#can you tell ive been in a better mood bc i'm actually feeling a lil more confident in my work lol

[samiferboy]

wip tag game!

tagged by @quietwingsinthesky for this!:

rules: tagger gives a word, then for each letter of that word you share an excerpt from your WIPs that start with that letter.

word: SEPTUM

(u really made me pick six............okay 😭)

(also doing this here bc most of what i've written lately has been spn except for my stupid fucking. westworld video)

S - something from my normal human au

"Slow your roll, tiger, geez," Gabe comments, sipping from his margarita. "I guess I shouldn't've talked about him." "Talked about who?" Jo asks, still present, looking mischievous. "Nobody," Sam says bluntly. "Nobody worth thinking about." His bitterness is palpable, practically tangible. "Mee-yow," says Gabe. He gives Sam a half-hug over his shoulder and says, "I'll leave you to it. If you wanna have fun and not think about him for a while, give me a call, hm?" Sam just grunts, and Gabe heads off back to their usual booth. Jo watches him leave. "He hits on you a lot. I'm guessing he's not the one you're getting drunk about." "I don't want to talk about it," Sam mutters.

E - from my "the cage is a malevolent hungry entity" fic (god it needs so much editing if im gonna do anything with it WAUGH)

"Everyone always made me feel like…something was wrong with me. And there was.” And it was your fault, he added silently  “I did see that in your memories. I'm sorry, Sam.” He actually sounded sympathetic. “My attempts to intervene were attempts for you to think being special is good. I always wanted you to know how wonderful you are. I never wanted you to feel bad about what made you stand out.” Sam laughed humorlessly. “So you wanted me to be alone thinking about how great I was instead of being alone thinking there was something wrong with me? You really don't understand us at all.” “I don't,” Lucifer agreed. “I should have been more careful. But, in my defense, I delegated those tasks to demons, and we both know they are not reliable.” “Do you care at all that it made my life miserable?” Lucifer stopped and looked at Sam, meeting his gaze. There was actually some quiet shame there, some embarrassment. “What do you think?” he asked.

P - from this like. sexy angel healing fic idk what to do with

“Put me d -” Before Sam can finish his demand, he's pulled into a discombobulating darkness for a few sluggish heartbeats, and then lurches back into light. A different ceiling swims before him as his head lolls back, caught by Lucifer's arm. He's set down into a bed and pain makes him curl to his left, but another ragged gasp rips free from his throat and his heart surges again, his head swimming, adrenaline flooding his body. He feels weight next to him. “It's alright. It'll be alright,” Lucifer says, soothing words that just sound wrong in his voice, as he touches Sam's arm. Immediately, the sore muscle recovers and his arm jerks in response. But only that limb was fixed, and the rest of his body is still in excruciating pain. Lucifer rolls him onto his back and he exhales in a harsh whoosh past his teeth. Lucifer touches the gashes in his stomach and they stop bleeding, then begin to knit together, one source of pain finally fading. “There you go,” Lucifer murmurs, so eerily calm. He would be less terrifying if he wasn't so soft-spoken. “I hate how you…put yourself at risk like this. How you try to put yourself back together…I don't want to have to drag you down from heaven, Sam. Too many bad memories.”

T - more stuff from the hungry cage fic

Then, Lucifer asked the worst possible question. “What happened to you?” You happened to me, Sam wanted to scream, he wanted to pummel Lucifer into a pulp, he wanted to bury himself under blankets like he did when he was a scared child, he wanted these memories out of his head and the glow out of his chest, he wanted to die. Sam inhaled and exhaled, shuddering. He could go into details. He could tell Lucifer how he’d worn Dean’s and John’s and Mary’s faces to tell him how much they hated and pitied and were disgusted by him, that everyone he ever cared about was a demon, that he was always doomed because he deserved it because everything about him was wrong. He could describe the visions he saw of Dean dying and being unable to save him, getting torn apart by hellhounds again and again and again, Dean nearly killing himself to get Sam back, their dad being tortured in hell, Jess dying over and over and over again while she screamed for help, screamed for him, and nobody came. He could talk about the chains, the whips, the meat hooks, the knives, the needles, the fire, the frostbite, his bones breaking and his skin peeling off and his eyeballs melting and his blood boiling in his veins, all the while Lucifer either used the weapons on him or watched gleefully as the cage did it for him. “You hurt me,” was all he said.

U - another thing from my normal human au

"Uh, if a guy who I told to stay away from you ends up on our couch, I'm gonna make a big deal out of it," Dean retorts. "Well, maybe y - wait. You told him to stay away from me?" Sam asks in disbelief. "When?" "I dunno, a while ago. Months ago." Suspicion raises the hair on the back of Sam's neck. "How many months ago?" "I dunno, six? What's with the interrogation?" Sam doesn't respond, just pulls a pair of sweatpants on and heads out to the living room, where Luke is sitting on the couch, hair disheveled and drinking day-old water. "Did you agree to leave me alone because Dean told you to?" Sam demands. Luke sits up straight and blinks owlishly at him. "What?"

M - from some exploratory angel communication stuff

"Maybe you can help me figure out how to say it in a way he’ll understand.” “Alright,” Cas agrees reluctantly. “Give it a try.” Lucifer meets his eyes and Cas’ mind erupts. The sheer power of Lucifer’s emotions hit Cas like a meteor. His mind is an explosion of colors and sounds. He feels Lucifer’s excruciating pain, his fierce longing, everything shattering and bursting and reconstituting only to shatter again. Lucifer was created and undone over and over and over again for an eternity. But then, a light: a way out. A boy - Cas recognizes a younger Sam, looking distraught. Lucifer’s yearning washes into a kind of determination which then dissolves into impatience tempered by more of that pain. It’s always there, underneath everything else, pain is constant, everlasting. Then Lucifer is free. He soars above the earth and revels in his freedom, but he still thinks only of Sam, now a grown man, that yearning crystallizing and solidifying. He needs Sam, wants to hold him and have him and keep him close, keep them together, two entities sharing a body, sharing everything. He sees Sam’s pain, feels it, and he wants to pull it out so he never has to hurt ever again. So they can be happy. It’s thick, hot, swirling like a tornado, this want, this need, this deep unknowable affection for Sam that no disgusted or terrified or furious look could alter.  Cas has felt love - familial love for his brothers, a burgeoning reluctant fondness for the Winchesters, a general love of humanity as his Father decried - but he has not felt love the way Lucifer loves. Explosive, vicious, all-encompassing, possessive, victorious. And now Cas understands Lucifer’s conundrum - how on Earth was he going to explain this to Sam in a way that didn’t disturb him?

thanks for tagging me! man i haven't touched a lot of these in a hot minute lmao. SCHOOL. idk if any of my other mutuals write fics but if you do you should do this and tag me so i can read them! <3 my word for anybody reading this is GRIEF

[kkukkung]

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...