#cara's patience for sable's trauma behaviors has degrees

[whumpfish]

Reading AJ Mullican's Wolves' Dominion, I finally can put into words the thing that pisses me off about "Caretaker's heart breaks" whump.

It's not that dehumanizing pity is not a typical, normal response. It is. That's the entire basis for sadporn and the springboard for inspiration porn. Inspiration porn wouldn't be "inspiring" to a certain bloc of normal people if they didn't already think the traumatized and disabled were broken and incapable of self-determination to the point of being subhuman.

The very phrase "triumph of the human spirit" suggests that the human spirit of anyone disabled/traumatized who doesn't rise to some level of not only normalcy but excellence by normal standards has been defeated by their circumstances, by the nature of their existence. Normal people's humanity doesn't triumph if they achieve a level of excellence by their own standards. Their ability might, or their character, but not their humanity. See the difference?

It's not that this kind of response to evidence of trauma isn't normal. It's not that "caretakers" don't get "heartbroken" over what a traumatized/disabled person has been reduced to. It's that this outlook--that a "whumpee" has been reduced to their current state--is being held up as true, and not only true, but noble and loving. Because trauma and dis/inability is not a reduction. It's an experience.

Have characters who respond this way, sure, it's a response an alarming amount of humanity has. Just don't pretend pity is love, or that heartbreak over perceived "brokenness" is care.