#casually spending my sunday night cutting myself and listening to searows on repeat because i can't handle the weight of my existence
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#casually spending my sunday night cutting myself and listening to searows on repeat because i can't handle the weight of my existence#all i can think of is how much i haye everything i do these days#I'm losing my love for all the things i enjoyed#nothing makes me happy anymore#i feel as bad as i did before i was hospitalized#i just. wish i knew how to make it better#not counting work i never talk to anyone anymor#and i know it's largely my fault but i just. don't know what to say anymore#i can feel everyone getting bored of me and pulling away because of my isolation#even my roommate and i barely interact anymore#i just. feel like a husk#our house is completely trashed because i don't have the energy for anything at all#i can barely make it through work. the only motivation and energy i have is spent just keeping myself alive#and even that's barely#i hardly eat or sleep. i keep drinking soda knowing it leads to my blood pressure attacks#I'm completely sabotaging myself and I'm doing it on purpose#anyway#self harm //#tw self harm
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