#can be read as they're playing dnd or just silly quotes

[forbiddentaako]

hazbin hotel characters as dnd quotes

ive already done this with ninja go might as well do it again asbjafdkbj

Husk: can that be a thing, can Alastor starve to death

Vaggie: no, you did not just fantasy eat soggy bread

Adam: he hits the whoa, and you hit the … die

Lucifer:I’m not in tip top shape I have fantasy depression

Alastor: that’s a 31. Eat your corpse

Angel: I’ll sell you crack I have some Sir Pentious: The only crack you have is your arse

Charlie: Nifty where did you put the ashes Nifty:of the deceased Charlie: ya Nifty: I cleaned them Charlie:where did you put them Nifty:the garbage

Angel Dust: she wants me? Sorry I don’t do women.

Vaggie: we’ve heard it with our own eyes

Lucifer: i’m having pregnancy sickness

Angel Dust: So what do you think, Angel becomes a male stripper? rolls nat 1

Angel Dust: one hand on my penis, one in Husk's

Charlie: will you be the truck to my other truck

Lucifer: next time i'm gonna cast the spell of internalized homophobia on Adam

Alastor: That’s my title actually Rosie: The aroace icon? Alastor: 😔 I’m not an icon

Charlie: that 17 I just rolled for hotness? flips hair Oh its leaving

[wheelercore]

The church scene with Jason was actually so important to the Wheeler parents and it's not talked about enough... Lucas said it best when he said "normal" wasn't real it's just for psychopaths like Jason (not the direct quote but that's the gist of it), because that's what everyone realized that season. Karen goes from nagging Mike hardcore to making it clear by the end of the season that she loves him before hugging him. Ted goes from calling the DnD club the high school dropouts club to calling the media satanic panic bs. It's subtle, but it's there.

And it's important in understand how both of them interact with Mike. How Karen focused on laying onto Mike about his troublesome behavior and punishing him without doing enough to Mike him feel safe to open up around her. Her problem was always that she wanted Mike to come to her while simultaneously never making him feel like she should. How can Mike feel safe coming to her about the fact that he's gay if she's always harping on his flaws trying to make him a "perfect" child?

Karen realized in that church scene, watching Jason, the good looking heterosexual popular basketball star, the child that every mother at that time would have wanted, the opposite of everything Mike is, ranting and raving about Mike's DnD club and how they're satanist and murders and realized: holy shit who raised him? Who gave him that hero complex? Who indoctrinated him this way? And her realizing that she's glad Mike is uniquely who he is and she loves him for it and she would never change it. And she should show it.

Ted doesn't nag Mike often, but his jabs are almost always related to Mike presenting in any way queer. (I actually was writing a post on this because it's so fascinating but the gist of it is that there's most likely a cycle going on here. It's sitting in my drafts but idk if I'll post it because ~ social anxiety~). Anyways, things like "see what happens", "our son? With a girl?", referring to the DnD club as the "high school drop outs club", and "no sweetie pie" (idk if Ted even knows El exists lol).

"Anything is possible" he says and Karen snaps at him that their children aren't murderers, and of course he knows that... It's not what he meant he says, but he did say it. The DnD clubs are "queer" and "satanic" in the media he reads and watches right? It's his scripted line from what he sees, what he should say because it's what everyone else is saying. But he doesn't believe it. He doesn't believe Mike and his friends are murderers. However, as long as he follows the script, as long as he partakes in this "silly, terrible play" (as Henry called it) where he wakes up, works, eats, sleeps, reproduces, and dies- which are the only things we see Ted ever do bar death- doing the bare minimum performance as a father, then he doesn't have to think about that cognitive dissonance. He doesn't have to think at all.

He could just sit there and eat, letting Jason come and go with his mob, just like he does when Karen is scolding Mike at the dinner table. Except his donuts are uneaten because for once he can't just distract himself when there's someone making his son's DnD club out to be satanists capable of serial murder in a church of all places, and when there's a mob ready to chase them down. And so, for the first time he goes off script- it's subtle, he's just not eating the food in his hand and paying attention. But then in the next scene, he goes even further off script saying that the media satanic panic is tabloid bs rather just just absorbing it or sleeping.

Both Karen and Ted are evolving, it's subtle, but s4 was a turning point for them I think.

[quietbluejay]

Fulgrim 1

put on your hazmat suits folks

okay I wouldn't call this a strong beginning but it's not terrible we're describing the marble sculpture dude and his friend

this is at least not gross like the ATS version veered into

we also get a comment about "she'd be prettier if she didn't wear makeup" (about a different woman) which like, in isolation isn't that bad it's just combined with everything else Ostian (sculpture dude) isn't a fan of her (bemakeuped musician lady)

so he likes her fine now

sdjkflhsdjf a guy whispers to his partner and Becqua stops the entire concerto in a huff he tries to pull rank but she's unmoved nope she's not gonna play any more today! noooo cries the audience in despair

but lo! a hero has arrived to save the evening

I did a dramatic reading of this whole bit once for my dnd group if anyone's interested I can record some dramatic readings from this book

also like, i guess we know why Ostian isn't really into Becqua or able to tell she's hitting on him

the next bit cut to a battle on Laeran and it was…actually pretty decent prose wise we get a little Laer description and background on the EC

every time you think a primarch has hit the depths of jackassery you always find out they can keep digging pffff they named a ship "Fulgrim's Virtue" also, Fulgrim wants the system compliant within a month

the protectorate thing is interesting because it's literally the only case in the entire Heresy I've seen such a thing discussed the Roman inspiration of the EC is also being super played up, Julius Kaesorion is wearing a toga, and just, a lot of the general vibe well the marble busts lining the corridors lol the way they're fighting huh you know the prose hasn't gone over the edge into silliness that much, ATS was a lot worse by this point we've really only had Fulgrim's entrance

marble benches? uncomfy the EC are talking about the arts

they really do feel like kids lol

also lmao Mr Stop Worshipping Me

"manifest destiny" take a shot oh it's time for someone to bring up some inconvenient facts

i like Fayle already, but I always do for people who stand up to primarchs

lmao anyways Fayle is right and should say it

so like given what I've seen of EC tactics and strategy so far how are any of them alive lmao

grandmaitsmeanastasia.gif

if i took a shot every time fulgrim throws off his robes in a mcneill novel i'd…well i probably wouldn't have alcohol poisoning but i'd most likely be feeling pretty nauseous

Solomon is fighting the Laer, and really really wants to kinkshame them also dudes i know you're being invaded but it's super uncool to involve people in your being stabbed kink without consent solomon: we've never turned around before so onwardsss!

well im glad we don't have solomon in charge of the iron warriors lmao we go to another officers POV and he's taking high casualties but did win

lmao the helmet thing again

definitely healthy! back to the remembrancers and Serena self harms in public it's funny it cuts from the brutal fights back to these guys flirting on the deck (Ostian and Serena)

to quote a dude I knew on discord, slitherslither they wish to go hither

this is a very funny mental image just imagining snakemen going BOING

Solomon goes a bit kill happy reminds me of Kharn here lol

Solomon is an idiot -takes helmet off so can't communicate -completely isolated from everyone and no clue where he is -keeps losing men because he's got a thing about not retreating

also -OUT OF AMMO

luckily he gets found by someone else

gag me

well i guess i was wrong about Ostian and yep we have a love triangle on our hands im also squinting a bit here since McNeill's a weeb (also: Bequa has blue hair)

if i have to read this so do you

i don't think the word "extremities" means what you think it means ostian, lying: uhhhhh not really bequa then is like: ok let's have sex on the deck I'm never going to make fun of Khayon having a not-girlfriend again in my entire life bequa kabedons him

hm. don't like this

well, at least bequa actually let him go after he said he and serena were involved why was this necessary, mcneill

given the casualties i saw on the EC side [citation needed] oh boy we get to meet Fabius so Fabius has been studying Laer bodies

oops fabius is getting a little too close to heresy