#but we know for a fact that apprentice Nort had at least a hand in it if not being the sole cause. did Maleficent even do anything

[nadziejastar]

The Meaning of Axel’s Upside-Down Tears

Wait, don’t tell me—

Axel checked his reflection in the glass again and looked for the marks. They were gone. The marks under his eyes were missing.

“We’re people again.”

Lea knew he was human again when he realized that the marks under his eyes were gone. They were the symbol of his identity as a Nobody. Since Saïx mentioned them several times in KH3, I’m sure the entire backstory of how he got them was supposed to be very important to their relationship. Lea has the tear marks in his concept art for BBS, and Isa has yellow eyes and pointed ears. I think this was because we were supposed to see the full backstory of how Isa got Norted and how Lea got his tear marks.

Day 356: Unforeseen Events

Author: Saïx

Our plans never accounted for the possibility of both Xion and Roxas leaving. How did this come to pass? When did Roxas grow strong enough to outmuscle me? What were you really after, Lea? We joined the Organization at the same time, and formulated our plan. At this point, it’s just an idle fantasy. Everything changed. You, and me.

This post will be my opinion about Axel’s upside-down tears and what they truly represent. On the day Axel vowed to bring Xion back, Saïx said in his report that he couldn’t understand what Lea was after anymore. They joined the organization at the same time and formulated their plan.

“You both think you can do whatever you want!” He summoned his flame-wreathed chakrams to his hands. “Well, I’m sick of it. Go on, you just keep running. But I’ll always be there to bring you back!”

It was a plea, a cry, a bitter lament, and a vow.

I think this plan was the origin of the tear marks. The upside-down tears represented a plea, a cry, a bitter lament, and a vow.

Roxas was starting to resent the Organization because of Xion. It was an uncomfortable idea, but some of the blame lay with Axel, and he was getting worried that Roxas’s doubts might include him as well.

Axel walked on. He wanted to find Xion before Roxas did—and that was why he had them split up. If he could find her first, maybe he could defuse some of the tension. But how would everyone be satisfied without getting hurt? How could he make that happen? He doubted it was even possible. That didn’t mean he was about to give up, though. He walked on.

When Saïx first ordered Xion to be destroyed, Axel told Roxas to trust him and that he’d think of something clever to fix everything. He really had no idea how to do that, though.

Nomura: It is a fact that Saïx and Axel probably wanted to take over the Organization, however they didn’t understand what they were going to do or how to do it. As for Xemnas, he knew about this betrayal, but never brought it up. Generally, one’s conduct was for the sake of their purpose.

I think Lea’s promise to Isa was probably the same. He vowed to bring him home, but he would need to overthrow the organization in order to do that. And he had no idea how he was going to accomplish that. 

Day 119: Hearts and Emotion

Author: Xaldin

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

Teardrop tattoos are usually associated with prison culture in real life. They often mean that the wearer has killed someone. Others may get such a tattoo to represent sorrow or loss, such as when a loved one is murdered or imprisoned.

Facing Sora like this reminded him of Roxas, which made him uneasy. The memory of a feeling welled up within, something that had never come over him when he confronted Marluxia or Larxene or Vexen.

Since I became a Nobody, I haven’t cared like this about anyone who isn’t connected to memories of my past.

What was happening? Why was Roxas so important to him? Why was Sora? So long as he understood what the stakes were, he should have no reason to recoil from terminating someone. After all, he was a Nobody with no heart. And yet…he didn’t want to do this.

Axel is an assassin, and I think that his teardrops have both of those meanings. Xaldin said that the apprentices became Nobodies to avoid the shackles of emotion. I think Lea chose to join the organization for that exact same reason, though his motivations were entirely different from the apprentices. 

Saïx: There’s something I��ve meant to ask.

Xemnas: About Axel? The poor fool. How long will he keep chasing the illusion of friendship, when he himself lacks emotion? Trying so hard to retrieve what he has lost, when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity.

I don’t think Axel was as much of a hostage of the organization as Saïx was. He felt tempted to leave all the time whenever he thought about how much Saïx had changed. He wasn’t afraid to let Naminé escape or interfere when Roxas and Xion were going to destroy each other. Xemnas was never very harsh with Axel when he would meddle. I think he could have escaped if he really wanted to. Xemnas had a greater purpose for Saïx, Roxas and Xion to be there.

“Did you take care of Axel?” Xigbar asked.

“Most likely,” Saïx replied. Technically, he hadn’t seen Axel’s end. But it was hard to imagine that he had survived.

“Are you certain he’s gone?” Xaldin demanded. “He’ll be back to cause more trouble if you didn’t eliminate him.”

Xemnas put a stop to the interrogation. “Leave Axel for the time being.”

“What about the Keyblade wielder?” Saïx asked Demyx, hoping to turn the conversation away from himself.

But he didn’t act like he minded very much when Axel left. As long as he didn’t come back and cause problems, Xemnas couldn’t have cared less what he did. 

Day 71: The Traitors' End

Author: Xigbar

Saïx had a hand in what went down at Castle Oblivion—well, more like a whole arm. Which means Axel was in on it as well. It's a fact that Xemnas ordered Axel to take out the traitors, orders which went through Saïx. No specific names were given, but naturally Xemnas knew who the turncoats were right from the get-go.

Xigbar and Xaldin encouraged Saïx to eliminate Axel apparently for their own personal reasons. On Day 71, Xigbar wrote in his report that he knew Saïx and Axel were responsible for half of their members getting wiped out. 

“Yeah, well, about those unplanned terminations…” Xigbar kept a level stare trained on him. “I have to wonder if this involves you-know-who.”

“Whether or not that is true, we have at least two Keyblades at our disposal,” said Xemnas. “Which means the plan is proceeding smoothly. There is no need to alter it simply because of a decrease in numbers.”

With that, he turned back to his documents and resumed scribbling. Xigbar only shrugged and disappeared from the room.

In the novel, he brings the issue up with Xemnas on Day 71. But Xemnas didn’t care. This was a personal issue Xigbar had. Xemnas said Axel deserved nothing more than PITY when he left. It didn’t sound like he was even interested in seeking him out to punish him. That’s how pathetic Xemnas found him.

“Axel this, Axel that… Sounds like you’re thick as thieves.” Xigbar restlessly jiggled his crossed legs. “Makes me wonder what you two are up to.”

“I might wonder the same about you,” Saïx retorted, and the tension was so thick it was hard to breathe.

“We have but one objective,” said Xemnas. “Be sure to keep that in mind.”

Personally, I think Xigbar and Xaldin were envious of Axel’s devotion to Saïx. They took satisfaction in Saïx hunting Axel down as a traitor because they believed that love is a weakness and it eventually withers and dies. But Xemnas seemed to view Axel as nothing but a pitiful kid who devoted his whole life to a lost cause. He knew that from the very beginning, Axel was only there for only one reason---to get his best friend back.

“Yeah, well, now I’m betraying them.”

Xemnas began chuckling at Axel’s overconfident declaration. “Heh-heh… Heh-heh-heh…”

“Xemnas…?” Xigbar frowned nervously. But he didn’t stop laughing. Xigbar and Saïx looked at each other.

“Very well.” Finally, Xemnas stifled his laughter, though he still sounded intensely amused. “You’re reinstated into the organization.”

In the novel, Axel actually went back to the organization when he was planning to rescue Kairi, and Xemnas saw right through his act. He found it so hilarious he was laughing hysterically and just said okay. Xigbar and Saïx just looked at each other, obviously creeped out. To Xemnas, Axel was just a worthless pawn that had been already been knocked off the board. He wasn’t the least bit threatened by him. Lea didn’t even have his own chess piece on Xehanort’s board in KH3. That’s how insignificant of a player he was.

Xigbar: The house is looking pretty empty, huh? I thought I'd get a little enjoyment watching Axel throw one last tantrum, but he went a lot quieter than I thought.

Xehanort paid so little attention to him, it might be why Lea was able to catch him off guard to rescue Sora in KH3D. Xigbar said he wasn’t supposed to be there, so they weren’t expecting him. Lea was simply not on Xehanort’s radar. In my view, Lea joined the organization by choice. It’s not like he wanted to join or anything. But he wasn’t forced into it. Xehanort didn’t need him. He volunteered to join. And he stayed of his own free will. I think this is why he wouldn’t take off the black coat in KH3. He refused to leave the organization until he kept his promise to bring Isa back.

The blue-haired man had been the very first to join the organization after the founding members. He should have been special. The way number 13—Roxas, wielder of the Keyblade—was special. Axel was not. And yet…

Isa was a different story. Saïx thought he should have been special like Roxas was, and he said Axel was not special. I think this was referring to the fact that Isa was Subject X, the unique specimen who Xehanort wanted as his vessel.

The Beast had a ferociously strong heart—its strength of will alone had taken him to Hollow Bastion to save one of the princesses, Belle.

“Looks strong,” Axel remarked from behind them.

“Yeah. He is,” Riku said, sinking into thought. His heart is even stronger than his body. It’s exactly the kind of heart the organization wants…

“But someone that strong won’t just do whatever the organization says,” Naminé murmured.

“Well, this is their chance to show how persuasive they can be,” Axel said with a bitter smirk.

I think Isa was planning to end his life because he knew he was going to be forced to lose his heart and join the organization. He couldn’t defy his fate, since he was branded with the Recusant’s Sigil. 

“Why would caring about something be a weakness?” Xion asked, baffled.

Roxas lowered his head. “I don’t know. I didn’t get it, either.”

I’m not the only one surrounded by things I can’t understand, Xion thought. Axel would explain it, though…

Caring about Lea was his weakness. Xehanort probably threatened to harm Lea if Isa didn’t do what he said. Isa was trying to protect Lea. And that’s why Axel always felt such loyalty to Saïx and why it was so hard to reconcile his memories of the past with Saïx’s personality. 

“But this is for everyone’s sake.”

Everyone…? Who do you mean by everyone? Us? Or others?

“Don’t say selfish crap like that. Every last one of…”

“This is for the best,” Xion said.

I hate that sort of thing. There’s no such this as ‘this is for the best’. There’s, I want to, and I don’t want to, that’s all. I learned that in my human time.

Isa didn’t want to become an emotionless slave doing Xehanort’s dirty work for the rest of his life, and he didn’t want Lea to be used as a bargaining chip, either. He thought dying was truly the best thing he could do for everyone. That way, he wouldn’t become a puppet, and Lea would be free. That was his final decision. Lea was crying that day. He was totally heartbroken, but also angry.

Kairi looked up at him then. “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”

“I’m not,” Axel replied, completely serious. “But not really a good guy, either.”

He hated that his best friend had no choice but to sacrifice himself to do what was “right”. Lea couldn’t accept that outcome. It wasn’t fair or just that Isa was going to taken from him just because it was the most moral thing to do. He wouldn’t let Isa die, no matter what. So, he decided to join the organization along with him. He promised that he’d bring him home, by whatever means necessary.

In order for Sora—no, for Roxas to live, and also for us to accomplish our own goal, Zexion is in the way. And if it’s for the sake of our own goal, we already decided what to do, that time.

Their plan was to take over the organization together, so Isa could finally be free. Lea didn’t know how they were gonna take over, but he’d figure something out. He agreed to do whatever icky jobs Xehanort wanted him to do and he became the organization’s ruthless assassin.

I did it with the best of intentions, that’s all. For Roxas’s sake, for Xion’s sake, for the Organisation’s sake—and for Isa’s sake. But more than anything, for my own sake.

He wanted to do all the dirty work because he knew that Isa morally objected to it. This might be why Lea was allowed to join the organization, even though Xemnas knew all along that he was planning to betray him. If Lea joined, Isa would be more compliant and easier to control. Saïx wouldn’t go berserk or try to commit suicide. Having Axel around was convenient.

“Everything is back to normal. Of course this is for the best, isn’t it?”

The reason I’m unable to answer Saïx is probably because I depend on him, thought Axel.

“Xemnas has also been irritated at the recent changes in plan. Everything has to go back to normal, for the sake of our goal too… Lea.”

Axel’s motivations were clear, so his actions were predictable. Xemnas trusted him to take care of the traitors in Castle Oblivion. He was quite good at his job. He always merciless in carrying out his orders. Xemnas didn’t need him around, but he never viewed him as a threat, either. So, he was a useful asset despite his disloyalty.

I’ll bring them back no matter how many times it takes. No matter how many times. For my own sake, for your sakes. No matter how strong Xion tries to make her power, I don’t think I’ll lose. Because I’m strong.

When Lea formed his plan, he didn’t care about morality. He gave up caring about what was right or wrong or being a good person. All he cared about was getting what he wanted, which was Isa. My theory is that the upside-down tears represent Lea’s decision to become a Nobody and embracing it. He would willingly sacrifice his heart, his emotions, and and his morality, for Isa’s sake.

I use the Organization for myself. That hasn’t changed from the start. All that’s changed is for whose sake I do it for. Maybe he’d call it being a traitor. But the world changes.

When Axel kidnapped Kairi, the manga did a close up on his tear mark when she asked what he wanted her help with. I definitely think that was a hint about the meaning of the tear marks. He told Kairi he needed help getting his best friend back and he had very bad intentions for how she was going to “help” him. He knew it was wrong, but he was going to do it anyways.

“You’re letting yourself get too attached to them.” 

“Right, sir, of course, sir.” Saïx spun on his heels. That was all he wanted to say to me? 

But just as Saïx started walking away, he caught a barely audible murmur—“You’ve changed.” 

He listened to Saïx’s receding footsteps, and his gaze dropped to his own feet. “You sure I’m the one who changed?” he said under his breath.

Axel was always prepared to do whatever it took to get Isa back. He lived that way for a very long time. He never doubted himself until he began to realize how much Isa had changed. 

If Xemnas’s plan remained unchanged, then so would his. Still, Saïx saw a potential wrench in the works—Axel and his patently obvious doubts. It might have been a mistake to let him get so close to Roxas and Xion. Saïx let out a rather human sigh and vanished from the room.

Then, his emotions started interfering. He began to feel empathy for people like Roxas, Xion, Sora and Kairi. He had a lot in common with them and could understand how they felt.

“There’s something I want to look into. So I figured I should probably ask you first.”

“Hmph. I’m sure you’ll look into whatever you want with or without my permission.”

The upside-down tears also meant Lea decided he was done crying like a helpless child. I think this exchange probably represented Lea and Isa’s relationship as humans rather well. It happened the day after Axel told Saïx to shut his mouth. Axel wanted to go to Castle Oblivion and asked Saïx for permission. Saïx knew he would just do whatever he wanted to, regardless of what he said.

Saïx stared at him hard. “Fine. You have permission to enter the lab. I’ll have an underling bring you the key.”

“Perfect. Glad that didn’t take too long. Now I can get to work.”

“Somehow, I doubt the scope of your investigation will be confined to work.” Saïx’s mouth curved into the approximate shape of a smile.

“…Guilty as charged,” Axel drawled. “How much do you wanna know?”

“Nothing. Do what you want.”

Taking those words at face value, Axel waved at him and promptly left. He wondered absentmindedly whether Saïx would have granted permission for something like this to any of the other members. Even now, did Saïx still trust him?

Saïx wasn’t born yesterday. He knew Axel wanted to know about Xion and would look for information about her behind his back. He called him out on this later. But he still gave him permission to go. He trusted that Axel had his best interests in mind and let him do whatever he wanted. Saïx trusted Axel, and he never wanted to betray that trust.

“Sounds like you’re the one who’s so interested in Castle Oblivion. Don't try and dress it up as a favor.” He stepped forward and past Saïx, out of his line of sight. “Let me guess… That chamber will tell you everything you want to know about Xemnas’s true agenda. Is that about the size of it?”

I think “the plan” Lea and Isa formulated was for them both to join the organization. Isa really didn’t want to join, so Lea promised to carry out whatever orders he didn’t want to do. Saïx was more than happy to give Axel orders to eliminate people. He wasn’t worried about him while he was at Castle Oblivion, but he had no problem using him like a tool and taking advantage if his loyalty and willingness to get his hands dirty. This is why Axel started to feel resentful. Saïx was always completely on board with the plan to take over the organization.

“Your friend’s… wishes…” Roxas had to ponder that.

So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?

But I definitely don’t think Isa was on board with the plan. I don’t think he ever wanted Lea to give up his heart. And he never would have asked for Lea to do all the dirty work, especially for his sake.

“I guess you can’t just jump in and do everything for them, even if you want to.”

Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…”

It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

But Lea didn’t care what Isa wanted and didn’t listen to him. He forcefully asserted his will over him and wouldn’t let him make his own decision.

“I’ll bring him back to our side. Let me—”

“That’s enough.” Saïx turned his head, giving Axel a sidelong look over his shoulder. “Traitor.” Axel scowled darkly.

“I’m going. You know, don’t you, that you won’t stop me except by force? And even if you tried, you would fail.” Saïx went on his way. Memories informed him that he hated this kind of thing.

It was as much for his own sake as it was for Isa’s sake. Lea wasn’t as self-sacrificing as Isa was. He was doing it for himself because he couldn’t bear to lose Isa. Lea probably forced Isa to join the organization, which might have been when Isa’s mind fragmented and he went to the Realm of Sleep. This might be another reason that Lea was allowed to join.  

“The true goal behind Xemnas—and Xehanort—forming the Organisation was to take all the empty husks that had been made to throw away their hearts, and use Kingdom Hearts to plant the same heart and mind into them,” Xigbar said from behind Sora, who turned to look at him.

Husks that had been made to throw away their hearts—in other words, they were going to plant another heart into those who couldn’t bear the pain…? Or, did they actually do that?

The one thing that caused Axel the most pain was realizing how much Isa changed. Well, Axel changed after losing his heart, too. He was ruthless and motivated only by self-interest. And I think this is what Isa was so afraid of. He didn’t want Lea to change from the kindhearted person who helped stray puppies. Isa couldn’t bear the pain of Lea sacrificing his heart and giving himself over to darkness, for his sake.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

Lea wished he and Isa could stay together forever, talking, laughing, and eating ice cream. That was all he wanted. It was that simple. 

I wanted us to stay together. All I wanted was to hold on to our happiness as a trio in the Organization. But I told myself to grow up and stop wishing for the impossible. Well, I’m done with that. That’s not the answer I want.

He refused to “grow up” and accept that it was impossible. He vowed he would bring Isa back, even if he had to drag him. In a way, he was like a kid throwing a tantrum.

“I’ll always be there to bring you back…,” Lea muttered with a grin as he panted. 

It was a wish—an oath, a promise. I’ll bring you back as many times as it takes. I’ll always be there. For my sake and for both of yours.

Lea didn’t respect Isa’s decision. Losing him was not what he wanted, and that was all that mattered. The marks under his eyes meant that he was taking matters into his own hands. He would never let go of his wish, so he wouldn’t need to cry anymore. 

“Well, we probably can’t be together forever,” Hayner said. “But isn’t that just part of growing up? What’s important isn’t how much we see one another. It’s how often we think about one another. Right?”

It’s why Saïx acted like the marks were something Lea “grew out of” in KH3. 

He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child. Naminé returned to her sketchbook.

“Say, Naminé… Are you still going to try to meet Kairi?” Her head snapped up at the unexpected question. Across from her, Axel met her gaze, grave and earnest.

“I have to help her,” she said with a sad smile.

He scowled. “Is that really the best thing?”

“The best thing…?” Naminé set her crayons down on the table, her gaze dropping as she thought for a moment, and then she smiled at him again. “It’s the right thing.”

In response, Axel only leaned back and rocked in the chair again. She took up her crayons. No one could know what was right or wrong.

They represented his attachment to a childish, impossible dream.

“…You’re sure this is for the best?”

Saïx finally turned his face to Axel at those words. “For you to say such a thing out loud…,” he said.

Such a thing—well, that was one way of referring to the buzzing doubt in his chest.

The teardrops represented Axel’s resolve. Saïx was absolutely right. Axel did change.

“Do you guys think we’ll always be together like this?” Pence said out of nowhere.

“I sure hope so,” Olette replied, as if she’d been wondering the same.

“Huh?” Hayner was mystified. “Where’d that come from?”

“Oh, um, you know… Just thinking out loud.” Pence bit into his ice cream bar.

When he first joined the organization, he vowed he would do whatever it took for him and Isa to stay together forever. Without a heart, he thought he would never have any doubt or inner conflict about what he needed to do to make this wish come true.

“We don’t have any place to run.” Xion shook her head.

Yes, we can, Roxas wanted to say. We’ll get away somehow.

But it wasn’t true.

“I know,” he mumbled. “I was just thinking out loud.”

He never expressed any kind of uncertainty about his actions, which is why Saïx was so surprised when he voiced his doubts over Xion. It wasn’t like Axel to question whether something was “for the best”. 

It shouldn’t make any difference to him or to the Organization whether Naminé lived or not. He would destroy anyone in his way.

The old Axel would destroy anything or anyone in his way. 

“You’ve lost sight of the light within the darkness. And it seems that you’ve forgotten that you forgot.”

“The light within the darkness…,” Sora murmured, as if it reminded him of something.

Axel seized on that. “You want me to give you a hint?”

I think Isa was probably Lea’s light within the darkness during the experiments. 

Yes, Axel was now truly flesh and blood, which meant that the idea of losing himself to the darkness frightened him. Still, he needed the power of darkness to open these corridors. Without it, he wouldn’t be able to travel from Radiant Garden to other worlds. The darkness in his heart gave him that power, and he had at least enough for this. Was any human truly free of darkness in their heart? Wasn’t that the nature of sadness and regret?

Lea could open dark corridors, even as a human. He admitted this was due to the darkness within his heart. He wasn’t reluctant to rely on the power of darkness. And he was a victim of experiments on the darkness of the heart, after all. Or at least, that is the backstory that makes the most sense for him.

After Riku’s devastating blow, Saïx got slowly to his feet. “Nothing less from the great Ansem—that’s what I should say, isn’t it? Or maybe—”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m protecting those islands!” Riku rushed into range, but this time the Claymore, Saïx’s sword, was there to block Soul Eater.

“How do you expect to protect anything when you’ve cloaked yourself in darkness? You sold your soul for power. Was it worth it?”

Isa was the reason Lea never fully gave in to the darkness. Even Saïx seemed disgusted with using the power of darkness to protect anything. This is probably due to Isa’s memories of the experiments.

Now then, how best to guide Terra into becoming his vessel? The fierce light in Terra’s heart also empowered the darkness within him. The stronger the light, the deeper the shadow, and that would be Terra’s path into the darkness.

Like Terra, maybe Isa’s powerful light was the reason he was such a unique subject who was targeted to become a vessel. 

Vexen let out a howl of anguish, though it was only a moment before flames consumed him and he vanished entirely. Nobodies, it seemed, left nothing behind when they were snuffed out.

“What are you—? What are you people?!” Sora demanded.

“Hmm. Not sure. I wonder about that myself.” With that, Axel disappeared himself.

I think that, without Isa around, Axel wandered down a very dark path. He held a lot of hatred inside of him and the tear marks were a symbol of that. The reason Axel changed is because Saïx changed. That gave him the opportunity to find the right path on his own, becoming a Guardian of Light. It was necessary character development for him. He needed to rediscover who he really was.

“…You planning to get in the way again?” said Saïx.

Axel kept his eyes averted. “In the way of what? Of who?” he asked.

“In the way of us. I trust you.”

Axel cracked a dry smile. “You say that exactly like you would if you had a heart.”

“My memories of the time I did have one are making it so, that’s all. If you get in the way any further, though, the memories I have since becoming a Nobody will overwrite them.”

“…That sounds like a threat.”

“It’s quite similar. Think good and hard about it,” Saïx said in closing, and walked away. Axel stood there, rooted to the spot.

On the morning Saïx gave Roxas the mission in Halloween Town, he and Xion were supposed to fight until one of them destroyed the other. Saïx told Axel he trusted him, and Axel seemed like he remembered Isa telling him the same thing. I think Isa did tell Lea that he trusted him when he vowed he’d always be there to bring him back. Saïx was reminding him of that.

“It seems you chose the selfish course of action. Our plan does not require two of them. You understand this, don’t you? One is plenty.”

When you say ‘we,’ who do you mean? Axel wanted to ask suddenly, giving a bitter smile instead. We—Is ‘we’ the Organization itself? Or is ‘we’ just Saïx and me? I don’t really know any more.

“Think good and hard about it.”

I am thinking. I’m thinking so hard that I’m sick of it. I’m thinking so hard that I just want you to tell me the answer. He wanted to tell him so, but Saïx had already started walking towards the lobby.

It’s just like that back is rejecting me. And, I’m realizing that my memories of the past are too different from the thoughts I’m having now. Why the hell am I here? I don’t really know any more. What the hell do I want to do?

But Axel went against Saïx’s wishes and disappointed him. Their roles had reversed from when they were humans. Isa never would have wanted Lea to sacrifice his heart for him. He never would have asked him to kill innocent people for his sake. And he never would have wanted him to give himself over to darkness. He wanted to sacrifice himself because he wanted Lea to be free from the darkness. That selflessness is exactly why Lea wanted to save him so badly in the first place. Lea was “selfish” for acting on his own whims and refusing to do what was “for the best”.

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku. Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

On the other hand, Saïx considered Axel “selfish” because he didn’t want two innocent children to be destroyed for the sake of their goal. He didn’t care about anyone but himself. Axel no longer recognized him. The fact that Axel shed tears in KH2FM+ was a huge deal. The upside-down tears were supposed to mean he was done with crying. He never wanted to be put in a situation where he’d have to cry like he did when Isa almost sacrificed himself. Never again. But even after abandoning his morals and giving up his heart, he still felt like he lost his best friend and failed to bring him back. It was very sad, actually.

[nadziejastar]

KH3′s Poor Retconning of Isa and Lea’s Relationship

So, first things first. Lea and Isa are my absolute favorite Kingdom Hearts characters. And that is saying something, since I love so many characters. I loved their scene in Birth By Sleep. I have seen some people say Isa was a douche, and that’s why Saix was evil and did not deserve redemption. I couldn’t disagree more. Only the closest of friends can bond thorough sarcasm that way. Underneath the sarcasm, it was obvious how much Isa was fond of Lea and vice versa. And yes, I do ship them for many story-related reasons, which I will get into. The novels describe Lea and Isa as “complementary opposites”, which is how I see them.

I truly thought that Isa was going to play a much more pivotal role in Lea’s character arc, like Roxas did. I was so excited to see him get saved. The set up was ALL there. I will be perfectly honest that I was disappointed in the way Isa was “redeemed”, as well as the sudden revelation that he became a villain all for the sake of a mystery girl that was never even once hinted at before. Most likely Skuld. Well, disappointed would be an understatement, really. And I want to write a detailed meta explaining why I was disappointed, why I thought that Isa’s character and backstory was heavily retconned and had SO much more potential, and why I LOVE the relationship between Isa and Lea so much. I really want to go into detail to do these characters justice that I feel canon didn't.

Roxas: What's it like having a best friend, Axel?

Axel: Couldn't tell ya. I don't have one.

When I first played 358/2 Days, the former friendship between Axel and Saix piqued my interest. It was surprising to me because they were nothing alike whatsoever. I had a hard time imagining how they could have ever been friends. Axel was so friendly and cool and Saix was so cold and mean. What did Axel see in Saix, I wondered. Whatever the reason, it was clear that the broken down friendship was a source of great pain to Axel. Although the game centered on Axel's friendship with Roxas and Xion mostly, the amount of attention Saix and Axel got led me to believe their relationship was important, too.

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It's a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don't feel like it anymore. It's strange, but I'm content with just missing what's gone. I'm not the one who changed. You did. -Axel

I could tell that Axel struggled to come to terms with what happened to his friend and his feelings about him. He clearly dislikes his change in personality, but doesn’t seem to know why it happened. He still tries to help him get to the top of the Organization, but questions why he even bothers. It left me interested to learn more and what impact this relationship would have on the story. But I still doubted whether Saix was going to switch sides or anything. I figured Saix was the foil to Roxas and the other "good" guys.

Axel: Nothing lasts forever, man. Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies. But you know, we'll still have each other...even if things change and we can't do this anymore. As long as we remember each other, we'll never be apart. Got it memorized?

Roxas: Ha ha, wow, Axel. That sounded ridiculous.

Axel: What? I thought it was pretty deep.

After playing Birth By Sleep, I was shocked at how different Isa was from Saix. Axel’s lamenting suddenly made perfect sense. No wonder he felt so confused and lonely. Saix is a completely different person from Isa. Compared to all the other Nobodies, he was by far the most different as a human. It completely changed my opinion of his character. After BBS, it was obvious to me that Saix had been Norted and was under heavy-duty mind control, like Terranort. When Axel said he did not have a best friend in Days, it was obvious that at one point he did. 

Isa was not just Lea’s friend; he was his best friend. All of Axel’s quotes about friendship and love suddenly seemed a lot sadder with this context. I felt like Isa deserved to get saved and have his old personality and friendship with Lea back. And I figured this was going to be a crucial part of Lea's character arc. In hindsight, a lot of the things that Axel said to Roxas and Xion felt like they were about Isa as much as they were about Roxas and Xion. Summer vacation, laughing with friends, memories being baggage that never did him any good. And about being together when things change, even if it’s only in memory. 

Sea Salt ice cream. The biggest sign of enduring friendship in Kingdom Hearts.

Both Lea and Isa had been trying to sneak into Ansem the Wise’s castle, and I always imagined that their involvement with Organization XIII was related to the Heartless experiments the apprentices were doing. It was a dark and intriguing implication that simply made too much sense. Not to mention quite tragic. It would explain why Axel talked like such a normal person in Days. Summer vacation, homework, and going to the beach. He didn’t seem like he joined the Organization by choice. I think this WAS the original idea, but was clearly changed by the time KH3 finished. Maybe it had to do with the cancellation of Birth By Sleep Volume 2. I don’t know. But here is why I think Isa's character got really butchered.

Xemnas: Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self.

If there was any Organization member who seemed mind-controlled or lacking a heart, it was Saix. Bar none. Even Xigbar points this out. And of all the Nobodies, it was Saix who seemed the most desperately longing for a heart. Braig has been part-Xehanort for quite some time, and he was more than happy to become so. It almost sounds like Saix is also part-Xehanort in Days, but he doesn’t realize it. But Braig does and he’s mocking him over this fact.

It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:

– Extract the darkness from a person’s heart.

– Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.

– Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.

The experiments caused the test subject’s heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle. -Ansem Report 2

After Ansem’s initial experiment, Xehanort started to regain his memory. He then attempted to gain 13 dark vessels to make the χ-blade. Not only do we know that the experiments were for mind control, but we also know that most subjects could not endure these experiments. If there were a subject who could actually endure them without collapsing, they would be very valuable to Xehanort. Perhaps that person would be labeled “Subject X”? The description of the failed subjects sounds kind of familiar, too.

My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse. I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she.

-Experiments of the Heart – Notes on Subject X, Excerpt 2

Strangely, there is a Subject X in KH3 who could endure what others couldn’t, although this subject apparently has naught to do with being a vessel for the χ-blade. This female subject was being experimented on before Xehanort regained his full memory. It’s most likely Skuld. But I would argue that "Subject X’“ was originally not Skuld, but Isa.

In addition to story reasons, there’s also symbolic reasons why I think Isa was originally supposed to get Norted during the experiments. Some may accuse me of reading too much into it, but I disagree. KH does like its symbolism. Sora, Riku, Kairi. Sky, land, sea. Terra, Aqua, Ventus. Earth, water, wind. The Greek letter χ is hugely symbolic. Saix and Isa are unquestionably symbolized by the moon. The moon symbol on Isa’s clothing is a waning crescent. I don’t think this is random, for reasons I’ll get to later. The reason I think it’s significant is this: It is the final phase of the moon, which wanes until the light is completely gone -- a new moon. In other words, it is the phase right before the moon is swallowed by darkness and the light disappears.

Axel: Bet you don't know why the sun sets red. You see, light is made up of lots of colors. And out of all those colors, red is the one that travels the farthest.

I personally think that Lea and Isa had a Sun/Moon symbolism motif going on. I always wondered if this specific quote had a significant meaning. It always seemed just a little too random to me. But now I think I get why Axel says it. Axel loved watching the sunset in Twilight Town. It was his idea to hang out there all the time. The sunset symbolism is similar to the waning crescent moon in a way. As the sun sets, light fades, which is symbolic of the forces of darkness. 

As we know, there are 7 colors of the rainbow, as well as 7 Guardians of Light. If each of the characters correspond to a specific primary color, then Lea would definitely be red. So, he is actually foreshadowing himself with that quote. Red is the color which travels the farthest. He is basically saying that he is the one who will go the furthest for his loved ones. The Sun sets red which is Axel’s color. He is claiming the sunset as himself. The sun is the source of life, light and energy. Or I guess that’s how he sees himself, anyway.

Furthermore, many of Axel’s weapons in 358/2 Days are Solar based or relate to the Sun in some way. Corona and Prominence are Solar phenomena that only are visible to the naked eye during an eclipse. Prominence is one of his strongest as well. Ashes (relating to the Pheonix) and Prometheus are also associated with the Sun. 

And almost all of Isa’s weapons are Lunar based and named after feminine things like the Goddess Artemis and a specific flower. One is also named Horoscope and incorporates the Cancer symbol in it. Only Axel and Saix have weapons named after two deities associated with the Zodiac. Prometheus represents Aquarius (which is Yang, or masculine) and Artemis represents Cancer (which is Yin, or feminine). I think this was definitely the inspiration for their personalities.

Xemnas: As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known as that of a Recusant.

According to Master Xehanort, χ is "a most ancient letter" that represents death and endings. The letter χ lends its name and form to the χ-blade, which features two Kingdom Keys crossed in an "X"-shape on the blade and Keychain token. Does this quote prove Xehanort/Xemnas marks people with the sigil, on their flesh, then gives them new names? Why is Saix the only character we see who has this mark on his flesh? 

This sounds like the most obvious reason for Isa’s scar, in hindsight. He is marked as a vessel for Xehanort; a mark to signify the death of his old self as Isa. According to Nomura, people who have had Master Xehanort’s heart implanted in them will gradually be swallowed by it. The planted parts of the heart are captured rather than disappear. But Master Xehanort plans to control them completely. This was obviously very significant for Isa.

I have to give the series credit for its symbolism. The symbol x IS used as a symbol of death, among many other things. You see it in Egyptian pyramids and temples, where we find pharaohs buried with their arms and legs crossed in devotion to the sun god Osiris. It's also seen in the skull and crossbones imagery, and is a symbol of Nimrod. 

In Christian art, the Keys of Heaven, are a pair of keys that overlap and interlock, creating an "X." The crossed keys represent the metaphorical keys that Jesus promised to St. Peter, empowering him to take binding actions in leading the institution of the Catholic Church. In short, they are a symbol of the Pope's authority. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus says to Peter: "I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on Earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on Earth shall be loosed in heaven". The crossed keys form an "X" which is the first letter of Christ's Name in Greek. Kinda looks like the X-blade, huh? So, Master Xehanort is only partly correct. X represents death, but also new life, depending on the circumstances. I bring this up to show why I don't think I'm THAT crazy for reading too much into certain symbolism. I think more thought is put into the imagery than people think.

Braig: "Which poor soul will it be?”

The Secret ending of Re:Coded made it clear that Isa was retrieved and taken to become part of the new Organization XIII without his consent. He had not even regained consciousness yet. Young Xehanort uses a name that starts with an "S", but it's kept it a mystery at first who is chosen. It is revealed later to be Saix. YX uses his nobody name, even though at this point in time he is recompleted as a human. It is also curious that Lea and Isa are wearing Organization robes, while the rest of the apprentices are wearing their normal clothes. If people are recompleted wearing the clothes they had on when they lost their heart, this is interesting. When did the writers decide that Lea and Isa were “apprentices”?

Lea: What a drag... Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?

After dreaming about Roxas, Lea wakes up, and the first thing he does is wonder what happened to Braig and Isa. The mention of Isa’s name is rather dramatic, as Lea hesitates and the music stops for it. He is clearly concerned about his absence with Braig. It seems like Lea is wondering if he will go back to the old Isa now that he has a heart. But they are nowhere to be found in the castle. In order to search for his friend he needed the power to move between worlds, and there is no way to do that other than to become a Keyblade Wielder. He saw a message recorded by Ansem the Wise in the past and, knowing it was dangerous, used the Corridors of Darkness once more to go talk with King Mickey and the others. Lea became a Keyblade wielder to search for his missing friends. Even after everything, Lea still seems to value his old friend and has some hope that he could go back to being the person he remembers.

He is quite shocked to see that his friend is now part of the New Organization XIII. Saix and Axel were not loyal to Xemnas. They had secret plans to take over the Organization, and Saix wanted to find out about the secrets Xemnas was keeping and why he was so interested in the Chamber of Waking. Moreover, Saix wanted a heart more than any other Organization member. Why would he then choose to become a Nobody again? It makes sense that Lea would be confused by this. Saix’s behavior is quite interesting, too. Master Xehanort smiles, glances at Saix, and he immediately leaps to attack Lea. It was like Xehanort knew that seeing his old friend would cause Lea to be startled and let his guard down. Saix stared blankly at Lea and no words were exchanged. Master Xehanort seemed to be in control of him, honestly.

Lea: You know, I was gonna come swooping in, Keyblade in hand! But I just couldn't get mine to materialize. Must be in the snap of the wrist or something.

When he gets back to Yen Sid’s Tower, he is brooding by himself. He seemed rather depressed at learning his friend was still on the enemy side. Later, he awakens to his Keyblade. I thought it was interesting that his Keyblade was named Flame Liberator. A liberator is someone who releases someone else from a state or situation that limits freedom of thought or behavior. It seemed to fit perfectly with the situation with Isa. Of course, Lea would be looking for Roxas /Ventus as well, but it sounded more applicable to Isa’s situation.

I was disappointed that there was almost no emphasis on Lea trying to save Isa in KH3. It felt like an afterthought when Saix randomly decided to switch sides. Not only that, but it was revealed that Isa simply chose to join the dark side and sacrifice his heart because of a girl. Which felt rather out of character. It was Isa who was reluctant to pick up “stray puppies”. And Saix hardly seemed like the type to carry a torch around for someone he only spoke to in the shadows, especially as a Nobody. 

It seemed like the writers were desperate to shoehorn in a female character or something. It just felt so strange and totally inconsistent with all the previous storytelling cues. While we may be told that Isa and Lea did everything for this girl and that's that. But I still think the story was building up to something totally different originally: Lea liberating his friend from Xehanort’s control, and the emphasis on their friendship with each other. Not a girl who was never even slightly alluded to.

One of the final scenes we see of Isa shows him as a recompleted person with a brand new outfit. And he sports a new symbol on his clothing. And while it might seem all too obvious that the star is for Skuld, I see it much differently. I don’t think it was always supposed to be for Skuld, nor do I think it is just a random symbol to look pretty. 

Most people today associate the crescent moon and the star as a symbol of Islam, but that is only a relatively recent development within the past 200 - 300 years and mainly used in countries that were part of the Ottoman empire. The symbol itself is much older than that and has been used in countries that are not Islamic at all. The conjoined representation of the crescent and a star has a long prior history in the iconography of the Ancient Near East. It represents either Sun and Moon or Moon and Morning Star, Venus.

Sun and moon joined together in a design symbolizes the union of opposites. Nearly in all the cultures throughout the world, the sun is a masculine figure and signifies strength and power. On the other hand, the moon is considered as a feminine figure and represents calmness and unflappability. The sun is the active principle whereas the moon is the passive principle. Therefore, the coming together of the sun and the moon is similar to that of the yin and yang or the good and the bad. They are complementary opposites, like Lea and Isa.

They also represent the fact that everything has a dark and a light side. Nothing in the world we have created is perfect. The essence of being human is the lack of perfection. There cannot be only good or bad in any person’s life. As the sun rises and sets everyday, every person has his days of glories and nights of darkness in life. Some people also believe that the union of the sun and the moon represents unity in diversity or the feeling of oneness. 

It is also a romantic symbol of love, symbolizing an emotional and physical union. There is a beautiful quote that goes, "Tell me the story about how the sun loved the moon so much he died every night just to let her breathe". It is a quote not just about romance, but also about the sacrifices we are willing to make for those we love. Furthermore it represents a deeper expression of unconditional love. It is easy to love the qualities that reside in the light; our greatest challenge is also being able to love and accept those that reside in the darkness.

Lastly, I want to point out that the symbol Isa wears in the ending is not the waning crescent from before, but is now a waxing crescent. This is the first phase of the new moon cycle after a period of darkness. The waxing crescent phase is the moon's first step toward fullness. And it's a very visible shift — the moon is completely invisible (while it's new) until a tiny sliver is illuminated. Thus, a fresh start begins anew. So, I think the symbol on Isa's jacket is meant to symbolize the special bond he has with Lea. I don't think KH3's writing handled this well, at all. But that is how I see it.