#can we talk about how they're dynamic is literally to death do us part

[danwhobrowses]

I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.

What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.

For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.

While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.

I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.

Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.

Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.

And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.

[trafficblr-confessions]

I'm sorry I just can't keep it in anymore, I need release - people need to Shut Up about the content creators and their personal dynamics.

A comment on one of the Takeout Trio/Skranchers vods (Jimmy's vod to be specific) was complaining about how they're so refreshed seeing him playing with people that are "actually nice" to him and how they're sick of all the picking on him and it just.. Jesus christ, butt out? Jimmy is a 27 year old man. He has known his friends for years and doesn't need any of us policing him on who he spends time with or how he spends time with them!

I get it, I really do: I love Jimmy and I love seeing how he's improved and am happy to see him keep going! That moment during the Hermit x Empires crossover when everyone kept saying the best parts of Tumble Town were the pranks genuinely made me feel a bit sick in my stomach because it's just really tough.. but I just click off. Because I know that we see a very limited portion of the interactions between these people in real life. Because I know that if anyone was genuinely uncomfortable about something, it wouldn't really be our business and that the CCs can talk to each other about it off camera.

Beyond that, I love seeing what the fandom does with it! I love seeing the angst, I love seeing the hurt/comfort, the hurt/no comfort.. but then people make it about the CCs or they completely mischaracterize the characters and it's just so-- disheartening.

This happens with a lot of CCs and Characters, but I'm more specifically thinking about Jimmy and Joel (mostly because they're who I watch a lot and I love these silly guys) and how everyone seems to think that nothing but malice stands between them and it's so? Telling? Of how many perspectives they get?

If you just watch Jimmy's or any-outside-the-dynamic povs you might think Joel is Just mean to him,, but like,, good GODS these MEN make me INSANE. First of all, all forms of Joel express their love via pranks and tomfoolery and whatnot. Have you HEARD some of his intros? How he talks about himself between player Joel and editor Joel?? He is mean, yes, but it's GENUINELY like a love language for that man I swear. Jesus christ. What is his deal. Additionally, anytime he visited Tumble Town to prank Jimmy, he almost always ends up complimenting the buildings and how far Jimmy has come and Oh My God this MAN.

Fuck this, this confession is turning into a Joel fan rant. I love Joel. All my homies love Joel. That silly man is an ogre with LAYERS. He has loyalty, but where it lies is less within session to session and more season to season. He can be careless, but it doesn't mean he doesn't Care. There's so many moments in so many series and it's just YAHAGEGEH. Mans is SO... GRGRGGRGRGRGGAAAAAAGH.

One of his intros was literally addressing the fans with "You're all stupid, I love you." completely deadpan. LET THIS MAN. LET THIS MAN OKAY. LET THIS MAN.

"Am I socially awkward?" YES. YES YOU ARE. YES HE IS. HE IS SO FUNKY AND HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS HE IS JUST AWKWARD AND SILLY. I DONT NEED TO BE COHERENT JUST WATCH HIS VIDEOS AMD YOU'LL KNOW.

Also I can't find the post or remember who posted it, but know that whoever the person is that said something about how in every universe and every life Joel recognizes and loves his wife and then there's just his death game assigned soulmate Etho, know that I love you.

End of confession or I won't shut up.

.

[my-cabbages-gorl]

fave zukaang moment from the show? or top 3?

WOOO I am so sorry it took me forever to get to this, veggie!!!! but hiii thank you for this ask I will take any excuse I can get to talk about these two.

There are SO many haunting, gorgeous moments of connection between these two in the show I could choose! There are the obvious ones; fighting to protect each other's lives in the Blue Spirit episode, the "do you think we could have been friends?" moment, all the times Aang chose to spare Zuko's life, or when Zuko begs Aang to let him join their group and says "you know I have good in me" (that one is.. just ouch it's so gut-wrenching). But, I live for the moments when their irrevocable entanglement gets hit with a spotlight.

There are so many little scenes throughout the show that highlight how they are fated to be in relationship with one another. They're circling each other like Tui and La. Whether people ship them or not, their platonic relationship is arguably the core of the show. In the Seige of the North, Part 2- I think it's so symbolic that Koh the face stealer delivers his monologue about the moon and ocean spirit while in the real world, Aang (the incarnation of hope and good) is literally in bondage as Zuko (the physical manifestation of the war between good and evil) is choosing evil and risking the fate of the whole world just to save whatever shred of his own ego he has left.

When Aang asks about the moon and ocean spirits, Koh says: "Their spirit names are Tui and La, push and pull. And that has been the nature of their relationship for all time." Then later in the conversation he continues, "Tui and La, your moon and ocean, have always circled each other in an eternal dance. They balance each other, push and pull, life and death, good and evil, yin and yang." The fact that Zhao is attempting to capture and kill the moon spirit in order to make a name for himself, the same way that Zuko tries to kidnap Aang to deliver him to death (or at least torture and captivity) at the hands of his father to try and make a name for himself is a really nice parallel for what's being explored in their dynamic. It feels so clear (at least to me) that Aang and Zuko are a spiritual metaphor for this eternal dance- their past lives and ancestors disrupted the balance of harmony because of their broken relationship. And, now they're circling one another, mirroring one another, chasing one another in order to redeem the arc of their history- which the future of the world has always depended on. And, only when they enter into balance and harmony with one another will there be any hope for righting the world. That was SUCH a long winded way to talk about one of my favorite moments lol. And, I get that it might be a stretch but I live for the deep, convoluted metaphors of story. And Zukaang has plentyyyy of content for that sort of thing. Which is probably why I can never get over them hahaha. Honorable mention: in the final battle when Aang, the "enemy" that Ozai and his predecessors fought so hard to eradicate, spares Ozai's life when he redirects his lightning. It's so symbolic because he's using the technique that his OWN son- whom he abused and betrayed for choosing to nurture the shred of good in him- had a hand in bringing him down in the way that embodies the ultimate, humiliating antithesis to his character; 1) deep relationship and intimacy with the Avatar (the personification of good and hope) and 2) mercy.

[localvoidcat]

you should tell us about the character misinterpretation...

i was just thinking about. how so many character portrayals surrounding the characters in this series tend to veer towards family dynamics or extremely close friends that would do anything for each other. and im gonna go into both of these. and also the view of characters being seen as girlbosses and all that but thats been talked about a lot so ill be short with that. im putting this under the cut because its just me ranting LMAO. none of these are directed at anyone since i think most of my mutuals seem to get it but this is just in general

im gonna give a disclaimer that theres a very good chance i could be wrong about these, this is mainly based on my own view of some of the character themes/dynamics and how they're framed in-story, i haven't gone back and reviewed canon sufficently enough to be correct on this. with that said i need to be a hater for a bit 👍

i think the family thing. just does not make a lot of sense to me when it comes to like 80% of the dynamics i've seen. literally the ONLY one i understand is thatcher and adam because like. obviously an older character calling a younger character "kid" and helping them out and all that would lead to those characters being seen as having a mentor/trainee or father/son dynamic. i get that. that makes sense ALTHOUGH i will say that i don't think it's quite as simple as that but i wouldn't even know how to explain

but a lot of the time when it comes to other characters. i do not understand how they could be seen as a family dynamic with the knowledge we have of the characters now. like sarah being seen as an older sister figure to bps (which. does not make sense considering she's younger than at least one of them) or like. the mandelatech employees being seen as having any kind of family dynamic (that one just. does not make any sense to me. i feel like the only reason for that is because it's, again, an older character and a younger character that hang out but i cannot see them as uncle/niece or whatever else they are. those are coworkers to me but maybe that's just my view). there's also the idea of the remaining four survivors being seen as a general family thing and i cannot wrap my head around that at all. it makes sense for thatcher and adam as i said in the previous paragraph but it doesn't make sense for characters like sarah or evelin i cannot understand that in the slightest. again this may just be my own personal view

and then the thing with a lot of characters being close friends. this one i can kind of understand because obviously when characters are canonically friends you want to view them as being good friends. which makes sense in a lot of other things but i think with tmc in particular. a recurring theme (outside of characters like sarah and evelin or thatcher and ruth. both of those seem to be character duos that don't have issues in their relationship) is that a lot of these friendships are not good for one or both parties, whether that's a realized thing or not. again, i get how it's a lot more fun to see them as being close but i feel like viewing them as strictly close friends that only have good views on each other or as characters that would really care much about another's death in a very impactful way is kind of undermining the whole point in a lot of these dynamics.

tl;dr: while it's fun to imagine characters as having a family dynamic or as even just having a healthy friendship, as is mainly prevalent in fanon, i don't think that can be applied to canon without ignoring parts of a character/their reactions to things and their story.

final thing i'm going to touch on is something that has been talked about in SEVERAL fandoms by people that could articulate it way better than more. but i personally have a very strong vendetta about immediately labeling a female character as a girlboss or anything like that and not establishing their character beyond that. ESPECIALLY when it doesn't even line up with the character as a whole. most of the time it just feels like a binary where a girl character HAS to be labeled as a girlboss or a girlfailure or whatever other label there is regardless of whether or not they actually fit that. it's understandable to lightly joke about that (like evelin being referred to as the latter. in that case it makes sense to use that in reference to her but using that as the only defining part of her character limits her to that) but when it's used as the ONLY way those characters can be described it just becomes annoying to an extent

even for characters like ruth who we don't know a lot about, there's more to her than just. i don't know. being the singular braincell (which tends to be the view of female characters when it comes to one girl in a group of guys. which i cannot stand) or being the girlboss or being the strong one of the three and nothing else.

for the last paragraph i will admit that the majority of my talking about ruth tends to revolve around her dynamic with her friends, but there's absolutely more to her character outside of that or just being the dead character (even though her death absolutely serves as a driving factor for thatcher's character arc and other things). she does not exist solely for that group dynamic or just to be the dead character she has more depth outside of that and she has so much more depth than just being labeled as a "girlboss" and nothing else.

anyways. this was mainly just me going on a rant towards the end but i just needed to verbalize these thoughts before i exploded nothing i say is canon or the interpretation everyone else has to have this is me yelling into the void. okay goodbye 👍

[symphonyofsilence]

It never ceases to baffle me how the fandom can use a certain logic to achieve one desired conclusion (see: MXTX wouldn't make an openly gay character in a homophobic world a harasser, so MXY hasn't actually harassed JGY) even if it goes against the text itself (MXY admitting in his diaries that he has harassed fellow Jin disciples) while the same logic doesn't work for them the other way around in the favor of the character they don't like (while MXTX would not do the aforementioned case, she would, however, make the character that is the son of a sex worker, and continuously discriminated against, considered dirty, belittled and ridiculed for it throughout the story a groomer who led a teenager MXY on so he could later accuse him of harassment) while this too, goes against the text (again, MXY admitting he has harassed someone in his diaries (he might have very well mentioned Jiggy in his diaries but not as Jin Guangyao, or Lianfang-Zun, Sect leader, or Xiandu or anything that WWX would know. but with the name MXY would call his older brother. maybe "ge" or something. then, if he had mentioned him in an inappropriate way, WWX wouldn't have made the connection that MXY was talking about his real brother), the text offering nothing to prove the contrary, JGY most likely wanting to avoid any rumors that would relate him to incest, the text going out of its way to give us info about JGY's nonexistent sex life in 3 different occasions, even though we had no business knowing about it, the first mention being literally in his introduction, when it's said that he's known for being extremely loyal to his wife, unlike other men in his position (showing us that he's traumatized by his father's behavior and would never repeat it), then at the Guanyin temple when he says that he's never touched QS after finding out the truth (if he's loyal to Qin Su, and hasn't touched QS for more than a decade, then by now he's essentially reset to factory settings and is a virgin again), then when his mother is offended again and Xue Yang offers that he should fuck the offenders' moms and JGY says that he's not in such habits and Xue Yang confirms that yes, that's not JGY's ways. Even when they're being openly villainous and have nothing to hide from each other. and I don't think it would be too much of a reach to think that a teenager in a brothel who looks notably like his mom and would be considered a "pretty boy" in ancient times with no child services would not be a stranger to nasty looks from grown men and thus would have trauma related to grooming.)

of course, the logic is flawed in general. Because MXY has allegedly committed harassment in one form or another and JGY did force a group of sex workers to rape his father to death, and then to continue even after his death, and then killed them all. Because the cycle of violence is one of the recurring themes in the book. And is broken by only a handful of characters, and even then in some of their cases not in all aspects.

And I won't even open the can of worms that is the Yunmeng Shuangjie. (because apparently, JC is toxic and bad for WWX even pre-time-skip because...he jokes around with his brother?...but WWX is not toxic and bad for JC when he jokes around with his brother? (this has a simple reason, and that is that nobody is toxic and bad for someone else due to joking around in a harmless way, especially among siblings.) And JC and WWX have a toxic relationship and can only break up because JC just keeps nagging WWX, while WWX causing trouble for JC & their sect every second of the day because he does whatever he wants and says whatever he wants in front of whoever he wants is not stressful for JC. (again, The Yunmeng bros themselves enjoy this dynamic. Or at least think the other parts of their relationship is worth putting up with these annoyances. WWX annoys JC every chance he gets and actively kickstarts JC's naggings. JC's life is dull and dark and boring without WWX's shenanigans and the dramas he causes. He himself thinks that having WWX in his life is worth the trouble. JC makes WWX more responsible, while WWX makes JC more carefree. they're good for each other.)

So as we saw, usually, when a certain logic doesn't work both ways it's because it's flawed. make sure to not use a certain logic in your determination to defend a character that should technically work for the character you hate, too.

[iamacolor]

At the end of the day this was an epic love story and I genuinely believed that these two people would and did do anything for each other however I still felt the show focused a lot more on sunjae being in love/romantic than sol, they gave him all the clinginess (that's not a word lol)/whipped "looser" in love behavior , all the sweeping romantic speeches and declarations (just in the last 2 eps he had at least 3 and we didn't get that from Sol) and I wanted more of that more Sol because sometimes it felt like it was 80% more focused on what he was doing in that regard. Their actions were offset by each other, she traveled time to save him and he loved her for decades and died for her multiple times but otherwise I wanted her to talk about her time spanning epic love for him like he did, I wanted her to be as clingy as him and as prone to dramatics sometimes when it came to their relationship, I wanted them to give her as much as they gave him.

hi anon! that's a really good point actually and i do think some of it is in part due to this specific story (which i liked) but some of it is also due to the genre (romance/kdrama) that has its limitation in how it portrays the dynamics between men and women and often has this imbalance between the leads (that often annoys me).

kdramas often tend to portray men as more proactive in their declaration while the women (who are often supposed to be more emotional because well...they're women :))) ) are reacting to these declarations or grand gestures - it might be because romance as a genre still mostly cater to a female audience and they're trying to make it "dreamier" for the women by having men saying swoony lines etc (which is a shame because as a viewer i love seeing a woman actively in love, loud about it and proactive, it's fun, it's touching. I support women being stupid in love. and being in love isn't just about having someone tell you romantic stuffs and kiss you in the rain it's also about feeling in love and getting to share that and to love someone anyway i'm getting sidetracked) and it might also be because a lot of the times women are "used" as a plot tool to chanel a man's journey and emotions. (same with "skinship" for which a similar dynamic is mixed with how korea seems to value a certain idea of modesty for women and how most of the time the man is the one initiating it no matter who fell first and the women tend to shy away from it in a lot of dramas and don't really get to show that they're excited about it...).

in regard to that i felt that lovely runner kind of was a nice change because although you can see these patterns of writing and storytelling in it like you said and how sunjae is definitely written to be dreamy and make people go "omg what an ideal bf who wouldn't want a man who's so devoted and so overwhelmed by his feelings he acts stupid", sol gets to be a very romantic lead with her own version of several grand gestures, her own sacrifice for the good of the man she loves, her love for him is driving the plot, she defends him from bullies directly and killers more indirectly, she has much more agency than a lot of female leads from the beginning to the end (a lot of the time the female lead's storyline just gets sidetracked or forgotten around ep12 lol), she literally writes an entire movie about him and once she's free from the fear of driving sunjae to his death she is actually much more like him in her behaviour (and also more proactive with physical touches!!). and the moments when sol is like that are some of my faves! i was watching ep16 like omg i love this sol so much why didn't we get more and well the answer is because before she thought if she did something as simple as talk to him he'd die so that kind of dampens the mood.

but then i would say there is an imbalance inherent to this very specific story that i don't mind since it makes up for more angst - and i love that - because a) sol was just his fan at first so it took a while for her to even get in that mindset while he was already crushing on her hard - like when he tried to confess when inhyuk threw the petals and she was like ok maybe we can't be fan and athlete anymore but we can be friends! because in her mind she was thinking about how to stay close to him so she could save him for sure while he was like sol please be my gf b) and then sol was never free from the burden of what she saw as her duty (ie. saving him) the whole time they interacted until ep16 and so she never could let herself be too clingy (clinginess is a word i think btw and if it's not it should be!) or super romantic (although she did allow herself some very cheesy puns) because most of the time she was either trying to make big changes in his life or trying to stay away from him as much as possible and so she had to show restraint constantly (and that's actually a very common trait in a male character in romance - not just kdramas but also like romance novels which i read a lot of lol - they're always like no i have to stay away because i could bring danger to my loved one, because i have a dark past or i'm not good enough for them, too dangerous or tainted to say i love you and to shackle them to me and my fate etc gosh life is so hard when you're a romance lead) while sunjae was literally just a guy standing in front of a girl he liked and trying to make it happen most of the time, he didn't really see anything else at stake lol and even once he did you could tell he was just a 19 yo trying to cheer his girlfriend up knowing she's also trying to save him and he kind of walks into his big gesture without really planning it.

and that to me is what truly created this imbalance because she did her sacrifice but unlike his that was very visible (he literally got stabbed in front of her and still made sure to not let go until she was safe) her own sacrifice was to make sure he never saw her (which obviously plays into the less proactive type of representation because her grand gesture is to walk away but also that makes it all so tragic because she choses to endure her pain knowing it's going to last rather than risk death which stops everything ). And all of that meant also she could only say she liked him - either "too late" (but thankfully not really because he still liked her) when they were already adults or "before it's too late" when she prepares to say goodbye to him at the seaside and she doesn't want him to feel too entangled with her, she doesn't want him to be too sad this time - or when she made speeches about her love for him, how big and strong it was, how steadfast she stood in her desire to see him safe before anything else, how much she loved him...(and especially in those last 2 eps - and to me that cound as declarations) but she had to say them indirectly by pretending she was either talking about her character or someone else because she couldn't tell the truth directly to sunjae. so technically sunjae heard her say (and also read her) that she loves him very much, that she's ready to sacrifice her own hapiness for his live etc but it was all retroactively which is quite bittersweet. i do wish we could've had her say these things directly to him but at the same time i understand that once he remembers everything and understands she was talking about him and they can finally be together, they prefer to focus on their future rather than on their multiple pasts.

also i like that by the end they both waited so many years before reuniting - because when it was just sunjae who had done the yearning from afar and who still had feelings it made him stand out in a way because wow look at the sheer size of his feelings no wonder he gets a little stupid when she comes back into his life and clearly he's the big romantic once between them. and now they both did the waiting, the yearning, the let me sacrifice my life (or at least life as we know it) for you, the "omg what do i do now that they're back!!!!" and that kind of eases the differences between them.

all this to say i mostly agree but also if it brings more romantic angst i quite like it dghjdfgqsjk

[davishater]

Random things I noticed in chapter 108:

1) Ok, so putting my Hutter and Chelsea ship off to the side for only one post, I really enjoy Hutter's reaction to her death for many reasons (mainly the ship reasons).

For comparison, let me explain that, when Hutter first discovers Yudi's death, he just screams her name and looks shocked, maybe with a little bit of fear. Alyssa actually goes and faints from finding Yudi.

When everyone finds Chelsea is dead, Hutter is looking MORTIFIED. Then he falls to his knees, screaming and blaming himself. These reactions just really show who cared a lot about each person and I love that so much!

2) Night is honestly such a respectable king for this!

Hutter's like, bro you look excited and Night's just over here apologizing for it! And it's so sincere, too! I was expecting him to be like, "Well duh, we got an interesting case on our hands." Like a snooty rich brat, but no, he actually apologizes for how his excitement looks! This shows that Night fully understands that Hutter is upset and is willing to take how he feels into consideration (Also, they keep being shown together and I enjoy that. I feel like they would have a really good friend dynamic, if they don't already).

3) ok, so hitch hiking to the other side of London, we got Winter and Spitz together. Not gonna lie, I really love seeing them interact, but I HATE how worthless Spitz is right now. Winter could seriously do so much all on his own without anyone's help. I mean, he found Spitz all by himself! There's almost 9 million people who live in London and Winter found him uncoincidentally! He was on the right track, too! If Ron and Toto aren't with Spitz, then he can use Spitz to track down the other two. Too bad Spitz can't even do that right 🙄 (Guys, I'm sorry, I've had a love/hate relationship with Spitz throughout the entire series).

3.5) I know this panel isn't in chapter 108, but I just imagine Winter saying the "How carefree..." part with literally no emotion and in the context of mocking and I love it so much, like I literally can't get enough of that one line replaying in my head!!! Also, is it just me, or do these lines seem very proper and.... idk, like Winter is honestly trying to be nice??? Winter seemed to stay in that kind of manner until Spitz gave him attitude and said, "you're in the Moriarty family!" and he replied with "Don't look down on me."

Idk, maybe I'm just speculating too much.

4) I love how Winter finally gave us the name of his brothers! And like, why is he just sharing this information with Spitz? It seems kind of random, but at the same time, not. Almost like he's unconsciously reminiscing about his family. 🤔

He and Spitz also say they're all Milo's siblings, not Winter's. Like, it really gives that affect that he really did leave the Moriarty family and I think that's kinda cool.

5) WAIT A DIGIDY DARN SECOND!!!!! Winter looks down a lot whenever he talks about his family.... 👀👀👀👀👀 (I'd show, but I'm at a picture limit)

6) ok, I just had to show this one last, cause it's the funniest one and it took me almost 10 hours to realize.

Spitz literally just helped Winter commit a crime!!! Winter impersonated an important public figure right in front of a police officer and Spitz didn't even rat Winter out! Yo, Spitz is an accomplish and he's just chillin'!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Masterlist

[hellisanhonourstudent]

First of all,you need to listen to this song - it slaps(Femme Fatale,by the Exit Eden group).

Second of all,listening to this and repeating it 134! times reminded me of Light Yagami - His relationship with Kiyomi Takada,to be more precise. Outside of the obvious fact that the music speaks about a dangerously seductive woman and a man as her victim,it describes very well how Takada got used then killed. (Alternatively:stupidsexpotflanders connected the two dots. She didn't connect shit. She connected the two dots.)

Twilight zone in the dead of night Sends a shiver down your spine Lips like blood and the look of love She's the master of divine "Back away for you will get burned" Yells the voice inside your mind But you refuse to see the signs

This part is already pretty telling. I'm kind of reaching here,but the first and second verses of this strophe(?) can be linked to the beginning of the relationship. Light getting back to Takada's life after those years is kinda weird,but not inherently suspicious. On the other hand,verses 3 and 4 are perfect describers of this dynamic(disregarding gender stuff,of course). "Lips like blood" talks about red lipstick,but it can also be about malicious persuasion(and,as you'll see later,the music does mention it) - a major weapon of Light's throughout the manga. "The look of love" is also present in this arc,and Light acts like the clever sweetheart with a sense of humor. "She's the master of divine" is clearly about Kira. It's knowing Light is Kira that makes Takada lower her guard in a way she definitely shouldn't. The last verses talk about how Takada had reasonable doubts about Light,but ignored her intuition. Just like it happened with the guy from the song. Bonus point:Takada got literally burned.

Like a moth you are mesmerized Flying spineless to the light Lost control feeling insecure The affection drives you wild Vulnerable you are led by her To surrender without a fight The sweet temptation is your guide

Look,an opportunity for a dumb pun! The first two verses from this stanza/strophe(?) describe quite accurately what happened in the manga,IMO. When Light told Takada he was Kira,she mentioned how he was "the only man she admired" and "all of it was too wonderful for words". Any suspiscion she might have about him is ignored because he's "the god of the new world" and she might be "his goddess". The other verses are more of an emphasis to his/her precarious situation,and to how the woman/Light took down his/her defenses.

She's a femme fatale Hypnotizes with her spell Armed with seduction and affinity She's a femme fatale Like an angel sent from hell When she rejects you with serenity She's a femme A femme fatale

Onto the chorus. Light is a Femme Fatale,and gender isn't a factor in my opinion - I'm talking about the classical archetype,where a woman with a dark agenda seduces,manipulates and ruins a poor shmuck. His "spell" is fairly mundane - during his monologues,we see him planning on how to "build a relationship with Takada in order to be able to control her". The fifth verse is perfect for Death Note's general Christian aesthetic,but I really don't see him as a Satanic Archetype. "When s/he rejects you with serenity"... When Takada got compromised,Light gave her a painful death by fire - "rejection" is the euphemism of the century,lol.

Just one touch and you lost your heart With devotion in her arms In those eyes you see innocence Never meaning to do harm Taste the lips, they are bitter sweet Drink the poison blind from love Intoxicated by her charm

As I said before,he's very gentle to her. However,said gentleness is tainted with ill intent and cruelty. Light takes Takada on his arms after promising he'll make her His Goddess(is this how they're calling it now?). In another one of their dates,Light asked her to be Kira,and Takada was taken aback enough to not being able to stand up. To keep her from falling down,he grabs her. To top it all,Light and Takada have those "meaningful looks". The guy is poisonous.

Pardonne-moi mes offenses Comme je pardon aussi À ceux qui m' ont offensés Et ne me laisse pas entrer en tentation Mais délivre-moi du mal

The Lord's Prayer in French(or at least a part of it). Christian stuff just for aesthetics is a trademark of the Death Note Manga. It doesn't go much deeper than simply "Rule of Cool",tho.

She's a femme fatale Hypnotizes with her spell Armed with seduction and affinity She's a femme fatale Like an angel sent from hell When she rejects you with serenity She's a femme A femme fatale

And I just put the chorus here because the song ends with it,and because I just find it neat.

Another bonus point:Takada was the last person Light killed in the manga.

I chose to speak about this relationship because while Light did many shitty things in the manga,most of them were related to him being a comic book supervillain - therefore,way over the top to be truly horrifying. However,an individual setting out to get another person's affections with the sole goal of using and discarding them after they're no longer useful? That's quite realistic(With Misa,it's a more complicated case,since she knew Light was playing the role of boyfriend and doesn't care much to know who he's as a person. I'm not saying Light isn't shitty to her,it's just that they're mutually awful in a way by being enablers. Light indulges Misa's fantasies,and Misa does Light's bidding). Plus,he seemed really gleeful during his monologues - as if he was high on that power.

[haleigh-sloth]

Hi! I still don't get what the chapter named Part Minus 1 means, It's because Twice? Or it's because The League still can't become heros cause they still need to be saved?

So I talked about it here, but I can expand a little.

Looking back, I think the chapter title back then was very much meant to be confusing and not make sense. It was obviously something we wouldn't get follow up on until now.

I think the "Minus 1" is less about a specific individual being that -1, and more about a set back in the narrative taking place.

Chapter 341--the reception to the chapter when it dropped was mostly positive. We got a moment with Touya being softer than usual toward someone else. He saves his vulnerabilities for when he's alone, or facing members of his family when he doesn't make any efforts to hide his feelings. But with Toga it was less about his vulnerability, and more about him acknowledging hers. Because he can relate to the feeling of running back to the home you were torn away from by circumstance, and seeing that you'll never, ever have a place there again.

I am very much not in agreement with any found family/tight knit/close bond takes on the League's dynamics, but still here in a way, this was positive development for Touya. It showed us more about his own pain--him choosing to go after Toga, because when you get the backstory in chapter 350, 9 chapters later, it puts this moment into a whole new perspective. He acknowledged her vulnerability because he is already fully aware of his own, so he chose to follow her. And we see that he collected Twice's blood and gave it to her, someone he knew would cherish it more than anyone else.

But really, looking at the events of chapter 341, we know nothing that happened was positive in terms of literal events. Toga was faced with reminders of all the loss she's endured--her family and Twice. Touya choosing to go after Toga that day was also him having to face his own pain, because he can relate.

Then we cut to Spinner and Shigaraki, and we knew back then, but have only confirmed it further now, that everything about that situation turned out to be a major set back. Spinner ignored his gut feeling and just did what AFO wanted him to do, because he couldn't let go of his attachment to Tomura's destructive tendencies. And I really don't need to go into a deep explanation of how that turned out. We already know.

Then looking at the League in general. The only LOV member who showed--and still even now--is the only one who seems to be bothered by AFO's takeover of their operation and Tomura becoming a meat puppet is Spinner (due to character flaws his concern wasn't very helpful). Toga and Touya? I mean they don't seem to really care. In fact I'd agree with the take that at this point, they basically abandoned their comrade. Yeah they're still on the same team, but there is no team work. Chapter 341 showed the LOV in shambles, which only further benefits AFO because he's made already vulnerable people even more vulnerable by isolating them.

So I think the chapter title is less about a character in particular--which is what I originally thought--and more about the actual events of the story.

Tomura's body just morphing and growing and evolving beyond his control is not good. Toga feeling hopeless because everything she's ever loved has been taken from her is not good. Touya continuing to obsess over his own death is not good. Spinner making decisions that lead to him eventually becoming a mindless pawn is not good. Nothing that happened in chapter 341 was good.

The three chapters that preceded 341 all had the same title, but progressed up the number line (1, 2, & 3). Then we get a set back, because in the chapter negative events took place. Negative events that would eventually lead to disastrous events for the heroes--hence the "Minus 1".

So now! With all the recent events--involving villains no less--we have started progressing forward in a positive direction. Hence us being back up to 3.

[kerryweaverlesbian]

I published 20 fanfictions in 2022. 81, 936 words of completed short fiction! I want to revel in this achievement, so here is a list of all 20 Cawis fics in various catagories. All but two are Supernatural based. Give them a read if they strike you as interesting:

I just think that women... (sapphicnatural)

Did you know that women can fall in love? I sure did!

Growing A New Half Soul (E) (Jody/Donna) (17,996 words)

Created for the @spnbangbang, with art by the incomperable @solstheimart this combines two of my greatest loves, bisexual women and fake dating. Ft disablednatural, femme Donna, and romance. I'm so proud of this one.

Thorns Around A Rose (T) (Meg/Bela) (2,932 words)

Two boss babes trying to out-manipulate each other in the Hell of my own making. The women have sick horns and they also, deep down, have sick hearts.

Pillow Talk (G) (Jo/Mary) (740 words)

I was thinking about how wonderful it is that sapphicnatural girlies and boyos will go out of our way to give these women chances to love with people they literally never met. I think that's beautiful so I wrote this.

Past to Present (series) (G/E) (Charlie/Mary) (3,253 words)

Started off with a nice little 'what if they were friends, maybe Mary's a nerd too' and then got a horny sequel haha. I'll take this opportunity to shout out the Suptober prompts writing challenge, I wouldn't have written 20 fics without it!

I got themes, they're multiplying... (specifically, sad ones)

What can I say, I like the boy miserable. From here on out these will all be Dean/Cas or without a pairing.

O I Say, Now These Are The Soul (series) (M/E) (12,107 words)

This one is one I took very seriously and I think it paid off. Dean gets locked out of his own body and experiences dissociation, with moments of respite when he's able to hitch a lift. It has silly jokes in it also. I'm especially pleased with how many different ways I came up with for voiceless ghost Dean to communicate! With a lighthearted horny sequel because I had initally planned the first part to be that and then Dean kept getting upset lmao.

If I Cross Your Mind (G) (1,097 words)

Dean spiralling in a post-tmwwbk prayer, based on the Dolly Parton song of the same name. It's all monologue babyyyyy, with a ton of Dean-isms. "Amen, I guess, if you’re into that kind of thing".

Brought to the Flame (G) (1,044 words)

Dean spiralling from a more different Cas death. Sorry baby you're just so compelling when miserable....

Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg...(Meanstiel)

Labyrinth (G) (1,263 words)

Early seasons Dean trapped in a maze and it hasn't even got David Bowie in it. But you see the maze is also in his own mind, do you see, it's what we in the biz call a 'metaphor' lol.

I adore the Meg/Cas/Dean dynamic it's soooo spicy mm mm yummy delicious

Fear of the Dark (T) (3,406 words)

Honey!Cas era, with a delightfully ambiguous relationship between the three of them. I had a great time not fully explaining what was going on in everyone's heads, I think this is like the best example of my ideal dialogue writing style.

;) ... (;))

i guess you are good for something (E) (22,761) (ongoing)

They have fraught hot threesomes and it's all about Meg and Cas more than Dean, sorry Dean, this is about Them. I was shocked to see that I'd begun this only last year! Personally defining piece of writing. It's the only one that I didn't complete and then post so maybe the pacing and arcs are not very polished but I love her. My longest work! Only one chapter to go!

What if there were fanfictions that were horny. This is my bold new vision:

Indulge (E) (1,329)

Cas being used as a sex toy (lovingly). I just think he'd like having a task that he can choose whether or not he fulfils and also he and Dean love each other very much.

Stick and Poke (M) ()

Cas gets a tattoo from Dean and they're both soooo horny about it. Insane people. Insane people who do love each other very much.

The Forest For Trees (E) (1,617)

Okay this one actually is more about jealousy than having hotsex but it is in there. Also, I don't know if you've heard this but Dean and Cas? They actually love each other very much.

Misc. (Miscellaneous)

Frames of Mind (series) (E) (5,378) (TWILIGHT) (Edward/Bella)

Reread Twilight with my beloved book club and discovered the Truth of Edward (sub who loves self-denial) so I wrote two fics about (a more mature) Bella and him getting it on without being in the same room. There's also Eco Warrior Edward representation lmao.

Sometimes I just write things...

Rest for the Wicked (G) (733)

Dean and Cas share a bed to fall asleep awwww :) also they bicker, lovingly, because they love each other

Soldier's Poem (G) (160) (Samfic)

Sad man thinks about his sad childhood lol. Getting in Sam's head is so hard, I don't know if I understand this boy to be honest.

Muppet Madness (G) (4,410) (Muppets crossover)

This was SO much fun I LOVE the Muppets. It doesn't have to all be sad man faces lonliness it turns out, sometimes you can just write that Miss Piggy thinks she overhears Castiel planning a proposal to Kermit the frog and hyjinks can ensue. I hold so much power in this keyboard...

I can't believe I made 20 works of short fiction. New Years is often hard to cope with, this little concrete fact has really boosted my mood. I did this with my own brain and my own hands. Keep on kicking, cariad.

[weebsinstash]

Bully romances are an entirely different can of worms, I love hate-reading them. It’s so frustrating cause the FLs always think with their vaginas even when the guy is their fucking bully/abuser and 99% the dudes are like. Committing felonies against the FLs/other students. The classicism also, cause most of the time it’s always a poor FL getting a scholarship to attend this super rich exclusive academy and she’s treated like shit cause they din’t think she deserves to be there freeloading of the “paying students”.

The synopsis always say “they tried to break me but I’m already broken by my shitty life dancing as a stripper as a 15 year old to support myself after the tragic death of my parents, they don’t know who they’re messing with” or “I’m feisty. I’m defiant. I’m not submissive like everyone else and I’ll fight them” and the book is them being walked all over and doing exactly the opposite. Like I understand not standing up to your bully because you’re afraid and you’re in a position where you can’t do that but girl do you HAVE to suck his dick the first chance you get???? It also has the same issue of 18-year-olds being sex gods who are like. Fucking teachers and getting away with it because money.

Anyways once I read a book where the guys where some on “next leaders of the world” bullshit so their parents would abandon these children in forests and have them fend for themselves and also learn to kill people and fly helicopters I shit you not. Ngl the “rich yandere bullies you, poor scholarship student” actually kinda 😳 juicy with the drama and toxicity potential but those books are just SO BAD.

Part of me is like, i feel like some bully romances could work but, idk, it depends on what you're consuming a story for? Like how sometimes we read angst and stories that are sad and have no happy endings because that's a different form of entertainment and catharsis you know? But if you're writing a story where the bully is the LI then at some point you have to confront all the horrible things they did and make them have consequences, otherwise you just have rhe protagonist getting, basically worn down until they're succumb in my opinion? Like that's one thing that bugs me when the bully aspect is brought up in these werewolf stories because they'll literally use pack dynamics and the mate bond to like brainwash their lovers against their will. Like there was one story I never even posted about that I dropped very quickly because the plot was "girl with strong wolf literally gets drugged with pheromones to have sex with her notoriously mean Alpha mate, she really doesn't have a choice, he wears her down enough that she isn't resisting by the time he decides 'oh I won't mark you by force I want you to want me'" but like, I'm trying to remember all the heinous shit he did? She didn't want to have sex with him and he orders her on her hands and knees and literally puts pheromones inside of her so she's aroused enough for them to have sex like that's drugging and coercion and rape like he literally puts her in the dungeon for a time out "until she learns her place"? And HES THE ML???? IM SUPPOSED TO LOOK PASSED THAT? Sorry I don't care if he spends 20 years apologizing. What is this mindset that some horrible things can be undone, like sometimes the fact you did it in the first place is enough to warrant consequences

You're hitting the nail on the head with that synopsis description bc before I pick a story I usually read the description and my god are some of them baaaaaad, and no grammar sometimes too 🙄 what is the vetting process for some of these? Some concepts just sound so kooky and also as an adult it can be skeezy when a lot of these stories are like, talking about minors in high-school having sex? Like sometimes they emphasize werewolves are naturally beautiful and sometimes they'll just basically sleep around with humans just for some warm holes that adore them and theres some fucked up mentality in that.

(As a side note I just found another audiobook thats like appropriate length and it seems high production value and even like the skill of the author is standing out to me 😳 but. I think the protag is the man in the relationship and I prefer when it focuses on the ladies but, lmao I guess more werewolf drama posts coming soon? Wow they make this girl bathe in the river and use an outhouse and she's the previous Alpha's daughter and an Alpha herself :/)

Tbh now that I'm, you know, getting older and I'm 26 now I don't mind toooo much when the male love interests are young but like don't throw that "he's only 20 and he's the richest ceo in the entire world and he owns a private island factory and owns 50 Bugattis and his dick is 10 inches" shit at me ok, and he's 20 and to me that means he might as well be like 16. Give me a man in his 30s or 40s. Where are the silver foxes. Let me fuck someone's fit grandpa. Reinhardt from Overwatch can still get in these guts

But yeah I really need to actually back into my phone bookmarks and catch up on all my manhwa again because a lot of them were really cathartic in terms of getting revenge and also, I didn't have to pay by the chapter for those 😅

[velvetvexations]

Trans women also engage in and perpetuate transmisogyny, sometimes incredibly vicious and harmful transmisogyny - the point of these terms is to identify the groups relevant to the discussion, not to identify an innocent oppressed class and an oppressor class who does entirely 100% of the social dynamic.

As much as I disagree with the terms, this is a reasonable enough take on them.

like 20 parts raw transmisogyny.

This is the part where I start to strongly disagree.

Yes, people who perform masculinity under patriarchy are more respected by partriarchy and get some benefits from that, and this is reflected in the differences between experiences of transmascs and transfems.

No, it isn't. Even the hyper-specific situations where trans men benefit over trans women involve them being seen as "real" women (by some TERFs who might conditionally treat them better in certain contexts forex) in comparison to trans women, who are wrongly perceived as men. This doesn't mean trans women are oppressed for being men, because we aren't, and it also doesn't mean men in general are oppressed, but it does mean that "masculinity is always rewarded, femininity is always punished" is a blanket statement that completely breaks down in regards to trans people. Femininity is not rewarded in perceived men and masculinity is not rewarded in perceived women - and if you can't grok that transphobes view us as our assigned sex, we need to have this whole other really long and elaborate conversation before either of us feels like we live on the same planet.

Incidentally this is why the dyke butch/femme dichotomy is just there to sell more gender.

This is discourse cis lesbians and the earliest TERFs were having between themselves in the 70s, please don't do this. Please.

Everyone should get to perform their gender in a way that makes them happiest, and the problem is that we live under a patriarchy, which disempowers some people for the ways they perform their gender.

You need to talk to the countless transmascs who do not feel remotely empowered for performing their gender. They aren't. That isn't how this works. Cis people literally don't even think they're men, and they definitely don't appreciate masculinity in women.

The larger point is that discoursing over transmisogyny online, just like all discoursing online, is just shadows on the wall of the cave.

It's easy for you to say that when you're conclusion is that we need to stop discussing if transmascs are oppressed or not so we can focus our attention on helping the dolls. I'm sorry, but this ain't it. Transmascs are also the victims of hate crimes but they think the conversation is worth having when they feel constantly erased. They're going to keep talking about it while also helping deal with transmisogyny directed at us, and while they're helping us it'd be great if you could do them the bare minimum in return and listen to what they have to say.

And it's also really weird that after your point about how performing masculinity gives people an edge, your big contrast at the end is cis woman. You can say that you didn't mean for those two things to be connected, and that you were just using it as an example of how fighting against transmisogyny could be done - fine. But isn't it kinna funny that you couldn't grab a trans man's death being elevated in a way a trans woman's wasn't, despite how much more appropriate that would have been? It's because they don't have that layer of protection. They are on the same level as us. We are on the same level as them.

Trans women and trans men are equally bereft of structured ability to make change like that. The fact that she was a cis woman had everything to do with it. Sisters Uncut existed and had the pull that it did because it was by and for cis women. Trans women and trans men are both unprotected in that way. You wouldn't have been able to find a transmasc equivalent because they don't have that either.

You might say that organizations like that may often extend their protection to trans men and not trans women - but not only is this not actually the case most of the time, especially for trans men even a tiny bit of the way into physical transition, but even in the rare cases where it is true, it's essentially the equivalent to saying that trans women could also receive male privilege if they simply identified as men instead. The extremely limited and rare "support" transmascs often get that trans women explicitly do not (e.g. from TERFs) is so conditional that it's almost impossible to call support at all. The goal is always to invalidate and eventually detransition them, because they are not being seen as men. Most transmascs do not consider it a benefit, do not want it, do not accept it, and run from it on sight.

I hope you can take into consideration that I tried my best to not make this response too hostile and deleted various parts of the first draft that I deemed too angry and biting. I'm approaching you in good faith here.

Transmisogyny discourse on here has such an annoying shape to it.

Like I know that a bunch of it is just because it's from people who are / have always been very online / don't have much life experience as with all discourses that take on annoying shapes so I've been trying to not get too fixated on it but like,

Okay TMA (Transmisogyny Affected) and TME (Transmisogyny Exempt) are absolutely useful and valuable terms in the discussion of transmisogyny and how it works, because you need to be able to talk about who transmisogyny directly affects in order to talk about it. The much larger group of the total population is TME people, because that's (broadly) all cis people, and transmasculine people. So the majority of transmisogyny is necessarily directed from TME people to TMA people, but it's important to understand that as a social force it is actually directed from everyone towards TMA people. Trans women also engage in and perpetuate transmisogyny, sometimes incredibly vicious and harmful transmisogyny - the point of these terms is to identify the groups relevant to the discussion, not to identify an innocent oppressed class and an oppressor class who does entirely 100% of the social dynamic.

The next annoying part of the discourse is that in talking as if TME people = the transmisogyny doers, we keep winding up at a transfems vs transmascs discourse. This part of the discourse is like 1 part transfems misidentifying where the fight worth fighting is to 5 parts transmascs wanting to talk about ways they're also oppressed to like 20 parts raw transmisogyny. Yes, people who perform masculinity under patriarchy are more respected by partriarchy and get some benefits from that, and this is reflected in the differences between experiences of transmascs and transfems. This will be true everywhere that there is the basic patriarchal binary gender division between masculine (possessing agency, meaningful subjectivity, power) and feminine (being a type of property that belongs to others). Incidentally this is why the dyke butch/femme dichotomy is just there to sell more gender.

Everyone should get to perform their gender in a way that makes them happiest, and the problem is that we live under a patriarchy, which disempowers some people for the ways they perform their gender. I'm getting really basic here because some people on here talk like they need reminding.

The real reason the discourse is annoying though, just like all online discourses are, is because none of it is about how to organise to actually fight transmisogyny - that is, to make things meaningfully better for transmisogyny affected people.

2 years ago in the UK a teenage trans girl, Brianna Ghey, was stabbed to death after a prolonged campaign of transmisogynistic bullying by her classmates that the adults in her school life were absolutely aware of and did nothing about. Her death was the most important thing to every trans person in the UK for a moment, and then the political energy just dissipated without gaining any momentum. This is because organised structures of trans community, protest, politicisation and direct action just weren't there.

3 years ago in the UK a cis woman, Sarah Everard, was murdered by a police officer. There was an organised vigil which was politicised by Sisters Uncut, a feminist direct action group with chapters across london and the UK which had evolved to embrace police abolition over the course of its existence. The police escalated against the vigil and the spectacle of the police crackdown on women mourning the death of a woman murdered by police became a crucial moment in police abolition discourse in the UK. Because Sisters had already been laying down the organisational infrastructure for years, because it had been holding discussions among members and because it had responded to its members needs, it was in a strong enough position to act quickly and make change in the public consciousness. (You can read more about this in Abolition Revolution by Aviah Sarah Day and Shanice Octavia McBean.) If there was an organisation half as well put together as Sisters Uncut present in the trans community in the UK when Brianna Ghey was murdered, the organised response could have done something similar and meaningful.

I wrote a bit here about how trans people could use an assembly-organisation model to achieve meaningful change, but that's just my personal proposal for what would make a difference. The larger point is that discoursing over transmisogyny online, just like all discoursing online, is just shadows on the wall of the cave.

[atalana]

so we all know im a fan of all of the endless, i love disaster family dynamics, and of all of them delirium's my favourite

but desire's the one i have an essay pending in my brain for, because they fascinate me (mostly spoiler free, for show fans, but with insights into desire’s character we don’t get in the show)

like, the netflix adaptation is taken pretty much word for word from the comics, it’s astonishingly faithful, but there are the occasional added or retracted scenes, or narration that gets left out

and one of those with the doll’s house plot is the tv show doesn’t really cover why the doll’s house is relevant? but it’s something that rose wonders, after all she’s been through, are humans just the dolls of greater forces, like the endless? how much control does anyone really have over their own life?

and then we get to the last part of that story arc, the end of episode 10 in the show, where dream visits desire to confront them about their plot with unity and rose. which again, pretty word for word from the comics. but then, once dream leaves, we get this

(as a point of clarification, desire used mostly it/its pronouns in the 80s, but neil gaiman's said he changed them to they/them for the show bc that's a better reflection of their identity in 2022)

and it’s the most, fragile, we’ve ever seen desire be? so many of the endless are so close to breaking, death at least got over her troubles and is okay now, but dream spiralling slowly downwards (fully aware of it, but not saying anything to anyone) is his entire story, destruction left because he couldn’t handle the pressure of it, and delight straight up did break, and became delirium

and desire’s right up there with the worst of them (they and dream are so alike, except where it really counts), but desire deals with it by lying to themselves. lying to themselves about who they are, lying to themselves about their place in the world, and most ironically - lying to themselves about what they want

desire is literally created out of the desires of every living thing, they're aware of every desire anyone has ever had - except their own

many of their plots against dream would straight up get dream killed if they were to work, and they think that's what they want, but in a very megamind kinda way, desire doesn’t actually believe they’ll ever win. it’s part of why dream infuriates them so much, but it’s also a safety net, they can do whatever they like to dream and it won’t have real consequences, how could it? dream’s powerful enough he’ll always find a way out of it somehow, and in the meantime maybe he’ll stop being so condescending

and, again trying to avoid major spoilers, but there’s one more moment that’s really striking for me, and it’s when something happens that wasn’t desire’s doing, but mimics one of their old plans, and could be really bad news for dream, there’s no telling what will happen from then on. and despair returns to her own realm to find desire waiting for her, needing to talk. and at the end of it we get this exchange:

Despair: It was not of your doing.

Desire: True. But it was what I wanted.

Despair: So you’re happy?

Desire: No. I’m scared.

like, they care! it's constantly ignored or suppressed or forgotten about, but they do!

they think they hate dream and they think they’re in full control of everyone and everything and all of it is a lie, what they really want is for things to stay the same

but for them to remain desire, they can’t admit that to themselves

[lexpressobean]

I've been thinking about these 3 alot...

... and how much they seem to really respect Shino. I know it's a filler, but, like... Why does it seem like Shino has a knack for finding children who have wondered off away from school? Like, he's just taking a walk, making his way around the village or surrounding forest, and then there they are. Kids playing hooky or some shit. And Shino just takes it upon himself to approach them and steer them back to where they should be, while getting them attached to him somehow in the process??

But honestly. If this was just one of many times this had happened, I'd say Shino does this not out of his knack for teaching or having a way with kids. Rather, he developed a way with kids and easily applies that to his teaching because he has a strong desire to simply protect children. And it's not even from some paternal instinct as much as survival, because I think it stems from the developing trauma of losing Torune to Danzo. And I don't think it's all subconscious either.

Like I know the novel and anime frames his desicion to teach as a sort of a new goal in life as the war has ended for a couple years already and a noticable Peace has been achieved by the Blank Period and well... He's an Aburame.

Like, the Aburame are literal living, breathing, walking bioweapons. With no fight to utilize that, what else is there? Well, much like the Nara have the Nara forest and Pharmacology specifically, The Aburame most likely have a historical stake in the area of Konoha, perhaps it was simply in their Ancestral Home. Idk, but they're here to stay, they ain't budging. They're Clan Culture is very Martial and I'd argue Spartan in nature, but otherwise, they do other things too. I think they'd do well as major players in the conservation and research of native species of animals and plants, but definitely insects too. I bet they play a huge part in the general area's ecosystem, especially due to the fact that the Kamizuru clan attacked with a whole clan's worth of non-native Hymenoptera that could very well have become and still are an irritatingly and consistent problem as invasive species tend to be. And as a far as goods go, why not put some of them to use and handle an apiary? Honey is a great good to sell. All of this is great as a clan that no longer needs to fight. But, what about individual members in general, and so Shino?

Well Shino is the Heir of this clan. This Noble Clan. This "ready to throw hands at any moment" clan. It's future is in his hands, so to speak. So I doubt Shino would completely sever his connection to Shinobi life all together. And so, teaching at the Academy would be a great way to keep that connection. Teachers have to know their stuff, after all.

But what if in order to ensure teaching was his calling, Shino did his absolute best to make Jounin ASAP so he could take on a Genin Team. And. And by chance, it ended up being these three?? And they are absolutely STOKED!!! And they also pass Shino's genin test, which... would probably be a feat in it's own right. But they already know Shino, and Shino has bestowed upon them some wisdom they actually took to heart! Yeah, well, in reality they might be just a tad too old to be Shino's first official genin squad, but they were still his squad one point in a sense, right?

Kon Nohara, Tano Ikemoto, and Aoki Kobayashi

I even gave them names help Imagine these three are already chuunin at least and decide they want to pay Shino a visit and even volunteer to help Shino during class time on a collective day off because they admire him so much (T~T)

But even then if not these three kiddos, maybe these three li'l shits lol

Even in times of Peace, Shino's special set of skills seem too useful to waste, and being a Jounin teacher would definitely have been a way he could still go on missions, but also definitely commit to becoming a Sensei at the academy once he was 100% sure and got older. Kurenai became a Jounin/Genin Squad Leader in her late twenties, but in comparison I see Shino doing that more mid-20s. (He needs some time to travel and find his big bug friend and generally live a little?)

Kurenai was a Genjutsu Specialist who manned a Tracker/Sensing based team. This sounds like it was a highly beneficial combination, even if she ended up being somewhat sadistic lol. Asuma was bound to Team 10 by Tradition as InoShikaCho and Sarutobi have that Pact together. Kakashi's team was literally Cherry Picked for him specifically by the 3rd Hokage. And Gai, a Taijutsu Specialist, had a team that Specialized in Taijutsu and Physical Offense.

Of all four teams, Kurenai and Gai were very suited to their teams, Gai in a complimentary way and Kurenai in a Challenging way. In that same vein, I think Shino would imitate Gai. Shino as a Shinobi himself has a general set of skills, but the way he goes about them are very niche. But, he was always very stealthy, and could sneak up on nearly anyone. Gags aside, he could go unnoticed as long as he wanted too, and by the time he was noticed or was ready to attack, he has you quite literally surrounded. Honestly I can see why Search and Destroy would be an Aburame's forte, but when there's no need, a person with a personal skill of high quality stealth could probably man a team with an emphasis on Reconnaissance and/or Surveillance, even Bodyguarding. I feel like Shino would probably put an emphasis on Stealth and Tracking too, utilizing his insects as sort of assistants that keep tabs on his students (Stealth Test) as well as to encourage just enough fear during too much down time in his students to inspire quality training opportunities, so maybe Kurenai rubbed off on Shino more than they all realized haha

(Plus I'm sure his students would be be smart and thoughtful enough to eventually understand what Shino and his bugs are: a complete unit. They realize just how strong and dedicated Sensei really is to be the way he is, and they all learn more in depth about Kikaichu and it's like WOW SENSEI YOU REALLY ARE RISKING BEING EATEN ALIVE EVERY SINGLE DAY, AREN'T YOU? But he's still here, because THAT'S how strong he's become over the years and the confidence to manipulate the Kikaichu while having to think of current chakra level, the most efficient use at any given time, how many he actually needs, how long usage will last, ect. They are high maintenance, man!)

Shino would no doubt produce highly skilled Bodyguards and Masters of Stealth. Maybe the type that would end up being in high demand for the eventual Celebrities that start to pop up as times change, but still very much needed when it comes to Criminal Activity, like in Sora-Ku?

But as time passes and he decided to teach at the Academy, he'd feel very at ease to do so. He'd be happy to be put in charge of all these children, because he would be able to help teach them things they need to know to defend themselves and others in a world where adults like Danzo had and will continue to exist. Maybe while he's at it, he'd use his stance as a Noble Clan Heir and accomplished Shinobi to push for changes in government with Sai's help and with Naruto and Shikamaru's cooperation? Like, the truth does come out, everyone on the Council were actually horrible and had too much power. So HERE are some ideas and REASONS why these ideas should be implemented because Shino's not going to let his brother's life and death be in vain!? HELL no, we WILL make some changes around here. Shino sees his students and just wants a future where no kid ever has to live in fear of being completely taken advantage of by the very system that was supposed to keep them safe and they pledged allegiance to.

I cannot help but think of the quiet but absolute fear little Shino was harboring for the years to come after Torune was taken by that strange man and Father Shibi didn't even attempt to stop him. His own father didn't dare beat the shit out of this strange man who came looking for him, and the only solution for Shino to stay was for Torune to make himself look more desirable as an asset and be taken instead. I bet there was a lot of misplaced resentment there for a while, and talks that just didn't happen. Maybe a classmate doesn't show up to class one day and Shino is IMMEDIATELY stressed out and just... takes it upon himself to look for them after class. And he's relieved when he see they're simply at home with a fever. Shit like that just fucks with Shino, because theres people taking kids and no one is doing anything about it?? And then as Shino grew older he realized exactly what happened and how slimy the machine of Konoha really is and it was never completely Shibi's fault that Torune had to leave. He grows mentally at a faster rate than most of his classmates, and knows more than a kid really needs to know.

Shino doesn't want that for any other child. Shino is the kind of person who hears kids screaming outside of his house and he can't tell if they're playing or being murdered and it's stressful to the point he'll check through his window and he sees them for himself. He get stressed out seeing a kid in public unattended and WANTS to approach them to help if need be but also maybe he's overthinking it and the parents are there somewhere and he'd just end up looking suspicious. Like, that's what I kind of figure for Shino. He's so hyperaware of the power dynamic between kids and adults and seeing a kid so ready to fall victim to that makes Shino feel ill the more he thinks of what could happen. And he wonders if watching the kid in the market until they finally reunite with their parent so he could move on with the rest of his day causes him even a fraction of the the utterly disgusting flurry of nerves and fear that Shibi must have felt all those years ago. It goes along with his desire to spare every single little insect's life he can. It goes a long with the fact he only gets violent unless absolutely necessary. Like he wants to be strong but he doesn't want to go mad with power either, less he becomes the very thing that hurt him and his family in the first place.

Originally Shino wanted to become strong to be able to defend himself because at a very young age adults failed him and Torune. But then that changes to defend not only himself, but others as he grows on a team, and realizes trust is important. And then he figured if there must be adults out there that would hurt a child, it's only logical that he should become one that would only nurture and teach one to be strong as well.

Anyway, yeah. Had some feelings. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[ma-lark-ey]

Okay so I gave up on the image thing but I do have some fun texts from my boyfriend from this chapter. And, I limited myself to TWO callouts of Neil's gay sexual tension

Chapter 6:

Her roommate Renee was a mystery...Nicky had called her the sweetheart of the team. Neil understood why as he listened to her talk. He had no idea how she qualified for the Foxes' halfway-house team.

I want to study Renee like a bug she's so interesting

"You take him straight there, you get me?" Nicky waved her off. "Have a little faith in a guy, Dan." "That's Renee's job, not mine. Mine is to make sure we start the year with ten working bodies." "It's not like we're going to kill him." "Kevin already tried," Matt pointed out.

The Foxes' dynamic is literally so sibling coded, it's adorable. They're adorable.

"My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.

Brit-French beef is never not funny to me. Like it's so. I cant even explain but it's so funny.

"Believe this, Neil: you can't put a leash on me. Don't think you can, okay? And don't be stupid enough to tell other people you will. It's not safe. You'll make me want to break you." "You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do." "I know for sure she never did," Andrew said. "Well, she had to take offense to the dying part, but I thought that was rather fun. But you're right." He slapped the heel of his palm against his temple as if something obvious had just occurred to him. "I do as I please. Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday."

As promised, my baby’s commentary;

he gets it. (for context earlier I sent something Neil said with something along the lines of 'you want him to bad you look stupid')

"If I go, promise me you'll never touch anything of mine ever again." "So possessive," Andrew said. "Of course I am," Neil said. "Everything I own fits in one bag." Andrew considered that, then answered with a mad grin. "Okay. One night with us, and no more break-ins. Friday night will be fun." Neil highly doubted that.

"Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked. "Nowhere vital," Neil said.[1]

[1] I think about this conversation literally daily its so funny

"Maybe they'll get in a crash and won't make it," Nicky said hopefully. "Really, Nicky," Renee said. "That's a little inappropriate, don't you think?"

Take a shot every time Nicky cracks a joke about how he hopes Seth dies (impossible drinking game)

His mother's watchful eye noticed his lingering looks and increasing distraction. Afraid he'd spill their secrets over a childish crush, she beat him like she could kill his hormones with her bare hands. A few years of this violence and Neil finally got the hint: girls were too dangerous to consort with. [1]

[1] And now youre queer so howd that turn out. Bisexual little mess. real talk I want to kill your mother with my bear hands neil i think it'd fic you.

"Questions, comments, concerns? Anyone?" [Wymack said] Seth pointed at Neil and said angrily, "I'm fucking concerned—"

Coach cutting off Seth here is the comedic genius I came for. He's so funny. You threatened by a twink Seth??? By a TWINK??? okay...

"Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome." "The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth."[1] "Fuck you, faggot," Seth said. "I don't like that word," Andrew said. "Don't use it." "I would say 'fuck you, freak', but then you wouldn't know which one of you I was talking to."[2]

[1] OUT OF POCKET OUT OF POCKET OUT OF POCKET

[2] I would say I hope Seth dies a slow painful death but his death is actually quite dramatic

This time it was all teeth. Andrew's drugs made him manic,[1]

[1] I wanna know who’s bright idea that was. ‘ah yes, lets give the boy known for being unpredictable and violent a drug that makes him manic, aka, unpredictable an violent.’ JUST PUT THIS MAN ON WEED GOD GOD

"Look at me," Andrew said. Kevin turned a haunted look on him. "It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?"

"Why does Kevin trust Andrew?" Renee smiled. "Because he knows he can."

THIS.

Even if everything in Neil screamed at him to run, Neil couldn't do it, not after seeing that little show between Kevin and Andrew today. Maybe he was pathetic, or maybe he was too jealous to walk away. Maybe Neil just needed to understand. Why did Kevin always get more?

notes:

no big character thoughts on this chapter.

I'm back on my anti-Seth shit, and I will be back on my Nicky hater shit next chapter.

I've read through chapter eleven again at this point and plan to be completely through book one by the end of the day so expect a little bit of reblog spam to get through the other chapters.

I'm just holding Neil like a scruffed, drenched cat at this point and showing him to my boyfriend like an exhausted vet.

But hey!! Now all of the Foxes are here!!

I really like Dan and Matt :]] they're genuinely my favorites. Especially Matt. I ADORE Matt. He's just a guy!!

Lark Liveblogs Literature Part ???: All For The Game Series - Nora Sakavic

I'm doing something a little bit different with this one! In the business of full disclosure, I read TFC (and about a chapter of TRK) in April this year, decided "I can't mcfucking do this" and then gave up. And then didn't stop thinking about Neil Josten for the next eight months and now we're BACK. So, instead of properly 'liveblogging,' unlike most first-reads I do, I'm actually annotating this one because it's too good to NOT.

That means I have a customized (so totally legal mhm) word doc, highlight/unline privileges, and audacity.

Here's what I knew before I read back in April (stolen from my beta version of this post);

Andrew Minyard: Gay(?), funniest bitch alive if Tumblr brackets are to be trusted. Murderer? Has Boyfriend???

Sports. Maybe. Yes? sports.

Drugs are involved. Somehow.

Now, here's where I am going in now;

Ranking the Foxes goes; Neil, Aaron, Dan, Kevin, Andrew, Renee, Matt, Nicky

I have no idea how exy works, I do don't plan on figuring it out.

Do not remember if I read TRK but what I remember happening is far too much to be just the 230 page doc that is TFC so I MUST HAVE right?

Do know his real name's Nathaniel because I did read that scene reveal and get JUMPSCARED by my brother's name.

How this is going to work is that I'm going to put in my annotations for each chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 1:

"You can't be serious." "Very serious, and very out of time,"

"were a team of talented rejects and junkies because Wymack only recruited athletes from broken homes...nice in theory, but it meant his players were fractured isolationists who couldn't get along long enough to get through a game."

"God damn it, Minyard. This is why we can't have nice things."[1] "Oh, Coach," someone said over Neil's head. "If he was nice, he wouldn't be any use to us, would he?" "He's no use to us if you break him." "You'd rather I let him go? Put a band-aid on him and he'll be good as new."[2]

[1] This is why we can’t have nice things, darling. Because you break them. I have to take them away

[2] Andrew I’ll kiss you

"blond and five feet even"[1]

blond? wrong. five foot even? correct.

"They were champions, and Neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends."[1]

[1] Neil your self-loathing is showing

"It's not a good idea." "Your opinion has been duly noted and dismissed,"

"It was proof he existed, same as this game they both played. Kevin was proof Neil was real."

"It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you." Neil had heard Wymack referred to as an idealistic idiot by more than one person, but it was hard to listen to him and not believe that he was sincere

"It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation"

notes:

nothing much to say on chapter one--- it's a standard introductory chapter to a contemporary(ish) novel.

Wymack sets up the series' key theme with his line, "It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you."

Kevin's demeanor in this chapter is very similar to the Kevin we see up until Raven's come into play--- He's very good at acting very standoffish and tough.

The shift in Kevin when Riko comes into play was actually so dramatic I didn't recognize him here, I was afeared

some of the quotes I've added here are obviously because I thought they were funny exchanges--- others are me English Majoring(tm), and others are just me marking plot, characterization, facts, etc.

admittedly what i've put here is about half of what is actually highlighted/underlined in my doc.

I want to study the dynamic between Neil & Wymack under a microscpe