#but ye this fic is gonna be a ride lol... the epithets weren't this bad in the first three chapters I promise lmao

[butwhatifidothis]

That dude's use of epithets (The Flame Emperor, the man, the Emperor of Adrestia, the scholar, the academic, the Flame Emperor AGAIN)... ugh. I can tell this fic isn't even good, it's just long adn tells people what they want to hear

I tried my hand at a slight fix-it. Reminder I'm no writer so it may be ass, but I wanna see how the same passages sound with minimal use of epithets:

“My actions have caused immense turmoil, pitting friend against friend, mother against daughter, and brother against sister,” muttered Edelgard, desperately trying to drive any hint of self-pity from her voice. “My best friend has been disowned by her family, Hubert and Ferdinand’s fathers are dead or imprisoned, and the woman I love is now deemed a heretic by the Church that once offered her shelter. The weight of my decisions seems to pull down all who are caught in the shadow of the Imperial crown.” She gave Professor Hanneman a wan smile. “Whatever imagined slights you believe you have committed against me, they pale in comparison to the carnage my own words and deeds have unleashed.”

“"I made my choice, the only choice I could make, and dragged this continent down to hell with me. It makes me a poor ruler, and an even baser person, but that was the path I knew I must take.”“

“"It is funny you use the word ‘choice’, Miss Edelgard. When I resigned my title to study at Garreg Mach, I lost marriage prospects, became penniless outside of a small stipend…I even renounced the opportunity to have a family.” Hanneman smiled, his whole body suffused with melancholy. “Really, how could I dare to dream of bringing a daughter into a world this senseless and cruel, knowing that someday, she too, could be hurt in such a way? I…I would not survive it.” His body shook. “I sacrificed those things, things I desperately wanted, because the chance to allow my sister to rest in peace was more important. And I would make that choice again, despite all that it has cost me. You are much the same.””

““But your sacrifices were your own,” Edelgard protested. “Thousands bleed for the choices that I have made, and sacrifice themselves for the cause that I have placed before them. There is a profound difference-“”

““We are both wise enough to know a painful truth,” said Hanneman with a melancholy smile. “No matter how grave the sins, no matter how many innocents suffer…there will be countless individuals who will defend the law not because it is just, or righteous, but because it is the law. They will permit a hundred Abysses, and a thousand women to be raped, and a million dead children, as long as such actions do not disturb their order.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “To stand against such moral rot, knowing that the world will despise and vilify you for it, is the truest sign of not only a just ruler, but a good woman.””

“His words blazed with the passion of both a scholar and a man who had watched his world crumble to ash. A man who had been forced to live in the remnants of a life forever altered by the cruelty of both society and of humanity. And yet he had fought, the only way he could, to make the world better. It gave her a new resolve.”

““I…” He turned and looked away. “I believe in you, Miss Edelgard. When I see you, and your determination, your spirit, your bravery in choosing not what is easy, but what is right…it reminds me of her.” Fingers clenched around his locket. “I will fight for you, in the way I should have fought for my sister, long ago. My strength is meagre, and my courage more meagre still. However, all of it is yours.”"

Maybe this is better? Went a bit further and replaced an additional Edelgard with a her to not have two Edelgard's too close to my personal liking. But yeah, the use of the Flame Emperor epithet over and over is starting to get a lil' silly (chapter 4); I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt in pre ts since she still actually uses the alias during this time period, but even in this portion of the fic it's used awkwardly. Her using it at all post ts is strange and off-putting, since she full on discards it at that point