#can't wait for the mental breakdown boo

[hannigramislife]

The way I'd pay money to know what Dazai was thinking during that one scene where Kunikida showed Atsushi a photo of Akutagawa and was like "If you see him, run."

Like, genuinely how can one get over the fact that Dazai doesn't care about Akutagawa at all? In the sense that, you have seen this man form relationships with plenty of people around him, regardless of how bad or good his mental state was–

Yet he refuses to even attempt at helping the boy he himself took in?? Unprompted??

How can you not feel even the tiniest sense of responsibility? Obligation, connection, sympathy–

Accountability.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Savannah: [Okay so my idea is it's literally the first day because of course it is, highkey bitches, and like they haven't had chance to talk much as they're also the kinda bitches who wanna make a good first impression on whoever they are doing this work experience for but then they get told to do something together. The thing is, Jac can't find Sav, until she does find her crying in the bathroom because it's like a few months previous so her dad hasn't left yet and things are really messy between her parents obvs she would've tried to call her boyfriend but he wouldn't answer cos he's doing work experience too so Jac comforts her and it's a #bondingmoment and I thought we could start the convo after that/ later either with Jac being like are you okay now or Sav being like I'm so embarrassed] Jac: [yes 1000% to all of that, good thinking boo] Savannah: [would you like to start it being concerned to show she's not like Mia levels of callous heartless bitch?] Jac: [on it lmao] Jac: Hi, just wanted to check in, I hope you're feeling a bit better now Jac: know we haven't particularly before, but if you do ever need to talk Jac: sometimes friends don't get it, I know Savannah: Oh god, I've never been this embarrassed in my entire life! Savannah: I don't normally do that, honestly Jac: Of course Jac: You so don't need to be, I promise Jac: it sounds like you're going through a lot right now, you did amazing keeping it together all day Savannah: Everything is getting on top of me, I swear I'd be living at my boyfriend's if not for my little sister Savannah: but when I am home I have to be strong for her so I just feel so alone there Savannah: Like, I can't even feel how I feel Jac: Everyone always puts such unfair pressure on the oldest, I'm the same Jac: but you are strong, I can tell, even if you don't feel it all the time Jac: it's strong to admit you aren't okay, and that that's okay Savannah: That's so true! Did we ask to get born first, no? Savannah: you're the sweetest, I can tell Savannah: none of my friends have even tried to make me feel better Jac: Lifetime of being a babysitter and bodyguard 🙄 Jac: People can get so wrapped up in their own 'drama' Jac: some people we go to school with have never had an actual problem in their life and it shows Jac: but like I said, you can always come to me, even if you just wanna vent everything out and not have me respond, that's totally fine Jac: you should have someone you can confide in Savannah: Sienna needs it though, she's very very shy Savannah: People would take advantage if I wasn't there Savannah: Exactly! They think not getting a text back is a crisis Savannah: don't judge me because I know how this sounds but my boyfriend has totally become my best friend since we got together Savannah: it's great & I love that but I can't offload EVERYTHING onto him Savannah: there's no way I could have a breakdown & then delete it later, you know? Jac: Mine are the total opposite of shy, but there's no telling what kind of nonsense they'd get into if I weren't there to keep them safe Jac: That makes total sense Jac: and I think its sweet, most girls don't even LIKE their boyfriends, it's so childish Jac: but you're right, you can't rely on one person for everything, it's not fair on them, but also you Savannah: Yes! 👏 Why would I spend my precious time with someone who isn't worth that? Savannah: I don't understand most of the people we go to school with, seriously Savannah: my friends are always with their boyfriends too but fighting constantly about things that are nonsense Jac: 🙌 Preach Jac: Me either, it's honestly tiring having to deal with their 'logic' Jac: I thought there was like, no one at school with their priorities straight Savannah: & if you try & say anything you get attacked, like I'm offering help Savannah: my life is falling apart here & I do not have the mental space for your negativity Jac: People don't like when you help 'cos they cause their 'problems' themselves and they've got no intention of fixing them Jac: try not to take it personally, it says SO much more about them than it does you Jac: it's shitty they can't but that aside and be there for you when you really need them though, I'm sorry ❤ Savannah: You should literally be my parents relationship therapist Jac: I do want to do Psychology at Uni Savannah: OH MY GOD, me too! Savannah: I wanna go to Bath but I wouldn't mind St Andrews either even though it's only ranked 4th Savannah: Oxford & Cambridge are...what's the word? Jac: No way Jac: How do we have so much in common and we're only just finding out? Jac: It's like, they're the dream but also, are they just too old-fashioned for words? Jac: Some people in my family went to Cambridge, and I want to make my own path, you know? Savannah: That's SO important Savannah: & I know what you mean, as an educated black girl I just cannot Savannah: Imagine if we'd ended up at the same uni & I ran into you at some party or lecture Jac: ^^ You really have to think about these things Jac: That would be crazy Jac: as much as I'm DYING for the fresh start, it would be cool to have you there, a familiar face 😌 Savannah: You can read my mind Jac: I'm pretty sure I want Bath too, but Edinburgh seems like such a COOL city so 🤔😬😂 Jac: Cannot wait to do tours Savannah: You're SO right, there's no way to decide properly until we've been there Jac: I wish I could convince my 'rents that I need to go sooner rather than later 🙄 Savannah: I could talk my dad into anything at the moment, come with us! Jac: Seriously? Savannah: you have to Jac: We were meant to meet Jac: properly meet, I mean Savannah: That's what it feels like Jac: Fate is such a thing, honestly, there's so many weird 'conincidences' that have totally changed my life Savannah: It was such a strange little moment that brought me and my boyfriend together too, that could've easily not happened Jac: Right? Jac: Life is so crazy Savannah: I feel really happy at this exact moment & I wanted to die earlier Savannah: it's you Savannah: you're incredible Jac: I'm so glad you feel better, that's like, what I was meant to do, I can feel it Jac: you're so lovely, like ??? Savannah: Why have we never talked before? How? Jac: It's madness! Jac: Like, I need you in my life, honestly, my friends are just not even on the same planet sometimes, I swear Savannah: Oh honey, you can talk to me whenever too Savannah: I'm bringing breakfast into work for us tomorrow, no arguments, what do you love? Jac: ❤❤ Jac: caffeine anything 😜 Jac: do you go to [some #aes af cafe she definitely does go to too]? their pastries are 😘 so good Savannah: Get out! Of course I do! Savannah: I can't believe we haven't seen each other there Jac: 🤯🤯 This is silly now Jac: we're gonna have to sit down and work out the things we DON'T have in common at this rate Savannah: I'm going to [another aesthetic af place] later if you want to join? Home is the last place I wanna be Jac: Definitely Jac: Not done cheering you up yet Jac: and that place is also PERFECT Savannah: 🙌 Thank god you said yes 🙌 Savannah: I would totally have been crying again if it was a no Jac: Never Jac: You're so cool, Savannah Savannah: I'm going to have to think of a description for you that like only exists for you Savannah: because there are some other cool people but you're next level Jac: You are just the sweetest too, like how are you EVERYTHING Savannah: We're clearly everything together, we worked so hard today & now this Savannah: not letting you leave my life Jac: We make the perfect team Jac: I was lowkey so worried no one else would be going to this placement and then it turns out the BEST person ever is, okay 🙏🌍 Savannah: 💞 Savannah: All my friends are working in nurseries or in shops that'll give them free skincare Jac: Seriously! 🙄 Everyone just wants to have the easiest time possible Jac: my friend is legit working on reception in the sports centre next to the school Jac: like this is a chance to get your foot in the door somewhere and that's what you came up with? smh Savannah: You had it spot on when you said nobody our age has any sense of priorities Savannah: no offence to your friend but I could never Jac: Me either, there's a reason she's on her own 💁😏 Savannah: 😄

[jimlingss]

I can't believe you ended chp 16 of Jp like that...i want to fight 😭

if you fight me, i’m guaranteed to be hospitalized ((look at these noodle arms)) and then who will post the next chapter on Monday? uh huuuh, that’s what I thought. Think twice before you wanna square up. (ง •̀_•́)ง

I am now answering spoiler-y messages below, so beware....

[SPOILER ALERT] 

*SPOILER ALERT**SPOILER ALERT**!SPOILER ALERT!*

Massive spoilers to come, please do not read if you have not yet read Jungle Park Chapter 16. Or go ahead and read if you’re chaotic like that.

Anonymous said: ok but what if oc and Hoseok were actually engaged....

I’m an idiot, anon - I accidentally deleted your ask before I copied it correctly lol oops, but ding ding ding! correct! you’re a winner!! i believe you sent me this message like 2 chapters ago and honestly you freaked me out by how accurate you were. dammit, I might’ve been too predictable, but you catch on quick. sorry i couldn’t answer sooner hahaha i couldn’t risk other people jumping on the same theory. you’re a genius tho, i’ll give you props for it.

Anonymous said: DATED!FOR 4 YEARS! ENGAGED! Omg wow shit really hit the fan like there is no coming back omg Wowoowoeoeoeooew I’m SHOOK like I never expected that like NEVER!!!

Anonymous said:I KNEW IT!!! i had a feeling it was either a really long relationship or they were engaged at one point. TURNS OUT IT WAS BOTH omg gahdhsjxbjsjs I'm so excited to see this all just unravel omgomgomgomg

kawaii-ing said: FhbsjshJuxYhUgrnziVJgdjsbdud JUNGLE PARK CHAPTER 16 JUST WRECKED ME YO 😱😱😱😱😱 HE KNOWS AND SHE DOESNT KNOW HE KNOWS IM SO CURIOUS FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NOW Btw lovvvveeee your writing, thanks for all your hard work boo xxx💜💜

ASDFGHJKL I SAID SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN AND I FOLLOWED THROUGH, RIGHT?? AREN’T YOU PROUD! THERE’S NO CLICKBAIT ON THIS BLOG HAHAHA 

Anonymous said: omgg 4 years? ENGAGED?? I’m ??? jut WHAT happened

:O :O

Anonymous said: BROOOOOOO! THEY WERE ENGAGED :o *insert Pikachu meme*

pikachu meme?? hahaha is that a sarcastic surprise? so you weren’t actually? lolololol :O

Anonymous said: Ahh I loved jungle park 16!! I'm so excited for the angst to come 👀 is hoseok's car accident related to oc at all?

hmm guess you’ll have to wait and see ((but also just putting it out there that if it was related that would be pretty makjang and lol im not about that life with this series))

Anonymous said: (1)oh holy hell Kina,,,my head’s hurting bcs of JP:16. ENGAGED what?? huh. now its one of my fav chapters, like 4-6 (ah those innocent cute baby steps in hoseok’s&oc’s relationship,,,not THIS). but freaking FINALLY someone spilled the beans. i love this kind of scenes, THE truth revelation. chang’s unaware of storm hes causing with his words, hoseok’s world’s simply crushing, oc doesnt know yet whats happening&dae is helplessly watching from sidelines trying to stop the catastrophe&failing

Anonymous said:(2)thats sad. i kinda can imagine what hoseoks feeling now, plagued w question that almost no one’s willing to answer, that drive him crazy.what happened? why did oc hide the truth? what did i do, how bad did we hurt each other? why can’t i remember any of it fuck. its a perfect opportunity for insecurities&ugly thoughts&inner demons to poison his mind. and oc...her house of cards collapsed revealing things she was trying hard to escape. will she feign ignorance again or will she finally face it

Anonymous said:(3)i just hope that in the end after this storm theyll reach their own peace, whatever the outcome will be. past stays in past, but only if every issue is resolved. otherwise it might return later&be worse than before. it was a great chapter. thank you — chem

THE BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED!!! honestly the universe is in chaos right now lol Hoseok’s like the fuck....and oc doesn’t even know lol but yeah it’s definitely a sad situation for almost all parties. there’s still more to be revealed tho, like the actual details of what the fuck went on haha anyways, i’m glad you’re enjoying it!

Anonymous said: AAHHHHH ITS FINALLY HERE!! Thank you 💞💞. Wow it was truly a lot and honestly, I feel kinda scared for Hoseok... it’s crazy that he really doesn’t remember anything and learning all this new information is like being in another word. If this story wasn’t one about love and fluff, it could’ve totally turned into a horror story lol. Thank you again and I’m very excited to see where the story goes!!

a horror? can’t say im very good at the genre but that’s definitely an interesting concept....the more i think about it....like for someone to go through something suppper traumatic and not remember at all and someone appears in their life but it turns out that someone was actually the serial killer? dammmmn that would be really interesting. i digress, thank you for enjoying it. definitely Hoseok is lost, scared, confused.

Anonymous said: SHIT’S 🗣 HITTING 🗣 THE 🗣 FAN 🗣 omg *insert “she’s meditating” “she’s dead” meme* and the fact that this is just the beginning??? how?? what?? i’m honestly so skek for the next chapter like i dont think hoseok’s gonna go apeshit on yn but you never know now do you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ superb chapter for reals!!!! like, all of your writing is great but this chapter?? *chef’s kiss* didnt even know i was an angst fan until this chapter lol sending all my love to you!!! - chanting anon

hahhahahahhahaha there’s a lot more to unravel. now the puzzle has been exposed, we gotta start looking at the details. thank you for the message *throws chef’s kiss back* also welcome to the angst realm lol

Anonymous said: finals starts at the 20th and school ends in the 24th and we're still at chap 1 on our research. Due to stress, i thought, hey, might as well read the latest chapter bUT WHO KNEW IT WOULD BRING ME MORE STRESS. FOUR YEARS?! ENGAGED?! i feel like hoseok right now. You make such awesome stories and worlds. It affects me in so many good ways i cant even. i dont always give you my thoughts per chapter but i want you to know that i scream at every single one of them. have a nice day! - anon h.a.n.d.

oh my goodness!!! good luck on your exams!! hahah im sorry the chapter isn’t very much comfort food and kind of more wild but still happy you enjoyed it! 

Anonymous said: PT. 15 & 16?! WHAT. I COME BACK TO TWO CHAPTERS. HOLY COW. but really, like now that I know what I know, I’m so sad. I wonder what their relationship was like. That’s a lot of time to invest in someone and for it to fall apart like that... I couldn’t imagine what OC had to go through. I’m sad BUT THE DEVELOPMENT IS MAKING ME SO FREAKIN EXCITED. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THE PAST. I CANT WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH ELSE HE FINDS OUT.

I KNOW RIGHT?? LIKE FOUR YEARS IS A FUCKING LONG TIME. then again that was like 8 years ago. but yeah, it’s sad for both oc and Hoseok, y’know? I’M GLAD YOU’RE EXCITED!!!

Anonymous said: Great Jungle Park chapter! I'm pissed because SOMEONE SPOILED IT and i saw they were engaged before i could even click on the 'read more',,, but great chapter! I wish i could've read it without knowing, it kinda made me sad and it was not as great as it could have been.. @people spoiling, fuck off >:(( @you you're the best writer ily u nice keep going!! Can't wait to have Hoseok's full mind process over how crazy it is he doesn't remember 4 YEARS and an ENGAGEMENT (and only 2 dates huhu)

haha chill, anon. did you actually know that spoilers can make someone enjoy a story more? it’s actually a really interesting thing to google and find out more about. the chapter’s still the same whether you had an inkling of what was going on or not. you still enjoyed it too, right?  :D 

Anonymous said: CRAP OK, well, we knew it was something more than two days, but HONESTLY lol I love how you wrote y/n trying to keep it together. I could feel her fear as she lost control of the situation when Hoseok showed up. Do you think in her mind she even slightly expected him to show up? I'm assuming she's very internal w/ her thoughts/feelings seeing as she doesn't talk to anyone about what happened between her & Hobi all those years ago nor has she dealt w/ it, mostly just avoided it, would you say?

oh yeah oc was on the verge of a mental breakdown when he showed up rofl, damn near scared her. he was basically like a jumpscare LOL. but yeah for sure she didn’t expect him to come. i mean she basically told him and he was like ‘ok whatever’ and didn’t express interest and it’s not like he got an invite so she didn’t know he would actually go out of his way to show up. and yeah i agree, oc’s very internal with her feelings, or at least what happened all those years ago. it’s sensitive issues anyway that she’s left behind. or at least tried to.

tofugguk said: BROOO i LITERALLY— LITERALLY LOST IT. WHEN CHANGSUB DROPPED THEM BEING TOGETHER FOR LIKE FOUR YEARS THEN THE- “You guys even got engaged.” PART I SCREAMED. YOOOOO I CANTTT HANDLE THIS

Changsub isn’t the dumbass that we wanted. But the dumbass we needed.

((don’t you love how oc tried so hard to keep it a secret for like 16 chapters aka like near a year and some idiot comes trapezing in and in his first scene he just spills all the beans??? hahahha))