable with public invitations, but he does enjoy being the +1 for his family. Several of his and their interests overlap, and even where they don't, he likes to see them enjoying themselves.

Yennifer becomes well-known as an extremely efficient - albeit terrifying - treaty negotiator. She'll talk to both sides, get a list of their must haves, deal-breakers, would-likes, and don't-wants (as well as - perhaps more importantly - the reason why each of those are on that particular list). Then she draws up a draft and viciously negotiates a compromise. She is genuinely surprised the first time that both sides thank her for her help.

Vesemir, with all his long years of teaching, loves visiting schools and seeing any sort of student performance or sporting event. Kindergarten to university, drama to music to dance recitals to track and field meets to football games to student symposiums to science contests to... He buys out bake sales and funds club field trips and donates several fortunes worth of antique knick knacks to various schools. He's invited as a guest lecturer, a commencement speaker, a competition judge, a referee.

Lambert and Aiden, at some point, discover bachelor's parties, call dibs, and never look back. People learn very quickly not to invite witchers to their stag nights unless they want the entire party to get horrifyingly drunk - but at least Lam and Aiden will make sure that everyone makes it home (or to the wedding) safely. Perhaps not soberly, or sans hangover, but definitely without major injury. (And if the bride asks nicely and the groom and friends weren't total jerks, Lambert can usually be counted on to make a hangover cure. He really is a softie at heart.)

Dragonfly and Serrit get tapped for the odd bachelorette party or ladies' birthday parties. Anything that falls under "I want to be able to drink and party with my friends without worrying about some strange guy hurting one of us." They are extremely protective and have both been drunkenly proposed to several times. (Livi finds this terribly amusing. Gweld just wants to know if he can watch.) Milena and Zofia sometimes go with them.

Milena loves going to wedding showers and baby showers, but outside Kaer Morhen, she has to stay in sight of Lambert or one of his brothers. Lambert's rule. (She got KIDNAPPED, okay? He's allowed to worry!) Usually she'll take Geralt (there might be babies! He's excellent protection!) or Eskel (he's very quiet and has excellent manners, and his signs are impossible to fight) for the more, ah, female-heavy events. If anyone asks, they're her brother-in-law and genuinely like spending time around kids. And very, very married.

[fosermi]

SEMI BACK FROM THE DEAD PEOPLE

That's right! I'm back! And I bring to you CHAPTER 3 OF GUARDIAN MACAQUE AU

WHY?! Well because I couldn't sleep well and it's 5 am fuck my headache I give you content!! Fair warning: Macaque is a soft monkey especially to kids AND YOU CAN PRY THIS HC FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS ABDJFKCMCM

Some days, Biming would leave to sell the rice cultivated in their field to the neighbouring village. An oddity, Hóu realised. Why sell to another village? He didn't understand… After all, there were other houses in their village. 

"Hóu?" Ai's soft voice called for the demon. Oddly enough, it wasn't her usual tone that came through her call. 

Immediately detecting the shift from her usual beat, the black monkey jumped down from his position on the plum tree that grew in the back garden of the couple's home. The tree upon which the monkey would spend most of his free time on whenever he could. "You called, Mrs. Ai?" 

"Oh! Yes, dear…" her voice dripped with worry - fear even. In her arms a red cloak, outstretched as if allowing him to take it. "Could you please accompany Biming to the town today…?" Her eyes glimmering under the morning sun with worry, begged the black monkey to take on her request. 

Hóu, with an immediate nod, complied as he gently took the cloak from Ai's grasp. Hesitantly, the black monkey built up enough courage to ask the kind lady, her worry affecting his own. 

"Mrs. Ai��� is everything alright…?" His hand reached out to Ai’s in an attempt to comfort her as his eyes locked with hers, taking notes of the high level of worry embedded deep within her honey-brown eyes.

Seeing the concern in Hóu's golden eyes, Ai's tense shoulders fell as she let out a shaky breath. "Ling Fa… he warned us that demons moved in close to the rout Biming takes to the other village…" 

Ling Fa… yes…

He was the family's guardian spirit… it was his duty to protect the family, right? Of course he would warn the kind couple.

By late morning, Biming and Hóu had headed out on the road on the small mule-pulled cart with their cargo safely secured. Ling Fa had stayed behind to ensure Ai's safety as he would not have been much help with manual labor. 

Hóu rode on the back of the cart as his mind drifted off to the thoughts of the strange family guardian. They had previously met a couple of times. Ling Fa wasn't a concerning figure, in fact Hóu believed he was incapable of fighting due to his pacifistic tendencies. 

Throughout the journey, Biming and Hóu held up a small lighthearted conversation, a conversation that seemed to have only lasted a couple of minutes was in fact just two hours. 

Soon the duo were at town close to noon, Hóu couldn't believe how lively everything was! Carts and vendors and buyers were everywhere! If he was being honest, Hóu's entire world seemed to start spinning due to the overload of his senses. 

"Welcome to the market, Hóu!" Biming said with a bright smile as he handed Hóu some earplugs. "They might not completely drown out all the new senses but its something at least… if you ever need a breath at all, then tell me and we can go to a more tame part of the town were we can rest for a bit"

Hóu's reply came in the form of a nod. However, even though his senses are over exerting himself, Hóu knew that he had to allow Biming to sell their crops so they could earn the money needed. So, the black monkey decided to sit right behind the cart after putting on the earplugs, mostly hidden from the front view as she observed how Biming bargained and sold his crops. 

Eventually, daylight started diminishing as the sun was starting to head down the horizon, turning the shy a nice shade that reminded the monkey of orange peaches… something about the sunset seems to have upset the demon and he felt a pang of pain in his chest. 

Upon noticing the sadness embedded on the monkey’s face, Biming decided that it was time to head home. "Hóu, let's go home." Came the familiar voice of the young man that got Hóu moving onto the back of the cart, and once again head off back home. "We should be back home just after sunset" Said Biming in an attempt to comfort his companion, which seemed to have worked somewhat. 

The ride back didn't have many complications, it was a smooth ride back with a few conversations every now and again. Once home, Biming and Hóu carried their goods into the home as they announced their return, only to be greeted by the smell of Ai's amazing cooking as they sat down by the table to eat. 

Biming was telling Ai how well Hóu had taken to the city and how well behaved he was. He kept on flattering the black monkey demon which got Hóu to stutter every now and again when he decided to speak up. Soon enough, it was time to head to bed after it was decided that from then on, Hóu would accompany Biming to the market. 

His days spent here in the small farm house by the valley with Ai and Biming went by faster than he expected. And soon, they would have a new addition to their family in the form of a child between the couple. 

The couple at first didn't know how Hóu would react to children, as throughout Ai's pregnancy, he had done his best to avoid her as much as possible without angering her. He however instead spent his time with Biming learning how to trade and sell as well as bargain and buy goods. 

When their daughter was born, the couple found something they never had expected to see. That night they had awoken to the sound of soft cries coming from the adjacent room that Hóu had offered the baby to stay in with him so he could make sure that their daughter was safe from all harm. Surprisingly, Hóu had also swore it as his duty out of the blue one night before she was even born. 

What surprised them however, was what they saw in the room that night. They had found Hóu gently cradling their small daughter in his arms. Biming most of all was surprised at how Hóu could be so delicate with such a small fragile being and yet possess strength strong enough to carry the entire cart filled with supplies. 

Hóu looked over at the couple with worry laced all very his face. "S-sorry… she won't stop crying… she must be hungry!" It surprised Ai how well he knew how to manage a baby and how he could tell what was wrong. She stood there for a moment as she smiled at the panicked monkey before taking her daughter to feed her in the other room, leaving Biming and Hóu together in the room. 

Biming sat down next to Hóu on the bed who seemed a bit anxious. "Is something the matter Hóu?" Came the concerned question from Biming. 

Hóu's tail flicked anxiously like an irritated cat, he lowered his head and talked in barely a whisper "she's just so small Biming… will she really survive?" 

With a comforting hand on Hóu's shoulder, a smile found its way onto Biming's face "with you worrying about her like this… I know she'll be perfectly fine Hóu…" and with that, Ai came back in, carrying their sleeping daughter in her arms. 

Without a second to lose, Hóu was up on his feet to give the bed to the sleeping baby. But instead, Ai gave him the small bundle of joy with a smile. Something within him clicked that night, and for the first time he remembered something from his past. 

A conversation? 

"Hey, [~~~] why so stiff?" 

"Because! They're so small! So defenseless! How can they survive?!" A chuckle rang out throughout what seemed like a cave as the sound echoed. 

"They're children! Of course, they're small! But hey! They seem to like you!" 

"I… I guess they do…" 

"You know… if you're really worried about them so much why not take care of them?" 

"Don't you already do that?" 

"Well, technically, yes? But what I meant was you could watch over the little ones and make sure they're safe?" 

"... alright, I'll do it!" 

Hóu held the small child close to his chest, a stifled sob escaped him as a few tears flowed down his face and onto the blankets that wrapped around the baby. This concerned the couple as they barely see Hóu cry, in fact. This is only the second time they've seen him cry ever since finding him that fateful day. 

Just before they could react, Hóu faced them. Face stained with tears but his eyes held a strong determination. "No matter what, I'll make sure she becomes big and strong. I swear on my life" 

With his sudden declaration, the couple found a sense of peace and comfort. Ever since then, Hóu had appointed himself their daughter's caretaker and would help Ai and Biming with their daughter in whatever way he could. There had been countless times when Ai or Biming would search for their daughter only to find her asleep on Hóu who had her safely asleep on or under his favorite tree in their garden, sometimes asleep himself. 

Such were the peaceful times, the days he wouldn't have to worry about much except for their family's safety. Nothing could happen to them, he used to think. Not until the incident. 

Golden eyes fluttered open as he heard a faint sound of someone calling out to him. "I'm heading off to work dad!! Text you later!!" Followed by a door slamming shut and a soft ringing of a bell. 

With a sigh, the black monkey sat up and combed through his messy black hair before getting up and heading to the bathroom to freshen up. Mi Hóu looked at the mirror and examined himself only to be taken back to see a human face before remembering that his life with Ai, Biming, and their daughter Chu-Hua had ended a couple of hundred years ago. 

He had remembered everything since that time, and his true name is Liu er Mihóu otherwise known as the Six Eared Macaque. And he remembered that at this current time, he has a son. A son that he had to look out for in a world of hidden demons. But here's the catch, he can't let his son know that he himself is a demon even though he already knows about demons. Which is why he uses a human disguise. 

"Another regular day of work I guess…" he mumbled as he heard the ringing of the bell hung at the door indicating that someone had entered their home, or to be more specific, his clinic. Little did he know that this day would be the end of his daily routine of curing demons and teaching at a dojo. 

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

Part 3 - Basic Concepts of Miraculous Ladybug: Transformations, Potions and Power-Up's

Welcome to my analysis of basic concepts in Miraculous. Let's talk about transformations, potions and power-up's. This one is going to be interesting.

Apparently, only child superheroes have a time limit and can use their power only once. And adults can use their powers many times and maintain their transformation.

I don't take Thomas Astruc's Twitter statements seriously, but he said that adults don't have to detransform because they can feed the kwami with their energy. What happens when energy runs out? Does it mean that holder of the miraculous dies and transformation drops? Or does transformation drops when the kwami grows tired enough? However, according to "Silencer", transformation can't be released until the holder says detransformation words or uses their power (applies to children only). Is that why Master Fu doesn't transform these days? Because he is old and doesn't have enough energy for Wayzz.

At the same time, Bunnix/Bunnyx held her transformation for several thousand years in "Timetagger" and she was still alive. Moreover, not only she was still alive, she hasn't aged a day. Alix still looked around 25 even after spending so much time in stone. Her sanity was also still intact. Does that mean that as long as people are transformed they are immortal and can't die of natural causes, can't get sick or be killed? Does the Miraculous pause all inner processes? Do people stop ageing when they are transformed? Does that mean that prolonged transformations essentially slowed down puberty for Marinette and Adrien because every Akuma attack (their transformation during this attack to be precise) acts as a pause for their growth process? Does that mean that transformed heroes don't need food, sleep or oxygen? And Alix doesn't experience any negative side-effects after prolonged transformation. A lot of questions must be answered here.

But apparently, the "adults can use their power many times without detransforming" rule does not apply to Gabriel. In "Heroes' Day" he turns Nathalie into Catalyst who gives Hawkmoth the power to "release as many akumas as he desires". Does that mean that he can't normally do it? On the other hand, in "Queen Banana" he creates another Akuma right after the fight with akumatized Chloe ended.

Do you remember this? In "Origins" we find out that akumatized butterflies can multiply. That's why Ladybug needs to purify them. So, does that mean that Scarlet Moth and Catalyst weren't necessary?

Hawkmoth's plan in "Heroes' Day" was actually very smart. However, it can fall apart when you remember that butterflies can multiply. How does that work? Why do they multiply? Could Gabriel akumatize Nathalie into Catalyst (akumatized object is something not very valuable, like a piece of paper), then break the akumatized object and release the Akuma into the world? Would that turn people only into copies of Catalyst? I wouldn't call this thing a plothole, exactly. I'm just curious because it's an unclear moment. Perhaps you could explain it as the element of a soft magic system with unclear rules. Because the magic system in Miraculous is a mix between the hard and soft system.

Adults without time-limited power have a serious advantage over children. Why does Master Fu give Ladybug and Black Cat to teenagers then? In the beginning, Fu doesn't know that Butterfly holder is an adult. Isn't it safer to give 2 most powerful Miraculouses to adults just in case? If Butterfly Holder is a child then 2 adults with more powerful Miraculous would win much faster. If Butterfly Holder is an adult as well, then the fight is more even.

We know the out-of-universe reason for doing this. There would be no story then. Miraculous holders have to be kids since it's a kids show. But in-universe it doesn't make sense. In "Furious Fu" Su Han even says that children are not allowed to handle the Miraculous at all according to the rules of the Order. Fu knows that children have a time limit. It looks like he deliberately sets them up for failure. Why?

Is that because children are easier to manipulate as they are most likely to trust Fu's judgement no questions asked? This reasoning doesn't look good for Fu, who is supposed to be a wise and kind mentor. Is that because children won't abuse their powers? Find a trustworthy adult then. Give us some kind of in-universe explanation!

If you can't explain it then do something with the time-limit rule. It's an important plot device, which contributes to tension and raises the stakes during fights. So, removing it is unwise. Consider giving adults a time limit as well then.

Or you can create different rules. Maybe Black Cat and Ladybug can't be wielded by adults, unlike other lower-tier Miraculous? Maybe Miraculous and Kwami can choose the wielder in some capacity, and this magical bond can't be changed? Do Kwamis feel a pull towards several people and Guardian then chooses the final holder? If there's no pull whatsoever, then Kwami won't be able to grant powers to this person? How much weight does the decision of a Guardian have?

I actually like this last idea the most. It makes sense and avoids plotholes at the same time preserving the time-limit rule. I spent less than 20 minutes figuring this out.

This way Fu gave Ladybug and Black Cat to children because he didn't have a choice. Plagg and Tikki gave him suggestions but these people didn't pass his tests. Marinette and Adrien are the last ones and they do pass. It adds some tension and showcases desperation on Master Fu's part. Magical pull doesn't always mean that potential holders are good people. That's why Miraculous sometimes end up in the wrong hands.

Insert a conversation between Marinette and Tikki or Plagg and Adrien about this choosing process, have them wonder about the bond Nooroo and Hawkmoth share.

Then add more information about bonding. The magical connection can be formed just like people form relationships if human and Kwami spend some time together. It nicely adds up with the reason why Master Fu gave Ladybug and Black Cat to teenagers. He could have given both jewels to adults without a bond and waited for the connection to form but alas, there was no time. He needed active holders right now, and waiting for some adult to come around wasn't an option. But here's the catch. Only decent, kind people with good intentions can earn and create a magical bond. And this has the potential for a truly delicious scenario (more on that later).

It's a very tricky situation. But these rules must be stated and figured out in the very beginning. Because it can create plotholes down the line.

Unification

Combining several different Miraculous is an interesting concept and fusion of powers has been used for a long time as a storytelling element. It's important for the plot in several episodes of seasons 3 and 4.

However, there's "Kwamibuster", where the worldbuilding is broken one more time. It is awfully inconsistent within itself just like "Chat Blanc", "Timetagger" and "Furious Fu". (How do writers keep doing this? I have no idea. But then again even "Avengers: Endgame" contradicts itself numerous times. It's truly miraculous how they managed to do this with their budget, I'm impressed).

For a moment let's ignore all absolutely awful priorities that Marinette has in this episode as well as the rule "you can't know the identity of your partner or else you will have to give up your miraculous". This rule is literally never mentioned again before or after this episode. It's just there and it doesn't make sense. I know it's hard to ignore, but one must try. Instead, let's focus on this dialogue below.

Master Fu clearly states that you can't merge the Miraculous. It could make you lose your mind. The only more or less acceptable unification is that of Ladybug and Black Cat.

What happens next? Marinette puts on every Miraculous without any problem just "to free Kwamis" and transforms into Multimouse. The only sign of her discomfort is a moment of dizziness that's gone in a few seconds. Moreover, it never happens again, it's never mentioned. Then she does the exact thing that Fu told her not to do and starts merging Miraculous left and right. She continues to do so in season 4 every other day. What? Of course, how could I forget Shadowmoth? Gabriel merges 2 Miraculous every time in season 4. He doesn't lose his mind.

You can't tell us that merging can make you lose your mind and then in the next scene show us the complete opposite. That's bad writing. If you need the concept of unification to work then cancel the "lose your mind" rule and instead say that the merging process tires you out. There's no lasting harm, just that you will be very tired. If you want to raise the stakes, then say that wielding more than one Miraculous requires a strong will and practice. It's possible, but you can't perform unification just like that.

In this case, you lay the groundwork for the plotline of Marinette and Adrien for season 4 and 5. This plotline is about mastering unification. Show us how our heroes practice with different combinations of Miraculouses outside of Akuma battles. Show how they are improving. Maybe, Ladybug and Chat Noir nearly lose in the season 3 finale because the unification still drains them. However, in season 4 they put more effort into their training and by the time season 5 rolls around they are good at this. They became a stronger team and partners because of that. Their training sessions are also a good set-up for the development of the love square. Nothing like this will happen, but a girl can dream.

Look, I get it. You want Marinette to be special. Unfortunately, you have made her too special. She starts to break the laws of your magic system. We don't see the process. One moment she has 0 knowledge about something and then she is already an accomplished master of the thing in question and often it happens in the same episode. Marinette somehow just knows about the properties of every Miraculous on-screen, but her training happened off-screen. We as the audience are left confused and wondering. Wait, how does she know this? Was there a missing episode? Was this mentioned in some comic? The audience keenly feels the lack of plot-relevant content and explanations.

Potions and Power-Ups

They are a marketing ploy to sell more toys and merch with character transformations. That's it. Are they useful for the story? Yes, they are sometimes. Do power-up's make sense as a worldbuilding element? I'm sorry to tell you this, but no.

Miraculous Grimoire contains lots of potion recipes for Kwamis. I liked that Kwamis can't read the grimoire to avoid giving information to malevolent holders, which implies that they can't lie to their holder about their powers. I talked about this in my previous posts.

Let's start with Ice Transformation. Apparently, in-universe its only useful characteristic and the thing that sets it apart from normal transformation is skates. Maybe, this transformation also has additional protection from the cold. Maybe. Miraculous makes heroes nearly invulnerable and enhances their physical abilities. I find it hard to believe that protection from elements is not included in the package. And that's it. If we remember that Miraculous holders have subconscious control over transformation's appearance, we can also assume that a person can have conscious control as well. The laws of the magic system in Miraculous allow Marinette to ask Tikki to create skates for this particular transformation. Potions aren't necessary for this. This way you can still sell new toy, but in-universe this works better.

Our next stop is Aqua Transformation. It gives heroes the ability to breathe underwater and fins. That's all. In "Syren" it appears that this transformation also makes them more agile and fast in the water. However, Ladybug's yo-yo worked just fine before Aqua form when she tried to drag Kim to the surface. Her movements underwater weren't restricted either with normal transformation. So their fighting ability is not affected by the potion.

Kwami can live without oxygen. I mentioned earlier that Bunnix with normal transformation in "Timetagger" spent several thousand years in stone without oxygen and probably in some kind of stasis. Do transformed heroes need oxygen? No. Then their inability to breathe underwater doesn't make sense. Therefore, a potion isn't necessary for this.

Next, let's talk about fins. They could appear through the conscious desire of the holder just like skates.

Honestly, "Timetagger" and "Chat Blanc" completely destroyed worldbuilding in Miraculous. These episodes just shouldn't exist. They aren't even consistent within themselves, nevermind the rest of the show, which is why I still don't understand why fandom has such a weird hard-on for them and for Bunnix. Oh, wait. On second thought, I get it. They were just fanservice after all.

Cosmo Bug an Astro Chat. Space power-up give heroes the ability to fly and exist without oxygen. Ancient grimoire had the recipe of space potion, apparently. And humans got into space in the second half of the 20-th century. Ok. That totally makes sense.

If ancient people invented a space potion, that could also mean that back in Ancient Egypt Ladybug and Black Cat holders could use advanced technology. But Su Han in "Furious Fu" is surprised to discover that Ladybug can just call Chat Noir. He assumed she would send a bird with a message. That means that unconscious control over transformation extends to the weapons of heroes. For Marinette and Adrien communication means smartphone with navigation, messages, trackers and Bluetooth earbuds. That's why magic gives them smart weapons. Su Han's words prove that the invention of the space potion is not possible. Unless space potion was also subjected to unconscious control over transformation. People couldn't imagine the possibility of space travel in Ancient Egypt, but they could imagine flight. So, perhaps, for heroes back then space potion simply meant wings.

We've established that heroes don't need oxygen. So, a potion isn't necessary for this. The ability to fly also could be achieved through conscious transformation.

That's all for this part of analysis. Let me know what you think. Stay tuned for the next meta. See you!

[king-maven-calore]

*asks about Mare's M scar turn into another episode of Annie overanalyzing YA books*

this is your fault guys. In trying to make sense of Mare's "decision" to keep the scar, and reading your takes on the matter I started to wonder if there was something more to it than what is offered as an explanation in Mare's PoV. Some parts of the story can't be taken at face value and still expect them to make sense in the established narrative.

⚠️ LONG POST AHEAD ⚠️ and I apologize in advance for my limited English to try to elaborate on such a complex subject.

Anon #1 said: I AGREE WITH YOU SM. I don't understand why Mare kept the scar. Imagine having to explain to your children how you got it...

Anon #2 said: Same. Personally I think she shouldn’t keep it. She claims that she keeps the scar so that it can always remind her of who Maven truly is, but there are literally multiple reminders to remind of who he is. Like the entire Nortan government changing. He was the cause of everything and it caused a domino effect. He caused Shade’s death, babies dying, etc. so all that should be a reminder of who he is imo.

@lucy-the-cat said: Well, in King's Cage she held onto the brand as proof that Maven was irredeemable and didn't deserve sympathy. This framing continued in War Storm, where Mare weaponizes it during the meeting. After killing him, she probably kept it to reassert to herself that she made the right choice.

After killing him in War Storm, she needs to reassert to herself that she made the right choice. Remember that strange scene where she talks to Cal and is all “You’re mad at me for killing your brother” and he’s very confused and she insists “You are you just don’t know it yet”? She’s projecting her guilt over Maven’s death onto him, and in Broken Throne, she sees Cal grieve for the brother that never was, and fears succumbing to the same.

War Storm has a passage where Cal discusses healing some of his scars and Mare retorts that some things should be remembered. But here’s the thing: When a scar heals, the memory of how you got it doesn’t disappear. It’s about not ACTIVELY reminding yourself of it every time you look in the mirror.

That’s self-harm logic. And Mare has always been prone to self-harm, what with her keeping Maven’s letters and admitting to scratching herself in King’s Cage. She got better about it as the books went on, but to me the brand is proof she never fully grew out of it. Maybe she did eventually but humans will do anything to rationalize continuing what we’re already doing.

And yeah, I can see Cal giving up and being like, “FINE I’ll enable you” lol

I think we can all agree that the use of the scar during WS makes sense from a propaganda standpoint, also as a reminder for herself because at that point in the story Maven is still alive and kicking it.

In a world where erasing scars completely is a possibility, it's very interesting that the protagonist chooses to keep it after it served its purpose in the plot. Hence, my problem with the scar starts after the main plot arc ends, when Maven is already gone and the sole presence of the mark becomes a source of retraumatization for Mare.

I really like lucy-the-cat's psychological explanation and I couldn't have worded it better myself. On the other hand, in literature, a wound tells a story.

A scar is a narrative inscribed into the hero's skin, granting them authority over the lived ordeal. Think of the term "Battle scars" something that men used as badges of honor, as proof that they fought in a romanticized war and proved themselves to a patriarchal society that deems violence a form of authority.

Mare takes this conception when she is trying to convince Montfort to go against Maven.

Traumatic memories lack verbal and narrative context; rather, they are encoded in the form of vivid sensations and images (a "death imprint"). The traumatic memory gains destructive force not for the link to the past, but for the repetition in the present of the event that hasn't been fully processed yet.

“You had some scars removed.”

I can only shrug. It’s been weeks since I had a healer erase the older scars across my back and ribs, wiping away the raised edges of white, knotted flesh. Wounds unbecoming of a king. (...) “Some things don’t have to be held on to.”

Her eyes narrow. “And some things do, Cal.”

I can only nod in silent agreement, unwilling to follow her over the precipice of that particular conversation. It won’t lead us anywhere productive. (War Storm ch 23)

If we take a look at the dichotomy of Mare's choice with Cal's, and how it relates to their character arcs, we can see a very common device used in media that employs the damaged body to show the state of the character's soul.

In mainstream media such as Beauty and the Beast, Star Wars, Moon lovers (a K-drama) the redemption of the male protagonist's soul, the ending of their journeys, is marked by the restoration of the body either by transforming back into human (the Beast), the healing of a scar (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, and Wang So), just to mention a few.

At this point in the story, Cal is nearing his final redemptive act by stepping down from the throne, while Mare is reaching her final destructive act, Maven's murder.

I have scars of every kind, from Maven’s brand, from wounds not properly healed, from my own lightning. But I am not a ruin. Not yet. (WS chapter 8)

What I mean to say is, the scar is as much of a choice as the destruction of her soul in the name of the greater good, which isn't much of a choice at all (narratively speaking). And the permanence of the brand even when in canon she could simply have it healed is the metaphorical repressentation of her healing journey. The healing journey that barely fucking starts at THE END of War Storm, as we all know from the infamous epilogue.

Anyway, I hope that made sense. Here's the article mentioned above ("Scarred narratives and speaking wounds").

[hi-i-love-u-bitch]

She lives in a constant state of perpetual indifference as she has lived in Burbank her whole life and there for has grownup surrounded by toons. She's always had a soft spot for Toons as they embody the pure comedy and innocence of the world, living only to make people laugh. This unfortunately leads a lot of them to get taken advantage of and mistreated; and this in turn lead her to pursue a career in the entertainment industry, specifically business and law in which favors Toons.

She ends up in Law school but unfortunately her family isn't made of money so she takes up a few part time jobs, mainly babysitting. Despite her bleak out look on life and dry sarcasm Tianna is actually very good with kids. Which leads to her getting a call from the CEO of Warner Bro Studios himself.

There must have been at least a hundred nannies and babysitters lined up for the interview; each anxiously awaiting their turn as they all listened to the absolute chaos happening behind the door of Psychiatrists Dr. Scratchansniff.

Tianna didn't have to wait too long though as half the candidates noped out before they were even called and the other half ran away screaming 5 minutes after entering. Tianna had absolutely no idea what she was getting into.

She was finally called in by an attractive yet tired looking nurse alongside two older gentleman who Tianna guessed as the CEO and Scratchansniff.

They briefed her on the situation at hand before introducing her to the "patients". Tianna has heard of the Warner siblings before, used to watch a lot of their older cartoons when she was a kid; their random sarcastic comedy always amused her. Apparently they've been getting a lot more out of hand as of late and the studio lot can't take anymore property damage.

Long story short they needed someone to wrangle them into submission, at least for a little bit, until the accounting team can set up a better budget for all the property damage.

Tianna knew that this was impossible and she told them as much; not only were they toons but they were also children, a combination that is a recipe for success entertainment wise but also came with dire consequences business wise.

They begged her to try anyway, promising to pay her double, triple if they had to.

Usually Tianna thrived on seeing corporate fat cats and CEO's suffer for their foolish actions but this.....it was starting to get sad. They all looked very tired and their sanity seemed to be hanging by a thread, especially Scratchansniff.

Tianna reluctantly agreed to give it a shot but only if she receives compensation for any damage (mental or physical) she may suffer while attempting this.

They quickly lead her into another room beyond the office, there she finds the Warner siblings waiting for her on the couch. Well, not so much waiting but more constructing some sort of elaborate Irish river dance while simultaneously playing hopscotch on the couch.

The door was then slammed behind her, and the sound of about a dozen locks clicking all at once let her know that she wasn't going anywhere for a while. That's when the Warners finally noticed her.

She waved awkwardly and they merely stared at her like some sort of demented cat caught eating something it wasn't supposed to.

Before she could even speak a proper hello the two brothers ran at full speed into her arms, kissed her cheeks, and simultaneously said "Helloooo nurse!"

Once able to regain her balance Tianna gave them both an annoyed glare before leading them back to the couch. She sat them back with their sister, who had been quietly observing the situation (probably looking of a funny opening to join in), stepped back with arms crossed and a stern look.

Tianna: That is not a nice thing to do, especially to a woman, let alone a stranger you've just met.

That apparently took them all aback for a moment as if the thought had never occurred to them. It was further confirmed when Wakko raised his hand and ask "why?"

So apparently nobody has taught these kids about personal space, boundaries, and/or asking for consent before and that was all very concerning to Tianna.

A little bit of Toon history: Toons in reality are very innocent beings even if they know a lot of raunchy humor and bad habits, but that is mostly kept on set or amongst themselves. Toons never mean any harm (real life threatening harm that is) even if they're drawn as "good" or "bad", their sole purpose in life is to entertain. Their ethics and morals are very different from that of regular humans and it had been a very long prosses to be able to integrate them with regular people. The problem isn't knowing right from wrong, the problem is teaching them what is taboo amongst humans that isn't taboo amongst Toons. This isn't necessarily their fault as they had been originally drawn with that intention by humans; so really it's humanities fault for playing God and not thinking about the consequences.

Anyways, the Warner siblings were from 1929, when cartoons were just coming out and barely considered living beings with no rights what-so-ever. Atop of that they were children with no parental figure or written background, they've been stuck in a water tower most of their lives, and the only interaction with the outside world they've ever had is through the entertainment industry. So yeah, even by Toon standards this was kind of messed up, these kids could get into some serious legal trouble and not even know it.

So Tianna sat down and talked with them, which is another thing the siblings seemed surprised about because apparently nobody ever just wanted to talk to them, let alone calmly explain to them why what they did was wrong and how they could learn form it. It was a very new experience for them and with each passing minute Tianna grew even more concerned.

The Warners seemed to enjoy talking to her; Dot always liked having another girl around to even things out in the group and excitedly asked if she could style Tianna's hair (she accepted of course). Yakko liked the challenge of trying to make her laugh, since Tianna was such a stoic person even the smallest of chuckles was a victory for him. Plus he enjoyed being able to talk as much as he wanted without somebody telling him to shut up. Wakko was just happy that somebody was willingly interacting with them for more than five minutes. He talked about his favorite snacks and asked if he could call her Tia for short (again she agreed).

She emerges from the room two hours later, hair a mess with uneven braids and pigtails, shirt stained with mustered and jelly, pants and shoes just a touch singed black, yet still happily waving goodbye to the Warners before heading back to the wait room.

It is there that the Nurse, Scratchansniff, and the CEO were anxiously waiting for her. There were surprised to not only see her in one piece but also to see that she wasn't running for the hills despite her disastrously look at the moment. They had no chance to ask her how it all went or if she'd accept the job because as soon as she saw them she started angrily screaming at them, tearing them all a collective new one.

Tianna: Do you have any idea how many ethical Toon entertainment laws you've broken? Not to mention all the child endangerment, mistreatment, and labor laws that have been violated. No wonder they won't cooperate with you, do you have any idea how much emotional and psychological trauma you've caused them? Of course they're Toons so they don't respond to it the same way humans do but there is still a lot of damage done! You've done nothing to teach them on how they should act outside the society of entertainment and instead reprimand them with no explanation what-so-ever. Did you honestly think isolating them inside a goddamn water tower would satiate their need for attention, cause that's all their asking for, just even a little bit of attention and kindness would of helped their psychological and emotional development!

She continued screaming at the three of them for a good half hour before her voice finally gave out, Tianna wasn't used to talking louder than a monotone speaking voice. That still didn't stop her from glaring at them, causing three grown adult that were older and supposedly wiser than her to cower behind a desk.

After a glass of water, a few aspirins, and a complimentary sandwich Tianna was calm enough to finally tell them how the session with the Warners went. She said that they were good kids and would be happy to babysit but also demanded living accommodations with all expenses paid for, five times the salary they promised her, and Sundays off, or so help her she will bring them a lawsuit so bad that it will burn the entire company to the ground. Of course this was all agreed to.

And thus began Tianna's adventures in babysitting the Warner siblings!

(Let me know if y'all want a part 2 with Tia and the Warners hijinks)

[honeytrappaz]

call out post for @ratsofftoya

TW: GROOMING/PEDOPHILIA AND SUICIDE MENTIONS

recently @i-am-a-fish got suicidal baited off tumblr for the most bullshitted accusation post I've seen so far.

apparently I-am-fish is a pedophile/ potential child groomer, as said by @ratsofftoya

All because he made a joke on twitter about moving to pornhub, and follows artists that draw lolicon/aged-up smut of fictional underaged characters.

but there are some major fallacies in @ratsofftoya 's accusations (as if it wasn't obvious enough).

moral appeal:

ratsofftoya's commentary on goldie's pornhub and sex toy posts were very moralistic despite the posts clearly being a joke.

Humor is subjective so it's okay if you didn't laugh at this post, but that isn't an excuse to take away its humor to demean someone by making hasty generalizations about his fanbase. We can't confirm his fanbase is mostly kids, but because this claim is based on a hasty generalization, it is an inappropriate appeal to emotion. Trying to imply that goldie willingly exposes kids to child porn, classic "but think of the kids!" argument.

• There is no data we have on I-am-fish 's audience age demographic.

• there is no proof that majority of the fanbase are minors. that's just a hasty generalization.

• I-am-a-fish does not claim to be a blog for kids, not including "18+" in your bio does not make you a blog for kids.

I can't believe i have to point this shit out, but tumblr and twitter are not for kids. Nobody on these two platforms should have to put "18+" in their bios because nobody below that should even be on these two platforms. I-am-a-fish is an adult making adult jokes on an adult platform, to imply he could be a child groomer because he makes sex jokes that minors see is unfair because thats beyond his control. Tumblr and Twitter are adult spaces and yet we are not responsible for kids being in a space where they don't belong, that responsibility goes to the parents. All we can do about minors in online adult spaces is REPORT them.

2. cherry picking:

ratsofftoya specifically picked TWO sexually suggestive artworks by japanese Twitter artist Krskii. problem is ratsofftoya uses these two posts to portay this artist as a highly lewd/fetish account, when that isn't the case. In actuality, krskii's twitter page is a fanart page for a duo from IDOL MASTER: cinderella girls starlight stage anzu fubata(the blonde loli) and kirari moroboshi. it's a fanart page for other IMCGSS characters as well. i use to play game, its alot of fun but its japanese exclusive so i couldn't play much due to language barriers. the fanart page is almost all SFW, but ratsofftoya pick TWO out of dozens of sfw pics to solidify her claim.

you can go on Krskii's twitter and see for yourself:

and my personal favorite:

(ooh lawd this is cute i might have it as a PFP with credit!)

anyway, ratsofftoya ignored these possibilities:

• There is no proof goldie liked the two photos, or any engagement at all.

• there is no proof that he had seen it, especially out of dozens sfw art.

• just because he follows this artist does not automatically confim he has a sexual attraction for lolis or kids. especially due to how the page is mostly sfw.

• goldie could just be a fan of IMCGSS.

this isn't a creepy pedo twitter page, just an idol fan page. but what really is illogical is the commentary ratsofftoya has in regards to loli drawings. Now with using two pics racy pics, ratsofftoya came to the conclusion that Goldie is sexually attracted to children. But lolicon isn't real children, it's not real CP and it's not even a realistic depiction of humans children, so what rataofftoya did was simply pass off her opinion of lolis as fact. I'm not trying to debate on whether lolicon is okay or not and im not gonna share my opinion, because the real point isn't the subject of lolicon but the wrongful accusation. the real fact is that lolicon is still legal, but social opinion of lolicon is very mixed, our opinions on such a complicated subject is not enough to convict someone as a pedophile. you're opinions do not hold that kind of power, especially without sufficient evidence. let's actually move on to ratsofftoya's evidenced and how insufficient it is.

3. False attribution of discord chats

the screenshots provided from the discord chats do not add up to ratsofftoya's claims, making the screencaps irrelevant more than anything.

she provided this screenshot of a mod stating their opinion on aged up fanart, and claims that this opinions makes ALL MODS in that discord MAPS and Pedo apologists. problem is that there is no real sympathy for any pedo/maps in both ratsofftoya and nestbian's screenshots. if anything, it's just some bad jokes, and Goldie doesn't even say one himself.

rattsofftoya commits the same fallacy like with the loli argument; the concept of aged up characters is complicated subject, its not illegal but there is alot of debate surrounding it. Ratsofftoya makes her opinion clear that aged up artwork of characters is wrong. she uses small and insufficient screenshots to to help make her OPINION seem like a fact, and accuse the mods of being MAP sympathizers. she's convicted these mods based on a biased opinion, the concept of aged up characters is not legally pedophilic so whether you think the subject is right or wrong, is still not enough to convinct others with opposing opinions as MAP enablers.

Another issue is how she claims minors are talking inappropriately with adults on discord, but there are no such screenshots, the screenshots provided give no evidence of such accusation. With her convictions based on biased opinions, that accusations is not going to be getting any credibility anytime soon. Many of us know how discord works, it's not unusual for adults and minors to be in the same server, it's not a pedophilic thing. But one thing that discord mods do is have NSFW chats specifically for adults, while minors are exluded and stay in the SFW chats. ratsofftoya has no screenshots on minors in a nsfw chat, you'd figure that nestbian would take screenshots of that if it was actually true.

Lastly, ratsofftoya uses these discord screenshots to further solidfy her statement that I-am-a-fish is exposing sexual content to children. But you don't see goldie or any inappropriate/sexual content in the screenshots, just problematic opinions at best.

4. Bad intentions:

from what i've said in this post above, I can conclude ratsofftoya's post overrall was very manipulative and biased. I think the most manipulative part of the post was the last paragraph:

Using the idea of child exploitation and sexual abuse to pull on people's emotions, a huge inappropriate call for emotion. yet, ratsofftoya has not proven or shown any child exploitation or pedophilia at all. we have yet to see any evidence of abuse! How can I believe ratsofftoya has good intentions when I can easily break the accusations apart and see lies?

As a real victim of child grooming, i won't speak for all victims, but as a victim I really don't like my trauma being used to witch hunt innocent people. My trauma is not for woke points, it's not a badge and it's not for your ego to exploit. It's pretty clear that ratsofftoya did NOT make this post for the well being of children and grooming victims, but the post was made for her moralistic ego. If anything, to use sexual child abuse to lie about others, is exploitive.

5. consequenses:

I commented on ratsofftoya's post, mentioning that there are serious consequences to false accusations. Of course the response was immature af so not sure if she'll ever learn, but I'll say it for those who'll hopefully listen to my advice.

Call out post with false accusations can destroy lives, and put you, the poster, in serious legal trouble.

Slander and defamation on its own can get you a lawsuit, you never know who on this platform has money for a lawyer. If this person you publicly slander is to self harm, commit suicide, or lose their job, you can be legally held accountable for it even if it wasn't what you intended to happen, disclaimers cat save you from that. Just because ratofftoya says the suicide baiting is wrong, doesn't mean that she isn't legally responsible for it, I-am-a-fish can legally use it against her. Even with the legal consequences, lying in its own has social consequences and it will be brought to light.

Remember this, you broke ass college students, no amount of woke points is worth the lawsuit. If you GENUINELY see a real predator, report it!