#but yeah again a whole 'nother can of worms because lemme tell ya --this alien cat has PROBLEMS

[pe4nutastic]

More old RP babbling. Under the cut to keep people's dashes clean + to make this easily skippable.

Blotted out a few details, on the off-chance that my very small blog has someone reading these ramblings, I don't want to throw anyone into the spotlight like that --this is just here for the purposes of my ramblings + reflection on how I've portrayed Giegue in the past.

Anyhow... I really like this A LOT for many reasons, the main one being that he's dead-on about Giegue's actual nature at this point in time.

To be fair to Giegue, and to add a little clarification in general, the character is actually missing some context here in that the reason why Giegue treats the two scenarios differently is because the circumstances were different. Mainly because before, Giegue's life wasn't in immediate danger so he tried to play it safe and avoid doing anything major and just play along with Giygas' whims at the time. But by the end of the whole thing? that changed because Giygas then revealed what his true intentions were this whole time and threatened to kill Giegue after Giegue confirms his intent to oppose him; no point in lying because he figures that Giygas would know anyways, being the same person, separated only by different continuities, and all.

ofc Giegue doesn't want to die because he has his own goals to fulfill so he fights back. Initially it's out of necessity so that he can get tf out and back to the proper point in time, but as the fight goes on and his self-hatred bleeds through, it becomes self-serving and personal.

So while there is context that the character is missing when he says all this, it fundamentally doesn't really matter because he's, again, absolutely dead-on about Giegue anyways.

At this point in time, Giegue is incredibly self-serving. He does things based on his personal feelings rather than the general good. On what will benefit his own goals and ideals, even if it hurts others. He has this twisted perception of what Maria would have wanted that's ultimately marred by his Psion nature and the way that his experiences (i.e denying his own wants, needs, wishes, and instead just existing as a 'tool' for the Psions with no wants, needs, or wishes of his own) have altogether caused him to overcorrect by being extremely self-centered and selfish.

A twisted perception and the personal feelings that fuel it, which he places above everything else --so in a sense, in order to do 'good' by Maria or be 'good', he feels that he must do whatever is the most 'rational' and 'efficient' (like a Psion would) because it's the best way to honour that. He rationalizes any negative consequences on others as a 'necessary sacrifice' or 'necessary collateral damage' or just fails to really think about it altogether because he's so blinded by his own goals, that even though he's not trying to be evil or anything, he ends up causing a lot of damage anyways by how selfish and myopic he opts to go about all of this.

Case in point here. He hurts Lucas (different RP + continuity), not because he had some super evil plot under his sleeve, but because he didn't think about his feelings. He didn't see Lucas and couldn't fully appreciate the kindness he was shown at the time... --he only saw his goals and how to best reach them. He could only see how he could leverage trust and kindness to continue fulfilling what he thinks Maria would have wanted/in an effort to be 'good'. The problem is, it isn't just about wanting to be good or having a good goal --it's not just about achieving a 'good' end result. What happens in-between matters too and speaks a lot more to being good than the end result because the end result is just a moment, the in-between stuff is a lot more and so it really isn't just about the end result, everything else be damned.

Which, in turn, makes it all the more fitting that he's contrasted against characters that are both heroic, with conflicts that stem from his decidedly un-heroic traits and his twisted perception of good (focusing on end results, like a proper results-oriented Psion would be, to an extreme) against the more complete understanding that the heroic characters have of what it means to be good.

In this light, a conflict was kind of inevitable and yet ironically, Giegue is the most drawn to heroic and good characters at the same time anyways, as opposed to un-heroic ones. It's usually because they feel 'safer' to be around + interact with (i.e it's easier to count on them to not backstab him), but it also has a lot to with the exact fact that they have the heroism that he lacks yet idealizes as something to strive towards. In the end, he has a lot of respect for true heroes and genuinely admires the good qualities that that entails.