#can I…buy that cutout when they’re done with it? is that allowed?

[pumpkingeorge]

I’d forgotten all about Lewis until I ran into him earlier.

[simmetrycal]

oc facts and tidbits! ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

just little(ish) things about everyone.

a/n: hi friends! haven’t written in a few long days so chew on this until i can finish up chapter three!

˚ · .

ash

he’s the type of mf to put a tampon up his nostril when he has a bloody nose

^“what?” with his nasally ass voice. “it works!”

played hockey in highschool and was a goalie for most of it but when he started losing weight he was center and left winger

one of his favorite things to do is just drive. like drive around the backroads in his audi listening to music.

he LOVES nicki minaj. especially barbie drip remix

he falls up the stairs

one time chantelle recorded him while he was eating salami wrapped around a cheese stick and he went “hm! it’s actually a bit fruity!” and the audio got really popular on tiktok

always keeps quarters in his pockets for vending machines

calls chantelle’s girlfriend an opossum bc he thinks she looks like one

his dad likes to keep him humble so for his first car he got him a total rust bucket

and he drove it to school. everyday.

and to work— he used to work at a grocery store.

his best/worst memory from the grocery store was getting deathly scared by a danny devito cardboard cutout that was around the corner

he does pilates once a week

has a pastel pink yoga mat for it and he ties his hair up into tiny pigtails

his dalmatian rocky is a fucking menace. absolute bark boy and does zoomies on the furniture but ash loves him way too much

he bought his sister kylie a white jeep off the lot when she turned 16.

called agnes raggedy anne one time as a joke. she wasn’t happy.

one time got sick from inhaling so many helium balloons

he’s obsessed with ludacris. the guy. he’s met him twice.

hes a shorts in the winter guy. “i’m not even cold bro.”

he has a bubble butt

he never remembers to check his pockets before he does his laundry. so much melted paper and coins are at the bottom of the dryer when he’s done.

messy handwriting

certified top of the doorframe slapper

he’s been on first name basis’ with all moms since middle school.

after he bought a bape bearbrick 1000 raymond manages ash’s finances. he only gets a certain allowance from his paycheck and the rest goes to his savings account which he isn’t allow to touch.

constantly bouncing his leg.

this man LOVES slumber parties. all aspects! the snacks, the movies, the skincare, the pillow fights! he goes crazy

super messy eater. his sloppy ass hotdogs slip out of the bun and land on his lap 7/10 times.

better at dancing that you’d ever think

likes taking picture of donuts just as much as he likes eating them

he knows how to crochet and somewhat how to play the guitar

can’t handle spicy food at all! bro is absolutely red, teary eyes, salivating, everything

really likes despicable me and minions

he is fucking feral at trampoline parks

^he has a video of himself that’s super sped up jumping around there really fast and doing flips and it makes him laugh everytime he watches it

he has shirts that say nerf or nothing on them.

when he was fourteen he shaved his head and bleached it.

lays on his belly all the time

broken so many bones in his life. bro was always in a cast or crutches. (he got hella signatures)

he likes red gatorade. a lot. he got that red circle around his lips

he often forgets to rerack his weights

bought a handicap parking pass on amazon, put it in his glovebox, and he takes it out when he wants to park somewhere easily (he knows he shouldn’t)

he makes your mom jokes maybe too often

he’s a sneaker head

^laying on his office couch like “chantelle should i buy these?” and they’re like some absurdly priced resale of travis scott jordans

his phone lock screen is rocky

he can’t use chopsticks.

says his favorite video game is call of duty black ops but secretly the real answer is roblox.

his favorite roblox game is meep city.

he bought an nft one time and it plummeted

he has never even been close to being in a car accident

he tries to come to all his sisters’ volleyball games. cora his stepmom is always there and ash doesn’t exactly like her but he’s so so kind and he always strikes up conversations with her.

he’s a cheerer and a clapper

his favorite color is blue

he always has a blue phone case

gets so so sunburnt everytime he goes to the beach

he has a ton of freckles on his back but not much in other places

^“i feel like one of them has to be cancerous right?”

a lot of people think he’s a picky eater bc he likes mcdonald’s so much but he’s actually got a pretty refined pallet. he’s a big fan of scallops

used to go to random mechanics for car stuff but for the past few months he’s been coming to chantelle’s girlfriends cousin’s shop.

he keeps coming in because he thinks oaklynns cousin, jericho, is cute but if he ever told chantelle she’d beat him to a pulp

at this point he’s getting unnecessary upgrades to his car. frequently. a tiny rock hit the windshield? shii guess he gotta replaced the whole thing.

“come here often? what am i saying— you work here.” he says, flustered over jericho. he can barely see his face half the time with it being masked by pairs of shiny sunglasses

he collects rap snacks

he likes to play hide and seek but when he hides he always goes behind a curtain and you can see his feet

bros the type of guy to open a bag of chips with scissors

has a pic of him and nardwuar.

he always downloads the games in the mobile ads

he has hundreds of games on his phone

bro always falls for the shit like “somebody wrote gullible on the ceiling” and “gayboysaywhat”

he quotes movies and shows ALL the dang time

he can’t cook for shit

his favorite video ever is that one old guy smoking a cigar in a car with the song no auto durk

˚ · .

chantelle

she’s quick to block someone

worked for an insurance company and she absolutely hated it. that place was the bane of her existence.

one thing she loves more than anything is going on vacation— especially tropical ones

“ash did you take your adderal today?” (always keeps extra in her purse)

her favorite flowers are blue hydrangeas

hates when ash just clocks out whenever he wants but there’s no stopping him

drives a 2022 toyota camry and she has one of those like corny rhinestone ignition button decals but now it’s stuck on there

she’s allergic to dogs (no rocky babysitting for her (grateful))

her girlfriend is chronically short

number one sza fan

single-handedly keeping vaseline in production

when she’s not in business clothes she wears like 3xl t shirts and like cheetah print booty shorts

˚ · .

raymond

bros a total chef.

would have vanessa do his sleeve tattoo when he’s a dad

secretly (maybe not so secretly) really insecure.

despite looking like a tough guy he’s a total square. always doing what he’s told no matter what.

he oversees payroll as well as company finances

he doesn’t mind commercials or ads, sometimes he even enjoys them

he is left handed

jia and him went to the same college (penn state)

he played basketball there and got quite good

he’s really interested in planes

loves loves loves food videos

he doesn’t do cardio kind of ever..? he only works his legs, arms, back, and shoulders, and doesnt really run a lot.

his favorite workout is doing deadlifts

raymond’s mom can only speak cantonese and she’s 4’11

his dad is as tall as raymond and speaks decent english

part of the reason why he’s such a good cook is because jia gets hangry and he wants no drama.

raymond’s aftershave is one of the sexiest smells you can ever possibly imagine.

he can be bold sometimes. confidence comes from nowhere and it’s shortlived

he’s very very patient

˚ · .

facts about side characters:

agnes used to be a stripper and everyone in the office knows about it.

headphone guy got his pinkie cut off by a yakuza member.

eli calls raymond “raymin” and everyone thinks it’s very cute.

oaklynn, chantelle’s girlfriend, is a florist and she drives a volkswagen rabbit that ash can never quit laughing at.

oaklynn doesn’t like ash.

ash’s sisters on his dads side kylie and parker don’t often get along (on kylie’s account) but parker gets along with ash’s sister on his moms side, eva. parker and eva each lunch in the library together

eva’s very secretive, she had a boyfriend that nobody knew about. one day ash found out and she broke up with him, scared that he was gonna tell their mom (he would never).

eva doesn’t drive bc of anxiety, but if she did ash would be quick to get her a car for her birthday. he thinks a miata would suit her.

vanessa used to be a biker

jia has a naturally high stress level perpetually, which makes her cranky.

ty for reading! not proofed so ignore any spelling errors, grammar issues, punctuation mistakes, and weird formatting

love yall!

jericho copyright dylan

vanessa and eli copyright yume

[poorlittleyaoyao]

My mission to rewatch the entirety of CQL over the long weekend has commenced! For blocking purposes, the tag is gonna be the same as what it was the first time through: “masala necromancy wizard hour.”

Episode 3:

-Really more of a carry-over from the second episode, but I like how the show isn’t just unclear about how much time passes between Cloud Recesses Summer Camp and WWX’s resurrection, but overtly obfuscating. The title card definitely read SIXTEEN YEARS AGO as the Yunmeng flashback trio pulled into Caiyi Town, but people have repeatedly said that WWX died sixteen years ago. Time, like geography, is an illusion.

-I could not STAND Jin Zixuan when I first watched the show last year. Now that I know what his arc is... I still don’t like him. I’m sorry, fandom, but he’s boring! He’s so boring! I’d honestly like him more if he were overtly bratty; a haughtier version of Jin Ling or, better yet, a male version of Pooja from K3G would be FANTASTIC, but as it is, I just cannot care about this cardboard cutout.

-I also don’t buy that Yanli is attracted to him? She looks uncomfortable to the point of nausea. If I, an aroace, find a character’s response to their love interest personally relatable, that’s... not a great sign. (Jiang Yanli 🤝 Sophia Cracroft 🤝 Rani Mukherjee’s character in KANK, my poor beloveds)

-That said, I appreciate how they lay the groundwork fro JZX turning it around by having him be halfway courteous to JYL and JYL only.

-I choose to believe that the Lan sect absoutely knows who everyone is when they show up, but the “you must have a ticket” thing was put there as a test of responsibility. Alternately, the guard guy hates his job and wants to fuck with people.

-I love bb Jiang Cheng stepping forward to try and do diplomatic interactions every time they encounter other members of the nobility. He’s doing his best!

-I also love!!! That JC notices when JYL is distressed! And tries to reassure her!

- “A-Cheng, you know that A-Xian always takes things seriously when they’re important.” ohhhhh nooooo he’s gonna internalize this and rationalize that WWX must not consider him important later, isn’t he D:

-I like the change to have WWX break a ward to enter Cloud Recesses rather than just climb over a fence. It establishes him as dangerous! No wonder Hall Monitor Lan Wangji is immediately on high alert. Breaking through the wards isn’t allowed? NO SHIT, HANGUANG-JUN. IT ALSO SHOULDN’T BE EASILY DONE!

-omg I just realized that WWX has literally no idea where the Jiang contingent is staying? What was he gonna do if LWJ didn’t intercept him, knock on every door until he found them?

-AERiagehhgkssr I FORGOT THAT WANGJI INTERRUPTS HIS BROTHER AND UNCLE FROM INVESTIGATING THEIR ZOMBIE AUTOPSY SO THEY CAN GIVE WWX DETENTION.

-Xichen is just so DELIGHTED by this diversion, though. It’s cute.

-"The puppets are totally alive and TOTALLY NOT ZOMBIES” creates so many weird plot problems re: Wen Ning and the Yi City crew, but I don’t hate it elsewhere. The description makes me think of the guys who’ve had their souls sucked out by Tuunbaq in The Terror. “All I can bring to mind is the example of a diary with all the entries removed. It’s still a book, yes. But blank pages now.“

-”Wangji, doesn’t he have some real skills? :)” “>:(! >:(! >:(!”

-OH MY GOD XUE YANG IS THIS EARLY?

-OH MY GOD HIM GETTING CHOKED OUT BY WEN RUOHAN IS HIS INTRODUCTION?

-Does Xue Yang as a Wen attache with a connection to the Yin Iron’s creation throw a wrench in a lot of plot elements? Yes. Do I like it anyway? Also yes. Firstly, it establishes that Wen Ruohan has a habit of giving jobs to maladjusted vengeance teens. Secondly, the Wen siblings and Xue Yang definitely interacted and that is HILARIOUS. Please consider Xue Yang following Wen Qing around pestering her to tell him weird gross medical facts. Please consider Xue Yang teaching an appreciative Wen Ning how to curse better. Bless.

[star-spangledstud]

Webcam

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (female!)reader.

Word Count: 2800-ish

Summary: You and Bucky try something you’ve never tried before. 

A/N: Based on the song ‘Cyber Sex’ by Doja Cat. (I’M OBSESSED WITH HER RIGHT NOW, OKAY?!” also my first smut so be gentle ;)

Warnings: 18+ SMUT (don’t read if you’re a minor mmkay?); masturbation; cursing

For the fourth time in half an hour, you looked at yourself in the mirror. With one finger, you cleaned up your lip gloss, removing it from the edge of your lower lip before tousling your hair to give it more volume. You straightened out your dress next, blushing to yourself when you thought of what you wore underneath. Bucky had no idea what was coming to him, you were sure of it. After all, you’d never had cybersex before. The guy hardly knew how to work an iPhone 4.

“Can you see me yet?” 

You chuckled, adjusting your camera so he would be able to see you better. Staring back at you was a black screen with three dots in the center and a small cutout square in the corner in which you could see yourself waving your hand in front of the webcam. You wiggled in your seat and squeezed your thighs together, anticipation bubbling in your lower belly at the thought of what you were about to do. 

“No,” he muttered, “how the hell does this work again? Hang on, baby, the computer hates me.”

He pressed several buttons, thick fingers jamming the keyboard in quick motions. You doubted he had any clue what he was doing. Technology had never been Bucky’s strong suit. 

You rolled your eyes and snorted, “James, we went over this. You have to press the camera button and make your own screen smaller with the little arrows so you can see me.”

A picture suddenly replaced the blackness, causing your cheeks to heat up and your heart to skip. There he was, your man, staring at his screen with a deep frown on his forehead and his tongue sticking out of his mouth; his concentration face. He was still dressed in his tactile suit, streaks of dirt evident on his chiseled cheekbones. 

“I see you now,” he said, smiling at you, “can you see me?” 

You nodded and waved again, smiling wide when he returned the gesture. You’d never get tired of seeing that face, not in a million years. He’d always give you butterflies.

“Where’s Steve?” You asked to be safe, peering into the motel room behind him.

“Got his own room for the night,” he commented, “I wanted to be alone with my best girl.”

He got up, placing the gun that had been lying on the desk in front of his computer on the nightstand of his double bed. The entire room seemed to entirely be clad in 80s decor, from the wallpaper to the sheets and even the TV behind him. You watched as he took another weapon from his waistband and placed it beside the other one. Then a knife, which he collected from his right boot, ended up on the table as well. 

“How long have you been in?” You asked. 

“We just got back ten minutes ago,” he smiled, “I couldn’t wait to see your face. I miss you.” 

“I miss you too,” you said, “come sit down, big guy.” 

He did as told and took a seat after taking his jacket off and hanging it up over the back of the chair. His finger went out to touch the screen but recoiled when he realized it was silly. He really did miss you, it had been too damn long since he was able to touch you. 

Bucky and Steve left nearly two months ago. He knew it would be a long mission with endless stakeouts and not a lot of action, which made the time pass by even slower. Every day he’d sit in various hiding spots for hours, underneath bushes, behind trees and sometimes even high up inside them with weapons at the ready but nobody to shoot. HYDRA employees seemed to live in the underground facility he and Steve had been staking out for weeks now because neither of them had seen anyone go in our out so far and it was starting to become frustrating. 

“We’re thinking we might call it quits in a few days,” he said, rubbing his arms, “we haven’t seen shit and we both doubt things will change anytime soon. It looks like they’re laying low for now. All the cameras are almost set up anyway, so we can watch ‘em remotely.” 

You nodded happily, excited at the prospect of seeing your boyfriend again soon. You missed him terribly, missed having him by your side every day and in your bed every night. You missed pulling at his hair while his hands were on your hips, fingertips pushing into your bare skin as he drew profanities from your lips. Fuck, you missed him terribly.

“Speaking of cameras,” you grinned, “do you like my new dress? Haven’t had a chance to show you yet.” You asked, getting up from your chair. 

You pushed it back so your whole body could get in the frame, your hands slowly running down the length of the pastel gingham dress that made your skin tone stand out beautifully. You could see Bucky closing in on his computer screen to see better, lower lip between his teeth when you twirled for him, making the skirt lift to expose more of your skin. He looked down at the white knee socks that clad your legs and the black Mary-Jane pumps on your feet and his lip turned red from the biting. 

“I love it,” he said breathlessly, “really makin’ me miss you right now.”

“I’ve so been lonely without you,” you purred.

To say you’d planned how this would go be a lie. You’d never undressed on camera before and weren’t exactly confident in your abilities to sensually strip for a man, but it was Bucky who you were doing it for and just knowing that made you feel more at ease. Nevertheless, your heart thumped in your chest while your fingers went to the hem of the dress, which ended just above your knees. Bucky frowned as you began to lift the piece of fabric slowly over your thighs, his breath hitching when you looked up into the webcam.

“What’re you doing?” He asked breathlessly, “baby...” 

He knew damn well what you were doing, he could see what you were doing with his icy blues, but he was afraid, terrified to think they were deceiving him or that it was all a terribly wonderful dream. Either way, he didn’t want to wake up before having the chance to see it all unfold. Being away from you for so long was starting to remind him of going to war. To make matters worse, he couldn’t just easily jerk off with Steve’s supersoldier hearing. Bucky was itching for release.

“Wanna show you how much I miss you, James,” you cooed, “cause I miss you real bad.” 

Your hands left the hem for a moment, fabric dropping to just above your knees again. Then, they found the underside of your breasts, your sternum, your stomach, and your hips. You caressed yourself, flicking your own nipples and fiddling with the cotton straps slowly before you finally lifted the dress up again, further this time. He’d soon be able to see your new underwear, pretty, soft, and pink just like your pussy. 

As soon as the fabric of the dress exposed the line of your panties, Bucky was gripping the table in front of him like his life depended on it. He’d never in his life thought about using modern communication devices for, well, sexual purposes, but the growing pressure inside his tactile pants had him suppressing a groan he could hardly keep inside his hot mouth and he had to stop himself from bucking his hips forward in an attempt to create deliciously painful friction against his pants.

Your bra, brand new and the same shade of baby pink with red lace around the wire, his favorite color on you, came into view and he was like a puddle at your feet. You tossed the dress on your bed, allowing your hands to slide up and down your body while he watched you in silence, the only sound being soft jazz music that played through your surround-sound system. Just the thought of his eyes on you getting naked in your bedroom made wetness pool between your legs.

You sauntered back towards the camera, using your hands to lean against the desk so your breasts were pushed together. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of him, had been ever since he was roughly whisked away from you two months ago and Jesus Christ you needed him so bad. It was a fucking sin to be away from him for so long. How the hell did you survive before you met him? How did you get off without his dick?

“Is that new too? Did you buy that for me as well?” He asked, voice gruff and dangerously low. 

You nodded, showing off the fabric by coming even closer to the camera. Then, you turned around again, slightly shaking your ass when you showed him the back of your panties up close. Your thumbs hooked under the band on your hips and they smacked against your skin when you let it go again. 

“I can’t wait to see you in that in-person, baby. All the things I’m gonna do to you while you’re wearing it. Gonna rip it right off you.”

“Yeah?” you taunted, licking your lips while cupping your bra with both hands.

“You doubtin’ me?” he asked darkly. 

“Seeing is believing, Sarge.”

“You’ll see it,” he smirked, “feel it too, when I shove my fucking cock down your throat.” 

You sat back down in the chair, squeezing your legs together to stop the ache between them as you shivered. How bad you wished he would come barging into the room right then and there to make you his, how much you needed his hand around your throat while he fucked you mercilessly into the desk, the thoughts were driving you up the fucking wall. You inhaled deeply, a deep breath enough to suck in the courage for what you were about to say. 

“I’m so wet for you, James.” 

You could hear the sharp intake of breath through the microphone of your laptop. He remained silent for a moment, contemplating what to say. He’d never done this before, but he wanted to make you happy in any way he could. He’d do anything for you, even being thousands of miles away from you. 

“Are you now?” he huffed, “guess that since I can’t be there to help you, you’re gonna have to listen to what I tell you to do. Can you do that for me, baby? Be so good for me.” 

You nodded quickly, taking your index finger in your mouth and biting the skin in anticipation. He had you writhing in your chair without even touching you. You didn’t know what it was about him, but everything about him turned you on, from the way his jawline was covered in dark scruff to his metal arm, which gleamed beautifully in the artificial motel room light. Everything about him oozed masculinity. 

“Show me how wet you are,” he told you, “come on angel.” 

You did as told by placing both heels on either side of the desk. He could already see the wet patch in the center of your panties begin to form and this time, Bucky couldn’t help but to let out a throaty groan when memories of him fucking you harshly and relentlessly into the mattress behind you clouded his vision. 

“I’ve been so lonely without you, Bucky,” you said, rubbing your fingers across your inner thighs teasingly, “It’s just not the same when I do it.”

He palmed his cock through his pants en began to rub it slowly at the sight of you; one hand moving over your clothed pussy and the other disappearing inside the cup of your bra. You adored way his dark, long hair was tied in a messy bun and wished you could reach through the screen to touch it. You wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips trailing down between your breasts, along your stomach and to the place where you needed him most. 

“Take it off,” he grumbled as he undid the button and unzipped his pants, “all of it. Take it off right now.”

He didn’t have to tell you again. Your bra was on the floor in seconds, exposing your perked nipples to the cold air of your room and his wanting gaze. You wiggled out of your panties, dropping them on the ground in front of you. Then, your legs resumed their previous position, one on the left side of your laptop and the other on the right, heels clicking against the wood in anticipation. 

You swore you could hear him curse underneath his breath when he caught a view of your naked pussy, glistening with slick and pretty pink contrasted by dark tan lines. He pulled his straining cock free from his boxers at last. It’s hard and thick, so fucking thick it made you want to cry out in desperation. There was no way you could’ve waited another day without at least seeing him, it was downright torture.

“So pretty, baby,” he groaned into his microphone, “touch yourself for me.”

You did as told, placing a finger on your most sensitive place, “Like this?” 

You began to rub circles over your clit, finally allowing a moan to escape your lips while Bucky slowly rubbed his throbbing cock. 

“Jesus, I want you to come sit on my dick,” his eyes screwed shut, “fuck you ‘til you can’t breathe.” 

“Come home then,” you tease, licking your finger before placing it back on your nub, “I’ll sit on your dick all day long.” 

“All day? You sure you can handle that?” He asked, eyes opening again just in time to see you plunge your middle finger inside yourself. 

You were so hot, burning to the touch and your back arched involuntarily when you dipped your finger in and out of your glistening pussy, “I’ll sit on your dick and your face, Bucky. You’re my favorite seat.” 

He chuckled, his grip on his cock tightening in an attempt to mimic the way you felt clenching around him. He envisioned it, your pussy over his mouth, nose pushed against your public bone as his tongue dove in and out of you. He’d grip your ass and smack it red with his metal one while groping your tits with his flesh one, drinking you up as you came in his mouth, driven to near madness from the feeling of his scruff against your most sensitive area.

You couldn’t wait for him to be with you again so he could be the one whose fingers were inside you instead of your own, ready to cave under the pressure of his muscular body on top of you. 

“Fuck,” you moaned, plunging another digit in so your middle finger wouldn’t cramp up, “wish you could cum in my mouth.” 

“Jesus Christ, I will,” the velvet murmur of his voice reminded you to look up at the camera instead of down at yourself, “soon as I get back to you I’ll cum wherever you want.”

You began to pump faster, rubbing your clit in smaller and more intense circles than before. You could see him do the same, increasing the speed with which he jerked himself off. His face was red and gleaming with sweat, running along his temple and down his neck. Your moans echoed through his speakers and through your room, filling his ears with a sound so delicious it nearly drove him insane.

“Cum for me, baby,” he urged, “I wanna see you make yourself cum like my good girl.” 

Pleasure overtook you when his words rang in your ears on repeat, eyes screwing shut when you continued to plunge your fingers inside you at a fast pace. Your hips rolled inside the chair, desperate for as much friction as you could possibly get. It creaked under your jerky movements, but you didn’t pay it any attention when Bucky’s voice filled the room through the speakers. 

You tossed your head back in bliss, pressure building so fast and deep inside of you that you knew you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Keep going,” he urged, “don’t you dare stop, baby.” 

“James, fuck” you moaned loudly, “I’m gonna..” 

Before you could finish your sentence, you were cumming so hard you saw stars clouding your vision. Your walls clenched around your fingers while you continued to rub circles over your oversensitized clit in an attempt to ride out your orgasm as long as you could. The coil of pleasure inside your lower belly finally snapped, sending sparks before your eyes and your mind blanked. 

You shuddered and opened your eyes, watching Bucky stroke himself from tip to base, hair beginning to fall from the bun atop his head the more he tilted his head back. 

With a harsh pant, he came all over his stomach, coating the black tactile vest in glossy white spurts of hot cum. He’d have to clean it before tomorrow because his other one had ripped when trying to climb a tree, but right now, all he could think about was how good it felt.

He fell back inside his chair, hands falling limply to his sides while he watched you remove your fingers from inside you. 

“We should’ve done this two months ago,” he panted, “could’ve saved me a lot of lonely nights.” 

You smiled blissfully, wiping a strand of sticky hair from your forehead.

Still, you couldn’t wait to have him with you for real. 

[docholligay]

The Time Traveler’s Bullshit

@katrani comissioned me to write out my full review of The Time Traverler’s Wife, my most hated book of the year thus far, and I feel like it won’t be dethroned. nearly 3,000 words and I skipped a whole section I was going to write about, ENJOY

Three dollars and ninety nine cents will buy you a Big Mac. It will buy you four hours of downtown parking in my city. Three dollars and ninety-nine cents will buy you a latte made with burnt coffee at Starbucks. For Three dollars and ninety-nine cents, I can get a can of terrible beer and have a dollar left over for tip. All of which would have been a better choice than what I ultimately spent that three dollars and ninety-nine cents on, which was this book. 

I am careful to read hyped books out of their time, so that I’m not influenced by something that has been so lauded no book could ever hope to reach those heights. So when this first came around, and I saw many women talking about how much they had loved it, I figured I would just read it later. I buy books used, so this is generally what I do even outside of worrying about being affected. 

I finally picked this book up after a reader of mine told me it reminded them of my writing. 

After reading it, several years after all the hype, I have one question: Are women who fuck men okay? 

(“Why not just straight women, Doc?” you may rightly ask me, and I, unfortunately, am forced to answer that I know a number of bisexual women who also enjoyed this book, leading me to believe that the trouble is far worse than previously imagined.)

I found this book to be borderline insulting, and if I didn’t know any better, I would have claimed this book was written by a man. The entire way through I felt the constant assault of the idea that this reminded someone of ME. What have I been doing wrong all my life, I asked? I should probably give up writing. 

Let’s go into the book itself!

The core of the novel hinges around the idea that Henry goes through time without wanting to and with no consious conrol, and so in a sense lives his life out of order. This is a fascinating idea but for the fact that book’s main hinge is the relationship between Clare and Henry. 

Who Henry meets, as an adult out of time, when she is six. 

And proceeds to groom her to be his wife someday. 

Oh, it isn’t put that way, of course, it’s simply that they end up married and so, I suppose the author might say, it’s only natural that Henry interact with her when he comes the “the Meadow” nearby where she lives. But this sort of “things are already decided” that the author is extremely fond of does not remove this intensely squicky framework from their relationship. Henry begins with Clare when she is six years old, and it comes on VERY fast that they are supposed to get married. She is at a sleepover, still as a literal child, ELEVEN YEARS OLD, when the Ouija board spells out his name as the boy who likes her. 

The book takes pains to describe how he won;t have sex with her until she’s 18, but how difficult it is for a thirties to forties man not to have sex with her when she’s 15, 16, 17. I want to say there might be a part where he describes it when she’s 14, but I can’t find it in the book right now, so we’ll pretend it’s not there. “But they’re married in the furute!” one might say, listen if my wife had to resist having sex with sixteen year old me, and didn’t see me as a fucking child, I would think she was gross. It’s gross for a thirty-something to forty -something dde to struggle not to fuck a teenager, period, end of story. 

All of this is wrapped in the book’s idea that this is romantic, instead of the idea that Clare’s “date with destiny” is tragic. She doesn’t ever have a boyfriend, because she is “waiting for Henry”. She sleeps with one of Henry’s friends before he and Clare ever officially “meet” and bursts into tears because she feels as if she has been unfaithful. Meanwhile, Henry is out having girlfriends like no one’s business, and “Well Doc he doesn’t know” why is Clare the one who has to bear this arranged marriage? 

Clare herself even alludes to the way she’s being groomed to be the woman he wants in a way that I DO NOT THINK the author intended, as the author is desperately wrapped up in the idea that this is sexy and romantic and not deeply fucking unsettling. 

Pretentious-ass Henry is dropping German into a casual conversation with a thirteen year old so that you know he is learned and cool, and explain that it’s from Rilke, one of their (note: Not your, but OUR) favorite poets. 

Clare responds: “You’re doing it again!” 

“What?” 

“Telling me what I like.” Clare burrows into my lap with her feet. Without thinking I put my feet on her shoulders, but then that seems too sexual, somehow, and I quickly take Clare’s feet in my hands again and hold them together with one hand in the air as she lies on her back, innocent and angelic with her hair spread nimbus-like around her on the blanket. (Sidebar: I can only fucking imagine that the sort of people that are into this are the sort of people who think nothing at the idea of some Victorian gentleman marrying his attractive young ward, as apparently there’s no problem with having seen someone as a child and then having them marry you! It’s not deeply fucked up at all!)  …..

“Henry?” 

“Yes?”

“You are making me different.” 

“I know.” 

These brief asides are meant to make us feel that Henry has done enough to assuage his guilt, that we are meant to forget that what he is doing is wrong. The book goes so far as to have sixteen year old Clare be the aggressor with a 37 or so year old Henry, as a way of trying to tell us, “Oh look none of this can be Henry’s fault” and an absolutely cringeworthy section where Henry goes and beats up a kid who took Clare on a date and proceeded to assault her. (She dates him to prove she’s not a dyke wow what a great book and thank you for reminding us that Clare never wants to see anyone else for her own sake even as a teenager, very healthy)

All of which would make me a hell of a lot more mad if I managed to like Clare even a little bit. But it’s not at all surprising that I don't--Clare is hardly a character in this story so much as she’s a cardboard cutout that exists for Henry. 

Each of her desires and thoughts revolves around him, from the time she’s a child, save for minor pouting incidents when Henry either won’t tell her something, or disagrees with her. But she always caves, but for the exception of having a child, another horrible thing we’re meant to feel sorry for them in, but I, at least, never really do, as they know the problem, they know how horribly Henry’s life has been affected, and yet they persevere. I find myself asking why in the fuck they don’t use donor sperm, but I suppose that would not fulfill Clare’s real use as being Henry’s vessel. It might have been very touching to write about their experience of infertility if they were likeable at all, or the chapters were anything but flat and emotionless despite dealing with really high-emotion topics. It’s essentially Clare saying “I want a baby inside me” and having a series of miscarriages. I’ve read more compelling narratives on online message boards. 

Not to mention when Henry suggests adopting and Clare says “That would be pretending” bitch fuck ALL THE WAY OFF. I repeat: WE ARE MEANT TO LIKE THIS CHARACTER. NOTHING ABOUT HER IS SHOWN AS A NEGATIVE. 

A fair amount of time in the book is spent describing how hot Clare is, and it’s a bit cringey to read about a super hot redhead with great tits and also rich, who’s a visual artist, and then flip to the back and see a redheaded visual artist as the author. It’s not that I don’t believe that authors are ever allowed to find themselves in a character, quite the contrary, but one hopes that there would be a level of detachment or at least plausible deniability. But no, Clare is nothing but wish fulfillment for the author, but unfortunately cannot fulfill any of ours. I get the sense that these characters are far more complex and layered in Niffenegger’s head, but they fall completely flat on the page, sketches of annoying human beings. 

Clare seems to have been raised in an Austen novel, where the home is noted for its architecture and we ‘dress for dinner’ which could be intensely compelling if they ever went anywhere with it. But we don’t. Because of course Clare’s raising in a straightlaced, extremely wealthy family has no affect on her and she is a very cool girl who is laid back and likes the right music and poetry. (Sidebar: The name dropping in this novel is SO TIRESOME. Every band, artist, poet, etc has to be named and identified so your are aware of how absolutely well-read and smart and cool Niffenegger is) 

The we’re meant to feel for Henry when her family finds out that he is half-Jewish which I suppose is meant to be shocking when he doesn’t practice or isn’t different in any marked way from her family? The character has no Jewishness in him but as a side note and dare I say for shock value. Her family isn’t even written as believably against the union, as no one can resist super cool hipster protag Henry DeTamble (Even his name sounds INSUFFERABLE) 

The problem, of course, is that the very wealthy can buy their way out of many problems, meaning that an author has to have a particular deftness of hand in order to make you feel something for them. This is not that author. Any sympathy one might have for Clare goes immediately out the window when she’s complaining about having only a small room for a studio in which to create, while she’s living off the INTEREST from her trust fund, and hiring a cleaning service because neither of them is willing to vacuum. Not her trust fund. The INTEREST from her trust fund, which means there must be so much fucking money in there we all want to scream. 

Of course, Henry goes into the future and wins the lottery so they can give her a new studio, I shit you not this is a thing that happens in a novel where we are supposedly meant to identify with the characters and feel for them. They buy a nice house with a separate studio in the backyard, not even in the house, just a large brick edifice where Clare can do whatever she wants because these people don’t have consequences until Henry’s death, and by the time he dies, we’re all thanking God that at least there’s one thing they can’t weasel out of. The book has the audacity to have them, later, describe having a private box as one of their “little indulgences” friends a private box is the realm of $1,800 dollars for ONE showing of an opera, and while I am a believer in the good of occasionally saving up to do something that is an experience, there is no way I would describe that as an ‘indulgence” but these people have such wealth that they never need worry about anything at all, except the central point, which is that Henry drifts in and out of time and we would like to sentence a child to that. 

Henry himself is a collection of traits rather than a person--it is so important to the author that we know he is a real punk with great musical taste, that he knows German and poetry and Chicago--it’s all rather a laundry list of the long-haired, tall, punkish but very classically learned boyfriend Niffenegger would like to have rather than someone who has a heart or a mind.  But the luck of it all is that she clearly cares about henry far more than she does Clare, and so he gets a bit of fleshing out with a tragic anime backstory and all that, and from time to time we see bursts of real humanity in his character. 

Their love, even if it were not burdened by the exceptional trouble of CLARE BEING GROOMED AS A CHILD, has the weight of air. Henry is a womanizer with a drug problem, but then he meets Clare, hot rich redhead who proves she’s known him her whole life, and suddenly the magic swelling violins are in the background, love has found its day, and no more is ever said about it.The book refuses to get anywhere deep into how they feel about things and why, it is only glancing blows that seem to suggest an emotion rather than allowing ourselves to get into their minds.  

The bulk of the description of their love is sex. Sex sex sex. I get it, they are hot for each other, I am trying very hard to get over the fact that they are married when Clare is 22 and Henry is thirty, but you’re giving me nothing to pin their relationship on but the fact that they enjoy railing each other and Henry has been around since Clare was a child. I don’t understand the why of their relationship even once, it all seems so accidental, and I wanted there to be a lesson, or something to be said about humanity and relationships, but I found nothing save for maybe the idea that women are fully engrossed in their relationships and men basically luck into them and then drop out from time to time? But even that is far far deeper than I think the novel deserves credit for. 

The side characters are somehow worse, mainly racist stereotypes or one note characters who ALSO exist to have their lives enhanced by the protagonists. Even their friends only exist so that Gomez can have the hots for Clare for years, because Everyone Wants To Bone Clare. 

The writing itself is terrible too, written in the style of a script, almost, rapidly shifting between first person narratives in a matter of one or two paragraphs, often, helpfully telling who is talking by, I shit you not, putting “CLARE:” or “HENRY:” before the paragraphs, so we can enjoy who it is that is navel gazing and picking over the conversation without saying anything really, save for how badly Henry wants to fuck his super hot wife, who may or may not currently be a teenager, and how desperately Clare loves him, and has loved him since she was a child, for reasons that remain unclear. 

It’s padded out and ridiculous and reads like some of the drafts when I am being a complete garbage pile, and thank you to the person online who had already typed this out so I didn’t have to:

Henry:

Clare is wearing a wine-colored velvet dress and pearls. She looks like a Botticelli by way of John Graham: huge gray eyes, long nose, tiny delicate mouth like a geisha. She has long red hair that covers her shoulders and falls to the middle of her back. Clare is so pale she looks like a waxwork in the candlelight. I thrust the roses at her. "For you."

Please try to read that with a straight face and get back to me, i could not manage it, and it was early on the book, and this sort of thing goes on for pages, if you don’t like hearing about how pale Clare is, and that she has red hair, her two most dominating character traits, you are in for a very, very rough time. 

The narrative voice of the characters is identical. I mean, I suppose I should thank whatever god is responsible for this clusterfuck for the CLARE and HENRY bits because otherwise I would have no clue who was talking from moment to moment. Does NIffenegger think all people think alike? That their internal monologues are the same? It seems to me she must because I can’t figure any other way that one could write two characters and have them, even when their opinions differ, sound like the exact same person. 

I did enjoy the letter at the end of this story--and this is where I saw where my reader connected me to this book--it almost seems as if it was written for a different novel, a novel about a doomed love between two people that truly loved each other and had rich inner lives. It’s beautiful, or it would be totally removed from this novel. 

This review has, in itself, gotten to be as rambling and listing as the novel, and so I will let it rest here. I read incredibly fast. This took me something like five or six hours to read. It was a waste of every single one of those hours and I wish I had gotten a Big Mac instead. Save yourself, save six hours, save three dollars and ninety-nine cents, and read literally anything else. 

[cosplayinamerica]

The Hat Ghost from The Haunted Mansion // Cosplayer : sharp.shot.efx // Photo : KnowhereCollections

My favorite interactions with people are always when they are absolutely bewildered by what they’re seeing in front of them. Many, many people will ask how I see, and I, not wanting to break character, will always just gesture to the severed head I’m holding. I once had a very small child get increasingly frustrated and he demanded to know exactly where my head was, but no matter how much he asked, my answer always remained the same.

I first came up with the idea for the Hatbox Ghost costume because at the time, I was really into the history and the lore of the Haunted Mansion ride, namely the animatronics and the magic tricks and illusions used on the ride to bring the ghosts to life. I had done a version of the Hatbox Ghost before, albeit one with his head still on his shoulders, but I wanted to challenge myself and design a costume to allow myself to be completely headless.

The costume saw two design phases, first the basis of the costume was a slightly altered headless horseman costume, however, I had many problems with the store bought costume, so I stayed work on the second model, which was of my own design. The basic framework of the costume is a set of false shoulders made of foam that fit over my head and attach to a military backpack frame for weight distribution.

To disguise my head completely, I see from a cutout in the costume just below the neck, through a piece of sheer fabric that I can see through, but people on the outside can’t. The wardrobe was just multiple pieces of clothing with I had distressed and altered to accommodate the rig underneath. I am most proud of the head itself, which was sculpted in clay by me, cast in latex and then airbrushed to give him his infamous grin.

Cosplay has evolved from a small hobby of mine to a full time lifestyle. It surrounds me at all times. The clothes I wear, the accessories I buy, the tools I use, the trinkets I collect, all of those I obtain with a cosplay in mind. I’m very lucky to be working for Kryolan Professional Makeup, as their cosmetics are some of the best for any sort of performance, cosplay included, and working there allows me to hone my skills which I’ll later utilize for cosplay, as well as allowing me to meet costume and makeup professionals working in the local film and TV industry.

Daisho Con is very much a party con. I see it as the con you go to to celebrate the end of con season. There’s a wild energy about it, the venue is incredible, and the people are great (usually). My favorite part of the con has to be the venue, it’s a gorgeous resort and the indoor amusement park adjacent to the con center makes for the perfect place to unwind after a day on the con floor.

[filligan-universe]

Game Review: OCTOPATH TRAVELER (2018)

Wh... wha? Where the hell am I? ..... My knees hurt. My hip hurts. My back can’t straighten anymore. No, I’m not dying of old age I think! I’ve been on the couch for way too goddamn long. I’m not fifteen anymore, you guys. I can’t sit and play KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC for like 20 hours and then get up and, I dunno, make a sandwich. But I just lost seventy hours of my life to a video game without doing much else in my life. (That’s not entirely true but it’s true enough). And I’m not finished with OCTOPATH TRAVELER, but I had a moment last night where, after losing to a boss three times before finally beating it, I realized three hours of my life had been extinguished without me noticing a second. So, a bit of a revelation struck me, and while I haven’t totally finished the game and intend to return, I’m forcing myself to take a break.

I’m not even a JRPG guy. I tried to think of the last one that snatched my attention so ruthlessly and I think it was GOLDEN SUN. The first one. On the Gameboy Advance. I turned that sucker on after I got it Christmas morning 2001 and didn’t see the sky again until I was a man. But seriously folks, what the fuck’s going on with me? I don’t have the time for games like this! I purposefully avoid games like SKYRIM because I specifically do not have the time or willpower or attention span to dedicate meaningful hours to it. And OCTOPATH is doing several things wrong as far as good RPGs go -- things that GOLDEN SUN did better seventeen years ago. But OCTOPATH has a certain hook in the pleasure centres of my brain, so amongst its issues it has perfected a gameplay formula that won’t let me go.

I didn’t pay attention to too much of OCTOPATH’s marketing. Once I saw the announcement, I knew I’d buy it because I’ve been craving an RPG in my life lately and the graphical gimmick OCTOPATH brandishes is so goddamn charming and consistently intoxicating. But from what I remember, OCTOPATH was sold to the masses as “Play whatever adventurer’s journey you want! There’s eight of them, motherfucker! Hey! And you know what? If you want, you can play them all on one save file! Or don’t, whatever, it’s what you make it!” I may be wrong on this assessment, but I don’t think I am, and it’s kind of a misdirect. You almost need to start and level up at least four characters to have a chance.

And the stories themselves? Okay, this might sound harsh, but OCTOPATH may be the worst writing in a video game I have ever experienced. Every character is a cardboard cutout of the fantasy RPG trope that exude their respective stereotypes with pride. The dialogue sections are slow and repetitive and I couldn’t take it by the end anymore -- I’d started to skip cutscenes because they’re not actual cutscenes, they’re pixels with dialogue bubbles that contain things like “......” or “...” or “...?!” And I get it, folks, I get it: that’s JRPGs for you, but holy god the writing is so bad. So stupid. 

OCTOPATH shines in three areas: the graphical presentation that deceptively pushes the Unreal 4 engine, the charming music, and the combat system. I’ve played my fair share of RPGs and I’ve seen turn-based schticks before. Some of my favorite combat schemes include PAPER MARIO, which varied based on your weapon of choice and included timed button prompts, and CHILD OF LIGHT, which focused on you and your enemies on a speed timeline with the goal of affecting said timeline to strike as often as possible. OCTOPATH takes that timeline idea, simplifies it, and boils the goal of combat down to breaking your enemies. Find what your enemies are weak against, then knock their defenses down to “break” them -- then they lose a turn. Sounds simple, but the depth this strategy can go is shocking, and where I found the game was engaging me most. Big, powerful bosses in particular, which can change or lock down vulnerabilities on the fly, kept me problem-solving. This may be what kids today do when they’re old instead of the crossword puzzle. 

Despite the brazen repetition in the game’s story progression -- every story beat (4 per character) is agonizing dialogue sequences, then a cave/dungeon sequence against strong enemies, then a boss battle -- the combat is what kept the game from feeling too samey, because encounters were random and your strategy would have to adjust with each fight. Additionally, you had to take the specific character along for their story beats, and each character has impressively different movesets, so the combat was constantly different and new. Even now that I’ve finished the final chapters for all eight characters, I’m still finding side quest bosses that are utterly testing my competence. 

Another thing that marries well with the breaking gimmick is each of your characters have a BP meter. You gain one BP per round where you don’t previously use any, and you can use up to four BP strikes if you’ve saved up enough. For standard attacks, BP allows you to attack as many times as you’ve used BP. For magical attacks, extra BP stacks the damage you deal massively. So if you’ve got a boss with a 12 defense, you now have to strategize how best to quickly break, who in your team has the tools do to so and how to max their BP quickly so they can get the job done. I know it all sounds convoluted. Even the tutorial videos Nintendo published prior to launch made the combat sound convoluted. But experiencing it is streamlined. The best kind of gameplay: easy to understand, difficult to master. You can’t switch your brain off, and I guess my brain appreciates the endorphins and adrenaline because I’ve been playing for seventy goddamn fucking hours.

If there is a downside to this combat system, it’s that you’re likely to lose difficult fights on the first go because you’re wasting time trying to figure out their vulnerabilities. And enemies, especially high-level bosses, will exploit every inefficient choice you make. Break big and often and you’ll maintain the advantage, but if you’re desperately trying all of the twenty-odd attack types to find out weaknesses, you’re probably gonna lose. 

One last thing before I try to stop thinking about this game: side quests. These often feel shoehorned into the game, and most of them require a bit of memory work (there’s that crossword puzzle again!) trying to recall who needs what and what town/city they’re in. Most are solved by inquiring or stealing from literally every NPC you come across. I’ve completed side quests as soon as I started them because I’d stolen the needed item beforehand without even knowing what it was for. Some side quests result in boss fights, and those are the best, but most of the time the process feels vague -- like trying to play the game through a fog. The side quest menu, also, is shockingly unintuitive for a JRPG, or any kind of RPG. Side quests have been a thing for forever. I barely remember how GOLDEN SUN tackled them, but I’m pretty sure it did them better. 

[droneseco]

Bietrun WXM22 Review: The Rode Go Competitor That Costs Just $99

Bietrun WXM22

8.00 / 10

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See on amazon

Bietrun has introduced a new entry in the wireless microphone system that looks to give its competitors a run for their money.

Key Features

Latency free wireless transmission

Built-in internal microphone

15 levels of gain adjustment for the receiver and transmitter

50m (164ft) range

50 UHF Adjustable channels

Specifications

Brand: Bietrun

Type: Wireless UHF

Power: 650 mAh rechargeable batteries

Battery: 5 Hours

Connector: 1/8'' Output, Headphone Jack

Pros

Easy to setup and pair

Long range with minimal cutouts at further distances

Includes a dual USB-C cable in the box

Includes both a TRS and a TRRS cable

Built in internal mic

Cons

Glossy plastic finish is prone to scratches and smudges

Monitoring volume through receiver is too low and unreliable

Slight hissing sound persistent over wireless transmission

Buy This Product

Bietrun WXM22 amazon

Shop

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The Bietrun WXM22 costs $99 for its 1 transmitter and 1 receiver, half the price of the big-name Rode Wireless Go. While the price is in Bietrun’s favor, does it cut too many corners as a result?

This will primarily be a microphone system picked up by content creators who are either looking to record themselves or others’ audio wirelessly, but it can also be an extremely useful way to also wirelessly transmit any other audio source with zero latency. This is especially important when you need to listen to a live audio feed without delay, say for example while watching TV or even recording live instruments.

With my experience as a content creator and videographer who has used similar systems as well as other microphone solutions, how does this hold up, and does it get the job done?

Be sure to check out the video review as well to hear the quality of the internal microphone, the included lapel, as well as several comparisons to other solutions. As I’ll share and explain throughout this review, the Bietrun does in fact offer great value, however, there are additional tools and tips I highly recommend also implementing with this setup to maximize its performance and functionality.

What's Included?

The packaging is pretty minimal but lacks the flashiness we’ve come to expect from other brands trying to copy Apple’s simple, yet sleek box design. That said, the gold product name on the box is rather nice looking and contrasts the otherwise bland box. Opening it up, you’ll find one receiver and one transmitter hidden under the manual and warranty card.

There is a second box inside labeled accessories which includes:

TRS to TRS cable

TRRS to TRS cable

Dual USB-C to USB A charging cable

Carrying pouch

The included TRRS to TRS cable is very important to highlight as this is necessary to allow for recording and connectivity to most mobile devices. And while these cables are cheap and easy to purchase separately, it's great to see one already included in the box, especially as this is marketed as a system that works with phones and tablets.

Notably missing, however, is a dead cat windbreak for the internal microphone. This perhaps isn’t as important for indoor use, but as I share in the outdoor examples in the review video, it is especially useful for windy situations.

Setting Them Up

Powering both the transmitter and receiver is quick and within a few moments they both pair to each other automatically (assuming they’re both set to the same channel frequency).

The transmitter and receiver do not actually record any audio on their own, instead, using radio frequencies, they simply send any audio source being heard from the transmitter and the receiver picks it up.

In addition to the internal microphone or the included lapel microphone, you can also choose to connect any other 3.5mm source as your input. From here, you need to connect the receiver to something that can either record or monitor audio via its audio out jack.

Most will likely just directly connect this to their camera’s input jack if they’re recording video as well. This is the most convenient way as you won’t have to sync up your audio later in post-production. I personally choose to go through an external audio recorder (in my case, the Zoom H1n) instead of my camera directly for a few reasons. In addition to giving me a backup audio source, as I always have my trusty Comica VM20 boom mic running, it also provides higher quality audio files and is easier to monitor.

Speaking of monitoring, this might be the biggest downside to the Bietrun receiver. From my tests, I found plugging in headphones directly into the transmitter to monitor your levels could be very misleading. Although the transmitter and receiver offer 15 levels of gain adjustment, five times more than the Rode Wireless Go’s meager three levels, it's hard to actually hear that difference while monitoring from the transmitter. Audio from the headphone monitoring port is very low and will lead you to think that your overall recording is low too. When I monitor instead from my external recorder or even my camera using their headphone jack, it is drastically louder.

While visually the red indicators shown on the audio levels warn users, the risk with auditory monitoring via the Bietrun receiver is that users won’t realize how loud their volume really is and in turn, they are more likely to be clipping and ruining their entire audio recordings.

If you don’t already have one, my recommendation again, especially if you want the most control and highest possible audio recordings, is to pick an external audio recorder so you can easily adjust and monitor your gain to target the safe -12db to -6db range.

Bietrun WXM22 Specifications

The Bietrun WXM22 has 50 UHF radio bands, giving users ample choices to avoid interference from other audio sources.

  The range is rated for 50 meters or 164 feet. In the video review, I provide a sample range test in an open field, but as I note, it's hard to realistically simulate its performance compared to if you were in an area with an abundance of other wireless frequencies while social distancing.

While I was able to get very minimal dropouts even with my back turned to the transmitter at about 100 or so feet away, it’s hard to tell how well this would perform in the presence of other wireless frequencies.

The transmitter and receiver each have a 650mAh rechargeable battery, which is rated to last about five hours long. This is about average for this category of device, but still two hours less than what the Rode Wireless Go offers. Charging is simple with the included dual-USB-C cable that is included. It’s great to see more companies ditching micro USB and even worse, proprietary charging/connectivity ports.

USB-C is far more convenient and becoming a standard for most devices. When you consider that the transmitter and receiver are likely going to drain their battery at about the same rate, it makes sense to include a USB-C cable that can charge both at the same time.

That said, despite their smaller battery sizes, charging times are a little slow at about three hours each. Unfortunately, faster PD (power direct) chargers are not supported and won’t charge the devices at all.

On the other hand, charging from power banks is possible and adds to the convenience of this system.

Wireless microphone systems have come a long way in the past few years. When I first began my videography career, I relied heavily on a big and clunky system by Saramonic to record audio for weddings. These were about the size and weight of walkie-talkies and felt just as dated too.  Today’s systems, including the WXM22, are significantly more convenient. In addition to having built-in rechargeable batteries and a screen to monitor and adjust your settings, they are significantly lighter and smaller too. At about 40 grams each, the receiver and transmitter are collectively smaller than the one old Saramonic I once used.

Likewise, you’ll notice that you don’t need to attach an antenna, nor do you need a separate volume preamp. That said, these are still about seven grams heavier than the Rode Wireless Go. You’ll be hard-pressed to notice that weight difference, but it's a testament to how much more compact and lightweight a premium price tag gets you.

Functionality

No Dead Cats…

Like I noted earlier, a dead cat was not included in the box, nor has the internal microphone really been designed to accept a 3rd party one. The dead cat works to minimize the low-frequency hiss and harsh sounds from wind passing against the microphone. Indoors and under more controlled environments that lack wind will be fine, however, if you plan on using the internal microphone specifically outdoors a lot, this may not be the best choice.

Changing channels is a simple three-step process. Just click the settings button and use the volume + or - buttons to select the new desired channel. Confirm the selection on each by once again clicking the settings button. Complete this process on both the transmitter and receiver to select the same channel. Aside from the transmitter having its internal mic and external mic port at the top, they also differ in the location of the power button as well as the side of the USB C port. The transmitter and receiver have the same volume and dual settings/mute button layout at the bottom. It would have been nice for the similarities to also include the placement of the power button too. When you’re in a rush or muscle memory kicks in, you’ll tend to look for the power button at the top of each, as that’s the most intuitive location.

The monitors display your gain, audio levels, channel, and signal strength. They seem to be bright enough for most indoor and outdoor situations. It would be nice to be able to change or completely disable the screen dimming time-out, though. Especially if you are using these outdoors and are monitoring your levels and status frequently, it can be a little annoying to have to press a button each time you want to brighten up the screen so it's more readable.

Build quality is alright but definitely not impressive. The all-plastic build isn’t necessarily bad, however, it does feel rather cheap. In my few weeks of use, they have both been picked up scratches on the front. What’s worse and rather annoying is the glossy finish, including on the front and display. The receiver and transmitter are fingerprint magnets. Funny enough, filming the B-roll and taking the photos for this review were made especially difficult because of how easily this picked up my prints.

2-in-1 Clips

Now, this is a great design choice. The same rear clips which allow you to attach the transmitter to a shirt waistband also doubles as a hot shoe mount. This eliminates the need for additional adapters when you want to mount both to your camera or other compatible hot shoe gear.

Best Uses for the Bietrun WXM22

What are the best and most practical uses for this system? Whether you’re looking to record your own tech or YouTube videos, producing a podcast, or conducting an interview, when wireless and latency-free audio recording is a priority, this system is the way to go.

Furthermore, while this system won’t necessarily yield the best audio quality, it takes the lead with convenience first. Especially if you are a one-person crew in charge of BOTH video and audio recording, the simplicity and ease of setup to get your audio reliably transmitted is great. In terms of why this isn’t the “best” quality, it comes down to two main reasons.

First off, there is a persistent low volume hiss when wireless transmitting your audio. This was present in all my tests including indoors, outdoors, switching channels, recording through the Zoom H1n as well as through my Sony a7siii. Noise reduction clean-up in Adobe Audition was able to minimize it, however not completely eliminate it. In addition to this being an extra and time-consuming step, not all users have access or experience with these software tools.

The second reason is that the internal microphone and included lapel are not going to be able to compete in terms of sound quality compared to a dedicated $100 microphone that is JUST a microphone. The internal microphone isn’t the best choice for recording individual voices as it picks up more external noises compared to a lapel or a super-cardioid boom mic which is designed to focus on just the sounds it is pointing at.

Surprisingly, I found the internal microphone to actually sound much better than the lapel. The lapel sounded too warm and a tad muffled for my liking. While the internal microphone did pick up more unwanted room noise, it sounded the most natural. That all said, those two points do not suggest that this Bietrun system is a bad choice, but rather that the convenience and cost savings it offers come with some disadvantages.

Luckily, with the exception of the slight hiss sound, you can easily improve the quality of the mics themselves by connecting and using any other one that is compatible with the transmitter’s 3.5mm jack.

Beyond Recording Audio

Going back to a point I shared near the beginning of this review, this is also a very useful tool for recording or transmitting any other audio source without latency. The best examples of this include watching TV and even playing instruments. Compared to even the best APT-X Bluetooth headsets and transmitters, they simply can’t compete with the latency-free experience offered by these radio transmissions.

Using the Bieitrun WXM22, I can now record keys, drums and guitar live and monitor it wirelessly with great quality, something I’ve never experienced before. This dramatically adds to the value and functionality of this system.

Too Many Corners?

My experience with the Bietrun WXM22 has been pretty good. With its low price, I was a little skeptical at first and thought it would cut too many corners making it more of a hassle to use than it was worth.

Its $99 price does come with some drawbacks, however, if you’re on a tighter budget many of its issues have workarounds that may make it the better value choice for you. With the savings compared to its big-name competitors you can invest in a better microphone to connect to and a dedicated external audio recorder as well. Pairing these three purchases will give you an overall more complete and even better recording and monitoring experience.

Bietrun WXM22 Review: The Rode Go Competitor That Costs Just $99 published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

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Everyday Carry Gift Guide - 10 Perfect EDC Stocking Stuffers

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/everyday-carry-gift-guide-10-perfect-edc-stocking-stuffers/

Everyday Carry Gift Guide - 10 Perfect EDC Stocking Stuffers

Dashing through the snow, but make it practical.

The great thing about everyday carry (EDC) gifts like wallets, watch straps, and keychains is that they’re small enough to fit in a stocking, so they don’t look like they’re a big deal, but at the same time they’re durable, stylish, and something you know that they’ll use on a daily basis. 

That means they’re perfect to get for those difficult individuals who refuse to tell you what they want or, even worse, tell you to get them nothing (because that’s ever a viable option).

I’ve come into contact with a lot of products over the past 12 months. Very few of them actually make it into my regular EDC rotation. These are the few that I find myself reaching for again and again.

Wallets

The Ridge Wallet

Ridge Wallet – 18k Gold Plated

BUY FROM THE RIDGE WALLET

My favorite thing about the Ridge Wallet is all the varieties you can get. Want to get a titanium wallet to match your titanium Apple Card? Go for it. Is carbon fiber your thing? Ridge has that as well. Maybe you prefer gold because gold is best. There’s an 18k-plated version just for those who want as much bling as possible. I’m a big fan of the damascus steel version because it reminds me of the Beskar steel everyone pines after in The Mandalorian.

But the style on the outside is only part of the story. The Ridge Wallet blocks RFID, making it ideal for keeping your cards safe. The elastic is stainless-steel reinforced, so it’ll last as long as the wallet itself. And if you need to make room for more cards, you switch out the elastic for a larger band. The Ridge Wallet is durable, stylish, easy to use, and feels great in hand.

Ekster Aluminum Cardholder

Ekster Aluminum Cardholder

BUY FROM EKSTER

Ekster’s latest eschews the bull leather exterior of their previous wallets and offers up a slim, attractive, RFID-blocking aluminum cardholder that can hold from one to six cards. With the pull of a trigger, your cards pop up beautifully, ready to grab. The trigger is nicely integrated into the footprint of the wallet so it won’t snag or activate accidentally. 

The interior of the cardholder has rubber nibs on one side to keep your cards from sliding out. Though if you have a heavier card like the Apple Card, a hard shake can pop it out unexpectedly. Maybe put that in the elastic-attached backplate that gives you room for an additional nine cards, some cash, or maybe even their own Chipolo-powered wallet tracker. It comes in a number of attractive, understated colors that match really nicely with the latest iPhone 12 Pro line.

iPhone Leather Wallet

iPhone Leather Wallet with MagSafe – California Poppy

BUY FROM APPLE

If you really want to minimize your EDC, then you’ll want to grab the MagSafe-enabled Apple iPhone Leather Wallet. It pops onto the back of your iPhone 12 (regular, mini, Pro, or Pro Max) seamlessly. There’s even a satisfying little “thunk” noise that plays and your iPhone screen displays an indicator for a successful attachment. It’s a surprisingly satisfying process. It even works if you have a MagSafe case on your iPhone (though Apple has warned that using the wallet with their leather cases can mar the leather of the case). 

The one thing to keep in mind is that this is exclusively for those that limit themselves to the slimmest of slim EDCs. The iPhone Leather Wallet is awesome if you want to minimize the amount of stuff in your pockets, but especially if you have a large heavy card like the Apple Card, you’re only going to be able to get three-to-four cards in the wallet before it’s packed too tightly to get cards out using the rear thumb cutout. Still, if you’re looking for a wallet that conveniently attaches to your iPhone and is color-coordinated with your phone or its case, there’s honestly no one else making a product like this.

Keychains

Orbitkey Cactus Leather Organizer

Key Organiser Cactus

BUY FROM ORBITKEY

While digital car keys are quickly becoming a thing, chances are the majority of you still have a key fob that you need to carry around for your vehicle. But there’s no reason to be stuck with a boring, jangly keychain. Why not get something stylish and multi-functional? 

The Orbitkey organizer holds a few keys, plus an available multitool, and an available Chipolo tracker, all in an extremely grabbable loop made from a truly unusual material—cactus leather. This plant-based leather is, you guessed it, made from cactus leaves. The resultant material is more environmentally friendly than leather, sustainable, and feels just as nice as regular leather. Rotate the keys out of the loop when you need them, then rotate them back when you’re done. There’s no jingling, no keys scratching up your wallet or phone.

Orbitkey Clip v2

Orbitkey Clip v2

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The Key Organizer is nice, but if you need regular access to your keys, something that lives in your pocket might not be the right choice. For you, there’s the Orbitkey Clip v2. This zinc-alloy carabiner clip has a magnetic attachment that allows you to quickly remove the D-shaped keyring from the clip. It’s a much more elegant solution than digging through your bag for a keyring that’s inevitably sunk to the bottom. 

The large keyring can easily accommodate the thick ring openings of vehicle key fobs and works with Orbitkey’s Key Organizer as well in case you’d like to use both.

Covid Carry

Sanikind Mini

Sanikind Mini

BUY FROM SANIKIND

The pandemic being what it is, not many of us leave the house without sanitiser of some sort. That doesn’t mean it has to be some sad squeeze bottle or one-use disposable. The Sanikind Mini is an eco-friendly refillable spray sanitizer that does its job without looking like a reject from the local bath supply warehouse. 

Made from ocean-bound recycled plastic (i.e. plastic that’s been recovered within 50km of waterways and thus more likely to end up in the ocean), the Sanikind Mini comes in an array of stylish colors. It ships empty, but includes a funnel so that you can fill it up with Sanikind’s own liquid spray sanitizer (shipped in equally eco-friendly recyclable aluminum bottles) or whatever sanitizing liquid you prefer. The included carabiner makes it easy to clip onto a belt loop or bag strap for easy access. When you just can’t avoid contact with someone or something, it’s reassuring to have one of these stashed on your person. The Sanikind Mini holds 1 oz. of sanitizer, equivalent to around 460 sprays.

Leatherman Clean Contact Carabiner

Antimicrobial Brass Carabiner

BUY FROM LEATHERMAN

Add this to the list of items that I never would have expected to need before 2020 but now can’t live without. The Leatherman Clean Contact Carabiner is a multitool made of microbial-resistant copper alloy. The hook is perfect for snagging door handles. The rounded tip is great for pushing buttons without damaging them (something store owners will appreciate). It can also be pressed into service as a table hook, letting you hang a bag from the carabiner without having to put it on the ground. And, of course, there’s a bottle opener. Because we all need bottle openers this year. 

The removable clip lets you attach it to your pocket, hang it on a lanyard, or stick it with your keys. Finally, no more staring at door handles, doing some quick theoretical math as to what part of the handle has most likely been touched by other people.

UA Sportsmask

UA SPORTSMASK

BUY FROM UNDER ARMOUR

Don’t  settle for a flimsy paper mask that sticks to your face or a cheap cloth mask that doesn’t fit right. The UA Sportsmask isn’t just a good mask for working out, it’s a great mask, period. Made with performance fabrics, it dries quickly and is extremely breathable. The best part might be how it has internal structure so that it doesn’t rest against your lips and mouth. Talk away without worrying about the mask getting stuck on your lips and slipping off your nose. 

The Sportsmaks is water resistant on the outside and built with UA’s cooling fabric on the inside. Less of an issue in the winter months, but something not to be dismissed for when it gets warmer. The middle layer of the mask is antimicrobial, so you don’t have to worry about constantly washing it to keep it fresh. Though, when you do wash it, it dries fairly quickly. Just make sure you measure carefully before choosing a size, as the fabric ear loops aren’t adjustable. It comes with a convenient storage bag, so you can stash it away when it isn’t in use. It comes in several attractive colors, from staid black to flashy red.

Watch Straps  

Nomad Sport Strap

Cases & Accessories

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Nomad continues to make my favorite watch straps outside of Apple’s official straps. They’re durable, attractive, and stylish without being gaudy or staunch. They’re exactly the kind of strap you need to elevate the style of your Apple Watch. Their latest, the Sport Strap is a variation of another favorite of mine, the Rugged Strap. 

It’s made from ultra-high quality FKM rubber. It doesn’t break down under high heat, won’t be cracked or discolored by exposure to chemicals (like sunscreen), and is, of course, waterproof. Ventilation channels in the strap keep moisture from building underneath the strap, making it the perfect companion for whatever activity you’re engaging in this holiday season. It cleans up quickly, dries even quicker, and looks good enough to leave on your wrist all the time.

Nomad Modern Strap

Apple Watch Natural Leather Band, Modern Black Hardware

BUY FROM NOMAD

As much as I love the Sport Strap, I’ll admit that there are times when a rubber band, no matter how nice it looks, just can’t compare to a good leather watch strap. Nomad’s Modern Strap now comes in a stunning natural leather, giving you even more options to coordinate your strap and your outfit. 

The undyed Horween leather will develop a natural patina over time, making the strap as unique as the person who wears it. The stainless steel hardware will last for as long as you need it to, probably longer than you own your current Apple Watch.

From Consumer Tech in Perfectirishgifts

[the-desolated-quill]

The Snowmen - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

The Snowmen has got to be the least Christmassy Christmas special ever, and believe it or not I mean that in a positive way. Doctor Who Christmas specials have always left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, not just because most of them have been poorly written and just plain idiotic, but also because every year the show seems determined to drown you in slush. To its credit, The Snowmen does manage to escape that somewhat, keeping the slush to a minimum. Okay the villain is ultimately defeated by ‘a family crying at Christmas’, but it never comes off as mawkish and there is actually a decent in-universe explanation for how that worked, so I’ll allow it just this once.

So who are the villains? A deadpan Richard E. Grant and some carnivorous snow voiced by Ian McKellen. Compared to other Christmas special villains, they’re fairly good. Out of the two, Mr. Simian’s character is the weak link because we don’t learn anything about his character or the nature of his relationship with the snow, but Grant’s performance is still pretty good and it holds your attention. Ian McKellen also does a decent job with the material he’s been given, and I do like the idea of alien snow, even if the bitey snowflakes and smiling snowmen were a bit gigglesome (and the less said about the bad CGI ice governess, the better I think). It’s a bit like the robot Santas and killer Christmas trees from the RTD era. It’s silly, but it’s enjoyably silly. And as an added treat for us classic series fans, it turns out this episode is actually an origin story for the Great Intelligence. Usually you can see Moffat’s plot twists coming several galaxies away, so I was kicking myself that I didn’t pick up on it the first time. Particularly considering how the hints and Easter Eggs are so obvious on rewatches. The Snowmen as in The Abominable Snowmen and the Yeti. A disembodied voice trying to gain a physical form. The map of the London Underground. The snow is being kept in a giant sphere inside Simian’s office. And of course the initials GI. So yeah, that was a nice callback.

All in all, this could have been a fairly decent Christmas special. Nothing to write home about, but still watchable. Unfortunately The Snowmen is ruined by one thing and that’s the characters. Good fucking God are they horrendous!

Let’s start with the Doctor. After losing Amy and Rory, he has decided that he doesn’t want to travel or help people anymore and is now living above England on a cloud as a lonely old miser.

Fuck off! Not in this universe nor in any other universe would this EVER happen!

You may recall a couple of years ago when I reviewed the RTD era that I really didn’t like the Doctor’s reaction when he lost Rose. it just felt too human and it didn’t really gel with his character. He’s lost companions before. He mourns, but he moves on. Why would Rose be any different? But credit where it’s due, at least the Doctor kept travelling through time and space rather than stay in once place and sulk because RTD knew that that at least is something the Doctor would definitely never do. Here... I mean you can’t even use the excuse that the Doctor was in love with Amy. I’m not saying he wouldn’t be emotionally affected by what happened. I’m just questioning why he would be this emotionally affected to the point where he would actually refuse to help people in need. It just feels totally out of character.

Plus it really does display just how arrogant Moffat is. Of course it would be his characters that caused the Doctor to sink into a deep depression and only his character can bring him out of it. And of course his characters are what inspired the creation of Sherlock Holmes, which he will later adapt in his god awful Sherlock TV show. Christ Moffat, I hope you’ve got plenty of tissues to clean the mess up with after you’ve finished wanking yourself.

Matt Smith doesn’t help matters. His turn as a reclusive miser just isn’t in the least bit convincing, but at least it’s preferable to when he magically makes a full recovery and reverts back to his obnoxious goofy self. This is the Doctor now everyone. A man who has arguments with his own hand and sexually molests Punch and Judy dolls. (Sigh. Only 11 episodes to go Quill. Just hang on).

We also see the return of the Paternoster Gang. A group of one dimensional, unfunny cardboard cutouts that people really seem to like for some reason. Strax is by far the worst, with each bad joke and moment of incompetence driving another nail into the coffin of the Sontarans forever. (But wait, isn’t Strax supposed to be dead? Ah fuck it! Everybody knows death is only a minor inconvenience in the Moffat era. Who cares if it ruins the impact of future deaths or that it completely contradicts Sontaran lore. Just laugh at the Doctor calling him a potato, something the Doctor would also never do because I’m sure that’s racist to Sontarans). And Vastra and Jenny have the same problems as every other Moffat woman in that they have no character or agency of their own. They exist solely to help the Doctor. Also Jenny is in a dominatrix outfit for some reason, and they openly talk about being gay. Two things that would definitely have caused shock and outrage in the rigid and repressed Victorian era.

Actually that’s one thing that really pisses me off about New Who and this episode in particular. None of it is true to the period. Clara is completely contemporary in both her outlook and behaviour, and everything unsavoury about the period is dismissed with the Doctor’s sneer of ‘Victorian values.’ Yes this is the Victorian era, but it’s the Victorian era you’d find on the front of a Christmas card. It’s very easy to just sneer at a period of history and congratulate ourselves for how much better we are today, but why not actually explore the era properly? What’s that saying? The past is like another country? Let the audience see that. Why not have Clara behave like a woman during the Victorian era would and have the Doctor come in to challenge that? Have the episode be a clash of different attitudes and values.

Speaking of Clara, she is by far the worst thing about this episode. I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse than Oswin in Asylum Of The Daleks, but boy was I wrong. She is just insufferable. She’s really smug and smarmy and not in the least bit likeable or believable. She’s like River Song, but 10x worse. Also it doesn’t help that Jenna Coleman decides to give Clara this really bad ‘gor blimey guvner! Strike a light! Up the apples an’ pears’ Cockney accent. (Brief side note, why was she keeping the whole nanny thing secret?). I’m certainly not buying her supposed special connection with the Doctor. That’s another thing Moffat is guilty of. He’s so shit at writing female characters that he can’t effectively convey whey they might be so unique in their actions or behaviour, so he has to just flat out tell the audience instead. Well I’m sorry, but that shit just won’t fly. What reason does Clara have for chasing the Doctor’s cab? What reason does the Doctor have for being impressed with Clara despite the fact she’s done nothing remotely noteworthy? What reason does Clara have for snogging the Doctor’s face off despite the two sharing no romantic chemistry whatsoever? Answer: the script said so. Maybe if Moffat spent less time writing stupid scenes like the ‘respond with one word’ interrogation and more time actually developing her character, I might have actually given a shit when she died. (I mean for fuck’s sake, talk about disappearing up your own arse. How the fuck would Clara have known the word ‘Pond’ would have passed the one word test? How does ‘Pond’ convey she needs the Doctor’s help? What is even the fucking point of the one word test other than as a pathetic attempt for Moffat to try and look deep and intelligent as opposed to a pretentious halfwit? God, he’s such a shit writer).

Worse still, despite the fact Moffat had insisted that Series 7 won’t contain a series arc, it turns out Clara constantly dying is going to be a series arc now. So it looks like we’re going to be stuck with this ungodly annoying woman for quite a considerable time. Bugger!

While The Snowmen is considerably less slushy than some of the previous Christmas specials, I unfortunately have to stick this in the bad category along with the likes of Voyage Of The Damned and The Doctor, The Widow, And The Wardrobe due to its terrible characterisation and Moffat’s pretentious, egocentric bullshit.

[bigyack-com]

What Do Gen Z Shoppers Want? A Cute, Cheap Outfit That Looks Great on Instagram

For every Greta Thunberg and school-skipping climate change protester, there is another member of Generation Z buying inexpensive clothes on a smartphone. Their purchasing choices — fueled by influencer culture and catered to by a new wave of ultra-fast-fashion retailers such as Fashion Nova, PrettyLittleThing and Missguided (responsible for a £1 bikini that sold out in Britain) — are as much about how an outfit will look on social media as in the real world. Three Gen Z shoppers in America, Australia and Britain invited us into their homes to talk about what they buy, and why. All of them work after school or save money to pay for their own purchases. Their interviews have been edited for style and clarity.

‘I Browse Every Single Day’

Mia Grantham is a 16-year-old British high school student studying for her A-levels. She lives with her father and her younger sister, Annie, in Wilmslow, England, a town outside of Manchester. Her bedroom is small but immaculately kept, with a bulb-lit dressing table and pillow shaped like a speech bubble reading “You’ve Got This” on her bed. Mia’s interest in buying clothes ramped up about 18 months ago, when she started getting an allowance and attracting followers on her social media accounts. She has more than 1,500 followers on Instagram, gets around 500 views per story on Snapchat and spends three hours per day on her iPhone XR (about five hours on weekends and during vacation). Her favorite going-out look is a red dress. She owns 14 of them.How often do you shop?I browse every single day — at least once — on the Pretty Little Thing phone app. It’s my favorite, and I don’t look anywhere else, except if I see something on an Instagram influencer I like. My current favorite is Molly-Mae Hague, a star from the 2019 series of “Love Island.” She recently created an exclusive clothing range for PLT, which makes me like the brand even more. Normally I look at shopping apps at the end of the day before bed for about 10 to 15 minutes. But if there is an event coming up that I want a new outfit for, then I could browse for more than an hour. I don’t really go to bricks-and-mortar stores. If I do, I go to Primark. Sometimes H&M. Maybe once a month, probably less.What kind of an event needs a new look?It could literally just be a meal. Or a house party, or a friend’s birthday. It could also be school, where we have a dress code but not a uniform.Why is Pretty Little Thing your favorite fashion brand?I pay £8.99 as part of a yearly subscription, which gives me unlimited next-day delivery on anything I buy. I know all the delivery people really well now — they always know when I have plans on a Friday or Saturday night. I don’t buy from places like Boohoo.com or Missguided as I’d have to pay for delivery, which would be a waste of money. I buy something at least once a week, and my basket value can be anywhere from £5.99 up. Once it was £230. Last week I bought 11 items and sent back three. Seventy percent of the time I send some ordered items back.How many pieces of clothing do you think you’ve bought in 2019?Eighty? One hundred? Those are pieces I’ve kept.What is your favorite piece that you’ve bought, and how many times have you worn it?The ones I probably wear the most are gray leggings that cost £2.50. For going out, I bought a silky red dress with a cutout for a house party. It cost £12.50 from the PLT Shape collection, which is for people like me who have an hourglass figure. I’ve worn it out three times, which is a lot for me. Normally I just wear a dress once.Why only once?Because I’ll normally be in photos when I’m wearing it that are then posted on social media. I wouldn’t really want someone seeing me in a dress more than once. People might think I didn’t have style if I wore the same thing over and over. Style is about changing for whatever the situation you are in and for different events.When do clothes become old for you?Well, things like leggings that you just wear in private around the house you can keep for years. Dresses, when you’ve worn them: twice.Is price important?Of course. If I’m only going to wear something once or twice, I’m going to want to buy the cheapest possible.What else do you look for?Social media is a big consideration. I’m on Snapchat and Instagram, and occasionally Facebook. I take selfies for social media every single time I go out, first in my bedroom and post them online, and then always with friends or my boyfriend, Will, when I’m at the party. More people will see an outfit online than they probably will in real life. I’m on Snapchat the most because of its messenger function, then Instagram, where I have both a public and a private account and spend an hour per day.For IRL, if I see an item I like, normally I’ll search for it on Depop before I buy it so I can see what a real person rather than a model looks like in it. People buy and sell fashion so quickly, I can usually find even the newest things on there. Most of my friends do that too.What constitutes a more special purchase for you?An Oh Polly! dress. I buy them for about £20 from Depop, though new they cost about £40 to £60. Those dresses I keep — I have three of them. Teenagers don’t mind buying secondhand clothes like some older people do: You can get good looks at a cheaper price, or directly swap one dress for another online. I tend to sell lots of the clothes I don’t want in big batches on Depop. It gives me the money to buy new things. I also sometimes take big bags to consignment stores in town, where they give you a bit of money for your clothes depending on how much you bring in.Do you ever think about where those clothes go once you’ve given or thrown them away?No.Do you ever look at where your clothes are made?Yes. I’ve noticed quite a few are made in England, which shocked me. I thought they’d all be made in countries like China, India and Bangladesh. Also, we have been learning a bit in Sociology about how our clothes are made and the working conditions for people who make them. In some countries I know they don’t get very good wages. It’s part of globalization. I wouldn’t talk about it with my friends casually, but we do talk about it in the classroom.What do you think of sustainable fashion?It came on my radar three months ago, I’d say. I am hearing more and more about it because a lot of brands are now bringing out sustainable fashion capsule collections, where clothes are made out of recycled materials, for example. A lot look the same as the normal collection but cost a few pounds more. But if I’m honest, I do think: Why would I pay more, when I can get the same for less?

‘I Don’t Like to Repeat’

Andrea Vargas, an 18-year-old freshman at Hofstra University, loves hunting for sales. She looks for them on websites like PrettyLittleThings and Boohoo, as well as physical stores like H&M and Forever 21, where she can flip through the racks and, occasionally, find gems.“I go shopping when the season sales are on,” she said one Saturday night at her family’s home in Farmingdale, N.Y. She commutes to school and spends most weekend nights out with friends: getting dinner, maybe going to a party or a concert. Her plan for this particular evening was to go to P.F. Chang’s with three girlfriends. Her room is small, with wood floors and inspirational quotes in photo frames on her pale yellow walls. A Billie Eilish poster hangs opposite her bed. A guitar she made out of an old skateboard sits in a corner.Scanning the clothes in her room, she began talking about how she got them. “The back-to-school sales, the fall sales, the summer sales,” she said. “I love sales.”Her absolute favorite piece of clothing is a red plush jacket from Forever 21. She wears it relentlessly when the weather is right. “It’s just so cute,” Ms. Vargas said. “I feel like it dresses up an outfit.”Ms. Vargas pays for her clothes herself, using money she earns by working at Target. The red jacket cost her around $40, and she said it was worth every penny. But, she said, “I feel like there’s no point in spending $40 on a T-shirt. I personally feel like if the quality of the shirt doesn’t match the price, it doesn’t make sense for me to buy it. If a jean jacket costs $60 and I can find it for $20, I’m going to buy it for $20. Especially since I’m in college, I need to buy all these books.”Ms. Vargas guessed she had purchased between 100 and 200 items this year, including shoes and jewelry, and that her wardrobe comprises 500 or 600 total pieces. “I would say the majority of it is shirts,” she said. “They have to be graphic tees. I like a little quote on my shirt here and there. I have yet to buy new jeans. I like a lot of ripped jeans. I rarely buy shoes.”She doesn’t generally check where her clothing is made, and she doesn’t feel guilty about how much of it she has. After she’s done wearing something, it can have a second life. “My mom is from El Salvador and my dad is from Nicaragua,” she said. “They’re not wealthy countries, so I like to give back to people who don’t have a lot. It’s hot there, so I can’t send long sleeves, but I try to send shorts that don’t fit me, things that are still presentable and wearable.”She thinks the right amount of money to spend on clothes is $10 to $15 on tops, and $20-$40 on bottoms. For dresses, which are usually for a special occasion, she’ll go over $40. She estimates she wears each piece 15 times before ultimately donating it or selling it on Depop — but she also doesn’t want to be seen wearing the same thing every day on Instagram.“If I have a shirt in one of my previous pictures I try not to take a picture again in it,” she said. “I don’t like to repeat.”Ms. Vargas had invited her friends over to get ready. Alana Wilson, 18, said that Instagram plays a big role in her shopping life, too. The moon-and-stars earrings that sparkled beneath her hair were purchased off an Instagram ad. Almost all of her clothes are from Fashion Nova.“If it’s cute, it’s from Fashion Nova,” Ms. Wilson said. “Any time I have money I’ll do a whole spree on Fashion Nova. I like it because a lot of IG models have it.”Another friend, Sofia Barbetta, also 18, agreed. “I feel like I find most clothes I want to buy in Instagram ads,” she said. “I don’t even follow that many fashion pages, but I see an ad and I’m like, ‘That’s really cute.’”She unlocked her phone to show some outfits she’d posted on VSCO, a photo-sharing app. “I went through a camo pants phase,” she said of one look. “This outfit, I got inspiration from Twitter.” Ms. Barbetta said she’d gotten very into Twitter lately. She started a Post Malone stan account several years ago, but lately it had become a place to post personal things.An hour after Ms. Vargas began getting ready with her friends, she zipped herself into her outfit for the night: a pair of black platform military-style boots from Target, black and white houndstooth pants, and a black off-the-shoulder top from H&M.“I got this outfit yesterday,” she said. “I was like, ‘This is the outfit I’m going to wear.’”But first, her hair. Ms. Vargas propped her iPhone up in front of her and sat cross-legged in front of her mirror. She pulled Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls styler through her waves. “I wanted to get one of those vlogging cameras,” she said, “one of the Nikon ones.” For now, she uses her iPhone.Hours later she used it to Instagram a photo of her and her friends posing outside a restaurant in 50 degree weather. They had decided not to go to P.F. Chang’s after all, and were at Taste of Asia instead. None of them were wearing coats.“Trust me we were freezing,” she declared in the caption. But they were all smiling.

‘I’m Dressing to Be Seen’

Nicole Lambert, 20, lives in Sydney, Australia, with her parents and is studying for an undergraduate degree in public relations and advertising at the University of New South Wales. She tutors students on weekdays and works a retail job on weekends. When she has time off, she and her friends like to dress up and hit the festival circuit. On a recent evening, after spending the previous day dancing to EDM, she and her friend Helena Marshall got ready in her bedroom for a more relaxing dinner.We’re not influencers — but … When I’m dressing to go out, I’m dressing to be seen, which is weird to say because we’re not influencers. It sounds shallow, but I think in the back of your head you’re like: I probably should avoid wearing the same outfit twice.At the end of the day, I prioritize the look versus the practicality. And that’s so unbelievable.Working to be cuteMy friend yesterday at this festival had a really cute Tiger Mist top with hearts all over it, but it had off-the-shoulder sleeves. I felt so bad for her the whole day, because she couldn’t put her arms up. But she got cute photos, so it was fine. I know when you put something up on Instagram and it does well, you’re like, “Well, that was a good choice on my behalf.” I love it when people message, “Where did you get that from?” You know you’ve found something people can’t easily find.Staying relatableI think about what I’m going to post for a decent amount of time. It’s a very curated version of your life. You want to look good in your photo, but have a funny caption so people know you’re down to earth and relatable.That’s why we have private Instagrams, because it gets tiring. That’s where we feel fully free to post whatever. The tragedies of your life. The real me.Keeping it privateOn my main Instagram, people wouldn’t know I’m funny. Because I just overthink what I post: Will people get it? Are people actually going to laugh at that?Sometimes I’ll get a weird feeling where I need to get off social media. I know some people delete their Instagram, like just the app. But that’s admitting to yourself that you have a problem.Leaving shops empty-handedI look for clothes at least once a week usually — either for an occasion, or just as something to do either online or in store. I shop 60 percent online, 40 percent in person. But 75 percent of the time, I’ll go to the shops, have a look around, and not find one thing because I think everything is the same.I’m not afraid to put on something weird. I’m really big into animal print at the moment. Almost to the point where I’ll wear too much of it. I love my snake pants — and flares. Flares should never go out.Princess Polly and Tiger MistFor basics, 100 percent of my wardrobe is from Kookai. They’re always rotating really nice, classic things. I get a lot of stuff off Revolve, because there are so many different brands. You’ve got things there that you’re not going to see five people wearing once you’re out. From other online brands like Princess Polly, Tiger Mist. Sometimes it’s overwhelming how much stuff there is online. I could go on for hours.Often, on Instagram, I’ll scroll through the Explore page, and people just tagging outfits. It’s so helpful because you just click onto the account, find the item. That’s how I find the little niche things.Where were these dresses made?If I feel so amazing in something, I’m probably not going to look too hard into the price. But I don’t like investing a lot of money for something you might not wear too much. I like PrettyLittleThing for crazy things for cheap, because they just do interesting little tops or little dresses, clubbing clothes. Do I look at the labels of clothes? Not really. In the back of my head, I assume that I know where the clothes are made: in China.In terms of how much I would spend: average price of a dress, probably about $180 Australian dollars. Jeans, about $150. A good going out top, $50. I do like a nice pair of heels, so I’ve spent like $200 for a pair. But then again I’ve got ones for $50. In my wardrobe now, I’d say I have roughly 200 pieces.Cycling the wardrobe overseasI do a big spring clean every year and send boxes of clothes over to my family in the Philippines. One of my cousins has a market stall. So I assumed that maybe my stuff would end up there if they didn’t want to keep it for themselves.I would say 30 percent of my wardrobe would get pulled out. Maybe 80 bits of clothes. It makes a good dent.When I pull it all out and you see a big pile of clothes on your floor, you feel a bit sick. I’m glad that I can send it somewhere and it’s helping at least my family.Supporting sustainability — or notI want to support sustainable brands. But if it doesn’t work for me and what I’m doing in my lifestyle, I’m going to go with something else instead.Timing is important. For what I wore to the Listen Out festival yesterday, I ordered on Tuesday morning, it came on Wednesday morning: literally in 24 hours. That means so much to me. I’m the least decisive person and the least patient person. When miniature bags were in, I was obsessed with this one from London. You could get your initials on it. But it said it could take 30 days and I was like, never mind. I got a cute one from Mango.You’re pushing it after seven business days. If it’s a big order I don’t mind waiting for a week. But if it’s one thing, it’s like: Why? Read the full article

[sanaibrahim208-blog]

Collaborating With Craftsmen

It’s dark outside but it’s also windy and it’s also pretty rainy. Everything that defines the perfect night for me, everything but heavy heart. So, instead of sitting by the window, feeling crappy and not appreciating this godly weather, i thought i’d sit down and update you guys about the ‘Affordable-Art Fair’ i posted about earlier. 

This was basically the last week of our minor, for which we had a list of craftsmen we could choose from, and we had to chose one and a pair of us had to work with them and collaborate and come up with something affordable enough for students to be able to buy and interesting enough for students to want to buy.

I’ve always had an interest in Truck Art and Truck Artists, maybe because i’ve grown up seeing them around and have almost aways taken their artwork for granted until i realised how flippin’ hard this is, to paint free hand, no drawings, no reference pictures, no stencil cutouts and any external help, of any kind, whatsoever,  and also, until i saw their entire process of working and decorating their beauties. All of this, i saw and experienced during some research work for the personal study i did for my A’levels Art exam, which i (very proudly) titled ‘Art On Wheels’, little did i know that the 18 year old me was not the first one to coin this term, but hey, i still feel pretty cool about it, no internet person can take that away from me. heh.

Coming back to where we started from, it’s safe to say that i didn’t need time to think when i wanted to chose a craftsman. 

After a lot of deliberation, and a lot of painkillers to survive the last few days of ‘critical practice’, we gave up on trying to figure out what we wanted to create with the artisans, until, the friend who paired up with me, Zeesha, had lost her favourite keychain, and really wanted a new one, so we decided to get her a new favourite key chain, truck art style. 

The last time i came here, i was with my mom, my tutor and a friend, and few other guys, so we weren’t exactly ‘stare central’ for everyone working there, but this time, even being chaddar-clad didn’t really help much. I didn’t really feel unsafe, the poor men just seemed a bit too confused to see me there: a place where you probably wouldn’t even find a female cat roaming around like i was, so a girl, walking in, all alone, as confidently as her anxiety could allow, was just a very bizarre sight for them, which i do understand, it’s not often these men even get to see their wives, let alone any creature other than a man. It’s true, i’m not making this up. 

*yes, i like to think i’m very well versed in the matters of these truck drivers and artists, and yes, i’ve read a book that tells me all about them. AND i’ve had pretty intense heart to hearts with them as well. so yes, i know. trust me.

My absolute favourite is their sticker art. Watching them make those stickers is like watching a machine manufacture art. They’re insanely good, which they kind of should be since most of them start learning by the age of 8. (yes, child labour is very high in these areas of work, the sad reality of which, at least for now, i have no control over) So i knew i wanted sticker art on my keychains. I had my acrylic keychains all ready for them to work their magic on. 

I know keychains are not the most revolutionary idea, but it’s something that i know people collect and enjoy, because i do too, and as far as i knew, the requirement was to create something that sells, and in my head, these were it. So i met with the artists and struck a deal with them to work with me for the next three days, i.e if my keychains got approved.

And got them to work.

Zeesha had gone to another truck artist’s space and we were both going to compare prices and the work to finalise what needed to be done.

The next day, when we showed my tutors, they weren’t all too excited and objected that this was just a keychain, it had no other function. They wanted us to add a mirror or a diary of some sort to one side of the keychain, but somehow, none of that clicked. That entire day, Zeesha and I worked on getting the most out of our brain cells and figure out what to add to the keychain, but whatever it was, it was going to add up to the cost hence elevating the price point, which we couldn’t afford, since our target audience were NCA students. (we make our juniors pay for our water, we sure as hell weren’t going to pay RS.200 for a fancy keychain) In the end, we decided to stick to our originals and get 30 more pieces made. 

Friday - The Affordable-Art Fair

On the day of the fair, while i was setting up, we sold most of our keychains, before i found out our tutors didn’t want us to give away our stuff before the actual ‘start’ of the fair. Well, i couldn’t do much so with the less-than-half-leftovers, we set up our area and waited.

I’d be lying if i said i wasn’t proud, we were sold out with in a couple of hours. We even got a few custom orders that we delivered after the weekend. 

i can sheepishly plead guilty to over charging jusst a little bit but hey, they paid for it without second guessing, so i guess it was fine, right? 

All of this basically meant, lots of money which equals to lots of food, duh: that makes Sana a happy girl. **Well, that and the fact that i heard some one talking about us getting graded the highest for the day. Not entirely sure how true this piece of information is, but i’m not going to burst my bubble just yet. hehe.

Hopefully, the next post will come sooner, with a happier heart on the perfect summer night. Signing out for now, g’bye. 

[pogueman]

These 6 systems will get rid of WiFi dead spots in your house

As history flows along, we find ways to snuff out conditions that make us miserable. We invented plumbing so we didn’t have to carry water. We invented tractors so we didn’t have to break our backs in the fields. We invented air conditioning so we’re no longer uncomfortable in the summer.

And now, you are alive to see the snuffing out of another source of misery: Wi-Fi dead spots.

For years, we’ve tried to solve this problem with various imperfect solutions like Wi-Fi repeaters/extenders. But they all have downsides, like diminished speed and having to change Wi-Fi network names when you move around the house.

But now, there’s mesh Wi-Fi.

Instead of one Wi-Fi transmitter too weak to fill your entire home with signal, a mesh system uses a set of them, spaced evenly through your house. The result is a single “mesh network,” a roaming network, that blankets the entire house in good, strong signal.

The revolution began a year ago with the introduction of the Eero. After I tested it (my review’s here), I was so exhilarated that I actually bought a set for myself, at the nosebleedy price of $500.

Today, every networking company and its sister now offers a similar system. And man, they are great.

Because a router out in plain sight offers better coverage than one in a closet, they’re all great-looking. Because we’re human beings and not engineers, they all include phone apps that make setup simple. And because many of us have children, most offer either parental controls (to block iffy websites) or a Pause button for specified offspring (so we can have dinner conversation face to face).

This week, I reviewed six of these systems: Eero, Plume, Luma, Google WiFi, Netgear Orbi, LinkSys Velop, and Ubiquiti Amplifi HD.

The fruits of my week in networking hell.

About Speed Measurements

Each manufacturer touts its routers’ top speed in megabits per second (“867 mbps/sec!”, for example). But trust me: You’ll get those speeds only on the moon. In the cluttered airwaves of a community, among the walls and furniture obstacles of a home, your top speed will probably be less than half the advertised maximum. Move 30 feet away, and it drops by half again.

In fact, any of these mesh systems can pass along data faster than your Internet provider passes it into the average American home (54 mbps/sec.). If your concern is transferring files between drives within your home, or if you’re paying for much faster Internet, then consider one of the beefier systems here: The Velop, Orbi, or Amplifi HD.

I tested each system by wandering through my house with a laptop running Netspot, an app that builds a “heat map” of Wi-Fi strength. All of them totally blanketed both floors of the house. (I even spot-checked the attic and basement. They had Wi-Fi, too.)

Here’s the “heat map,” before and after installing mesh routers. Green is good.

I also did an internet speed test twice per system: in the room closest to the cable modem, and the room farthest from it. Here’s what I discovered.

Eero

The modules are small and good-looking; the terrific app gives you insight into every aspect of your system. All the key features are here, like guest networks (for visitors—they can access the internet, but not your computers) and individual, pause-able profiles for your offspring.

The original mesh WiFi modules, still great.

If you have an Amazon (AMZN) Echo, you can even control your Eeros by voice: shutting off certain kids’ internet access, turning the Eeros’ status lights on or off, or finding your phone/tablet/laptop in the house according to its closest Eero.

Eero’s app looks great.

The Eero’s price has not come down in its year on the market, though. At $500 for a set of three, it’s almost goofily overpriced—$200 more than Google (GOOG, GOOGL) Wi-Fi, for example. I’m glad to own it, but it wouldn’t be my first choice today.

Speed tests: 57 megabits/second downloading in the closest room, 47 in the farthest.

Ethernet jacks: Two per unit. (The pod by your cable modem therefore has only one empty jack for a printer, network hard drive, or other gizmos. I bought a cheap five-port switch box to solve that problem.)

Price: Three for $500, 1 for $200.

Google Wi-Fi

Google’s Eero-like system costs $300 for the set of three.

Three Google’s the charm.

It, too, is fast, full-featured, and beautifully designed. (For example, there’s no traditional power brick—only a simple cord with USB-C on the router end and standard two-prong plug on the other.)

You can dim or turn off the Google Wifi’s status light.

The app makes it incredibly simple to set the whole thing up. You use your phone to scan a barcode on the bottom of the first pod; after that, one tap is all it takes to set up each additional pod. The app even tests the placement of each unit and lets you know if you’ve chosen wisely.

Google’s app is a snap.

Features: You can pause individuals or groups, even remotely. You can control the colorful LED ring around the equator of each unit, although they make fantastic night lights. Voice control is coming soon, Google says. Port forwarding, guest networking, device prioritization (“favor the Roku when I’m watching videos!”): all present.

Speed tests: 53 mbps/sec closest, 35 mbps farthest.

Ethernet ports: two.

Price: $300 for three, $130 for each additional.

Luma

Feels like a cheap Eero knockoff; minor irritations abound. Do I really have to surrender my phone number just to use my new router? The units are hexagons, but unlike the Eeros, they can’t lie flat, because the power cord sticks out of the back. The setup process goes like this.

The Luma’s illuminated during setup.

The app is strong on parental controls and security; for example, you can set up accounts for each kid in your family and specify what kinds of sites they’re allowed to visit (rated PG, R, etc.).

The Luma app queries you about your home setup.

But the Lumas’ power is on the weak side; a set of three left fading signal at the fringes of the house.

To avoid the diluted signal at the outer edges, I would have needed another Luma.

Speed tests: 55 mbps/sec closest spot, 49 farthest.

Ethernet ports: two.

Price: $400 for three (choice of white, gold, orange, or silver plastic), $150 for one

Netgear Orbi

Netgear’s approach to mesh networking is radical: Only two units to cover an entire big house. Including the front and back yard!

How? First, these are big, honking towers, crammed with antennas and power to drive them. (A ring on the top glows in colors during setup to show its happiness with the current signal strength.)

The Orbi kit comes with two of these towers.

Second, most routers communicate with your devices on one of two radio bands (2.4 or 5 gigahertz)—but this one uses a third channel exclusively for communications between the two towers. As a result, that channel remains strong enough to drive through ceilings, floors, and walls. Netgear suggests putting one unit right by your cable modem, and the “satellite” tower in the middle of your house, even if that’s upstairs and several rooms away.

Only two Orbi units covers the house. Weird.

It works. (The “Mesh routers” heat map shown near the top of this article is the Orbi’s result.)

By the way, the Orbi also offers MU-MIMO streaming. (That stands for Multi-User Multiple Input, Multiple Output, but it basically means fast—at least when talking to gadgets that also speak MU-MIMO. For example, the Samsung Galaxy S7 and certain other Android phones do; no Apple products do.)

Alas, Netgear’s software engineers aren’t anywhere near as impressive as its hardware designers. The setup instructions are filled with terms like “credentials” and “redirect,” and they make no mention of a smartphone app that could make the process easier. You’re supposed to use a web-browser interface to set up your Orbis.

Orbi’s app exists, but Netgear doesn’t want you to know.

When I contacted the company, they told me that there is a setup app—they just forgot to mention it! In fact, there are three apps, each governing a different aspect of the Orbis (setting up guest network, parental controls, etc.).

Come on, people. You can do better.

Speed tests: 56 mbps/sec closest spot, 52 farthest.

Ethernet ports: four per tower

Price: $380 for two

LinkSys Velop

For $490, you get three gorgeous, sculptural white towers, with cables that sneak out of a corner cutout, a physical reset button (instead of a paper-clip hole), and packaging that out-elegances Apple’s. The towers deliver fantastic speed and coverage, thanks in part to a three-band system like Netgear’s for better comms between towers.

Air freshener or mesh WiFi router? You decide.

The Velop (pronounced VELLup) also offers MU-MIMO streaming, if you’re scoring at home.

All the perks are here: parental controls, guest networking, device prioritization, port forwarding, Alexa commands (“Turn the guest network on,” “What’s my password?”), and so on. The app is, therefore, more dense than on simpler devices, but it’s not hard to navigate.

The Velop app is nicely done.

My one beef: it takes a long time to recognize each new satellite as you hook it up. Minutes.

Speed tests: 56 mbps/sec closest spot, 52 farthest.

Ethernet ports: 2 per tower.

Price: Three for $480; two for $250, or one for $200.

Plume

If you took the concept of mesh routers—multiple transmitters spaced around the home—to its logical conclusion, you’d wind up with Plume. Here, you buy a bunch of super-cheap, tiny routers—the size of night lights, available in black, silver, or bronze—and plug them directly into power outlets, one per room or hallway! (Once you’re about a room away from the nearest Plume, your signal weakens dramatically.)

Smallest routers ever.

Setting them up is insanely easy. You don’t even have to introduce them to the network one at a time, as you must the other systems; you can just plug in all six, or all nine, or whatever, and they just work. (If you want to name them, you can: Just hold your phone very close to one of the plugs until it offers its name for changing. Very cool.)

Look, ma—no cords!

These pods are so cheap because they don’t contain processors, as their rivals do; all the analysis is done online. As a result, the company says that it takes 24 hours of analysis before the plugs begin to deliver their best speeds. Then, in the coming weeks, they shift bandwidth to the pods that need it most, according to your use patterns.

The Plume’s app is super smart.

Here’s the problem, though: Economics. If your home is small enough that you can get by with three Plumes ($180) or even six ($330), you’d save money and complexity by buying a modern, standard, regular router. And if your house is big enough that you need a mesh system, you’ll probably need $600 worth of Plumes—and any of the competitors here would cost a lot less than that.

There are no features to speak of, either: No guest network, device prioritization, or parental controls.

Speed tests: 52 mbps/sec closest spot, 33 farthest.

Ethernet ports: one per unit

Price: Three for $180, six for $330, one for $70.

Amplifi HD

Here’s another fresh take on the mesh system. This time, the three modules aren’t identical and interchangeable. There’s a base module and two satellite antennas.

The base is a cube with a color touch screen; tap it to view various network-info screens. (Most of the time, it just shows the time and date.)

The Amplifi HD base station has a color touch screen—and sound effects.

The satellites are very cool: the antenna part connects to the power-outlet part with a magnetic ball joint, meaning that you can adjust the antenna’s angle. Note, though, that it can be tough finding spots to plug these things in where they’re not stymied by a floor, a countertop, or a wall. Baseboard outlets are pretty much it—which limits your positioning options (and attracts small children). They’re not exactly fashion accessories, either.

Here’s part 2 of the Amplifi system, courtesy of the magnetic ball hinge.

The app is lovely, and gives you access to all kinds of advanced router settings (port forwarding, DHCP settings, etc.)—but doesn’t offer parental controls.

Speed tests: 48 mbps/sec closest spot, 44 farthest.

Ethernet ports: four on the base unit

Price: $350 for the base and two satellites

What to buy

If money were no object, I’d tell you to buy the LinkSys Velop. These babies look great, they’re absurdly fast, the features are all there, and the software has its act together. A set of three is designed to cover 6,000 square feet of house—far more than the Google WiFi (4,500 square feet), Netgear Orbi (4,000), or Eero or Luma (3,000). (Then again, if your pad is more of a palace, you ‘ll want the Amplifi HD, which says it can cover 20,000 square feet!)

But if money is an object—namely, if you object to a $490 price tag—then you can save $200 by getting the Google WiFi trio. The modules are gorgeous and not so ostentatious, and the app offers a smoother setup.

Unfortunately, the three-pack of Google WiFi is currently sold out everywhere. If you can’t wait, you can save almost as much money, and still get unbelievable coverage, with the Amplifi HD ($350) or the Netgear Orbi ($380).

In any case, if your house’s size or construction stymies any single router you’ve tried, treat yourself. Dead spots are the latest scourge of humanity that we’ve now wiped out.

David Pogue, tech columnist for Yahoo Finance, welcomes non-toxic comments in the Comments below. On the web, he’s davidpogue.com. On Twitter, he’s @pogue. On email, he’s poguester@yahoo.com. You can read all his articles here, or you can sign up to get his columns by email. 

[insecure-hbo-recaps]

hella open

Previously on Insecure: Issa slept with Lawrence but Lawrence is apparently with Tasha. Lawrence told Tasha, and it didn't go well. Lawrence moved out of Chad's place. Molly's therapist helped her try to move up a level at work. Issa starts to accept that Lawrence is done.

Issa is having a red wine and chill with some random. She's wearing a purple football jersey for the occasion, which is an interesting choice. Her hair is braided down in a protective after-shampooing set of Celie cornrows like... it tickles me when famous black women publicly do stuff that is just-for-at-home and mainstream media loses their shit over it (see also Rihanna wearing sparkly bobby pins in her wrapped hair) but, Insecure is for us. I'm not so sure I can cosign this ostentatiously quirky style choice, lol.

The guy moves in to kiss her and Issa awkwardly accepts it. She continually giggles while he is trying to be sexy, past the point where he is amused by it. As an aside, this is everything:

Issa is frankly annoying him now - I get that it's weird for her to have sex with a new person after being with Lawrence for five years. The first time I had a serious long term relationship I was surprised how weird it was to begin sleeping with someone new again. It wasn't something I thought I'd have a problem with, since obviously I'd never had a boyfriend and that was the weird thing. But, it was. Issa asks to reschedule, but she has blown this dude's high - he's wearing jeans with cutouts at the knee, this is some Eric Benet California shit - he doesn't really want to try again. This didn't work. So Issa gets dressed to leave.

Dunes. Issa is about to leave for work when she catches sight of the plume of smoke she burned into her wall at last week's party. She also notices before she goes that the new property management has issued what appears to be every apartment notices for noise violations, taped to their doors.

On the way out, Issa runs into one of the bloods that crashed her party. He has a really big, weird shaped head.

It reminds me of this kid I went to high school with named Mickey who had a big oversized head that sort of came to a point at the top; so more a triangle than round head. Of course now that I've spent several years working in developmental pediatrics I know what happened there is that he should have had a helmet as an infant and his parents didn't get him one, but at the time it was just there goes Mickey with his big ass pointed head that he for some reason chooses to accuentuate with a cloth headband. (This was obviously during the Rocafella era when that was en vogue for men.) I actually think that he ended up being shot and murdered as an adult, but for the life of me I cannot remember his last name in order to check and I'm not exactly on speaking terms with my high school classmates.

Anyway, Mickey (I don't know that we ever get to hear his name and I'm going to make the executive decision that it doesn't matter) says he had fun at Issa's party and she watches him go.

Molly's law office. She's skyping with Hannah in the Chicago office as well as the TSA agent from Get Out, Quintin, a fellow lawyer in a trendy bow tie. There's a Chicago joke about the sun shining so he's going to the beach. That doesn't work here because Chicago is not an overcast city and we don't have an excessive amount of cloudy days. You're thinking Portland, Insecure writers. Idk why the actor didn't correct him, since apparently he's also from Chicago. In the summer I hang a dark blanket on the window behind my blinds because my bedroom is east facing and there's too much sun for 75% of the day. Anyway, they bond over being the token black lawyers and it's all lovely and relatable.

High school. As you may have noticed, I really don't give a shit about this storyline. I did think it was interesting that Issa ended up being the bad guy in this scenario, as the show's hero, because you are definitely tempted to take her side in this. Frida comes across as an overly Clueless White Person with her concerns that the after school program is only black children while Issa isn't bothered because she's just glad the program is full. When I watched this the first time I was uncomfortable with it because while I didn't exactly disagree with Issa's blase attitude, I did think the show made it clear enough that she wasn't doing the right thing to take it. Of course this season will make it overtly clear - more than the first season did in my opinion - that Issa's judgment is sure in the fuck not to be trusted, and this was just another way that they established that. Duly noted that white people aren't always wrong when it comes to race. Issa's attitude doesn't sit well with Frida.

Multicultural Silicon Valley start up, aka Lawrence's computery job. It looks like he's wearing one of those Untuck It shirts. Tangent. I went out with this guy who was born in the 70s because he started hitting on me when I was working on my laptop at Map Room and trying not to cry because I was texting with my new boyfriend-even-though-we'd-been-fucking-for-the-last-three-years-not-as-a-couple because he up and booked a flight for a 10 day trip to Costa Rica and didn't tell me about it til afterward. I was two La Fin du Mondes in already and when I went to close out, the random man offered to buy me another, apparently not noticing my teary eyes. Anyway, because he was born in the 70s, he was particularly preoccupied with anything young and trendy, and frequently mentioned his Untuck It shirts to me. Granted they do look expensive and well made in real life. But they're also just regular fucking shirts that charge a 300% premium because they cut them slightly shorter so that you don't have to... guess what... tuck them in. I've literally only ever seen or heard of these shirts due to advertisements during daytime CNN or MSNBC viewing so like... who's supposed to be impressed by this?

Anyway, The Generic White Guy is obnoxiously eating snack food made from crickets, and Lawrence is talking about his trip to Phuket, so we get the full range of lovely diversity at work in this cool, trendy environment. Apparently the ethnic girl next to Lawrence slept with Corny Colin, which the blonde teases her about. Ethnic Girl is not amused by it. The group discusses a company social, but Lawrence can't go because he "promised someone he'd pick up some chairs." So he's going to go to Tasha's family bbq after all. The group clearly regards Lawrence as a trendsetter amongst what's hot and what's not - a distinction I feel that certain types of black people, in certain environments, are relegated to simply because black culture is presumed to be cooler than the other prevailing cultures - and everyone is disappointed that he will not be going.

Loading dock. Molly is wearing a fabulous black skirt suit with leather trimmed lapels. She's on the phone with her mom about the vow renewal thing her parents keep bugging her about. A worker comes out with her bookcase and assumes the random black man standing nearby is there with her. He asks if he should hand it over and everyone looks at each other, blanketed by the wrongness of the assumptions all around. Molly scoffs that she's not with him, and makes to pick up the bookcase by herself.

Yes, it is exactly as absurd as you'd think it would be, and two things. Motherfuck this whole concept where black women aren't allowed or should be or expected to be the normal amount of "feminine" granted to every other woman. I had this epiphany somewhere not long after high school when I realized how panicked and backed up against the wall I felt that my natural inclination was to resist any kind of vulnerability and the realization that I didn't want to have to be "strong" all the time. That wasn't going to work for me. I am damsel in distress all the time. You will stop when I cross the street, even if I'm timing it wrong with the stop signs - when I politely give you the right of way, you will insist I cross instead. You will pause to let me pass and open doors when I do. You will push my car out of the snow. You will offer to carry the leftovers from the restaurant. I dated a guy who insisted on walking down the stairs in front of me when I was wearing high heels, just in case I tripped. Point being, with regards to this scene, I wouldn't have lifted that shit. I wouldn't have carried shit. I would have been pointedly unable to carry that box. I'd have stood there for a half hour if that's as long as it took for someone to offer to carry the box for me. But it wouldn't have. When you behave with the expectation that you are a woman and you expect to be treated like a woman, something kinda funny happens... people treat you like a delicate woman. It doesn't escape my notice that the black man the worker assumed was there for Molly is there with a white woman, whose boxes he handily carries, while Molly struggles absurdly with the bulky oblong in her five inch heels down a flight of stairs. No ma'am. Later for "strong black womanhood," in this physical sense at any rate.

Molly's fantastic apartment. She's telling Issa she's putting her therapy on hold until she finds another therapist. Naturally, therapy was hitting too close to home, so Molly's instinct was to run from the truth. They are trying to put together this Ikea ass bookcase (related to my previous tangent, whenever I need this kind of manly work done, I outsource it now. Task Rabbit is an app, y'all. That's what it's for. It's not as solid a solution as having an actual man around or anything, but on some level I simply refuse to become a handyman myself just out of sheer principle. You will not deny me my femininity this way, it is a political issue at this point to me.)

Anyway, Molly is bitching about the therapist trying to get too close "just because we both got brown titties." Issa abides this silently. I can't believe they unironically drink Carlo Rossi. I remember being a kid and trying to learn about this kind of stuff and making a note from, of all places, an episode of Intervention about what kinds of wine people actually drink. Haha! (And yes, it was the huge gallon jug of Carlo Rossi.) Issa encourages Molly to keep looking for a new therapist, which Molly flips back on Issa regarding not finding a new Lawrence either.

Issa recounts how she couldn't do casual sex because she was too stuck in her own head. I'm so glad this has never been a problem for me LOL. I don't even know what my social life would be like if I had a hang up about this issue. They decide they should be doing their "ho phase" together - but then Issa met Lawrence and he "made [her] fall in love with him and shit." Issa wants to get on Team Fuck Love, and asks Molly "can you teach me how to ho?" "Bitch that's rude... and yes," Molly replies.

Late night spot. Issa is wearing a ridiculous outfit as she ridicules the other thirsty women in the spot that are there for an apparently different kind of thirst than the one she is. Seriously, what were we supposed to think about this outfit?

Baby, no. Especially as a woman walks past wearing the exact same bad dress. She's also wearing what I'm sure are an expensive pair of espadrilles, but they are wedge espadrilles, with a red floral print. Plainly, that outfit is ridiculous. Issa suggests a vacation to somewhere where they'll be exotic. Molly doesn't care, and seems very underwhelmed by the night.

Issa is chatting with some guy, making awkward double entendres and sexual innuendos. The guy is not amused and flat out walks away from her mid conversation. The next guy at the bar keeps peeling his eyes around at everything else but Issa, finally admitting that he's only talking to her because his friend wanted to talk to Molly. Issa is the grenade. Dayuuuuum, bro. "Do you have any other friends?" he asks, which Issa doesn't dignify with a response.

Molly is talking to Sterling K Brown and is still underwhelmed with the night - the way his friend was only talking to Issa, she's only talking to him. He asks for her number and Molly coolly hands him her business card. She joins Issa at the bar, who has given up on the night and ordered a plate of wings. I get it. There's only so much humiliation you can take when you put yourself out there to pick up a random at the bar. Hell, at least Issa has a friend with her while she does it.

Tasha's house. Tasha is in bed with Lawrence with her hair wrapped gossiping about tv shows. Lawrence tries to distract her and get amorous but Tasha isn't interested in going there. She pushes Lawrence away and we are treated to more of the show-within-a-show.

Back at the Dune's, Issa (in her middle-of-the-bed pillow) can't sleep so she pulls out her vibrator. The battery dies and she spends like ten minutes walking around the apartment looking for new batteries. And, why don't you have a magic wand? True story: I held off buying any kind of sex toys because I never had any and it made me have to seek out men if I wanted to have a sexual encounter; I (it turned out, rightly) figured that if I had any sex toys it would discourage and demotivate me from meeting actual men. Guess what... I was completely correct, and my love life took a marked down turn the same year I bought a magic wand of my own. Could have been timing, coincidence, I don't know, but it was interesting. I have since incorporated it into my regular sex life. (My boyfriend-that-I-loved-so-much-I-was-always-crying was amused the first time I used it with him, calling it "violent" and "over the top" because I was "loud" and it "plugged into the wall." lol. I did nothing but laugh and concede the point, because he was right. But in other news, fun fact: it also works on men, so if you are hooking up with someone that you don't actually want to have sex with, everyone can have an orgasm with no intercourse whatsoever.)

There are a few scenes about Molly's being underpaid and Issa missing the discrimination that I'm going to skip because the point has been made already.

Lunch. Molly is on a date with Sterling K Brown. He's showing her pictures of his niece on his phone, because he's a Good Black Man looking for a Good Black Woman. Actually, given the champagne flute and the bottle on the table I'm going to assume this is brunch (mimosas, you see). Sterling K Brown is wearing an interesting outfit, what says the tribunal?

This rote-date-conversation centers around the fact that they both have ticking biological clocks, and that Sterling K Brown is not being at all ambiguous about his intentions. Molly seems uncomfortable, and isn't following this conversation as well as a woman would be if she were truly interested. I gotta say, Sterling K Brown comes off as a LITTLE thirsty... but, considering Molly really does the most when it comes to choosing a man, like... you can't empathize with her at all. Do we know this, do viewers know this? Molly is wrong and ridiculous and has no clue what she is doing, and her choosing criteria is wildly outdated, immature, and foolish. Like, there is no shrewdness to her relationship behavior at all. She is doing nothing that would prove to be in her best interests or better her life circumstances at all, even if it were just casually dating a potential husband so that you have that back up available when things aren’t going well. This is the kind of thing I might of done before I realized it may be an actual real possibility that I actually might not find the husband I wanted some day.

California Family Cookout. There's ribs, there's dominoes. You feel right at home. Lawrence shows up in some hipster ass shirt, carrying chairs as promised. Tasha is wearing a lime green midi dress with scribbled print and a lopsided sew in. It works, as long as you don't pause at the wrong moment. Why am I hating on both their outfits? Let's move on. Tasha's relatives line up to get a good look at Lawrence and he is clearly there in a capacity of Tasha's Man Friend... which he looks decidedly uncomfortable with. Well, what the fuck were you expecting, Lawrence? Why do you think she hedged around inviting you, and made it clear you didn't have to come?

Lawrence's coworker texts him, and he decides to take it as an out, telling Tasha he'll be right back. "Oh... ok," she says. Damn. Again, people were furious over the "thirsty" character of Tasha. Meanwhile I'm just over here wondering why fellow black women didn't have more sympathy for her flexibility. Some of the time when I peek back into conversations in The Community, I am reminded of all kinds of toxic shit I used to feel and believe when I was younger that I eventually had to unlearn in the interests of any kind of healthy interpersonal life. She cheerfully says she'll see him later, and he leaves.

Molly is at a cupcake shop - those are a thing, y'all, and why? I live near one that granted, makes delicious cupcakes, but they cost like fucking four and a half dollars for one REGULAR SIZE muffin tin mold cupcake! Funnily enough, they are actually named "Molly's Cupcakes." Someone calls out that they will pay for her cupcakes, and it appears to be someone Molly knows:

A guy named Dro and his ostensible wife, who playfully criticizes Molly's insistence on wearing "ugly" dark colors - it's a black greek thing. (The wife is Delta, which I presume makes Molly AKA). The married couple set up the plot for next week's episode, expositing that they are in town for the Kiss n Grind party. It's clear that Molly knows Dro from way back, and the wife is newer.

Dunes. Issa has decided to paint over her burnt wall. She's typically spastic at it, dripping paint everywhere and making a mess. While cleaning off the roller, she spots Mickey Bighead lounging by the pool and is apparently attracted by what she sees. Molly calls; Issa notes her "high pitched fakeness" as she describes the date with Sterling K Brown: although there is clearly nothing wrong with him it's obvious to the both of them that Molly just isn't into it. For SOME reason. And this is the thing that is frustrating about Molly... there's never any legitimate or tangible reason why she has no interest in normal men and normal relationships, or why she brushes off scenarios that would be good for her. Like, what is she looking for instead? What's wrong with Sterling K Brown? Why would she not be interested in him? There are no red flags - it's not his looks, it's not that he's not a professional peer, it's not his baggage as he is unmarried with no children. And perhaps that is the point the show is making - that just because she should be interested in him, that doesn't mean she has to be. In the larger context of women "wanting it all" or "not settling," the point is valid. But in a practical sense, Molly is being ridiculous and her actions are not justified. This is how bitches end up single til 40 when they wind up marrying a bald janitor in the end anyway, is all I'm saying. Making smart choices don’t always feel like the choices you want to make.

Molly is comparing her lack of interest in Sterling K Brown with the fact that Candace and Dro are happy despite the fact that Dro was a mess and never had a "five year plan." So I guess that's what her problem is. She has no idea what will make her happy and is constantly peeking in other peoples' lives like it will tell her what would work in hers. You can always find a reason why a person is lacking when you compare them to someone else because... people aren't the same.

Start up Happy Hour. Lawrence shows up and his coworkers are happy to see him. They know the workplace is one big ho fest once enough drinks start flowing. Ethnic Girl is still pointed about regretting hooking up with Generic White Guy. Which, rude.

Issa has painted over her wall, which looks really good. But then she notices she neglected the smoke on the ceiling. Knowing she can't reach it, she reckons with it and tells it, "you can't have my joy." She spots Mickey Bighead going into his apartment and concocts a plan. She pulls out her charger and takes it down to Mickey's asking whether he left it at her house at her party. He seems momentarily taken aback, but recovers smoothly enough to invite her in.

Start Up Saturday. Lawrence gets a text from Tasha wondering where he is. Ethnic Girl asks what his deal is - and I kind of hate those "work people" that you can tell their primary source of social capital comes from people they meet in and around the work environment. Like other people are wrong for having a life outside of work and are not as immersed as you are. They ask whether Lawrence is single as a waitress comes up to flirt with him. Although Lawrence says he has to take off soon, her overt interest is all it takes for him to stay for a round of shots.

Back at Mickey's they're talking about Gossip Girl. Blake Lively is the most generic white woman on the face of the planet. "Yeah, white people," Mickey says. "There's so many of them," Issa adds awkwardly. Lol. Issa daydreams a confidence boost rap to convince herself to make a move: "even if it's wack, you can still get some head!" Unflattering accidental pause moment:

Issa makes an awkward kiss move, accidentally knocking him in the nose with her forehead. It works anyway, and they start making out. The first time I watched this I was a little annoyed because while I understand Issa's excitement over her new body, her constantly barely clothed state this season just seems so gratuitous. The fact that I personally don't like her body type - not to say she hasn't done a lot of work on it! - mainly just annoyed me. And I don't enjoy her sex scenes. Molly's sex scenes and Lawrence's sex scenes are great. So it's always kind of a let down when we have to watch Issa have sex. Her bra collection is excellent though, I guess.

Mickey asks if he could titty fuck her, which Issa "respectfully decline[s]." He wants to put her legs over her head, which she is uncomfortable with. Her head is squashed into the headboard and it's terrible. To her credit, Issa asks to change positions and finds a way that suits her better. He's wearing white socks. Aw. Flashbacks.

Molly is at home, working with a glass of red. Sterling K Brown invites her to a SZA concert and she declines. He comes back with a dinner invitation which she doesn't even reply to. Whatever, Molly. But hey, she heard my complaints and hired some random men to put the cabinet together for her! There's that at least.

Start up Saturday. Everyone's drunk and Lawrence is explaining the concept of his app to the two girls. What IS "Woot Woot" exactly? Besides the fact that everyone makes fun of him when he talks about it, as far as I can tell it's some kind of group chat client? Idk. Tasha calls, and Lawrence puts the phone to his ear in the loud bar. Tasha is mildly agitated, asking what happened to him because he never came back; her family members are even now in the background asking about him. He apologizes and says he ended up drinking too much. Tasha says if he didn't want to come he should have just told her. Lawrence tries to brush it off but then admits he isn't looking for a serious relationship. Tasha is put out because he ghosted on her in front of her entire family; if he didn't want a serious thing he shouldn't have come. He embarrassed her. Lawrence apologizes in a way that still blames it on her: "I know how much you wanted me to be there." It's her fault for expecting his intentions to match his behavior, not his fault for not being up front and leading her on. Tasha tells him to stop acting like he gives a fuck about her feelings, because he "fronted like it was [something more], apologizing for shit" he knew he wasn't sorry for.

Lawrence insists he was being genuine. Tasha: "You're a fuck nigga. You're worse than a fuck nigga. You're a fuck nigga who thinks he's a good dude." And she hangs up. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the cultural conundrum facing all of us in this new technologically advanced hook up landscape we are all attempting to navigate. I don't know how it used to be before Swiper Not Swiping and casual sex became the rule, not the exception, but I also find that men are preoccupied with being "good guys" in a way that belies their shitty behavior; some kind of veneer of honesty and distance that doesn't quite square with the level of intimacy and acquiescence they are seeking from their partners. Maybe back in the day it was understood you couldn't get that level of commitment without expressly acknowledging it; I find these days men think they get to have their cake and eat it too on this issue.

Anyway, look at this shit:

Bitch, what are you wearing? Those 1980s Jessie Spano mom jeans. Her name is "Arpana" which leads me to believe she's supposed to be Indian, but I think in real life her body type would indicate she is something else. She's probably Latina tbh. (And no I'm not going to google this to find out.) Anyway, Lawrence is laughing off his conversation with Tasha well enough as he rejoins the party.

Back at the Dunes, Issa is sneaking out of Mickey's apartment. She isn't quiet enough and he wakes up, offering for her to sleep over. Super generous considering she lives literally right upstairs. As Issa grabs her phone to go, she decides she isn't actually willing to sacrifice her phone charger for this farce, so she snatches it up too. But not to fear: it turns out Mickey was aware of her ruse the entire time, as his phone has been sitting plugged into his own not-missing charger the whole time. Issa can't even be mad as she lets out a chuckle and goes. She seems pleased, at least, with this first foray into "honess."

[mylifemydiary]

Graduation and new dilemas

June 23, 2020

We did it.  We drove 13+ hours (including multiple stops) to Fort Worth and back for my son’s graduation.  Overall it was a wonderful trip where I got to see family, take pics, work on my tan, and watch my son get his diploma.  Well, the diploma holder.  The baby did great on the car ride, with the circumstances, and only lost it on the way back with about 3 hours left.  He was over it in a big way.  But my husband was able to calm him down, as usual.  I think my baby can sense his patience and his calm, whereas I am impatient and angry and overwhelmed with things.  The days leading up to the trip were anxiety filled and lead to arguments between us.  I don’t know how caught up this diary blog is but we recently had to replace the entire a/c unit at our house back home, that lead to finding a leak in the roof, which also lead to finding out the foundation needs additional repairs.  The whole in the ceiling in the garage is still there, there are cracks in the walls in the living room, and several appliances need updating or replacing.  The dryer door, the ice maker, the vent hood, blah blah blah home ownership woes blah.  People keep calling and texting my husband to make a cash offer on the house, and I made a comment about yeah they are only seeing the outside, not all the problems inside and that sent us into an argument.  Not to mention the argument the next morning as we are packing to leave.  I, as the mother and woman, make lists of everything we will need on our 4 day trip.  What I need to get ready for the graduation, what we want to take to leave at our house, things for the baby... My husband literally needs clothes and deodorant and he’s good.  It doesn’t work that way for me and he knows it.  Cue the argument about packing things.  In reality, I did over pack because I didn’t work out ONCE during the trip like I had originally planned.  Shame on me.  But I was tired and heavy from all the extra food we had been consuming on this trip.  Not to mention I was on serious pms emotions because I was supposed to start my period while we were there, and I didn’t, which is a whole other story in itself.  I’m not pregnant, btw, I did a test this weekend and it was negative.  My period has been messed up for months now.  ANYWAY, my son LOVED his graduation gift from us, a laptop computer with music software that he likes, and we were able to celebrate briefly with my family on Sunday before the ceremony.  We enlisted as a last minute SOS his sister to help us take pics, and she did a fabulous job.  We were out in the texas summer heat but we did it and I have some amazing pictures to commemorate the occasion with my son.  Both my sons.  I did, however, forget the face cutouts my sis in law had had made that we were to use during the graduation, and we were late getting to our seats because we were waiting on her to get to our hotel room so we could leave.  I had always envisioned watching the kids file in while pomp and circumstance played and becoming overwhelmed with emotion... I heard it briefly as I sulked over leaving the face cutouts in the trunk and security not allowing us to retrieve them as I rushed to find our seats.  By the time we were seated the pledge of allegiance was over and the principal was speaking.  It was very different from what I had pictured but we were in a pandemic and all in all it was as good as it could be.  I was able to get pictures afterward with Zane for the last time before we left town, and say my tearful goodbye.  We made it back without incident.

I’m getting my tattoo this Saturday, which still sounds like a distant dream, so I’ll be happy when it’s over and done with and I have new ink in my skin.  

On his return, my husband found out a coworker put in his two weeks.  Basically, he has been told the job is his if he wants it.  There have been many discussions recently on where we see the future going, especially with all the recent problems we have had with our house.  Ultimately, my husband wants to fix it up and rent it out.  That leads us to discuss where we actually want to live.  Here in Florida?  Back in Texas closer to his work?  Or fix up the house we live in now and stay put for the next 10 years until it’s just about paid off and THEN make a move.  I think, last we discussed it, and believe me it is hard to keep track, he wants to finish the job here, which will likely wrap up at the end of this year or beginning of next, fix up our house just enough to rent it out, and then roll our mortgage into a gigantic new one and get a new house somewhere in Texas near his job.  He wants to be back in Texas because he thinks his dad doesn’t have many years left.  And he most likely doesn’t.  He’s not in good health and doesn’t take care of himself.  I am in agreement with all this, but there is still the matter of having one more baby.  Our original plan back in the day was to start trying once we move back.  I have a huge problem with being hot pregnant during the Texas summer months, which when we visited just now was in the 100s and it wasn’t technically summer yet, and want to wait until June or July to get knocked up so I can spend the heavily pregnant and hot times spread out over the winter months and have the baby in March.  I will be just shy of 40, and Leo will be 3.  Not to say I will be able to handle both children at once, especially since I have NEVER in my life seen that done firsthand, but I can’t imagine trying to keep a toddler busy and out of my hair while juggling a newborn and pumping or breastfeeding every 2 hours and not sleeping for days.  When Leo was a newborn, I slept in the two hour windows he gave me.  I won’t be able to do that while having a toddler to look after too.  I honestly don’t see how women do it.  Or I do see how accidents happen in the home more easily.  Oh, the toddler fell off the furniture?  Into the pool?  drank the poison from the cabinet?  yeah, probably while I was exhausted and chained to this other human being mouth to feed we felt like having.  Let’s just make things THAT much harder, shall we?  My husband gets 4 weeks off of work now, thank GOD so that should help me get caught up with rest in the beginning.  I can only hope that jump start is enough to keep me going.  And throw in the need to return to the gym in there somewhere.  Not that I’m in immaculate shape, but I would like to continue to work on my body and not just let myself be disgusting and let go once I’m 40.  It makes me break out into sweats just thinking about doing it all.  But I digress.

Now that this new job has become available, there is a new option on the table.  Possibly buying a house here, renting out the texas home, and staying put.  I don’t have an issue with that, actually, barring we can get a nice house with a pool (I can’t be expected to lug this boy to the beach all the time) down here in a nice area.  Interest rates are supposedly down right now because the world is currently falling apart.  But that leaves us with fixing up the house back home enough to be livable to someone, hiring a management company because I’ll be damned if we are to be expected to deal with a broken water heater at 5 in the morning from Florida, and with the stipulation that it be rented to someone other than my husband’s enormous family.  Because I can see it now.  Someone falls on hard times and ‘rent will be a few days late this month’ and how my husband will be super understanding, and then ‘a couple of months behind’ turns into us paying for both houses and strapped for cash and him unable to evict said deadbeat tenant because they are ‘family’.  Nope.  Not happening.  

Then he drops this bomb on me.  After he tells his dad, mind you.  He’s thinking about this job down here in Florida, but wants to move his dad in with us for 6 months at a time.  oh.  hell. to. the. no.  I don’t even want family visiting us as it is, invading my personal space while my husband is at work all day, let alone taking up residence with us and being in my face all day.  I don’t mind his dad, I really don’t.  When he lives somewhere else and we can exchange pleasantries and then go back to our lives.  He isn’t a very good housekeeper, and I don’t plan on cooking just because he is there.  I get a long just fine the way we are here now.  I work out in my living room since I can’t go to the gym anymore.  And that works for me.  I do not under any circumstances need an audience while I try to work out.  I don’t need an extra person to clean up after.  I don’t want someone interfering with how I raise my son.  I’ve been there done that with my own family and that did not turn out well.  I just like my privacy.  Always have.  And then what?  I’m supposed to be pregnant and have the baby down here with zero people to help?  And then my husband throws in the dad as an option to help.  The man can barely help himself, he won’t be able to pick Leo up or control him other than talking to him.  And 3 year olds don’t exactly do as they're told all the time.  Or any of the time.  I know my husband loves his dad and he is a good man, but I just don’t want anyone living with us.  It’s an inconvenience to say the least.  If that’s the case, I’d rather be back in Fort Worth in our house, fixing it up and spending the summer melting away with no pool.  Part of this is that I don’t like change.  I loathe it.  Part of this is that I value my privacy.  Part of this is I don’t want more housework to do.  Part of this is I loathe entertaining.  Expecting to keep people entertained and happy and have guests.  I want to do my own thing and everyone else to do their own and everybody’s happy.  We are right now at odds over this.  If this is how we have to do it, then I would rather leave Florida and never return.  As much as I love it down here, a huge part of that is the fact that there are no family members (his or mine) here to meddle.  We are on our own and I love it.  We can visit home when we want and on our terms.  This is something my husband and I have always had arguments about.  I keep my family at arms length, he can’t get his close enough.  Which I understand.  It’s how we were raised.  I was raised with a family no larger than 4 people.  He was raised with hundreds.  Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Sisters, Brothers, Nephews, Nieces.  I had none of that.  Zero.  And I grew quite accustomed to my time being my time and my things being my things.  Doing what I want when I wanted.  Not having to wait on anyone else or invite anyone else or take a poll to see when the best time to do what is.  Yes I’m spoiled in that way.  But it’s a huge thing to do to ask me to move someone into my home.  Where I go to get away from people and be in my own personal space.  I don’t even want my family to visit for 2 weeks.  I’m going to tell my grandmother she can come for 1 week max and no she can’t stay here while she’s here.  I would hope my husband will do the same for his brother and his family but I don’t know how that is going to go.  I’m not some evil person.  But my space is my space and I don’t need an audience or a guest to dote over and clean up after.  I don’t want to worry about us not having any food in the fridge.  We live how it works for us now, and I don’t want to have to change that.  

I have a feeling the worst is not over for me.  Far from it.  But I know me and I won’t be able to keep from pouting and sulking if I don’t get my way.  Which will lead to more arguments.  Which will lead to more resentment.  I don’t want to lose my husband but I don’t want to gain another houseguest either.  I honestly am angry and upset about the whole thing.  Why shouldn’t I get a say in our future?  Why can’t we have some mutual agreement, why is it 6 months at a time or nothing?  That’s half a fucking year!  And I know how hard it is to get a parent to leave.  My mother was supposed to stay with me for 3 months and that turned into a whole year.  I know how he is, and when the 6 months is up he won’t be able to say OK now get out, please!  6 months will turn into a year easily and then I don’t think I can keep the act up.  I will be bitter and resentful and we will only grow apart.  I don’t want that at all.  I don’t know what we are going to do but I do know this situation is only going to get hairier.  Help. 

[seanskeithley]

Frozen Birthday Party Ideas to Make Your Event the Coolest!

For the first time in forever, children are turning blue when it’s their birthday. Because everyone’s favorite Disney movie, Frozen, has become a popular theme for parties, and kids cannot get enough of Elsa, Anna, and Olaf!

Even though YTE Events was founded in Florida, YTE knows how to throw the coolest Frozen birthday party ever! It’s because our best balloon artists, face painters, and real life princesses have been specially trained to make your event a royal success—a party so grand that the Duke of Weselton would want to crash!

YTE is committed and honored to help you plan the best Frozen birthday party with ideas, suggestions, and inspiration, because we are your total entertainment solution after all!

Frozen Invitation Ideas

Finding Invitations on Etsy: If you prefer to buy your invitations, there are some great options on Etsy. Check out these amazing Elsa Invitations to get your ideas started.

Printable Invitations: Try out some of these great printable Elsa invitations here.

Frozen Snacks and (Frost) Bites

Elsa’s Icicles: Blue and clear rock candy

Frost Bites: Smear light blue frosting on marshmallows, and roll in white sprinkles. Stick a lollipop stick inside each one, and you’re done!

Do you want to build a Snowman?: Fill a large clear bowl with: skinny pretzels; mini & regular marshmallows; bugles, baby carrots, or puffed Cheetos; and black candy pearls, brown (or black) M&M’s, or raisins

Ice Wands: Spread light blue frosting across long pretzel rods, and then coat with blue and/or white sprinkles for a magical effect

A Kiss to Melt a Frozen Heart: Decorate a tiered plate stand with Bowl silver and/or blue Hershey’s Kisses

Olaf’s Noses: Ranch dip and carrot spears

Frozen Hearts: Dip strawberries in white chocolate, sprinkle with blue sprinkles if desired

Kristoff’s Ice: Blue Jell-O cut into square cubes

Melted Olaf: In single-serve containers, pour in Vanilla Yogurt or Pudding, and top with an orange jelly bean, mini chocolate morsels, and 2 skinny pretzel sticks

Fresh Snow: Light blue cotton candy! It’s so fluffy!

Snowman Jr: Get some white powdered doughnuts and stick a bugle in the middle

Frozen Desserts that Melt In Your Mouth

Ice Caps: Make Vanilla cupcakes inside light blue cupcake wrappers, and top with light blue frosting. Bonus points for adding a snowflake decoration on top.

I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face: Get a box of assorted chocolates (or use leftovers from Valentine’s Day, yum) and spread over an ornate white plate. Everyone will think these chocolates were imported from Arendelle!

Let it Snow!: Cutout cookies in shapes of snowflakes (hooray for digging out Christmas cookie cutters!)

Snowball Trees: Obtain 3 or more Styrofoam cones/towers, cover with foil, spear with toothpicks, and place a white powdered donut hole on each toothpick. You will create a magnificent snowball tree that is as fun to make as it is to deliciously destroy!

Drinks (which are really just melted snow)

Icy Waters: Fill a grandiose beverage dispenser or punch bowl with Blue Jello and Ginger Ale. You can also offer Blue Kool-Aid Bottles for portable options.

Hot Chocolate Bar: YES YES YES! Fill a coffee carafe with hot chocolate, and surround the area with yummy toppings, spices, whipped cream, and Styrofoam cups.

Melted Snow: Who knew Sam’s Club sold Frozen drinks? Pick up bottles of water for instant hydration, and if you’re feeling especially creative, wrap the bottle with custom-made “Melted Snow” labels.

Coronation Ball Entrees

We finish each other’s sandwiches!: Serve up sandwiches and/or wraps to please any crowd… and Princess Anna

MozzarElsa Snowmen: Decorate mozzarella sting cheese like a snowman! Wrap winter-colored Washi Tape around each wrapper to make a scarf, draw on snowman dot eyes with a Sharpie, add an orange nose, and you’ve got mini snowman!

Troll Rocks: Everyone loves meatballs, especially ones that trolls made (and trolls are love experts after all)! Garnish the meatballs with parsley for a mossy effect.

Royal Coronation Salad: All hail (and eat!) the almighty Caesar Salad!

Anna’s Pasta: Cook up your favorite pasta noodles, and strain half the batch into a gallon zip lock bag full of 20 drops of Blue Food Color + 2 tbsps water. Allow to sit for 5 minutes, strain out again, and then combine both the plain white noodles with the blue noodles. They’re oodles of fun!

Pizza!: Okay, yes, pizza has no tie-in whatsoever with Frozen. But who doesn’t love pizza? It’s an inexpensive (and delicious) food solution to please the pickiest (and hungriest) of palates on any budget.

Cool Frozen Games and Birthday Entertainment

Do you want to build a snowman?: Remember that “Mummy Wrap” game we used to play as kids during Halloween? Well, this is kind of the same concept. Start a 1-minute timer, unleash toilet paper upon the children, and watch them “build a snowman” by wrapping their friends up. Be sure to offer round black paper circles (sticky tape on one side) and an orange paper carrot nose (sticky tape again) so the kids can complete their masterpieces.

Snowball Fight!: Get a bucket and fill with Styrofoam balls, and have a fun snowball fight (outdoors of course!)

Her Majesty’s Face Painter: No princess is ready for the ball without her regal makeup! YTE has the best Face Painters in Tampa, and these talented beauticians will make every little girl feel like she’s at Elsa’s Coronation Ball. Feel free to fill out a free face painter request by clicking here.

Melted Snowball Fight!: If you are throwing a snow party during the summer, then a water balloon fight will certainly make a splash! Fill up blue water balloons and let the children duke it out.

Balloon Artist of Arendelle: YTE has the best balloon artists in Florida and will create the coolest balloon creations you’ve ever seen! Our friendly balloon entertainers are well versed in everything Frozen, hailed across the land for twisting up your favorite ice queen, daring princess, friendly snowman, and loyal reindeer! Request an amazing balloon artist for your Frozen party.

Pin the Nose on Olaf: Create a 3-foot tall cutout of Olaf (cardboard boxes, white spray paint, scissors, and hot glue work wonders) and multiple carrot-shaped noses from construction paper. Blindfold each kid with a scarf straight from Oaken’s Trading Post and see who can best place Olaf’s nose.

Reindeer Games: Use a Ring Toss game, or create your own, and dub it ‘Sven’s Antlers’

Real-life Ice Queen and Ice Princess: You’ve heard the stories about the 2-hour wait to meet Elsa at Disney World. But why wait when you can have your very own real-life Ice Queen and Ice Princess arrive at your Frozen birthday party? YTE Events has Princess characters from all the magical kingdoms, whom have been specially trained in royal etiquette with custom-made and regally-tailored gowns and dresses. If you’re looking to dazzle and amaze your guests of all ages with a real-life princess at your party, then click here to submit a free no-obligation quote! (Please book at least 3 weeks in advance, as our cool Princess are in hot demand)

Decorations and Goody bags

Frozen-inspired plates, napkins, utensils, cups: Don’t spend a fortune on branded party supplies when you can easily (and inexpensively!) festoon your Frozen party with solid colored options! Look for light blue and white napkins, paper plates, cups, plastic ware, and table covers add so much magic to your event while magically saving you money.

Icicle Lights: Dig out that Christmas box again, because there are tons of lights you can use to illuminate your Frozen party. Hanging icicle lights are beautiful and effective, but so are solid-colored white and blue lights. You can always get Wedding Mini Lights from your favorite craft store to add extra dazzle to the special day.

Iridescent door fringe curtain: Head to your local Party Supply store (or hit up Amazon and Ebay) and look for “iridescent fringe curtain”. There’s an avalanche of options to choose from, and these curtains will transform any room into an ice palace fit for a queen.

Fresh Snow Fall: Thread different sized cotton balls through fishing line, and hang from ceiling. This Frozen decoration idea is so simple, effective, and elegant that you might wish to leave it up even after the party ends.

Olaf Goody Bags: Using plain white paper lunch bags from the dollar store, you can easily create custom Olaf goody bags. Just get brown, black, and orange paper, cut out the appropriate snowman shapes, glue to the bag, and you’ve got memorable, lovable, and huggable Frozen goody bags.

Princess Snow: Corked Favor Jars are adorable and affordable! Fill each little glass vial with white pearl candy, adhere a snowflake sticker on it, and voila! You’ve got snow straight from Arendelle, which makes for a great goody bag filler.

Elsa’s Gloves: Stock each Frozen goody bag with a pair of mittens, rubber kitchen gloves, or blue latex/vinyl gloves. Kids will LOVE them!

Thank you SNOW much for coming!: A cute little card or lollipop wrapper thanking your guests for attending your amazing Frozen birthday party.

All of the entertainers at YTE Events look forward to making your Frozen-themed party spectacular, so send us an event request so we can supply some magic in your magical day.

For more Frozen themed birthday party ideas that will have your little princess excited about Anna or Elsa, try one of these interesting links below.

Compilation of Pinterest ideas for Elsa Parties can be found here: Family Crafts

An overview of one mom’s party and her Frozen ideas: The Girl Inspired

Party Favors to hand out to your guests: Party City

All types of Frozen Decoration Ideas: Shindigz

 How to make an Elsa and Anna Birthday Cake:

Let the party rage on!