#cameron 'my gf/future wife is a bitch and i like her so much even when she makes me wear sunscreen' howe

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Headcanon that for Memorial Day in 1995, Donna Emerson persists in her habit of trying to overcompensate for the previous year’s bummer holidays

[CN: Major spoilers for s4 of Halt and Catch Fire, major character death, also food and eating]

By May of 1995, It’s been just over a year since Gordon’s death, so much has happened and changed that it seems like it’s been much longer, and it also feels in some ways to pretty much everyone that no time has passed at all. Donna is determined to make sure everyone has fun though, so that year, she hosts a massive Memorial Day pool party and barbecue, and invites the entire former Mutiny staff, as well as her current Symphonic coworkers, and everyone she knows who was at Comet. 

Tanya Reese, her sister, and her nephew are the first to arrive, and out of habit, Tanya starts to help, and Donna has to literally shove her out the door with a “You’re not on the clock, go sit by the pool and try to RELAX!”

Everyone else begins to arrive just as Donna, who is already in her Californian ~gay divorcee~ summer uniform (big floppy sunhat, expensive sunglasses, black bathing suit, and floral pattern sarong) is bringing extra plates and cups to the table out by the pool. Before she knows what’s happening, everyone is there and munching on the hero sandwiches, chips, pretzels, and sodas she’d set out: Trip and the other partners are making awkward smalltalk with Diane, who is happily riding them about working for Donna; Bodie is encouraging his kids to cannonball into the pool; Yo-yo and his wife are chatting and laughing with Lev and his fiancee, Arki is talking with some coders from Swapmeet whose names Donna is mortified to realize she can’t remember. Haley and Vanessa are talking to Risa and her partner, and to some other people from Comet, and Bos is standing off to the side, smiling at everything, seltzer in hand. 

Cameron, of course, arrives over an hour late, as always, because she didn’t want to actually have to go to this or any party, ever. When she appears by the pool, after walking around to the back of Donna’s house, Donna is so glad to see her that she can’t resist calling out, “Look who it is, everyone, it’s our favorite prodigal coder!” Cameron is then overwhelmed with a kind of hero’s welcome. Arki, as always, hugs her for too long, Bodie nearly knocks her into the pool, Yo-yo tells her she looks great, and Lev bitchily jokes, “Does she, though? What is she even wearing? …at least she’s not wearing the overalls again, I guess.” (Cameron is actually wearing her lightest button down shirt and a pair of ripped jeans that Lev is pretty sure she’s had since her Mutiny days, and he wishes he could accessorize her, and no, he does not feel bad about it.) 

When Cameron finally makes it through the welcoming throng she grabs a sandwich from the table and immediately starts to stuff her face with it. “Help yourself!” Donna teases her. She watches Cameron anxiously eat for a minute and then says, “You don’t wanna go for a swim first?” and then cracks up when Cameron looks at her as if she just suggested that she enjoy a quick root canal. Donna smiles at her sympathetically, and Cameron responds by grabbing a second sandwich and going to find Bos

Bos and Vanessa are working the grill, and Cameron stands there awkwardly with them as they grill burgers, hot dogs, and small cuts of salmon, and watches as everyone else at the party talks and laughs and enjoys the pool. It’s a sunny, unseasonably hot day, and everyone is happy to get into the water

Donna is happy to see everyone having a good time, but it’s a long day, longer than she thought it would feel. It’s an uneventful day, a typical day of hostessing, that requires her to make regular trips back into the house to get things for her guests, and she doesn’t mind it, but she does find that when she goes back inside by herself that a weird sense of dread creeps up on her. Everything seems fine, everything is fine, as far as she knows, and the it looks like everyone else is at ease, but when she looks out at the party from inside the house, it feels like something is wrong, and she suddenly feels very far away from everything. She spends as little time inside as she can, and then finds that even though she’s glad that everyone came over, she’s relieved when everyone starts go home around ten pm.

Tanya is of course the last to leave, which she only does after Donna assures her that she doesn’t need any help with clean up

Cameron always helps after a party at Donna’s though (it’s secretly her favorite part of going to Donna’s parties), and after Donna has seen everyone out, Cameron finds her in the kitchen, busy putting away leftover potato salad and fruit. Without asking, she starts helping, and when Donna looks over at her, a few minutes later, she says, “Cameron! What the hell happened to your face?” Cameron’s cheeks and forehead (and also the small portion of her chest near her shirt’s collar that’s visible) are bright red. “It’s just a slight burn, it will look like a tan tomorrow,” Cameron insists. Donna gets the aloe vera out of the fridge and hands it to Cameron, who quietly applies it to her face and chest. She gets another lecture on the dangers of sun damage, and the importance of sun protection

After the kitchen and pool area are tidied, Donna realizes that she didn’t get into the pool all day, and she asks Cameron, “Hey, do you wanna sit outside with me for a minute?” 

They sit together at the shallow end of the pool. Cameron sits with her legs crossed, and Donna takes off her sarong and slips off her flip flops and dips her feet into the water. It’s silent for a few minutes, when Donna says, “Remember the subscriber barbecue?” Cameron smiles, which hurts slightly, and winces. “You mean at Mutiny?” Donna sighs contentedly at the memory. Cameron says, “Oh, yeah, it was totally great until Carl realized that the WestCorp had utterly screwed us.” Donna frowns, “That did become a very, very long night. It was good day, though.” 

It gets quiet again, and Cameron looks over at Donna, who is looking up at the sky. Cameron can tell that she’s tired, but Donna also looks comfortable, hands planted just behind her, reclining just slightly, torso elongated, legs loose. Cameron unself-consciously thinks about how her own legs always look too long, but Donna’s always look just right. 

Donna is comfortable, and unprompted, she says, “It’s still weird without him.” “It’s weird without both of them,” Cameron sighs, “but it’s also okay. I mean, not ‘okay,’ but like….” “I know what you meant,” Donna nods. “Not that Gordon would be here, he’d probably be camping, this weekend. I did a lot of camping with him when we were married, and I didn’t really enjoy it, but now I’m weirdly glad that I went.” Cameron sits there and thinks to herself that she’s sorry but also ultimately grateful that J*e isn’t there.

As if she can tell what Cameron is thinking, Donna says, “I’m so, so happy that you stayed. You know what’s strange though? I thought that getting to work with you again would help me miss Mutiny less. But I don’t think it’s worked out that way.” “Is that why you invited everyone from Mutiny today?” Cameron asks. Donna doesn’t respond, she just grins at how nice it feels when Cameron gets her.

Then she says, “I would really like to work with you at a place like Mutiny again some day. Or, well, there will probably never be another place like Mutiny. I hope we get to have an office full of nerds, again. And that we all get to make a place on the internet where people love to go.” Quietly, Cameron says, “Phoenix?” Donna looks over at her and smiles for real, for what feels like the first time that day. Cameron asks, “Should we talk about it? Phoenix? As in, like, right now?” Donna frowns slightly, and asks, “Would you mind?” Cameron grins in response, and winces again. Gently, Donna says, “Let’s go get you some more aloe vera first, though.”