#can't i be like a bush. or an apple tree. or smth.
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tonight no silly lil drawings, brain too much consumed by the horror. tomorrow who knows
#the horrors being me left alone vs da ppl in my head who won't make themselves clear of who they are#youth program thingy where i live FINALLY has back a psychologist available so i'll be able to get back to free therapy on monday ✌️#the chances that this is the same therapist i had a year ago who pre diag me w/ DID are soooo low but. who knows!#trying to manifest the return of the therapist so i don't have to. dive back to. My Lore let's say gksbfksnflsk#made progress in a year but stillvwasn't opening that much at the end#so i really don't know how things will go if it is a new person i don't know#smh why brain exist if brain hard#why thoughts haver#can't i be like a bush. or an apple tree. or smth.#they might have thoughts but not. the ones one human can have you know.#venting imnso sorry no one give a shit#did is so weird you're logically never truly alone. but. at the same time so lonely. im so alone in this.#im so so lonely#mitski voice my god im so lonely etc etc etc#ocd kicking my ass too i mean i don't even know if that's only ocd as im seeing shit now so </3 yea rituals are become extreme lol#almost broke my neck so many times on my way to bed because of dumb rituals#the fact that im perfectly aware this isn't logical and it's stupid but it still dictates so many shit in my day to day life!! hate it here#im so tired#im sorry for polluting your dashboards#prob won't reach anyone anyway
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