#bye I just realised I wrote the title as if it was a YouTube video from 2016

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Double Life

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Summary: You are a YouTuber who also happens to be an actor. You do YouTube when acting jobs seem to go scarce. One day you get a call from your manager saying he has found something that peaks your interest. What happens when you meet your co-star and your characters love interest? Will you keep it professional or will you let your feelings get to you?

Warnings: angst, sad!reader, mentions of death, comforting!Jensen, gruesome description of death, talk of murder, mentions of legal trouble.

Word Count: 1215

A/N: This is based on actual events so please be gentle. I had more hard hitting news about a close friend. So, I thought since I write like I am the reader I would share this heartbreaking tale the only way I know how to. I know its really dark and going to be hard to read, but the wounds are still fresh on this. I really hope you enjoy.

"Hello everyone. I am so glad you are here to share this experience with me. I wish it was on a better day or with a better, more funny story time video. Today, as you can tell by the title, is going to be kind of morbid so please bare with me." I said trying to calm my nerves.

I could see Jensen out of the corner of my eye. He wanted to be here when I filmed this video because he knows how much it still hurts. He was reassuring me I was doing good.

"Back in preschool, we had a small little program where we had a been assigned a pen-pal to learn more about the culture of where that person lived. There were people from all over the world. Some were from the states, the UK, France, all over. It was a really neat thing for a small little preschool/daycare to have.

"You had to be at least 4 years of age to be part of this program. It was a whole interview type of situation. You had to prove your basic reading and writing skills. It was a nice learning experience for me. Once you're in you have one more piece to go through. You have to show you are capable of writing legible sentences. That way the kids aren't struggling to read what you are trying to tell them.

"I was assigned a boy named Alexander. Later on I would get to know this boy and realised I never knew his last name. Anyway, he was from the UK and he was the sweetest person anyone could ever meet.

"He was three years older than me though, but a lot of the kids from different countries tended to be a little older than us. It was okay though because it was nice to have someone who knew things and could potentially teach me.

"It a program that you stayed until you were 10 years old. Then the younger of the two were assigned new pen-pals, but you had to reapply.

"Alex and I had sent letters back and forth for three years. Until he wasn't able to be in the program anymore. That didn't stop us though. Every now and again I would get a letter from him asking how I was doing and if school was going good. He asked about old friends, and if I had made new ones.

"He would ask if I wanted to talk on the phone, so we could talk hear each other's voices. It wasn't like face to face talking though. Eventually I had grown old enough for my mom to finally let me go see him again.

"At that point it had been almost 8 years since we first met. It was rough because we both love face to face contact more than anything else.

"The trip was amazing. I was so happy to see him again. My mom was so excited to meet him. He had changed, but the same time he hadn't. He was still the same dorky kid I met when I was 4. Now I was 12 and going into middle school. He was going into what would be high school for him.

"We talked, we wrote, and when I got my first phone that you could text people on, we texted all the time. It was the best thing to have a friend like him.

"On my good days we would laugh, and on my bad days he would talk to me into the late hours of the night. It was so amazing to know I was cared about by someone I had only met twice in my life.

"When I got into acting and my career I was able to fly out and see him more. He found himself a girlfriend. I didn't necessarily approve of her, but she made him happy and that's all I cared about.

"As time went on he was starting to get these really horrible headaches. Headaches that even the slightest bit of light would make him sick. He could sit in pitch black darkness and it still hurt.

"I told him he needed to go see a doctor, and finally after months of pleading he finally went. He found out he had a brain tumor. The headaches were caused by excess fluid in his brain and that he needed surgery to remove the fluid.

"He called me that night freaked out and terrified. He didn't want his life to end like this and he didn't want to do it alone.

"I told him I was always here. Just a phone call and a plane ride away. If he needed anything I was going to be on the next flight out.

"A week later he called me freaking out about surgery. He didn't want to die on an operating table. He still had things he wanted to do. Place he wanted to see.

"He still wanted to come out and see Colorado. Or go to Los Angeles. He was so determined he was going to make it out to see me one last time.

"On January 2, 2014 Alex passed away from a severe seizure. He was found in his apartment a day later. Covered in blood and vomit. And his girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

"Things have come to light in the what was just a death caused by cancer was now something that could have been prevented. It had soon become a murder investigation.

"The doctors said they had prescribed him with a new supply of epilepsy medication to help with the seizures. Looking back on the report that medication was all gone.

"His girlfriend was going charged with murder and possession of non prescription medication.

"Two days after her arrest she was found hung in her cell. The guilt finally caught up to her, or she didn't want to man up to the crime she had committed.

"Who knows how much longer Alex would've lived if she hadn't done it, but it's over and done with.

"I wanted to let you guys know that everything is okay, but him being gone for 5 years is still hurting. Alex was my best friend before I even met Jess.

"Sometime this week I should be getting a package shipped out from what he had included in his will. I finally have some justice and closure as to what happened, but it doesn't make it any easier.

"Thank you for sticking with me. I know this was a lot to handle and everything. Please if you liked this video or just liked the fact I shared something very personal please leave a like.

"I will leave a playlist of funny story time videos. Don't forget to subscribe. I will see you guys next time. Bye."

I wiped all my tears away. As I turned off the camera. It wasn't long till I was being embrace by a pair of strong arms. Jensen was truly sent to me by Alex. It's how I know he's still with me.

He knew that Jensen would be able to provide me what he provided me. That was the coolest thing. It's how I know Jensen is the one.

Tags:

@anotherwaywardsister @archangel-michael98 @atc74 @bella-ca @canadianspnhunter @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @ericaprice2008 @impala-dreamer @impalaimagining @katymacsupernatural @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @luci-in-trenchcoats @mamaredd123 @masksandtruths @mirandaaustin93 @muchamusedaboutnothing @our-jensen-ackles-love @roxyspearing @sea040561 @snffbeebee @spnwaywardwitch @squirrelnotsam @winchesterprincessbride

[gguktastic]

Some Things Shouldn't Be Kept Secret.

A/N - I am exhausted. This has taken three days. My finals are coming up in a month. I have had to complete the question and answers to two chapters in our 2nd Language Studies, which is Hindi. I had to write two informal letters and a 7-page-long essay on what I did when I visited my native village, how I spent NYE, and the essay was to be written about a house on fire. Then Maths. You'd better be happy with this one, guys. This is VERY LONG, so sorry if you don't like such long imagines. Also what even is the title I am horrible at that stuff. Also, I had the inspiration for the 'diary' part of the fic (WOOP WOOP SPOILER) from somewhere else, whether it was a published book or an imagine, it just crossed my mind and I wrote it down. GENRE - Fluff. WARNINGS - None. // It had been a particularly great day for me yesterday. I had begun the day with a much-needed mug of coffee, and finally having a bagel after several weeks, managing not to burn it, for once. After an insanely amazing and relaxing shower, I had flopped onto my bed, logged onto tumblr, and stayed there for the next 3 hours in the fluffiest onesie I owned. #BestMorningEver. Then, when I finally decided to head out of the house to go pick up some groceries, I ran into an old friend. Not any old friend, mind you, my best friend from when I lived in Lancashire. Also, it doesn't hurt to mention, that the 'old friend' I bumped into was world-famous-YouTuber, Phil Lester I had been looking for microwaveable popcorn with the extra butter at Tesco, and then, when I finally found it, it was too high for me to reach. Tesco with it's bloody high shelves. I was looking around for help, when a shopping trolley rammed me from behind. I almost fell onto the dirty linoleum floor of the super market when I tried to steady myself on my cart, which was right in front of me. Of course, me being an incredible clumsy person, tripped thrice over my own legs while trying to do so, and pushed my cart away from me, which collided into a wall, the groceries spilling out. I had, however, steadied myself - successfully and without dropping anything - on a rack beside me, thankfully on my feet instead of being flat on my stomach. (A/N - That has actually happened to me, guys. It has been inspired by real, true life events). Now you're wondering- [Y/N], so you had the best morning ever with coffee, un-burnt bagels, and then three hours of scrolling through tumblr in your fluffiest onesie, but when you said 'particularly great day' - well, doesn't that mean the whole day went by smoothly and don't you think almost falling over onto your stomach in Tesco and ramming your shopping cart against a wall in the space of 7 seconds puts a sour spot on your day? Well, it was all okay because the person that rammed into me from behind was my long-lost best friend, who recognised me as soon as I turned around to look at him and graciously accept any apology he offered, and smothered me in the warmest hug ever. I tensed up and pulled myself away from them. It took me a few seconds of scrutinising their hopeful face to realise who the man was. When I did realise, my mouth dropped open. "Oh my god, are you Phil? Phil Lester?" I said, overwhelmed, as he just nodded his head enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, I am! And would you be [Y/N] from Rawtenstall, Lancashire?" He asked, hope shining in his eyes. I too nodded enthusiastically and, after a second of grinning at each other, he grasped my hands and looked me in the eyes. "Don't worry, [Y/N], I don't hold you responsible for the dead rabbit on my parents' bed incident." I burst out laughing as I recalled Phil's sad face as his mum yelled at him for putting a dead rabbit on her bed, something which had been my idea. He pulled me into a hug again and, this time, I hugged back. "It's been so long, [Y/N]," Phil said as we hugged. "No kidding, Mister Famous," I joked. He pulled away and began to say something when he looked over my shoulder to see my groceries fallen out of my trolley. He frowned and ran to it, and, in a minute, got my trolley back to me, the cracked eggs now paid for and replaced. I thanked him. "No problem, [Y/N]! It's so nice meeting you after all of these years! How about I give you my phone number and address so we can meet up at my place sometime?" He suggested. "Why not, Philly! Here you go," I said, unlocking my phone and giving it to him, allowing him to put in save his contact as, of course, Phil Striker 🦁🐗. He put in his address in notes, and handed my phone back to me. "Well, I think I should leave now-" I cut Phil off. "But could you just get me the extra butter popcorn from up there before you leave, Phil?" I asked, and he happily obliged, using his height to my advantage. I grabbed my popcorn from him as I gave him a small wave, him walking away, waving back at me. Coming back home, I lounged around, eating some Nutella from straight out of the jar, when I decided to text Phil about our plans. [Y/N]- Hi, Phil! It's [Y/N] here. So, about those palms for meeting up- don't wanna seem too eager, but are you free tomorrow? I could come over to your place if you like! Within minutes, Phil replied, Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - Hey [Y/N]! Btw what palms are you talking about? I blushed and face palmed when I saw the typo. (A/N - That was an actual typo I made while writing this. I decided to leave it in). [Y/N] - Oh Lord Jesus I hate myself. I meant plans, not palms. 😓 Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - hey that's k I was just joking around with ya! Oh and I'm completely free tomorrow, except that I need to film a video, so would you do it with me? I want to do the 'long-lost BFF challenge tag' with you. Let's see how much you and I remember 😜 and then we can go out for dinner, though do you mind if Dan (room mate fellow YouTuber and current BFFL - soz) tags along? I laughed at his message. He wanted to do a video with me? I decided to give the man-child what he wanted. [Y/N] - Whew thanks! Oh and sure no prob, I'll be glad to (tho you'll have to help me with my camera shyness k) and I am offended Phil Lester you replaced me how could you?! Jk don't worry ofc he can tag along no prob. Phil replied 10 minutes later. Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - Sorry [Y/N], Dan yelled at me for eating his cereal without his permission ): and thank you! Ps Whew for a second I was worried you were actually offended. I grinned at my screen. [Y/N] - You need to learn how to be a good room mate Phil Michael Lester you cereal-thief. And no prob, I'm sure Dan will be lovely as well (: haha don't worry I won't ever be offended by that we had lost contact for so many years after all! See you then, gtg, the monster in my stomach wants some food. Your place tomorrow, then? I'll be there by 5:00? If you're not okay with that time or want to shift to another day that's fine (: I put my phone aside to get a cookie, but was interrupted by the harsh 'ping!' Of my phone. I sat back down on the couch. Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - No no no that time and place are k! And I know I have a problem I need to be a better room mate and deserve to live in shame (A/N - Phil missed the 'to leave' after the 'to live' high five if you got my reference before reading this A/N. Back to the story now). I smiled. [Y/N] - Sure, Phil, see you tommorow! Also, you were very correct about having to live in great shame. Jk. You're AMAZING, PHIL (Bd-Dm-tss). Bye - for now! My phone 'ping!'- ed with one last text from Phil. Phil Striker 🦁🐗 - Hmm I read that pun out to Dan and he's still cringing you already have a bad impression well bye to you too and see you tomorrow, I have to go to Tesco (again) to get some more cereal for Dan because I forgot to earlier today ): the things this boy makes me do. I laughed and just responded with a 'Haha, bye!', as I tossed my phone onto my couch, it landing safely, but not before doing three triple loops in the air and almost giving me a heart attack. I softly laughed at yesterday's memories, as I waited for the lift to reach the 11th floor of the building. 9... 10... I nervously bounced on the balls of my feet, careful not to be too excited, scared that the lift would shudder and fall down. 11. I heaved a sigh of relief - the lift was incredibly slow, and I was not doing too well in such a cramped space. It felt like the nervous energy radiating from me bounced off of the four walls, ricocheting back into me. Did that make sense? I don't even know. The lift doors opened, and I was out the second they did - closed, cramped, spaces are not my friends. At least I had stopped having panic attacks now. Phil, however, had helped me out every time I had a panic attack on a lift, when we were still in contact. I had to use a lift almost everyday while I was an intern at the Rawtenstall Times after a course in Journalism at university. I remember having his contact open on my phone, and calling him as soon as I got into whichever lift was empty and functional. He would stay on the line with me for whatever length of time I needed him to be. Thankfully for me - and our phone bills - never in my life have I had to suffer through several minutes and even hours of pure terror in case of the lift braking down. After seven years, I finally had the option to call him if I had a panic attack, and I was finally getting to sit down and talk to him about the most random of things like we used to. I knocked on the white door. Just two layers of paint and a moderately thick wall separating me from my once-best-friend. I anxiously drummed my fingers on my thigh, my eyes flitting from one spot on the monotone grey carpet to another. Finally, after a painstakingly long minute, I was blessed with the visual and sound of the doorknob turning. As the door opened, I grinned wide and prepared to greet my friend who opened the door - except that instead of the raven black hair and blue-green-yellow eyes, what I saw were twinkling brown eyes, ones you could easily get lost into, and a slightly-wavy chocolate brown fringe. "Not to sound rude, but-may I know who you are?" The man asked. My grin, which had faltered just for a second, returned as a much smaller version of itself. "Hi, I'm [Y/N]. I'm here to meet Phil," I said, extending my hand to the incredibly tall man, not unlike Phil. He opened the door wider, and took my hand, shaking it. "Oh, nice meeting you, [Y/N]. Phil told me you'd be coming by today. My name is Dan, by the way, I'm Phil's room mate," he said, and I smiled at him. I opened my mouth to say that I had heard about him, when realisation dawned in his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry, come on in!" He said, and I thanked him before entering. Dan led me to the lounge, where we were making small talk, when Phil walked in, wearing black skinny jeans and a red-and-black button up. His eyes brightened up. "Oh, hello, [Y/N]! Dan, this is the friend I was telling you about. I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, [Y/N], I was actually in the shower," he said, sounding truly apologetic. I laughed. "Don't worry, Phil, I don't mind. Also, I got that you were in the shower as soon as I walked in, hearing your soulful and romantic rendition of 'My Heart Will Go On'," I said, making Dan guffaw. Phil's cheeks were painted with an angry red blush as he mumbled something about Dan and I not recognising his artistic abilities. "Well, [Y/N], even after you have mercilessly shamed me for honing my artistic abilities, I'm still willing to do that video with you, for I am the kind prince of England," he said, taking a 'regal' pose. I laughed again, getting up and off the couch, as Dan just rolled his eyes and leant back in what he had told me was his 'Sofa Crease'. "Have fun, you guys," Dan said, as we disappeared into Phil's room. // "I completely and utterly destroyed you at the challenge tag, [Y/N]," said Phil proudly as we got out of the room, after filming the video for his channel. I shrugged. "Well, at least I remembered all of the embarrassing stories, so that's fine," I said. "But you could've stalked me on social media and found out all of those facts about me, and yet, I WON," Phil said, smug smirk placed upon his face. Dan interrupted our small little argument. "That aside- Phil, you never told me how you 'bumped into' [Y/N] yesterday," he said, eyebrows raised as his eyes remained focused on the screen of his laptop. "I met her at Tesco, I actually accidentally rammed into her with my shopping cart from behind-" Dan snorted. "Wow, Phil, you meet a friend after seven years and how? Because you rammed your shopping cart into them. Good going, mate," He said, not once looking up at us as he slowly munched on Doritos from a bag and scrolled through, from what I could see, tumblr. I sat down beside him before putting my hand into the bag and starting to eat the Doritos. Either Dan didn't notice, or he just didn't mind. "You know how clumsy I can be! Anyways, when I did, [Y/N] almost fell down but, using my super strength, I caught the damsel in distress in my muscular arms. She -" I cut Phil off. "-is so horrified by the lies you are telling your best friend that she has decided to ask you to tell the truth," I said, glaring at Phil. He sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you the truth- or is it?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows. Dan and I looked at him, annoyed. "Okay, fine. So what happened was that [Y/N] tried to steady herself by grasping onto the cart, but tripped thrice over her own feet and pushed the cart away, which then rammed into the wall and most of her groceries spilt out while [Y/N] managed to actually and successfully steady herself using the ledge of one of the shelves nearby." Dan looked throughly amused. "And then, when I turned around to look at the person who had rammed into me and then graciously accept any apology they offered, Phil hugged me," I said, and Dan's head snapped up, eyes wide. "You did WHAT?!" He said, looking at Phil, who looked just as confused as I was. "Dan, I just hugged my friend-" Dan cut him off. "You idiot! What if it had been some other random person who you didn't know instead of [Y/N]? You could've been reported to the authorities!" He said, almost yelling at Phil. I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Phil, what if I was a middle aged mum whose husband was just down the aisle, gazing lovingly at his beautiful wife?" I said. "Okay, you could've been anyone, but I recognised you from the tattoo on your wrist-It's a heart-rate thingy with the twenty one pilots logo at the end and, below it, in neat cursive, 'Stay Alive' is written. Which middle aged mum has a tattoo like that?" He said. "Okay, so you have a valid point," I said. "Now, who wants some brownies?" // I groaned as I turned around in bed, trying to shut the alarm off. It was a Sunday,and I didn't have to go to work. Yesterday had been the 10th time in a row that I had dropped by Dan and Phil's place. Dan, Phil, and I had plans to hang out this whole week as well, and I was supposed to be over at the 'Phlat' (or the 'Phalace Of Dreams', as Dan sometimes referred to it as) in an hour to help Dan film a video. I, of course, would be behind the camera, not in view of it. I lazily got up from bed, walking into the bathroom. I let the water heat as I got out of my clothes, stepping into the now pleasantly hot water. I just stood in the cubicle, letting the water run down my body, relaxing my muscles and taking away all of the exhaustion from the day before with it as it fell down the drain. 15 minutes later, I was done, as I stepped out of the shower wrapped in a fluffy towel. Seeing as I was already comfortable being in my pyjamas around Dan and Phil, I decided to wear an old MCR merch tee with my trademark light-wash skinny jeans and worn-out sneakers. Today, I felt extravagant, so I took a cab from my place to the Phlat, seeing as it was a 15 minute walk and I was not in the mood. As I sat in the cab, I put my hand in my fringed satchel to get some money out, only to be met with the sinking feeling of not having my trusty notebook there. It was a small A5 sized leather bound notepad, into which I jotted down my reminders, lists and also about the highlights of my day. It was the first thing I'd rescue if my house was on fire, that's how important it was. And it definitely wasn't at my place. It must be at Dan and Phil's place. I let out a sigh of relief at the fact that if it wasn't at my place or in my bag, it would be at Dan and Phil's, and they knew better than to peek in it. That's because Phil had once tried and then got a pillow thrown at him at full force. They wouldn't dare. They better wouldn't. // As soon as I let myself into the house after Dan opened the door for me, I had known something was wrong. Without so much as a 'hello' to me, he told me to follow him. Dan led us over to the lounge, and asked me to take a seat as he closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath as he took the seat beside me, looking down at his feet. "So, I found something..." He said, all flustered. Forget the diary, Dan's behaviour was #1 on 'The List Of Things [Y/N] Is Currently Concerned About.' "Continue," I said. "And, um- there were some things written about me which flattered me," he mumbled, me, however, being able to catch every word he said. "And...?" He pulled his hands out from behind his back, and my whole world came crashing down. My diary. "May I ask, Miss [Y/L/N], what this object is?" He asked, any trace of being flustered gone. His nervous twitching of the left hand was now replaced by a confident and smug smile on his face that he tried, and failed, to conceal. It was my turn to blush. "I- uh- I work at a- a newspaper office," I said. "And t- that's just the diary I write in. You know ideas f- for my column." I hadn't been lying about me working at a newspaper office. I was interning at the Daily Mail, where I would soon get a job under the Teen Magazine section, where I would write articles for teens. (A/N- I know nothing about the Daily Mail. Just making things up over here). However, I did lie about writing down ideas for my column in that diary. In that moment, if the world hasn't crashed badly enough around me before, the pieces burst into flames as Dan opened to a page and started to read. "18th of February, 2017, I just came back from the Phlat and had a genuinely good time with Dan. When I looked him up, I mean- he was actually so good looking- but now that I know what he is really like, I think I might really like him. 21st of February, 2017, woah, just had the best day ever with Dan! Phil was out today, so Dan called me over to help film a video of his. Later, we had Chinese take out for dinner, and I felt my gut do a 180 whenever we made physical contact. I'm actually falling for him hard, aren't I?" Dan snapped the book shut and looked up at my face, which was painted with a violent crimson. "You just go on and on about how you love my smile, my eyes, me, for a whole week, [Y/N]. And then, I stumbled across this paragraph," he said, and I knew which paragraph he was talking about. "28th of February, 2017, I'm still at their place, but they're currently not in the room, so I thought, why not? Just wanted to write about how I utterly wanted to kiss Dan Howell then and there after he opened he door, shirtless, hair not straightened. Well, they're back now, so goodbye." Dan smiled bashfully at me. Some of the blush had started to creep back into his cheeks, and I was currently biting my bottom lip, looking down at my tattoo, very embarrassed. Again, I felt my guts do a one-eighty as Dan lifted my chin up with his thumb, making me look at him. I fiddled with the aquamarine ends of my black hair, as I looked up at Dan with my green eyes. He leaned down, our foreheads touching, and smiled at me. Those dimples are going to be the death of me. "[Y/N], like how you wanted to kiss me yesterday when I opened the door for you, I have wanted to do that ever since Phil told me about the bad pun you had texted him, before I had even seen you. I've been madly and truly in love with you, [Y/N]. It seems impossible that these feelings could develop in just 10 days, but they did, didn't they?" Saying so, he put his lips upon mine. The first thing that crossed my mind was that this was the first kiss that had held any meaning to me. Sure, I had had my first kiss at a party while we played Spin The Bottle, but they didn't open up the gates to zoo in '[Y/N]-tummy-land'. I remembered that my breath could be stale by now, considering the fact that I had run out of tic-tacs to eat in the lift, but reminded myself that I had brushed not an hour ago. I felt my eyes flutter shut as Dan pulled me closer to him, hoisting me onto his lap. I tangled a hand in his curly hobbit-hair, the other on his cheek. He ran a hand through my freshly-washed, soft, and untangled hair, easing it out of his ponytail. His other hand encircled my waist, pulling me closer every time I pulled my body away from his. At this point, a kiss would've probably gotten much heated, but our's still remained sweet and innocent, yet heavily passionate. We slowly pulled away from each other, my eyes still closed as I touched my forehead to his. He bumped our noses together, making me giggle. Just then, the door opened and Phil entered. I turned to the door, eyes wide in horror, while Dan just gave Phil a crooked smile. Phil, in reply, almost dropped his laptop, and rushed out of the room, but not before Dan yelled out - "I JUST KISSED HER!" I, of course, blushed. The 'being flustered' soon changed to confusion. "Dan," I asked, "Why was he so terrified? I mean, sure, he acts like he's an innocent ray of sunshine, but we weren't even kissing that time! Why did he run away like that?" Dan turned away from the door, and looked at me. He grinned at me before replying: "Didn't you see? The camera was pointed towards us - he was doing a live stream."