#but yeah it's been too long and sometimes it's like what am i even doing that's taking up so much of my time
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And there you go. There's a leek is bee's
I love this latent implication that a bee derives a life directing joy from the passive production of honey
#gonna have to assume I have always had access to both sides or alll sides or however you feeling like labeling#when I put things in perspective you are a good girlfriend who has been with me the entire time in this life#I actually said out loud yeah I was hanging out with two dudes online but no it was just one you#one fateful day she throws me here take this picture when we were just two foola peeking through wondows#and sometimes I would wonder if you were in the dark watching my window through yours#it is so hard to come to terms you were fully aware of my thoughts on things the entire time#but I gave them to you long before and after ao it makes sense#presence#we had plenty of those for each other all fall that's for surely#it is quite a rudimentary alphabet occult in the deathly hallows#I like this because it is my favorite story if all time#people are like itsya kids book kinda and U was like I don't give a fuuuuuuck#to a cuban: yeah I am going to a book party have you ever tried reading#sure show me the dotted line#I have a son I don't really care#like new bikes but can't throw me a few hundred ok#god...go do that on my own fuck thT#I talked to the mexicans did the fucking job and went home#Isauro: a girl mentions Wranglers (I didn't hire them....dumb Hector is) Isauro goes and asks her for sex but he is willing to pay her#only in Florida can you go into a swamp and listen to the Mexicans and their ways#Mayans? Builders? sure I've worked with and for them all amd none of them#e wallet#she told me she gave me her wallet at mons....she didn't even have a place to carry cigarettes and a lighter#just kidding you knew I was holding#what if I would have been like hey nah I don't have any cigs#yeah right a amoking show from you too#me: yeah yeah here you go me: 👁️👁️#I wanted to put my arm around you being in that state of dress in this place
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No more fuel | S.J.Y
paring | Jake x reader
summary | Y/n is in a secret relationship with her professor, Jake, but when a viral video exposes them, Jake pushes her away to protect their futures.
genre | angst
based on the series Strict Professor by ZSakuVA.
You were a college student secretly involved with Jake, your literature professor. Keeping your relationship hidden was essential, especially to protect Jake's reputation, as he was well-respected and admired.
In the beginning, your meetings were limited to his office, safe from prying eyes. But a few days ago, you both took a chance and met outside for the first time. Jake brought you to a museum he'd been excited to visit, wanting to share the experience with you. It felt special, stepping outside the routine and discovering a shared appreciation for something new together.
Jake's passion for art and history came alive as he explained the details of each piece, his voice low and rich with that thick accent that seemed like it was meant only for you. It was a side of him you rarely got to see in class, and you found yourself captivated—not only by the art but by the way he spoke about it, his eyes lighting up with enthusiasm.
It wasn't always easy. You both knew the risks, and sometimes the weight of secrecy was heavy. Despite of that, you couldn't bring yourself to care about what others might think. With Jake, it felt right—even if the world would never understand. You wanted to experience everything with him, to just be happy, without worrying about rules or expectations. But after that day at the museum, something shifted. Jake had dropped you off at home with the same warmth as always, but when the week began, things felt... off. At first, you tried to brush it aside, but slowly, the changes became too clear to ignore.
Jake started avoiding you. In class, his eyes no longer sought yours, and his once-frequent texts became sporadic, almost formal. Every time you tried to reach out, he seemed to pull back just a little further.
You couldn't ignore this feeling any longer. You had just gotten out of class a few minutes ago so as you walk through the hallway, you scrolled through your contacts, quickly pressing Jake's number when you couldn't find him in his classroom.
The phone rang once, twice, and then his familiar voice came through. "Hello?"
"Hey, how's it going?" you asked, keeping your tone as casual as always.
"I'm doing fine. And you?"
"Good... I'm good. Are you free?"
"Well, I'm rather busy right now, so—"
"Are you still at the university?" You stopped in your tracks, waiting for his answer.
"I'm still at the university, but I'm about to leave. Are you on your way home?"
"I am." you lied smoothly.
"Alright, then study well—"
"Where are you now?" you cut him off, quickening your pace down the hallway.
"At... at my car, but..."
"We need to talk." Your fingers gripped your phone tighter
"Can it not wait?" he sighed, sounding a little frustrated.
"When?" You raised an eyebrow, starting to feel impatient.
"Until the weekend...?" His voice trailed off, hesitant.
"Are you serious?" You stopped walking, confused and a bit annoyed .
"Yeah. I don't want to talk about this over the phone," he explained, his voice quieter now. "I'd much rather talk face to face."
You sighed, glancing around. "Then I guess I'll give you that." You pushed the door open, stepping outside. The cold wind hit your face, and your hair blew back.
"Huh? What do you mean?" he asked, clearly confused.
"I'm outside," you said, your tone flat. "Since you've been avoiding."
There was a long pause. "I haven't been avoiding you... it's just I've been a little busy with submissions and paperwork, so I thought it'd be best if—"
He stopped talking abruptly when he saw you standing right next to his car. You ended the call, tossing your phone into your purse.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He was wearing his glasses, suit, and bow tie, just like he had been this morning in class.
"We need to talk."
"I told you we should wait until the weekend," he said, taking his keys out.
"You said you wanted to talk face to face."
"We are face to face..." He stared at you, but then quickly added. "...but we're still at the university. It'd be better if we plan this for another day, when we're not in full view of the student body." He unlocked the car.
"Jake, what's going on?" You blocked his way, standing firm in front of him.
He ran his hand over his face, rubbing his nose bridge and letting out a heavy sigh.
"I've just been stressed." he said, his gaze meeting yours.
"About what?" you asked, your voice soft. "Is it about our date?" you added, referring to the museum.
"No, the date was—" He stepped back, letting out a frustrated groan. "We can't talk about this."
"Then when? Because every time I try to talk to you, you always seem to be busy or something."
"You really want to talk about this?" he asked, his voice laced with sarcasm, his eyes narrowing as he sighed and turned away, clearly trying to stay composed. "Get in the car.” For a moment, you didn't move, unsure. He gave you a pointed look and repeated himself more firmly, "Get in the car."
You walked around the car, he quickly glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then both of you jumped into the car.
"You need to have some awareness. Our private life shouldn't be a topic of discussion in public." He began.
"Then tell me what's wrong." you repeat, trying to catch his eyes, but he kept avoiding your gaze.
"I told you, I've been busy with submissions and marking assignments," he sighed, his fingers gripping the steering wheel as he put on his seatbelt. "Put on your seatbelt. I'll drive you home," he added, starting the car.
You clicked your seatbelt into place and then stole a quick glance at him, but the silence hung thick between you two as the car rolled forward. “What is there to talk about?" he muttered, his hands gripping the steering wheel. "This week's been busier than usual with someone leaving the department. I've had to take on more work. Julia's agreed to more duties in the literature department, so I've been given an assistant."
You tightened your grip on your skirt when you heard her name. Julia. One of Jake's coworkers. You'd never met her before, but lately, she seemed to be spending a lot of time with him. She was tall, smart, and had a great body—everything that made you feel uneasy.
"She's quite clumsy and skittish, but she's doing well so far.” Jake finished, his tone lighter as he even cracked a small smile.
"Do you spend time alone together?" The words slipped out before you could stop them, and the question seemed to freeze the moment. Jake's smile immediately faded.
"What? What made you ask that?" he glanced at you, clearly thrown off guard. "I do spend time alone with her, but she's just an assistant.” he explained.
"Is she new? I've never seen her before..." you crossed your arms defensively, still unsure of how you felt about her.
"Yes, she started this week. But that doesn't have anything to do with why I've been so busy." Jake clarified. You could feel your face betray a little insecurity, and he noticed.
"You think there's something between me and her?" he asked, his eyes flicking to you.
"Maybe." you muttered, playing with a strand of your jacket nervously.
"You want the truth?" he sighed. "She's stunning, and I won't deny that I can appreciate someone else's looks. But I only have eyes for you. I don't think of her in that way."
You barely breathed, trying to process his words. You hadn't actually cared about Julia that much, there was something else happening—something that Jake had been holding back. And now, it was spilling out.
"Haven't you seen the video?" Jake asked, his voice a little tense, eyes flicking toward you.
"What video?" You turned to him, a sudden wave of confusion and curiosity washing over you.
"We were seen at the museum by more than one student. Apparently, they took it upon themselves to follow us for a good while and recorded it all.” he explained, his tone tinged with frustration. Your mouth opened slightly, a lump forming in your throat. “You remember when we parted at the stairs, and I held your hand, just for that moment?" Jake continued, his gaze softening as he turned his attention to the road. You noticed his eyes were distant, as if he was lost in the memory.
You replayed the scene in your mind: the beautiful silver staircase at the museum, the brief but intimate moment when you both held hands, feeling like it could last forever. But it was just a second—a fleeting connection that now seemed to have been captured and shared with everyone.
"That one moment where I actually gave in—they filmed that too, and now there's no way to pretend that we randomly bumped into each other." Jake muttered, clearly frustrated. His fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter, as if trying to hold himself together. You could feel the weight of his words, the gravity of the situation settling over you. He continued, his voice lower now, almost regretful. "Even when I watched it, anyone could tell it wasn't just a coincidence. I didn't even realize how I looked at you."
Jake took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "The comments were—shall we say—not approving. There were some that argued we're both adults who can date whoever. But most—" He paused, his voice faltering. "They were tearing you apart. Saying you were only doing it to sweeten me up for a higher grade. Others said you were doing it for extra credit."
You dropped your eyes to your lap, the words stinging harder than you expected. So that's why people were staring at you. You had felt their eyes on you all week.
Jake's voice broke your thoughts, his tone more somber now. "When I walk around campus, I see students and staff staring, like I've done something abhorrent." His jaw clenched as he stared ahead, a muscle ticking in his cheek. "When people don't have enough entertainment in their lives, they gossip and tear others down. They like watching the fallout of rumors, and even stoke the flames if they're bored enough. We can't give them more fuel."
Your eyes flickered toward him, a sense of confusion crossed your face. "What do you mean?"
Jake took a deep breath, his jaw tightening as he tried to find the right words. "I'm saying that this needs to end," he said firmly, his voice hard. "You have to stop. We have to stop."
You stared at him in disbelief, your mind racing as the words sank in. "What do you mean, 'we have to stop'?" you whispered, struggling to understand.
"I'm saying this... whatever this is between us, it needs to end. The way you've been persistent, the way you've been holding on, it's not good for either of us anymore. We can't keep doing this."
"But Jake, you said we could get through this together," you replied, voice trembling. "You promised."
He sighed, rubbing his temple. "I know what I said before. I know... But the reality is different now."
You shook your head slowly, still trying to process everything. "But you said... we could pass through this together."
Jake met your eyes, his face hardening. "I don't think we can. This video, it's out there. And while the university might not do anything about us, the damage it can cause? We can't come back from that."
Your breath caught in your throat, and for a moment, everything went silent. Your heart sank as you finally understood what he was saying. The weight of his words hit you like a brick, and the reality of what was happening came crashing down. You weren't sure if you could breathe for a moment, the air feeling heavy in your chest.
You felt the weight of his words crash down on you, your heart tightening with every syllable. "What? Do you expect that by coming clean, it will just be accepted?" Jake's voice was laced with sarcasm, his frustration clear. "I don't care about their acceptance of us, it's not their business."
"Then what?” you demanded, your voice shaking.
"What really irritates me is what they're saying about you," he muttered, his voice rising with anger. "Things that aren't even true."
You shook your head, pushing your hair behind your ear, trying to steady your breath. "Jake, I don't care what they think of me. I told you from the beginning," you said, a faint tremor in your voice as you glanced at the house, you were home.
He stopped, eyes fixed on the pavement in front of your house. "Listen," he began, hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. "it was good while it lasted. We had some fun together. But now... this should come to an end."
You froze, the words hitting you like a slap. "Why are you doing this?" you asked, disbelief creeping into your voice.
"Because I've realized that my view of this whole thing was only driven by the forbidden nature of our relationship.” he said, looking at you. "It wasn't real."
"Don't you like me anymore?" you asked, your heart ached as you spoke, as if each word was a plea.
He exhaled sharply, a deep sigh escaping his lips. "I am attracted to you." he said, his eyes darting toward the road as if he couldn't quite meet your gaze. "But is it really worth it? Is my attraction and my need to have someone more important than your future? No. It can't be. I became a professor to nurture curious minds, not to mess with people's lives."
"The words cut through you like a knife. You blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. "Jake, please... let's think about this again." you pleaded, trying to reach he's hand, arm anything "I—"
"No." he interrupted brushing you off, his tone colder than you'd ever heard before. "We can't continue this. I can't let you endanger yourself because of me. Now go. You're home."
You didn't want to leave. You couldn't leave. Your heart was in your throat as you reached out, desperate to close the distance between you, but his words kept you frozen.
"I don't care about what people think of me, Jake! I only want you, and only you." you said, your voice breaking as your hand reached for his. But as you tried to touch him, he recoiled, stepping back from you, his face twisted with frustration.
"What do you want from me?" he shouted, his voice growing louder. His eyes flashed with anger and something else—something you couldn't decipher. "My attention? A confession? I've given you that! I think about you so much it's almost unhealthy!" He took a breath, his voice lowering as his expression hardened. "It's not something I can't forget but it's something I can end, and that's what I'm doing right now."
You stood there, paralyzed by his words, the weight of the moment crashing over you. “I don't understand! Why, Jake, why?" You raised your voice, the tears falling freely now, your chest tightening with each sob.
"I'm doing this for you." he said, his voice softer now, though still filled with a heavy sadness. "So you can cruise through your education without distractions. No bullying, no threats..."
He let his head rest against the back of the seat, his hand covering his eyes. He rubbed them softly, the weariness evident in his expression. "I should have never given in to this... What was I thinking?"
And finally, those words hit you like a punch. Your heart clenched, the pain radiating through your chest. You couldn't breathe, couldn't think, just feel.
"So you regret liking me?" You whispered, your voice trembling, the mix of sadness and anger making your words sharp. "You regret all of this?"
"I didn't mean that." he said quickly, looking at you with intense eyes. "Don't put words in my mouth, Y/n." His voice was stern now, a stark contrast to the pain in your own.The car was silent for a moment. You could hear the soft hum of the engine, but it felt like the world had stopped around you. "I thought I was better than this." he muttered, almost to himself. "I can't give you more than I already have. I can't let you burn for something I need to control. I'm sorry."
"Jake, please, we can make it work—" you started but he interrupted you before you could say more.
"I can't give you what you want!" he snapped, his voice harsh, louder than before. The force of his words made you flinch, a chill running down your spine. "Not when you're robbed of your reputation because of me. I won't allow it. This is my choice. I'll learn, as I should have done from the beginning, to only admire you from afar."
His eyes were different now, colder, harder—something in them made you feel like you didn't recognize him. You shook your head, the tears blurring your vision. "No more... now please, leave." His voice was firm, almost desperate.
"Are you fucking serious, Jake?" You gasped, the disbelief clear in your voice. You couldn't comprehend what was happening.
"I have nothing else to say!" Jake shouted, his voice filled with frustration. "You can go back to flirting with your peers, but not with me! We're to have a strict teacher-student relationship from now on, nothing more." His words were cold, barely looking at you, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you.
"Have you lost your mind?!" you shot back, your voice rising in anger. "Are you listening to yourself right now?
"Explore your options!" He yelled back, his voice harsh, almost desperate. "I simply can't be one of them. I've said what I've said, that's it. Now leave, please."
You glared at him, your heart pounding in your chest. "Are you sure about this?"
"We can't go back. We're done!" he replied, his tone final, almost as if he had already made peace with it.
"You're a damn coward.” you spat, the words like acid in your mouth. With a sharp motion, you opened the car door and slammed it shut with all the force you could muster, the sound echoing in the air.
You stood there for a moment, feeling the air sting against your skin. Tears running down your cheeks and the weight of Jake's words pressing down on you with each passing second. You wanted to scream, to run after him and demand answers, but your body felt like it was paralyzed, unable to move.
His car was already disappearing into the distance, the sound of the engine fading away until all that was left was silence. The reality of what had just happened settled over you like a heavy blanket. You couldn't believe it—this was how it ended?
You wiped your eyes quickly, everything felt like it was spinning out of control. Slowly, you took a few shaky steps toward the door, your body moving on autopilot. You reached for the handle, but your hand paused. You stood there, the cold air biting at your skin, feeling like everything you thought you understood had been ripped away.
Finally, with a shaky breath, you opened the door and stepped inside, closing it quietly behind you. The house felt oddly empty, too quiet. You sank onto the couch, pressing your face into your hands as the tears came freely. You didn't know what to think anymore, didn't know what to feel. All you could do was sit there, the silence surrounding you, feeling the weight of the day events crashing over you.
#enhypen jake#jake sim#enhypen#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic#fanfic#jake x reader#angst#sim jake#sim jaeyun#kpop fanfic
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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:)
#10pm on a saturday is a wonderful time to start thinking about how i am 23 and i've never been in a relationship#yeah i know that it doesn't define me etc but sometimes i'm just a bit bitter about it. as long as i remember ppl around me have had ppl#crushing on them and then they have relationships and it all just seems so easy. i have no clue how it all even works#siri how to get a gf pls help bc i do not know. and at this point it feels like everyone else knows how to navigate that#idk it just feels like i am broken somehow. like i've missed on something fundamental and now it's too late to do anything about it#and like. i get it. out of all the ppl in the world why would someone pick me. and i know my worth isn't tied to that#but it would still be nice to be loved. or wanted by someone. it wouldn't fix me but i'm pretty sure it would help some#it's just sad i think. maybe pathetic. and stupid too. and i hate how it makes me feel worthless even when i know it's irrational#it just sucks. and i don't even know what to do about it so i guess i'll just keep going.#pain misery suffering etc#personal
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my entries for the zine are finally coalescing into their final structured form and the running theme between all of them so far is just
youtube
#LL tag#zines#playlists#whosebaby makes playlists#i talk A Great Deal about how fucked things are in this world and narrative#and even in the best circumstances in AUs that still include those issues it's not the kind of thing that will magically get fixed#but damn is 'there are so many steps where things getting This Bad could have been averted; and it actually was this time damn it'#the kind of thing that is cathartic as hell in Current Times#both as a wish fulfillment fantasy and as a reminder that It is Not Too Late for Shit to Be a Damned Sight Better Than It Could Be#in the words of bill watterson: 'things could be worse; calvin'#'well they could be a whole lot BETTER too!'#anyway yeah that's the energy i am aiming to bring here with these#this does also make me feel validated in taking this long to do the actual drafting#sometimes things need to take a little while to bake and now i'm at the point where i feel like i could sit down and actually finish em all#in a fairly short window#and i feel a lot more confident in what i've got and how i want to structure it#anyway neck and back are still being a fuckin bitch but fingers crossed#wish me luck
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i wonder when the last time was that i went more than 24 hours without taking any form of medication
#i take at least three a day usually now#i mean even when i was a kid i had to take medicine all the time I've always been sick from something#but i don't know if i ever had a time where i DIDN'T#probably during middle or high school when i lied to myself about being healthy#but when i was a kid i mostly just had to take allergy medications and stuff a lot#and there was one thing i had to take all the time that was a gross goop idk what it was for tho#but it was grape flavoured which is probably why I hate grape so much also i despise liquid medication textures#i hate when liquids or gels are gritty at the same time it's the worst thing#i am also now realising how much pepto i took as a kid ive had stomach issues for a damn long time#i just never registered pepto as medicine bc it was bubblegum flavoured and actually tasted GOOD compared to all other medicines#which it's important that medicines DON'T taste too good to keep kids from trying to eat it like candy#which i definitely tried to do with pepto sometimes#i never actually succeeded coz my parents were good at keeping it away from me#at least until i figured out how to climb on top of the kitchen counters but by then i was smart enough not to (i think)#and anyways why grab the pepto when i can climb on top of the refrigerator to find my halloween candy#yeah i regularly climbed on top of the fridge as a kid i was fuckin nuts
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there’s like three things wrong with me tops but the three things actually become ten different things so when i think about it im just like Noo…i can’t come back from this (nothing significant has changed )
#i wish that I could sleep I think sleeping okay would fix like 80% of it#its kind of frustrating to struggle with sleep when ur someone who already has a hard time situating yourself#I know they typically go hand and hand but you can find some stability in consistency even if it’s not ideal yk#idk i just feel bad and weird lmao all my stuff feels unfamiliar and unsafe#I can’t believe there’s actual real things I have to deal with too like#i kinda wish i could let my parents know so I could get so leniency on the real life stuff but they don’t react well#very tired physically and very tired of trying to present myself as functional atm#i don’t know how long i can keep this shit up man 😹😹 not even to be dramatic just like i only really care usually because i want to maintain#access to a place im familiar with#but it doesn’t feel like that anymkre so i don’t know !!!!#i don’t like leaving for a lot of reasons but a big one is when i come back and im like wow i hate this and it sucks badly !!!!#i don’t want to be here !!!! there is nowhere else !!!!!!!#SOMETIMES i even wish there was someone in real life who i could go to with this stuff#but as we all know therapists were sent by god to kill you with bricks for not doing your positive affirmations so#what’s funny is with all of this ive also been concerned about how im coming off as like really miserable and negative and stuff#but like how would I even not come off like that i AM miserable! this is apparent!#yeah im just really very sad about my situation i guess that’s all that’s the problem I Wish Things Where Different#ok done now im gonna scroll on Zillow and lay on the floor
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apologies are hard and can be embarassing
but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad
#it wasnt a big bad deal#but i didnt listen and projected my guilt#i wanted to be angry and annoyed#but whats the point#is it really that important to feel right when youre actually wrong#to feel mighty bc youre less emotional than another person#its hard to swallow that pride and to admit you were wrong#but you never know if this moment is the last with that person#and putting in that perspective it makes it easy to say youre sorry#i sometimes forget this#something i learned very young after fighting with my mom and upon reflection realized i was wrong the whole time#ive always had this ability since then to swallow my pride almost immediately and jump straight to fixing what i did wrong#but then long story short i lost that ability when i learned the word 'no' for myself#i stopped paying attention and focused on only me#and sometimes i forget that this is not who i want to be. i forget to work on myself#im glad that i made myself apologize and im glad that i made sure i didnt apologize weakly#none of that 'im sorry you feel that way'#but id like to work on avoiding this all together. and thats hard for me. because it requires me to be aware like i used to#which for me is PTSD related. but i dont want to be on my deathbed recalling all the pointless times i doubled down#taking up time that could have been happy#people say its easy to be kind and it is but sometimes when youre guilty it feels good to give into your frustrations and get defensive#again nothing bad happened. i just told her i wanted to do the dishes. she was currently washing some and because of guilt#of my perception of what shes able to do i doubled down on me doing them instead of her even though she assured me she was able#i thought she was lying to me and she got upset. no yelling just not allowing her to do what little shes able#and not trusting her at her word. to be fair she does lie and will admit that she has- when doing things when i feel sick#even when i tell her that id rather choose what im able to do instead of her assuming. which is exactly what i did#me being a hypocrit. so yeah. not a great feeling on multiple levels of this scenario#but truly i need to remember to focus on what matters and that is just taking someones word for it while making sure they know they can#freely tell their feelings. meaning if shes doing the dishes and she says shes fine. let it be. and make sure she absolutely knows that when#i say im fine that i too am telling the truth
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Are we allowed to ask stuff about Kia or the garden? Or maybe her?
i mean nobody said you weren't allowed to ask about them lol, you all just assumed that (for fair reason, honestly, i freaked out last time you did). but i'm going to make it clear now that i don't like talking about the "her" you're on about.
curiosity is a key part of human nature though, so i'm not going to try and stop you from expressing that. i know it's useless of me to try.
oh and if you really want to know more than what i'll share about kia, just go find her. she's a girl who likes to talk about herself.
#gayson answers :)#do you really think i would have kept asks on for this long if i didn't want to be asked things?#they ARE called asks#you've just got to know how to ask the right questions otherwise i won't know what answer to give you#i'm bad at social cues and stuff. i don't know what answer you want out of me unless you tell me 😭#even then there is stuff i won't share for safety reasons#like names. don't ask for names. you won't get them.#but yeah. just ask the right questions and you'll get what you want#probably#sometimes questions wont give you want you want.#that or it's the person answering that won't give you it.#sometimes you have to find out yourself.#sometimes people will never give you want you want.#okay im rambling now#what am i even saying#ive been typing this for far too long im surprised kia hasn't like. peered over my shoulder yet
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[First picture ID: A waterboarded screenshot of text that reads, Not to doom post on main but yeah my boyfriend and I bring in approximately two hundred and forty thousand united states dollars, live in an apartment that is extremely reasonably priced, with minimal living expenses, and still have to buy cereal on sale and all my clothes second hand. Things are hard even for the successful (with the word successful between inverted commas) young adults (ellipsis). End ID]
[Second picture ID: A screenshot of a sarcastic post from twenty thirteen made by user @/dril, wint on twitter that reads, in a list, Food is two hundred united states dollars, Data is one hundred and fifty united states dollars, Rent is eight hundred united states dollars, Candles are three thousand and six hundred united states dollars, Utility is one hundred and fifty united states dollars. Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. My family is dying. End ID]
observing the responses to serialunaliver's parental income poll and finding that a lot of tumblr users are struggling to reconcile with the fact that they are middle class and above
#described#that first post is just insane even if you take into account the costs of living in the US#how can you say you're struggling with that income lol that's a cushy life and honestly i don't believe the second hand clothes part#even i get new clothes and stuff sometimes and i have been wearing hand me downs and second hand stuff my whole life#my househould's gross income per year is around 20k euros#that would be 121 160 ish in reais#and that's because two members are disabled and get a pension#my mum works at a factory five days a week from 8am-5pm and makes 1k-ish a month#my brother and i can't find a job because there are no jobs#and in my case i'm overqualified and mentally disabled and they won't offer accommodations lel#and we get the end of the month with little more than 200 euros to make it to the 8th of the following month#which is when the money comes in#we don't pay rent because we came to live at my grandma's house so we just pay the annual fee since the house was made in the late 60s#but the cost of living is too high welp#groceries are expensive petrol is expensive as fuck the car is old (1995 old) and always breaking down#my mum and sperm donor had to declare bankruptcy because of schemes he was up to so now she can't have anything in her name#and i'm just honestly a lost cause i started a phd bc i didn't know what to do with life and now can't even pay for tuition#and not to mention that it's not just the utilities we also spend a ton of money with medication and appointments and shit so like yeah#we need to take into account the costs of living in places but in my case i really am broke and my family is and always has been poor#it's not dissonance believe me#im also the joker welp but lately i've just been feeling like im a lazy freeloader who should have been left to die#when i wasn't born breathing and then turned out to come all broken lel but it is what it is#negative#money things#homiro said some shit#long tags
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“Batman, you need to-IS THAT A BABY ?!” - Batfam x Fem!reader
Synopsis : Bruce and Batmom bring their newborn daughter to the Watchtower, so she can meet their friends (or vice versa). Includes an overprotective Damian, League members who cannot believe the Batman is smiling, and other shenanigans.
Oop, I’m back (?). My dudes. It’s been TWO YEARS since I last posted here. Two. Years. I posted like, two life update...don’t know if some of y’all saw it, but long story short : I got married, I have a son now, and everything is going so well in my life that I didn’t really need the validation I got from writing online...Buuuuuuuuuuuuut, I still love writing. And so, after quite a long break, here I am :). Hope you will enjoy this, don’t hesitate to let me know if you do :
Please, do not repost my stories anywhere else, under any other form. Do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you.
My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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“You’re evil, you know that right ?” You say, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my love.” He answers, a small smile on his lips. You turn to him and...Oh that smug look, that smug look you loved so much. He definitely DEFINITELY knew what he was doing.
And that it was utterly...evil.
“It’s going to be FUN !”
Ah, and here’s his little devil. Damian himself. He loved this. Partly because he thought it was funny to mess with everyone, partly because he liked showing that you guys were a family.
“They won’t believe their eyes !” His little voice kept going, followed by a big roar of laughter that sounded, by all means, more childlike than devilish.
“That they won’t, they always seem so surprised when Bruce acts like a human.”
Jason. Still not calling Bruce “dad” (except sometimes, by “accident”, and even him don’t realize he did), he’d only slowly been back at the manor, with all of you. And, for sure, a certain important event which happened about four months ago made it so he came back to live at home.
Dick chuckled and added : “Who would blame them ? We’re talking about a man who eats his burgers with a knife and fork !” He gestured to his father with his left thumb, his other hand shielding part of his mouth as if he was telling them all a secret, as if he was trying to be discreet, so his dad wouldn’t hear...Always quite the little clown, that eldest son of yours. With his exaggerated mannerism, and that sparkle in his eyes, in his smile.
“I’m certain some of them thought he was genuinely a cyborg for YEARS” Tim added, quite seriously, his tone the opposite of his older brother (and that was just his way of joking...you think). And honestly ? Yeah, you were pretty sure some of your friends at the JLA thought your husband was a robot, at one point.
Oh yes. That’s where you were going, to the JLA’s headquarters. To execute Bruce’s plan. Quite the evil plan indeed.
“Hell, even I thought he was one before I met you guys !” Duke chimed in, and that made Cassandra smile widely, as she shook her head up and down pointing at Duke as if to say : “what he just said”.
And in a very Bruce manner, your husband kept a straight face, ignoring his children’s teasing. Only you, saw that twinkle in his eyes, that smile that might not reach his mouth, but was definitely dancing in those bright blue eyes.
Oh yes. Yes, your friends were in for quite the surprise.
************
Meanwhile, in the Justice League headquarters :
“Oh, hey ! Look, Batman’s zeta tube is turning on ! We haven’t seen him in a while right ?”
Indeed they haven’t. Because, well, let’s put it this way : Batman’s wife just had a baby.
A baby girl (finally, right ? You and Cass weren’t TOO outnumbered anymore).
And Batman had been VERY busy doting over his baby girl.
Batman had been busy being Bruce Wayne.
Just a man, who thought he’d never be happy again, not knowing how to handle all those feelings he had for his wife (for you), for his children.
That was happiness then, right ?
So, yes. Batman hasn’t been much at the JLA’s headquarters lately. But your husband thought, it was finally time to go see his friends a little bit. He knew they were all up there, because it was their monthly reunion (once each month, they gathered to talk about the state of the world, the universe, what threat lingered, what lurked beyond...and to get very drunk, and see their friends, the only ones who knew what it meant to be a “hero”).
And that what’s made him particularly evil.
He knew, they would all be there. He knew what their reaction was going to be. After all, his memory was amazing, he definitely hadn’t forgot the way they reacted the first time they saw you, the first time they learned he had children (childrEN, plural !).
And he knew they were a little worried about him.
He had missed their last three reunions, and only answered : “Everything is ok” to their messages asking if he was alright (they hadn’t dared to go see if he was indeed ok, because last time they did that, they found him bed ridden with all the bones in his body broken, and he got so mad at them for butting in his business he worked twice as hard when he was fine again, and didn’t talk a WORD for months...that was, of course, years ago, before you were in his life, but the experience was still in their minds and so, they decided to respect his privacy, he would come to them when ready). And he never pushed his “red button”, him, or anyone in the family.
They just assumed he was busy, they hoped it wasn’t anything bad.
Yes. They were worried. For him. For you. For your kids. For Alfred. For your dogs, your cats, your cow...They. Were. Worried.
And Bruce knew.
You told him, when your pregnancy was confirmed, to tell his friends. That they would be happy. But after his own initial happy thought, his surge of hope and love at knowing he was going to be a dad again, he started to make his plan.
Why tell them, when you could toy with them ?
“They deserve it.” He told you, and you weren’t sure if they did, but you weren’t about to fight him on that. After all, you too, thought it could be amusing. Amusing to hide your pregnancy, making up excuses as to why they couldn't come see you, and you didn’t come up the headquarter. Amusing, to even hide it quite expertly from any form of news (Bruce was a MASTER of disguise, not only for himself), so it would be a real surprise.
Amusing, to have your little girl in secret, with only your family. Amusing, but also what you wanted. For this good news to be just between you, your children, and Alfred. Your close family. Because you had too few things that just were yours.
This had to be yours. Your thing, your secret, your own happiness. Yours, and only yours. And you found it was good, that you guys spend the first few months of your daughter’s life only between yourselves.
It was nice, to go out “disguised” as a normal couple, and show your daughter Gotham (and how her little eyes already tried to take the entire world within them).
It was nice, to live in total privacy for a little bit.
So, yes, you had been a little selfish. And he had, too. You knew it wasn’t just to prank his friends, he kept it all a secret. That it was also to have some quality time with his family. To spend the first few months of his daughter’s life being the only one being utterly smitten with her.
Though, this last thing wasn't true...You were, too. And your children ? Let’s just say your daughter had not been alone ONCE since she was born. And she seemed to love it.
Whenever she made the slightest sound, smiled, laughed (or cried), they were there, Bruce was there, absolutely loving that little baby.
She was almost 4 months old now, and Bruce thought that the gist had to be up. What scale did he use to measure this amount of “readiness” ? You had no idea. You thought he was just now ready to share his happiness with his friends, and not just his close family.
And so here you were, after months of secrecy carefully crafted and orchestrated by your husband, in the JLA’s headquarters, along with your family, the little new addition to said family in your husband’s arms.
Evil. Your husband was downright evil.
He knew that what was about to happen would have a massive impact on his friends. He. KNEW.
And as the zeta tube brought all your family up there, you knew that as he saw their faces, your husband was a little TOO happy with himself for his little “prank”.
************
“Batman, are you al- IS THAT A BABY ?” Very typical, very in character : the first to react was Flash himself.
None of the other noticed, and they seemed inclined to think Barry had lost his mind but then...
Bruce’s face didn’t move an inch, he just held that little “package”, and had his same stoic expression except...Except there was a little hand grabbing at his chin.
Then another hand appeared out of that bundle Batman carried, with a bat plushie bunched in a tight fist, shaking it and...Cooing.
Cute little sounds, and the way- EXCUUUuuUuuuUSE ME ?
The way Batman just softly looked at her, the way his cold expression was replaced by a tender one as he lowered his eyes to her ??
WHAT ?!
They knew. They knew he had THE softest spot for his family. They knew his scary aura greatly dimmed when he was around his wife and children. They knew that when they weren’t there, he was only made of shadows. They were his light, his salvation.
They knew he didn’t have the same face expression, when they were around.
Well, when they were looking at him...Barry swore that Batman loomed around his family, standing menacingly behind them, his eyes cold and calculating as if he was ready to fight any seconds to save his loved ones, and then whenever they turned to him his feature would instantly soften. He will ALWAYS remember the first time he met little Dickie, 9 years old and so full of joy and life, and how whenever he would look at Batman and talk to him, said Batman got a softer expression somewhat, but then when Dick turned around, Batman looked about to murder them whenever they came too close from him.
Once, Tim, also 9 at the time, years after the JLA met Dick, told Barry matter of factly : “He doesn’t kill people. He could break your knee caps though” in a very Tim fashion. The kid was serious. And had noticed the aura surrounding his dad, how it changed when he was around (he noticed more than his siblings, because for a while, Bruce had been really cold and distant with him, since he met him not long after Jason’s death..understandable. So he was the only one who had this sort of behavior aimed at him, the shield Bruce put in front of him to keep everyone away so he wouldn’t be hurt, the shield that now was lowered for them and only them).
It was his eyes. His eyes that were always hard and cold, became different when looking at you or his children.
Not to say that his family never exasperated him, or that he never had his “mask” around them. After all, Bruce’s stoic expression was his face by default. It’s just that he was often too focused. And that he spend years practicing hiding his emotions, practicing keeping a blank face. Because Barry also remembered seeing Dick perched on his father’s shoulders, letting himself dangle in his back, his head upside down, whistling and kicking his feet, and Bruce having this stoic mask on, concentrated.
Anyway, they knew all that. It had been years, since Bruce finally trusted them enough to bring his wife here, and his kids. But yet, yet they were still surprised sometimes.
Like today.
The picture of Batman holding a baby was...a little weird.
Even if he opened up to them over the years, he was still mostly very cold, distant and aloof. You know, Batman. That’s just who he was. So sometimes, to see him so devoted to his wife or kids, it was odd to say the least.
And right now, as he walked towards them with a baby in his arms, the shock was real. Damn it, will there be a day when the Bat didn’t surprise them with something ?
How did none of them notice you were pregnant ? Proof again Batman was a master of his craft. And that little girl...
Oh your daughter was such a beaming ray of sunshine, that in his arms it was particularly a jarring image.
The big scary bat, tall, broad shouldered, muscular in every way, his face void of expressions, holding a tiny baby who kept smiling at everyone around, and playing with her plushy.
Odd.
Yet, sweet.
Were they surprised ? Yes.
Were they a little mad he hid something (AGAIN) this important from them ? Definitely.
Were they shocked that his daughter was so darn cute and smiling and laughing that much ? Not really, because you were his mom too.
Were they happy for him ? For sure.
Were they going to adore that little girl ? Probably as much as they adored his other kids already, which meant...yes. Yes they were going to.
Damn that bastard Bruce. Always so sneaky.
Hal, couldn’t help but think : “First, he’s not a vampire, then, he’s married with children, and now, he has that cute baby. This guy ??!!”
***********
The initial shocked passed, and only after your children MOCKED all of your friends (you had to give it to Dick, he knew how to imitate them so well..and when Damian joined in ? Oh, oh it was a fit of laughter impossible to fight that attacked them), did they approach your daughter.
“Her name is Martha.” Bruce said “We named her after my mother.” and it wasn’t his usual flat tone he used as Batman. No, it was a soft voice he usually only reserved for his kids. And the reason he was using it now ? Well. He didn’t want to scare his daughter, as he still held her.
She beamed at him when she heard her name, and babbled some baby nonsense. She then turned towards all those new faces, and you saw Bruce’s hand hold her a little tighter.
Your beautiful, sweet soul husband. He clearly was worried she’d be scared, meeting all those new people. Especially since they all wore mask. But Martha-
Martha let go of her bat plushy (which Damian caught before it touched the floor, rolling on the ground in a way you thought was quite comedic. Oh, that boy), and lifted her arms up towards-
“What a sweet little girl !” Diana said with a voice you NEVER heard her use. You realized it was her “voice reserved for babies and domestic animals”, and it made you smile. It was higher than her usual voice, and full of softness.
You thought your daughter reached for her because she could feel the warmness in your friend. And after all, amongst all of those gathered here today, she was probably the one that adored babies the most.
Diana looked at Bruce, who only inclined his head a little to give her the ok to lift her from his arms but-
Another arm stopped her, and took the baby away.
Damian.
Damian, the one who took his role as a big brother a little too seriously.
He held Martha protectively against him, and literally sneered at all your friends.
************
Damian deemed most of them unworthy to hold his baby sister, and only Clark ended up being allowed to carry her. And that was partly because Clark was the only one who knew about Martha, the only one who saw her already, and he had months to convince your son to trust him with her.
Being an extremely close friend and all, you just couldn’t hide this from him and... no, really, you literally couldn’t hide this from him as he was the immediately noticed that second heartbeat when he listened in to make sure you and your family were safe. Bruce hated when he did that, but Clark wasn’t about to let them be in danger without moving an inch.
Anyway, Clark was allowed to hold her, but he gave her back to you rather quickly because your son’s stare made him uncomfortable. If eyes could kill, right ?
Damian took his job as an older brother very seriously. He would protect her at all cost. And you had no doubt that he would be the kind of person to burn the entire world down if it meant saving his family.
Damian only glared at everyone, letting them approach ONLY after they put on a surgical mask so they wouldn’t give her their “viruses or whatever”.
You had to admit he was a bit much, and you asked him nicely to calm down a little. He relented on the face masks, but made them all wash their hands (twice).
You ruffled his hair affectionately, what a sweet little boy. It broke your heart, how so many people judged him too fast. He really was, a nice kid. With a heart of gold. He just didn’t have much luck for the first few years of his life.
But he chose to be like this. Chose to love, instead of hate. Chose to protect, instead of attacking.
Although, right now, as Diana came back towards his sister, he definitely seems ready to high kick her (which definitely wouldn’t have hurt the amazon).
************
It was a hassle, to convince Damian to let go of his sister so they could hold her. As per usual, it’s Dick who managed to convince him, saying Martha was all soft and cute, and everyone deserved to hold her at least once. Adding that if one of them dropped her, he would be allowed to do whatever he wanted to them.
Some of the mightiest heroes of the planet were gathered hear, but the threat didn’t fall on deaf ears. Damian could be a little intense, and scary sometimes.
They weren’t fooled by Dick’s agreeable smile either. A smile that didn’t always reach his eyes. They knew if they messed up, he would find every way to rip them to shreds. Dick was often seen as the calmest of your children, but his anger issues from when he was a child were never far. And he could be ruthless.
Diana held her first, and your daughter babbled to her excitedly.
Of course, being only 4 months old, she just talked gibberish. And it was so sweet, how Diana answered her : “What ? *babbles from your daughter* Noooooo. *more babbles from your daughter* I can’t believe he said that. And then what ? *babbles babbles babbles*”.
After that, Dick took her back, and asked if someone else wanted to hold her, under yours and Bruce’s watchful eyes.
Then again, in the room, many were also already parents and knew how to hold a baby. They weren’t too worried, except-
Except Dick, that little sh-, had found a new game in recent weeks. Whenever he gave his little sister to someone else...he pretended to drop her.
And it made him laugh and laugh and laugh, to give mini-heart attacks to EVERYONE whenever he gave them his baby sister to them, as they always all panicked and screamed seeing her dropped (Dick always had her secure, he only pretended to drop her of course).
“Oh no careful !” He’d scream, dropping his arms suddenly (she looooved it) while still gripping her, and they’d scramble to catch her, and he would just laugh.
“You little-” Hal’s colorful words were...imaginative. And Damian was inclined to agree, since his brother pranked him oh, I don’t know, only about A HUNDRED TIMES since their little sister was born.
You wouldn’t admit it, but it made you laugh a little too. Even if he got you a few times as well, pretending he was going to drop her. Then again, you trusted your eldest son. Once you and Bruce wouldn’t be around anymore, you knew he would hold this family together.
************
Martha was a calm baby. She let people hold her, curious enough to not fuss and watch them all intently. It made Barry uncomfortable, how she held his gaze and would just stare at him.
She would stare, and stare, and stare, and her bright blue eyes were EXACTLY like Bruce’s, it felt like being stared down by a miniature version of Batman.
He didn’t like it. So he gave her back to whomever was closest, which happened to be Jason
Jason, who was always very delicate with his little sister. He handled her as if he’d break her. It broke your heart, to know he probably literally thought that.
He refused to hold her at first, sure he would hurt her. But she kept reaching for him, crying when he wouldn’t take her, and she was so adorable and-
He caved, of course. After a little while. And he was oh, the fixture of a patient older brother. You knew he would ALWAYS be part of her life, and step in whenever she needed to.
Right now, she was grabbing his hair, which were getting quite long, and pulling hard on them as babies do and- He didn’t say anything. He just let her do it.
You really hoped she wasn’t going to take advantage of this when she’d get older, even if you already had visions of her having her brothers and father wrapped around her little finger, having her sister too, and...apparently, the entirety of the JLA.
************
“How can such an a-hole make such a cute baby ?” Hal said, looking at the little girl he held. She was sort of dozing off, which for sure was adorable.
Bruce only glared at him, which amused Hal greatly. He just gave him the shock of his life, he could laugh at his expense a little, right ?
“I believe, to make a baby, you need to-”
“Um, no, Jon, please, I know how to ! It’s just-Oh, forget it.”
Flustered, Hal Jordan was flustered. Jon J’onzz didn’t seem to get why, but then again, human sarcasms and irony were still very foreign to him. He always answered pragmatically to people.
Talking about pragmatism. Hal handed back your daughter to Tim, who slipped her in his favorite new contraption : the baby carrier 3.0 (of his own design). Made so he could do all sort of work while having her strapped to him. Keeping an eye on her at all time.
Tim adopted the use of a baby carrier, so he could still work while taking care of her (he stole the idea from his dad, who definitely hung around with his daughter EVERYWHERE with that thing...which was the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen, this tall broad man and this tiny baby attached to his chest).
It was so cute to see her little feet dangling while he was working. Damian nearly lost it when he found Tim WELDING two pieces of metal together with the baby carrier on his front. Tim merely said : “I made her baby sized goggles and a fireproof pyjama, she’s fine, and she likes it” and indeed, your daughter didn’t have a scratch, and cried when Damian hauled her away from the sparks. Ooooh the smug look on Tim’s face as his brother gave her back reluctantly. Damian’s was utterly vexed.
Vexation he forgot just a few minutes later, when Martha decided she had enough of sparkles and made little sounds of protest (not quite cries), and reached her little arms to him.
As of now, Tim had her in this baby carrier again, and was strolling around the JLA headquarters, showing his new little sister to everyone.
************
Cassandra didn’t say a word, as per usual. She never liked big crowds, only spoke to those she trusted the most. Her brothers, her parents.
She only gestured to others. Remained quiet. But she monitored every little movements.
Hawkgirl approached her sister ? Noted. Carefully studying every move. Martian Manhunter asked if he could hold her ? Noted.
Superman made little babbling sound at her, while her dad held her ? Noted, with amusement. It was funny, to see one of Earth’s mightiest hero grimacing to a baby to make it laugh, while said baby was held by another mighty hero who was utterly stoned face. Cass’ smiled at her dad, who smiled back for a fraction of seconds before Clark shifted his head up to look at him too, and Bruce went back to his : “ -_-” face, by reflex really.
Cassandra never spoke much, but she loved a lot. And her way of loving her little sister ? It was to always keep a watchful eye on her, so she could react to whatever she needed. And give her space when she needed to.
She had many brothers, she often joked that if she lost one, she could just replace him (a joke you didn’t like much, because you knew it was just a self-defense from her, to shield her heartbreak at the mere idea of loosing a sibling), but only had one sister...
Yes. Your youngest child definitely held a special place in everyone’s heart.
And you could see her slowly creep in every members’ of the Justice League’s heart too.
Gods, you couldn’t even imagine what would happen to the person who would one day try to hurt her. You could bet, though, he wouldn’t get out of it unscathed (to say the least).
************
Martha was particularly fond of Duke’s inuit kiss. He had the capacity to instantly calm her, and he could easily feel her inner emotions.
As she was passed around everyone, and she started to be tired and cranky, he simply retrieved her and brought her to Bruce, because he knew that was her preferred spot to fall asleep.
He kissed her on the forehead, and sure enough, she was asleep before he could pull away. Your husband put a warm hand on Duke’s head, a warm smile on his face. That boy could always tell what others felt. It was a gift, really, and sometimes a curse as others’ feelings could leak into him. Which is to say that sometimes, when others were sad, he would be too...
But for now, he felt content. At peace. Because his dad was, too.
And indeed, Bruce, holding his sleeping daughter against his heart, his hand supporting her head gently, was utterly at peace.
He loved the idea that his arms were his daughter’s favorite place to sleep, and never refused to hold her to help her sleep. You sure were a little jealous, but he told you : “They all always come to you when they need comfort, one kid out of six, you surely can give me, right ?” and though you knew he was joking, it broke your heart a little.
So, you let go of your jealousy, and let him have this indeed. Martha was definitely a daddy’s girl. And that was good. You could see the impact on your husband, how having a baby in the house soothed him.
He loved his kids so damn much. He often said they were his lights. And the fact Martha found comfort with him ?
It reminded him of his own parents. How he would go to his mom, a Martha too, to find the same comfort. To fall asleep in the same way.
You let go of that small jealousy, as you saw her falling soundly asleep, cuddled up against her dad. And it was funny, how Bruce would take his usual Batman persona, stone faced, standing straight and-
Having one of two fingers held tightly by both of his daughter’s little hands. She grabbed them as he took her, one hand holding her (she was so tiny...and he was a big dude), the other, she used as a sort of comfort plushy. She held them with all her might, as she slept.
And Bruce was speaking battle plans, and you had to fight the laughter in you as all your friends couldn’t help but stare at the scene, not knowing how to feel.
Hal snickered at one point, and he made a gesture for him to zip it, and it was quite an odd scene, as he held his daughter and did that childish gesture.
Seriously. That guy !!
************
Batman smiling was...different.
They all got caught staring at him, when he had his daughter in his arms. Staring because his broad smile was-
Well. Broad.
It wasn’t his signature smirk. It wasn’t a soft smile. It wasn’t a half-smile. It wasn’t a smile that you could only see in his eyes.
It was a full on big ass smile (as Barry would say).
And sure, they already saw him smile like that (although he schooled his face back to “stone mode” when he noticed them looking), never that much.
As if the birth of his daughter gave Batman another new light, and it was just impossible to yield to his old demon, to brood, when holding that ray of sunshine.
It made them all feel...soft. And warm.
It was nice, to know the bat wasn’t just a machine. They forgot it sometimes, that he was, in the end, “just” a man. They forgot why he became Batman. The pain and guilt he held inside. But moments like this, they were reminded of it.
That the Batman didn’t exist because of hatred, but because of love.
Because he loved his parents, his city, and now-
His family.
It was nice, to get reminded that there was a man below the mask. And though he could be an “a-hole” sometimes, there, holding his baby, he was just that.
A loving man, who wanted to protect others.
************
You made a note of every moments you would cherish forever of you introducing your daughters to them all :
1. The shock on their faces as they beheld the sight of THE BATMAN holding a baby against him, and being so delicate.
2. Your daughter being the star of the show, all of them smitten with her !
3. Your friends wanting to hold her, and how they beamed at her (and she beamed back, except with Barry, whom she only stared at for some reasons).
4. Dick’s “game” of pretending he dropped her, and their panicked reaction.
5. The success of Tim’s baby carrier, and how now, there was always one up in the tower.
6. Diana and how it definitely seemed like she would move mountain for that child.
7. How Clark’s eyes filled with tears again, as he looked at Martha. Because it made his friends so happy. You and Bruce. And especially Bruce. And Clark was an emotional man, who suffered too, and was just so happy “The Batman” was happy.
8. How Jason seemed at peace with his little sister, and how whenever he held her, he seemed less weary than usual around everyone. Like Cass, he didn’t like much being amongst too many people. But now, it felt like he had an “emotional support baby”. Ah.
9. Their reactions, past the shock, welcoming that new life in the world.
10. How Bruce monitored his daughter being held by his friends, holding your hand. Even after all those years, when he acted close to you in his Batman costume, it made you...feel things. He always kept a facade as Batman. A facade that would crumble with his kids, and especially with you. PDA weren’t rare. And even after years at his side, it always made your heart beat wildly when he showed affection towards you in public, because it meant-
Oh it meant so much.
And you had so many more moments forever ingrained in your heart from that day spend up at the JLA’s headquarters.
Too many to count. Some sweet, some hilarious-
All positive feelings.
And as you and your family stepped back in the zeta tubes, your friends saying “byyyyye” to Martha especially, with their baby voice (making Bruce roll his eyes), and as she waved at them-
Waved for the FIRST TIME ever oh.
Oh it felt like you would die of happiness.
And still, Bruce’s hands held yours tightly.
He knew.
He knew, you were the source of this happiness he thought he could never find again.
He knew.
He never loved like that before.
Yes. It felt like you could just die of happiness.
__________________________________________________
And here we are. I hope you enjoyed this. Don’t hesitate to comment and/or reblog, it’s always greatly appreciated :).
Also, initially, the child was going to be Thomas (their son in my “main” storyline, if you already read a few works from me), but last minute, I was like : “wait no, I want to give Bruce a daughter, and the boys a sister. Also, poor Cass eh ?” and here we are. I really hope you liked this; I’m nervous for some reasons. Anyway. See you soon with another one ?
#Batman x reader#Batmom#Bruce Wayne x reader#Batfam x reader#Batmom x batkids#Richard Grayson x reader#Jason Todd x reader#Damian Wayne x reader#Tim Drake x reader#Cass Cain x reader#Nightwing x reader#Batman imagine#Red Hood x reader#Robin x reader#Jason Todd imagine#Duke Thomas x reader#Batfam imagine#Batmom x Batfam#Bruce Wayne imagine#Richard Grayson imagine#Damian Wayne imagine#Tim Drake imagine#Batfam x batmom#fem!reader#Justice Leage x reader
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never say sorry -sub!art donaldson x fem!reader smut
notes- this was literally supposed to be super short but i got carried away cause i am a whore (and proud of it)
cw- art is a little insecure:( , mentions of him having sex with tashi before (NO TASHI SLANDER I LOVE MY GIRL BUT IT'S FOR THE PLOT😭) , he cums prematurely (like...really..) art's a whiny little slut, art keeps calling reader love ( i got a thing for that pet name sorry y'all) , reader calls art 'artie' once cus it's cute&idc.
thinking about art constantly apologizing while having sex :( like ur unzipping his pants and he's already bucking his hips up into your hand, and then immediately muttering "sorry":(( my babyyy
so at first you think that okay, whatever, it's just something that slips out
but then he does it SO many times that you're actually starting to be concerned
like, you're giving him head and he moans a little too loudly- he's apologizing again. while kissing, you pull back for air and he still follows you, mouth half-open, wanting more - but then he realizes and he apologizes again.
but one time he really caught you off guard-
it had been a long day for him, spending almost all day training for his upcoming match. he barely had any time to rest, so he comes back to his dorm, taking off his shirt and pants, getting into bed with you only with his baby-blue boxer briefs on.
he kisses you. he's so fucking tired, but he still kisses you. 'cause he needs you, especially after the day he just had. you could feel his hard cock, practically begging you to take his boxers off.
"please love, wanna see you" he says while tugging at your top, watery eyes glistening with tears waiting to be spilled.
you take it off and unclasp your bra, little whimpers leaving his lips at the sight of you over him, with your tits out. you would love to take your time with him, really. to hear him beg and plead for you. but he's so eager, and so polite about it too- you just can't do that to him right now. so when you take off his boxers, his cock immediately jumps up, slapping his lower abdomen, right over his strawberry-blond happy trail.
"aww baby, look at you. you're so pretty aren't you?" you smile down at him, admiring how his legs shake slightly at every word you say. "hmm? aren't you?" you repeat. "mmghn- yeah, i- uhh i am" he says, eyes almost rolling back from the lack of touch. "you're what? say it." he sighs. you do this a lot. 'self love is important' you usually tell him- but not now. not when his dick is out, aching and leaking and begging to be touched. but just for the sake of it- just because he wants to please you, he says it. "i'm pretty"
"good boy," you coo, finally bringing a finger down to his cock, only to circle his pink, wet tip. and with that, he loses it. his mind goes blank, and he can't help it- all the waiting, the anticipating made him lose control of his body. he really didn't want to cum, he wanted to be good for you, but you were just so hot, he couldn't hold back. so immediately after his white, thick and warm liquid lands partially on his stomach and a bit on your hand, he starts babbling out apologies.
"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry love, please don't be mad, please- i'll clean up after myself- oh my god i'm so sorry-" he was so obviously tired, he could barely make up the words, yet he still continued apologizing. until you cut him off.
"art, baby- you dont need to apologize to me! what's up with this" you ask, softly. "you know i love making you feel good. and it's even better when i get feedback like this" you giggle. his cheeks turn bright pink as he covers his face.
"but i literally came the second you touched me" he mumbles, shyly.
you kiss his shoulder, smiling. "and it was hot."
"i- I don't know how to explain it to you, love- i just don't want to disappoint you. tashi used to hate it when i did any of this, she hated hearing me, and stuff like that- sometimes it made me feel like i was an object to her or something, y-you know? she'd get mad at me, and uh- it wasn't great."
"oh." you could actually feel your heart breaking for the boy. he was so sweet, he never deserved any of that. "well i'm not tashi, and i definitely won't get mad at you for anything like that. i like hearing you, and believe it or not, this was really fucking hot. you're letting me know i'm making you feel good. what's wrong with that?"
"just don't wanna upset you." art shrugs.
"i promise you artie, you could never upset me." you peck his lips and he smiles. "now let's clean you up"
#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson smut#art donaldson fic#challengers fanfic#mike faist x reader#challengers smut#challengers x reader#patrick zweig x reader#artpatrick#mike faist smut#mike faist#challengers movie#challengers 2024#patrick zweig#tashi duncan#josh oconnor#josh o'connor#sub art donaldson#smut#x reader#dom reader
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john green quit tumblr because of the cock monologue
No, he didn’t.
This all happened a long time ago, and my memory is imperfect, but here’s my memory: The cock monologue certainly hurt my feelings! But when people are trying to force someone out of a virtual space, they sometimes resort to behavior that is similar to bullying except it’s not completely identical to bullying because the person they’re making fun of has a lot of power. (As someone who got bullied a lot in school, the feeling was similar in 2014 but it wasn’t identical--because I was aware of the fact that I was okay, that what was in danger was certain aspects of my identity/self-value that I treasured but not my entire personhood itself.)
Anyway, it hurt my feelings, and still hurts my feelings when I see it shared (it feels to me like a joke about my sexuality, although I understand other people don’t see it that way; but yeah, you don’t know much about my sexuality and I don’t really want you to but it feels like a joke about that to me, which just bums me out).
But all of that stuff is a side effect of my job and having been successful at it, and I like my job. It is a great job. All jobs have aspects that suck. My job has fewer such aspects than other jobs I’ve had.
So yeah, I did not quit tumblr because of the cock monologue. (I also did not ask tumblr to make reblogs un-editable.) .
I quit tumblr because a few people started to make extremely specific threats. One might, for instance, send me an ask that featured a google streetview screenshot of my home alongside a plan for breaking into it.
I was super scared of these people (or possible person pretending to be a few people?) because they seemed to have a lot of knowledge about me and my family. We lived in a normal middle-class neighborhood in Indianapolis and I felt very exposed and nervous all the time in my real life, and eventually the freaked-out feeling just got too big and that’s why I quit tumblr.
(Edited to add: I am aware that prominent people sometimes use death threats against them to portray themselves as victims and protect themselves against justified criticism for their bigotry or abusive behavior or whatever. I don’t want to do that; it’s important to note that I have a lot of resources and power and so was able to, for instance, move to decrease the threat, which a lot of people can’t do. But I also feel like not talking about the experience honestly has not really helped me or anyone.)
I SHOULD’VE quit tumblr much earlier--I needed to realize that people weren’t comfortable with me in their virtual spaces and that to them I came across as cringey or even creepy, but at the time, I wasn’t nearly self-aware enough to leave for any of those reasons, and plus there was a lot of pressure from movie studios etc to stay on the social Internet so I could continue to promote my books and the stuff around them. So I didn’t quit when I should’ve, and as a result had and caused quite a few negative experiences for people. I’m sorry about the role I had in causing those negative experiences. I should’ve had a better understanding of not just how I experienced myself but also how other people might experience me. That’s something i’ve worked on over the years but still come up short on sometimes.
At any rate, I might delete this later because it makes me feel a bit like all my nerves are exposed to the air but I did just want to clarify that the, like, Tumblr Legend of this whole thing is at minimum a bit over simplified.
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── stress relief. ( sjy ) 🎧
๑ Jake hasn’t gotten as much attention from you lately, so I guess he has to bother you in order to receive it..
pair: clingy bf!jake ㅊ busy gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, fluff, very silly and unserious banter, teasing, begging, fingering, oral (f. rec), spit kink (?), marking, unprotected s.x, creampie | words: 4.0k
welp- this was a lot longer than i intended it to be lol, srry not sorry. also why am i always making jake such a needy bf ? LOL, idek.. i just love a man that’s down bad for me what else can i rlly say shdhshsd
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
exam season never stroke you as easy, that’s why you took more time than you had into studying. you spent most of your days sitting infront of your laptop and it’s handy dandy partner— your notebook. on the side of that you were juggling your boyfriend’s needs, alongside your mother’s constant smothering over the phone about how she wants to see you this week. you constantly tell her that you don’t have the time and if you had the time you’d rather go over there than anything. you loved your mother dearly, but you wanted big things for your future, especially when you imagine a family one day with your lover.
“mom, we’ve been over this a million times, i love you and all but i’ve told you. i don’t have the time to go and see you right now..” you hated having to put your studies first before anything, but that was the only way in order to become successful. you couldn’t afford to slack off and just take time for yourself to do whatever you wanted, you had to remain focused.
your mom didn’t seem too happy with that answer, she really wanted to see you and you could hear it in her voice. it broke your heart the way she sounded. “i understand that, but i really miss you staying over sweetheart.. maybe we can plan something this week ?” she truly hoped that you’d say yes but you couldn’t just drop everything and go home for the weekend, unfortunately things were far more complicated than that.
you were beyond stressed out, and along with her constant nagging it only pushed you over the edge, you were well over aggravated. it’s like she only thinks for herself sometimes..
“doesn’t sound like you understand, i don’t have time and i can’t come see you ! you’re being really selfish right now.” you’ve tried reasoning with her but it just never worked, usually you’d give in and comply with her demands but you had to put yourself first this time. “i’m sorry but not today or tomorrow, not even this week, i love you mom.”
“i love you too.. i guess i’ll talk to you later then ?..”
“mhm, bye mom.”
and with that, you quickly hung up. you felt bad with how you raised your voice at her, but sometimes she doesn’t think. you could tell she had gotten upset just by the tone of her voice and that by itself made you feel like shit.
weight on your shoulder: multiplied.
not long after, jake had came home, he’d seen you working your ass off and understood how this upcoming exam was important to you. although, he also got to shake hands with this disasteress stress. for one, he constantly has to force you off your work to go to bed. he hated seeing you risk your own health for the sake of success. jake knew you’d pass with flying colors, he believed in you, he always had. you were few of the top students in your class. of course you had it. while he also studied for exams, he’d rather not risk his mental health for a test he could easily just take again. and he always told you that, but you’re too stubborn to ever listen.
“babe, i’m home !” he shifted to the living area, where you just so happened to be at the time. “new station?” he giggled, joking about how you finally moved from the dining area.
“yeah, i guess..” you yawned while busily typing away at your HP. jake checked the time once hearing you yawn.
“baby, get up. bed time, now.” he clasped his hands together a second before walking towards you and your silly little laptop. you don’t say anything back, only continuing what you were doing, as if he wasn’t even important enough to acknowledge.
“uh.. are my words delayed ? did i stutter? save whatever you’re doing, right now and get your little ass into bed.” he cocked a brow at you, waiting for you to comply, hands taped to his waist.
“jakeee, just a little more.. ‘m almost done ! i promise. it’s just a little bit left !” you plea at him, hands speeding up it’s pace, dancing along the keys moving to the save button after typing another sentence. your face looked drowsy. you looked tired. and you knew it.
“great then just a little bit for you to do tomorrow ! room, now.” his one arm and his other grasp you, taking you under your arms and up on your feet. “bu-”
“go.” he cut you off, nodding his head in the direction of your shared bedroom. you finally caved, maybe you did need rest. and that’s just what you did, but not before talking to the sweetness that lay beside you.
๑ ๑ ๑
“so, how was your day..” you ask the half sleeping boy who’s face was deeply snuggled in between your breasts. he couldn’t sleep unless he was holding you, the warmth of your body against his gave him the much needed comfort he desired.
“mm.. good, i just wish you were more involved in it..” you felt the vibration of his voice through your skin making you giggle, yet, you were upset with how it’s now just dawned on you that you chose studying over the man who’d give you the whole world if he could.
it seems you’ve been acting awfully selfish lately, barely returning any of his calls or responding to his texts hours later. he feels like he’s constantly giving one hundred percent in this relationship while you barely gave half of that. jake knows you love him, you wouldn’t be coming home every night if you didn’t, but he misses that stage where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t know how caught up in exams i were, i haven’t been giving you much attention, have i ? ..”
“you holding me is all i need.. i cherish the time i get when you aren’t studying..” he mumbles, hands tracing shapes along the slope of your waist.
“thank you for giving me time and understanding.. i love you baby..” you kissed his head tenderly. receiving a hum in reply you knew he was tired, so you yourself dripped into slumber.
๑ ๑ ๑
your alarm rang forcing you out of bed and before doing so you switched your alarms off. you looked over at your resting partner. he was so peaceful when he slept he looked just like a baby, and you wanted nothing more than to baby him ;(
*okay.. i wanna hurry and finish this.* you pulled the blanket off your arm before dangling your feet off the cushion of the bed.
“what’re you doing ? where are you going ?” he instantly wakes up when he feels the weight of bed lighten, hands capturing the hem of your sweatshirt to forcefully halt your movement.
“i’m just going to finish up my studying,” you remind him from yesterday, cupping his face as you turn around to face him.
“goodmorning, jakey.” you cheesed.
a strong pair of strong arms wraps around your figure, “gummorning, princess.” he half yawns, looking up at you with those precious, endearing eyes of his.
“c’mon, let’s go play in toothpaste.” you tap his arms signaling him to let go.
“are you saying my breath smells bad ?” he chuckled, finally setting you free.
“i mean, if the shoe fits !” you playfully joked, getting up immediately after he unarms you.
“c’mon babyyy.” you try one more attempt to get him out of bed, hearing him act all whiney since he didn’t want to. he’d much rather still be under the sheets and laid up with you, but you were on a mission today.
finally, you two ended up in the bathroom. mornings were always chaotic, so much going on as you took turns brushing your teeth. while he brushed his, you were brushing your hair and doing your skincare routine. you were getting ready to take a shower so you gathered all of your needed things, only waiting to brush your teeth. when you finally got a hold of the sink you got your tooth brush and sat on the counter, kicking your legs. you were sometimes childish, but so what ? nobody wants to age anyway.
“stop being weird, little girl..” you were laughing almost choking with the minty taste of toothpaste in your mouth, you quickly spat it out. “and you pee loud ! it’s like gun fire !”
he chuckles at your comparison, “i know a few things i do loud.” he mumbled before walking over to your figure that sat tall on the sink as you rinsed your toothbrush, caging you in.
once your toothbrush was away your arms immediately swung around his neck, you’d missed holding him all day everyday, which is why you contemplated on cutting your studying short for today.
“you’re so cute..” jake couldn’t help but be all over you, he’s waited far too long just to have you like this again; peppering kisses all over your face and jawline, trailing them all the way down to your collarbone. your body tingles in excitement, wanting nothing but to have your boyfriend’s hands roam your whole body. but you’d soon snap back to reality— the sad, underwhelming reality of what you’re actually supposed to be doing.
“jake.. we can’t.. i have to finish, remember ?” you felt like a broken record at this point but it seems as though it goes in one ear and straight out the other. he hasn’t touched you in so long, he doesn’t even know how he’s survived without it. he has his needs too, and his hand wasn’t going to cut it anymore. he desperately needed you more than anything right now.
“i’ll be quick ! i swear, pleaseeee.” he tries his hardest to plead with you, eyes practically begging you for an ounce of sympathy. “just want you so bad…”
usually you wouldn’t give in so easily, but the way he looked at you made you wanna fold in a heartbeat. was studying really more important than getting some dick ? yeah probably. but how could you say no to that face ? it’s been weeks since you got some and the urges were only getting stronger. you had no willpower left, so you finally surrendered to him.
he now has you in the palm of his hands, exactly how he wanted. he’d constantly be thinking of you, and all those times where he’s had to pleasure himself in order to get some form of satisfaction has now paid off; he could simply act out all of his horny thoughts on you now. and since he’s already got you where he wants, he wasn’t letting you go anywhere like you usually do. jake plays with the hem of your sweatshirt before lifting it up over your head, practically dying to kiss every inch of your body. he doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have someone as pretty and smart as you, but he’d never take it for granted— holding you within his grasp, carrying you back to your shared bedroom and gently placing you down onto the bed.
“my pretty baby.. ” jake couldn’t keep his eyes or hands off you for a second, drinking in the sight of you underneath him, it made him wanna tear you to shreds.
though he couldn’t do that just yet, he wanted to take his time with you. show you how much he truly appreciates and loves you. he definitely lied earlier when he said he’d be quick, there’s no way he’d be able to rush this. not when he’s had all this built up sexual tension that’s been eating at him since the last time you two fucked. the neediness of his actions were more than telling of his intentions, you knew he wanted you just as badly as you wanted him— if not more. plus, how could you refuse that puppy dog look he’s given you ?? he made you go crazy just from his facial expressions alone.
his hands slowly traveled up to caress your breasts, the pads of his fingers swiping over it’s hardened bud, rubbing in slow, lazy circles. he loves the way your body reacts to his touch, how you’d arch your back just from the feel of him. your low moans and whimpers were enough to make him go even more feral than he already is, feeling his cock twitch just from the way you’d sound. he craved you more than anything right now. you bit your lip when his mouth wraps around the base of your nipple, his hand working it’s way down to cup your clothed core, getting a feel of how much of a dripping mess you were for him.
“mmh.. so wet for me already babygirl,” he giggles when noticing the dampness of your panties. you seriously couldn’t believe you’ve fucked yourself over his touch just for exams. you often found yourself subconsciously humping your pillow to the thought of him, wishing that his face was buried between your legs instead of it. your body grew so sensitive over time, it was like you forgot how good he made you feel..
“need you so bad baby.. let me relieve all the stress and tension out of you..” his voice was low, full of lust and desire for only you. he kept teasing you with his fingers, enjoying every minute of you writhing and squirming under his body. he’s missed this dearly, and he was going to take full advantage of this. your mind drew itself blank, unable to think of anything but your beautiful boyfriend on top of you. you judd your hips up against his hand, building a steady rhythm to match his, the friction driving you absolutely insane.
“oh..fuck-” you let out a gasp when his thumb “accidentally” brushes over your clit, his hands shift to tug the fabric of your panties down as fast as he possibly could— but that didn’t stop him from continuing his little torturous teasing spree.
his head rested perfectly between your plush thighs, staring down at your pretty, glistening folds, tracing his finger everywhere expect where you needed him most. “mm.. jake, quit teasin’..” you whined out of frustration, which only made him giggle even more, until he finally complies with your demand.
“you’re right, my hardworking girl deserves a reward. doesn’t she ?” he looks up at you with a devious smirk plastered on his lips, all while sinking two digits into your small entrance— making you cry out from the sudden fill he’s added.
“spread your legs wider for me baby.” you didn’t even hesitate upon hearing that command, legs shooting open immediately. keeping your thighs open with your hands so jake could get a better look at your sopping cunt.
“feels good, huh ? you missed having my fingers inside you ?” he continuously thrusts in and out, gradually increasing his speed as you’re on the verge of falling apart. he absolutely loved seeing you like this, it’s what he lives for. he felt so accomplished knowing that only he can make you feel this way; no one else could ever have the same effect on you that he does.
jake knew you were far too weak to speak, your moans echoing the walls of the room was pure music to his ears. with just a curl of his fingers, your walls cinch around them greedily, watching as they’d disappear into your tight hole. your whole body trembles, as you cupped your breasts to knead them gently.
“fuck, you’re so hot. such a pretty little pussy, all for me.” he pants softly, taking in the sight of your eyes squeezing shut, how you were so overwhelmed already. he could bust just from this alone.
his head dips down in between your thighs, latching his mouth to your clit. he’d switch from harshly sucking to lapping his tongue on the swollen bud, eliciting the prettiest sounds out of you. “taste so fucking good baby. could eat you out all damn day..” he praised again, drowning himself in your sweetness.
you don’t know how much more you can possibly take but you firmly pull on his hair for leverage, tightly tugging it not even registering that it could possibly hurt him. but he doesn’t complain, his free hand caresses your thigh gently, flicking his tongue rapidly on your clit and drinking up your wetness, you taste like a dream. you mewl slightly above a whisper, forgetting how to use your own voice. his mouth was making you feel more than amazing, better than anything you’ve felt before.
“ ‘m gonna come !..” your hand now held onto his hand for support, lacing your fingers to intertwine with his. you grind your hips harder, feeling like you’re about to explode.. your juices squirt onto his fingers and his chin, making a mess all over the sheets beneath you, in utter utopia from the intensity of your orgasm.
“shit..baby” he moaned, licking his lips to savor every taste of you. he lifts his head up, beaming with a rush of excitement to finally have you take his cock. “get up,” it sounded a lot more demanding than he thought, but he couldn’t wait any longer. he was so horny that he wouldn’t even be surprised if he nuts the minute he enters you, (but thankfully he won’t because that would simply defeat the whole purpose of everything).
you did as you were told and quickly got up to land yourself on top of him. it’s obvious what he wanted you to do, he wants you to ride him while he looks up at your pretty face. it’s one of his favorite positions, not only does he get to lay back and let you do all the work but he secretly loves that you’re the one in control.
“mm.. that’s my girl,” he groans once you hover over his length, gently stroking the base of his shaft. his hands slid up to find purchase on your hips.
his embrace felt all the more than loving— it was familiar, warm, and protective. skin on skin, body to body; beautifully unraveling as one. your mouth flung open when you slid yourself inside but no audible noise came out— it was but a silent scream. he was sporting a semi-hard on but once fully submerged and accustomed to you tightening around him, your walls could feel his length slowly swell up inside you, it was one of those indescribable feelings that you cherish forever.
“better start moving baby, this dicks not gonna ride itself.” he playfully demands, slightly bucking his hips up to feel some motion, “or do you want me to do all the work instead, hm ?” that offer was extremely tempting, but it’s not like he wasn’t going to do that later on.
“n-no, wanna ride you jakey… i’ll start moving” you stutter, shakily rutting your hips against him, he fills you up so perfectly as if his cock was designed solely for you. placing both palms on his broad shoulders for anchorage whilst raising your hips to now finally properly ride his fully erect.
“fuck… s-so big— so full..” you don’t think you’ll ever get used to how he stuffs you completely. his low grunts were the most melodic tone to your ears, along with his heavy panting and nails digging into the dips of your hips— he had your head spinning.
jake was enthralled with the fact only he could have you like this, a pretty little whining mess just for him. his cock throbbing in you intensely made you clench around the thickness, mouth falling back open to reveal a long strand of your saliva, this only brought him more joy as he pulled you in for another kiss, moaning nonstop into his mouth. you picked up a steady rhythm while riding him, moving up and down as you thread your fingers in his soft hair, feverishly making out with him. it all felt too good, he felt unreal, it became almost too much for you.
you gnawed at his lower lip when you pulled slightly away, leaving another string of your spit connected together; he drove you madly insane. his attention went soaring elsewhere now, producing wet kisses along your side profile, to your neck, gently sucking and biting on the skin to admit a reaction. a deliberate shriek leaves your mouth, feeling your muscles tighten as you tremble, he left more faint love bites to your collarbone and visible bite marks to your shoulder. he notices your struggle to stay balanced and shifts his arm, firmly on your waist to keep you in place.
“love the way you take this dick like a pro babe, you’re fucking amazing.” he praised you over and over, his words of encouragement helping you build quicker stamina, bouncing on his cock as if you were deprived of it for months (technically speaking you were, but maybe not for that long).
“you know i love you right princess ?” he husks, assuring that this’ll always mean something more than just sex to him, you were far from disposable, his love runs deeper than you could ever imagine.
“y-yes jake, i do. i love you t-too— mmh fuck !” your head plunges backward when he thrusts his cock back into you to match your movements, bringing one of his veiny hands to come rub your ass, sinking you further into him.
you kept a steady pace as you lower your middle finger to play with your clit as you rode him, the extra stimulation to your nub had your head dropping lower in reverse. you were so excruciatingly wet all you could hear were his hard breaths mixed with your soaking arousal slamming into his cock, only thing running through your mind was getting to milk him empty once you both reach your climax. a moan slips the both of your lips in unison as you scrunched your eyes shut from euphoric sense of pleasure.
“no no, look at me baby— keep ‘em open.” he ordered. your eyes flicker open once again, obediently following his rules, giving him the eye contact he so desperately craves.
“love looking at this pretty face every single fucking day,” he groans, still holding your hips securely in his grasp, “all of this is mine, mine, mine.” each time he’d say it another deep stroke would slam into your cervix. a final hit to your sweet spot had you trembling under him, crying out his name while screaming at the top of your lungs— you can tell he was getting close too by his chest heaving and sultry grunts and moans laced with an endless loop of your name being said.
your face contorts from your nearing orgasm imploding you, the o-shape formation of your lips taking over, “g-gonna come jake… can feel it !” a drawn out sigh leaving your breath as you catch it.
“yeah ? gonna make a mess all over this cock ?” he felt you clench around him at his every word, your hand reaches down to your bud caressing it slowly ready to reach your high again.
“go ahead baby, let go for me.” he grants your undying wish with those words, chasing your high as you finally let go, cream leaking down the sides of his cock.
“fuck, so good.. such a good girl for me.” he felt himself closer to the edge, “where do you want my cum this time babe ?” he asks impatiently.
“inside, inside me please !” you practically beg for it, eyes growing heavy, and your breathing becomes irregular. you soon felt your walls being coated with his thick, hot cum, filling you up with every last drop. you instantly collapsed onto his chest, completely drained and worn out by the end. the room remained silent for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s company, lost in his warm embrace.
“hmm.. what about now ?” jake broke the quite atmosphere with his random question, leaning closer to peck the side of your face, “how does my breath smell now ??” he teased from earlier’s incident.
“oh my god, shut up,” you turned away from him with hot cheeks. “what does it smell like huh ?” he laughed at your embarrassed state.
“go away !” you pushed him off of you to go do your little pee pee check. “smells like your yummy little pussy, donnit baby !” he watched you hop into the bathroom.
“my pee too loud ! can’t hear you !!” you shut the bathroom door with a tiny giggle.
you could still hear jake hysterically laughing in the background.
2 am smut hits differentt >:33 had to post a cute lil fluffy fic for my jakey pooh cs he’s so cutieful hehehe <3
also, hii lee ik ur reading this loll ilyyy .+(´^ω^`)+ .
@leeechin ♡︎
#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#jake smut#sim jaeyun smut#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagines#enha smut#enhypen drabbles#sim jaeyun x reader
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