#but whenever that's the case it's always the storage department that fucked up something

[dragonpaint]

not me and my department getting scrubbed for things that aren't our responsibility after we've done our work correctly 🥴🤭

[mypoisonedvine]

Satisfied | Andy Barber x reader (chapter 1)

summary: you’re the only lawyer in Boston who can get under Andy Barber��s skin, but you didn’t realise that he was trying to get under your clothes.  as is the nature of law, it’s only a matter of time before the truth is discovered.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut, semi-public sex, terrible courtroom decorum, two lawyers with 0 (zero) brain cells

You were early. You were always early. Being so early gave you time to prepare but more importantly, it gave you time to warm up. You had time to go over your notes and to read about the prosecution expert, Lieutenant Burns, of the fire department, and find out who the opposing counsel was. 

You got an email first thing in the morning saying that there was a change as the original state representation was unwell. It annoyed you, but there was no prosecutor in the state that you did not know, so it couldn’t be a complete surprise. That was the smallest relief you were granted.

Your coffee burnt your hand as the flimsy paper cup did little to insulate your skin from the scalding liquid. It was a bad start to your day. That paired with an unknown prosecutor made your mood more sour than usual. 

You thought that it could not get any worse. You were wrong. It was as if your worst nightmares had all rolled into one when he walked towards your courtroom. Glancing down, you hoped that he had not noticed you.

It was when he stood outside of your courtroom that you realised he was your prosecutor.  Just your luck.  Why did it seem like you ended up with him more than anyone else, when it was allegedly random chance?

The good news was, you were the lawyer who could handle him best.  Didn’t mean you liked to, but still.  At least you could play with your food a little bit before you ate it.  “Andy Barber…” your voice trailed off when he turned to you. “I didn’t expect to see you here.  I thought you actually had to pass the bar to go in and represent someone...or something.”

Andy sighed and rubbed his temple.  “Do we have to start this shit now?” he glanced down at his watch, “it’s half-past eight in the morning.”

“Start what? I’m not starting anything, I just wanted to remind you that you must be qualified to be here.”  You took a swig of coffee and let the words settle in, “I hope you were up all night googling what a deposition is.”

“It’s too fucking early for this. I refuse to deal with it. I refuse to deal with you.” Andy put emphasis on the last word to try to get through to you. “I just got this case this morning and I can’t… I just can’t, right now.”

“Giving up so soon?  I thought you were Andy ‘nobody-can-fucking-faze-me’ Barber,” your tone was mocking but it was ambiguous as to who you were actually mocking. Was it yourself? Was it Andy? You hoped that it was Andy. “And remember, there’s no judge today so you’re going to have to ‘deal with me’ all by yourself.”

“I swear, if you act this way during the deposition...” Andy was livid, his grip on his coffee and pastry was white-knuckle tight. The vein in his neck was bulging over the top of his collar. “Can you just be a fucking adult for once in your life?”

“What have I done for you to be in such a fucking sour mood?  It’s as if you want to wind me up.” You threw your arms in the air as Andy walked off. In your mind, you were unsure as to whether it was actually a victory or not.

---

“Thank you for joining us today, Lieutenant Burns. Please could you please state your name and occupation for the court.”

“Your name is Lieutenant Burns?” you interrupted the deposition causing Andy to look over at you in annoyance. A small giggle erupts from your lips as you try to compose yourself.

“Yes, my name is Cole Burns, and I’m a lieutenant firefighter at the Suffolk County Fire Station No. 7.”

“Wait,” you, once again, interrupted the deposition, trying to hold in your laughter, “your name is really Cole Burns? Like ‘coal burns’? And you’re a firefighter? This can’t be real.”

“Didn’t you read the report?” Andy asked incredulously.

“I did, but I assumed that you changed the names just to mess with me,” you shrugged and sat down.

“This is what is going to happen now, you’re going to be good, shut up, and sit down so that I can ask my questions. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get away from each other.”

You shook your head in response and Andy ignored you. He went back to questioning his witness as you watched.

“Was it true that there was accelerant found at the site of the fire which was not found in the building prior to the fire?”

“Objection-- that’s a leading question.” You raised your hand briefly in the air to signify both verbally and physically that you objected. Andy turned and glared at you not hiding his displeasure. The poor witness looked around the room and waited patiently for you to stop arguing. “Lieutenant Burns, please do not answer that question.”

“Okay.  Are you going to let me examine the witness now--” Andy already sounded exasperated. You knew that it would be a long day with him and he knew that too. The premise of the deposition was easy but Andy Barber made everything difficult.

“No, but--” You raised your finger and tried to finish your sentence. You blinked for a few seconds in surprise that he actually had the audacity to cut you off again.

“--or are you just going to--” he continued, speaking over you again.  Andy rubbed his hand over his beard in frustration. If he had just let you speak, the deposition would have been far easier. You clenched your jaw as he spoke. Had he no manners?  

“What I’m going to do is try to be as big an asshole as you are, Andy, and I’m going to object whenever I need to,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest and grinned at him smugly with your head cocked to one side. ‘Whether you like it or not.”

“Okay.  That was a bad word you just used.” He cocked his eyebrow at you and tutted. You breathed out, nose flaring and sighed. The sooner the day was over with, the sooner you were able to get away from Andy. 

“Really?  You recognize that word.” You gasped and pretended to be surprised by the announcement. Your voice dripped with sarcasm. It was lucky that there was no judge present as there was a high chance both you and Andy would be disbarred for your behaviour.

“Yeah,” Andy deadpanned. You glanced around at the room and saw both your client and the expert witness shift in his chairs uncomfortably. The air was tense whenever you and Andy were in a room together and today was no different.

“Do you?” You tried to wind him up even further. You wanted to push him as far as you could. The tension made the rest of the courtroom uncomfortable and the stenographer looked to you multiple times to see if she should continue noting down the argument. 

“Yeah.” You could tell that Andy had reached the end of his tether. “Is that so much of a surprise for you?”

“Well, good.  You want me to write it out for you?  I can make it an exhibit for you, if you’d like.  Alright?” You grabbed a pen and started to write the word on a piece of paper on your desk. It was littered with exhibits and documents. So much so that you were surprised that you were able to find a scrap of unused paper.

“Why don’t we keep our language appropriate, okay?” His tone was condescending and he threw you a tight-lipped smile before snatching the new ‘exhibit’ from your hand. You fake gasped when Andy threw the paper away and Andy skimmed through a document in his hand ignoring you. If he was not an attorney, Andy would have made a good teacher with the tone he always used on you. Patronising. 

“Well, why don’t you ask questions, and I’ll worry about what I’m doing.” Andy continued his questioning of his witness before it was your turn to question him. “Lieutenant Burns, please could you give us your expert opinion on what you saw at the scene of the fire?”

“The fire did not start from an electrical device nor did it come from the kitchen. This meant that there was already a greater suspicion of arson--”

You tapped your pen against the table as the Lieutenant spoke. “I’m sorry to stop you, Lieutenant,” Andy turned to you with a tight jaw, “can you stop, please?”

“What am I doing? I’m letting you ask all of your important questions.”

“You’re tapping the pen.”

“Is that what I was doing?” you feigned innocence as the poor stenographer typed away at the argument.

“You know that’s what you were doing.” Andy turned back to his witness, “I apologise, Lieutenant, please could you continue what you were saying.”

“Thank you, ADA Barber,” the Lieutenant looked uncomfortable, ‘I was speaking about why we suspected the fire to be arson. The burn patterns indicated that there was an accelerant used.” 

Andy pulled out a picture and walked towards the witness, “Lieutenant Burns, are these the burn patterns you were referring to? Please note for the record that the prosecution is showing the witness exhibit 12.”

“Yes, that is the pattern.” Andy retrieved the exhibit from the witness and thanked him for his time. It was your turn to question the witness.

“Lieutenant Burns, in your professional opinion, is there any other reason that could have caused the fire?” you hoped that Andy had not had the time to completely look through the disclosure yet and would not have seen the exhibit you would rely on.

“It is highly unlikely due to the amount of accelerant found at the scene,” the firefighter shifted in his chair.

“Is it not possible that the accelerant found its way into the building without a person?” you picked out an exhibit and handed it to him, “please note that defence is giving the witness exhibit 52.”

It was a report on the building’s previous use as an oil storage unit. It was evident from the state of disrepair that the building had been fairly dangerous and the previous owners had not cleaned off any oil spills. 

“Please could you read out the report, Lieutenant Burns.” you had a smug smile on your lips that you tried your hardest to suppress. Andy’s hands were clenched into fists as he watched it all unfold in front of him.

“After an inspection of the property, Unit 42, it was found that the building was unsafe to be in and should be foreclosed immediately.” the Lieutenant looked at you and you nodded for him to continue reading it. “There was evident oil spillage on multiple surfaces of the building including but not exclusive to the floor, walls, and ceiling.”

“Please could you read out the author of the report, and when it was written.”

“Lieutenant Cole Burns, dated 24th April 2020.”

“Would it be possible for a fire to have started without the presence of a person, Lieutenant?” you raised your eyebrow and turned to give Andy a victorious smile.

“In certain cases...there could be a chemical reaction that would cause a fire,” the Lieutenant shifted in his seat under your intense gaze, “it would be possible.”

“And as such, in a building that is known to have been unsafe due to a mixture of chemical spillages and one with oil, could that cause a fire?” 

“Yes. The oil would act as an accelerant.”

“Counsel, would you still like to try and get your boy to take the stand?” the smug grin on your face was now undeniable. 

“Objection, form.” Andy rose from his seat and you turned back to glare at him. There was nothing wrong with your line of questioning, nor was there anything wrong with your phrasing of it.

“I’ll object--” You cut Andy off once more and roll your eyes. 

“Your boy, over there,” you pointed at the witness, “has-”

“I’ll object to your blatant sidebar there,” Andy grew tense and you knew that you were getting under his skin, “furthermore, Counsel, my witness is a decorated firefighter. He is a Lieutenant. Show him some respect.”

There was then a short break. You stormed out of the courtroom to get a cup of coffee and to get away from Andy. The man infuriated you. But it brought you so much delight to wind him up.

---

You checked your phone to find a text from your friend: 1 Attachment Image.  Just as you were about to open it, another popped up.  Check out who’s alone and getting wasted at O’Leary’s.

You opened the conversation to find a picture of Andy Barber, mid-gulp of a boilermaker at the bar.

Seriously?  With the deposition continuing tomorrow? you typed quickly in reply, and sent it.

You must have seriously gotten to him, she answered with a shrugging emoji.

You erased your apartment from the map destination on your phone and put in O’Leary’s Pub instead. Maybe a drink would do you good. Or so you thought.

“Well well well,” you greeted with a grin as you stepped up to the bar, lavishing in the way his face dropped when he saw you, “look who’s drinkin’ away the loser blues.”

“I haven’t lost,” he frowned and sighed. It was heavy and resignatory. He was tired of you. That much was clear.

“Yet,” you added with a wink.  “Tell me something, Barber.  How is it that you manage to convince everyone you’re a perfect angel, in spite of everything you’ve done?  I swear, if I had stolen the valedictorian title from you, everyone would’ve called me a bitch.”

“Oh, people still call you a bitch,” he reassured, casually lifting his beer to go for another gulp.

You slapped the glass out of his hand and watched it crash onto the floor.  He looked at the foamy mess on the ground before turning to you.  

“Fucking seriously?!” he exclaimed as you tried to stifle both a laugh and a scream.

You looked up instinctively at the sound of the door opening, only to see Andy in the reflection behind you.

“This is the women’s washroom-- can’t you read?” you quipped before looking at your own reflection again. As best as you tried to avoid Andy, his presence was undeniable. There was a blatant shift in any room he entered.

He said nothing, shutting the door behind him and stepping up to you.  You continued washing your hands as if you weren’t suddenly feeling dizzy and your heart wasn’t racing. Andy, however, could see through your faux-composed demeanour. 

As you dried your hands, you felt him right behind you, nearly pressing against you, the smell of alcohol and cologne drifting towards you while you threw the paper towel away.

You turned to leave but he was still standing there, caging you in.  Something in his eyes was fiery, more aggressive than you’d seen in him before. Just as you began to side step to get away, he grabbed the sink with both hands from either side and you were trapped.

“Mr. Barber,” you began, your voice coming out much weaker and breathier than it had sounded in your head, “what… what are you doing?”

He leaned in and his breath tickled your ear and neck.  “You,” he whispered, ignoring your question, “are impossible.” The smell of alcohol was equal parts strong and alluring.

“I’m just trying to throw you off, Andy,” you shrugged, “I know you can handle it.  Or, I thought you could.  You need to learn to ignore me.”

His hand moved from the sink to your arm, holding you down tightly.

“I can’t,” he growled.  “I can’t ignore you.  Since that first day at Harvard, you have been… my kryptonite.”

“You’re Superman in this example?” you chuckled trying to break some of the tension.

And that was it.  He grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you with an erratic neediness.  You surprised even yourself by reciprocating instantly, reaching up to grab at his shirt.  He slid his hands down to grab at the back of your thighs, lifting you up onto the faux-marble countertop.

“Fuck,” you mumbled as his hands reached up your skirt, pushing it up from the inside. Goosebumps rose all over your body as it was exposed to the air.

“God, I hate you,” he growled as he pulled you closer to him, pushing his clothed erection against your panties.  You whimpered at the feeling as he rolled his hips and you could feel every detail of his cock through the trousers. 

You didn’t reply, instead slipping your hands between your bodies to start working open his belt and pants. You fumbled with them unsure if it was the alcohol or the anticipation that rendered you useless. He kissed you again, his tongue aggressively sliding into your mouth as one of his hands still held your face with a possessive grip.

Didn’t take long for you to get his cock out and instantly start stroking it, gasping at how hot and hard it felt in your palm.  He barely managed to get your hand off him before he was pulling your underwear aside and lining up with your entrance.

“Somebody could walk in,” you warned him.

“Should’ve thought of that before you let me get this far,” he hissed in reply.

And then he pushed into you all at once, slamming his hips into yours.

“Fuck!” you yelped.  Before you could even process it he was moving again, thrusting into you quickly, ruthlessly.

He pulled back and reached up to your blazer, pushing it aside so he could unceremoniously rip your shirt open, sending some buttons popping off and flying into unknown corners.  He leaned down and left wet kisses down your chest and between your breasts, pushing them together against his face before pulling one out of your bra to suck on your nipple.

You looked down at him-- brown hair falling out of its meticulously styled shape, cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol, eyes shut as he diligently focused on tasting you, lips open to take your skin into his mouth-- and wondered how the fuck you were doing this with Andy fucking Barber.  

His teeth grazed your nipple and a surge of wetness seeped from your walls around his cock.  Both of you moaned.

He stood up suddenly and pulled out of you, manhandling you until you were turned around and bent over the countertop.  He took a moment to pull down your underwear and get a good look at your ass before slamming into you again; you had to put your hand on the mirror to keep from being thrown forward by his brutal thrusts.

He held your hips in place as he fucked you, his head falling back a little when he bit his lip. A low moan escaped his lips as he felt your walls snug around him.

“Fuck, so tight,” he groaned as he buried himself in you as deep as possible with each movement.  

Your eyes fluttered shut but suddenly he grabbed you by the hair and pulled you up, wrapping his other arm around your waist.  “Open your eyes,” he demanded, and you did.  “Look at yourself.”

You looked pretty fucking wasted, honestly.  Shirt torn open, bra half pulled-down underneath it, skirt hiked up to your waist and below it all, his annoyingly-perfect cock sliding into you, slick with the undeniable evidence of your arousal. 

“I can tell you’re gonna come,” he grinned, biting down on your earlobe teasingly.  “You’re squeezing me.  You love this.”

You didn’t even have the heart to deny it, letting your head fall back onto his shoulder and moaning louder. 

“Gonna come getting fucked in a dirty pub bathroom?  God, you’re filthy,” he hissed.  “My little fuckdoll. Say that you’re my dirty little fuckdoll.”

You gasped and reached back to grab the back of his neck, pulling him into another kiss.  He obliged, running his hand up to palm at your breast. Unable to speak, Andy gripped your jaw until you stuttered it out between moans.  “Yours,” you whimpered, “I’m your little-- fuck-- your fuckdoll, Andy.”

He hissed and sped up his thrusts, and you were sure your knees would buckle.  Pleasure was burning through you and making everything feel hot and tingly and numb.  You just accepted it when he pushed you back and held you down by the back of your neck as he fucked you harder and faster than ever.

“Fucking say my name when you come,” he demanded.  “Don’t forget who’s fucking you like this.”

You were afraid you’d scream it and get you both caught, but you couldn’t stop yourself.  “Oh god, Andy, oh my god, don’t stop!” you begged.

He did anything but stop, just groaning as he moved faster until you were a complete mess, your walls rippling at the same time as your mouth opened into a silent scream while you came.

“Oh fuck,” he whimpered at the feeling of your orgasm, quickly spiralling into his own.  He growled one last time as he pushed into you and painted your insides with his seed.  “Fuuuuck yes,” he groaned as he pulled out.  You tried to get up but he kept holding you down so he could watch his come spill out of you and drip down your legs.

“Better clean up before somebody comes in,” he smiled as he zipped up his pants, slapped your ass, and started to walk away.

“Been a pleasure as always, Mr. Barber,” you frowned, pulling your blazer back on and buttoning it to cover where your shirt couldn’t.

“I could tell,” he winked.  “You’re as tight as you were in college.  You need to get laid more often.”

(next chapter)

[whumperooni]

Scumbag Factory Supervisor Hawks

aka Rooni’s self-indulgent pigeonholing Hawks into a super specific flavor of asshole :)

/cracks knuckles

Let’s get into it, shall we?

Keigo Takami as a factory supervisor is a nightmare.

Is he mean and strict? Not quite. But he is not a good supervisor.

Keigo is the type of supervisor that doesn’t do shit. He used to be an okay worker, but ever since he got that shirt? Whew boy.

He won’t lift a finger to help you no matter how far behind you are on your numbers. He barely does his paperwork and gets annoyed when you come up to tell him that you need parts and there aren’t any in storage and can he please ask the stocker to fetch some because they’re not listening to you and you really need them. Just having him call the stocker over is too much for him- he’s a supervisor. He shouldn’t have to do such things.

Even if, you know, it’s his job to make sure everyone else does their job.

He’s the type of supervisor that gets pissed about having to work overtime- no matter if it’s expected. He expects you to get your numbers through the week even if he won’t get off his ass to help and won’t call maintenance even when you’re begging him to please call someone to fix your machine because it keeps throwing parts and you’re getting red lights and you can’t keep up production because you have to stop and fuck with it every five seconds to get it going.

Whenever you inevitably have to come in for overtime, he is an asshole.

He’ll snap at you over PPE and he’ll write you up for even the slightest hint of backtalk. If you get behind, he’ll talk to you like you’re a goddamn dog right in front of everyone even if it’s not your fault and it’s the machine fucking up again because he won’t call maintenance.

You’ll hear him bitching to the team lead about how he’s tired and how he’s sick of having to come in because “those slackers refuse to hit their numbers.”

Meanwhile you’re standing by with tears in your eyes because your machine is still fucking up and your hands are cut up from tiny little parts and your feet hurt from working your tenth twelve hour shift in a row and your back hurts from lifting and carrying parts around.

But, you know, he’s tired from sitting on his ass all day and lazily scrolling tindr and sending dick pics and bragging about his nice new truck and boat to anyone and everyone.

He’s always got the newest model truck. He’s got a nice boat as well- a beautiful Harley Davidson, a big house.

He’s in debt, too, but that’s not stopping him from showing off his toys to his fellow supervisors and team leads. He would show you but, you know, you’re just a machine operator.

Yeah, he’s that type of supervisor as well- the kind who sees his workers as busy bodies and won’t give them the time of day outside anything work related. (He barely gives you the time of day when it’s work related.)

If you’re a temp it’s even worse- you’re nothing but a useless meat sack until you go full time. And then you’re just a functioning idiot.

Of course, though, you’re lucky if he just sees you as a worker and nothing else. The only people who get his attention are the cute, young, inexperienced new hires- poor fools that have no idea what they’re in for.

If you’re young and cute, he’s going to lay down the charm and schmooze you like that’s his job. Warnings from seasoned workers will fall on deaf ears- as much as a douchebag Keigo is, he’s still hot and he knows how to play the nice sweet talker when there’s fresh meat to be taken advantage of.

His hands will fall on your shoulders as he stands behind you and explains the finer points of your job- little things you’ll pick up as you go along and don’t really need to be explained. He’ll smile at you and let you go home early without a fuss, will be sympathetic when you wince over sore feet. Back from break five minutes late? Aw, that’s okay hun. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.

Cue everyone nearby rolling their eyes.

He’s hard to resist when he’s in his Nice Guy mode. He’s charming and smooth, helpful and understanding. And he’s handsome and smells so nice- like expensive cologne rather than the oil and grease and sweat clinging to everyone else. (Because he’s SITTING AT HIS DESK ALL DAY)

He’ll give you his phone number “just in case you ever have to call in” and you know you should only message him for work purposes, but when he starts sending cute little good morning texts your heart just starts melting.

And so does every other girls’ who he’s texted.

Yeah, those dreams you have of becoming his girlfriend and going out on his fancy boat on your days off? That’s not happening, sweetheart.

Keigo will reel you in enough to get a blowjob, a fuck or two.

And then you’re dumped for someone newer and better- given a cold shoulder at work and a simpering “it’s irresponsible for me to be with an employee” that you want to believe because he was so sweet and you really thought he liked you and you like him and-

If you’re stupid enough to have told any of your coworkers, then you’ll get a mixed bag of we told you and sympathetic pats on the back. If you’re stupid enough to believe he meant it, you’ll be in tears when in just a week or two the new girl on the line is getting the charmed laid on her- Keigo’s newest victim to be hooked by an expensive truck, false charm, a handsome face, and the daydream of a good fuck and a loving relationship.

At least the sex with him is good- even if his cum tastes foul from his diet of takeout food, energy drinks, and beer.

You might get lucky and get another round with him in a few months time if he’s bored and doesn’t have anyone else around- either a blowjob in his truck in the work parking lot or a quickie in the bathroom if he can be fucked enough to sneak around inside the plant.

It’s hot, but he’ll treat you worse after- comments becoming scathing when it comes to your work effort and a lot of “jokes” at your expense. It’s not the continuation you had been secretly hoping for and, really, it gets horrible when he starts berating you in front of the line for something as simple as stopping to get a drink of water.

The Supreme Asshole Act is because, well, he’s an asshole. And he knows you’re stupid enough to keep coming back to his dick. All he has to do is furrow that handsome brow and give you a puppy dog pout, apologize in a drawl and say that he’s just been so stressed, that being a supervisor is so hard, that he only lashes out because he knows you know that he likes you and doesn’t really mean it.

(He totally means it)

It’ll be a rinse and repeat cycle until the whiplash either makes you quit or go to HR.

And, honestly, good fuckin’ luck with HR.

Keigo’s got the factory record for complaints- even tough ass plant manager Enji hasn’t been complained about as much.

Sexual harassment, verbal abuse, favoritism- he’s got allllllll the complaints filed on him. But nothing ever comes from it- he’s got the HR department wrapped around his little finger. They all think he’s such a good worker and a nice boy- really, it must be the employee that’s in the wrong and, well, are you sure he meant it that way? You had to have misinterpreted. Keigo is a great supervisor and, really, you’re just a temp- should you be complaining when they haven’t even decided if they want to hire you on? :)

Yeah, going to HR will get you nowhere.

About the only person you can go to is Enji Todoroki- but the plant manager is much too intimidating for an upset temp to go to all because you were stupid and didn’t listen to the many, many warnings everyone gave you.

If you don’t quit, you’ll get to see him pull the same shit with other new hires. You’ll become tired and bitter and grow to hate your pretty boy supervisor with his new iphone and clean nails, the way he only comes around to make you feel stupid for not running parts fast enough. You’ll hate the way he flaunts his supervisor shirt and you’ll hate when he ignores your requests for maintenance. You’ll hate how he sucks up to Enji and how he’ll only get off his ass whenever guests and higher ups come around. You’ll hate how he’ll get onto you for forgetting to put your safety glasses on after break whenever he only wears his maybe once a week. You’ll hate how he casually degrades the women in your area and you’ll hate how you’re always made to clean up the line whenever there’s a spill and how he’ll let the boys go out for a smoke break.

You’ll hate, too, the quiet pang of jealousy you get whenever you see him leading on some other poor, unsuspecting sap.

Keigo is the type of supervisor that will make you drink when you get home from work. Keigo is the type of supervisor that will have jealous boyfriends calling the plant and threatening to come up there and beat his ass. Keigo is the type of supervisor to have a girlfriend and a “work wife.” Keigo is the type of supervisor to make your life hell if he has to come in for overtime and miss his precious basketball game. Keigo is the type of supervisor who will watch you work and throw snide comments your way while maintenance laughs along with him. Keigo is the type of supervisor that will stress you to the point of tears and have the audacity to roll his eyes from where he’s sitting in his stupid rolling chair whenever you mention being tired. Keigo is the type of supervisor that will be on tindr all shift and lock himself in the office to jack off. Keigo is the type of supervisor to mandate you for overtime in another line if he hears that you have a date lined up on your day off- even if he’s spent the last week ignoring your texts and your attempts at conversation.

Keigo is the type of supervisor that will make you hate yourself and your life.

He deserves a punch in the face and a kick to the balls.

[shipwrecknights]

SANDIPURWARA 2K19

Ok this is gonna be the longest post ever but i HAVE to write this so bear with me

My annual school theatre production just ended yesterday and the post production blues are at an all-time high. I am terrible at farewells; I’m not a very sentimental guy, not very expressive and I can’t articulate affection well without preparation first. This isn’t my first production, in fact it’s my fourth. I have literally been through this every year for four years in a row and every time it hits hard but this year the feeling is nearly overwhelming. My family and friends always ask my why i keep going back, seeing that the trainings take so much out of me every year. But the fact is, they will never understand. The love that i receive in return from this production....my god. These people are really my family. Never have i met a group of people so easy to talk to, to confide in, who complains so much about having to train and yet come back every day and give it their 80% (lol). I am SO thankful that they are in my life. I’ve watched this project grow over the years and these people have also watched me grow; from an actor in Ziarah and Cinta Mawar, to a scriptwriter in Kalbu and finally a stage manager in Sandipurwara. In 2015 i was a boy with literally no friends in uni, no interest at all in Malay theatre and now I have a 50+ pax strong family gained over the years. In no particular order, these are just some of the people that made Sandipurwara so special for me: To the PDs: Thank you for pulling me into this show. I was adamant about joining intro this year because i felt that i had to move on in life, and that 3 years was a nice number to leave at. When Halijah texted me (nearly begging) to take up the role as ASM, I just thought what the heck. She is my friend and I should help. Halijah and i met in 2016 during Ziarah. We were both cast members and we weren’t close close, but close enough to joke around every day. I always thought she was hilarious. And a very talented actor. She’s the kind of person that makes everyone in the room laugh with her crazy antics, even when the mood is tense, which was almost always the case. I always say to her “Tu lah siapa suruh jadi PD,” not to mock her capability, but just as a running joke because we were always one of the lazy ones who just wanted to go for smoke breaks during training. And yet there she was this year leading the whole ass project. She has balls. The shit that she went through this year. I feel so sorry for always being honest with you, about your leadership style, about the first script that we all turned down, for always replying to you in a stern, I’m-pissed-off manner. You don’t deserve all that. But I’m honest because I always knew you could be better. Four years is a long time!!! You are essentially like my baby sister now. I hope we can hang out more often, go to gigs together maybe. Anyways you fucking did it jah. I couldn’t be more proud of you, couldn’t be more proud to have worked under you. Some people were skeptical when you wanted to be PD but you definitely proved them wrong. I will never forget you and Zu during Ziarah, acting in the training room at block A level 5, getting scolded by Abang Mok, and crying, and STILL continuing the comedy scene. All with tears rolling down your face. Fuck. You were trying so hard and that made me wanna cry too. Congrats Jah. I love you so much and thank you for everything. (anyways emo night pe) As for Naj, we also met in 2016. She acted as the mother of my best friend in the show, and she really suited the role LOL kidding. But Naj is a good actor and dancer, AND a brilliant admin person, something that I can never do ever. What i like about her the most is that she is quiet, takes all the shit she receives and just get the work done without much noise. Basically the opposite of us all. This year she took up the role of APD, and did it while still being herself. I’ve always respected her, seeing her take up so many important roles the past few years. Someone once said to me, Naj is like one of the most senior person here, starting all the way from Iman, but never once did she mention that or use it as a way to assert her seniority. Thank you Naj. The world needs more humble + hardworking people like you <3 And then there’s Shakir. Fucking hell, where do i start. I wasn’t too fond of you when I first met you. Your face and mouth sometimes really mintak kene rembat. But one day it really hit me (and it upset me quite a bit): YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME. Hahahaha fuck we were both cursed with the dying need to speak our minds and filter absolutely nothing. I guess from that day on I just learnt to tolerate your shit because I understand you. You’re probably the most articulate guy in all the intros (but not in malay obviously). Even though your rhyming poems are corny as hell, I respect that you always speak to us in such a concise and inclusive manner, always try to get your opinion across as tactfully as possible, always thinking of how others would feel, even when you’re an insensitive fuck deep down. You always try to mingle with all the departments, which makes it look like you’re friendly, but we all know you just don’t want to feel FOMO. You are the APD that no one wanted but we all NEED. I’m glad we got a bit closer this year because I feel that being so alike, we can learn a lot from each other. Its a shame we didn’t get to see the Jacket Pelacur ™ this year, but we all know you’re busy making moves silently and to that I wish you all the best. I will never forget out stressful trip finding paint and kain, the girls searching for our felt pads while we stand around doing nothing at Spotlight, and you asking me about haram keropok at Daiso wihle I’m almost crying about the damn skirting. Also, good luck with your stint as the MCMS president. You are the first malay-muslim club president that constantly sleeps in girl’s laps, says the f-word, says Bismillah at the end of a speech instead of the beginning, and changes pants at the storage area without the conscience of even closing the door. You do you bro. I will pray that you see the light and be a better person, but thank you for constantly checking up on me and always being a brother. Love you bro #idkmanidk

To my SM Irfan: Bro. Brooooooo. You are one helluva guy. Sometimes I felt that you were overemotional about many things, something that an insensitive guy like me could never understand. But the more you opened up to me, the more I learnt to understand that you just have a very big heart. You get stressed very easily by very small things people say. But that always pushed you to work harder. I always look at you working so hard to plan our PT/crew sessions, and yet some nights you text me shit like im sorry, i feel like im not doing enough as an SM. BRUH. Kau stop it. But that really sums up what kinda person you are. Truly a humble guy that just wants to go around spreading joy to people with his lame-ass puns. I couldn’t have had a better partner. It was tough doing SM things with no third ASM, and come to think of it we been through so many obstacles that only you and I know about. Constantly texting each other about the shit we have yet to do and don’t know how to do, skyping till 3am at night when there’s training at 10am the next morning. It was a great learning process working alongside you. When we hugged just before the last show, you immediately started to cry and that made me tear up, so I pulled away and got the fuck away from you because I didn’t wanna cry as hard. We are two very ugly criers. I am truly sorry if i have ever wronged you, went away to smoke while you’re busy doing stage work, raised my voice at you, and especially sorry that I made you plan all the PT sessions by yourself. I’m sorry if i ever made your life more stressful. Thank you for showering the crew babies with so much love and attention on my behalf. I think your leadership was more than sufficient and that without you, this show couldn’t have been what it was. Love you Erphie baby To Fitri: FITTTTT. I think you were the one who pulled me into auditioning for the first production in 2016. I rmb just randomly coming to the audition and you were being over-appreciative, thanking me for coming haha. You’ve been there for me right from the start. Always supporting me in everything I do, no matter how shitty my acting was, and no matter how bad I was at script writing. You really are the mother of Introspeksi. But you are also like my sister, my teacher, my maid, my best friend, and my girlfriend (rarely). Truly the MVP of Introspeksi, you always selflessly help the PDs and casts every single year, shower us with love and push us to grow. I love that you always tell us to renew our niat whenever we come for training in order to help us get through the exhaustion, the scoldings, and everything negative. I feel sad whenever you get scolded by Abang Mok because I know you’re just trying your hardest to prolong the legacy of this special project. Even though you’re not the pioneer PD of Intro, I feel that you’re the one that started this big family because thanks to you we’re all involved in this crazy business. There’s really nothing I can do to repay you so I’ll just say thank you, for making my life in uni much much better. Continue being the strong, independent and ambitious woman that you are and I’m very sure you’ll be very successful one day. Love you Fit you’re my idol <3

To Zahir: My man. Another person that I’ve been through so much with. I miss our days with izzah and the bebs, sitting at the skatepark and under void decks till 3am, literally laughing till we cry. Those days I will never forget. Acting alongside you in Cinta Mawar, playing two really redundant roles, was also a fun experience although you were upset that your scenes were cancelled on show day hahaha. I knew you always wanted to act some more ever since that show. And then there’s Kalbu, writing the script with you was one hell of an experience, kita kene kecam every training by everyone, script lambat script lambat, script lambat macam cb. (f u shakir) No one knew how hard it was to write such a serious script under close scrutiny of two PDs, numerous advisors, and ofc Abang Mok. And yet I think we managed to have some, if not most, of our ideas remain in the final cut of the script and I’m still very proud of that. I’m sorry for all the times I scolded you, saying you weren’t putting in enough effort, etc. This year you finally got casted as a main and bro I’m so fucking proud of you. Wasn’t confident with your acting at first but during the show, as i watch you and Hidhir from the side curtain, i thought to myself, damn these guys r really trying so hard and it’s really paying off. Your role was really made for you and I’m so happy that your goofing off on stage actually made the show 10x more entertaining. Dalam diam, you’ve contributed so much to the club, and introspeksi, and you did it all while always making everyone laugh. You’re really a one-of-a-kind friend and we all love you. Didn’t really get to show my appreciation to you after Kalbu (idk why we all never post anything) but bro thank you for everything, thanks for the hard work, thanks for all the laughs, for the lepak/jam sessions, the (two) fitspo sessions, for the subtle looks/touches whenever a cute girl is nearby. No matter how rarely we meet I’ll always treasure this friendship man I love you (I ain’t never gonna stop loving you....biiitch) To Jannah: I know I didn’t spend as much time with you this year as I did in the last, but you know I love you janz. Everyone keeps pulling out the “mana nak lepak dgn kita lagi” shit on me, but you were always impartial and the most cool about it. I hope you know that I cherish our time together from Cinta Mawar and Kalbu, no matter how much we drift apart. Anyways congratulations for another brilliant year in acting. From the start, I knew you were our only hope for the cast. You have always been disciplined, practicing at home, staying in character, doing research, coming on time every training, etc. Your dedication to Intro always impresses me. You, Durr, Win, Zahir and me went through so much crazy shit man in Kalbu. I will never forget. All the passive aggressive texts, trying to get me and Zahir to buck tf up, us not meeting all the script deadlines, sharing personal stories with each other, writing the script at Woodlands AND the masjid till 5am, and all the laughter. So much laughter was shared. It feels like there was no proper closure for Kalbu, cos the four of us never really showed our appreciation to each other/say our farewell properly. No idea why. But well here it is now. Thank you Jannah for everything. You were the first person to make me cry backstage before the final Sandi show. Kau just masalah, aku tengok muka kau je nak nangis. AND even when the final show started, when I saw you singing so enthusiastically (and badlly) at the handheld mic on stage left, swaying left to right even when no one was watching, man that made me tear up too. Never stop being you, the kind-hearted, sisterly figure that everyone feels comfortable being with. Lepak soon, love you baby girl <3 To Durr-baby/daddy: What a guy you are. Even though you’re younger, I’ve always looked up to you from the start. Wise beyond your years, you’ve always been that calming voice for when I’m stressed out with Intro. You always help us out so selflessly, sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable/guilty thinking about it. But its ok because you always show how sincere you are when lending a hand. This year, you’re just an advisor, who doesn’t need to come that often. But yet you attend every training, stood alongside Irfan and I, almost playing the role as the third SM. I appreciate every time you take charge and give out instructions to the crew when you notice that I’m stressed out/can’t lead very well. And you do all this without overstepping any boundaries, always respectful to the two of us. And to think you were and APD and VP of the club last year. If all future exco members follow in your footsteps, i’m sure MCMS will breed an amazing group of individuals. Tapi kau pun satu masalah. I clearly said don’t go behind and see Jannah, you will cry. Kau pergi jugak. Kau just nak semua orang nangis dengan kau hahahahahahahaha its ok bro i understand crying hURTS SO GOOD. Thank you Durr for the countless nights of sending everyone home even when you’re exhausted. Thank you for always keeping me and Irfan grounded in chaotic times. Thank you for the kekek times at stage left, staring at the transitions with me and shakir like its visual ganja, muttering those two comforting words into my ear, “double pivot”, and for always reminding me and everyone that letting out our feelings is fucking important to survive. Love you durrbaby stay sweg A special shoutout to the new friends I made this year, Hidhir and Junie. Ya’ll are just gerek. Thank you for joining our intro family even when you really didn’t need to, and for giving your all for every scene. Firstly I have to say y’all (+ Zahir and Hazeeq) made our saturday mornings a living hell. Wake up late, sick, heavy traffic, phone died, and all the cock reasons ya’ll gave. It got to the point that Junie gave me her house number to call her mum to wake her??? Just hal. Sampai show day dia lambat, faham eh. But anyways. I’m so glad you two decided to join this year. Thank you for being so easy to talk to, as a sister and brother, thanks to Hidhir for welcoming us into his home that one fateful night, for always spreading love and hugs and being emotional as fuck during debriefs. Thank you Junie for being so open with us, always sharing your stories, even tho we never ask. Thanks for pushing yourself even with all the heavy criticism from the directors. If you need your mic box to be checked again, just hmu. To Hazeeq, you alr helped us last year in Kalbu, but this year returned again as another main cast. The best part about Hazeeq is that he is friends with e v e r y o n e and always goes around the room to have conversations with every single person. Proper friendly guy, I’m gonna miss your hugs and kisses every night and your “Sorry I’m sorry....she correct.....I wrong.” Stay gold my brotha, a guy like you is not easy to find so pls make sure you never change.

Last but definitely not the least, my CREW BABIES. Y’all are surely an odd bunch, all randomly coming to help our production. But ya’ll are the best crew I’ve ever seen in my 4 years here!!! Never complaining, even when you come to training and do absolutely nothing. Always understanding towards me and Irfan, listening to what we say, and helping out when we don’t know what to say. Working so hard on the sets and props, ya’ll are always on autopilot and didn’t need us to guide you all the time. Thank you Alfiera (you basic bimbo bish), Aliah, D.Hadi, Hadi Shy, Haziq (ma man), Sheeda, Syazwani (non-tudung), Syaza Aliah (my twine girl u saved my life every show ily) and Zana (my only stage left buddy). I love you all I swear. Special shoutout to DIBO DEE, Dibo baby thank you so much for all your help. You’re so crafty and creative and calm and cool when you do work. I love how your voice changes when its time for serious work and how you go around spreading love and giving sweets to everyone. Can never forget the moaning sounds that erupted from your phone during our dry run hahaha U STAY COOL DIBO ILY. And!!! Special special shoutout to my 3 fav crew girls: Rania, Wani and Sofiyah!!! Idk if ya’ll are my adiks or girlfriends but rest assured I love being around you guys and i’m glad we got close thru this show. You’re all too damn young but trust me if i could I’d marry all of you HAHA. To Rania, thanks for being a walking meme factory, I still can’t believe i’m friends with a 19 year old ffs. But hey you have great taste in music just like me. We can have a date lying down on the beach while listening to the XX and Arcade Fire one day ok. Thanks for shaving your legs for me, calling me every day to pray subuh (I don’t deserve you) and for being so candid about yourself to me. I’ll text you if i’m 30 and single ok pls be my backup plan. God bless you baby girl i love you. To Wani, sorry for saying that you’re too emotional when ya’ll were upset after getting shit for wardrobe things. But you’re so cute when you’re mad?? Hahaha and sorry for saying that you’re conservative (tho there’s nothing wrong with that) just because you’re a madrasah girl. Actually you’re pretty open about everything. Thanks for being a kind hearted person, always looking out for me, and putting up with the nonsense that me and Shakir talk about. Love you Wani if you miss me just hmu and I’ll be there. To Sofiyah, uuuu fuckin’ weirdo. I love how casual you are about everything and how I don’t have to think of what I say around you. Also, I admire how you always kept your shit together even when people were shitting on you about wardrobe things. Thank you for picking up the role despite having no experience in past Introspeksis. You did great man. Continue to participate in the coming years and I hope you get a guy as meaty as Hidhir or has a nice body like mine (#2 best body). Please curb your thirst for skinship and kembali ke jalan yang benar. Hahahahahaha love u Soffy baby see u soon xx And to everyone else, those unmentioned, please know that I love you guys too. Nana, Shaik, Yus and Aishah y’all are my seniors who i look up to whenever we’re doing a show and your knowledge and advice are always valuable to us. I always see you guys as who we’re supposed to grow into in the field of arts, even tho korang berbual merepek 75% of the time. Nana your play-flirting makes me turn off my comms headset but you’re an amazing amazing actor, SM, PD, and now lights technician. My respect for you has always been 10/10. This year you never shout at me, very good. Aishah, your acting has always been crazy good and this year you reminded us again. Thanks for being the big sister figure to all of us babies, while at the same time spewing inappropriate sexual nonsense 24/7. You da besttt. Shaik and Yus, thanks for being the big bros that i never had, always so cool and quiet but so talented with the music. And of course the musicians, who practice so hard every day, hitting the rebana till your hands bruise, coming early everyday to go through every riff/melody/tune and taking all the new ideas from Abang Mok and giving it life. Y’all are so amazing and you continue to be the best part of our shows every time. The dancers, I watched you guys train from the start!!!! Honestly it was very scrappy at first, and you guys went through so much drama and changes and getting shouted at, and of course injuries. All the bandages and patches and ankle guards were worth it cos you guys were amazing on show night, I know because I watched from the side curtain every time. Love the fight song number so much <3 For the rest of the cast, those with supporting roles, ya’ll were equally amazing and some of you even with one scene got an ovation from the crowd. Thank you for the hard work day in day out despite not landing a major role; your patience and understanding made the show what it was; a gathering of unique characters from different walks of life all for a single purpose.

Finally, I’m really sorry if i have wronged anyone in any way, which i prolly have. I love all my friends and never have any intention to hurt them. This shit that we did together was SO special and people will never understand the bond that’s been forged here so I hope these friendships lasts for as long as they possibly can. What Yus said was spot on: there is no “final year” or “last show” because Introspeksi is a family and you can never run away from that :’) Ok PEACE OUT ILY’ALL

[joeybelle]

Starlight - Chapter 9

Relationship: Cassian Andor x Original Female Character

Rating: Mature

Tags: Pre-Rogue One, Slow Burn, Romance, Foul Language, Hurt/Comfort

In the weeks that followed, Cora’s life had fallen into a pleasant routine. The rebel base was slowly becoming her home, and Cora was feeling a little more comfortable there every day. She was still spending most of her time in the med bay, but she wasn’t confined to it anymore.

After Doctor Crane insisted that a medic can’t do their job properly if they don’t have all the information at their discretion, she was allowed to access the medical database. She was still monitored, of course. She imagined that sticking her nose into something that wasn't her business would make numerous alarms go off, flashing lights and all. But now at least she could do her job without any hindrances.

She also started doing more tasks that weren't her responsibilities as a medic, like restocking the medical supplies when needed. Which was fortunate, because she got to meet the people in Storage, and they were nice enough to help her find some unused things to furnish her room. It wasn’t a lot, and it certainly wasn’t fancy, but it looked a lot better than just an empty room with stone walls and no windows. She had some shelves put up that she planned on filling with books, if she ever got her hands on any other besides her beloved romance novel; she had a new coffee table, which was actually just a normal, sturdier table with its legs sawn to the right size; she had another wardrobe, just as standard issue as the other, but she planned on painting them if the ever had the time; a few more chairs, a colourful rug no one knew why they had in storage, and some cushions that could be used to sit on. She never had any guests, so the coffee table remained unused, but she was starting to make friends.

The first person she could call a friend, besides Doctor Crane, was one of the combat medics, a tall and beautiful Twi’lek, with a loud mouth and absolutely no filter, that went by the name Lewella (“It’s not really my name,” she explained, “but you guys pronounce it in Basic like you’re barfing, so this is the best compromise I could come up with.”). She just came one day to the med bay, introduced herself, grabbed Cora’s arm and dragged her to the mess hall to have lunch together. There was no distrust in her eyes, she just accepted her as one of theirs. Since then she would insist that whenever she was on base, which didn’t happen that often, seeing how she spent most of the time off-world, they would have at least one meal together.

Another one of the medics who was particularly friendly to her was Aidan, a human medic that she used to be paired with in the beginning, when they didn’t trust her to be left alone in the med bay. He mostly worked in the ER downstairs, but would also take the shifts whenever Cora and Doctor Crane had a day off at the same time. She’d usually meet him when their shifts overlapped and he’d always be friendly and smiling and would bring her a cup of hot coffee or some treats from the cafeteria when she forgot to eat.

All of the medics were nice to her, and a few even went as far as to thank her for taking some of the workload off their shoulders, so she enjoyed dropping by the emergency med bay at the end of her shifts to say hi.

“It’s incredibly boring being grounded, don’t you think?” Lewella asked her one day, when Cora had finished her shift and went to visit. They were having lunch in front of the med bay, seated on two crates that they hoped weren’t filled with ammunition, watching the ever present buzzing of people in the hangar.

“It’s all the same to me, I was never part of the action,” Cora replied, poking with her fork at an unidentifiable bit of meat in her stew. She was surprised to notice, once she got out of jail, that the shitty food they used to give her wasn’t especially made that shitty for her, that was exactly what they served to everyone else.

“Wow, that’s a pity. What’s the use of being in the army if you don’t get to smash a few heads?”

“I’m perfectly content with not smashing heads, thank you very much,” Cora laughed.

“Oh look,” the woman pointed towards the elevators with her fork, “Doctor Crane’s coming to visit with a datapad in his hands. I advise you to run before he sees that you are free and gives you more things to do.”

Cora shrugged. “He never gives me more things to do, he always insists on sending me home.”

“That’s cause you’re a workaholic. Hello, Doc! How’s it going?”

“Quite alright,” he replied, smiling. “I was actually looking for you, Lewella.”

“Uh-oh.” She turned her head towards Cora, a look of mock horror imprinted on her face.

Doctor Crane cocked an eyebrow. “I see you’re free tomorrow, I need some help with the trimestrial health screenings for the Intelligence Division. They have already been notified and most of them will be on base tomorrow and the day after. It’s a lot of work and we don’t have much time so I need help.”

“Sorry Doc,” Lewella said, finishing the last of her lunch, “find someone else to do it, and I’ll cover their shift. I’d rather do a double shift, no, a triple shift instead of having to do the same tests over and over again on 100 people.” She shook her head. “Plus it’s almost entirely useless paperwork. I’m a combat medic, not a secretary…” she complained.

Doctor Crane’s brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something, but Cora interrupted him. “I could do it. If Lewella covers my shift tomorrow I can do it.”

Cora was certain she’d never seen anyone look at her with more love in their eyes than Lewella when she heard her offer. “I know you’re the nicest friend there is and you’d do anything for me, but I have to warn you it’s the most boring thing in the world.”

Cora laughed. “It’s ok. We had almost 10000 stormtroopers on a ship, imagine doing their checkups. I’m used to it.”

“Kriff!” Lewella looked disgusted.

“If it’s ok with you Doc, I’ll do it,” she told the doctor, who was still glaring at the Twi’lek.

“It’s for the best,” Lewella added. “I may have to fly soon anyway. It’s rumoured that we’ll take off two days from now.”

“Alright,” Doctor Crane gave up, letting out a frustrated sigh. No matter how hard he tried to look tough, he could never stay mad at the younger doctors. “But I do expect you to show up early and do your job properly. That includes all the paperwork,” he said, pointing a finger at her.

“Sir, yes Sir!”

He smiled, and turned to Cora. “We start early tomorrow. Arm yourself with a lot of patience, you will need it.” He handed her the datapad. “You have the list of tests that have to be performed, I think they’re familiar to you. There’s also a questionnaire that the higher ups want us to fill in for every patient. We’ll be splitting the workload evenly, so you won’t have to test that many people in one day, don’t worry. And that’s about it.”

“Okay,” Cora replied, taking the datapad. It didn’t seem so terrible.

“I’ll be going then, before the med droids start to panic that I’ve left and won’t ever come back,” he snickered. “Lewella, I’m expecting you tomorrow fresh and ready for a new shift.”

“Of course, Doc! When aren’t I fresh and ready for work?” They both said goodbye and waved as the older doctor left. Even though he was their superior, rarely did he act like one, preferring to be a friend instead, and he was respected for that. Even though they always joked with him and Lewella complained about everything, in the end they still did what they were asked to do. “If I get four hours of sleep tonight, I’ll be happy,” Lewella snorted.

“Why, you have big plans for tonight?” Cora asked, turning on the data pad and looking through the list of tests.

“A few of us are meeting for drinks later tonight. You wanna come?”

“Not really,” she said, not feeling very sociable.

“Oh come on, it will be fun. You get the chance to meet a few people. Don’t become a hermit,” Lewella pleaded.

“I have to interview 100 people tomorrow, Lew. Can you imagine doing that hangover?”

“It may suck a little less.”

“Why all these sex related questions in this questionnaire?” Cora asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is this a sex health checkup?”

“What? Let me see.” Lewella took the datapad and burst out laughing. “I aaaaalmost regret not being the one to ask these questions.”

“There’s an epidemic of STDs on base, we’ll all have to get tested soon. And I guess we’ll all have to fill one of those,” said Alara, one of the other female medics, who had just joined them in front of the med bay. “Anyway, everyone just assumes the Intelligence Department is the one to blame for bringing them home. The more exotic ones, at least.”

“Why?” Cora was genuinely puzzled.

“Because some people live with this fantasy that all they do is fuck the information out of their informants,” Lewella explained. “I’m not saying some don’t do that, because I know for sure some do, but most of them are way too careful to catch a bug.”

An image of Cassian dressed in an imperial uniform boning someone against a wall in an empty corridor on a star destroyer flashed through her mind and to her horror it was probably pretty visible on her face because the two doctors started laughing.

“You scarred her for life,” said Alara.

“I’m really curious where your mind went just now.” There was a playful glint in Lewella’s eyes.

“I’ve just imagined General Draven having sex,” she lied, “and I can assure you it’s not a pleasant image.”

“Well, it is a pleasant image in the heads of at least a few people I know,” Alara laughed.

“Really?” The disbelief was visible on Cora’s face. “I don’t wanna judge people’s taste in men, but really?”

“Don’t be mean to our favourite general, Cora. He’s pretty popular with some of the ladies.” Lewella laughed and Cora shrugged. “Besides, you never know who’s gonna trigger a case of the butterflies in you.”

“A case of what?”

“Butterflies. You know, the feeling in the pit of your stomach,” Lewella explained getting up from her crate. “Tickling, growing, warm and fluffy until it engulfs your whole being.” She exemplified by tickling Cora’s stomach than wiggling her fingers away. Cora looked at her dumbfounded.

“Ummm… no. I’m good. I’m great actually. Without butterflies.” She grimaced.

“Never say never, darling. Actually, you could really come with me tonight, I know a few people who’d like to meet you.”

“Yeah, no thanks.”

“Hey Cora, isn’t that your mechanic?” Alara pointed towards an approaching figure. “I think he needs a band aid again,” she laughed. “You certainly gave him a case of the butterflies.”

“You know what?” Cora asked, promptly getting up and yawning. “I am very tired, I will have a terrible shift tomorrow so I’ll get as much sleep as I can, starting now. He’s all yours, ladies! Have a good day,” she took the datapad and left towards the elevators.

“The invitation still stands, you know,” Lewella yelled after her. “If you change your mind you know where to find me.”

Cora waved and left the hangar. The underground level was pleasantly quiet even at this busy hour. Occasionally you could hear one of the ships taking off, but she was used to that sound. Sometimes she found herself missing the constant rumbling sound of ship engines.

She punched in the access code and opened the door to her quarters. The room was never fully dark thanks to the light bulbs in the terrarium, but the dim light was a little eerie.

“Hello Ben! I’m home,” she said to the lichen, placing the datapad on the desk near the terrarium and turning on the lights. It took her weeks, but she finally managed to take her lichen out of the prison cell.  She had to use every ounce of slyness she was capable of to convince the guards that she needed a lichen that was growing on the wall of her former cell. They may have suspected she had something to hide, but in the end they brought it to her. She built him a makeshift terrarium from a medical tank and now he seemed to be doing well on his new rock.

Before she finally went to sleep, Cora took another look on the datapad. There was a list of patients she had previously overlooked. First name on that list: Andor, Cassian Jeron. Her stomach contracted painfully.

“Please go to Doctor Crane,” she mumbled. “Please! If there is anything holy in this world, please spare me.”

But either Divinity didn’t give a fuck about her pleas or Doctor Crane had a twisted sense of humour, because the first person that entered the small consultation room was indeed Cassian.

“Good morning, Captain,” she greeted him, suddenly regretting not going out the night before. Being a little drunk would have helped her give less fucks.

“Good morning, Doctor,” he greeted back, taking his jacket off and placing it on the back of a chair. “What did you do to be punished to the medical equivalent of a desk job?”

“I volunteered,” she replied with a smirk.

He narrowed his eyes and studied her. “You really don’t have to try so hard to get them to like you.”

Cora threw him a sideways glance. The assumption that she was doing this to gain their trust made her think that he still viewed her as not truly belonging to the Rebellion. It hurt a little.

“I’m not trying to get anyone to like me, Captain. I’m just doing my job.” She wondered if he was going to be difficult. He seemed a little more arrogant than usual and she could feel the tension in the air. He seemed somewhat defensive, Cora noticed. His eyes kept following her through the room, like he expected her to do something outrageous if he lost sight of her. “Sometimes it’s a little more exciting than this.” She smiled, trying to break the tension. She really didn’t want to argue. “Shirt off.”

He didn’t complain this time and did what he was told. Seeing as he probably went through this every three months, Cora couldn’t understand his reluctance to let her check on his wounds a few weeks back. She figured that after so many checkups you’d get used to doctors putting you under the microscope, but she could be wrong.

The med droid drew his blood as Cora studied the injuries she had treated in the past. The ones caused by the poisonous vines had healed properly, leaving almost no scars, but the skin on his ribs was still a little raised and had a pinkish colour. It was probably still a little sensitive so she refrained from touching it, even though she really wanted to poke him in the ribs just to see if he was ticklish. She tried to remember if she’d ever seen him laugh.

“Keep putting bacta patches on it and the scar will eventually disappear,” she advised. He nodded absent-mindedly, but Cora was sure he wouldn’t do it unless someone forced him. She wondered if the imperial droid, K-2SO, would be willing to do it. Probably.

Once his blood sample was inserted in the lab machine to be processed, Cora moved Cassian to the full body scanner. He took his place obediently and waited for her to go on with the examination.

“How have you been feeling lately, Captain?” she started asking the usual questions while comparing what the scanner showed to his medical file and inputting new data.

“Good,” he answered.

“Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary: unusual pains, any change in sleeping pattern, excessive fatigue, trouble breathing or anything of sorts?”

“No,” he answered mechanically. The scanner showed that he had lost some weight since the last check up, but otherwise he seemed to be healthy. She could see the outline of past injuries and a quick scroll revealed that he had a lot of them on record.

“Have you been experiencing nightmares, fits of excessive anger, sadness, inability to concentrate?”

His heart rate went up for a second before it went back to normal. “No.” A lie.

“Have you been experiencing any type of emotional distress?”

“No.” His heart rate remained steady. He was an experienced liar and he seemed to be expecting the question this time.

Cora tried hiding a smile and keeping her eyes glued to the screen while asking the next question. “Are you sexually active?” Heart rate gone up.

“What?”

“It’s in the questionnaire.” She turned the data pad over so he could see. “I have to ask those questions, I didn’t just wake up really curious this morning.” He eyed it quickly, but it did nothing to reassure him, instead leaving him with an embarrassed smile on his face. “Everyone’s going to go through this, so...”

He laughed nervously. “Why does it matter anyway?”

“STD epidemic on base.” She shrugged, moving over to the lab machine and picking up the results. “Or so they say, no one complained about anything to me,” she mumbled.

“Maybe it’s not the best way to make a first impression.” Cora tried to imagine how different her life might have been today if, instead of almost dying, she had met Cassian when he would have gotten a rather violent case of space herpes on his willy.

“I’m a doctor,” she finally said, coughing to hide a laugh. “I’m here to treat people, not to judge their sex habits.” She took a few steps closer to him. “And speaking of sex,” she smiled cheekily, “are you sexually active, Captain?”

“Yes,” he said looking her in the eye, barely containing a smile. It seemed he had gotten over his unease quite quickly. Either that, or he was hiding it under the smile. There was a playful glint in his eyes and Cora had to wonder if maybe he was also flirting a little.

“Do you have a stable sexual partner?” Cora held his gaze trying to go back to being professional, but failing miserably. There are things you just can’t come back from, she thought.

“No.” He was still staring at her and still smiling, and Cora became suddenly aware that he was standing half naked in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat. Not cool, Cora.

“Did you have more than one sexual partner in the past six months?” She looked at the data pad and kept her eyes glued to it, but she could still feel his gaze fixing her.

“Yes.”

His sex life was certainly a lot more eventful than hers had been in the past six months, but it came as no surprise. Thanks to the girls in the other med bay she was now imagining that the life of a rebellion spy was full of over-elaborate sexcapades.

“Predominantly on base or off base?”

“Off base.”

Well, there were definitely some perks to going on so many missions, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking. She tried telling herself that she should be more professional and not judge his behaviour, but she was a bit envious, she had to admit. She had no time for one sexcapade, let alone as many as she imagined he had been having.

“Did you experience anything out of the ordinary: discomfort during intercourse or after, pain, rashes?” she continued in a monotone voice, hoping he couldn’t read her mind.

“No.”

“Are you familiar with the usual contraceptive methods?”

“Yes.” He was grinning and Cora had a feeling he was having way too much fun. “But it wouldn’t hurt if you were kind enough to refresh my memory a little, Doctor. You know, just in case I forgot something.”

It was Cora’s turn to look at him in bewilderment. Luckily, she managed to take control of herself before she let out a confused “what?” that would have mirrored the Captain’s reaction to the sex questions. She took a deep breath, composing herself. The last time she had to explain to someone how to use contraceptives was in med school when she had to teach sex ed to a bunch of rowdy teenagers, and even then she wasn’t as flustered as she was now.

“Captain, if this is a joke…” she started.

“Do you think teaching people the benefits of safe sex is a joke, Doctor?” She wanted to strangle him.

“Of course not.” Cora pressed her lips together and wondered what to do. She really didn’t want to give him a half an hour long presentation on contraceptives, one that she was sure he didn’t need, just because he had decided to make fun of her. She looked around, but she was sure they had no fliers laying around and it was too late to print some. She made a mental note to expect this shit and be better prepared next time. “Look. I really don’t have time for this now, there are people waiting for me to do their check-ups,” she said, crossing her arms. “But I promise I will organize a seminar on this topic for you and anyone else who may have the same questions. Wouldn’t want to repeat myself.” She smiled.

“Will there be a demonstration?”

“I’ll make sure to bring a banana just for you.” She winked. He laughed and as he looked away from her, Cora realized she really liked the curve of his lips when he was smiling.

“Are there any other concerns about your sexual activity which you may want to discuss with your doctor?”

“No, Doctor. But I’ll certainly come to you if I ever experience any rashes or… discomfort during intercourse.”

Please don’t, she thought, but then remembered that he was still her patient and he should come to see her if anything was wrong with him. Even herpes. For a moment she regretted not becoming a mechanic.

“Alright then,” she said, turning off the data pad, relief written all over her face. “I’m done with you. Your blood tests were good, I didn’t see anything wrong on the scanner, you’re physically healthy.” There was still a hint of a smile on her face, but the tone of her voice had gotten back to being professional. “You’ve lost some weight, though, so I advise you to pay a little more attention to your diet and to get more rest.” She went to her desk and started scribbling on a piece of paper. “I am prescribing you some tonics, make sure to get them from medical supplies.”

He put on his shirt and grabbed the piece of paper, eyeing it suspiciously. She could see he had no intention to follow her prescription, but there was nothing she could do about it. “Thank you, Doctor. I guess I’ll see you around,” he said, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door. She watched his retreating figure thinking that she may have been a little harsh judging him until now. Yes, he may have been stubborn or brash at times, and he certainly didn’t treat her fairly a few times, but he seemed like a good guy. She really appreciated that he vouched for her when they were discussing her freedom. She was here because and thanks to him, in the end.

“Captain,” she suddenly said, getting up. “I know we may have started on the wrong foot, but I want you to know that you can come to me whenever you have a problem. I don’t want you to think that just because we met in less than pleasant circumstances I resent you. I’ll be here if you ever need me.”

He stopped and looked at her, a small smile on his lips. “Of course, Doctor. I’ll keep that in mind.” Cora could see how the smile was slowly turning into a grin and she groaned internally. “Especially if I get any rashes or something. And please keep me updated on that seminar.” Cora facepalmed, against her best efforts. “Have a good day, Doctor.”

She followed him in the main area of the med bay, wishing once again to have her hands around his throat, slowly choking him to death.

“Hey Andor!” She heard Lewella yell, approaching them with two cups of coffee in her hands. “Have a cup of Caf with us.”

“I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry right now,” he said, not stopping.

“Of course you are,” Lewella groaned, handing Cora one of the cups. “So how did it go?” she asked her. “Did you manage to make him blush?”

“Does he ever blush?” Cora asked, taking a sip of the hot drink, her eyes still following the captain. Before he left the med bay he crumpled the piece of paper she had given him and threw it in the bin without a second thought. “Does he do that on purpose? Does he really want to get on my nerves?”

Lewella laughed. “Probably.”

“Next time I am tying him to the consultation table and force feeding the meds to him.”

“Be careful,” her friend said, patting her shoulder. “He may like it.”

Cora bust out laughing. “Who’s my next victim?” she asked, looking around the room for the next spy to interrogate and embarrass.

The rest of the day went by in a blur and without any incidents. Most of the time Cora got so caught up in her work that she didn’t notice the hours passing. But at the end of the day, when she left the med bay to go to bed, there was this feeling of fulfilment in her heart. She had a purpose, she helped people, she was necessary.

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen every day. They were at war after all, and war came with blood and death and suffering, and even though the doctors weren’t on the frontlines, they still experienced plenty of it.

There were days when they felt like the wounded would never stop coming, and they didn’t have enough hands to help them all. There were days when they lost track of how long their shifts were, and worked until they would pass out from exhaustion. There were days in which they saved people. And days in which they didn’t.

Cora always thought the smell of blood was the one that lingered the longest in your nostrils, making your hair stand up on the back of your neck whenever you got another whiff of it. It was undoubtedly linked with the sense of danger and as long as she could still smell it, her heartbeat wouldn’t slow down. No matter how many times she washed her hands and soaked them in disinfectant she could still feel it. It was already embedded in her clothes, her hair, her skin.

“Doc, can I take a ten minute break?” she asked Doctor Crane, after changing into a clean uniform, the blood stained one discarded in the laundry cart with all the others. “I need some fresh air.”

“Of course.” She thanked him and he gave her a compassionate smile in return. He looked a lot older in that moment, directing the droids through the chaos in the med bay. She felt guilty for taking a break when all the others were still working, but the emergencies had been dealt with and she had to calm down before she made any mistake. As one of the doctors in med school always said: “You have to learn to take care of yourself. You can’t heal others if you too are broken.”

She left the med bay and crossed the hallway, heading towards the door that lead outside. She did her best to remember the access code Cassian had used when he first took her out of her cell, and managed to get it right on the third try. It was a good thing that they weren’t paranoid enough to change them every week. Besides, why would they? No one could just fly off the platform.

The day was wetter than usual, a faint drizzle present since morning. The cloudy sky seemed to have engulfed the forest, making everything look gray and misty. Nonetheless, the air smelled clean and fresh. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. Her heart-rate was slowly going down.

“Rough day?” a familiar voice broke her reverie. She turned around to see Cassian joining her on the platform. His uniform was dirty and he looked tired. He didn’t seem like he was having such a good day either. “This is a good place to clear your head.”

“Yeah,” she replied, going back to looking at the scenery, hoping he didn’t notice the tremble in her voice or the way her hands were shaking whenever she wasn’t paying attention to them. He stopped besides her and she could see his profile out of the corner of her eye. Although still handsome, he had dark circles under his eyes and he seemed somehow even thinner. His beard was longer than usual and his hair was messy. She remembered not seeing him around for a while, so he must have been on a mission. “We lost someone today,” she finally found the courage to say. “I lost someone today.”

“I’m sorry.” He turned his head to look at her. His voice was gentle. “But it’s not your fault.”

“Maybe it’s not. I know we did our best. He didn’t stand a chance, not with those wounds...” She sighed, passing a hand over her face. “It doesn’t make it any easier, though.”

“I know. It never gets easier.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “You just learn how to live with it.”

“Did you know them?” she asked, hoping the five pilots that had been brought to them that morning were somehow strangers. Out of the five that came back two passed away in the emergency room, and one on her operation table. The two that remained alive were in bacta tanks, with very few chances to make it through the night.

“Yes,” he replied, looking into the distance again. Cora had no idea what it felt like to lose a more than one comrade in a single day, but she understood grief. She had lost a few loved ones herself.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. There was nothing else to say. The rain had started to pick up, but Cora didn’t move. It was fitting weather for such a sad day.

She felt an arm around her shoulders and Cassian pulling her into a hug. She didn’t expect it, but it came so naturally that she didn’t fight against it and let her head rest on his shoulder, her nose only few centimeters away from his neck. She could feel the rough material of his jacket scratching her cheek and big droplets of rain falling on her face, but she hadn’t felt so sheltered and safe in a long time. His arm was pressed tightly on her back and she could feel her heart drumming against his chest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, immersed in his warmth.

Motherfucking butterflies.

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