#but you know when i heard that i was like 'hm. sounds like a thelyss.'

[disasterjones]

so there’s this tiktok of a guy dancing to the Reading Rainbow theme and he is absolutely killing it and there’s a duet of that tiktok from the guy’s brother just excitedly shouting “THAT’S MY BROTHER” the whole time and I just wanted to share with everyone the best concept for Essek and Verin Theylyss thank you for coming to my tedtok

[writerscarlet]

The Snaps From The Same Little Breaks

A little Shadowgast fanfic I just thought up. Title comes from its time to go by Taylor Swift.

Caleb watches Essek pause when he enters the bedroom. The door to the room has no symbol; instead, it is a clone of the entrance to The Xhorhaus. He smiles when Essek sees the stained glass window over the fireplace. It depicts three scenes of the Mighty Nein and him in brilliant translucent colors. One of the dinner they had together, one of being teleported by him, and one of a second chance being given on a ship.

"Impressive."

It's all Essek can say, all he can will himself to say. Because right now, if he says anything else he'll something terrible. Something utterly selfish.

"Shadowhand I am told you are with the Mighty Nein. Correct?"

He's not surprised to hear her voice in his head. He'd figured he'd hear it eventually. After all he didn't tell her of his plans to be with the Mighty Nein. He assigned that to his second in command. There's an anger in her voice, beneath what would otherwise be a simple question from Leylas, Queen of the Kryn Dynasty.

"I am your majesty. We are... the Mighty Nein are trying to keep a fatal disaster from wrecking havoc on this world."

"You sound honest, Essek. And yet, everything I've learned has told me that you are not."

There it is. There is the thing he's been waiting for. The Dynasty knows of his betrayal. Essek lets out a resigned breath. It feels like an enormous weight off his shoulders. And yet... it feels as if there's a weight pressing on his chest.

"Thank you," Caleb responds, "should I give you the grand tour then? There's more to this room than a simple bedroom. There's a-"

"No," Essek interrupts. Caleb sees him reach out a hand beneathe his cloak, conjures his floating cantrip, and presses a trembling palm to the pane depicting the moment on the ship.

Should he ask if he's alright? Caleb opens his mouth to speak but closes it. He gives the drow silence instead. He has no idea how to phrase the question anyways. Speaking to Essek is a lot harder than speaking with the Nein.

"I will just... go then. Feel free to call one of the cats if you need anything."

Before Essek can send another message, the Bright Queen sends hers.

"I cannot find you. I assume you're limiting my gaze. You have one day."

"Please don't send anyone. I'll be back after the threat is taken care of."

There's no more Sends after this. He only hopes she listens.

"Caleb. Stop."

Essek turns around. Caleb pauses in the doorway. Between one breath and the next, a foreign sound escapes Essek's throat. Caleb gasps at the sob. At the tears.

"Essek?"

"I... after this is over, I will be reporting to Queen Leylas."

Caleb takes a step forwards. Then another. Then-

"Don't. Just...just- if I fall in battle, don't attempt to revive me. Tell the Queen of my fate."

There's more emotion in his voice than Caleb has ever heard. Something breaks within him. He's surprised there's not an audible snap. He can feel his eyes water. He can see Essek stand there shaking in front of him.

"You don't want that." Another step forward. Essek takes a step back. "Tell me you don't want that."

"I don't want to spend my life running. At least- at least this brings you peace. I can't start another war if I'm dead, hm?"

Another step forward. Another step back.

"You can't do good if you're dead. I can't keep you safe if you're dead."

Another step forward.

"Caleb please don't. You and the Mighty Nein-"

"The Mighty Nein and I will be fine. We care about our own, and you are one of us. I care for you Essek. I have feelings for you, Thelyss. A lot more than what's normal for a friend."

Essek's back hits the fireplace. There's an audible clack of the metal of his mantle hitting the dark marble of the fireplace. Another step forward and Caleb places a hand on his upper arm.

He moves it to Essek's cheek. The drow reaches a hand up not to remove it but to cuff it.

"You could have exposed me. You should have me. You did not. I- I've come to understand why and yet, Caleb-"

"Essek-"

"I care for you too Caleb. More than is required for a friend. Enough that I can't bear the thought of seeing you suffer because of me."

"I'm already suffering because of you Thelyss!"

Now it's Essek turn to gasp.

"Your comment about borrowed time has since stressed me. It has made me feel all the more guilty for bringing Trent down on you. Essek I can't bare the thought of you suffering. I can't fathom seeing you dead."

Caleb jerks the drow into his arms. "Please do not ask me to keep away."

"Don't... don't start a war for me," Essek mumbled as their foreheads meet. "Not over me."

"I'd fight a million wars for you Thelyss. Isn't that obvious?"

Essek's voice cracks. "Yes, it is. I- I would start one for you, too. But I- you would have to understand my hesitation to."

"I do. I- I really do. Thelyss, can I kiss you?"

He feels a weight pressing on his chest.

"Please."

Afterwards- after they kiss, after Caleb begs, after Essek promises- he falls to his knees, one hand tangled in his hand and the other muffling the cry that releases from his throat.