#but we live in a society were false accusations ruin males' lives apparently
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
[“For all the internet hot takes about how terrified men supposedly are about being falsely accused of abuse post-MeToo, breeding the short-lived 2018 hashtag #HimToo, it’s indisputable that MeToo has changed many women’s day-to-day lives for the better. Alarmist prioritization of an infrequent male experience of being falsely accused can’t erase the positive impact this women-led movement has had on society, and certainly on women’s lives.
Yet despite the revelations and deeply important triumphs of MeToo, we’re painfully confronted with the institutional power of backlash against the movement. MeToo has been rendered severely dependent on whether powerful men, who are far too often enablers or perpetrators of sexual abuse themselves, have consciences or moral backbones. We’re at the mercy of said powerful men choosing to do the right thing—senators choosing to reject a Supreme Court justice nominee accused of abuse, network executives severing ties with abusers.
For all men’s claims of MeToo ruining their lives, the movement’s power has generally been limited to some social repercussions, five minutes of outrage in a fast-paced news cycle. Meanwhile, because of the priorities of our patriarchal government and its reliance on carceral rather than transformative solutions to violence, victims of abuse still aren’t getting what they need to heal, and are still left unprotected. As often as we hear MeToo has “gone too far,” or what a “scary time” it is “for young men,” to quote our former president, we rarely hear the perspectives of women who feel safer today because of MeToo.
When we hear about “lives being ruined,” the lives in question are abusive men’s—we rarely hear about the lives of women and girls that are ruined by the lifelong impacts of surviving sexual harm, or the opportunities women are denied by men who are too “scared” of MeToo to hire them. As a result of MeToo, some men were forced for the first time in their lives to think of how their words and actions might make women around them feel; this—conscientiousness—was apparently too much to ask for. Why ask men to think about their actions, when we could instead maintain a world in which women, girls, and femmes are forced to live in a perennial state of discomfort and fear?”]
kylie cheung, from survivor injustice: state-sanctioned abuse, domestic violence, and the fight for bodily autonomy, 2023
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
>I had meant to imply that yes, false accusations can ruin a man’s life, as they have done here, but this circumstance is so rare. Like, please be reasonable. You have seven examples.
For someone who said they chose the wrong word when they said "hypothetically", you're still using words to exactly the same effect.
Also, OP implied this never happens. Not rarely, never. Even if we assume actual rape accusations are much more common than false ones, then it stands to reason that there would probably be even more actual rapist men whose lives get ruined by accusations.
So OP was not only wrong about false accusations, but about real ones too.
Like the two I named, whose lives were also ruined by accusations of sexual assault, before they even went to trial.
Which you either missed...or ignored in your count.
Just like you haven't said a single word about OP's obviously stupid argument.
Just tried to move the goalposts.
I also mentioned #MeToo, which, y'know, ruined a lot more men's lives. I'd say the count is way past 7 at this point.
In fact, it seems a tad odd that you're bringing up stats for the US, and acting like they justify ignoring cases in Europe.
You did actually look up the stories, right? Not just dismiss them out of hand?
Because only one happened in the US. The one where the dude actually went to jail, for 28 years. Almost half the dude's life. The only evidencce, according to one of his lawyers, was the victim's dream.
And the only one with an explicit country of origin in the screenshots is, um, from France.
Again, if you can look at all that suffering, and say they're essentially irrelevant because of a standard you made up from thin air just to have an excuse, I don't think you have the moral high ground.
Also, your first source is an Irish rape advocacy organization, which obviously may be a tad biased in favor of assuming rape. It says that the UK police survey/study found 1 in 40 accusations were false, and Victoria, Australia got a little over 1 in 50.
So, not very common, but not irrelevantly rare. That's about the chance of a random American being biracial (or tri- quad-, etc.x).
Your second source says that study results range between 2% and 10%. 1 in 10 is not what I'd call statistically negligible. Your last source quotes the same stat.
And your third source says the UK rate is apparently around 4%. So 1 in 25. A little under the chance that a random person would be Black.
And about four time more than the chance of that someone being Black Caribbean, like me.
>As I’ve said to your mate, men are more likely to be raped than falsely accused. If you genuinely care about men’s rights, you’d advocate for lowering sexual violence rates rather than spreading misinformation about a non-issue that makes it harder for both female and male victims to come forward.
Nonsense.
I'm more likely to die in a car accident than being struck by lightning, but I still look both ways before crossing the street, and I don't dance in a thunderstorm on a golf course.
Caring about issues is not binary, and frankly, I don't believe your concern for men is sincere. Especially since you only started acting like you care about men when you wanted to morally grandstand.
It's also rather obvious when one of the stories you hand-waved away says the falsely accused man was raped (and murdered).
Also, turns out people who care about and discuss female on male malicious false accusations also tend to be people who talk a lot about how society ignores male rape victims.
Including in prison.
Where falsely accused men are likely to be raped.
Frankly, it's bizarre that you think we should focus on preventing male rape from happening (which is impossible, as for all violent crimes), but also to ignore how actual male victims are treated.
Maybe because that threatens ladies' victimhood monopoly.
I have spent the past 12 years I've had this blog talking about male rape and how society ignores (or even condones) it, so it's a tad ironic for you to imply otherwise.
It's only "misinformation" (IE wrong info) if you wildly misunderstand the point of providing counterexamples to OP's tweet, and move the goalposts clean out of the stadium.
I'd love to know how you think talking about men falsely accused by women is somehow bad for male victims of SA.
Well, no, that's a lie, I already have a headache.
682 notes
·
View notes
Text
Women abusing men in pop culture: Why is it taken so lightly?
We all know how horrible it is when us women are physically, emotionally and mentally abused by men. But when a man suffers the same with the woman being an abuser, why is it taken lightly and brushed off?
For many years, domestic violence has mostly focused on women as the victims and men as the perpetrators. If the domestic violence case involves a man as the victim, it goes unnoticed because men refuse to report it otherwise they will be embarrased, ridiculed or mocked for their struggles.
Men who report domestic abuse will face a social stigma regarding their lack of machismo and other denigrations of their masculinity. And not just that, they end up being accused of abusing the woman they are in relationship with or they are forced to be separated from their kids if they want to leave their abusive wives.
When men are expected to take responsibility for their actions, no excuses are accepted, but when the women are the perpetrators of the abuse, they are given the excuses such as: stress, menopause etc.
Why can’t men report abuse?
There are many reasons as to why men can’t file a domestic violence case against their abusers which are:
Fear of not being believed
Fear of not being able to see their kids
Fear of being accused for the abuse due to society prejudices
Fear of revenge by the abuser
Fear of the abuser making fake allegations against him in order to look more innocent.
Fear of being left homeless
There are even long lasting effects of the victims of female-on-male abuse which are:
Low self-esteem
Anger
Depression
Anxiety
Loneliness
Sleeping Problems
Substance Abuse
When Domestic Abuse against Men is brushed off in the media.
There have been countless depictions of domestic abuse in the media, with both female and male victims. But when it’s the female victim, it’s a serious matter, but when it’s a male victim, either people laugh at it or treat it as justifiable or treat the female abuser as some sort of a “ feminist girlboss”.
Mostly in Anime when a female character abuses a man, it’s treated as comedy. Most of the scenarios involve them accidentally walking in on them changing or accidentally crashing into their bodies unintentionally and then they get beaten up for it and are falsely accused of being a “pervert”. The anime Baka To Test To Shokanjuu perfectly sums this up when the lead female characters bullies and humiliates the main male characters. Minami and Shouko are the biggest examples when they are shown physically abusing their boyfriends for smallest mistakes they make.
This happens a lot in TV shows as well, mostly in comedies. Like in Two and a Half Men, which sends a toxic message that “men will be men”, it also shows that Judith is a much bigger bastard like them, possibly a sociopath. She divorces Alan out of boredom, then proceeds to financially and mentally abuse him for sadistic pleasure and frames him for being a horrible father to Jake. She hates it whenever Alan shows a bit of independence and goes out of her way to make sure he will be miserable forever. She does it again with her new husband Herb, who is only flaw is being nice to everyone around him and still misuses his trust and uses him as her personal punching bag. Honestly, I wished the show would’ve ended with her ending up alone and homeless for everything she did.
Another example of this was in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Before there was Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, there was Janet. when Will begins dating his friend Jazz’s sister and while they are at a restaurant, she drops her sweet facade to reveal herself as a tyrannical sociopath who controls Will based on what he eats, where will he go to college and what will he do with his life. When he tells Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv, they brush it off. But one day when Carlton tells her off about what a horrible human being she is, she immediately becomes polite and drawn to him. So the message that they showed here is that it’s the guy’s fault if they don’t stand up for themselves, while his controlling girlfriend gets away with irreversibly ruining the lives of almost everyone who didn’t meet her expectations.
A bigger example of female-on-male abuse in dramatic shows was in the series Mr. Robot.
youtube
youtube
youtube
In the series, Angela Moss is the best friend/crush of the protagonist Elliot Alderson. Her only goal in life is to get justice for her mother’s death at the hands of E Corp and become the most powerful woman in the world. While it’s understandable that she is stuck in a male-dominated workplace and how the E Corp CTO and her ex-boyfriend treated her badly, she begins to misuse her victim mentality and ends up getting brainwashed by Whiterose. She then begins to psychologically abuse and gaslight Elliot in order to complete Stage 2 and not just that, she even emotionally abuses him when he finds out and plays the victim in this entire debacle, she sees not listening to Elliot and Darlene when he tries to warn her about the Stage 2 bombings as her personal “feminist” moment. And then weeks after the attack, due to her clinging onto her beliefs about Whiterose’s machine, she begins to blame Elliot for manipulating her into telling him about Whiterose’s plan when she herself was the one doing the same thing to him. While Whiterose’s manipulation was mostly the main reason for this, another part of it was probably because she was jealous of how Elliot was the “chosen one” in taking down E Corp and wanted to punish him for it and take over the mantle.
Most of the fans saw her actions as “sympathetic” and “justifiable”, with some of them calling her treatment of Elliot, who was nothing but kind to her the entire time, a “feminist girlboss move” and overlooked the fact that she psychologically tortured Elliot and reminded him that he was worthless and nobody was going to love him, not even Angela herself. Even if there were some fans who called her out for doing this and pointed out how horrible it was, others would brush their opinions off as “misogynistic” and “sexist” because “they apparently don’t like seeing a powerful corporate woman.”
Angela even kinda represented a privileged white feminist who believed that she was the only one struggling with issues and had bigger problems than anyone else, overlooking the fact that her friends that were on the lower position than her and brushed them off because her issues were more traumatic than theirs.
It even further showed a lot of double standard of Angela and Elliot manipulating someone to do their job. While both actions were horrible, Elliot got a lot of hate and scrutiny for blackmailing Olivia and drugging her coffee with the drugs she tried to stay clean from, calling it as something he “crossed a line in”. But when Angela almost did the same thing with him and drugged him as well, it was treated as “sympathetic” and “heroic” by the fans and treated her as some sort of a “feminist” for it, overlooking the fact that she was abusing a man to the point he almost lost his self esteem. At some point I even saw someone say that Angela did “nothing wrong” at all and didn’t like how Elliot was in season 3, was it because he was trying to stop her from going through with an attack that could kill thousands? Did they expect him to stay silent, not stand up for himself and let Angela stomp him a lot?
Conclusion
Abuse is something which is extremely serious, whether it’s a female or male victim. Like the female victims, men too deserve to have their voices heard and taken seriously if something terrible happens to them and we should believe them.
Here are the helpine numbers if you or someone you know is facing domestic abuse:
Central Social Welfare Board -Police Helpline - 1091/ 1291, (011) 23317004
SAARTHAK - (011) 26853846/ 26524061
Nirmal Niketan - (011) 27859158
National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE
National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 2000 247
#tw abuse#domestic abuse#domestic violence#emotional abuse#gaslighting#female on male abuse#two and a half men#anime#the fresh prince of bel air#mr. robot#mr robot
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded.
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. http://www.nature-business.com/nature-we-asked-women-what-the-kavanaugh-vote-means-for-the-next-generation-40000-responded/
Nature
Women across the political divide tell us what they hope the next generation will learn from Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s confirmation battle.
Image
After the Senate’s confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court on Saturday, we asked women across the country to tell us how they were reacting.
We heard from 40,000 people.
Many of the women — lawyers, teachers, home-schoolers, military spouses — expressed anger and bitterness over the nomination fight and those on the other side of the political divide. They also told us what lessons from this confirmation they will pass down to the next generation.
Here is a selection of their responses, edited and condensed for clarity. Please use the comments to tell us how you viewed this moment.
On Speaking Up
Image
Lisa Baracker is a doctor, mother, wife and former Catholic turned agnostic Jew who lives in California.CreditLuigi Pasquini
We must break the patriarchy now!
We asked readers: If you were to pass down one lesson to your son or daughter from the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings, what would it be?
I will tell her AND my sons to look closely at Dr. Ford and how strong she was under fire. We must emulate her strength in our daily lives. Every. Single. Day. I want my children to know that they never have to wait 30 years to tell me if something bad happens to them, because I will believe them the minute they tell me — and I will fight for justice for them.
I want my children to know that if they ever act the way Kavanaugh did, either in high school or for a job interview, that I will not be on their side. I will discipline them for vile behavior with everything in my power.
— Dr. Lisa Baracker, California
Image
Nicole MacKinnon is a Catholic stay-at-home mother of two young daughters. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.
Watching the childish reactions of liberals — pounding and scratching at the Supreme Court doors, blocking roads, attacking people on the right, chasing politicians or pundits through subways, out of restaurants, etc. — has only firmed my stance on my beliefs.
Her lesson:
If you are ever a victim of sexual harassment or assault, speak up when it happens.
— Nicole MacKinnon, Columbus, Ohio
Image
Maureen Blackwood is a mother of three who says she is concerned about health care. She lives in Richmond, Va.
I’m devastated. MAGA means going back to the ’50s when women and minorities are sidelined and punished and minimized at every turn.
Her lesson:
To my husband and son, I have said that I’m insulted and angry that so many believe that all men commit sexual assault and it’s just a part of growing up. To my daughters I say that the world is not fair. Women are not believed when reporting sexual assault.
— Maureen Blackwood, Richmond, Va.
On Fairness
Image
Margaret Johnson, a business owner, lives in Texas.
I am pleased that basic human rights such as “innocent until proven guilty,” “burden of proof is on the accuser,” the need for “evidence,” etc., have not been removed from our society.
Her lesson:
If I were advising a son, I would tell him to avoid like the plague any woman who identifies with people who will do literally anything for power, because she cannot be trusted to treat you with fairness and honesty.
If I were advising a daughter, I would tell her not to be like them. Don’t play the victim. Don’t lie for attention and money and power. Be fair-minded and honest and decent.
— Margaret Johnson, Texas
Image
Victoria Church lives in Connecticut and works as a lawyer.
Kavanaugh’s hearings were not a criminal trial. There was no requirement that the allegations be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The hearings were a job interview for one of the most respected positions in the United States.
There is clearly doubt and disagreement about what happened all those years ago. For me, that should have been enough for more senators to vote no.
Her lesson:
Everyone should learn a lot more about the structure of the government, what standards of proof are and when they apply.
— Victoria Church, Connecticut
Image
Meredith Fiori is a psychotherapist who studied at Palo Alto University. She lives in Palo Alto, Calif.
I will be voting Republican now. I don’t want this crap happening in this country ever again.
Her lesson:
Due process has protected all Americans for decades — the days of being publicly lynched for unsubstantiated claims or assaults are over! Thank God.
— Meredith Fiori, Palo Alto, Calif.
Image
Yvette Varela is a single mother of two boys who lives in Arizona.
This isn’t about men versus women. It’s about right and wrong. If women truly want equal rights, stop making everything about gender. What happened to not judging someone by their race, creed, gender, etc.? I’m a Latina and that has never kept me from achieving anything.
Her lesson:
To my sons: Always do what is good, right and be kind. Oh, and start a calendar journal. You never know when that will come in handy.
— Yvette Varela, Arizona
Image
Tanya Couer is a mother of three who lives in Waterford, Mich.
I honestly feel as though the left has used this woman as a political pawn. If any of them truly cared, Juanita Broaddrick [a woman who accused President Bill Clinton of sexual assaulting her in 1978] would have her day in court, too.
Her lesson:
Justice, apparently, only happens for some people based on their political affiliation.
I have begged my son to take necessary precautions in the future as a result of this case. While I wish I were joking, I’ve implored my son to “get it in writing” before entering into any kind of relationship.
— Tanya Coeur, Waterford, Mich.
On Personal Accountability
Image
Sheila Coleman Castells, a nonprofit consultant with a son in college, lives in Eglon, W.Va.
I think if more women were senators and would have been able to vote, it would have been clear that this has happened to so many women, and that Dr. Ford would never have outed herself were this not true.
Her lesson:
I have a 20-year-old junior in college. I have taught him to never conduct yourself in ways that would come back to haunt you because of your despicable behavior. Do not overdrink or smoke. Treat women honorably, be kind and follow the law.
But my son is African-American, and he is even more susceptible to judgments on his behavior and unfair consequences that young white men like Kavanaugh would never have suffered.
If a young black man had been the type of young man that Kavanaugh was, never once could he ever dream of being sworn onto the Supreme Court. Never.
— Sheila Coleman Castells, Eglon, W.Va.
Image
Jamie Ballenger, 69, is a preschool teacher and devout Catholic who raised four sons as a single mother.
It is not so much that I leaned toward her, as I leaned away from him. He seemed to me very much as one who is inclined toward a binge, a binger.
Her lesson:
I have four sons, and they are all grown. I was very outraged (to their embarrassment) whenever I found out they were at parties where drinking and drugs were in abundance.
No one is able to be responsible for their safety or that of others when one is stupid drunk. And you are still responsible for your actions afterward, even if you can’t remember what happened.
— Jamie Ballenger, Charlottesville, Va.
On Telling the Truth
Image
Renee Tate is a special education teacher who lives in Arkansas.
Senator Collins is a woman, and she looked at the facts and voted her conscience and didn’t let her emotions or party dictate her vote. THAT is the kind of PERSON we need in Congress. I don’t care what their gender is.
Women who make up false allegations against good men will ruin the credibility of women who actually are assaulted.
Her lesson:
Tell the truth. Always. And don’t party until you’re an adult.
— Renee Tate, Arkansas
Image
Julia Specht is a writer who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
I do think that it’s vitally important to have more women in public office, because our government should be representative of the people in this country. That means fewer 50+-year-old white men and more young people, people of color and women. We deserve a government that looks like we do.
But I don’t think that women are inherently less likely to make selfish choices, so I don’t know that more Republican female senators would have made any difference at all.
Her lesson:
Just because people don’t believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She was incredibly brave, and history will ultimately see her as a hero.
— Julia Specht, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Image
Monique Dorsey is a high school social studies teacher and a libertarian who lives in Connecticut.
I will need to guard and protect the males in my family from false attacks.
Her lesson:
My daughter will learn to have respect for the rule of law and to not falsely accuse someone of deeds. My son will learn to respect women but to also watch his back because it could bite him in the end.
— Monique Dorsey, Connecticut
On Good Citizenship
Image
Melissa Spencer is a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles with three sons.
If Kavanaugh had just admitted he drank too much and that he doesn’t remember, but if he did something, he is sorry, I would feel so differently about the whole thing.
Her lesson:
The first is to vote and that every vote counts. The second is that everyone makes mistakes in their youth, and it is important to be honest about your mistakes and own them. If you wrong someone, apologize — it will help you AND them. If you behave badly, own it and vow never to do it again.
— Melissa Spencer, Los Angeles
Image
Jennifer Turpin is a hospice nurse, a rape survivor and a single mother of two who lives in South Carolina.
Roe v. Wade will not be overturned. It is the law of the land. Too many liberals are thinking with their emotions and not the rational parts of their brains, and this is causing them to act as if they are irrational teenagers.
Trump, Kavanaugh — these men are not going to take away women’s rights. In fact, if people would take a minute to look at the evidence, they would find much to the contrary.
Her lesson:
It’s important to stand your ground and fight for everything on which this country was founded.
— Jennifer Turpin, South Carolina
Image
Sadaf Jaffer is a scholar of South Asian studies who does research at Princeton University. She serves on the Montgomery Township Committee in New Jersey.
I was elected to local office last year. I always tell friends who are passionate about politics that they should consider running themselves. It is extremely important to have more women in office, especially Democratic women. We also need more women to believe they are worthy of running for office.
Her lesson:
Downtrodden people have overcome far worse adversity than we are facing now. Never lose hope and always believe in the power of collective action to make a difference in the world. The human spirit is indomitable.
— Sadaf Jaffer, Montgomery Township, N.J.
Image
Lisa Sharon Harper is a faith leader, a writer and an organizer. She lives in Washington, D.C.
A woman doesn’t forget the face of the man who attempts to pull her clothes off.
She also had a previous relationship to him. This wasn’t a stranger. She knew him. She had context for him. She would have known him at the party. With him on top of her, all the context that came before would have been racing through her mind to try to understand how this happened. When she said she was 100 percent certain, I believed her.
Her lesson:
Vote. Our current president is in office because he won about 70,000 more votes in three key swing states. Many of the senators who voted “Yes” on Kavanaugh won their seats in midterm elections. The lesson is this: Vote!
— Lisa Sharon Harper, Washington, D.C.
A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.
Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.
Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/reader-center/women-kavanaugh-confirmation.html |
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded., in 2018-10-09 21:40:29
0 notes
Text
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded.
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. http://www.nature-business.com/nature-we-asked-women-what-the-kavanaugh-vote-means-for-the-next-generation-40000-responded/
Nature
Women across the political divide tell us what they hope the next generation will learn from Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s confirmation battle.
Image
After the Senate’s confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court on Saturday, we asked women across the country to tell us how they were reacting.
We heard from 40,000 people.
Many of the women — lawyers, teachers, home-schoolers, military spouses — expressed anger and bitterness over the nomination fight and those on the other side of the political divide. They also told us what lessons from this confirmation they will pass down to the next generation.
Here is a selection of their responses, edited and condensed for clarity. Please use the comments to tell us how you viewed this moment.
On Speaking Up
Image
Lisa Baracker is a doctor, mother, wife and former Catholic turned agnostic Jew who lives in California.CreditLuigi Pasquini
We must break the patriarchy now!
We asked readers: If you were to pass down one lesson to your son or daughter from the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings, what would it be?
I will tell her AND my sons to look closely at Dr. Ford and how strong she was under fire. We must emulate her strength in our daily lives. Every. Single. Day. I want my children to know that they never have to wait 30 years to tell me if something bad happens to them, because I will believe them the minute they tell me — and I will fight for justice for them.
I want my children to know that if they ever act the way Kavanaugh did, either in high school or for a job interview, that I will not be on their side. I will discipline them for vile behavior with everything in my power.
— Dr. Lisa Baracker, California
Image
Nicole MacKinnon is a Catholic stay-at-home mother of two young daughters. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.
Watching the childish reactions of liberals — pounding and scratching at the Supreme Court doors, blocking roads, attacking people on the right, chasing politicians or pundits through subways, out of restaurants, etc. — has only firmed my stance on my beliefs.
Her lesson:
If you are ever a victim of sexual harassment or assault, speak up when it happens.
— Nicole MacKinnon, Columbus, Ohio
Image
Maureen Blackwood is a mother of three who says she is concerned about health care. She lives in Richmond, Va.
I’m devastated. MAGA means going back to the ’50s when women and minorities are sidelined and punished and minimized at every turn.
Her lesson:
To my husband and son, I have said that I’m insulted and angry that so many believe that all men commit sexual assault and it’s just a part of growing up. To my daughters I say that the world is not fair. Women are not believed when reporting sexual assault.
— Maureen Blackwood, Richmond, Va.
On Fairness
Image
Margaret Johnson, a business owner, lives in Texas.
I am pleased that basic human rights such as “innocent until proven guilty,” “burden of proof is on the accuser,” the need for “evidence,” etc., have not been removed from our society.
Her lesson:
If I were advising a son, I would tell him to avoid like the plague any woman who identifies with people who will do literally anything for power, because she cannot be trusted to treat you with fairness and honesty.
If I were advising a daughter, I would tell her not to be like them. Don’t play the victim. Don’t lie for attention and money and power. Be fair-minded and honest and decent.
— Margaret Johnson, Texas
Image
Victoria Church lives in Connecticut and works as a lawyer.
Kavanaugh’s hearings were not a criminal trial. There was no requirement that the allegations be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The hearings were a job interview for one of the most respected positions in the United States.
There is clearly doubt and disagreement about what happened all those years ago. For me, that should have been enough for more senators to vote no.
Her lesson:
Everyone should learn a lot more about the structure of the government, what standards of proof are and when they apply.
— Victoria Church, Connecticut
Image
Meredith Fiori is a psychotherapist who studied at Palo Alto University. She lives in Palo Alto, Calif.
I will be voting Republican now. I don’t want this crap happening in this country ever again.
Her lesson:
Due process has protected all Americans for decades — the days of being publicly lynched for unsubstantiated claims or assaults are over! Thank God.
— Meredith Fiori, Palo Alto, Calif.
Image
Yvette Varela is a single mother of two boys who lives in Arizona.
This isn’t about men versus women. It’s about right and wrong. If women truly want equal rights, stop making everything about gender. What happened to not judging someone by their race, creed, gender, etc.? I’m a Latina and that has never kept me from achieving anything.
Her lesson:
To my sons: Always do what is good, right and be kind. Oh, and start a calendar journal. You never know when that will come in handy.
— Yvette Varela, Arizona
Image
Tanya Couer is a mother of three who lives in Waterford, Mich.
I honestly feel as though the left has used this woman as a political pawn. If any of them truly cared, Juanita Broaddrick [a woman who accused President Bill Clinton of sexual assaulting her in 1978] would have her day in court, too.
Her lesson:
Justice, apparently, only happens for some people based on their political affiliation.
I have begged my son to take necessary precautions in the future as a result of this case. While I wish I were joking, I’ve implored my son to “get it in writing” before entering into any kind of relationship.
— Tanya Coeur, Waterford, Mich.
On Personal Accountability
Image
Sheila Coleman Castells, a nonprofit consultant with a son in college, lives in Eglon, W.Va.
I think if more women were senators and would have been able to vote, it would have been clear that this has happened to so many women, and that Dr. Ford would never have outed herself were this not true.
Her lesson:
I have a 20-year-old junior in college. I have taught him to never conduct yourself in ways that would come back to haunt you because of your despicable behavior. Do not overdrink or smoke. Treat women honorably, be kind and follow the law.
But my son is African-American, and he is even more susceptible to judgments on his behavior and unfair consequences that young white men like Kavanaugh would never have suffered.
If a young black man had been the type of young man that Kavanaugh was, never once could he ever dream of being sworn onto the Supreme Court. Never.
— Sheila Coleman Castells, Eglon, W.Va.
Image
Jamie Ballenger, 69, is a preschool teacher and devout Catholic who raised four sons as a single mother.
It is not so much that I leaned toward her, as I leaned away from him. He seemed to me very much as one who is inclined toward a binge, a binger.
Her lesson:
I have four sons, and they are all grown. I was very outraged (to their embarrassment) whenever I found out they were at parties where drinking and drugs were in abundance.
No one is able to be responsible for their safety or that of others when one is stupid drunk. And you are still responsible for your actions afterward, even if you can’t remember what happened.
— Jamie Ballenger, Charlottesville, Va.
On Telling the Truth
Image
Renee Tate is a special education teacher who lives in Arkansas.
Senator Collins is a woman, and she looked at the facts and voted her conscience and didn’t let her emotions or party dictate her vote. THAT is the kind of PERSON we need in Congress. I don’t care what their gender is.
Women who make up false allegations against good men will ruin the credibility of women who actually are assaulted.
Her lesson:
Tell the truth. Always. And don’t party until you’re an adult.
— Renee Tate, Arkansas
Image
Julia Specht is a writer who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
I do think that it’s vitally important to have more women in public office, because our government should be representative of the people in this country. That means fewer 50+-year-old white men and more young people, people of color and women. We deserve a government that looks like we do.
But I don’t think that women are inherently less likely to make selfish choices, so I don’t know that more Republican female senators would have made any difference at all.
Her lesson:
Just because people don’t believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She was incredibly brave, and history will ultimately see her as a hero.
— Julia Specht, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Image
Monique Dorsey is a high school social studies teacher and a libertarian who lives in Connecticut.
I will need to guard and protect the males in my family from false attacks.
Her lesson:
My daughter will learn to have respect for the rule of law and to not falsely accuse someone of deeds. My son will learn to respect women but to also watch his back because it could bite him in the end.
— Monique Dorsey, Connecticut
On Good Citizenship
Image
Melissa Spencer is a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles with three sons.
If Kavanaugh had just admitted he drank too much and that he doesn’t remember, but if he did something, he is sorry, I would feel so differently about the whole thing.
Her lesson:
The first is to vote and that every vote counts. The second is that everyone makes mistakes in their youth, and it is important to be honest about your mistakes and own them. If you wrong someone, apologize — it will help you AND them. If you behave badly, own it and vow never to do it again.
— Melissa Spencer, Los Angeles
Image
Jennifer Turpin is a hospice nurse, a rape survivor and a single mother of two who lives in South Carolina.
Roe v. Wade will not be overturned. It is the law of the land. Too many liberals are thinking with their emotions and not the rational parts of their brains, and this is causing them to act as if they are irrational teenagers.
Trump, Kavanaugh — these men are not going to take away women’s rights. In fact, if people would take a minute to look at the evidence, they would find much to the contrary.
Her lesson:
It’s important to stand your ground and fight for everything on which this country was founded.
— Jennifer Turpin, South Carolina
Image
Sadaf Jaffer is a scholar of South Asian studies who does research at Princeton University. She serves on the Montgomery Township Committee in New Jersey.
I was elected to local office last year. I always tell friends who are passionate about politics that they should consider running themselves. It is extremely important to have more women in office, especially Democratic women. We also need more women to believe they are worthy of running for office.
Her lesson:
Downtrodden people have overcome far worse adversity than we are facing now. Never lose hope and always believe in the power of collective action to make a difference in the world. The human spirit is indomitable.
— Sadaf Jaffer, Montgomery Township, N.J.
Image
Lisa Sharon Harper is a faith leader, a writer and an organizer. She lives in Washington, D.C.
A woman doesn’t forget the face of the man who attempts to pull her clothes off.
She also had a previous relationship to him. This wasn’t a stranger. She knew him. She had context for him. She would have known him at the party. With him on top of her, all the context that came before would have been racing through her mind to try to understand how this happened. When she said she was 100 percent certain, I believed her.
Her lesson:
Vote. Our current president is in office because he won about 70,000 more votes in three key swing states. Many of the senators who voted “Yes” on Kavanaugh won their seats in midterm elections. The lesson is this: Vote!
— Lisa Sharon Harper, Washington, D.C.
A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.
Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.
Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/reader-center/women-kavanaugh-confirmation.html |
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded., in 2018-10-09 21:40:29
0 notes
Text
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded.
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. https://ift.tt/2ya1rE5
Nature
Women across the political divide tell us what they hope the next generation will learn from Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s confirmation battle.
Image
After the Senate’s confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court on Saturday, we asked women across the country to tell us how they were reacting.
We heard from 40,000 people.
Many of the women — lawyers, teachers, home-schoolers, military spouses — expressed anger and bitterness over the nomination fight and those on the other side of the political divide. They also told us what lessons from this confirmation they will pass down to the next generation.
Here is a selection of their responses, edited and condensed for clarity. Please use the comments to tell us how you viewed this moment.
On Speaking Up
Image
Lisa Baracker is a doctor, mother, wife and former Catholic turned agnostic Jew who lives in California.CreditLuigi Pasquini
We must break the patriarchy now!
We asked readers: If you were to pass down one lesson to your son or daughter from the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings, what would it be?
I will tell her AND my sons to look closely at Dr. Ford and how strong she was under fire. We must emulate her strength in our daily lives. Every. Single. Day. I want my children to know that they never have to wait 30 years to tell me if something bad happens to them, because I will believe them the minute they tell me — and I will fight for justice for them.
I want my children to know that if they ever act the way Kavanaugh did, either in high school or for a job interview, that I will not be on their side. I will discipline them for vile behavior with everything in my power.
— Dr. Lisa Baracker, California
Image
Nicole MacKinnon is a Catholic stay-at-home mother of two young daughters. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.
Watching the childish reactions of liberals — pounding and scratching at the Supreme Court doors, blocking roads, attacking people on the right, chasing politicians or pundits through subways, out of restaurants, etc. — has only firmed my stance on my beliefs.
Her lesson:
If you are ever a victim of sexual harassment or assault, speak up when it happens.
— Nicole MacKinnon, Columbus, Ohio
Image
Maureen Blackwood is a mother of three who says she is concerned about health care. She lives in Richmond, Va.
I’m devastated. MAGA means going back to the ’50s when women and minorities are sidelined and punished and minimized at every turn.
Her lesson:
To my husband and son, I have said that I’m insulted and angry that so many believe that all men commit sexual assault and it’s just a part of growing up. To my daughters I say that the world is not fair. Women are not believed when reporting sexual assault.
— Maureen Blackwood, Richmond, Va.
On Fairness
Image
Margaret Johnson, a business owner, lives in Texas.
I am pleased that basic human rights such as “innocent until proven guilty,” “burden of proof is on the accuser,” the need for “evidence,” etc., have not been removed from our society.
Her lesson:
If I were advising a son, I would tell him to avoid like the plague any woman who identifies with people who will do literally anything for power, because she cannot be trusted to treat you with fairness and honesty.
If I were advising a daughter, I would tell her not to be like them. Don’t play the victim. Don’t lie for attention and money and power. Be fair-minded and honest and decent.
— Margaret Johnson, Texas
Image
Victoria Church lives in Connecticut and works as a lawyer.
Kavanaugh’s hearings were not a criminal trial. There was no requirement that the allegations be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The hearings were a job interview for one of the most respected positions in the United States.
There is clearly doubt and disagreement about what happened all those years ago. For me, that should have been enough for more senators to vote no.
Her lesson:
Everyone should learn a lot more about the structure of the government, what standards of proof are and when they apply.
— Victoria Church, Connecticut
Image
Meredith Fiori is a psychotherapist who studied at Palo Alto University. She lives in Palo Alto, Calif.
I will be voting Republican now. I don’t want this crap happening in this country ever again.
Her lesson:
Due process has protected all Americans for decades — the days of being publicly lynched for unsubstantiated claims or assaults are over! Thank God.
— Meredith Fiori, Palo Alto, Calif.
Image
Yvette Varela is a single mother of two boys who lives in Arizona.
This isn’t about men versus women. It’s about right and wrong. If women truly want equal rights, stop making everything about gender. What happened to not judging someone by their race, creed, gender, etc.? I’m a Latina and that has never kept me from achieving anything.
Her lesson:
To my sons: Always do what is good, right and be kind. Oh, and start a calendar journal. You never know when that will come in handy.
— Yvette Varela, Arizona
Image
Tanya Couer is a mother of three who lives in Waterford, Mich.
I honestly feel as though the left has used this woman as a political pawn. If any of them truly cared, Juanita Broaddrick [a woman who accused President Bill Clinton of sexual assaulting her in 1978] would have her day in court, too.
Her lesson:
Justice, apparently, only happens for some people based on their political affiliation.
I have begged my son to take necessary precautions in the future as a result of this case. While I wish I were joking, I’ve implored my son to “get it in writing” before entering into any kind of relationship.
— Tanya Coeur, Waterford, Mich.
On Personal Accountability
Image
Sheila Coleman Castells, a nonprofit consultant with a son in college, lives in Eglon, W.Va.
I think if more women were senators and would have been able to vote, it would have been clear that this has happened to so many women, and that Dr. Ford would never have outed herself were this not true.
Her lesson:
I have a 20-year-old junior in college. I have taught him to never conduct yourself in ways that would come back to haunt you because of your despicable behavior. Do not overdrink or smoke. Treat women honorably, be kind and follow the law.
But my son is African-American, and he is even more susceptible to judgments on his behavior and unfair consequences that young white men like Kavanaugh would never have suffered.
If a young black man had been the type of young man that Kavanaugh was, never once could he ever dream of being sworn onto the Supreme Court. Never.
— Sheila Coleman Castells, Eglon, W.Va.
Image
Jamie Ballenger, 69, is a preschool teacher and devout Catholic who raised four sons as a single mother.
It is not so much that I leaned toward her, as I leaned away from him. He seemed to me very much as one who is inclined toward a binge, a binger.
Her lesson:
I have four sons, and they are all grown. I was very outraged (to their embarrassment) whenever I found out they were at parties where drinking and drugs were in abundance.
No one is able to be responsible for their safety or that of others when one is stupid drunk. And you are still responsible for your actions afterward, even if you can’t remember what happened.
— Jamie Ballenger, Charlottesville, Va.
On Telling the Truth
Image
Renee Tate is a special education teacher who lives in Arkansas.
Senator Collins is a woman, and she looked at the facts and voted her conscience and didn’t let her emotions or party dictate her vote. THAT is the kind of PERSON we need in Congress. I don’t care what their gender is.
Women who make up false allegations against good men will ruin the credibility of women who actually are assaulted.
Her lesson:
Tell the truth. Always. And don’t party until you’re an adult.
— Renee Tate, Arkansas
Image
Julia Specht is a writer who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
I do think that it’s vitally important to have more women in public office, because our government should be representative of the people in this country. That means fewer 50+-year-old white men and more young people, people of color and women. We deserve a government that looks like we do.
But I don’t think that women are inherently less likely to make selfish choices, so I don’t know that more Republican female senators would have made any difference at all.
Her lesson:
Just because people don’t believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She was incredibly brave, and history will ultimately see her as a hero.
— Julia Specht, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Image
Monique Dorsey is a high school social studies teacher and a libertarian who lives in Connecticut.
I will need to guard and protect the males in my family from false attacks.
Her lesson:
My daughter will learn to have respect for the rule of law and to not falsely accuse someone of deeds. My son will learn to respect women but to also watch his back because it could bite him in the end.
— Monique Dorsey, Connecticut
On Good Citizenship
Image
Melissa Spencer is a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles with three sons.
If Kavanaugh had just admitted he drank too much and that he doesn’t remember, but if he did something, he is sorry, I would feel so differently about the whole thing.
Her lesson:
The first is to vote and that every vote counts. The second is that everyone makes mistakes in their youth, and it is important to be honest about your mistakes and own them. If you wrong someone, apologize — it will help you AND them. If you behave badly, own it and vow never to do it again.
— Melissa Spencer, Los Angeles
Image
Jennifer Turpin is a hospice nurse, a rape survivor and a single mother of two who lives in South Carolina.
Roe v. Wade will not be overturned. It is the law of the land. Too many liberals are thinking with their emotions and not the rational parts of their brains, and this is causing them to act as if they are irrational teenagers.
Trump, Kavanaugh — these men are not going to take away women’s rights. In fact, if people would take a minute to look at the evidence, they would find much to the contrary.
Her lesson:
It’s important to stand your ground and fight for everything on which this country was founded.
— Jennifer Turpin, South Carolina
Image
Sadaf Jaffer is a scholar of South Asian studies who does research at Princeton University. She serves on the Montgomery Township Committee in New Jersey.
I was elected to local office last year. I always tell friends who are passionate about politics that they should consider running themselves. It is extremely important to have more women in office, especially Democratic women. We also need more women to believe they are worthy of running for office.
Her lesson:
Downtrodden people have overcome far worse adversity than we are facing now. Never lose hope and always believe in the power of collective action to make a difference in the world. The human spirit is indomitable.
— Sadaf Jaffer, Montgomery Township, N.J.
Image
Lisa Sharon Harper is a faith leader, a writer and an organizer. She lives in Washington, D.C.
A woman doesn’t forget the face of the man who attempts to pull her clothes off.
She also had a previous relationship to him. This wasn’t a stranger. She knew him. She had context for him. She would have known him at the party. With him on top of her, all the context that came before would have been racing through her mind to try to understand how this happened. When she said she was 100 percent certain, I believed her.
Her lesson:
Vote. Our current president is in office because he won about 70,000 more votes in three key swing states. Many of the senators who voted “Yes” on Kavanaugh won their seats in midterm elections. The lesson is this: Vote!
— Lisa Sharon Harper, Washington, D.C.
A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.
Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.
Read More | https://ift.tt/2pLns7p |
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded., in 2018-10-09 21:40:29
0 notes
Text
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded.
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. http://www.nature-business.com/nature-we-asked-women-what-the-kavanaugh-vote-means-for-the-next-generation-40000-responded/
Nature
Women across the political divide tell us what they hope the next generation will learn from Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s confirmation battle.
Image
After the Senate’s confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court on Saturday, we asked women across the country to tell us how they were reacting.
We heard from 40,000 people.
Many of the women — lawyers, teachers, home-schoolers, military spouses — expressed anger and bitterness over the nomination fight and those on the other side of the political divide. They also told us what lessons from this confirmation they will pass down to the next generation.
Here is a selection of their responses, edited and condensed for clarity. Please use the comments to tell us how you viewed this moment.
On Speaking Up
Image
Lisa Baracker is a doctor, mother, wife and former Catholic turned agnostic Jew who lives in California.CreditLuigi Pasquini
We must break the patriarchy now!
We asked readers: If you were to pass down one lesson to your son or daughter from the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings, what would it be?
I will tell her AND my sons to look closely at Dr. Ford and how strong she was under fire. We must emulate her strength in our daily lives. Every. Single. Day. I want my children to know that they never have to wait 30 years to tell me if something bad happens to them, because I will believe them the minute they tell me — and I will fight for justice for them.
I want my children to know that if they ever act the way Kavanaugh did, either in high school or for a job interview, that I will not be on their side. I will discipline them for vile behavior with everything in my power.
— Dr. Lisa Baracker, California
Image
Nicole MacKinnon is a Catholic stay-at-home mother of two young daughters. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.
Watching the childish reactions of liberals — pounding and scratching at the Supreme Court doors, blocking roads, attacking people on the right, chasing politicians or pundits through subways, out of restaurants, etc. — has only firmed my stance on my beliefs.
Her lesson:
If you are ever a victim of sexual harassment or assault, speak up when it happens.
— Nicole MacKinnon, Columbus, Ohio
Image
Maureen Blackwood is a mother of three who says she is concerned about health care. She lives in Richmond, Va.
I’m devastated. MAGA means going back to the ’50s when women and minorities are sidelined and punished and minimized at every turn.
Her lesson:
To my husband and son, I have said that I’m insulted and angry that so many believe that all men commit sexual assault and it’s just a part of growing up. To my daughters I say that the world is not fair. Women are not believed when reporting sexual assault.
— Maureen Blackwood, Richmond, Va.
On Fairness
Image
Margaret Johnson, a business owner, lives in Texas.
I am pleased that basic human rights such as “innocent until proven guilty,” “burden of proof is on the accuser,” the need for “evidence,” etc., have not been removed from our society.
Her lesson:
If I were advising a son, I would tell him to avoid like the plague any woman who identifies with people who will do literally anything for power, because she cannot be trusted to treat you with fairness and honesty.
If I were advising a daughter, I would tell her not to be like them. Don’t play the victim. Don’t lie for attention and money and power. Be fair-minded and honest and decent.
— Margaret Johnson, Texas
Image
Victoria Church lives in Connecticut and works as a lawyer.
Kavanaugh’s hearings were not a criminal trial. There was no requirement that the allegations be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The hearings were a job interview for one of the most respected positions in the United States.
There is clearly doubt and disagreement about what happened all those years ago. For me, that should have been enough for more senators to vote no.
Her lesson:
Everyone should learn a lot more about the structure of the government, what standards of proof are and when they apply.
— Victoria Church, Connecticut
Image
Meredith Fiori is a psychotherapist who studied at Palo Alto University. She lives in Palo Alto, Calif.
I will be voting Republican now. I don’t want this crap happening in this country ever again.
Her lesson:
Due process has protected all Americans for decades — the days of being publicly lynched for unsubstantiated claims or assaults are over! Thank God.
— Meredith Fiori, Palo Alto, Calif.
Image
Yvette Varela is a single mother of two boys who lives in Arizona.
This isn’t about men versus women. It’s about right and wrong. If women truly want equal rights, stop making everything about gender. What happened to not judging someone by their race, creed, gender, etc.? I’m a Latina and that has never kept me from achieving anything.
Her lesson:
To my sons: Always do what is good, right and be kind. Oh, and start a calendar journal. You never know when that will come in handy.
— Yvette Varela, Arizona
Image
Tanya Couer is a mother of three who lives in Waterford, Mich.
I honestly feel as though the left has used this woman as a political pawn. If any of them truly cared, Juanita Broaddrick [a woman who accused President Bill Clinton of sexual assaulting her in 1978] would have her day in court, too.
Her lesson:
Justice, apparently, only happens for some people based on their political affiliation.
I have begged my son to take necessary precautions in the future as a result of this case. While I wish I were joking, I’ve implored my son to “get it in writing” before entering into any kind of relationship.
— Tanya Coeur, Waterford, Mich.
On Personal Accountability
Image
Sheila Coleman Castells, a nonprofit consultant with a son in college, lives in Eglon, W.Va.
I think if more women were senators and would have been able to vote, it would have been clear that this has happened to so many women, and that Dr. Ford would never have outed herself were this not true.
Her lesson:
I have a 20-year-old junior in college. I have taught him to never conduct yourself in ways that would come back to haunt you because of your despicable behavior. Do not overdrink or smoke. Treat women honorably, be kind and follow the law.
But my son is African-American, and he is even more susceptible to judgments on his behavior and unfair consequences that young white men like Kavanaugh would never have suffered.
If a young black man had been the type of young man that Kavanaugh was, never once could he ever dream of being sworn onto the Supreme Court. Never.
— Sheila Coleman Castells, Eglon, W.Va.
Image
Jamie Ballenger, 69, is a preschool teacher and devout Catholic who raised four sons as a single mother.
It is not so much that I leaned toward her, as I leaned away from him. He seemed to me very much as one who is inclined toward a binge, a binger.
Her lesson:
I have four sons, and they are all grown. I was very outraged (to their embarrassment) whenever I found out they were at parties where drinking and drugs were in abundance.
No one is able to be responsible for their safety or that of others when one is stupid drunk. And you are still responsible for your actions afterward, even if you can’t remember what happened.
— Jamie Ballenger, Charlottesville, Va.
On Telling the Truth
Image
Renee Tate is a special education teacher who lives in Arkansas.
Senator Collins is a woman, and she looked at the facts and voted her conscience and didn’t let her emotions or party dictate her vote. THAT is the kind of PERSON we need in Congress. I don’t care what their gender is.
Women who make up false allegations against good men will ruin the credibility of women who actually are assaulted.
Her lesson:
Tell the truth. Always. And don’t party until you’re an adult.
— Renee Tate, Arkansas
Image
Julia Specht is a writer who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
I do think that it’s vitally important to have more women in public office, because our government should be representative of the people in this country. That means fewer 50+-year-old white men and more young people, people of color and women. We deserve a government that looks like we do.
But I don’t think that women are inherently less likely to make selfish choices, so I don’t know that more Republican female senators would have made any difference at all.
Her lesson:
Just because people don’t believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She was incredibly brave, and history will ultimately see her as a hero.
— Julia Specht, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Image
Monique Dorsey is a high school social studies teacher and a libertarian who lives in Connecticut.
I will need to guard and protect the males in my family from false attacks.
Her lesson:
My daughter will learn to have respect for the rule of law and to not falsely accuse someone of deeds. My son will learn to respect women but to also watch his back because it could bite him in the end.
— Monique Dorsey, Connecticut
On Good Citizenship
Image
Melissa Spencer is a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles with three sons.
If Kavanaugh had just admitted he drank too much and that he doesn’t remember, but if he did something, he is sorry, I would feel so differently about the whole thing.
Her lesson:
The first is to vote and that every vote counts. The second is that everyone makes mistakes in their youth, and it is important to be honest about your mistakes and own them. If you wrong someone, apologize — it will help you AND them. If you behave badly, own it and vow never to do it again.
— Melissa Spencer, Los Angeles
Image
Jennifer Turpin is a hospice nurse, a rape survivor and a single mother of two who lives in South Carolina.
Roe v. Wade will not be overturned. It is the law of the land. Too many liberals are thinking with their emotions and not the rational parts of their brains, and this is causing them to act as if they are irrational teenagers.
Trump, Kavanaugh — these men are not going to take away women’s rights. In fact, if people would take a minute to look at the evidence, they would find much to the contrary.
Her lesson:
It’s important to stand your ground and fight for everything on which this country was founded.
— Jennifer Turpin, South Carolina
Image
Sadaf Jaffer is a scholar of South Asian studies who does research at Princeton University. She serves on the Montgomery Township Committee in New Jersey.
I was elected to local office last year. I always tell friends who are passionate about politics that they should consider running themselves. It is extremely important to have more women in office, especially Democratic women. We also need more women to believe they are worthy of running for office.
Her lesson:
Downtrodden people have overcome far worse adversity than we are facing now. Never lose hope and always believe in the power of collective action to make a difference in the world. The human spirit is indomitable.
— Sadaf Jaffer, Montgomery Township, N.J.
Image
Lisa Sharon Harper is a faith leader, a writer and an organizer. She lives in Washington, D.C.
A woman doesn’t forget the face of the man who attempts to pull her clothes off.
She also had a previous relationship to him. This wasn’t a stranger. She knew him. She had context for him. She would have known him at the party. With him on top of her, all the context that came before would have been racing through her mind to try to understand how this happened. When she said she was 100 percent certain, I believed her.
Her lesson:
Vote. Our current president is in office because he won about 70,000 more votes in three key swing states. Many of the senators who voted “Yes” on Kavanaugh won their seats in midterm elections. The lesson is this: Vote!
— Lisa Sharon Harper, Washington, D.C.
A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.
Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.
Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/reader-center/women-kavanaugh-confirmation.html |
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded., in 2018-10-09 21:40:29
0 notes
Text
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded.
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. http://www.nature-business.com/nature-we-asked-women-what-the-kavanaugh-vote-means-for-the-next-generation-40000-responded/
Nature
Women across the political divide tell us what they hope the next generation will learn from Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s confirmation battle.
Image
After the Senate’s confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court on Saturday, we asked women across the country to tell us how they were reacting.
We heard from 40,000 people.
Many of the women — lawyers, teachers, home-schoolers, military spouses — expressed anger and bitterness over the nomination fight and those on the other side of the political divide. They also told us what lessons from this confirmation they will pass down to the next generation.
Here is a selection of their responses, edited and condensed for clarity. Please use the comments to tell us how you viewed this moment.
On Speaking Up
Image
Lisa Baracker is a doctor, mother, wife and former Catholic turned agnostic Jew who lives in California.CreditLuigi Pasquini
We must break the patriarchy now!
We asked readers: If you were to pass down one lesson to your son or daughter from the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings, what would it be?
I will tell her AND my sons to look closely at Dr. Ford and how strong she was under fire. We must emulate her strength in our daily lives. Every. Single. Day. I want my children to know that they never have to wait 30 years to tell me if something bad happens to them, because I will believe them the minute they tell me — and I will fight for justice for them.
I want my children to know that if they ever act the way Kavanaugh did, either in high school or for a job interview, that I will not be on their side. I will discipline them for vile behavior with everything in my power.
— Dr. Lisa Baracker, California
Image
Nicole MacKinnon is a Catholic stay-at-home mother of two young daughters. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.
Watching the childish reactions of liberals — pounding and scratching at the Supreme Court doors, blocking roads, attacking people on the right, chasing politicians or pundits through subways, out of restaurants, etc. — has only firmed my stance on my beliefs.
Her lesson:
If you are ever a victim of sexual harassment or assault, speak up when it happens.
— Nicole MacKinnon, Columbus, Ohio
Image
Maureen Blackwood is a mother of three who says she is concerned about health care. She lives in Richmond, Va.
I’m devastated. MAGA means going back to the ’50s when women and minorities are sidelined and punished and minimized at every turn.
Her lesson:
To my husband and son, I have said that I’m insulted and angry that so many believe that all men commit sexual assault and it’s just a part of growing up. To my daughters I say that the world is not fair. Women are not believed when reporting sexual assault.
— Maureen Blackwood, Richmond, Va.
On Fairness
Image
Margaret Johnson, a business owner, lives in Texas.
I am pleased that basic human rights such as “innocent until proven guilty,” “burden of proof is on the accuser,” the need for “evidence,” etc., have not been removed from our society.
Her lesson:
If I were advising a son, I would tell him to avoid like the plague any woman who identifies with people who will do literally anything for power, because she cannot be trusted to treat you with fairness and honesty.
If I were advising a daughter, I would tell her not to be like them. Don’t play the victim. Don’t lie for attention and money and power. Be fair-minded and honest and decent.
— Margaret Johnson, Texas
Image
Victoria Church lives in Connecticut and works as a lawyer.
Kavanaugh’s hearings were not a criminal trial. There was no requirement that the allegations be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The hearings were a job interview for one of the most respected positions in the United States.
There is clearly doubt and disagreement about what happened all those years ago. For me, that should have been enough for more senators to vote no.
Her lesson:
Everyone should learn a lot more about the structure of the government, what standards of proof are and when they apply.
— Victoria Church, Connecticut
Image
Meredith Fiori is a psychotherapist who studied at Palo Alto University. She lives in Palo Alto, Calif.
I will be voting Republican now. I don’t want this crap happening in this country ever again.
Her lesson:
Due process has protected all Americans for decades — the days of being publicly lynched for unsubstantiated claims or assaults are over! Thank God.
— Meredith Fiori, Palo Alto, Calif.
Image
Yvette Varela is a single mother of two boys who lives in Arizona.
This isn’t about men versus women. It’s about right and wrong. If women truly want equal rights, stop making everything about gender. What happened to not judging someone by their race, creed, gender, etc.? I’m a Latina and that has never kept me from achieving anything.
Her lesson:
To my sons: Always do what is good, right and be kind. Oh, and start a calendar journal. You never know when that will come in handy.
— Yvette Varela, Arizona
Image
Tanya Couer is a mother of three who lives in Waterford, Mich.
I honestly feel as though the left has used this woman as a political pawn. If any of them truly cared, Juanita Broaddrick [a woman who accused President Bill Clinton of sexual assaulting her in 1978] would have her day in court, too.
Her lesson:
Justice, apparently, only happens for some people based on their political affiliation.
I have begged my son to take necessary precautions in the future as a result of this case. While I wish I were joking, I’ve implored my son to “get it in writing” before entering into any kind of relationship.
— Tanya Coeur, Waterford, Mich.
On Personal Accountability
Image
Sheila Coleman Castells, a nonprofit consultant with a son in college, lives in Eglon, W.Va.
I think if more women were senators and would have been able to vote, it would have been clear that this has happened to so many women, and that Dr. Ford would never have outed herself were this not true.
Her lesson:
I have a 20-year-old junior in college. I have taught him to never conduct yourself in ways that would come back to haunt you because of your despicable behavior. Do not overdrink or smoke. Treat women honorably, be kind and follow the law.
But my son is African-American, and he is even more susceptible to judgments on his behavior and unfair consequences that young white men like Kavanaugh would never have suffered.
If a young black man had been the type of young man that Kavanaugh was, never once could he ever dream of being sworn onto the Supreme Court. Never.
— Sheila Coleman Castells, Eglon, W.Va.
Image
Jamie Ballenger, 69, is a preschool teacher and devout Catholic who raised four sons as a single mother.
It is not so much that I leaned toward her, as I leaned away from him. He seemed to me very much as one who is inclined toward a binge, a binger.
Her lesson:
I have four sons, and they are all grown. I was very outraged (to their embarrassment) whenever I found out they were at parties where drinking and drugs were in abundance.
No one is able to be responsible for their safety or that of others when one is stupid drunk. And you are still responsible for your actions afterward, even if you can’t remember what happened.
— Jamie Ballenger, Charlottesville, Va.
On Telling the Truth
Image
Renee Tate is a special education teacher who lives in Arkansas.
Senator Collins is a woman, and she looked at the facts and voted her conscience and didn’t let her emotions or party dictate her vote. THAT is the kind of PERSON we need in Congress. I don’t care what their gender is.
Women who make up false allegations against good men will ruin the credibility of women who actually are assaulted.
Her lesson:
Tell the truth. Always. And don’t party until you’re an adult.
— Renee Tate, Arkansas
Image
Julia Specht is a writer who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
I do think that it’s vitally important to have more women in public office, because our government should be representative of the people in this country. That means fewer 50+-year-old white men and more young people, people of color and women. We deserve a government that looks like we do.
But I don’t think that women are inherently less likely to make selfish choices, so I don’t know that more Republican female senators would have made any difference at all.
Her lesson:
Just because people don’t believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She was incredibly brave, and history will ultimately see her as a hero.
— Julia Specht, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Image
Monique Dorsey is a high school social studies teacher and a libertarian who lives in Connecticut.
I will need to guard and protect the males in my family from false attacks.
Her lesson:
My daughter will learn to have respect for the rule of law and to not falsely accuse someone of deeds. My son will learn to respect women but to also watch his back because it could bite him in the end.
— Monique Dorsey, Connecticut
On Good Citizenship
Image
Melissa Spencer is a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles with three sons.
If Kavanaugh had just admitted he drank too much and that he doesn’t remember, but if he did something, he is sorry, I would feel so differently about the whole thing.
Her lesson:
The first is to vote and that every vote counts. The second is that everyone makes mistakes in their youth, and it is important to be honest about your mistakes and own them. If you wrong someone, apologize — it will help you AND them. If you behave badly, own it and vow never to do it again.
— Melissa Spencer, Los Angeles
Image
Jennifer Turpin is a hospice nurse, a rape survivor and a single mother of two who lives in South Carolina.
Roe v. Wade will not be overturned. It is the law of the land. Too many liberals are thinking with their emotions and not the rational parts of their brains, and this is causing them to act as if they are irrational teenagers.
Trump, Kavanaugh — these men are not going to take away women’s rights. In fact, if people would take a minute to look at the evidence, they would find much to the contrary.
Her lesson:
It’s important to stand your ground and fight for everything on which this country was founded.
— Jennifer Turpin, South Carolina
Image
Sadaf Jaffer is a scholar of South Asian studies who does research at Princeton University. She serves on the Montgomery Township Committee in New Jersey.
I was elected to local office last year. I always tell friends who are passionate about politics that they should consider running themselves. It is extremely important to have more women in office, especially Democratic women. We also need more women to believe they are worthy of running for office.
Her lesson:
Downtrodden people have overcome far worse adversity than we are facing now. Never lose hope and always believe in the power of collective action to make a difference in the world. The human spirit is indomitable.
— Sadaf Jaffer, Montgomery Township, N.J.
Image
Lisa Sharon Harper is a faith leader, a writer and an organizer. She lives in Washington, D.C.
A woman doesn’t forget the face of the man who attempts to pull her clothes off.
She also had a previous relationship to him. This wasn’t a stranger. She knew him. She had context for him. She would have known him at the party. With him on top of her, all the context that came before would have been racing through her mind to try to understand how this happened. When she said she was 100 percent certain, I believed her.
Her lesson:
Vote. Our current president is in office because he won about 70,000 more votes in three key swing states. Many of the senators who voted “Yes” on Kavanaugh won their seats in midterm elections. The lesson is this: Vote!
— Lisa Sharon Harper, Washington, D.C.
A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.
Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.
Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/reader-center/women-kavanaugh-confirmation.html |
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded., in 2018-10-09 21:40:29
0 notes
Text
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded.
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded. http://www.nature-business.com/nature-we-asked-women-what-the-kavanaugh-vote-means-for-the-next-generation-40000-responded/
Nature
Women across the political divide tell us what they hope the next generation will learn from Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh’s confirmation battle.
Image
After the Senate’s confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court on Saturday, we asked women across the country to tell us how they were reacting.
We heard from 40,000 people.
Many of the women — lawyers, teachers, home-schoolers, military spouses — expressed anger and bitterness over the nomination fight and those on the other side of the political divide. They also told us what lessons from this confirmation they will pass down to the next generation.
Here is a selection of their responses, edited and condensed for clarity. Please use the comments to tell us how you viewed this moment.
On Speaking Up
Image
Lisa Baracker is a doctor, mother, wife and former Catholic turned agnostic Jew who lives in California.CreditLuigi Pasquini
We must break the patriarchy now!
We asked readers: If you were to pass down one lesson to your son or daughter from the Kavanaugh nomination and hearings, what would it be?
I will tell her AND my sons to look closely at Dr. Ford and how strong she was under fire. We must emulate her strength in our daily lives. Every. Single. Day. I want my children to know that they never have to wait 30 years to tell me if something bad happens to them, because I will believe them the minute they tell me — and I will fight for justice for them.
I want my children to know that if they ever act the way Kavanaugh did, either in high school or for a job interview, that I will not be on their side. I will discipline them for vile behavior with everything in my power.
— Dr. Lisa Baracker, California
Image
Nicole MacKinnon is a Catholic stay-at-home mother of two young daughters. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.
Watching the childish reactions of liberals — pounding and scratching at the Supreme Court doors, blocking roads, attacking people on the right, chasing politicians or pundits through subways, out of restaurants, etc. — has only firmed my stance on my beliefs.
Her lesson:
If you are ever a victim of sexual harassment or assault, speak up when it happens.
— Nicole MacKinnon, Columbus, Ohio
Image
Maureen Blackwood is a mother of three who says she is concerned about health care. She lives in Richmond, Va.
I’m devastated. MAGA means going back to the ’50s when women and minorities are sidelined and punished and minimized at every turn.
Her lesson:
To my husband and son, I have said that I’m insulted and angry that so many believe that all men commit sexual assault and it’s just a part of growing up. To my daughters I say that the world is not fair. Women are not believed when reporting sexual assault.
— Maureen Blackwood, Richmond, Va.
On Fairness
Image
Margaret Johnson, a business owner, lives in Texas.
I am pleased that basic human rights such as “innocent until proven guilty,” “burden of proof is on the accuser,” the need for “evidence,” etc., have not been removed from our society.
Her lesson:
If I were advising a son, I would tell him to avoid like the plague any woman who identifies with people who will do literally anything for power, because she cannot be trusted to treat you with fairness and honesty.
If I were advising a daughter, I would tell her not to be like them. Don’t play the victim. Don’t lie for attention and money and power. Be fair-minded and honest and decent.
— Margaret Johnson, Texas
Image
Victoria Church lives in Connecticut and works as a lawyer.
Kavanaugh’s hearings were not a criminal trial. There was no requirement that the allegations be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. The hearings were a job interview for one of the most respected positions in the United States.
There is clearly doubt and disagreement about what happened all those years ago. For me, that should have been enough for more senators to vote no.
Her lesson:
Everyone should learn a lot more about the structure of the government, what standards of proof are and when they apply.
— Victoria Church, Connecticut
Image
Meredith Fiori is a psychotherapist who studied at Palo Alto University. She lives in Palo Alto, Calif.
I will be voting Republican now. I don’t want this crap happening in this country ever again.
Her lesson:
Due process has protected all Americans for decades — the days of being publicly lynched for unsubstantiated claims or assaults are over! Thank God.
— Meredith Fiori, Palo Alto, Calif.
Image
Yvette Varela is a single mother of two boys who lives in Arizona.
This isn’t about men versus women. It’s about right and wrong. If women truly want equal rights, stop making everything about gender. What happened to not judging someone by their race, creed, gender, etc.? I’m a Latina and that has never kept me from achieving anything.
Her lesson:
To my sons: Always do what is good, right and be kind. Oh, and start a calendar journal. You never know when that will come in handy.
— Yvette Varela, Arizona
Image
Tanya Couer is a mother of three who lives in Waterford, Mich.
I honestly feel as though the left has used this woman as a political pawn. If any of them truly cared, Juanita Broaddrick [a woman who accused President Bill Clinton of sexual assaulting her in 1978] would have her day in court, too.
Her lesson:
Justice, apparently, only happens for some people based on their political affiliation.
I have begged my son to take necessary precautions in the future as a result of this case. While I wish I were joking, I’ve implored my son to “get it in writing” before entering into any kind of relationship.
— Tanya Coeur, Waterford, Mich.
On Personal Accountability
Image
Sheila Coleman Castells, a nonprofit consultant with a son in college, lives in Eglon, W.Va.
I think if more women were senators and would have been able to vote, it would have been clear that this has happened to so many women, and that Dr. Ford would never have outed herself were this not true.
Her lesson:
I have a 20-year-old junior in college. I have taught him to never conduct yourself in ways that would come back to haunt you because of your despicable behavior. Do not overdrink or smoke. Treat women honorably, be kind and follow the law.
But my son is African-American, and he is even more susceptible to judgments on his behavior and unfair consequences that young white men like Kavanaugh would never have suffered.
If a young black man had been the type of young man that Kavanaugh was, never once could he ever dream of being sworn onto the Supreme Court. Never.
— Sheila Coleman Castells, Eglon, W.Va.
Image
Jamie Ballenger, 69, is a preschool teacher and devout Catholic who raised four sons as a single mother.
It is not so much that I leaned toward her, as I leaned away from him. He seemed to me very much as one who is inclined toward a binge, a binger.
Her lesson:
I have four sons, and they are all grown. I was very outraged (to their embarrassment) whenever I found out they were at parties where drinking and drugs were in abundance.
No one is able to be responsible for their safety or that of others when one is stupid drunk. And you are still responsible for your actions afterward, even if you can’t remember what happened.
— Jamie Ballenger, Charlottesville, Va.
On Telling the Truth
Image
Renee Tate is a special education teacher who lives in Arkansas.
Senator Collins is a woman, and she looked at the facts and voted her conscience and didn’t let her emotions or party dictate her vote. THAT is the kind of PERSON we need in Congress. I don’t care what their gender is.
Women who make up false allegations against good men will ruin the credibility of women who actually are assaulted.
Her lesson:
Tell the truth. Always. And don’t party until you’re an adult.
— Renee Tate, Arkansas
Image
Julia Specht is a writer who lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
I do think that it’s vitally important to have more women in public office, because our government should be representative of the people in this country. That means fewer 50+-year-old white men and more young people, people of color and women. We deserve a government that looks like we do.
But I don’t think that women are inherently less likely to make selfish choices, so I don’t know that more Republican female senators would have made any difference at all.
Her lesson:
Just because people don’t believe Dr. Ford doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She was incredibly brave, and history will ultimately see her as a hero.
— Julia Specht, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Image
Monique Dorsey is a high school social studies teacher and a libertarian who lives in Connecticut.
I will need to guard and protect the males in my family from false attacks.
Her lesson:
My daughter will learn to have respect for the rule of law and to not falsely accuse someone of deeds. My son will learn to respect women but to also watch his back because it could bite him in the end.
— Monique Dorsey, Connecticut
On Good Citizenship
Image
Melissa Spencer is a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles with three sons.
If Kavanaugh had just admitted he drank too much and that he doesn’t remember, but if he did something, he is sorry, I would feel so differently about the whole thing.
Her lesson:
The first is to vote and that every vote counts. The second is that everyone makes mistakes in their youth, and it is important to be honest about your mistakes and own them. If you wrong someone, apologize — it will help you AND them. If you behave badly, own it and vow never to do it again.
— Melissa Spencer, Los Angeles
Image
Jennifer Turpin is a hospice nurse, a rape survivor and a single mother of two who lives in South Carolina.
Roe v. Wade will not be overturned. It is the law of the land. Too many liberals are thinking with their emotions and not the rational parts of their brains, and this is causing them to act as if they are irrational teenagers.
Trump, Kavanaugh — these men are not going to take away women’s rights. In fact, if people would take a minute to look at the evidence, they would find much to the contrary.
Her lesson:
It’s important to stand your ground and fight for everything on which this country was founded.
— Jennifer Turpin, South Carolina
Image
Sadaf Jaffer is a scholar of South Asian studies who does research at Princeton University. She serves on the Montgomery Township Committee in New Jersey.
I was elected to local office last year. I always tell friends who are passionate about politics that they should consider running themselves. It is extremely important to have more women in office, especially Democratic women. We also need more women to believe they are worthy of running for office.
Her lesson:
Downtrodden people have overcome far worse adversity than we are facing now. Never lose hope and always believe in the power of collective action to make a difference in the world. The human spirit is indomitable.
— Sadaf Jaffer, Montgomery Township, N.J.
Image
Lisa Sharon Harper is a faith leader, a writer and an organizer. She lives in Washington, D.C.
A woman doesn’t forget the face of the man who attempts to pull her clothes off.
She also had a previous relationship to him. This wasn’t a stranger. She knew him. She had context for him. She would have known him at the party. With him on top of her, all the context that came before would have been racing through her mind to try to understand how this happened. When she said she was 100 percent certain, I believed her.
Her lesson:
Vote. Our current president is in office because he won about 70,000 more votes in three key swing states. Many of the senators who voted “Yes” on Kavanaugh won their seats in midterm elections. The lesson is this: Vote!
— Lisa Sharon Harper, Washington, D.C.
A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.
Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.
Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/09/reader-center/women-kavanaugh-confirmation.html |
Nature We Asked Women What the Kavanaugh Vote Means for the Next Generation. 40,000 Responded., in 2018-10-09 21:40:29
0 notes
Text
Everything that follows is true.[…] Not even the names have been changed. Why bother? To protect the innocent? There were no innocent.
– Martin Amis, The Pregnant Widow (2010)
“It is necessary to begin with a declaration.”
Is it really? Is anyone deceived when an anti-semitic rant starts with the words “I love Jews”?
“I am a feminist.”
Or maybe not. It is pointless to call yourself a feminist if your definition of the term differs markedly from everyone else’s. Why claim the label if you don’t belong to any feminist tribes and don’t consider feminist projects, in the grand scheme of things, especially important (If, for instance, you think of them as subsets of more fundamental problems that ought to be directly addressed instead)?
“Men and women ought to have equal rights”
Rather different from believing men and women are functionally indistinguishable or that gender parity in all walks of life is a goal worth shooting for. Though many gender differences are amplified by socialisation, most have, at their core, a biological residuum. In a perfectly equitable world in which all persons begin with equal opportunities, gender disparities in occupational (and other social) outcomes will inevitably emerge.
“I’m far from comfortable with what passes for feminist rhetoric these days.”
Far from comfortable with that tiny sliver of feminist rhetoric to which I have had the misfortune to be exposed.
“When evaluating public accusations – against, for instance, celebrities accused of bad behaviour – we are urged to 'believe women.'”
Who are we? Who does this urging? Might we (that pesky pronoun again!) be eavesdropping on a conversation not meant for us? Might this recommendation, in context, be more nuanced than it appears out of it?
“One would like to read this as an attempt to correct past errors.”
Yes. “Let us be unjust now to make up for injustices in the past. It evens out in the end.”
“We ought not to silence marginal voices.”
Not before we have established the degree to which they deserve their marginality. There is no way we could re-engineer the world to preclude the emergence of inner and outer circles, higher and lower rungs. Human life is inherently hierarchical. What we ought to seek is not the absence of social stratification but a reorganisation of society along more rational lines. We want communities in which one is not condemned to marginality by accidents of birth or irrelevant factors such as race, gender or physical disability.
“We are apparently expected to accept women’s testimonies by default when they accuse men of sexual impropriety.”
When it comes to politics, taxation, customer service, medical malpractice and car insurance, Twitter feminists admit women can be as dishonest, self-interested and self-destructive as men. But when it comes to sex, they are paragons of virtue who have no reason to lie.
“Twitter feminists”
To use “feminist” as a pejorative would be to make common cause with people I despise (MRAs, PUAs, incels etc). “Twitter feminists,” on the other hand, may be dismissed with impunity. (Is it not an evocative phrase? Imagine vast flocks of bird-brained know-nothings chattering endlessly.)
“When the target is a male celebrity and his accuser is a distressed woman”
Works best if the accuser is white. Distress in black people--any sort of emotional expression, in fact--is read as aggression. We cry aggressively. We laugh aggressively. We sit aggressively. We dance aggressively. We aggressively ask former work colleagues to stop stalking us. Look around you. There is, no doubt, a black person nearby, aggressively minding her own business.
“If there are two parties to a suit, both deserve a fair hearing, regardless of gender.”
Also, if penalties are severe and their effects irreversible, err on the side of caution. Wrongly condemning the innocent is worse than failing to convict the guilty.
But softly . . . we aren't exactly operating from behind a Rawlsian veil of ignorance, are we? In cases of sexual assault men are more likely to be accused and women are more likely to be accusers. Are any of us capable of being entirely objective about this?
“An accusation is not proof of guilt.”
Conflict is not abuse. Distress isn’t proof of victimhood.
“We all understand this when such allegations are made against us or people we love”
But I repeat myself.
“The fact that men like X frequently commit crimes like Y against women like Z is not proof that X has transgressed against Z.”
That said, background probabilities are important, particularly, if there were any way of accurately determining it, the probability that accusations made by women like Z against men like X are false.
“No rational person could defend Bill Cosby or Roman Polanski”
Though we should defend their right to fair trials just as strenuously as we defend their victims’ right to seek justice. And strictly speaking that should read “No moral person …” or “There are few rational grounds for believing in Cosby’s innocence and fewer moral grounds for trying …” (Polanski's guilt has never been in doubt.)
The paths of reason and goodness do not necessarily coincide. If I am emotionally or financially invested in a wrongdoer's continued success, it may be entirely rational to publicly defend them.
“The ultimate inscrutability of human motivation and the malleability of memory.”
Eyewitness testimony is notoriously unreliable. It's easy to implant false memories in children.
Emmett Till, etc.
There are two major problems facing those of us who would like to compare the worst excesses of the #MeToo movement to the sort of mob violence unleashed during lynchings in the American South. First, it’s a tired analogy, infamously used seventeen years ago by Clarence Thomas when Anita Hill accused him of sexual assault. It sounded disingenuous then and it sounds even worse now.
It’s also difficult to point out innocent men who have been unjustly condemned. Where are the broken bodies? Whose lives have been needlessly ruined? Almost without exception, those around whom these allegations swirl have behaved badly. Maybe not, in all cases, as badly as their accusers would have us believe, but almost always badly enough. Jobs have been lost, endorsements have been withdrawn, but no one, as far as I’m aware, has been impoverished or made bankrupt.
So maybe while we examine our own motives, privilege rationality over emotion and avoid “participating in cycles of premature condemnation and exoneration,” we should also think twice about make dubious historical analogies.
0 notes