#but yeah anyway i'm honestly very grateful to anyone supporting my work in any way

[johaerys-writes]

HI! I MADE A PATREON!!

I will still be posting my art and writing for free here and on AO3, but I'll also be posting a few extra goodies over on Patreon, like some bonus WIPs, sketches, thoughts on writing/writing tips, behind-the-scenes commentaries on a chapter or one-shot each month, as well as voting polls on what I should write/draw next! (I'll probably be able to offer more tiers/rewards in the future, based on feedback and what I can comfortably create each month)

If you like what I do, it would mean a lot if you could support me by subscribing! If you can't commit to a monthly pledge but still want to help out, feel free to buy me a ko-fi. Whether you can support me monetarily or not, I still appreciate you so much and thank you for being here 🥹🫶

(T.S. I also posted a sneaky little WIP of the next chapter of Fates so feel free to check it out there! 😁)

[greenlightbulbonawire]

Misfits (yeah like the Arcane song) LIII.

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Summary: From the dark musty cell of Stillwater all the way to the very base of Firelights, but where to from there? Guess you'll just have to let fate lead you.

Author's note: Soooooo, breaks over! And I've decided how I wanna put s2 into this and finally have a proper story line too, took me only what, 5 months to figure that out? ToT Anyway I'm gonna get an English certificate C1 level soon so I wont have any excuse for my bad spelling and typos no more (english isn't my first language but honestly I speak it better than my mother language so...) Well I hope the wait wasn't so bad and that all of you enjoyed s2 as much as I did (even if I'm traumatized for life now) and that you'll enjoy this chapter. Also I wanna thank you for all the incredible support I've recieved because honestly, when I started this fic, I never though it would gain this much traction and I'm really grateful!! (also what the hell was the spotify wrapped bs this year)

next chapter: Fifty fourth chapter

previous chapter: Fifty second chapter

Masterlist (doesn't work properly)

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He walked up to you and the makeshift gramophone and put the disc into the circular platform. This use of the machine definitely made more sense than what you previously thought it was. Ekko took the spiky spoon thing and placed it onto the black disk and spun it and after a moment of some weird noise, a song started to play from it. You did hear some music in your lifetime, but right now you felt like it had been ages since you last listened to something. For a moment you just stared at the device and let your brain process it all. The thing that finally brought you back to reality was the leader’s hand placed on your shoulder as he looked down on you with a smile on his face. “So, I was thinking, and since you spend a lot of your life in prison, you probably never got to experience a lot of stuff, buuut I was wondering if maybe, you wanted to learn how to dance?”

He took a few steps away from you and offered you a hand, his other one hidden behind his back and he bowed down a little. You stared at him in awe for a good few minutes and he just let you process it all, patiently waiting for your answer. Finally, you shook your head and took his hand with a grin painted onto your lips. “Don’t expect me to be good at it.” You warned him as he pulled you closer to him and put his free hand on your waist. Obviously, you didn’t expect this and your eyes widened as he did so, your mouth left slightly agape. “I taught you how to fight, I think I got this.” Ekko rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows at you, even if you hadn't meant it that way, this was now a challenge in his eyes, and he wasn’t going to fail.

“You know, you have to put your hand on my shoulder right?” “How could I? I never danced with anyone.” The boy let go of your waist and grabbed your arm, helping you put it into the right position and when your hand rested on his shoulder, he returned his arm back to where it previously was placed. “Excuses is all I hear.” He poked at you back and shrugged, then he looked down at both of your feet, thinking about how to best explain to you how to dance. “So there’s like a lot of traditional dances, but I think you’ll be fine if we start with Waltz, not even you can mess that up.” You nodded in agreement and followed his gaze, looking down too as he lifted one of his feet up and tapped it against the front of yours. “Keep your expectations realistic Ekko, please.” Ekko chuckled a little at your comment and tapped your foot again, now realising it might indicate that you have to do something, you picked up your foot too.

“Look at that, you can read my mind too. Okay, okay, so, at first you’ll have to watch your feet, like a lot, but once you get the grip, you can look up. But for now, just follow what I’m doing okay?” “I can definitely try to do that, yeah.” He nodded and slowly started to drag the foot he had previously tapped yours with against the floor in your direction, and so you did the same, but instead of going in his direction, you went backwards. Ekko made sure to tell you when you did something right and when you did something wrong, and also to have a firm grip on you, since he knew that balance wasn’t your strongest forté and the possibility of you losing it was almost as high as when you were learning to hoverboard. Of course you stepped on his foot more times than you could count, but Ekko didn’t seem like he minded at all, in fact, it almost looked like he was enjoying himself.

When Ekko felt like you had gotten a pretty good grip on how to do the basic steps, he decided to mess with you a little and incorporate a simple spin into it. Which definitely threw you off your balance, just like he suspected it would, and if he wasn’t holding you, you would’ve fallen onto your ass. Not that you’d mind since you were pretty much used to it by this point. But Instead of falling back, you were pulled closer to him, your chest pressed against his. “Careful.” He warned you in a low tone, almost whispering it into your ear and in that moment, you didn’t even register what his words were, your mind busy with concentrating on something completely different at the moment. Ekko seemed to know that, it was like this was his full intention. Or maybe he was just saving you from your clumsiness.

The boy patiently waited for you to snap out of it yourself for a few moments longer, but when he felt like he gave you quite enough time to think, he stepped away and gave you a look that you could only describe as a winning smile. “Right, okay. Again?” You stared at the ground for a little longer and then you finally looked at his face, creating eye contact with him. “You haven’t had enough yet?” Ekko chuckled a little at your words and raised an eyebrow at you. Part of him was surprised that you wanted to continue as he had never painted you as someone who likes things like this, but the other part of him knew you were stubborn, determined and persistent, well in some cases at least. “You know me, I don��t give up easily.”

[fangdokja]

To my readers, especially if you're the weird one who actually reads God's Protagonist,

I'm crying inside, to be honest. I don't know what to say. Honestly.

I never in my life would think people would actually read GP, to be honest. Considering the universe here is really built to be dystopian with every taboo, fudged up shiz, no one is safe here, so I didn't think anyone would actually read AND ENJOY IT.

So, first of all, I'm genuinely shocked you all are reading this WIP book (God's Protagonist / GP). I thought you'd be more interested in other male characters or fandom stuff. But, thank you. I'm surprised but grateful.

This story is most close to my heart, all the pain, all the shiz, all the emotions, everything is in this book. Put into a high fantasy world, but it's a story that narrates my life really. So, I am sensitive most towards this book more than my other works.

Thank you for taking the time to read it, really. And I'm surprised if you actually enjoy it, or don't get too weirded out by taboos here.

And then when people say they like my "writing style", I'm like "... really?" I honestly don't know how to respond. Like I don't know man. Really? Because honestly, I think a lot of my writing is shiz. Of course, my husband says I'm always overthinking again. And, I am. But yeah. Still putting work out there to practice, since I'm focused on writing my end goal, which is GP.

I always thought my writing style is bad because more than dialogue, I specialize in descriptions, and I thought it was a bad trait tbh. Yeah weird. But, I guess it really ended up helping me in general. Thank you though for reading my stories guys...

Ugh, sorry, I wanna cry. Of course, I put my other books out there to practice and market myself as an author, but I didn't think it would actually work! I cry. Sorry, just being personal (no trauma dumping or anything), but it's just me being honest with you all.

I never even planned to talk with readers, well unless it's for work. Because I'm in reality awkward, severely lacking in the social department (no social and people skills promise, I'm a freaking recluse), and just ME.

I'm putting this here, since I don't know how to explain myself and how grateful I am to all you readers, whether it's for those newcomers or even the ones who saw me as a new author on the platform, or maybe even the ones who actually shock me by reading every work or every book. Like, wow, I have no words.

I'm also very rambly when it comes to myself. Yes, my writing is structured, but my real self is everywhere not gonna lie hahaha. I'm also an emotional wreck (especially when it comes to my husband).

Anyways, I'm crying inside. Listen, I always want to be real and honest. And I never know how to respond in reality to any of you, especially if it's good comments, like I'm unused to any of this. But I am grateful. Truly.

I always get nervous when putting work out there, until now. And especially if it's GP? GP is my MOST personal and close to my heart at work, so if you read it, it's like, me genuinely going "oh shiz". There are a lot of sensitive themes, extremely large age gaps being the least of your worries when fudged up shiz happens (don't think I've released a bunch yet).

Either way, sorry for being an emotional mess if ever, but generally speaking, I just want to thank you all :)). For all the comments, shares, genuine love and community, all the stuff, really. Thank you for the support.

From your IRL awkward dead-dove author,

Fang Dokja.

P.S. If you read all this, thank you. It's a thank you to you all, I don't really know how to express how grateful I am otherwise, tbh. No need to reply or anything, just wanted to thank you all :))

[liberty-barnes]

Hi Libby!

I'm curious to find out what's your take on Sam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson's marriage. Because I really believe she groomed him.

She knew he was a teenager and went after him anyway. She said there was no funny business happening during the set of 'Nowhere Boy', but then she also said that everyone knew that's something's up. She's also his boss at that time, so sus. People keep saying that, 'Oh, he's legal' and 'Oh, he's a grown man'. It is absolutely irking, because had the roles been reversed, it would face double the amount of scrutiny it is facing now. Instead of 'He got lucky', it would be, 'He's a monster, a pedophile' or 'He should be in jail'. This belief never benefited anyone; it only strips survivors, male survivors of abuse specifically of validation, and proper rights to justice.

Anyway, there are so many shady details that come with these two, I can't type them all.

Thanks for reading my very angry thoughts at 11 pm GMT+8 xx

hi lovely!

ooh, smart and controversial discourse, love that, you're welcome to rant in my inbox whenever you want, doll.

so, i didn't follow his career very closely before or after the mcu, but i did see that and it made me a bit icky so i did some research at the time. in my opinion, if you don't agree with something, you have to really look into it and ask yourself "does this make me uncomfortable cause i don't like it" or "does this make me uncomfortable cause something fishy's going on" and it did strike me as kind of strange.

the double standards in the industry when it comes to dating are undeniable, just like in the rest of society. younger men are expected to chase after older, richer women, cause it makes the patriarchy feel like they "tamed another beast". even though it's not right, married women are seen as less powerful than celibate ones, because it's still common for the husband to have control.

i think that's why most people skimmed over that. it didn't bother men cause "good for him, he got himself a rich, hot beast" and for those who didn't like it, the "he's legal" argument was there.

so let me tell you straight up what i think about that "they're legal" argument. people that use "they're legal" as an excuse scare me, cause for them, as long as the law says it's okay, then it's okay. they don't question it, they don't research it, they just follow like nicely trained monkeys. there's nothing more dangerous to the free world than people who blindly follow orders, that's what makes dictatorships thrive. in order for this to be a democracy, people need to question, to research, to demand explanations when things seem to be done in a bad way.

cause that's a bit of what this was. he was legal, but barely so. he wasn't even old enough to drink in the us (which, sucks to be you btw, europe's much better in that sense) and he was supposedly old enough to understand he loved a woman who a)is 23 years older, b) was his boss and c)was his boss in his breakthrough movie. i mean, didn't even know that aaron taylor-johnson was his married name, cause i never knew him when he was just aaron johnson.

that's all kinds of weird.

so if we ignore the age part, cause hey, we're not here to judge the age difference, that's not my point. she was his boss which always makes me cringe cause that's bit unprofessional, but Nowhere Boy was aaron's breakthrough movie, it's the one that really got him out there. could he have gotten another breakthrough? yes, i believe he's a very talented actor and he would've still made it to where he is today, perhaps by another way. but he didn't.

he had to be thankful to her and admire her for giving him a shot, especially being that young, so was it love at first? i'm not so sure.

it might have been admiration, gratefulness, and i doubt he was the one holding/sharing the reins in the relationship at first.

is it possible that he fell in love with her afterwards? absolutely, the foundations over which they built their love and relationship are just shaky cause what happens if one day he realises that "hey, it sounds a bit like i was lured into a relationship and stayed there cause i didn't know better"? they met, got engaged a year after, and it might be a bit fast for his age.

so yeah, i forgot where i was going with this, but to sum it up, there was definitely a weird start to their relationship, and i don't know how it's gonna evolve.

but at the end of the day, they've been together for over ten years and both seem happy in their relationship, so i don't wanna judge them if it works.

it's a weird situation cause half of me is screaming "grooming, weird start, what even is legal age?" and the other is screaming "they're happy, let them love".

so yeah, what i think about their relationship is that i honestly don't know. i think i'd rather focus on his career, watch interviews, and keep an eye out for signs of discomfort when their relationship. i hope they have people in their life with enough critical thinking to intervene if necessary, but until that's necessary, i guess we'll just support him in any way we're comfortable.

hope that helped cause i'm not even sure i understand half of what i wrote lmaooo

feel free to send me more of these, i love it when you guys make me think

-Love, Miah

[handonhaven]

I feel like this whole maliLandon thing is going to lead to a lot of conflict between Hope and the super squad. And that it will lead to them dividing between sides. I think that is one of things that this season has been leading up to between Hope and her friends. Becaue, Hope has constantly been sacrificing her happiness for the greater good, she spent this whole season listening to her friends when it came to Landon instead of trusting her gut instincts, she could have saved him and had the real him back alot sooner if she had just done what she wanted instead of what was deemed "right" and "logical". Not to mention the way the super squad treats Hope and Landon these past three seasons. I mean they're always so willing to sacrifice Landon like it's nothing. And they just use Hope however they see fit, not really caring about how she might feel or what she might need(I know that is an unpopular opinion for so reason). And the fact this has been on going since season 1 drives me a bit crazy. They're just terrible "friends" and when it comes to Landon(especially this season) it really drives home what Clarke said to him back in season 1. "No matter what anyone at that school tells you, you'll never be one of them." And body other than Hope and I guess Wade has treat him like he was one of them. Like he did belong at that school. And they've always treated Hope like a weapon since the monster started to show up. I would go on and give certain times but I feel like it would make this way longer than it needs to be. But anyways back to my point I think this maliLandon thing will lead to some conflict between Hope and the super squad. Because I feel like have of them(maybe more than half) will that Landon is gone or dead. While Hope will say that he's still alive in there. And she would want to do anything to get not only Landon back but Cleo as well. And if I'm right and that does lead to a conflict between Hope and the super squad or cause them to divide and take sides. Then I hope it lasts longer than an episode or two. Because I feel like something like that really needs to happen. Hope(and Landon when they get him back) tells them how she's been feeling all this time with how they treat her and make her feel. And they say their peace. Both sides will be mad at the other for while and then by the end of they make up with them realizing they have to be better friends to Hope and Landon. But like I said if something like that does happen I want it to last way longer than an episode or two. Because I just feel like that is something they've been leading up to and it would make for a good storyline. Thoughts?

Oh crap, I hadn’t thought of this, but I totally agree with all you said. This could end up being a repeat of what happened in 3x08. And it’s even worse this time! Because last time, Malivore getting out was just a risk, and that made none of them want to help Hope save Landon. But now Malivore is literally right in front of them, so what are they gonna do now if they believe that Landon is gone and think the only way to get rid of Malivore will end up hurting Landon or killing him? Great... I could hardly stand seeing none of them care about Landon after they thought he died, and again when they didn’t care if he died in the prison world, I don’t think I can take seeing it again but there’s probably a good chance we will.

You’re absolutely right. Hope has sacrificed her happiness for everyone else so much in the past, and that did lead to a lot of what’s happened this season. I agree, like in 3x05 when she felt like she had to stop looking for Landon and accept that he was dead for everyone else’s sake, if she had kept looking she may have gotten him back sooner. If everyone had been more willing to help her, they might’ve been able to find a way to get Landon back before, without him getting possessed by Malivore. But I think once Hope knew there was a chance to get Landon back in 3x07, she totally changed and wasn’t gonna give up. She was fighting for Landon and her happiness with him no matter what. So I was really glad that she changed in that way and was like that throughout the season, I think that’s been very important for her character. But I do wonder if what’s happened with her and her friends in the past and how that’s affected her and Landon is gonna be an issue now with what’s going on. And yes! Exactly, they’ve all been willing to sacrifice Landon, not caring about him or how their actions would affect Hope. Using Hope when they need her, at the expense of her own well-being... yeah, true, it’s an unpopular opinion. I think because some of those characters, like the twins, are fan favorites, so people don’t wanna acknowledge this stuff I guess? Idk, but yes, it’s been going on for a while and got really bad this season. And I feel the same way, honestly, particularly with Landon and how little they care about him just hurts. And especially when you consider Landon’s background and how he’s not been cared for his entire life. But now he has Hope, who cares about him more than anyone else does, she’s really the only one left who cares about him. But then the people around her have encouraged her to not care about him so much like?? That’s terrible and heartbreaking, and Landon deserves someone who cares about him and is willing to fight for him no matter what the way Hope does (especially now that Raf is gone, the only other person who cared). But ugh, that Clarke quote. That is so sad now looking back at that and how things have been. So true, Hope has really been the only one to treat him like he was one of them. The others have briefly, maybe in season 1 and the beginning of season 2. Josie treated him pretty well at the beginning of season 2 when they became friends. But that friendship is basically nonexistent now, because she’s not shown she cares about him with all that’s happened this season. And even Wade hasn’t seemed to care much. Like, he’s been his friend but it’s kinda felt like he just wants someone to play D&D with. He didn’t act at all sad when he thought he died, but quickly found that one new girl to play D&D with in 3x06 (can’t remember her name, she disappeared after that). So... yeah, idk. It’s all quite weird, and very sad how everyone has treated him and Hope and how they’ve used them, especially Hope, for their own benefit without really caring. Like, I understand they need Hope a lot because she’s the one who’s able to help them, but they just don’t act like they care if it affects her, and don’t seem that grateful either.

True, this whole thing with Malilandon could lead to conflict with them. Although, they did have 3x14 and 3x15 with Hope and the twins as an attempt to bring them closer. And I thought that’s what was supposed to happen with them, but that could’ve just been another case of them telling and not showing. They’ll often have these conversations with characters that end up meaning nothing. Which also reminds me of another thing that I find so sad now, which was in 2x08 when Lizzie told Landon to come back to the school and face Hope and Josie, “they will help you face whatever comes next. We all will.” Okay... when? When did any of them, besides Hope, help Landon face anything after that? Lizzie said that but then did nothing to follow through. She did nothing to help him with all that he’s faced this season, so I can’t imagine it happening now. And it could be the same thing with Josie and Lizzie telling Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone. All it took last episode was Hope driving away for them to give up and not go after her to help her. So unless they seriously change and decide to help her save Landon this time, this could be bad.

You make very good points. Especially if it’s hard to get Landon back, and if it starts to seem too risky and less likely that they’ll get him back, I can also see that causing them to divide. Because we know Hope isn’t gonna give up. All that she did to fight for Landon in 3x08 and everything else she’s done she said she would do all over again if she had to. So I’m sure we’re gonna see that happen again to some extent, and if that does cause problems and some kind of divide, yes, I also think it should last longer so that it’s actually addressed in the right way. It’d be great if they let Hope and/or Landon say something about how they’ve been treated, but I doubt they will tbh. For whatever reason, the writers ignore the way the other characters have treated them, it’s never talked about. So I don’t really have any hope that it’s gonna be acknowledged, though I’d love if it was. And I think having conflict would be a good way to bring it up if the writers let Hope say something about it. And I agree, it would have to last longer but could make for a good storyline if it was a way to finally talk about everything and fix how they’ve been treating Hope and Landon. I’m so ready for Hope and Landon to have good friendships. I think there is a chance that the writers could hopefully have the others side with Hope this time since they were trying to bring Hope and the twins closer. Who knows, maybe they’ll suddenly have everyone deciding to support and help Hope and Landon this time... which would be surprising tbh, based off of how they’ve been before. But I’m very curious now to see how that’s all gonna work out.

[arthemis-forge]

Chapter 3 Body and Soul (Crimson)

Warnings: None (future nsfw)

A/N: Hello guys! Sorry for the delay, what happens is that I was a little busy with some personal things but I'm back.

I will try to update twice a week and each time as we progress through the story, make the chapters longer. Another thing is I didn't notice that the previous chapter i published the draft instead of the final version. Which had many otorgraphic and writing errors. But it's already corrected. If you find something let me know so I can fix it. Also I am very happy for all the support, thank you for your lovely comments. Another thing, Do you want me to create a tag list?. Please tell me in the comments. That's all I wanted to say. Enjoy your reading! 🖤

Chapter 3(Crimson)

Lost in my thoughts, I walked towards the exit of the building while i was looking at the sky with some concern. It wouldn't be long before the sun rise.

And honestly, I was very scared. I did'nt know anyone in this city and didn't know what time it was in the area. My life was in danger and although I was sure that I still had time based on what the sky looked like.

I was still very worried about not knowing what time it was exactly. Looking at my watch was in vain. It was scheduled for London time not New York.

I was very nervous but I had to calm down. So i calculated that there were 2 hours left until the sun rise. And although it sounds like it's a lot of time, I don't know how much traffic there is in this city. And I needed to be in the nearest hotel as soon as posible.

Again I was so lost in my thoughts that I did not notice that a taxi parked in front of me, it was not until I heard the drivers voice that I noticed it.

—Good night miss, are you waiting for someone else? Or do you need me to take you somewhere? —

Hearing that question made me feel more relaxed again.

—Sure, I actually have nowhere to go. Could you recommend a hotel near here. One with good facilities. The price point doesn’t matter but I really need to get a good place to relax, preferably the closest hotel to the airport.—

I told him as I opened the door and carried my suitcase.

—Of course ma'am, in fact we are close to many good hotels. They are a few streets away. Would you like me to take you to see the exteriors and based on how they look you choose one?. I assure you that they are all very good, some more than others but none are bad. —

The man smiled while he waited for my answer.

I sighed feeling realised.

—Yes please, I would like it very much. —

The man laughed as he drived the car.

—You are not from here are you? I can tell by your accent. —

I nodded as i looked out the window. Analyzing the area I was in.

—That's right, I'm from London. I was transferred from my job. —

—That's so interesting. Sounds like fun to have a job where you travel a lot. —

—Well yeah you're not wrong. But I also needed to start a new life. —

I confessed while we entered to a large avenue with many buildings with hotels and apartments. Some were prettier than others.But nothing look bad about them.

—Is one of you liking? Or do you want me to go further so you can see more options?. —

The truth is that I could already choose one of the many hotels that were on the street. And I couldn't be so demanding, since i needed a safe place away from natural light as soon as possible. But a hunch told me to accept the man's proposal.

—Sure, I think we can see a few more options.—

No matter how much the car moved forward, nothing interested me. It wasn't until we reached the corner of the avenue that a large black building with Victorian architecture caught my attention. On the outside it had an ad with red calligraphy that said "Crimson".

—Stop here, I like this one. —

I pointed to the old building.

—I’m sorry to tell you this, but that hotel is very strict. They do not allow the entry to anyone who doesn't have a membership. It has already happened several times that I leave people here and they end up removing them from the place.—

—Don't worry I will try to enter. If i can´t then I’ll choose one of the hotels that are on this street. How much do I owe you? —

—If you insists, it’s $30 dollars.—

I nodded as I handed over his money.

—Thank you very much, also keep the change. —

I took my suitcase and closed the car's door as I approached the entrance of the building. However I was stopped at the door by a very tall man with brown hair and grey eyes.

— Good night, Miss. Could you give me your membership please. —

Embarrassed, I bit my lower lip and then proceeded to do something I didn't wanted.

—You're going to let me in no matter the rules of the place or what your bosses say. —

I smiled already knowing the results of my action. The man nodded and then open the door for me.

Once inside I noticed that a tall girl with black hair and violet eyes smiled at me as she applauded me.

—That was so wesome, Alice. Just as I expected, James didn't cause you any trouble. —

The girl approached very excited.

—Who are you and why do you know my name?—

I asked very confused and feeling insecure. Since she was aware of what I had just done and the worst thing was that she knew my name. This was getting very strange and I was not liking it.

—I am Grace Crimson. Owner of the hotel and great friend of your Boss Nat. —

—Do you know Nat? —

I said in a very incredulous voice.

—Of course Alice. But hey that is the least important thing right now, let me show you your room and I give you Nats phone number so you can call her.—

While I was trying to process the information, one of the attendants took my suitcase.

—Did Nat tell you in any way that I will come here? —

She just laughed at my question.

— I knew you'd say that. Don't be silly, honey. You are acting like a newborn vampire in the clan. Look dear, I'll explain. I can see the future. Today I had a vision of you in which I saw you giving orders to my guard right outside my hotel. It should be noted that I was concerned, because I didn't knew who you were, so I called all the offices until I found some information about you. To at least make sure that you weren't dangerous to us and to be able to take the necessary measures. By the way, I don't want you to feel bad about what I told you. But these are difficult times and we must take care of each other. —

Of course she was right, what a fool I was. I have been so involved in my personal feelings and problems that I overlook the fact that many in our community have that ability.

—Don't worry, it's okay Grace. I understand. I know how the security protocol works. And I also understand perfectly that you investigated me and that you needed to know who I was. —

I confessed.

—I already knew you were going to say that tho. Hey you are more friendly and understanding than I expected from someone who can control people's minds with their voice. No ofence but your kind is usually a very pretentious. —

I couldn't help laughing at that comment.

—I was like that many years ago, but someone changed me. I try not to abuse my powers too much, only when it’s necessary. —

I lowered my gaze to caress a silver ring with a red diamond that I had on my ring finger.

When she saw how my mood changed, she immediately hug me.

—Don't torment yourself over the past. —

She took me by the hand to walk me through those long corridors of the building. I must admit that I felt a little emotional. The place reminded me a lot of my grandmother's house.

—Here is your room, as you can see it is very spacious, it has a king size bed, living room, bathroom with a bathtub and a beautiful balcony. Also here is Nat's phone number. And don't forget to close all the curtains including the ones on the bed. —

She handed me the keys, a red card and a pos it with Nat’s new number.

—James leave the suitcase on her bed. —

The man obeyed her order and put the suitcase on my bed.

—Sure Grace. Thank you very much for all the hospitality. It has been a long time since I felt welcomed in a place. —

She smiled

—I know we are going to be very good friends. —

After that she closed the door behind me.

It's amazing how someone's life could change in an instant.

One day you are in London crying for your ex and the next day you are in New York and you're dreaming with a man who doesn’t even exist.

Thinking about that, I began to close all the curtains in the room and then i took the phone from the bureau next to the bed.

With some fear I called her, I knew that she would be very upset with me. But i had to do it.

—Hey nat it's me, Alice. —

—You are an idiot, I was so worried! Never do that to me ever again! I thought you wanted to kill yourself or something like that...

You sounded so sad. God you have take some therapy you can't continue living like this...—

I sigh very annoyed.

— Anyway, I already spoke with Bruce and he already gave you permission to work in New York. And before I forget to tell you this. Tomorrow you have a job to do. I need you in a bar, we think we found someone who can serve us for the clan. You will have to go to a concert near a local bar in the town. Grace will leave you the papers with the man's information.—

—Perfect. By the way, thank you very much for the favor. You don't know how grateful I am with you. Anyways, I will leave you, I am very tired and I would like to sleep as much as possible to be in the best possible conditions tomorrow—

—Of course dear. Have a good night. —

Grateful to Nat, I hung up the call and then closed my eyes. But not without first remembering Peter's beautiful green eyes.

[haikyuu-matches]

🦚 3/3.) Um so I believe in soulmate. I'd like to have someone who can understand me and love me as a whole. Someone that will treasured me, spoiled me, basically just showered me with their love. Honest- loyal- funny- kind, those are the thing that I'm looking for in a partner. I'm a touch-starved person so I always want their full attention, I won't ask for it first tho- I'm just gonna wait and sulk 😅 Wheew thats it, hope you don't mind with long desc, thank youuu ❤ p.s : I can't anon this:(

🦚2/3). Move on to my personality, I'm an enfp, taurus and gryffindor. I love to talk, and yes I am loud (I can be sarcastic sometimes) 😅 Despite being a happy go around type of girl, I actually have a lot of insecurity. I hate myself and got depressed easily, but I'm good at hiding it behind my clownery haha. I love singing, playing games, sleeping and tarot reading. I'm shy to people that I found attractive and I'm a hopeless romantic. So to sum it up I am pretty childish wheeee 🤸🏻‍♀️

#🦚 1/3 ). Hey hey! can I ask for a romantic match up ? 🥺 I'm an 159cm omnisex asian girl. I'm chubby so I look smol. long black wavy hair and I always let it down. People say I look rude and cold so they are afraid to befriend me first (some even hates me for no reason), istg its only my resting bih face (but yes I can fight, verbally and physically.) I don't care about style or brand, I only wear comfortable clothes that looks good on me. I love perfume, so yes I smelled good.

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hey, you lovely bean !  just wanna say that i’m so grateful for your patience & i truly hope you like your match !!  (´｡• ▽ •｡`)

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i match you up with . . . 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔 !!

firstly, i just want to say that i really think you’d fit kuroo’s type -- with your long wavy hair & your smol stature. right off the bat, he’d think you’re adorable.

the fact you smell good all the time?? like, not to be creepy but he legit can tell when you’re around because he notices the exact perfume you’re sporting (he’s observant like that) & honestly the scent becomes comforting to him-- 

i headcanon that once you guys become that cute couple, he will for sure initiate that back hug, which consists of him pulling you, from behind, so very close to him & the next thing you know, he’s resting his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling you & slightly breathing in your scent at the same time??

you smell irresistible okay, how could he not-

on a different note, kuroo is the type to look beyond any preconceptions surrounding anyone, including you; he has high interpersonal intelligence (surprise surprise jk), so he’ll disregard any badmouthing & see for himself who you truly are. like, people hating others before they even know them? yeah, that’s lame. 

to sum it up, kuroo doesn’t regret meeting you. he’s still a little taken aback by the fact that people are hating you & saying you look rude ‘n cold?? just . . . how is that possible? last he checked, you seemed shy. . . at least to him, but overall, a total happy-go-lucky sort of girl!

in all reality, maybe you do have a resting bih face, but the thing is he’s kind of immune to that? kuroo doesn’t really take it as you look irritated; he’s used to kenma’s apathetic-looking face & he knows that sometimes people can’t help but look the way they do? he concludes that even if you did have a rbf, it’s unintentional & doesn’t represent you as a whole by any means.

he’s not one to judge appearances anyway-- he gets a lot of shade thrown his way for his “rooster head” & the belief he’s a “sly and scheming captain.” he can relate to the fact of being kinder or just overall different than what the exterior image seems to show. with that said, however, he will be mildly surprised by the fact you can fight?? in his book, that’s pretty neat & he’ll probably try to flirt by saying he can fight, too. fight for you that is- 

back to the topic of appearances, even if you do see yourself as “chubby”, kuroo would shower you with love regardless. 

kuroo doesn’t discriminate & he’d treat you like a queen that you are. you’re looking for someone who will treasure you? spoil you? understand you? just love you for all that you are worth?? look no further, kuroo is your guy !!

kuroo really checks off all your boxes for what you’re looking for in a partner because he’ll definitely make you feel whole. also taurus x scorpio is cute. as mentioned before, he’s observant & while he’s not, by any means, perfect, he’ll strive to put you first & put a smile on your face. 

he’s still kuroo, so i mean, at times it’ll be a trial and error kind of thing (perhaps his provoking nature being the perpetrator in fights), but he’s more intuitive than he may appear?? so, he’ll reconcile & apologize when it’s needed; he’s not that kind of prideful to refuse to talk things out.

kuroo will also take note of your insecurity & how you use your clownery as a mechanism to hide this aspect of yourself. you best believe he will be that supportive boyfriend. especially when it’s just the two of you, he won’t hesitate in speaking his truths whether it be saying how you’re amazing and you’re beautiful and he’s so lucky to have you or just gushing about your overall being, from your endearing personality to your cool hobbies (like the fact you sing?? so darn impressive--)

he’s actually more sweet than people give him credit for--

in any case, he simps hard when you’re smiling or just laughing or just have that joyful look on your face-- he wants you to always be in happy spirits. . . at the very least when you’re around him, but for now, he’ll lightheartedly tease you & basically relish in you fighting back with your own words & sarcastic comments.

it’s his funny way of showing that he cares about you.

you two never shut up by the way. like, the art of conversation? you guys take it to the next level. you probably engage in the most randomest of conversations, and yet you two just don’t tire of speaking to one another?? like the flow of conversation just works with you two & you’ll find yourselves talking for hours but it feels like not a minute has past! 

this is probably due to kuroo being like a lowkey nerd with big-brain tendencies & you being so gifted at talking (because you love doing so).

side note, kuroo will even be open to talking about tarot cards with you despite his initial suspicion- it just goes to show he’s not that well-versed in the subject, but he’d be eager to learn since you’re into that.

since you won’t outwardly ask for affection or attention, he’ll end up picking up on those small cues over time. if you seem at all restless or have that sulking expression, he’d have that smirk of his grace his features because you look so flipping cute. but not to fear, he’ll then be quick to draw you in for a cuddle sesh if you’re hanging at home or if you’re out in public, he doesn’t mind initiating that kind of pda where he just embraces you, wrapping his arms around you tightly because it’s a way for him to showcase how much he truly loves you.

do it back to him & he melts-- he’ll basically combust if you surprise him like that because he doesn’t realize how much he loves you showing your affection toward him, with his heart beating irregularly and such. 

i feel like kuroo can be kind of doting?? even if you’re pretty childish, he honestly wouldn’t mind because you just give him a sense of purpose. like, he can naturally fulfill the role of protecting you & giving you the love you deserve. it’s not to say he’ll baby you per say, but he harbors a sense of protectiveness when it comes to you, which he may not even realize at first.

basically, under the veneer of his teasing personality lies his caring & warm nature. the kind that you are looking for!

he’s totally soft for you & he’ll admit that he would probably do anything for you if you’d say the word. 

you probably won’t (at least at first), but that’s okay because he’ll figure it out.

honestly your relationship with kuroo would just consist of you two hanging out, enjoying each other’s company, and just doing those cute couple things. you two probably learn new things about each other every day... but anyway, you two could honestly just be out and about & people will be out here jealous of that because you two look like soulmates adjksdljgl. it’d be so cute !

possible runner-ups:

daichi sawamura

osamu miya

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— lily ! ♡

[heyfromhell]

I'm proud of you for having dealt with such a difficult time. You're so strong, and I admire your tenacity regarding your recent thoughts. The world needs strong lovers. Yeah, things may not have worked out but I disagree with those that have told you that you will never love as deeply ever again. You can, and I'm sure you will.

- You're gorgeous, you're outgoing, and you should never be left behind, even if things didn't work out. To me, they can be forgiven for that, among other past issues, yes. But you deserve to be treated fairly and you deserve the have answers you seek. You aren't a ghost, and you're not invisible. You're you, a person. And as a person, you deserve to be loved and to find love. I'm sure you can't see anyone else right now, or you don't want to put in the effort again, only to be let down.

- I totally get it. I lost my love late 2016. I felt like I was ruined. I stopped eating. I lost 20 lbs in roughly a month. I lost my damn mind every day and every night. I tried to occupy myself with something all the time to keep my mind straight. My heart was always so tight and I had trouble breathing a lot. I had a fucking lump in my throat from stress alone. And I could go on and on about it.

- I want you to know that how you feel is okay. It's not easy. I know you just want to give up sometimes. I still do from time to time. I personally don't suffer from a clinical depression but I have terrible control over my anxiety at times. It's hard to explain. The point I want to get at --at 3:40 am -- just know that it's all going to be okay, and to keep living your life to the fullest. It's easy to dwell on the past, but just keep looking forward.

- Be proud of what you've accomplished! You've done so much! Things aren't always going to work out, and I know you know that. And mental health makes that reality so much more difficult. I get it. Always remember that you are strong, smart, beautiful, and capable of so much. Remember to take care of yourself. Remember that you aren't alone. Remember that it's okay to be in the dark. Remember that there will always be a light for you somewhere.

-----

I read these messages as I was getting ready to leave for a job interview, and I honestly had to save the rest for later because I started to get way too emotional. I am honestly so touched that you took the time to write all of this out. You fucking GET this pain, and I appreciate you reaching out and telling me of your own experience. This pain is something not tangible, but it has such a dominant presence. I could be watching a movie, or looking out of my window as the rain is coming down, and all my mind thinks of is, “Wow, I wish he were here/I wish I could tell him about this/I wish he could see what I’m seeing.” It’s like I still want to share all of the good moments with him. I long for that closeness. I didn’t really believe I could fall in love until I met him.. I always thought it was some far away fantasy that other people could experience, but not me. Because maybe I didn’t deserve it, or maybe there’d always be someone better than me. 

But when he came along, everything changed. But I have to stop myself in my tracks when I talk about him, because I reflect on the positive times, and ONLY those. Sometimes I have to take a step back and have a reality check because the good times honestly didn’t outweigh the bad ones towards the end. There was so much blame, so much controlling, so many accusations. The lack of trust was unbelievable. I loved him, trusted him with everything, but for me, I was apparently always scheming to do something behind his back. He had serious trust problems. I tried to work with him on them for some time, but once they began being targeted directly at me, I just took the blows as they came. Because I loved him, and I thought that was normal.

I didn’t realize what I was experiencing was manipulation/some extent of emotional abuse. I actually recently had a conversation with a close friend of mine about this, and she put into perspective what was happening.

What I felt for him was real. I fucking loved him with everything - in any way I knew how. I’m not a touchy/feely person, but god I would show him so much affection because I KNEW that was the way he felt most cared about. I stepped outside of so many of my comfort zones because I wanted him to know that I cared - that I loved him - that I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt him. I just wanted my freedom. But apparently my freedom was either me A) cheating B) talking to guys, or C) going behind his back and lying about what I had done. Which was seriously never the case. I told him everything, but of course, there was still something that I was hiding. There just had to be.

So he’d go through my phone. He’d interrogate me when I stepped out of his sight for five minutes. I remember once at the gym, I went downstairs to the ladies locker room. When I walked back upstairs, he asked me “what guy I had just been with.” He was dead set on making his biggest fear come true. Of course, it never did. But he did manage to push me very far away.

One of the final straws was when I decided I was going to do a nude photoshoot. He knew about my struggles with BDD and self image, and I tried explaining how much this meant to me. But because it was with a male photographer, I was obviously going to fuck him, because of course, it’s not a professional atmosphere. It’s not like we both take our roles seriously or anything like that. So, to prove to him that it was, in fact NOT like that, I told him he could absolutely come with me. I actually encouraged him to. It was a really, really big deal for me. But his final answer came down to this: If I went ahead and did the shoot, our relationship would be over. Not too long after that, he went back to Cali, blah blah blah, we broke up, and I never did the shoot.

BUT. The end of our relationship opened up a fucking wall of freedom for me. Everything I wanted to do but felt I wasn’t allowed/couldn’t do, I did. I applied for SuicideGirls. I dyed my hair. Got the tattoos I wanted. Started hanging out with friends again. Reconnected with my old guy friends who I was forced to stop talking to for so long. Literally my entire life bloomed once I realized how much I was being held back.

I could go on forever about this aspect - the aspect I tend to overlook the most. Because I loved him, I hazed over the red flags. I pretended as though they weren’t there. Of course I wasn’t perfect by any means, and I’m sure he’d have things to say about me as well. But once you realize that your SO is holding you back from living your life - from doing what YOU want to do with YOUR body - i.e. wearing winged eyeliner, wearing the clothes you want to wear, dying your hair, tattoos, piercings, taking photographs, etc. - from hanging out with your long-term friends because there “might” be guys there, and god forbid my eyes ever land upon another male, because that was the end of the fucking world - you start to realize that maybe things weren’t as peachy as you remembered them being. 

Sometimes my mind just completely blocks out all of the bad stuff that happened and puts a spotlight on the tender moments... the first time we said our ‘I love you’s’ to sharing milkshakes in Denny’s. Shit like that is what rips me up and spits me out. But I have to remind myself that he was toxic towards me... that yes, he may have loved me, but it wasn’t healthy. And I do deserve something healthy in the future.

When I went back to California about eight months ago to work things out with him, he made me believe we would be getting back together. We could get our own little apartment, I’d transfer my (then) job to out there, blah blah blah. Two days, two motherfucking days, before the end of my trip, he hung me out to dry. I gave him back the ring I wore on my finger during our entire relationship; his Irish wedding ring. When he dropped me off at the place I was staying, he drove away, and that was that. He texted me later that night to make sure I got in okay, and I quote him, told me to, “lose his number.” Which still feels like I’m being gutted every time I think about that because... how the hell do you say that to someone you cared about, or at least used to care about?

Anyways. Sorry for the massive rant, wah. I just needed to get that out. I needed to remind myself that what I’m missing were the early memories... not the nights where I’d wake up, alone, or the times where I was blamed and screamed at when I needed support and love. I just hope that he can get well, and that’s really fucking hard to say because I have such a resentment against him now, due to the fact that he never responded to me. Not a single word. But hey, maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve accepted that I won’t be hearing from him, and I’m dealing with it. 

Anyyywaaayyssssss, I really appreciate this message because you restored some of my hope in people again. I can’t put into words how grateful I am that you, whoever you are, messaged me. You reminded me that there are good people out there, and to be quite honest, part of me had forgotten that. I’m sending you so much love, so many hugs, and so many good thoughts. I hope your heart can fully heal, because you clearly are an amazing person and only deserve the most sincere, passionate love. 

Thank you again.. I could seriously say that a million times. Thank you. I was really fucking low, and you helped turn things around for me. You’re wonderful, and if you ever need anything at ALL, you know where to find me.