#but where my own taste is concerned i'd rather they all be celibate with maybe the rare fic exception of a jedi marriage (could be cute)

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

I know that you've written extensively about why forcing the Order to allow 'attachment' (which...99.99% of the time is either a misunderstanding of what that means and really just means "marriage is allowed") is not really Jedi positive (and I agree). I was wondering though, do you think there could be a way for fic to have the Order allow for marriage without totally disrespecting how attachment works in Jedi culture? I ask because there are married Buddhists and I have a few ideas how it may

Maybe.

I'm not familiar enough with Buddhism to comment on the real-world parallels here, but just from an in-universe perspective, there could be some wiggle room without disregarding everything that's established about the Force, how the Order works and why it works like it does. I can see two types of exceptions: - Jedi in situations like Kanan's (isolated from the Order, with his team as only support system, in a committed relationship - since there's no Order to be committed to - but aware of the risks; when feeling emotionally compromised, he asks other people to make the call, like Ezra in the mission to rescue Hera) - for a 'normal' Jedi in the 'normal' Order... intra-Order marriages. The way I figure this would work is that they'd be pretty rare and pretty regulated, but at least they've got a safety net in the form of all the other Knights and Masters who can point it out and step up if things aren't working out. They can be assigned to different missions when impartiality is needed and to the same when it's routine stuff and they work well as a pair.

Why just Jedi marrying Jedi? In an ideal case, both would be equally devoted to their duty, would understand that missions come first in daily life (so no arguments like 'you're never around for me, like Padmé and Anakin had) and that innocent lives come first no matter what (so no sacrificing other people for your personal happiness). I mean, Jedi do have very close friends and other Jedi they consider family and that's basically how they treat those bonds. What's different imo about marriage is that you promise to your spouse to always put them first, which is incompatible with the same vow made to your duty as a Jedi - but if they're both Jedi it might be like they'd be both married to the Order (which in essence is what being a monk is) and to each other. Risky, but who knows.

We see that Jedi raised within the Order from a young age tend to do leagues better than Anakin where dealing with loss or duty is concerned, so I imagine it could, hypothetically, work sometimes.

Ironically enough, that's how Karen Traviss' Altisian Jedi went about it iirc (minus the carefully making sure it doesn't go horribly wrong because 'there's nothing wrong with love ever')? She's not what I'd call positively inclined towards the Order lmao. I also vaguely recall that those relationships she wrote about ended rather terribly. Then again, the main philosophy behind her Altisians was 'Jedi bad, being free and not participating in the war and having sex good.' But as long as that's not the underlying idea behind the fic, yeah, it can work 😂 I mean, it's fic. Almost anything can work.

I wouldn't want it to ever become canon - I prefer my Jedi celibate, tbh, I love that aspect of their characters (yesIknow in canon they don't have to be celibate, but from what we see most never choose to pursue a relationship and I love that about them and tbh I prefer no romantic relationships at all rather than flings) but if I had to write a fic that's how I'd do it. I don't know if they'd call it marriage though