#captain you're really the silver fox ever

[kanamesengoku]

[likeshipsonthesea]

I dare you to post their get together from chowder's perspective because you're an amazing and magical writer and I'd love to read it at any level of editing

well u did dare me :P inspired heavily by this post

the thing is, chowder really, really loves his new friends.

nursey is so cool and funny and nice and he knows all this poetry that sounds so cool and he always saves chowder a piece of pie when he isn’t there and bitty’s on a baking binge, and he helps chowder write Important Emails and doesn’t even complain when chowder asks him about the exclamation point in the third paragraph for the fourth time

and dex is really smart and has a dry sense of humor and he cares so much about people even when he pretends he doesn’t, he does his laundry when chowder does and lets chowder match all the socks while he folds both of their clothes with like retail level precision and he’s great to sit and work on coding with and never gets upset when chowder interrupts him to ask him why a certain part isn’t working right and he helps bitty make him soup and pastries when he gets sick right before finals week their frog fall semester

and they’re both swawesome at hockey, they do their very best to keep the dirty puck away from his net, and they are such swawesome people and literally the only thing he doesn’t like about his new friends is how adamant they are about not liking each other

he tries, at first, to correct their complaining when they come to him. “the guy refuses to listen to anyone who isn’t himself,” nursey groans, muffled, because his face is pressed against chowder’s pillow, and chowder very kindly explains that dex is a bit stubborn sometimes but he always listens to chowder, even when he has a differing opinion, and when dex wraps himself in chowder’s duvet like a burrito and grumbles out, “he acts like he’s chill all the fucking time just to fuck with me,” chowder says that nursey acts like he’s chill even when dex isn’t there and also, why do you think he’s acting?? i think he’s just that chill

but as time goes on he realizes that neither of them believe him because they haven’t seen it for themselves and, look, he could try and orchestrate some plot where they secretly see one another being good people and miraculously change their opinion about each other and they all become a happy trio of friendos with no animosity at all, but chowder is also an ncaa athlete, a stem major, and someone who likes to party a fair amount. he’s got no time for that kind of bullshit.

and so they go through spring term and things aren’t greeattt all the time and sometimes nursey and dex get into screaming matches on the quad and chowder just has to pretend like he doesn’t know them, but most of the time it’s good, it’s fine, and he really does love his friends.

then they lose the frozen four, something happens that neither of them will tell him about, and the fuckers go and gang up on him

it seems, after all the times chowder told them about how they’re both funny and good at hockey and passionate about school and all the other things they have in common, they decide instead to bond over their mutual love of chirping their very best friend in the whole wide world.

to be honest, he’s just glad they’re getting along.

and they still show up at his room all hours of the night and day to burrow into his bed and complain about each other, but at least now chowder lives in the haus and he can eat pie as he pretends to listen to them.

and maybe he starts noticing how some of the complaints aren’t necessarily the kind of thing you’d expect, like “how are his eyes so fucking green, it’s impossible to win an argument when he’s staring at you” or “have you seen how many freckles he has after summer break?? he’s like one giant freckle, it’s unfairly distracting” and despite not really paying attention, he starts to notice when the tone of complaining changes from i hate this guy to i hate how pretty this guy is

he never brings it up. once again, he does not have time to try and get his two best friends together on top of all his other responsibilities, but he notes it down anyway. for being-a-good-friend-purposes. like when ransom sets nursey up with a girl on the volleyball team, chowder spends the whole night watching monty python movies with dex on the couch, and kindly ignores the relief in dex’s shoulders when nursey shows up to breakfast the next day and relays that the date was a bust. and when they’re doing workouts at the gym, chowder very deftly navigates nursey away from the weights when dex is using them to spare him from turning into a mumbling mess at the sight of dex’s arms

and maybe he notices when they start becoming more self aware and the complaining-about-appearance becomes complaining-about-good-things, like nursey saying, in the middle of a rant, “you know he’s fixed betsy like fifteen times in the past two weeks? how the fuck can you fix an oven fifteen different ways? that’s insane” or when dex pauses his recount of nursey’s ridiculous chill behavior to mention, “he’s been editing ransom’s thesis because he knows how much ransom stresses over grammar and he’s like, really good at it”

and it’s probably at this point that chowder breaks the bro code and tells farmer all about his dumb friends and their dumb mutual infatuation, because lbr here the boy cannot handle all this pining on his own. “they’re in love with each other but they think it’s hate”

“i know, i know” farmer soothes, running her fingers through his hair

“why are boys so dumb” chowder laments

farmer, who is currently wearing her best bra and pantie set under her clothes, sighs deeply. “i don’t know,” she says, equally forlorn.

then, well, then the dib flip happens and nursey and dex are literally shoved together and either one or both of them -- chowder has an inkling that it’s dex, but he’s not sure -- seems to freak out and neither of them comes to his room to complain for the rest of the term.

and then chowder has the greatest summer of his life, his former captain wins the stanley cup, and bitty and jack get to kiss on center ice, and chowder gets to attend a training camp with the falcs and jack and he’s on the ice with twenty stanley cup champions and chowder doesn’t come down from this high until he shows up at the haus and finds out that something has gone horribly wrong.

despite the frequent texts, calls, and facetimes, dex and nursey didn’t seem to have as great summers as they’d made it appear. they don’t really tell him directly -- that’s another thing they have in common, never talking about their emotions plainly -- but from what chowder can glean from what they do tell him, is that dex’s family seemed to take jack and bitty’s coming out as evidence towards dex’s queerness and they were dealing with it... less than great, and nursey’s parents had a fight and had since been jettisoning around the world for “work” in an attempt to avoid one another and, as a result, nursey

the living together thing goes.. not swawesome. chowder is obviously disappointed that he no longer has his two best friends just a bathroom away, but after dex moves into the basement, both nursey and dex start coming back to his room for complain sessions again and it’s -- chowder wants to say it’s a good sign.

it starts out mostly complaint complaining, the familiar stuff from their frog year, but slowly but surely as the year goes on the old “his fucking hair” and “he literally helped a little old lady carry her groceries to her car” come back into play and chowder lets go of some stress he hadn’t realized he’d been holding

“they’re going to make me go gray before i’ve even hit 25,” chowder says, another night when he’s complaining to farmer, and farmer says, “you’d look sexy as a silver fox,” and, well. the rest of the night is spent very much not complaining

senior year, they’ve got an ncaa championship under their belt and dex is the captain. he stops coming to chowder’s dorm, probably out of some sense of loyalty to his team that chowder finds both ridiculous and sweet. nursey seems to have no qualms complaining about his captain, on the other hand, but soon even the thin veneer of complaining he’d covered all his pining with has washed away.

“he’s so good with the baby frogs,” and “never tell this to another living soul, but his cherry pie is even better than bitty’s,” and, one memorable night, “do you think i’m in love with dex?”

it’s after sunset, the world dark outside chowder’s window but he’s not exactly sure of the time, and nursey’s lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and he looks -- chill. he doesn’t always look chill anymore -- looking back, chowder can admit that maybe the ever-present chill from their frog year had been more a show than anything else -- so this chill means something important, chowder thinks.

chowder thinks, smiling a little, that nursey is finally ready.

“of fucking course i think you’re in love with dex,” chowder bursts out with the frustration that’s a by-product of having patience for three and a half fucking years. “you’ve come into my room at all hours of the day since we were freshmen to complain about how pretty his freckles are, you’ve been in love with the dude for years, and i’ve had to sit here and deal with all of it.”

nursey’s staring at him with a slightly open mouthed, wide-eyed expression.

chowder gathers his poise and then says, very calmly, “yes.”

nursey nods, once or twice slowly and then picking up speed. “wow. okay.”

“i’ve been holding that in for a while.”

“i could tell.”

“hmm.”

a stupid, hopeful, optimistic part of chowder thought that would be the end of it. nursey realized he’s in love with dex, he’d tell dex, and they’d be all stupid and gross and finally chowder would get them back for years of fines.

but nothing seems to change. nursey still comes in and ostensibly complains while pining and dex still doesn’t, instead apparently baking away his frustration (and it’s not like chowder’s going to complain about that) and really, chowder should’ve known these two idiots would need more than a few sentences to get over their combined stupidity

it comes to a head a week before graduation. never let it be said that chowder’s friends are anything less than Dramatic Fuckers

he’s helping dex pack away everything he won’t need in the next few days so when he and nursey leave for new york after graduation there won’t be much to do. he finds a random green beanie in a drawer with dex’s workout clothes and says, “hey, where should i put this?” and dex gets the most ridiculous sappy look on his face.

he hasn’t technically been chowder’s captain since the season ended with a back to back ncaa championship a month ago, and it’s not like dex has any authority over him after how many times he bugged chowder about nursey’s nose, so it’s without hesitation and with purely dex’s best interests at heart that chowder says, “you know you’re in love with him, right?”

dex surprises him then by saying, “yeah.”

a vein in chowder’s neck nearly pops. “then why the fuck have i been listening to nursey pine about your eyelashes for months.”

dex’s eyes widen and, when he gets over the surprise elation whatever, he stumbles over some stupid explanation that captains shouldn’t date their players and it wasn’t the right time and all this other absolute crap, and so chowder does the most meddling he’s ever allowed himself to do and tells dex that he will finish the packing as long as he goes and finds nursey right this fucking second

when nursey and dex tell the story to him and farmer later -- dex blushing and nursey embellishing with his arm curled around dex’s shoulders, pulling him close -- chowder will laugh and tease them and play his part as their very best friend in the whole wide world.

but that night, when he’s gross and sweaty from packing up dex’s entire fucking room and he can’t even sleep in his own goddamned bed because his friends are being exceptionally loud just one bathroom away, he shows up on farmer’s doorstep and says, with all the sincerity in the world, “i hate my friends”

[vannahfanfics]

I know you've currently got quite the list already, but could i request an X Drake and Jewelry Bonney fic with the prompt "Birthday Cake"? It can be platonic or romantic, as there isn't as much of an age gap between them (Oda says even he isn't really sure of her real age due to her powers), but go with what you're comfortable with. I just like someone as stern but secretly shy as Drake interacting with a woman as rough and boisterous as Bonney, lol.

Here’s your latest request, love! It is definitely the sauciest thing I have ever written and you can jot that down to my headcanon that Bonney is a flirtatious little devil queen. Fufufufu, I hope you enjoy it

Icing on the Cake

Bonney released a loud, contented sigh as she plopped down onto the bar chair, leaning against its wooden back as she propped her booted feet on the small table. She slung her arm lazily over the shoulder and twirled the luscious strands of her bubblegum-pink hair around her finger while flashing a wink at the very uncomfortable waiter. He flushed the color of her hair before whirling on his heel to scurry off to the bar, because the entirety of the staff already knew what “Big Eater” Bonney liked to partake in. This particular bar was one of her favorite haunts, and regardless of where she was or what she was doing, she always made a voyage to this island at a particular time of the year…

This bar, of all the many restaurants Bonney had frequented in her life, simply had the most delectable, delicious, irresistible birthday cake that she had ever tasted!

The bar had been anticipating her arrival, as most of the patrons consisted of her crew, who were already in various states of drunk. Plates and glasses had already begun flying about, and the poor cleaning staff were struggling to maneuver brooms through the writhing, sweaty bodies to sweep away the glass, because the rowdy pirates would surely turn on them once they got a glass shard to the sole of their foot. A large flagon of cream soda was delivered to Bonney’s waiting hand. Normally, of course, she would drown herself in alcohol like the rest of her mates, but the bitter taste of beer went horribly with the sweet birthday cake! No, tonight, Bonney was going to deliver herself to a sugar coma rather than a drunken stupor.

A big smile painted her face as she sloppily chugged on the frothy soda, a faint line of fizz decorating her face as she slammed it down and demanded another. Balancing the chair on two legs as she contentedly eased it back and forth, Bonney was relaxed despite the raucous atmosphere. Birthday cake~ Birthday cake~ she chanted blissfully in her mind, swinging her finger about to the tune. Everywhere else she would be slamming her fists and hurling chairs if she didn’t immediately have her food, but this was the rare instance in which patience was well rewarded. Drool began to pool in the corner of her mouth as she imagined it being brandished on a silver platter, an entire tiered strawberry and cream cake being presented to her and her only… Ooh, she could literally taste the creamy buttercream on her tongue already! She clicked her tongue as she reeled her mind back in, lest she truly become irritable at waiting. She didn’t want to hound the kitchen staff at the expense at her delicious cake, after all…

The door to the bar was suddenly slammed open. Everyone in the bar hall, including Bonney, whirled their heads about to stare in awe at whoever dared to trespass on what was temporarily the pirate lass’s domain. Her mouth twisted into a mischievous smirk as she recognized the large, hulk, intimidating form of Marine-turned-pirate X Drake. His sharp blue eyes scanned the disheveled bar scene until they landed on Bonney’s lounging, grinning form.

“My, my. It seems this bar is already taken.” Bonney released a coquettish whimper as his low, rumbling, deep voice graced her pretty little ears; Bonney’s love of men nearly rivaled her love of food, and she would be a fool to deny that the muscled ginger cut a very attractive figure. His eyes were trained on her, waiting for her reaction, and Bonney instantly shifted into coy vixen mode. With a girlish flutter of her eyelashes, she began tracing intricate patterns into the exposed skin of her thigh and shifted her body to give him a healthy view of her assets.

“Nonsense, Drake,” she cooed invitingly. ���The more the merrier. Come sit with me a while

Bonney refused to remove her feet from the table as Drake dragged a chair over to sit across from her; after all, her long, shapely legs were one of her best features, and like hell she wasn’t going to have them on full display for her handsome suitor. “Tell me,” she hummed while continuing to paint invisible patterns in her milky smooth skin, “what brings X Drake to this little spot in the sea?” His eye flickered uncomfortably to her swirling finger before darting back up to her.

“What brings Jewelry Bonney to this little spot in the sea?” he countered calmly. She fell back into the chair with an airy laugh; oh, he was playing along, how fun! She tilted her head, exposing her neck to him with every amount of suggestiveness, and eyed him good-humoredly.

“Oh, were you not aware? It’s my birthday, and this little joint happens to have the best birthday cake in all the Grand Line!” His expression remained stony.

“Happy birthday.” She pursed her lips in a disappointed pout, finally bringing her legs down from the table only to plaster her large chest across its surface; the blush crept further up Drake’s thick neck as they nearly spilled out of her flimsy ruffled tank top.

“Oh, Drakey, honey, surely you can manage more feeling than that?” she whined pitifully. “You make me think you don’t care!” The corner of his mouth tugged down into a very painful frown. Bonney was not one to let up the chase. The chair’s legs piercingly scraped the floor as she dragged it closer to him to wrap a dainty little hand around his thick bicep. His ears were burning pink now, and he looked away with a grunt as it blazed over his cheeks.

“What are you doing, woman?”

“Why, I’m just enjoying the company of a sexy man~” she answered unabashedly. “There’s nothing else to do while I wait for my birthday cake, so I might as well have a little fun Ahaha! Could he be shy with women? A weakness I never expected from him, but amusing all the same! “What is it?” she asked with a striking but false change in mood, her eyes growing big and wide and her lips poking out in a sad little pout. “Do you not think I’m pretty?” One of her many talents was crying on command, so it was nothing to will a few sparkling tears into her big brown eyes.

“What? I- no- of course- um,” he began stammering uncontrollably. As his face turned the color of a tomato, Bonney simply couldn’t help but begin chortling; oh, how easy it was to fluster him! “Y-you’re a very striking young lady…” he admitted after repairing the short-circuit in his frazzled brain. Bonney squealed in delight and then all but jumped into his lap, hooking her long legs at either side of the chair while she pressed her lower abdomen against his. Drake’s back slammed into the back of the chair in a pitiful effort to put distance between them, but the wooden structure prevented his escape. Chuckling darkly as her eyes glittered hungrily, she began running her nails lightly up and down his chiseled, exposed pectoral and abdominal muscles.

“Tell me, how do you get muscles like these? Your workout regimen must be brutal,” she tutted in mock sympathy.

“What are you doing?” he growled through clenched teeth. Bonney clicked her tongue and lightly tapped the underside of his chin.

“Oh, lighten up, honey; it’s just a bit of fun, like I said. What, do you not enjoy a strapping young fox like me on your lap? You want a little younger? Or a little older?” she asked tauntingly, using her Devil Fruit powers to alter her appearance in accordance to her questions. Drake had his head tilted back and eyes trained on the ceiling. Ah, his resistance was so much more satisfying than him drooling at her feet! His large hands suddenly jumped up to wrap firmly around her upper arms.

“This is not my idea of fun.” His tense growl was in direct opposite to the sneaking glance he shot at her cleavage. Bonney cooed like a dove, leaning forward to very purposefully press them against the X-mark tattooed to his chest. Her hand swept up to his head, knocking off his flared hat to begin teasing his styled golden-orange hair. “You are playing a dangerous game,” he warned with a pointed look, but this time made no effort to cease her ministrations. Bonney bit down on her tongue, giving a pleased wriggle on his lap as he began to relinquish himself to her teasing clutches.

“I love dangerous games,” she breathed against his face, eyelashes fluttering like innocent butterflies. His fingers dug into the flesh of her upper arm as he wrestled with his own pride and self-control; she was having such a way with him so easily, so of course the poor thing was resisting it. A vein was bulging in his forehead from how hard he was trying to curb Bonney’s temptations. Slowly, very slowly, his hands loosened and slid down her slim arms to settle at the curved juncture of her waist and hips. “Atta boy, Drakey,” she applauded, awarding him with another sensual fidget on her throne.

“I don’t know who’s the dangerous one here, me or you,” he laughed dryly. The man was finally beginning to enjoy himself, judging from the deprecating leer he was wearing. Bonney snickered as she traced the X-shaped scar decorating his prominent chin.

“Definitely me.” Her brown eyes flickered to the door of the kitchen as it was thrust open, and finally, finally, her birthday cake was ready. It was a massive specimen, made of four spongey tiers laden with buckets of thick white icing with gobs of bright pink icing painting the edges. It was covered in round rainbow sprinkles which were raining down onto the wooden floor as the three cooks hobbled towards the table, burdened by its massive weight. Bonney clapped her hands together with a trill of glee and whirled around so that her back was now resting against Drake’s broad chest.

“Are you really going to eat all that?” he asked with obvious concern. Bonney tutted and reached behind her to pat his cheek.

“Oh, honey, you really do know nothing about me. We’ll have to amend that,” she sighed deeply in play hurt. Her expression didn’t convey that in the slightest, however; her starving eyes were like glittering smoky quartz as she licked her lips, beholding the ginormous birthday cake as it was slid onto the table, ripe for her taking. Bonney was not one for propriety; she wasn’t going to take this baby a slice at a time. No sooner had the head chef handed her a large fork did she stab into the bottom tier of the cake, revealing the rich strawberry cake concealed beneath the curtain of white. She heard Drake choke as she shoveled a huge mass of the cake into her mouth. Instantaneously, she was delivered to the realm of sugary bliss. The strawberry cake was just the perfect texture and burst in sweet-tart sambas across her tongue, while the saccharine creamy icing waltzed in slower but no less powerful tunes in conjunction. With a small groan of pleasure, she melted against the very confused and confusingly aroused man seated beneath her petite frame. After the sweet fog cleared from her mind, she grinned devilishly and looked up at Drake, making quite a show of licking excess icing from the corner of her mouth.

“How cruel. You’re going to make me sit here and watch while I get nothing?” The way his deep bass voice rumbled against her back was so nice to Bonney. Coyly, she pressed a finger to her lips as feigned mulling the prospect over. Of course, there was no way in hell she was going to sacrifice even one sliver of her birthday cake to him, at least not yet… But, there was a way she could spin the situation further into her favor.

“Oh, what to do? You have been so generous in keeping me entertained, so perhaps I can let you have just a little taste,” she reasoned as she rolled her gaze around thoughtfully before landing on his face once more. Eyes trained on the smug and amused X Drake, she dipped a finger in the thick icing before smearing it all over her slightly puckered lips. His eyebrows shot up to the roots of his hair, and Bonney laughed delightedly while kicking the floor with the soles of her boots at the return of his bashfulness. He gulped and stared hard at the sweet icing decorating her soft and oh so very kissable lips. “What is it, Drakey?” she asked while twisting to the side to lounge against his thick arm, which was draped over the edge of the table. “You’d better hurry before I change my mind,” she said while teasingly flicking the top of her bottom lip with the very tip of her tongue.

“You are a seductress,” he snarled huskily at her in a blend of frustration and hilarity. Bonney arched her back into him as his face descended quickly over hers, hungry lips devouring hers in an instant. Bonney’s hand played with his now-mussed tufts of ginger hair as his tongue greedily licked every trace of icing from her lips. Of course he didn’t stop there; as Bonney laughed lightly, it dove into her mouth to tangle heatedly with her own, and she found the flavor of him mixing with the sweet taste of the icing to be simply immaculate. Happy birthday to me~

Bonney had ventured to this little hole-in-the-wall, backwater island for some simple birthday fun, but landing a big, tough, manly playmate for the night was definitely the icing on the cake…  

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