#but. yeah. ipad nightmare.

[spring-lxcked]

forever in agreement that giving sp.ringtrap like. an iphone or ipad would be so funny.

[octuscle]

The car makes the man

James didn't actually want a car. Cars were the death of the planet. Cars were an expression of a cult of masculinity. Cars were time wasters. But the new job he had required a car. He couldn't cope with his deadlines without one. The new job paid well. The car was paid for twice and three times over thanks to the pay rise. And he only wanted something small and used. The car had to be reliable and use little or no fossil fuel. And above all, it had to be small. Finding a parking space in James' neighborhood was hell.

James had prepared himself. On his iPad, he had selected a number of possible offers. And now he was walking through the rows of used car dealers far outside the city, looking for the small cars he had liked on the internet. And then he saw his nightmare: the epitome of a used car dealer approaching him. A man almost 2 meters tall, corn-fed, toothpaste grin. And a handshake like a vice.

"Hi, I'm Honest Pete, how can I help you son?" James said looking around first, thank you very much! Pete said that wouldn't be a problem. Could he offer a coffee? James nodded and tried as hard as possible not to make eye contact with the pushy salesman. Pete disappeared, only to return shortly afterwards with a tin cup. James was surprised, he had expected an espresso cup. "You look like a guy who drinks his coffee strong, black and hot. Am I right?" James was actually more of an herbal tea drinker. But to be polite, he took the cup and took a sip. Shit! It was bloody strong! "So son, who's the car for? Your girlfriend? You won't have a daughter who can drive yet." Pete laughed boomingly. James smiled curiously and said that he needed a car for work. "I knew you were lost. Follow old Pete!" James actually wanted to protest. But my God, Pete was a professional. Maybe he should make a suggestion. "On a side note, son: I like your haircut! A good honest mullet is the only way a man can wear his hair long. Not that hipster man bun shit. Am I right?" Hehehe, thought James. Business in the front, party in the back. And he had a lot of partying in the back. Pete asked what his name was. James replied and Pete slapped him on the shoulder. "Jim, nice to meet you. I bet we're going to have a lot of fun today.“ Just as James was about to reply that it was "James" and not "Jim", Pete took a tin of chewing tobacco out of his pants, took a pinch and held it out to James. "Sorry, smoking's not allowed here. But maybe this will help you." Shit, Pete was a good judge of character. James's fingers and teeth were more than enough to recognize the smoker. James gratefully accepted a pinch. Good stuff!

James and Pete passed a row of sports cars. James looked not uninterested. But Pete recognized his look and waved it right off. "Son, this European shit is not for you. You'll only fit in these cars if you're anorexic. And you easily weigh 260 pounds, don't you?" The man was good, James thought to himself…. It might be closer to 280 pounds right now, he thought as he patted the beginnings of a beer belly. "Son, no shame! A man's belly has to jiggle when he laughs. Otherwise he's not a man." Pete laughed again and his belly jiggled. James joined in and his belly jiggled too. "Besides," Pete punched James' shoulders again. "I know the problem. Still a brick wall of a man in high school, but once you have to work…" "You said it, Pete!" replied James. "I mean, in high school days, I lived on the football field and in the gym formally. But now…" Pete said, not fishing for compliments here, Jim was still one of the big boys. It was all the more important to find the right car for him. James snorted out the chewing tobacco and took a sip of coffee. It was still hot, but now it didn't burn the roof of his mouth. Pete indicated that James had something on his mouth. Fuck yeah, dew tobacco liked to get stuck in his mighty full beard. He rubbed his beard and asked "better?". Pete nodded and asked Jim's shoe size. At least a 12, right? James replied a 12 in tuner shoes, more like a 13 in boots like now. "I thought so" Pete replied. "We need something with big pedals, don't we James?" "Mate, it's Jim, not James! And the pedals shouldn't be the only thing that's big about the car." "Sure, it should suit you, big boy! But I think we've got just the thing for you here! Perfect for work. You can fit all your tools in the back. And if you go hunting, you'll have room for a dog, a rifle and a deer."

Jim took off his trucker's cap and ran his fingers through his sweaty, greasy hair. 8,000 dollars was way over his limit. His heating business wasn't making that much money at the moment. Oil heaters weren't particularly popular at the moment. But the car was awesome: big, powerful and manly! He opened the door and climbed into the driver's seat. Damn, it was like coming home. Pete was an asshole. Of course he had hit his taste exactly. He liked the car so much that he got a hard-on in his old army pants. And it didn't get any smaller when he felt Pete's hand on the bulge in his pants.

Pete became Jim's best buddy. At first they only fucked so that Jim could get a good price for the pickup. But they became the best fuck and gym buddies you could imagine. The only thing Jim couldn't persuade Pete to do was a mullet. Honest Pete was just a miserable white-collar bourgeois. But he sucked Jim's cock like the devil!

Pics by @ki-kink (he has more stuff like that!)

[bloodchapell]

he loves to hear you yap - armin a.

brief summary: just thinking about how cute armin is and him loving to listen to EVERY word you say

what to expect: alt and very nerdy reader, equally nerdy armin, mutual pinning

your sword’s note: really just thinking of how attentive and good of a listener he would be and I ACHE for it. all past and future parts of this au series available in my mistresslist

A month or so had passed since the semester started. Normally after philosophy class you would go to the library with Armin. He had convinced you to play Minecraft and you had convinced him to play Dress to Impress.

“Agh!!!” You screamed and turned off your iPad.

“Shut the hell up!” Pieck, your roommate, yelled at you.

“Sorry I forgot that not all of us have to wake up at 6 am to deliver a calf…” You apologized and she sighed.

“I will say the same when you are trying to finish up some jacket or whatever it is that fashion designers do.” She joked half asleep. “Why did you scream either way? The Sleeping Beauty nightmare again?”

“That is a very serious nightmare!” You argued. “No it wasn’t that, Armin just gifted me VIP in Dress to Impress…”

“That is so cute… now get married and let me go back to sleep, that 75 pound baby calf isn’t going to deliver itself.”

<WHATTT THANKS MIN😭> you. 2:47 am

<YPU DIDNT HAVE TO YOURE SO SWEET> you. 2:47 am

<It’s okay! I just really liked your vkei theme outfit and was very conflicted when seeing that you didn’t win… They really should made an “only pros” server, these people do not know what vkei is.> armin 👼🏼. 2:48 am

That made you laugh. He had only learned about vkei the day before, when you guys hanged out and he asked what vkei entailed.

After some more rounds of playing, you decided it was time to go to sleep, you said good night to Armin and left the electronics in the table by your bed. But before you could actually fall asleep your mind stared thinking about Armin. The wandering thoughts regarding the blonde would fall like a current that cannot be stopped, the way in which his hands would softly write in his notebook and his handwriting was so small and dainty, the way in which his slender fingers would hold the black pen, the way he would always pay attention and participate in class, his comments always so educated, organized and concise, like he had some inside knowledge and some inside understanding about it all; yes he was a little timid regarding social interactions, but when it came to scholarly matters, he was an eminence and his words would flow out of his pretty plump pale pink lips like it was just any other topic. He was so smart and so attractive when rambling about the ambiguity of morals and religion and science and politics, his bangs and longish hair framing his face and his lashes deepening the gaze of his eyes. Goddamnit was he handsome.

“Is Malice Mizer not on Spotify?” With his phone in hand Armin asked in class the next day, following like a robot Eren’s recommendations on how to behave normally when having such a fat crush.

“How do you know that?” You asked whispering in class.

“I liked the songs you showed me.” He mentioned still holding his phone. Your heart almost ran out of your chest when hearing that; not only he he understood vkei fashion to know that the fellow Dress to Impress players were ass, but was also interested in it beyond what you had explained.

And he was interested, not only because he would have the opportunity to have a topic of conversation with you, but because he trusted in your judgement so much that he understood that if you liked vkei as a subculture, it was for a valid and good reason and therefore he must check it out.

“Yeah sadly they are not in Spotify… I can recommend you some other bands if you want though.” You said and he nodded immediately, saying he would be delighted. You typed Sito Magus, SHAZNA, Gulu Gulu, Kaya and MEJIBRAY on his notes app. “Some of them can be a little heavy, I don’t know if you like that.”

“I don’t mind.” He smiled sweetly; he didn’t really mind because he was used to Eren and Mikasa blasting death black evil obscure metal.

Armin was trying his absolute best to not dissolve into a mass of anxiety and embarrassment, he kept thinking about every recommendation Eren gave him and even though sometimes it seemed like nothing he could do was powerful enough to mask his feelings, he trusted logic and knew that up to a point it could work.

"You said you had a playlist with all your favorite songs ever right? Can we listen to them together while you explain to me why you like them maybe?" He asked impulsively without stopping to think, almost immediately regretting the request before seeing your eyes glimmering like eyes do in cartoons and seeing you nod. Truth be told he was also fascinated with the way you spoke about your interests, you were so passionate and analytic of the things you liked that he could be convinced to do almost anything if you described it like you do with the things you love.

So after class you invite him to your dorm and you both sit on the carpeted floor while you go over every song and he listens to your comments and tries to hear the songs as beautifully as you do.

[headshotheaven]

if i have to bench nclair im blowing myself up btw. literally the funniest unit of all time yeah we keep him tied up in the back of the bus with gore videos playing on his stupid ipad like some actual clockwork orange shit until he starts tweaking hard enough to roll perfect on his skill 3. we literally all stand around him and go nightmare nightmare nightmare nightmare

[xo-zozo]

some jameson hawthorne headcannons pls?

yeah so jameson hawthorne is the love of my life and ya'll can't take him so

~ he's sooo clingy but like not in an annoying way, he kinda just always wants to hold avery's hand and stuff

~ i've probably already said this but his love language is physical touch

~ he's the kind of person who would get super tan and the sun (grayson would get FRIED)

~ he was an ipad kid... and so way xander and we all know it

~ i think someone has said this before but when he was a kid he would have really bad nightmares and he would go and sleep in grayson's room

~ i also feel like he would even get nightmares as he got older

~ he lovesss summer, like he likes to be at the beach with his loved ones more than anything in the rest of the year

~ speaking of, i think that him and avery would go to the beach together a lot

~ he HATES the doctor, even though he is the most lilkey out of everyone to be in the hospital, he just hates the negative feeling and he says "the dull walls make me sad"

~ he likes hugs... from anyone really

~ he likes to listen to avery talk at night, and when she does he likes to just hold her hand and play with her hair (someone write this please)

~ he's the kind of person to go live on instagram at the most random times and then just talks to all or the fans while running around the house and forcing his brothers and avery to be in them

~ i put something like this in my libby and nash headcannons but jameson also likes to watch when avery gets her hair and makeup done or when she has a fitting or something

~ music was one of his escapes when he was a tween

~ he would be the kind of person to wear a bunch or rings (could he got more hot tbh)

~ he had a phase where he got really mad really easy and he was just super moody

i actually love him so much he's such a cutie. this is so much longer than my last jameson headcannons so yall should be proud of me fr

[starfiresky]

Idk why, but Riku’s Braveheart keyblade design has been REALLY bothering me lately.

I drew some stuff on paper, and I liked the new design I came up with, but I was really not vibing with the cross guard, pommel, and hilt. So I brought the design over to the iPad and came out with this:

Nightmare form (left) and Daydream form (right)

I was so excited that I kind of rushed them, but whatever.

I went for a balanced light and dark design, since Riku has harnessed both as of KH3. Speaking of which, I renamed it Evictus, which is Latin for overcome.

Before you bring it up! I chose not to draw the keychain because I didn’t want it to distract from the main design. It would be attached to the tip of the angel wing near the pommel; and I’d want it to be either Mickey or the dream eater symbol.

Yeah, so what do you think? I wanted to kind of go back to Riku’s dream eater/ Way to Dawn roots with this one!

[butterflyinthewell]

Behind a cut so people don’t have to see me rant about my disabled, emotionally abusive dad.

So my dad fell twice in the last five days due to not listening to me and mom. He has Parkinson’s and if you dig through my posts you’ll see me talk about it, so I won’t go into it.

I don’t hate disabled people, just him. I don’t hate him for having Parkinson’s, I hate him for the abuse he inflicted on me and still inflicts on me with his disability as a crutch to get away with it. And I call out ableism when the problems we have with him are caused by the medical care system, because sometimes it’s not his fault.

But THIS situation IS his fault.

SO ANYWAY…

Last Friday, he fell because he wouldn’t stop rocking sideways every time he got up. He gets up with help and uses a walker, but he throws his weight around when he knows me and mom are two tiny women compared to a hulking huge man.

And he fell.

We had to call my aunt and uncle over to get his ass off the damn floor and onto his toilet commode so he could take a shit. Then they got him into bed. He claimed he was fine, and then on Tuesday he started griping that his lower back and buttcheek hurt on the left side. But he could walk and didn’t complain much after the initial gripe.

Today, he was all scrunched up in bed in a way that guarantees his back will hurt and made his pain worse, like I told him it would (and he wouldn’t listen to me).

Mom took him out into the living room and he fell on the way, AGAIN, because he kept rocking his weight around.

Now get this, he doesn’t throw his weight like that when therapists would come over. Dad will be an angel for them, but a nightmare for me and mom. He cooperates for professionals, but not family. He does everything in his power to make life as hard as possible for me and mom. I’m not kidding when I say that.

He goes to the doctor on Monday to find out what the fuck he did to himself, but it’s going to be a nightmare.

My birthday is coming up and of COURSE he does this right before it, and ruins any excitement I had.

Before you attack me for that, keep in mind that he pulls shit like this all the time. He knows everyone will be sympathetic to him while looking at mom and me like we’re evil for being exhausted, angry and burnt out.

The fact that we can’t afford to put him anywhere or get help into this house means we have no lives outside of caregiving. Every waking moment until we sleep is him and all his emotionally abusive bullshit, every day with no breaks, forever. He has ruined holidays, birthdays and plans because his only joy in life is making everyone around him as miserable as he is.

I’ve managed to eke out a few moments of joy here and there, but for the most part my life is a slog that never ends.

I laugh at the people who acted like COVID lockdowns were depriving them of life. I won’t deny that it was a traumatic experience, and this is not aimed at people who got sick anyway and now have long covid. This ain’t you, don’t worry.

But the people who acted so inconvenienced that their social lives got interrupted? Fuck off.

I’ve lived something like the COVID lockdowns for over a decade. No life outside of my house, no life outside of being a caregiver for someone who is sucking away all my compassion and love.

I can’t leave because I’m disabled too and all the legal shit is inaccessible to me.

I’m trapped, mom is trapped, and we are eventually going to die from the stress while he sits there yelling at us for not jumping to his every whim.

My only escape is writing fanfics and staring dead-eyed at my ipad screen, interrupted constantly by him demanding things.

I have accumulated so much trauma from him, and COVID, and mom having medical crises that were resolved, and my needs not being met, that I’ll be surprised to see 45. I will be shocked if I wake up alive on my 45th birthday.

I turn 43 this July 29, 2023, so yeah.

If I don’t die, my mom is going to, and if she goes we’re all dead.

I just hope I go first. Either heart attack or stroke will probably do it, but I don’t want to outlive her and be alone with him.

No child should be trapped as a caregiver for a disabled abusive parent, but it happens and nobody talks about it.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn

[theladyofbloodshed]

Another teaching story because I have millions

A few years ago I worked 1:1 with a child who was working 3 years behind his peers but was far bigger and had problems controlling his anger so was constantly in trouble. Other staff were like ha good luck. I spent nearly all of my lunchtimes trying to get him to talk about what had happened as he’d just sit and scowl.

He loved animals but getting him to do any work was a battle so the reward was always to go on the iPad and research cool animals or draw some animals.

Anyway, he hated everything. I hate writing the date. I hate underlining the title. I hate washing my hands. I hate Stanley Yelnats. So I started making a list of all the things he hated. Whenever he said he hated something I’d go to the back of the class and say in a loud voice “oh he hates x/y/z” and he’d try not to laugh. One day he said “I hate when you write that list”. Both of our faces when he realised what he said!! I strolled to my list and announced “he hates when I make lists of what he hates”.

The reward became that if he stopped saying he hated stuff we could play jenga at the end of the day.

You have to treat every child differently. He’s 14 now and mum used to talk to me when she collected his little brother even after he’d gone to high school to say how much he missed me or what an impact I had on him. When he left, he begged me to go to his high school with him. Some days work is really tough. Parents can be a nightmare. The pay is awful. You’re always feeling like you could do more for the kids. Then sometimes you think yeah I did the best I could for that child ♥️

[axel-skz]

Going ahead doesn't mean you're going to get there first

A/N: I’m trying so hard to write just for fun. Which means don’t stress about it and writing at my own pace. BUT IT IS SO HARD! I feel so bad that people are waiting. Then I give myself the reality check that no ones on the edge of their seat waiting. Then it’s depressing. Then I forget and repeat that cycle. Short term memory loss coming in clutch. I like how these are usually just bits of my life story lmao. ||| I’m away from my ipad atm so I’m gonna give an honorary mention to the 5 star album instead of shuffling a song today. STREAM!!!!

You have been away on a business trip and miss jisung so much. (No, it’s not smut)

(Ok but could he be any cuter?!)

You had a business trip. A freaking 2 month business trip. Your life had been a nightmare. Especially being away from your beloved, Hanji. You were in constant meetings and it was absolutely exhausting. It was the worst timing too because han had just got time off.

You hadn’t told him but you planned to surprise him. He had a week left of being free and you planned to spend the whole time with him. It would be so nice to finally relax and spend the whole time wrapped in blankets and the arms of your favourite human. Comfort personified.

He had this unique ability to make you feel stress free. Which was hard for you because you were always thinking about work or tasks you had. Not with him though, he was smart and it was impossible not to get lost in his eyes.

Oh, and don’t even start with his cheeks. You poked his face once for fun and next thing you knew, you had been there for half an hour, pinching his cheeks.

These thoughts weren’t helping you with the feelings of homesickness but that would all go away soon.

Your jet lag was kicking your ass as you made your way into your apartment complex. You were still so excited to see him though. The excitement gave you the capability to ignore the fact that your nose was blocked but could still smell airplane food the whole time.

You opened your door and looked around to see if he was there. After putting your bags in your room, you looked around to find that he was in fact, not home. You set up everything for a nice surprise but got surprised when he called you.

‘Hey sweet cheeks,’ you said enthusiastically.

‘I feel like my final words might just be me telling you not to call me that,’ he sighed.

‘I can never let go. You know this. It’s too cute a name,’ you said defiantly.

‘We can argue about this when you get back to your apartment and open the door to let me in. I’m tired and I’m cold.’

Your heart stopped, ‘my what who?!’

‘Your apartment? I got the address from your work buddies. I wanted to surprise you but you aren’t home and I waited like half an hour. Now I’m getting stares from people. Some guy gave me money thinking I’m a hobo. I’m never wearing these jeans again.’

You were frozen for so long he started to question if you were still there. You broke out of your semi conscious state and said, ‘ji… I’m not there… I came home to surprise you for the week…’

He froze then laughed, ‘good one! Now come open your door.’

You turned the call to a video call and he could see you in the apartment.

He scowled, ‘I’m exhausted and sleep deprived for no reason?!’

‘I love that we both had the exact same idea…’

‘Yeah, great, we’re both stupid,’ he laughed.

‘Well, a couple that does… stupid crap together, stays together,’ you chuckled.

‘You stay there, I’ll get a flight back. This will take a while so don’t move,’ he winked.

‘I’m not staying in this one spot for the next 5 hours ji,’ you said while squinting.

‘Get yourself a partner who will stay fully still for you for 5 hours cus you said so…’ he dramatically clutched his heart.

‘Do you wanna be single in the next five minutes? Because I can make that happen,’ you deadpanned.

His eyes widened, ‘I love you the most in the world! You are not allowed to leave me! You could never subject me to dying alone!’

‘And you call me dramatic,’ you laughed.

It took him an extra day to come home because flights had been delayed. When he finally got home, he was exhausted. It was good he had experience in flying a lot since he had to as an idol.

You hid when he finally got home because… why not torture someone who is so clearly exhausted and near the point of death.

He came in with the last bit of his energy coming from his excitement to see you. He yelled your name as he looked around and couldn’t find you. He stood still and you were so confused.

Then he sat on the sofa and broke down… he was crying… he sniffled as he got his phone and called you. Your phone rang in the apartment and he jumped.

You then popped out of your hiding spot and scared him a second time.

He jumped again then looked stunned to see you. He stared through teary eyes, ‘if you don’t hug me now for atleast 5 days, I will die.’

You felt so bad and ran over to give him a hug. He fell back onto the sofa and you guys cuddled for the rest of your time home. Just as you wanted. You made it up to him with all the different kinds of chocolates and sweets you brought back.

‘Y/N, you’re pure evil. You and minho hyung would get along great.’

‘One more thing we have in common.’

He looked puzzled, ‘what’s the other thing?’

‘Our love for you.’ This made him give you a big smile.

And for the greater good of everyone, jisung did not die :))

REMEMBER TO LIKE AND REPOST 😈 SEND ANY REQUESTS YOU MAY HAVE

Feel rich and boujee (idk if thats how you spell that and quite frankly, im too lazy to google it) with me.

[myarchivesfile]

Pre-Game (14+) | DPR Ian

song recommendation! leave the door open by bruno mars ☆

pairing. “you” 𔗫 dpr ian

playlist suggestion here!

You were sat at the dining table, drawing on your iPad when lens and blinding lights were thrown your way.

“I can’t believe you’re drawing right now!...”, someone said pointing the camera, and laughing “My God!”

Ian was laying down on the living room couch with his feet up, listening to her talk when he began...

“It’s still pre-game”, Ian stated, Atta rolled eyes and turned the camera his way.

“Though “it’s pre-game” she could go around rather than being stuck in a corner. Don’t you think, babe?”, she asks him.

“No, I don’t think so, babe”, she replays his words, “Mimic is an act of flattery”, he mocked her. He winks at her and she gives him a finger, “Oh. That hurt.”

One of his friends called him over to the kitchen, and he left; Atta took his place on the couch and stayed there doing something you didn’t pay any mind to.

You’ve been at the party for about two hours...

You walk outside to see how’s the weather, luckily no one was there out there.

You deep breathe out and rest your head on the wall...

But a loud noise ended your peace, making your heart race. Someone is coming out.

“Sorry”, “Are you good?”, you nod ‘Yes’, “Atta is not kind at all — sometimes — but she is a nice girl.”

“Thank you for earlier...”, ‘Yeah’, “But you don’t have to apologize on her behalf. She’s her own person after all, isn’t she?”

He says “You’re welcome” and you give him a gentle smile.

He inhales and proceeds to you a question, “I’m not trying to cover up for Atta when I say this, but...Can we get a drink?”

...What?, you thought. “Aren’t you two involved?”, he pauses with his lips parted and a blank stare at the empty.

You can see it in his eyes...He’s in shock. Is the idea of dating her such a nightmare?

He snorted, but didn’t laugh. “She’s like a cousin to me.”, he pauses to think, “We’re friends...We joke but it’s all platonic.” He’s flustered!

I see some history there... Interesting.

“I see...”, you giggle, “Can I ask something personal?”, ‘Yeah. Sure.’, “You two have never, ever hooked up?”

“No. Never. I’m sure dating her is an honor but if I’m being honest, I view her differently. Get it?”, you nod yes, “She’s a good person but we’re too close to become romantically involved. For me it’s bond over physical — Sometimes.”

You both laugh.

“I poured my mind out, and now I need a drink”, he says, opening the door and letting you in first then shutting the door closed, “Let’s pour it up!”

[kairiscorner]

Since you do platonic stuff and I've yet to stumble upon anyone doing this, we all know that there are some besties in Haikyuu, what's the friendship like between the girlfriend/boyfriend and the best friend? i.e. friendship between Kuroo's partner and Kenma or Yamaguchi's partner and Tsuki.

I'd particularly like to see Kuroo and Kenma's headcanons but if you have a favorite duo, go for it!

Hope you have a great day!!

P.S. I totally think the Miya twins are this group and also Kageyama and Hinata. Basically the duos in Haikyuu.

hello lovely ! omg, i was also thinking of kenma and kuroo when reading your ask ?! i love them sm i can't 😭💗💗💗

haikyuu pair headcanons: kuroo and kenma.

i like to think that kuroo has all of kenma's emergency needs, like if kenma was getting hungry, kuroo would immediately have some of kenma's favorite snacks in his pack.

kuroo is like ... a big brother figure to kenma, who's also kind of like a mother figure in a way.

like he can go from being all caring and pretty doting, making sure he eats his veggies and doesn't wear himself too out during practice, to teasing him and sending him crispy memes at the worst possible times.

an example of this is when, say, kuroo would be sending kenma memes before the latter's gonna have a test (his excuse is that they provide kenma with motivation, but if anything, it's kinda distracting).

kuroo is the type to try winning something in a claw machine to impress kenma, he says it took him one try to get the prize, when in reality it took him like seven tries and a couple of tears (and countless change) to get it.

kenma always uses the excuse of getting a new video game he wants to play with kuroo to spend more time with him.

he goes easy on kuroo when he notices kuroo having a hard time on one stage or level, it gets to the point that kenma has to remind him what the A and B buttons do, with kuroo smirking and saying that he knew that (only when kenma told him).

they definitely bake together.

(yeah it didn't come out when they were "younger" but bear with me here) i like to think that when they were kids, kuroo would tell kenma to come watch some fnaf gameplay with him, with kenma being a timid, shy little guy that was scared of nightmare chica, not wanting to make kuroo sad, would go along with it.

and they both throw the ipad out of fear when a jumpscare comes up.

they couldn't sleep for 2 days after that and their parents took away their ipad privileges ...

now they themselves play the horror games they used to watch others play, and they still get scared shitless (in a cool way).

[jammboe]

I dont think i ever posted this commission piece, from 2020!! The whole process was a nightmare since my ipad died about half way through this and i thought id have to start all over but thankfully i was able to recover everything and save my ipad from death 🫠😭 oh yeah its very low quality because i only have a screenshot and the actual file is probably somewhere on my computer. Shes got a cool design though very stylish

[mirr0r-image]

A rough gif of James, Albus and Lily Potter

Sorry for... 🥲😅🤪

1) How rough it is... My IPad and Apple Pencil have not been coordinating as of late so to make this I had to go on Pixelart on my computer and use the touchpad... basically any artist's worst nightmare... so lol yah that's why the colouring looks like it was done by a 6 yo lmno 😳😩🤓😟😐

2) DISCLAIMERRRR I definitely screwed up eye colour and stuff so yeah plz don't fill the entire comments section with stuff abt how their eyes or hair or whatever aren't supposed to be like they are on this doodle 💀

[c0ffeeboy]

cw: really really really long piece, cursing, mentions of crime and drugs, violence (?)

[i've been thinking so much about about toxic dark academia yaoi fall lately just- agh! so not normal about this.]

we're both in a prestigious law school. i'm this broke ass scholarship kid and he is from this old money bourgeoisie family who happen to be long time sponsors for the school. we both hate each other's guts and we both battle each other for the top position in class.

we hang out in different social circles too. he thinks my friends are too rebellious and i think his friends are way too out of touch with reality (which they are, actually). most of our interactions consist of sarcastic insults, name calling, and arguments about the course material in class.

i take an internship at this local law firm where my mentor happens to be the defense attorney in a case where his family could lose their wealth & reputation. i hesitate to work on this assignment, but then i realize that i hate him with a burning passion, and i decide to work diligently on it.

i'm sitting in the library one chilly evening, working on the case documents and sipping my masala chai when he suddenly materializes next to me. i quickly shuffle the papers away and pray that he doesn't ask me about them. "remember the group report we got in today's class?" he asks. "yeah, what about it, shitface?" "we're partners, dickhead!" he smiles, sarcastically.

"oh. great." i involuntarily roll my eyes. i totally forgot that we would be paired by the professor. "did you ask to change our grouping?" "yeah, actually! he said no." "well, he can go to hell. and so can you." i tell him, nonchalantly opening my laptop to download the reference papers for the report. "i happily would, but death hates me, so you have to wait."

i scroll over to the contents list. " i do the first half, you do the second half, i send you my document, you print it and turn it in. done deal." "i wish. we have to work together other the bullshit you will produce will not coherently go with the bullshit i produce. and then we will both fail. because this is worth 50% of our final grade." i totally forgot that. oh fuck, this is a total nightmare.

"fine, fuckwit. we start tomorrow. your house, because there's a party in my dorm." i close my laptop, shove my papers into a binder, take my cup and get up, walking away. i don't even realise it, but my heart is hammering like crazy. tomorrow arrives way faster than i thought, and i am sitting in the library of his absurdly huge mansion, enviously staring at the tall shelves of leather bound volumes. i hear his footsteps, and i go back to work.

"oi, here's some coffee." he pushes a cup of steaming black coffee and a sugar packet towards me. "thanks." i mumble, ignoring it and typing away at my laptop at the speed of light. "it's going to get cold." he says. "mhm." i hum, pirating a few reasearch papers that i need to cite. "for fucks sake, could you take a fucking break?" "no." " go fuck yourself." "why don't you fuck me yourself, you coward?" i reply, trying to not laugh too loud.

"oh. my god." he facepalms. "please, just do me a favour and drink the coffee. it's a special arabic blend apparently." "only if you let me borrow those criminology volumes on the top shelf for however long i want." i point towards them, not looking up. "yeah. now can you take a break? you're going way too fast for me to keep up." "you can look over it, if you'd like." i reply, showing my screen to him. i take a sip of the coffee, and it tastes absolutely wonderful, even without sugar.

"here, you can look at my work. edit it in places you think need it." he says, giving me his ipad. i look over it, and i fall in love with his writing style. it is neat and concise and it wonderfully connects concepts i didn't even know were related. it definitely does not need editing. "this is fine." i give it back to him, and he returns my laptop too.

"we'll continue tomorrow?" i ask. "yeah, sure. let me get those volumes for you." he walks over and pulls them out, handing them over to me. "promise me you won't give these to anyone else." "i am way too much of a gatekeeper to do that." i reassure him.

i stay up all night, studying the books with my noise cancelling headphones in, and i make notes in my journal. this continues for 3 weeks, and we both fall into a rhythm that we like. i can sometimes feel admiration for him, but i ignore it. i wonder if he feels the same way about me.

i keep working with my mentor on the case too. there aren't a lot of details, just that a gardener had died, and it was either a manslaughter or a murder rather than an accidental death due to poisoning. one of his parents was responsible, and the distraught widow was suing them in hopes of closure. what hurt most was that he had a child going through chemotherapy, and they were too poor to afford it.

the hearing date arrives. i decided to attend the hearing because i don't want to go to a celebratory brunch or socialize with the other interns. it goes well, and the judge declares that we need another session with forensic experts to determine the proper cause of death. i think it went well, and we have a chance of winning.

he runs up to me after, clearly in distress. "i thought we were friends." he looks at me with puppy eyes and i feel a bit of my anger fade. "we're not. i'm just doing my job." "do you really hate me that much? why are you helping these guys sue my parents? this could ruin everything for me." he says, on the verge of tears. "do you even know what happened?" "what happened?"

i sigh, and tell him every single tiny detail that i remember. "i know you think your life is over, but there's a chance for you after all of this. this kid gets only one strike, and i'm not going to let him down." i tell him, and walk away.

i get an invite to a party in the afternoon. its for the evening, and a lot of people are invited. i choose to go, even though i don't know the host, because i need a break from reality. what i was not counting on was the fact that he would also be there. and the venue was way too small and too crowded for me to pull an irish exit. oh, crap.

i stay in a corner, away from the alcohol and cocaine. he approaches me. "we have to talk." "okay." "outside." "why?" "oh, god fucking dammit." he grabs my arm and pulls me away to the back garden, the trees devoid of leaves and the air a little too cold. "what is it?" i almost yell at him. "why the hell are you always so rude towards me?" "well maybe if you weren't a piece of shit, i would be nice to you." "go to hell." "promise me i won't see you there." "you might." "then i wont go. piss off."

he tries to punch my stomach. i stop his fist and twist it behind his back. he uses his other hand to hit my shoulder, and i punch his ribs. we continue this, and the almost wintry air burns my lungs. my nose is bleeding, and his cheekbones and collarbone have a few bruises. i gasp for air, tired from the unexpected attack, when he crumples next to me.

"i- i can't." he breathes out shakily. "can't what?" i snap, not expecting an answer. "i can't keep lying. to you, to myself, to everyone else." "okay then, stop lying. simple." "do you want me to stop lying?" "please, asshole. you'd be doing the planet a favour." i don't expect him to bury his face in my shirt and start crying. i also don't expect my dignity, hatred and resolve to completely melt at this sight.

"i don't want to fight anymore. i don't want to live with my parents anymore. i don't want to be a part of someone's troubles. i don't want to hang out with these pricks that call themselves my friends." he rambles, and i can't help but bring my hand up and stroke his hair.

"i don't want to pretend that i hate you. because i love you so much." he says, completely breaking down. "hey, hey. ssh. its okay." i softly whisper, hoping that my heart doesn't leap out of my chest. suddenly, everything makes sense. why i stopped burning when i saw him, why i wanted to help him, why i wanted to hang out with him more often.

he looks up at me, his adorable features tinted red from all that crying, and i softly wipe the tears away, careful to not hurt his bruises. "i'm sorry i hit you. please don't hate me." he takes my hand in his. "its okay, i don't hate you." i tell him. he softly rubs his thumb under my nose, trying to clean the blood. i gently plant a kiss to his palm, not knowing how to apologize.

"you're so mean to me" he whines, cupping my face and kissing me. "yeah, duh. you suck." "you suck more. i hate you so much." "i want to kill you." "well, i'm already planning your murder." "you're lucky you're cute otherwise you would be six feet under." "you think i'm cute." we bicker, until i burst out laughing. "yeah, i think you're a cutie. sue me." i chuckle. he kisses me again, and i let it consume me this time. i want to spend the rest of my life with this man. i could burn the world for him. i would crawl through hell and back for him. i love him so much.

"hey, i found something that might be evidence." he tells me, breaking contact. i internally curse him. "you should've told me sooner! what is it?" i ask. " i found an old audio recording in the trash file of my drive. i don't have it on me right now though." holy crap. this could change everything, literally. "what does it say?" "i think its my dad threating to kill that guy with um, detailed descriptions of death. it matches with quite a bit of the autopsy."

"damn, dude. this is big." "yeah, it is. this could like, shut our entire family companies down." "school too?" "nope, there are many other patrons." "what about you?" "oh, please. my parents have a net worth of 700 million USD. i think we can afford to steal about 50 million."

"i'm sorry, we?" i ask. "yeah. we. us. your swedish hacker friend does this for a living and she owes you a favour. yeah, i know about that even though you didn't tell me." he smirks. "you went through my laptop." my jaw drops. of course he did that. the audacity of this bitch. "i'm sorry, i couldn't help it." he pleads, those eyes destroying my resistance piece by piece.

"fuck you." "fuck me yourself, you coward." he responds, using my words against me. "is that a threat?" "i don't know, is it?" oh god. this man. i clear my throat and change the topic. "i have to go to work after class tomorrow. you should bring the recording with you, preferably on a pendrive. we can't directly turn it in as evidence, and i need it to gloat in front of the others. also, we need to finish our report by wednesday." "its saturday right now, isn't it?" "more like sunday." i reply, pulling my phone out to check the time. 1 AM on sunday. i managed to bag evidence and get kissed by a hot guy. best weekend ever.

"mhm, okay. i'll do that." he says nuzzling into my neck and pressing tiny kisses along my jaw. i wrap my arms around him and kiss his forehead, taking advantage of his shorter height. "you want to come over? there's nobody in my dorm because everybody's here." i tell him. "you're rather bold, aren't you?" "yeah, well, i was thinking we could grab something from that korean convenience store and finish our work." i deadpan. "i'm okay with all that except the work part. we could binge something." "sounds good to me, let's go." we tangle our fingers, and walk away. i finally take a deep breath, admiring the chilly autumn moon and this gorgeous guy i totally wanted to marry.

🫀(blackbird)

PS: I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!! PLEASE FORGIVE ANY AND ALL MISTAKES!!! I AM SLEEP DEPRIVED AND THIS TOOK ME 90+ MINUTES TO WRITE!!! PLEASE LEAVE HONEST FEEDBACK AND PLEASE CONVINCE ME TO STOP YAPPING AAA-

i’m…going to think about this for the next few months and only think about this and nothing else

EVERYONE COME THANK BLACKBIRD FOR BRINGING US MORE AND MORE FOOD

dude i’m going to go make four vague posts about this i’m so sorry this is all i’m going to think about

i worship the ground you walk on for even a semblance of the ability you have to writes *insert chanting to the blackbird gods*

[multiimistakes]

MISC. Thistle HCs.

🌿 Doesn't actually like being on camera-—visually or via audio. Tolerates it and seems more at ease with Breck, but is by no means a showman. Arguably super awkward and I'm sure his chemistry as Breckin's foil is his only saving grace.

🌿 Nightmare on the aux since he just kinda of cherry picks whatever song from whatever genre and has no set taste. Likes your classics like Gr*en Day, L*nkin Park, Avr*l Lavigne, Ev*nescence. Pretty much any old school band the average alt kid would've been listening to in school. Unironically enjoys some N*ckleback here and there for nostalgic reasons. Enjoys your classic 2k white girl anthems too. Will curveball with stuff like as Ace of B*se.

If I had to pick a sound or a band, he's probably a Pop Punk guy. Really seems to dig (THESE) (GUYS) right now and (THESE GUYS).

🌿 A few stick and pokes but oddly not that tatted up. Does, obviously, have a thistle tattoo on his left bicep. Has been asked 'oh is that a iris/insert any other purple flower here?' so many times he just nods and doesn't try correcting people anymore.

🌿 His relationship with Breckin's content went from finding it randomly, to using it as his ipad kid post-work food entertainment 'cuz fuck it, to being genuinely invested and aggressively moderating the fan wiki because people were getting too much shit wrong.

🌿 Hair can typically found in one of three stages depending on how much he feels like upkeeping it. You're most likely to see him in the first. The second is typically a freshly cut style and doesn't last long. The third is what he ends up growing it to and shaping it into in order to cut it back into the second style.

🌿 Trying to quit smoking but half-assing it. Not a huge smoker to begin with, oddly enough and it's mainly because he's lazy or forgets. That little 'I need a smoke' voice typically gets told to shut up or wait. Keeps talking about switching to vaping but bitches about how 'dumbass kids are fuckin' shit up' because it's harder to buy fruity flavors now. Will grab whatever cigs are readily available but actually likes the 'girly' cigarettes like Virginia slims most.

🌿 Very likely undiagnosed adhd. Vaguely aware of this and maybe you'll catch him researching it here and there but he's got no intention of doing anything about it. King of the multi-pocket pat-down before walking out the door, of checking the oven two extra times to make sure he ACTUALLY remembered to turn it off, and of losing something he just had in his hand literally three seconds ago. Really bad about getting into his bouts of hyperfocus with either the hobby of the month or doing stuff for Breck. Will sit down to work on stuff and forget to eat, etc. Probably why he doesn't smoke hardcore but also why he can't quit. It's just somehow not as high as other things on the dopamine pyramid to dedicate more energy into but also too much of a good regulator for him to kick the habit completely.

🌿 If he doesn't have a cig, he's got some sort of sour candy. Tries to avoid gum because he can't help but pop it and blow bubbles and that annoys even HIM, lol.

🌿 He's got them weather bones. It's mainly his knees but really bad pressure days gets to his elbows too.

🌿 A 'Do no harm, take no shit' sort of dude. Will bitch a lot though. Lots to complain about.

🌿 Thistle could see a honest to god real ghost and be like 'Yeah, okay.' but would still run around with Breckin trying to disprove it. He's not really a skeptic and not really a believer, he just doesn't....care either way. He likes Breckin and so what he wants, Thistle follows.

🌿 Has that Southern sixth sense of 'We shouldn't be here' etc with supernatural junk. Just in general phenomenal at reading vibes from people and situations.