#can't believe i'm actually using an art of mine to promote it!!!!!!

[ghostofashina]

of cold nights and first times

Wolf felt the hit of alcohol both in his stomach and in his head. "It tastes funny." “You get used to it after a while,” Emma assured, also drinking from her glass, without showing any kind of reaction.

EMMA/WOLF — SAKE DRINKING — FLUFF — 3,072 WORDS.

For the first time, Wolf decides to drink sake with Emma and Sekijo. Finally.

READ ON AO3.

[fullmetalgirl98]

30 days Hypnosis Mic challenge

DAY 10: a thing that's not canon but you think it is

🎤 Doppo smokes.

For the avoidance of any misunderstanding. The image above is not an original idea of mine but is a repurposing of a wonderful fanart I found on pinterest and whose artist I unfortunately could not identify with certainty. After a quick research, I may have been able to figure out that the artist is this person (twitter) but since the profile is protected, I could not get confirmation and consequently ask permission to use the art. For that reason, being me myself deeply opposed to reposting and editing other people's art, I entirely redrew it by my own hand and colored my own lineart. So please don't alert the state police, don't alarm the original artist (in case you know them...in fact, please do tell me who they actually are, if you know and have figured out which art I'm referring to), don't scream plagiarism, and do not repost (mainly because this art should not exist at all). Thanks for your cooperation.

----------------------------------

I've been thinking a lot about what to talk about today, because I was planning to talk about what I believe (and I think we all believe) to be the trauma suffered by Hifumi thanks to Honobono…but I would have risked this post being blacked out on tumblr and I would also have to be particularly careful about how to talk about such sensitive topics without hurting anyone's sensibilities, so I preferred to avoid...but I won't detach myself that much, because of course all the knots then come to a head anyway.

C'mon. You can't tell me that you don't also think that Doppo is the type to have a cigarette once in a while. I can see him smoking so well! It's something that fits him perfectly! Also, let's be honest guys. Doppo is cool in his own right (even if he doesn't realize it), but with a cigarette in his hand??? the level of sexyness increases tenfold. Let's talk about it seriously for a second. Doppo, in fact, has never been shown smoking a cigarette, but I firmly believe that he feels the need to do so from time to time. And by that I absolutely don't mean that he does it in a Samatoki-mode way (who feels the need to smoke even when in fact he doesn't feel the need at all (???) just because his body is completely ADDICTED) or in the way that a nervous person smokes a tactical cigarette during a break from work because it has a calming effect on the nerves. No, not in that sense.

Doppo is not a smoker who walks around with a pack of cigarettes in his pants pocket. Let's say that he doesn't have the habit, that's it. But I truly believe that there's a pack in the desk's drawer of his office and one in the drawer of his bedroom. A pack that sits there almost completely intact, because a cigarette is pulled out just once in a while, a pack that will probably last a couple of years lol. That's a pack of cigarettes which however can provide some relief in some particularly stressful moments. And I don't mean the usual moments when Doppo freaks out, no. I'm talking about the serious moments, the emotionally important ones. The ones in which Doppo deeply reflects on his life and wonders how to behave to make Hifumi feel safe, what to do to actually make him feel protected.

Doppo is a lone smoker. I've always pictured him that way. He doesn't smoke in company, because, as I said, he doesn't have a smoking habit. But he smokes when the sun sets or at night, when the moonlight enters between the curtains of the window, when he can't sleep because his head is full of thoughts that torment him (am I covertly-not-covertly promoting again the hifudo fic that @justanotherniky is writing? Nooooo, absolutely not).

And then yes, why not…. who said he can't have a cigarette every now and then during a moment of stress caused by work? Lol But only when he works from home. Because being seen like this by Hifumi is fine.

[princess-ibri]

Why don't you do one of your disney verse stories with princess Ivy from Sofia the First and her sister after all if you've arleady done one with the witch shuriki from Elena of Avalor which i really like by the way why not do one with the princess with power white, black after all you don't believe.

Look, I usually try to be very polite and give people the benefit of the doubt but this is getting annoying. I'd talk to you in private but your conversation seems to have disappeared from my DMs and since ignoring your many previous asks doesnt seem to have deterred you either I'll do it here.

Please stop asking me for Princess Ivy stuff. I've explained before that I'm not that interested in her, and after the last ask you sent where you said you'd "waited long enough" for me to do a backstory on her I have no interest at all in ever doing one.

I do these things for fun. I'm not getting paid, I'm not beholden to anybody to do anything. If I answer an ask its because I feel like it, if I do a backstory or any art it's because I'm actually interested in it, if I dont answer an ask it's because I don't have an obligation to if I find the contents demanding or uninteresting or simply using my blog to promote their own ideas with no real interest or tie in to my works here.

This is something that sadly seems to be happening more frequently. Guys, I dont mind seeing your own stuff or answering questions on topics, but like, use your own blogs to promote your original ideas, not mine, its only polite.

If all you really want is someone to echo back exactly the take on a character or headcanon you have, that's not what I'm here for. I can't mind read what you want me to say and I'm not going to just randomly add in things you think I should to a project I'm doing for fun and don't expect anyone else to be beholden to head canon wise.

It feels like most of the asks I get aren't from anyone actually interested in the stories I've been crafting here or even people interested in discussing Disney stuff as an actual discussion of two people who enjoy Disney characters and history but people who just want a random person to echo chamber them for a hot sec so they can feel good about their own thoughts and never interact more than that.

In conclusion, I will draw what I want to draw and I'll do it when I want to do it. This blog is ultimately for me, the artist and writer, to have fun with. Unless you're wanting to commission me to do something I don't have any obligation to draw anything for anyone, and even then I still reserve the right to say no if I want to.

Sorry about the rant to everyone who has been wonderful and supportive and actually interested. Thank you for being a positive motivator and good tumblr neighbors.

[mangotarot]

Community-building Tag Game

Tagged by: @teaboot (thanks so much!)

Name: Call me Mango!

Pronouns: he/him

Where do you call home?

Pacific Northwest Baybeeeeee

Favorite animal: I'm gonna do this one by category

- Bugs: Moths, Atlas Moth most favorite

- Rodents: rats!! Cute fur beans

- Dogs: I love Pitties

- Cats: Orange tabby, and tortoise shells

- large mammal: Bear

- birds: hummingbirds (roufus specific, love em all tho)

- pet fish: goldfish

- not pet fish: coelacanth

- amphibians: axolotl!! Love the banana boys and wild type best, so cute and fun

Cereal of choice:

I like like cinnamon life, Lucky charms, and froot loops most.

Are you a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic learner?

Bit of it all, actually. I usually follow these steps:

- watch it done

- guided steps

- try on my own

- repeat as necessary

First pet:

My dad's black lab/chow mix! He helped me learn to walk haha.

Favorite scent:

This is incredibly specific but the smell of my dog's forehead. You know that thing about parents loving the smell of their baby's head, a sense of calm and dopamine releases, and everything is right with the world because of that one scent? I get that when I set my head against my dog's and I smell her head.

Do you believe in astrology?

Yes and no. Do I think there's some cool coincidences about it? Hell yeah. Do I believe that this kind of magic can be powerful? Absolutely. Will I base my beliefs about relationships, compatibility with other humans, be it romantic or platonic, on what arbitrary star they were born under? Fuck no.

How many playlists do you have on Spotify/Apple Music?

None I hate Spotify and Apple products. Got a boatload on YouTube tho.

Sharpies or highlighters?

Sharpies, all the way. I don't care for highlighters, they hurt my eyes and I spend more time thinking "God this sucks to read" than actually reading it.

A song that makes you cry:

I don't cry at songs. The last song that made me cry tho was Clare De Lune, back in 2009. I heard it playing somewhere in the woods, while it was raining, and I don't know who or what was playing it because I only heard it echoing through the trees. I was going through some shit, and it was so beautiful, it gave me peace for a second and it felt like I'd been seen for the first time in years.

A song that makes you happy:

- Our Love by Curtis Harding

- I Think I Like When It Rains by WILLIS

- Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier

- Boys by Lizzo

- I Am Steve by Hey Steve

And finally, do you write/draw/create? if so, use this as an opportunity to shamelessly (😉) promote yourself!

I do it all! My degree is in art, actually. Lately I've done most of my work when I can't sleep, but I try to do something creative every single day.

Nominations (sorry I'm anxious to tag non-mutuals so its all mutuals, you super dont have to if you dont want to btw): @kiibsterarts @peaceful-roadkill @edubenart @ anyone who'd like to!! Tag me if you see mine and do this, I'd love to see it!

[colormedepressedstudios]

When I think about the things I want to do with my life, my brain only says one word before it gets overwhelmed and freezes and sadness consumes me.

Unattainable.

I'm naturally a pretty intuitive person, so having this incredibly negative thought makes me start thinking...

Are the dreams too big?

Am I nothing more than mediocre? Or hell, less than mediocre?

Have I dreamt up a fantasy that really isn't feasible?

Is it too late for me to accomplish anything fulfilling?

How do you know when it's time to just give it up and give in? When do I stop trying to make the life I have fantasized my whole life and just live like the average American? Work multiple jobs that I hate, go home every day, be burdened by finances, get married and have a kid(s) with someone I really only tolerate, and pretend that everything is okay all while I'm crushed and completely dead on the inside.

Does true happiness actually exist or does everyone end up giving in to the "American Dream" and settle for a life they wouldn't actually choose if they had the choice?

I mean, this can't be the purpose of life right? There has to be some purpose, right? Is there? No matter how insignificant we are, I just can't imagine that this is it. Is this all we get or am I doing this all wrong?

I'm not totally naive. I don't actually believe that life can be like a fairytale and everyone gets to do the things they want all the time and they find that one person they love to do it all with. I understand that life never goes exactly as planned/envisioned and compromises are necessary. I understand in all aspects of life you have to do stuff you don't want to do. Compromises I'm good with, surprises make the ride more exciting, and bad decisions help us learn, but completely changing the big plan/dream? That I am not even remotely okay with.

How do I push through these thoughts and past the negative word that causes me to freeze? How do I make a clear, thought out plan when I keep hearing that word being repeated over and over and over again? How do I stop the suffering?

........................................................................................

I know I talk about "the life I've always wanted" a lot and never really go in to detail about it. The life I'm talking about is a life full of music and art.

I want to work in the music industry because music was (and always will be) my first true love. Most people I've met within the industry are people I want to spend my life with. I want to learn everything there is to know. The ins and outs of it all.

I want to play in a band again, play shows again, and tour. Touring (whether with my band or not) has been the number one thing on my life's list since I was old enough to know what touring is. I want to have a house that bands can stop at while on tour and have a bed, a shower, food to eat.

I want to be the one on the stage when I'm not supporting my friends and the scene around me. I think I've allowed my personal circumstances to take over for so long and beat me into the "typical" life that I'm miserable in. I have consistently put other peoples' wants, needs, and dreams ahead of mine for too many years, which has lead me to where I am now; and I've been doing that for so long that now I don't even know where to start on my own.

I think I want to work in music promotions. It's something I've always enjoyed doing; whether for my own band or my friends bands. I used to always want to be a talent scout, but from my understanding those are pretty obsolete at this point due to all the social media platforms we have now.

I want to help people with their mental health through music and art. I want to help the under-served again but on a much larger scale. I want to bring awareness and help those who struggle with mental health and addiction. I want to be surrounded by like-minded people that understand the way I see the world. I want to make a difference it people's lives.

I want to paint. I want to have the mental capacity to paint every single day again. I want to tap into those deep feelings and let them pour out to my canvas. I want to paint and heal and connect through art.

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x07 - Como La Flor

Apologies for being so late this week!! Lots of translating to do, and research. Mucho gracias to @queenrikki for reviewing this one for me!

EPISODE SUMMARY:

OLD WOUNDS — Liz (Jeanine Mason) is forced to revisit a painful part of her past when her mother Helena (guest star Bertila Damas) shows up at the diner unexpectedly. Michael (Michael Vlamis) urges Maria (Heather Hemmens) to seek help after she experiences a strange vision, and Kyle’s (Michael Trevino) attempt to get Steph (guest star Justina Adorno) to open up doesn’t go as planned. Finally, Helena’s arrival in Roswell sends Rosa spiraling. Nathan Dean and Lily Cowles also star. Barbara Brown directed the episode written by Danny Tolli & Carolina Rivera (#207). Original airdate 4/27/2020. 

DETAILS:

Max and Isobel both describing to Rosa how it feels to use (and control) your powers.

Isobel:

"Ground your intention.  Feel the current running through your body, your hands guiding it with purpose."

Max:

"Okay, draw energy from your spine…"

Arturo on Rosa:

"I heard a little mouse crying in her room this morning."

Escamoles - like Liz says in the episode, they're ant larvae. One article I found called them "the Caviar of the Mexican desert". 

Helena calls Liz "mi corazón", which means "my heart".

"Arturito, te ves bien."

Arturo, you look good.

Adding "ito" to someone's name in Spanish can both be positive or negative.  It can refer to smallness or also tenderness (like an affectionate pet name).

@tasyfa pointed out that there was a little timeline error in this scene.  Arturo says that he hasn't seen Helena in 7 years, since Jim Valenti's funeral, but last season it was established in 1x12 that Valenti died in 2014.  Also, remember the show is a year behind reality right now, so it's still 2019. So off by 2 years.

The reason for Helena's visit - transferring her ownership of the Crashdown for Liz so that Liz can sponsor Arturo's residency for citizenship. I did a lot of research trying to understand and clarify why this is.  Thanks to those who weighed in when I was struggling to find a clear answer. Eventually I reached out to Define American, the non-profit org that provides support to the show on racial and immigration related issues.  Here's the response:

The short version is that Liz has to meet minimum income requirements in order to sponsor Arturo, because she has to be able to certify that she can financially support him.  Since she's currently unemployed except for the Crashdown, transferring half of the ownership to her makes her a business partner and helps her to meet the income requirements. 

The Spanish:

"¿Cuánto quieres, Mamá?" 

How much do you want, Mama?

"She has a very thoughtful manicure."

If you don't understand, it's cool. I'm not going to explain here.  Feel free to DM me though! I won't judge, promise!!

Narrative thread about Max's nightmare/memory continues from 2x03 and 2x06.  Don't forget that 2x03 was just Isobel remembering it. Max was a hallucination. So when he brings it up here, it might be something they haven't discussed in a very long time.

The Spanish from Rosa on her red jacket:

"Eres una mujercita."

Basically translates to you're a little woman or young woman.  I assume the "cita" is supposed to be diminutive here.

"Mom is an opportunist.  If she found out she had a kid who came back from the dead she would use you to get to Anderson Cooper. And then she'd use him to promote her latest lounge singer gig."

"Isobel pays double.  Becky tax." 

A Becky, according to common colloquial use, is an annoying white woman, usually entitled and privileged.

Lead bartender quit..meaning there's a job opening at the Pony…hmm. Wonder if any of our characters need a job... 🤔

Maria's vision:

Michael drops the change

Flash to Kyle dropping his keys & bending down to pick them up.

Kyle staring into a bright light.

Maria shouting his name.

"My heart was broken.  Liz ended things and a part of me died."

Max's story to Valenti… not all THAT far off from the truth.

Note: has anyone told him about Valenti investigating him? We know Liz and Isobel were questioned.  Michael was present when Liz was questioned. Kyle knows the whole theory his mom was pursuing. And he just wanders in there like nothing happened?

"Try leading several short staffed investigations with the mayor breathing down your neck."

Another subtle reference to the mayor, including the election banners hung around town in S2 and his "anti-immigrant agenda" which was referenced in S1.

Max has been with the department since he was 18 - this is the first time we learned that.  In 2x05 we learned he was there at 21. So that timeline has now been further clarified. Which also means he was hired during Jim Valenti's time as Sheriff.

"I need eyes on you at all times now."

Definitely implies a lack of trust, or possibly still wanting to keep an eye on him for the purpose of her investigation (not a fact, just a theory).

Steph tells Kyle that she's always hanging around the hospital because she's doing admin work for her dad.

"I'm starting to feel like you're a ghost who only I can see."

"Ask them if they can see me. Or if you were just talking to a ghost." 

Note that ghosts have been a running theme this season with Rosa returning from the dead. This seems to be in line with that. Or are they subtly tying Steph to Rosa (I'm grasping at straws here, probably).

Liz leaves the safe on 3...but before she changes it is on 81. Helena leaves it on 78 after stealing the ring. Good continuity, RNM!

The whole "my mom hates cops" theme is a little confusing to me.  I mean, it makes sense given what we know about Helena. Except that she had an affair with Jim Valenti, who was… a cop. And also an addict.  Maybe it was different because they rehabbed together (just an assumption, not a fact). Or maybe the Jim experience contributed to her dislike of cops.

Liz...might be grasping at straws when she refers to police work as "something you love" to Max.  He didn't exactly seem enamoured by the job when we first met him in Season 1.

First time we learn Max and Isobel's father's name. And it is… Dave. 🤔

The Spanish Helena uses when she meets Max:

"Pero que guapo estas."

But how handsome you are.

"Cuidado Arturito."

Careful, Arturo…

Helena found Liz and Diego's wedding registry online. 

“Look there are medical reasons for non-drug-induced hallucinations - epilepsy, schizophrenia…”

“My mom has a degenerative brain disease. My grandma did too. I've always known I'd be next.”

Helena wanted to be Selena.

Which fits with Liz's lounge singer comment earlier.

And the "drunkenly singing in the car with your daughters in the backseat" fits with the story Liz and Rosa discussed in 2x02 about the car accident they got into as kids with Helena driving drunk.

Helena shows Liz her ten years sober chip, suggesting that she's been sober since Rosa died, but Rosa finds pills in Helena's car later in the episode.  Oxycodone. The same drug that Rosa used to steal from her mom as a kid (which we learned about in 2x04) and the same drug that she and Kyle discussed when he was checking her health in 2x01.

During Helena's toast to Rosa:

Preciosa = precious

Rosa Linda… still not sure personally if this is a continuity error or a pet name.  I’m inclined to go with a pet name. Throughout the whole episode Helena uses lots of pet names, nicknames, diminutives to address people. Rosa Linda may be just another version of this since Rosa's middle name was pretty well established as Helena in Season 1 between her grave, memorial pamphlet, etc.

Kyle calls attention to Steph's bandage on her arm.  She says she gave blood, but it feels like she's evading.

Also she calls him McDreamy, which is a Grey's Anatomy reference. Kyle called himself McSexy (another Grey's nickname) in 1x08 as well.

Note: I've seen some people talk about the speech about his sick friend as being about Maria, but I think he's really talking about Steph.  Or both, vaguely. He's certainly trying to get Steph to open up to him. Here's what he says:

"I just found out a friend of mine is sick. And I can't do anything to help her. And I hate feeling helpless."

Only after Steph puts her walls back up, does he gesture to Mimi's files.

The Spanish:

"Oh, ándale, gùero."

Ándale is like, go! Or let's go! Gùero we discussed earlier...basically white boy.

Por favor - please 

Rosa's art that we first saw in 2x05 now looks finished:

Isobel's graffiti "In Pod We Trust"

Both Isobel and Rosa's graffiti:

Isobel's assessment of Rosa's art

"That's a black hole. An unstoppable force of destruction. And it's getting closer. I see a girl looking into her own doom. She thinks it's inevitable, that she can't stop it, but she can. See, she created it. That means she can destroy it."

Rosa on Isobel's efforts to help her:

"You and Max, you keep talking about harnessing emotion and grounding myself, right? But I can't do that.  It is in my DNA to be screwed up. Literally. My mom's mentally ill. So, so am I. I was broken long before Noah did what he did. That's why he chose me to prey on.  That's probably why he chose you too."

Maria on her grandmother:

"When I was a child my Grandma Patty was the only adult who understood my make-believe world. Thing is, I was six.  So my favorite things about her were just illness, I guess…"

Maria on her mom:

"She was always kind of out there.  By the time I realized it was more than that, I just became obsessed with money. Wanted to be able to take care of her. I invested everything Grandma Patty left me, and I worked, scrounged.  It was about three days after my mom was finally fired from her job at the Pony, I bought the place."

Maria's blood does not contain the alien protein that Kyle found in the Pod Squad and Rosa after being in the Pod for a decade. (and yes, he actually said Pod Squad, which feels like an OG fandom victory)

"Look, there is one thing I noticed in your grandmother's file. Her insurance company is the same one that paid for my dad's cancer treatments...My dad got cancer because of an alien incident at Caulfield Prison. A fake insurance company established by Project Shepherd covered his bills."

"Okay so my grandmother got sick at the same alien prison where your mother died?"

More Spanish (there's lots of it this week).

Helena, when she gestures to the present:

"Abre tu regalo."

Open your gift.

Quinces is just slang for Quinceanera.

Just in case you're not familiar with quinceaneras (Liz's was also referenced in 1x02).

"Mija, me enseñas tus prom photos?"

Daughter, show me your prom photos.

Regarding the power outage.  Liz thought it was Max. Max thought it was Rosa. But the wire is frayed, like it was cut or chewed through. So it wasn't alien power related.  When Arturo finds the wire though, he says, "Must have been a little mouse." Which is how he referred to Rosa earlier in the episode. So the question is, does he actually think it was a mouse? Or does he think Rosa cut the wire? And if Rosa did cut the wire, then why? To distract them while she goes after her mom's car?

In the big Liz/Helena argument, Helena calls Max “a güerito cop”.  Güero means white person, similar to the more commonly used gringo.  But by adding the “ito” onto the end (like discussed before), Helena is basically diminuitizing Max.  She’s using the “smallness” above to basically imply that he’s some white nobody.

“I may not be the PTA mom who made cookies for bake sales or hosted sleepovers, but I sacrificed everything to come to this country to give you a better life.”

This is...not actually true.  Liz and Rosa are both natural born U.S. citizens, born in Roswell.  So she didn’t “come to this country” for that reason. She was already here when Liz and Rosa came into the picture.  And it’s not like she came pregnant with Rosa or anything, since Rosa is Jim Valenti’s daughter.

The ring that Helena took was ARTURO'S mother's ring.  It wasn't even Helena's family's heirloom.   

Liz and Arturo sharing flan for dessert.  At the start of the episode before Helena arrived they discussed making flan for Rosa.

Arturo admits that he always knew the truth about Rosa's heritage. (*fistpump* that's one of my headcanons coming true). 

"Rosa es mi hija, siempre y para toda la vida."

Rosa is my daughter, always and for life.

"Maybe you're right. I am playing the hero. Just like you're playing the politician's perfect arm candy.  See, I did a little digging. And your boyfriend, Dirk-- he ran for city council. It's very impressive. But there's no mention of your daughters. I'm guessing Dirk doesn't even know about Liz or Rosa.  Does he know anything about you, Helena? 'Cause it would be such a shame if he found out about a little town called Roswell."

Helena gives Max the ring, but keeps the box… maybe that's what Helena really wanted?

Huevos = eggs.  Basically, slang for balls.

"I know that face.  You uncovered a massive conspiracy."

"I checked the Caulfield drives. No sign of a Patricia DeLuca, but there was a Patricia Harris. Her maiden name. She signed up to participate in an experimental trial. Government was interested in weaponizing alien abilities. They wanted to create super soldiers. Your grandma was one of the first human subjects."

"Kind of wish I was an alien instead."

"What happened to the experiment?"

"It was a total failure. Caulfield shut it down in the '70s after people started dying. I don't understand how your grandmother got involved."

"I do. Henrietta Lacks, Tuskegee, Holmesburg.  The DeLucas aren't the first black people to be secretly experimented on."

Highly encourage you to read these if you're unfamiliar with any of these references.  It's African-American history (and really a black mark on U.S. history) that's rarely taught in schools.

Henrietta Lacks:

Tuskegee:

Holmesburg:

Reality versus Maria's flashes… great gifset by @rosaortecho on this here:

Kyle rips his jacket, staggers out to the parking lot, drops his keys, and is almost hit by a car, but Michael throws him out of the way with his powers (and Kyle still ends up injured because he lands on a glass bottle).

"Now that we know your illness is related to Caulfield we can find a cure for it."

"Maybe it's not an illness. I saw the future today, Guerin. When I first found out Grandma Patty was experimented on, I was furious.  But what if my genetic inheritance isn't just injustice? It's also actual superpowers. Saved a life today. And not just any life-- Kyle Valenti's. Tomorrow he's gonna turn around and save five more lives."

Liz and Rosa's dueling big sister act is super fascinating.  Rosa admits that she wasn't going to burn the car, and then she saw Liz crying, felt helpless, and that's when her powers went all wacky and caused it to explode.

Meanwhile, Liz has spent the whole episode trying to keep Rosa safe from Helena, and is trying to comfort her here by talking about Helena's sobriety.

But--Rosa stole Helena's pills, so she knows Helena is not sober, and she doesn't tell Liz that.  Why? To protect her.

At some point these two should probably stop keeping secrets to protect each other and start actually sharing what they know.

Kyle stitches himself up.

Steph quoted in this scene:

"I was up in the gallery contemplating American downfall thanks to progressive socialism."

"People tend to bail when things get real. I'm not into that."

Cameron's car was impounded a couple hours away.

Max is turning in his badge and gun and is turning down desk duty to search for Cam.

Isobel and Michael's discussion at the Pony:

"Do you think that Noah chose me because I was already broken?"

"I think you are the only one of us who ever keeps it together."

"I'm serious, Michael. The night that drifter attacked me, why am I the only one who started blacking out? I mean, Max literally murdered a man, but I'm the one who breaks?"

"You were traumatized. We were kids. At that age, trauma gets etched on to your soul."

"But what if it's not in my soul? What if it's in my DNA? Look, my whole life, I've played Stepford wife, because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. But...I need to understand myself now. I need to know where I'm from.  And if I don't know who my biological parents are, how am I ever gonna know who I really am?" 

"What are you saying, Iz?"

"I know that we said we shouldn't look into the past, but…"

"It keeps pulling you back. Me too. I spent my whole life thinking I'd build a ship and blast off into the ether. And then the minute I decide to leave that all behind and focus on this good thing in front of me, I'm sucked back in. Maria's family was experimented on at Caulfield. I need to find out more so I can find a cure for her illness."

Rosa takes one of her mom's pills. 😭

MUSIC:

1. Cactus Groove "This World"

2. Shelly Fairchild "Drive"

3. Mathis Hunter "Mrs. Vinegar"

4. Big Stone City "Good For Zero"

5. Big Stone City "Way Down Below"

6. Selena "Bidi Bidi Bom Bom"

7. Elizabeth Moen "Best I Can Do"

8. Wagons "Keep Coming Back"

9. AG "Where Is My Mind" (Pixies Cover)

[acerstella]

On music and American media

Tl;Dr - American media discrimination sucks and it makes me angry and sad.

This is probably the 4th or 5th article I've read in the last week that boils down to "Wow, they're amazing...especially because they're not American"

*sputters*

Why do we need a qualifier there? Because Americans think they're the absolute best and if it's not what fits in their specific niche, they're not going to care. The niche in this case, is that the song is completely in English and reminds them of American/British boy bands.

Don't get me wrong; Butter is an absolute delight and I'll probably have it playing on my music player til I die. Whatever accolades BTS gets for the piece is well-deserved and bravo to them for making such an all-round pop song that almost anyone could dig. But I've got at least 20 other songs of theirs on my listen-til-I-die playlist and aside from Dynamite, they aren't in English. This is also nothing compared to the 60-70 other artists I listen to that are not in English and multiple songs I listen to from them.

I really don't wonder so much as secretly seethe as I know it's sadly true. Had this song been at least half or fully in Korean, only their fans would be talking about it, certainly not most American media. It wouldn’t have mattered if it broke every YouTube record, did crazy good outside the US, or became part of some widely released movie soundtrack. American media does not promote those that do not cater to their supposed wants, especially "foreigners."

Actually come to think of it, they don't even promote domestic acts if they don't fit either. Case in point, Backstreet Boys didn't find American media welcome to them either at the start. They built their fan base in Europe years before the US finally gave them any airplay and even then, they weren't considered a US success until much later. American media often has to be "convinced" that things are worth their time (read: money).

Perhaps I'm a bit jaded about this. I'm saddened because American youth have been given far more tools to experience our multicultural world (far more than millennial me) and yet, due to the influence of the US media, this is either ignored or shoved away because it's "other."

Bless my parents for not restricting my what little access I had to the outside media world. I know of some parents at the time that would have mocked or threatened them if they blasted Japanese pop songs, watched subtitled / imported TV shows and spent many days researching the rest of the world while the super bowl was on or some other All-American event. Mine, while rolling their eyes occasionally at my fervent excitement about all things outside our borders, encouraged me to explore and try the new. Thanks to their moderate support, I enjoy my pop-influenced music in multiple languages without a second thought. It's art and just because you don't recognize the words, doesn't mean you can't recognize the intent, the heart of a piece.

I felt the same way during the Grammys, knowing ahead of time due to only the biggest categories getting TV time, that BTS hadn't won. I still stuck around to watch the performance but I felt the gnaw then, questioning if Dynamite hadn't been in English, would the academy even have given it a second glance? Possibly not. Not that they're an exceptional pulse on good music, as much like the Oscar's, they're a few generations behind and thus slow to recognize anything decent. But they're respected as authorities so on and on we go.

It made me think back to other artists. Celine Dion didn't make it big in the US until she began singing in English. Same with Enrique Iglesias, same with Ricky Martin, Shakira and others even though these artists already had large followings in their native countries and among speakers of their native language. The common thread was obvious and disheartening.

While understanding that radio stations have to cater to their audiences and tailor their playlists, I believe doing the first purge of anything not English (although on occasion something Spanish will slip through) robs the listeners of experiencing the greater diversity of the music world as whole. In fact, it's not even just non-English songs this applies to but even English that's not American in origin. Country music, possibly one of the more American genres out there, discriminates by generally not playing country artists from Canada and Australia until they're endorsed / promoted by an American artist!

This may be why younger people have walked away from broadcast radio and the like. They can cultivate their own playlists and with the wide open internet, they can cast a large net to find their own loves. I whole heartedly hope these international fans find what they crave that they can't find at home, like I did (and still do) and embrace it.

But I'd also like the American mainstream media to get their collective fingers out of their ears and quit treating the rest of the world with such xenophobic tendencies. We're not the best. We’ve never been, in terms of being better than anyone else. We're one country out of a couple hundred. Our cultural bias needs to be abandoned before the world abandons us.

[gammaprimesmw]

All My Worthwhile SMW Hacks - Now on GBATemp

For those who have perhaps wondered where the SMW in my screen name comes from, it comes from my long history in the Super Mario World ROM hacking scene. It's something I originally discovered all the way back in 2006. Back then, I quickly fell in love with the ability to change levels. I could make the most annoying levels of the game a bit more bearable. (Looking at you, Tubular!) Before long, I had joined Acmlm's Board and attempted to pass a collection of blatant level edits off as my first SMW hack, only to be shot down rather quickly. I briefly quit, only to start again. This time, I tried to make my own levels, only to eventually break something in my ROM. I almost gave up yet again before finally producing my first passable (at the time) hack late that year. I intended to follow that up with another hack called Super Mario Bros. 5, but ended up burning out sometime in the following summer. I then left hacking behind until late 2010. That's when what I consider my real SMW hacking journey began.

By late 2010, a lot had changed about the scene. New utilities now existed, and new custom assets could be inserted that the average user wouldn't dare to mess with in 2006. Custom music, blocks, and sprites could be inserted whether or not one knew 65c816 Assembly. Meanwhile, I was getting better at pixel art, allowing me to make my own graphics from scratch. Before long, I had decided to resurrect Super Mario Bros. 5, recreating the whole thing practically from scratch. The result would be Super Mario Bros. 5 Roborn. It wasn't easy to pull the hack off, even with new skills and tools. I'd suffer from bouts of Hacker's Block, which is like a writer's block or artist's block, but it affects the ability to create new levels. I'd also run into technical problems and the inability to find the right resources to do everything I really wanted to do. Learning to make my own custom music helped somewhat, but I would still be dependent on the ASM people to either code what I needed or fix bugs involving whatever custom code had already been inserted. Sadly, requests for custom bosses were seldom, if ever, fulfilled. This fact would eventually kill a sequel to SMB5R known as Mecha-Bowser's Revenge. I wanted custom bosses that didn't exist and lacked the patience to learn the necessary ASM skills to make them myself. After canceling that hack and honing my level design skills a bit, partially thanks to a great tutorial written by AxemJinx. I entered my first Vanilla Level Design Contest in late February of 2012. While my level didn't win or even place in the top 5, it didn't place at the bottom either. A very critical hack reviewer called XKeeper, who I remember being one of the people to lambaste my earliest attempts at SMW hacking, gave the level a 4/5 when he played it during a Twitch stream. The time was fast approaching to try for another full-length hack. I tried my best to manage my ambition with this one. I'd keep the story simple. Bowser kidnapped the Princess (again). Koopalings would be the World bosses, and the existing bosses and boss templates made custom Koopalings feasible. I decided to draw all the foregrounds and backgrounds for this project. Only one thing really posed a threat to this project: Hacker's Block. It would get so bad sometimes that I'd question the morality of ROM hacking, believing the blocks came from God/my conscience trying to stop me from promoting the "sin" of downloading ROMs. Thankfully, friends like imamelia would reassure me that it wasn't. The hack was finished just as 2012 came to a close. This is the oldest hack that I felt worthy of going on GBATemp.

It was game on from there. I'd produce several more hacks. Each one would receive mostly positive reviews. The most frequent complaint I'd receive would be that my hacks all felt the same. I was, and still will be should I return to hacking, a traditionalist hacker. I tried to make my hacks feel like official Mario games. I eschewed the typical ROM hacking practice of making something significantly harder than the base game. I'm the first person to test the levels, and I'm not the greatest at video games. Lost Levels-tier difficulty curves aren't my thing, and Kaizo definitely isn't my thing. The latter fact suited me just fine. Up until about 2015, Kaizo hacks were banned on SMWCentral. That would start changing that year. A little thing called Janked Up Mario Party (AKA JUMP) was released, and it began changing the very culture of SMWC. Kaizo hacks were now permitted, thanks to them being popular with Twitch streamers. I kept going for several more years, even as popular opinion began turning against my "safe, homogenized" hacks, and Streamer Kaizo hacks began taking over the hack database. Let's Plays and streams of my hacks became more and more sparse, and my overall motivation to hack slowly dwindled through 2019. I burned out so back early last year that, for a couple weeks, I became thoroughly convinced that ROM hacking was a sin, regardless of what people like imamelia said. That conviction would bring me to tears every time I thought about everything I had created. I was still proud of it. These hacks were still available. I could've very easily asked a staffer on SMWC to take them all down, along with all the other resources I created. Being seen as crazy, and the fact that I could never truly erase what I'd done, ultimately held me back. Eventually, I gave into temptation, popping into a friend's stream while he was streaming a hack called Return to Dinosaur Land. That night, I also had a chat with Daizo Dee Von, and he finally convinced me that I was wrong about the whole "ROM hacking is a sin" thing. I salvaged some levels from the canceled Chocolate Collection I was working on since late 2019, threw in a few contest entry levels, and built a few new levels to create a much smaller collection hack simply called "Ten." I could've been done there. That could've been my send-off to the world of SMW hacking. Then COVID-19 happened, inspiring me to start another project inspired by the various conspiracy theories surrounding the pandemic. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough inspiration and motivation to see said hack through, and it was canceled. I decided then that I was pretty much done with hacking. I'd been doing it for a decade straight. That was probably the real reason I was burning out, rather than some divine intervention. I was burned out, and SMWC's culture was no longer one that really supported my style of hacks. I was no longer the one whose hacks could generate hype in large swaths of the community. I was now known as someone who just put out a string of very similar hacks. I even wondered if a sufficiently-trained AI algorithm could make hacks like mine. Maybe that thought can go two ways. I could see it as meaning I'm more like a machine than a person when it comes to designing levels, or the hypothetical AI could be seen as passing the ROM hacking equivalent of a Turing Test.

Anyway, here are the rest of the hacks. You will need a Super NES emulator and a Super Mario World ROM to play these. I can't tell you where to get the latter, but I can recommend using snes9x as your emulator of choice.

KAMEK'S ISLAND (2013)

MARIO & LUIGI: KOLA KINGDOM QUEST (2014-2015)

SUPER MARIO WORLD: BOWSER'S CATACLYSMIC TRAP (2014-2015)

SUPER MARIO LAND 3: TATANGA'S RETURN (2015-2016)

MARIO IS MISSING DONE RIGHT (2016)

SUPER MARIO BROS: THE EARLY YEARS (2016-2017)

SUPER LUIGI LAND (2017-2019)

SHORT BUT SWEET This is a collection of 4 mini-hacks I made during this time. These were usually side projects I did to keep my skills sharp and still do some hacking without burning myself out on the larger projects. Often, these would incorporate levels I had made for various hacking contests. One of them, Oiram's Invasion, is actually a contest entry itself, created for the 2013 12 Days Before Christmas contest. It's my highest-ranking contest entry on the site, having made it all the way to 3rd Place.

[connorandersons-blog]

"Wait… you were invited to what?" Connor asked, trying to process exactly what Markus had told him.

"Well, I wasn't given genitals for nothing, and Carl taught a few classes. I don't mind, it's actually kind of funny to think about now."

"You mean to tell me, there will be 32 paintings of you–"

"Naked, yes. But they are donating half of the money to us, so really, I don't mind."

"I can't believe this is happening. Why did you never tell me?"

"I never thought about it. They were just students doing what all art students did. I wasn't uncomfortable and it made some of them more comfortable knowing I'm an android."

"Markus, you don't know what kind of people they are. They could all hate us!"

"Oh I doubt that. They were all very polite and treated as they would any other model. I could just stand there longer."

"I still can't believe this. And you want me to come?"

"Yeah, but only if you want. I can understand how that could make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's fine. What style is it in?"

"Carl was a guest teacher and asked them to draw or paint in their favorite style, so it's a wide range."

"Huh. Is anyone coming?"

"No, North would just laugh her ass off, and both Simon and Josh said they'd be busy. I know it's supposed to be fairly popular, I mean, the world gets to see me nude."

"Paintings of you nude."

"Still, people are curious."

"Is that the only reason you're asking me to go with? Because it would be busy?"

"No! No, I wanted to spend more time with you. We're both so busy and I thought we could go together. Make a whole day of it, I guess. Only if you want to! I know you're busy not just here but with the whole being a detective thing."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Wonderful! Oh, how is the detective thing going? Is the Lieutenant doing alright? And his dog… Sumo, right? How's he?"

"Work is going well. Hank wants me promoted to sergeant, but Fowler doesn't want to cause unrest since it would seem unfair to the humans."

"That's bullshit, you deserve that promotion, you work hard!"

"Thank you. I don't mind never getting promoted, I'm happy as is. Hank is doing well, and I've managed to find a suitable diet that keeps him happy. Sumo is his adorable self, I've taught him a few extra tricks."

"That's amazing Connor! Teaching a dog new tricks."

"I can't tell if you mean Hank or Sumo."

"Connor!"

"What? Hey, in my defense Hank would find that funny. He wouldn't show it, but he'd be laughing on the inside."

"I'm sure. Anyway, the gallery is on the 20th, and it's a tux kind of event. I get a free ticket so you'll be my plus one and can get in free too. Do you have a suit?"

"Can I wear my Cyberlife uniform or one of my normal outfits for work?"

"I thought you burned that old thing! But no, neither of those will do. You can borrow one of mine or we can get you your own if you want."

"I'm not sure I have enough money for that. I've been saving up to find a place to stay, and trying to pay Hank back for all the components he's had to get."

"Oh, I was already planning on paying for it for you. Carl is always telling me to spoil myself a little, and he adores you so I don't think he'd mind."

"Markus… I don't want to just take your money. I'm sure one of my outfits would work, or I could just rent a tux."

"No, you're getting one. If it helps, you are repaying me by going with me so I'm not alone and bombarded with people."

"You know everyone there is gonna want you to take your clothes off so they can see if the paintings are accurate."

"Does that everyone include you?"

"Markus!"

"Sorry! Sorry, that was too easy. I will be stared at all night, but the artists will at least get some recognition and media attention. That should help their careers."

"It should. Is it just for viewing?"

"No, there are copies for sale and most are going to sell the originals in a bid. We get half of that too. So some lucky people get to hang a nude painting of me in their home."

"I do not want to think about what some might do to that image."

"Oh rA9, yeah I didn't really think of that."

"Sorry, but it'll happen. I just hope if it's the original they don't get it dirty. You know! Maybe we should buy one of each copy and decorate a hallway with it. Like those old houses that have the portraits of the family members."

"If you do that I may self-destruct."

"Aww, come on Markus! I would hate not being able to see your dick everyday. Would you really deprive me and Jericho of this?"

"Jericho? Yes. You? Well… you could also see my dick everyday if you like."

"Markus!"

Idk have this. I woke up at like 1am wrote this and fell back asleep.

Guys!!! I have a legit reason why Markus could have genitals without it seemingly like Carl/Markus was intended or that Kamski is a creep!

Carl is an artist, we sees that he can paint humans, but dude, references are the bomb.

Nude paintings. They aren't sexual and it makes even more since cause Markus is an android. He wouldn't get tired of standing in one pose for hours. We all know Carl would make sure he was comfortable anyway, but it makes sense!

So now you can give Markus genitals with a very valid reason!