#but we don’t even know how long he’s been doing this
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loafysainz · 2 days ago
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DONT GO DADDY | LN 4
lando norris!dad x reader!mom
no warn
hope you guys enjoy it!!
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Lando had two more days at home before he had to leave for the next race weekend. Two days before he’d have to pack his bags, say goodbye, and be away for who-knows-how-long.
The thing is—his kids didn’t even know that yet.
Noah and Leo, his little shadows, had been extra clingy lately. Usually, Leo was glued to their mom, a total mama’s boy, while Noah was more independent. But this past week? The two of them were stuck to Lando like glue. If he so much as stepped out of the room, one (or both) would come running, calling out for him like he was about to disappear forever.
Like right now.
Lando was just sorting through some stuff in the living room when he suddenly felt two tiny pairs of arms wrap around his legs. He glanced down, finding Noah and Leo latched onto him, looking up with teary eyes.
“What’s up, little dudes?” he teased, ruffling Noah’s curls while patting Leo’s head. “Why are you guys crying, huh?”
Noah sniffled. “Daddy… hug.”
Leo nodded aggressively, arms still wrapped tight around Lando’s leg. “Want hug, Daddy.”
Lando crouched down, opening his arms. “Ohhh, you want me to hug you? Come here then.”
And just like that, his two little monsters launched themselves into his chest, squeezing him like their lives depended on it. Lando chuckled, lifting them both up in his arms.
“What’s gotten into you two, huh? You’ve been extra cuddly this week.”
Noah pouted, gripping Lando’s hoodie. “Don’t go.”
Lando blinked. “Go where?”
Leo’s lips wobbled. “Work.”
Noah, never one to be left out, “Yeah! We miss you when you go!”
Ah. They didn’t know he was leaving in two days, but somehow, they felt it.
And just like that, Lando’s heart completely melted. He sighed, rubbing their backs as they both continued to sniffle into his hoodie.
“Daddy’s right here, baby,” he murmured, rocking them gently. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“But later you go work again.” Noah mumbled, his little fingers fisting Lando’s hoodies like he was scared he’d disappear right then and there.
Lando exhaled, tilting his head back for a second before pressing a kiss to both their foreheads. “You know why Daddy goes to work, right?”
They both shook their heads, big eyes still filled with tears.
“I go so I can make money,” he explained gently. “And you know what money gets us?”
Noah thought about it for a second. “Ice cream?”
Lando chuckled. “Yes, and toys. And our house. And everything we need. If I don’t go, then we don’t get those things.”
Leo sniffled. “But I just want you.”
Lando swore his heart physically hurt. He pulled them both in even tighter. “I know, buddy. And I want to be here too. But I promise, I���ll always come back. And when I do, we’ll have fun as much as you want, okay?”
After a few more minutes of calming them down, their little bodies finally relaxed against him. The house was quiet except for their soft breathing, and Lando realized they had completely passed out on him—Leo using his arm as a pillow, and Noah curled up into his side.
That was exactly how his wife—y/n found them when she walked in.
She paused in the doorway, eyes widening at the rare moment of silence. Usually, their house was a warzone of giggles and chaos, but right now? It was peaceful. Too peaceful.
She tiptoed closer, peeking into the family room, and immediately felt her heart melt. There they were—her three favorite people, all tangled up on the couch, fast asleep.
Lando had one arm draped protectively over both boys, his head resting against the back of the couch. Noah was tucked under his chin, while Leo had somehow managed to shove himself into Lando’s side, one tiny hand gripping his hoodie even in sleep.
She smiled to herself, shaking her head fondly.
Yeah. She was definitely taking a picture of this.
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gf2bellamy · 2 days ago
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movie — spencer reid
pairing : spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) summary: spencer accidentally uses the word "we" content warnings: secret relationship , rossi playfully getting mad at reader , mention of closed case a/n: me and emily share the same opinion
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The weight of the case you had just wrapped up still lingered, but for once, it wasn’t suffocating. You had saved the victim—just in time. It was the kind of win that made the exhaustion a little easier to bear, the long hours and dark realities a little more worth it. 
You sat across from Spencer in the jet, your legs subtly interlocked with his beneath the table—not obvious but enough to feel content.
He held a book in his hands, fingers resting against the worn spine, but his eyes weren’t on the pages. Instead, he was listening as the team engaged in a heated debate over movies. 
"The Thing is a must-watch movie,” Rossi declared, leaning back in his seat with the confidence of a man who had lived long enough to know a classic when he saw one. “I mean, come on—it’s a masterpiece.” 
Emily scoffed, arms crossed. “It’s just a bunch of paranoid guys stuck in the snow. Half of them barely have personalities.” 
“That’s what makes it brilliant,” Spencer interjected, his voice slipping into the conversation as easily as he slipped into statistics. “The isolation, the uncertainty of who’s human and who’s not—it’s a perfect study of paranoia.The ambiguity of the ending only adds to the tension.” 
You bit your lip to keep from smiling. That was Spencer—effortlessly brilliant, unknowingly endearing. 
Derek chuckled. “And here we go with the movie analytics.” 
Spencer smiled apologetically but didn’t say anything, instead he shifted slightly in his seat. His knee pressed a little more firmly against yours. You smiled softly at your boyfriend.
As the conversation continued, you watched Spencer’s fingers absently trace the edges of his book.
“What’s your opinion on it?” Derek asked, nodding at you. You had been quiet throughout the discussion, content to listen rather than participate. 
You shrugged, feeling everyone’s attention shifting to you. “Don’t have one,” you admitted casually. 
Derek raised a brow. “How do you not have an opinion?” 
“I’ve never watched it.” 
The moment the words left your mouth, you felt the entire mood in the jet shift. Rossi let out an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head in what could only be described as theatrical disappointment.
“This generation,” Rossi muttered under his breath, exasperated. 
You raised your eyebrows at him. “Is it really that big of a deal?” 
Spencer, who had been quiet until now, suddenly shifted his leg against yours—just a small movement, but enough to catch your attention. When you glanced at him, he met your gaze with a look of utter disbelief. 
“Yes,” he said simply, siding with the rest of the team without hesitation. 
Even Emily, who had just been trashing the movie moments ago, nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you kind of have to watch it at least once. It’s a cultural milestone.” 
“I just don’t see the appeal,” you said, shrugging. 
Rossi let out another dramatic sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as if you had personally offended him. “Young lady, I expect you to watch this movie in the next three days—at the very least. And if you don’t—” He turned to Hotch, completely serious. “Aaron, I want you to fire her.” 
You laughed quietly, shaking your head at the absurdity of it all. “Unbelievable,” you muttered, glancing around at your teammates, who still looked thoroughly scandalized. 
Before you could protest further, Spencer spoke up, his voice calm and matter-of-fact. “We can watch it tomorrow if you want.” 
The second the words left his mouth, you felt your entire body freeze. Slowly, you turned to look at him, eyes wide. 
Spencer, who had seemed completely unaware of his slip-up, only realized what he had just said when he saw your expression. His lips parted slightly as if he was about to backtrack, but then he clamped his mouth shut, looking like he wanted to disappear into his chair. 
For a split second, there was silence—thick, heavy, and dangerous. 
And then— 
“What?” Derek’s voice cut through the air, loud and full of suspicion. 
Without thinking, you kicked Spencer lightly under the table, your foot making solid but harmless contact with his shin. He flinched slightly, but to his credit, he barely reacted otherwise, keeping his face neutral even as you shot him a look that screamed really? 
Morgan narrowed his eyes, shifting his gaze between the two of you. “We?” he echoed, emphasizing the word.
Emily leaned forward, suddenly interested. “Yeah, Reid. We?” 
Spencer cleared his throat, clearly trying to recover. “I—I just meant—hypothetically, if she wanted someone to watch it with, I—” 
“You’d volunteer as tribute?” Emily teased, smirking. 
“I mean—statistically speaking, it’s more enjoyable to experience a film with someone rather than alone,” Spencer rushed out, his voice just a little too high, a little too fast. 
You resisted the urge to groan. He was not helping. 
Rossi, who had been watching the exchange like it was an unfolding plot twist in one of his own novels, suddenly smirked. “Interesting.” 
Hotch, the only one who hadn’t reacted much, simply raised an eyebrow before going back to his paperwork. Which, honestly, was more terrifying than if he had said something. 
You exhaled, shaking your head, trying to brush it off. “Alright, movie night it is,” you said, forcing a casual tone. 
The team was still watching the two of you suspiciously, but after a few moments, they slowly let it go—well, for now. 
Under the table, Spencer nudged your foot in silent apology. You sighed, nudging him back. 
This was not going to be the last you heard about it. 
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finnothehimbo · 2 days ago
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I work on a trauma unit. ICU is more intense care the stuff you don’t go straight home from. You get transferred to us when you’re more stable then we transfer you home, to rehab or to a long term care facility. We get all the severe cases that you will survive.
I’ve seen teen age girls get paralyzed while being driven to a highschool dance.
I’ve seen a healthy 35 year old slip going down three stairs from his porch to the sidewalk (as we all do how many times a day?). He tried to grab the rail and like some final destination shit that swinging C shaped motion of grabbing the rail and still hitting the ground cracked the back base of his head on step. Paralyzed from the neck down. He was on our unit do to caregiver neglect. He had pressure wounds to the point you could see bone.
I’ve seen a women get rag dolled by a car while pushing a stroller through the cross walk. Her baby was miraculously fine. But the rag doll pulled her legs in opposite directions paralyzed from the low back down.
I’ve been on safety watch for a man who knocked on his neighbors door and shot them both. He’d hung out with them dozens of times. They had zero reason to suspect it would happen. He simply had a mental break and told me “I don’t know what happened- one second I’m having papa John’s with my friends the next the cops are saying I hurt someone. I didn’t hurt anyone. I like x and y they’re my friends. they didn’t do anything wrong. But the cops were tasing me and I was bleeding everywhere”. Not even the person who shot his neighbors knew why his neighbors deserved it. It’s that they didn’t deserve it. There was no divine plan. There was no neglect. There was no signs. Something in his brain just snapped.
The thing is denial is one hell of a drug. It says no I’m the medical provider. No I’m not dumb like them. It would never happen to me. When all of these people were living life then things outside everyones control went wrong. If I can tell you anything it’s that One day we will all be disabled.
Statistics are not in your favor to be fully functional past 60. Most Americans live to 78. I’m terrified to be in a nursing home and you should be too. I’ve also worked in nursing homes. Staff will absolutely make you feel like a burden for asking for your burnt grilled cheese to be remade. Currently nearly all of us are all looking at cafeteria food at best. We’re looking at 17 years olds with no licensing taking care of us because they’re some of the few people in the work force who aren’t burnt out and willing to be underpaid for “experience”. We’re looking at care home staff declaring what your allowed to wear in your own home until you die.
Disability rights aren’t a *them* thing. There’s no way you can guarantee you won’t be disabled. Some of our most severe disabilities are progressive so you can stay in the safety of your own home exercising eating right and never talking to strangers and your own body can betray you. That’s a process we have to have therapists come in for on the trauma unit. Your body is supposed to protect you. Then one day it can’t. One day it’s outside of anyone’s control. We’re not gonna un-paralyze you. We’ll teach you how to live again yes. That won’t un paralyze you though.
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threeacttragedy · 2 days ago
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Entry 18: The One Where Two Roads Diverged in a Wood of GIFs and Written Words
“Lukola Crisis Hotline. How may I be of service?”
Me: Houston, we have a problem.
Dad: Do tell!
Me: You won’t believe who showed up last night! –
Dad: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Whoa! I don’t know what to say! Wait – let me grab my Coke and my smokes. <waiting> Okay, I’m back. So, Misty appeared out of nowhere with Thang?! Well, this just got fun! <laughing>
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For clarity’s sake, my father tends to give everyone a pet name. Some of the pet names are funny; some are quite cruel. But if they help him remember who the players are in this fandom (and in any other situation), I’m game to play along. Plus, his pet names tend to add a little comedy relief to whatever is being discussed, especially when it is not an outwardly funny subject.
In Lukola-Land, Luke is “Thang” (it’s actually “Thing” – as in the hand from The Addams Family – but my dad’s accent muddles the pronunciation into “Thang”); Nicola is “Ireland,” for obvious reasons; Antonia is “Misty,” for, umm, the Clint Eastwood movie, “Play Misty for Me;” and Jake is – well, Jake is actually just “Jake” because my father finds the USS Jakola offensive. In fact, when I was discussing the recent fandom events with him on Friday evening, my dad was genuinely shocked to learn the Jakolas still existed. His pet name for the Jakolas is “Fucking Stupid,” by the way.
Moving on to the matter at hand –
There’s been so much “noise” over the past few weeks that, when taken collectively, it is rather eye-opening. We’ve got Luke’s mother posting on Facebook about “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus.” The leaked funeral video and photos (by allegedly Luke’s family). The Best in Show pap pictures of Nicola and Jake. The “just friends” interview. The disappearance of Jake (because he’s rehearsing for a play) and the sudden reemergence of Antonia.
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If you’ve noticed from my recent entries on this blog, I have obviously found most of what has happened of late to be comical and not worth putting into written word. Instead, my thoughts have been dumped into GIF stories. To be honest, I was rather disappointed I couldn’t put this last part – Antonia emerging from the misty edges of the forest – entirely into a GIF story. Her reappearance was like a certain Bond villain coming back to life for the seventh time. In other words, it was total cringe. But it also altered an otherwise slow burning campfire into a motherfucking forest fire.
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Me: Thoughts?
Dad: I need some time to think about this one – and a cigarette. Or two. Call me back in 15 minutes.
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“Psychotic Fan Rescue Center, at your service.”
Me: You’re a dumbass.
Dad: <laughing> Well, this is insane. It makes no sense and it’s a convoluted mess. Why bring Misty back? She was killed off two seasons ago.
Me: No shit, Sherlock.
Dad: Hell, maybe this has all been a nest of vipers.
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A nest of vipers? Ah, yes, the idea that we have a group of venomous snakes thrown into the same close-quartered trench – in an every-man-for-himself type situation – each taking strikes at the others whenever their backs are turned.
In Entries 1, 13, and 15 – with an emphasis on “Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea” – I wrote about what the Lutonia narrative could look like, if real. I will not rehash in detail those entries here, but I will link them at the end of this entry if you want to read, or reread, them.
Now, the General Audience almost certainly didn’t pay a lick of attention to Antonia when she appeared alongside Luke at the Boss event held January 30 (she’s always just been a Face in the Crowd). But the sudden reappearance of Antonia stopped the Lukolas dead in their tracks because – like my dad said – she was seemingly killed off two seasons ago.
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The Lukolas have suddenly found themselves at an intersection of confusion and, likely, a bit of distress. The long and winding road we’ve been traveling along has diverged into two paths – and, no, you cannot travel both.
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The problem with the Lutonia narrative has always been that Luke has never formally acknowledged Antonia as his girlfriend. In fact, Luke had the perfect opportunity to do so when he posted about the Boss event on his Instagram grid – but he did not. I could rationalize the idea that Luke and Antonia wanted to keep their relationship private after the Papsmear misstep if it weren’t for the fact that Antonia has been historically loud in her social media posts. We spent the summer and fall with insinuation post after insinuation post from Antonia. Yes, all those posts that alluded to her being with Luke without any actual evidence that she was, in fact, with Luke. By the time Antonia got to “Pasta-gate” in mid-November, the Lukola fandom barely even blinked before dismissing her as, well, the antagonist from “Play Misty for Me.” And this leads to something even more problematic for the USS Lutonia – Luke has never rescued Antonia from being ridiculed and torn apart by the fandom. My dad would call – and has called – Luke a cad for this.
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Jumping to the other side of this misshapen triangle, we have Nicola and her Assassin (my dad’s pet name for JVN). Assuming Lutonia is real, the only logical answer for Nicola’s behavior is that she has spent months trolling Luke, Antonia, and <gasp> the fandom. Nicola herself has admitted to being chronically online and, at a minimum, being aware of fan edits – so much so that during the London premiere she commented that she and Luke “can’t do anything” without the fandom reacting to it. Therefore, I will call “foul” on anyone who tries to persuade me that Nicola was unaware of, at a minimum, how the Lukola fandom had reacted to the Claddagh ring, Chaos Week, and the October airplane posts. JVN openly mocking Antonia on social media with, for example, their Slick Back Bun routine only added fuel to this fire.
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For shits and giggles – and so I can get to the bend in this road – we will roll with my dad’s “Nest of Vipers” theory for a moment. We will concede that Lutonia is real, which, in my opinion, makes Luke the absolute worst boyfriend in London and Antonia a woman who doesn’t mind being treated like roadkill. It also, unfortunately, makes Nicola and Fan Favorite JVN come off like online bullies – with the only plausible reasoning for the bullying being that Luke and Nicola are at odds with each other. No, I take that back – they’re not at odds with each other – they’re seemingly at war with each other. I’ll even amp this up a bit and throw in the suggestion that, assuming Lutonia is real, Netflix & Co. is aware of the strife between its two Polin actors and are protecting their asset with blurred Polin-Lukola posts to pacify the fandom. Dun-Dun-DUNN! And yes! That was a sly nod to Jake.
Me: Thanks for that. You just made Luke into an absolute prick and gave Antonia’s starring role in “Play Misty for Me” to Nicola.
Dad: Hey, I’m not the one who dug up Misty! That was all Thang!
Me: Then why does everyone say Luke is the nicest person? Nicola, his co-stars –  
Dad: All lies.
Me: Would you STOP?!
Dad: But I’m serious! Thang could be a complete pig behind closed doors and Ireland could be on the verge of a psychotic meltdown because, uhh, maybe she’s obsessed with Thang and pissed he chose Misty.
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The unfortunate thing about this Nest of Vipers theory is that I could almost certainly make a convincing argument that it was legit. I’ve always joked with my Inner Circle of Lukolas that no one wants to see me go rogue, especially not – I’ll bite my tongue on that one. But I will emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind when you’re reviewing information. Always consider both sides of the coin. That said, it’s hard to ignore the evidence that was presented to us through the World Tour interviews and behind-the-scenes footage; therefore –
Me: I’m having a hard time believing Luke is someone who wouldn’t protect his girlfriend. He seems to support Nicola online quite a bit. Why wouldn’t he do the same for Antonia?
Dad: <laughing> Fine. Antonia isn’t his girlfriend. Maybe it’s all just a bunch of fuckery like I’ve always said.
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“Fuckery” is my dad’s pet name for PR bullshit. If you didn’t pick up on it in previous entries, I am not fond of PR theories. But I also cannot ignore that PR relationships do exist and have for decades (hell, we could go back centuries and find examples of PR relationships across multiple noble and royal families – think about that, naysayers). It was my dad who first sold me on the possibility of Antonia being PR. So, I will consider this road to PR-ville in the same manner as I did the Nest of Vipers theory – with this PR theory having perhaps the better claim.
I mentioned earlier that the General Audience almost certainly paid little attention to Antonia’s existence at the Boss event. Although some people may find what I’m about to say a bit unkind, it doesn’t make it any less valid (and I’m not saying it to be cruel): Antonia, in the overall scheme of things, is of very little importance to the General Audience. She has less than 15 thousand followers on Instagram, even after being connected to a man who has almost three million. However, oddly enough, that didn’t prevent the Daily Mail from dropping a story which predominantly focused on Antonia within the same timeframe that images from the Boss event were being dropped on the Internet. It also didn’t prevent video footage of Luke and Antonia at the Boss event from being leaked online almost immediately – even when there were undoubtedly more famous celebrities attending the event. I’ll be realistic with this next comment, too: Luke may be relevant to the Bridgerton fandom, but that does not mean he is significant to, say, People Magazine’s average reader. So, why the sudden burst of publicity at this event?
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I waited to write this entry to see what Luke did with the exposure from the Boss event. Would he finally put Antonia on his Instagram grid? Would he put her in his Instagram stories? Would Antonia post pictures from the event on her Instagram grid or stories? Would Luke unambiguously acknowledge a relationship with Antonia?
Although Luke posted to his Instagram grid and stories about the event, he did not include Antonia – at least not directly. The closest he came to including Antonia was via an Instagram story – on which he did not tag her – of a black screen with a link to a Boss TikTok that included images of Luke and Antonia from the event. The TikTok did not tag Antonia either. Luke did not post Antonia’s image to his grid or his stories.
And Antonia didn’t post about the event at all.
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I wasn’t sold on a PR narrative when I started writing this entry, but my eyebrows raised when I saw Luke’s “black screen” Instagram story. This was either Luke attempting to circumvent the Lutonia narrative while throwing Antonia a bone, or it was Luke being an absolute douche of a human being. And, if it’s the latter, Mr. Newton needs to check himself into Assholes Anonymous.
I will concede that a couple of mutuals put up a few stories about the event (which disappeared after 24 hours) and Boss included (and tagged) Luke and Antonia in an Instagram and TikTok reel – without formally identifying Antonia as Luke’s girlfriend. On a side note, Luke could have reposted either of these reels – which tagged Antonia – but he did not. Luke also did not like this Boss Instagram reel with Antonia in it (and he does not have a public TikTok account), but Luke did like a separate Boss post of him and David Beckham (without Antonia). The only news outlets that called Antonia Luke’s “girlfriend” were rag-mags like the Daily Mail and Hello, both of which put an emphasis on Antonia. Digital Spy noted that Luke and Antonia “have yet to officially confirm their relationship.” So outside of some tagged reels (that weren’t reposted or acknowledged by Luke) and rag-mag speculation, what did Antonia get from this?
Dad: Publicity.
A single word but one that resonates throughout an otherwise silent wood.
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But to be honest, I’m not entirely convinced this was for publicity. I’m not saying I believe Antonia is Luke’s girlfriend either – that’s a whole cauldron of contradictions on its own. I’m simply intrigued that Antonia has her Instagram tags turned off and she has not yet allowed any Boss event tags to appear on her page. So, outside of some junky rag-mag callouts and a few TikToks, what benefit did Antonia receive? And, if Antonia didn’t truly benefit from this appearance (or, at least she doesn’t appear to be reaping the rewards from a girlfriend or PR standpoint), who did benefit?
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I mentioned at the beginning of this post that a series of events had happened one after the other over a relatively short two-week period: (1) Luke’s mum mentioning “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus” in a Facebook response; (2) leaked video and photos of Luke from a funeral; (3) those utterly ridiculous pap pictures of Nicola and Jake; (4) Nicola stating she and Luke were “just friends” in an interview; and (5) the sudden summoning of Antonia after exactly six months of being MIA.
As I sat here writing out the events of the past two weeks – and considering the reappearance of Antonia – I couldn’t help but speculate as to whether each of these events was meant to have a specific purpose that didn’t get its desired result.
The comment by Luke’s mother was so far out in left field, most Lukolas chucked it up to being suspicious and dismissed it as such. The funeral pictures and video released by one of Luke’s family members was quickly scrubbed from social media; therefore, just as quickly ignored. The pap pictures of Nicola and Jake were openly mocked across social media as being staged. The “just friends” comment – after almost a year of, particularly, Nicola dodging that phrase – didn’t seem to send many Lukolas overboard. Is it possible that the fandom’s mild reaction to all these events wasn’t anticipated? Which leads me to wonder if Luke and Nicola wanted a reaction and realized the only way they were going to get it was to play the only card they had left – Antonia.  
When you look at the above referenced events individually and collectively, they appear to indicate a push to shut down the Lukola narrative. Why?
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They could have shut down the Lukolas before the World Tour even took off. They could have shut down the Lukolas during the World Tour. They could have shut down the Lukolas after Papsmear. Why wait almost a full year to draw the line in the sand? Especially after every devoted Lukola would argue that (mostly) Nicola has left a trail of Swiftie-like clues to insinuate Lukola is real, and that Luke has made a visible effort to remove Antonia from his narrative.
Whatever the reasoning may be, we must admit Antonia’s reappearance had a purpose – and one that we need to respect. I have a hard time believing Luke would voluntarily step in the same pile of dog shit he stepped in back in June without a valid and significant reason for doing so.
And this is where I will draw the line.
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I will not speculate further about why Antonia suddenly rose from the ashes of Manderley – and I will not tell you which road to take from here. That’s something you need to do on your own but, be warned that regardless of which road you choose – the one where you conclude Luke and Antonia are a couple, or the one where you decide Antonia is playing the role of PR distraction – the Lukolas are currently fighting a losing battle.
The Lukolas have become collateral damage. They’ve either been caught in the crossfire of an online war between Luke and Nicola (and their respective sidekicks) over, presumably, Antonia; or they’re the unwitting victims of some messy PR bullshit that has resulted in Lukolas being bullied across every social media platform by rabid Jakolas and Anti-Lukes.
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Amazingly, though, many Lukolas remain resilient.
When the going gets tough…
But sometimes the tough don’t get going.
Yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Why are we still here? Just when we think something good is finally going to happen we get pushed back down. I’m tired of the dumb games.”
I rarely answer “Asks,” but my response to this comment is:
“Two roads diverged in a wood…”
Two roads.
One road is quite disheartening and the other is shrouded in underbrush.
But what you've overlooked is that there is an alternate path – a third road – the one that brought you to this point.
Turn around.
That road takes you back home – and, if you’re ready to go home, go home. It’s okay. It takes an unbelievable amount of courage to admit you’ve had enough. Remember that saying – “A wise woman once said, ‘fuck this shit,’ and she lived happily ever after.”
Take your time and decide what makes the most sense to you.
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Dad: What are you thinking?
Me: Of a poem.
Dad: Oh, which one today?
Me: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by…”
Dad: Which road is that…?
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P.S. Just for a bit of comic relief at the end of an otherwise somber post (not even Dad could make it lighthearted), I just wanted to say:
I love eating grapes.
IYKYK.
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Those links I promised:
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lostintransist · 3 days ago
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Broken Beyond Bearing | Part 3
-.-. …. .. .-.. -.. .-. . -. / -.— —- ..- -. —. / .- … / - . -.
Part 1 found here.
CW: A/B/O sexism I guess is what we should call this? Trauma reactions to doctors, awful in world politics.
Keeping his eyes on you Kyle’s concern rises with each shallow breath you suck between your teeth.
The nurse had been watching and held the door open as he directed Kyle to the first room on the right. Settling your body flat on the table he steps back, trying to give the nurse room to move. With two chairs, a small counter and a sink, and a ‘calming’ green on the walls the room looks exactly like he expects it to.
“How long ago was the exposure?” The nurse is taking your vitals and you stiffen as if your body hit rigor. “Ma’am if you don’t relax this is going to take longer.”
“Less than thirty minutes,” Kyle answers coolly.
The whine, primal and terrified, that comes from your throat as the blood pressure cuff is tightening has Kyle moving to where your head lays. Running the back of his knuckles down your cheeks he whispers to you. The scent of your fear, clear and uncontaminated with whatever afflicted you normally, flooded the room.
“Hey, hey. I’m here. You’re not alone. Everything will be okay.”
The nurse, an alpha by scent, makes a noise that pulls Kyle to look at him. The nurse, Johnson by the glance to his name tag, keeps his eyes on the monitor taking your blood pressure and pulse. Kyle focuses back on you. Your body regains mobility as the cuff is removed, eyes rolling like a horse looking for a place to run.
“Her vitals are all looking normal, the doctor will be in shortly,” Johnson shuts the door behind him. He must not be far enough away from the door when he starts talking to someone else. “Beta bitch in room one has track marks up both arms. I knew betas died from drugs more than any other gender but it’s wild to see that out here.”
Kyle would have stormed out the door to rip into the man if your hands hadn’t slapped into his, holding them tight. Pulling yourself upright from the reclined position you tuck your knees to your chest and rest your chin atop them. Letting go of his hands you curl them around your legs.
Sitting on a chair positioned next to the bed Kyle looks up at you, trying to catch your eyes.
“Even when he could see the streaks of color through your irises no recognition lit your features. Concerned, Kyle stays sitting on the bed with you watching each breath and twitch. Nothing changes until the door opens with a faint knock.
“My name is Doctor Chen. Can you tell me what happened today?”
Like an automaton, you uncurl from your crunched position. Legs folded you straighten your back and rest your forearms on your knees palms aimed at the ceiling. Kyle had seen poses similar in meditation videos he would watch sometimes to give his mind a moment to relax. There is no peace in your pose. The width of your open eyes and the shallowness of your breath all remind him of victims he has saved from torture.
Memories that left their marks on his bones should not be reflected in your posture, he faced evil abroad and in the mirror to keep people like you safe.
He glanced at the man, dark hair, light blue scrubs, thick-rimmed glasses, and a white overcoat Kyle mostly associated with lab work. A quick draw of breath and Kyle marked him as an alpha. Dr. Chen did not look at you once, eyes staying firmly on him.
“We had an exposure to an allergen.”
Dr. Chen nodded once and sat on the small, wheeled stool that Kyle only ever saw in doctor’s offices. He wondered if they had to special order them or if they appeared in the building like fairies to offers of milk and bread. The man logged into his computer with a swipe of his name tag to an RFID reader and tapped a few buttons before turning to look at Kyle again.
“Do you know what the allergy was in reaction to?” He adjusts his glasses further up his nose.
“We don’t and would like to get some testing. Does this clinic do testing?” Kyle asked; all of his medical care happened on base.
Dr. Chen’s eyes glanced at you for the first time with a flare of his nose as he took in the fear salting the room with your uniquely beta scent. Kyle knew deeper than his marrow that you could turn off his brain and any explosive rage that he dealt with being an alpha. You didn’t use that now, but by the gods, he wished you would. The flash of disgust that whipped across Dr. Chen’s face ignited the soul-deep rage that existed with being an alpha.
“Dr. Chen,” the darkness, power, in Kyle’s voice brought the doctor’s face to him. “You will treat my wife with respect or I will ensure you don’t live to regret it.”
The cloying, nose-coating scent of Dr. Chen’s alpha rising to meet the challenge filled Kyle’s nose. He let the monster rise in his eyes, keeping his scent muted. Military training had to be good for something beyond the battlefield.
Kyle stands, placing his body between the doctor and the bed where you sit. Arms crossed and shoulders spread wide he used the mass of his bulk to show the barrier he could be. He didn’t know you, but Kate had seen something that prompted her to give them the care over you. You would not feel any harm if he could prevent it. You started to rock softly, eyes still unseeing. Then you begin to hum Edelweiss, effectively breaking the tension. Chen lost the staring match when he glanced at you.
“Do your job doctor, so I don’t have to.”
“That is out of line Mr—”
“Sergeant, special forces.”
Dr. Chen’s eyes narrowed but accepted the correction.
“Sergeant, your wife is doing fine by her visual inspection and her vitals agree. This clinic does not offer allergy testing but there are a few private practices here that you can call.” He turned back to his computer, typing in what Kyle assumed to be a summary of the visit today. “Most of what we do here for allergies is to stop the reaction and watch for any adverse effects.”
“I will need a copy of that report for our records,” Kyle stated it like a command he would give a private or a trainee. A firm ‘this is the course of action you will be taking’ that did not leave any room for questions or disobedience.
If Dr. Chen thought of arguing with Kyle, he kept it to himself. He left shortly after with a comment that Johnson would be in soon with the paperwork he requested. That is how Johnny found them, Kyle’s arms crossed and holding back his rage and you the juxtaposition of a peaceful body and an absent mind.
“You are more than you appear, wife,” Johnny took your hand, curling fingers around palms.
They wait in the cadence of your voice for nearly five minutes before Johnson appears, papers in hand. Kyle snaps a vice grip around the man’s wrist, pulling him close.
“Johnson. If I hear you telling tales about betas, and more specifically about my wife I will paint the walls of your room with colors not even crime techs will unsee.”
The man under his eyes paled quite impressively. Plucking the papers from his hand Kyle dropped Johnson’s hand and turned to his pack mate and partner in crime. Johnny’s thumb traced a track along the back of your hand as he watched the interaction play out before him.
“Can you carry her to the truck?”
Johnny’s eyes flicked as he watched the nurse flee from the room.
“Yeah. Up you pop bonnie,” he settled one arm over his shoulder and then the other before lifting you under the thighs to settle around his waist.
Still, you hummed, no life in your form. Kyle had a glare and a harsh, nose-blistering scent of rage for anyone who looked too long. Johnny settled in the back seat with you, buckling you into the middle so he could keep a hand on you and Kyle could check on you in the review mirror.
The drive home is tense, filled only with Kyle’s quiet mutterings about inexperienced winter drivers. When he turns onto the path home Johnny asks a question.
“What the hell happened in the clinic when I was on the phone with John?”
The steering wheel creaks under the pressure of Kyle’s hands.
“Nurse and doctor had some awful things to say about our wife, called her a drug addict, and couldn’t keep professional.”
“The hell? Why did they do that?” Johnny’s face in the rearview is tight with angry concern.
“It’s due to the beta laws that went into place ten…eleven? Yeah maybe eleven years ago.” Your voice is an unexpected addition to the conversation.
Kyle slows to a stop in the snow, throwing the truck in park and turning to look at you.
“What beta laws?”
He knows his gaze is harsh when you flinch back. Johnny wraps an arm around you and you settle a bit.
“There were laws on the books for a long time that weren’t really enforced,” you swallow and look from man to man before staring at your knees and continuing. “About how betas weren’t allowed the same personhood rights as alphas and omegas due to the lack of either consistent rut or heat. Apparently, the ability to do both is scary to the government. Several years back a group successfully passed a new law that said basically that betas should be treated like children, unable to sign paperwork without an approving authority, have bank accounts alone, apply for a credit card, or passport, you name it without the approval of an alpha or omega. In some places it went beyond that, stripping beta’s of all rights.”
Johnny muttered under his breath something that sounded like ‘What the fuck’ but Kyle kept his eyes on you.
“What happened to you?” His whisper hardens on your skin like ice.
There is no weak, scared beta woman here, only a beast that would peel him apart if he pushed. He didn’t scare her, but doctors did.
“No.”
Nodding once and accepting the answer Kyle turned back to driving. He would discuss this all with the guys after they had settled into bed. The interactions with the clinic staff were nothing like he had ever experienced before. Though as he thought of it he couldn’t remember the last time he had worked with a beta.
Simon and John step onto the porch as Kyle parks, as if they had been keeping watch for them.
The four men set about their tasks, hauling everything inside. You follow when Johnny reaches into the back seat and helps you out, hand tucked in his as he carries in a few bags. Simon sets about setting up the bed they picked for your room. Johnny settles you at the table, laughing and joking at you as he prepares a plate of food. Kyle and John set to work on creating the dresser. They don’t hear you laugh at any of Johnny’s stories but John points to you once and Kyle catches a glimpse of a smile. The sun slips away into the trees as each of the men finishes their task. Once the bed is made and the mattress settled on the frame John and Kyle lift the dresser into place.
The three men who had built things collapsed onto the couch facing the back wall of windows into the woods. Simon is settled between John and Kyle an arm dropped around each of them. You are standing on the back porch, head tilted back as you look at the ink-dark sky. The coat and boots you wear are those picked up today. Kyle didn’t think to wonder where Johnny had gone until he bounced down the steps with a bright bundle of fabric over one shoulder as he shoved a beanie on his head.
“Where ya going, Johnny?” Simon pitches his voice to carry but not to shout.
“Gonna give our wife a gift,” he winks at his lovers and pops out the back door.
Simon tightens the arm around Kyle.
“He loves you. That won’t change if he chooses to love someone new as well,” John murmured.
Kyle looked over at John who lay his head fully on Simon, nose buried in the scent gland at his neck. John licks the length of the gland causing Simon to let out a short whine.
Glancing back out to the back porch Kyle watches Johnny settle a shawl across your shoulders and sees in your profile confusion, hesitance. When you look down and clutch the shawl tight to your chest Kyle could only call the look on your face concerned acceptance. Johnny grinned at you like the sun had risen.
“To bed Simon, I can feel you grumble. Your rut starts soon. Let Johnny get our wife settled and let Kyle and I get you into bed.” John pushes up from the couch pulling Simon with him.
Kyle stands as well, eyes drifting to you and Johnny one last time. Standing side by side the two stare at the stars. John calls him from his observations and Kyle starts up the stairs after his lovers. His other lover will arrive with time.
Broken Masterlist | Masterlist
@lucienofthelakes @gg-trini @talia-the-gemini @thriving-n-jiving @z-wantstowrite @asialovesyou09 @literallegendicon @canthavetoomuchchaos @reinekoya @jsptmoche @demothers-empty-blog @hbaasaad
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greynatomy · 2 days ago
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ingrid engen x reader
hi, it’s been a while
———
You met in the strangest way—one of those encounters that should have been fleeting but instead rearranges the entire landscape of your life. It wasn’t a grand romance at first, just a quiet unfolding, a slow realization that her presence fits into the empty spaces of your days. In hindsight, you realize it was never small. It was everything.
At the time, you didn’t know how brief it would be.
You met on one fateful day, losing your grip on your dog’s leash, he rushes to a person sitting at a cafe.
“Oh, hello little one.” She reaches down to pet the dog’s head.
“Benny!” You chase after him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to let go of his leash.”
She looks up to meet your eyes and you swear time stopped.
“Well I’m glad you did.”
“Y/N.” You reach your hand out. She gives you a smile, taking your hand in hers.
“Ingrid.”
It starts with a text. A ridiculous, unfiltered thought they send late at night that somehow finds you in the middle of your sleepiness.
“Did you know that your brain blends out a lot of noises your body makes?”
“Huh?” You reply, squinting your eyes from the brightness of your phone.
“If you were able to hear it, you would slowly drive yourself insane.”
You smile in the dark, the glow of your screen paints soft shadows on the wall.
“That would absolutely drive me insane.”
And just like that, a door is opened.
That night, you talk for hours. About anything, everything and nothing all at once. About her childhood fears. About the way you pick at your nails when you’re nervous. About how some songs feel like home even if you don’t know why.
“You ever feel like you’ve met someone before even when you haven’t?”
“Like déjà vu?” she replies, her voice drowsy through the phone.
“No. Like…fate.”
She didn’t reply after that, you heard the way her breathing evened out, knowing she fell asleep.
“Goodnight.”
The days that followed are filled with stolen moments, with messages slipped into the space of obligations.
You were on call again late at night. You knew she was half asleep but you couldn’t keep it in any longer.
“Can I tell you something?” you ask.
“Anything.”
There was a moment of silence as you find the courage to speak.
“I think I’m scared.”
You can hear her bedsheets rustling. “Of what?”
“Of how much I feel this. How I don’t wanna lose you.”
There was another moment of silence.
“You won’t lose me.” she whispers.
You don’t reply right away, but when you do, your voice is barely there, your vulnerability can be heard.
“Promise?”
Ingrid promises, but sometimes promises aren’t enough.
The unraveling happens so slowly that you don’t notice at first. Maybe neither of you wanted to.
She signed with Barcelona, promising that nothing will change and distance is just a small obstacle.
But the texts become less frequent. The calls grow shorter. The easy and effortless way she once reached out to you becomes hesitant, uncertain. You tell yourself that she’s just been busy. That nothing is wrong.
But something is.
“Are we okay?” you ask one night, after yet another day of silence.
She hesitates.
“Yeah. I’m just… I don’t know. I’ve just got a lot going on.”
You want to believe her. But there’s a distance in her words now, something slipping through the cracks.
“You know you can talk to me, right?”
“I know.”
But she doesn’t . Not in the way she used to.
And then one day, they just… stop.
Not in a dramatic and catastrophic way. Not with a fight, not with a storm of angry words. Just a slow fading, like ink dissolving in water.
At first you make excuses. She’s busy. She’s tired. She had a long day. Everything will go back to normal again.
But it doesn’t.
You try once more, sending her a short message.
“Goodnight, sleep well. I love you ❤️”
It sits there, unread.
And you know.
The absence settles into you like a ghost. You still catch yourself reaching for you phone, expecting her name to light up your screen. Some nights you find yourself scrolling through old messages, rereading conversations that once felt infinite, listening to the many voice notes she used to send.
You tell yourself that it was brief. That it shouldn’t hurt this much. But it does.
Because it was real. Even if it was short.
Even if it’s over.
One night, much later, you find yourself looking up at the moon, remembering a moment a few days into her move to Barcelona.
“Oh wow, the moon is beautiful tonight. Not as beautiful as you, but still beautiful.” you tell her as you stand outside, earphones in your ears.
“Thank you.”
“How’s your moon looking like?”
“Beautiful.”
“Do we have the same moon? Wait. Duh. There’s only one moon.”
She laughs. “You’re so cute.”
As you look at the moon, you wonder if she’s thinking of you too.
If somewhere in the quiet of her own loneliness, she remembers the sound of your laughter.
If she ever misses you the way you miss her.
If she ever looked at her phone, just for a second, and almost reach out.
But she does’t.
And you don’t.
So, instead, you whisper a goodbye to the sky.
And let her go.
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tojisteddy · 3 days ago
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If you have a problem, Toji can easily correct it.
cw: 3.1k words (dawg it was NOT supposed to be that long), brat! taming, oral (m receiving), face fucking, piv, overstím, dom/sub dynamic, dacryphilia, dub-con, punishment, breath play (kinda idk), Daddy (?) kink, creampie, spanking, pet names (baby, sweet girl, doll, mama, ma), no use of y/n, just plain debauchery.
No because Toji has to have his hands on you. Whether it be your hips, your back, your neck, your ass, hand holding, his arm around your shoulders— anything to let him know you were in arms reach and close. It wasn’t like he was a needy fuck, no, not some strict spouse that didn’t let you do your own thing.
But when you were together, he wanted— no— had to keep you near, you needed to be together.
But today, since you’d left from your place and to the bar with friends, you’d been avoiding his touch.
Purposely.
Just wanting to test the waters out since you didn’t mind constantly being close. He was your spouse after all. Unless you said otherwise, he could touch you anytime he wanted.
His hand went for your back for the sixth time tonight and there you were, silently shifting out of his reach as you went on and on to your friend about some twitter gossip he didn’t give a fuck about. He was being oh-so patient with you but you were being a brat.
He looked over at you who acted as if all was well with the world and hysterically laughed to himself, fuck, you were good.
Toji put down his beer he couldn’t be bothered to finish. His hand slowly making its was around your shoulder, you were trying to get out of his grasp yet again. But he snuggled you close, a casual look on his face as he replied to something a friend said. He’d looked down at you with a glint in his emerald eyes.
‘keep it up.’
It was silent, unnoticeable to those around you.
Fuck, you were 10-0, you knew you were losing and had already lost the game you were playing. But sometimes you gotta shoot for the stars, aim for the moon, make a slam dunk when you don’t even know the first steps to playing basketball!
So you went for an illegal home run on bullshit.
Avoiding Toji’s gaze, his touch, his voice— hell— going to get another drink you were gonna pass off to your friend just to get away from him. You were hitting all the bases, and with knowing smile, you jumped on home plate.
Imagine giggling and waving with a stupid grin on your face on national tv after losing the championship game knowing the coach was about to hound on you like the second rapture— it was like that when the night came to an end.
You both said your goodbyes without any issue, Toji’s hand at the small of your back like a gun.
‘Keep still.’
He didn’t need to say anything, you didn’t have to try anymore, he’d give you what you wanted.
~~•~~
“Hmmaahh Toji—“
“No.”
“Papaaa.”
“God damn, you’re so loud— Shut. The fuck. Up.”
You regretted it.
Seriously, you regretted it.
If you had, had your lawyers (you) properly look over the legal documents (aka the current situation) before you signed it, they would’ve snatched the pen away and burned it.
Counting.
A “game” Toji suggested you two play when you got back home. No matter how much music played, or the way Toji made casual conversation with you about your shared plans for tomorrow despite his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel— there wasn’t enough room in the car for you to say no.
The game consisted of you having to count to 100 as Toji’s large hand laid excruciating slaps to your ass. It was fine the first ten but then you got to 20, and then suddenly— you groaned, gripping onto the older man’s pants leg. As if he, of all people, was going to save you from this situation.
“Thirrty threeee.”
He scuffed, “Don’t tell me you can’t count. Start over.”
“Wha- Toji!”
“I won’t repeat myself.”
Another painful smack. You hiccuped, looking back at Toji who was looking down at you emotionless. As if he was telling you, ‘We can start again, it doesn’t matter to me.’
“O-one.”
“Keep going.”
“T-twooo.”
You were slurring your words, tears coming out of your face and you lost count again around 40
But that wasn’t good enough, he’d rangled you to the floor and on your knees (he knew your ass hurt and made sure to give you a quick break, a sweetheart :) ), forcing your mouth open without a care about how you felt and putting the tip of his swelling cock to your pretty, moisturized lips. Not wanting to make him any more upset, you opened your mouth. You expected praise because that’s what Toji always did, but instead your head got pressed to go further down his manhood. You went to take the base of it with your hands but Toji slapped them away.
“Keep your hands to yourself baby. No touching tonight.”
And what the hell did that mean?
Even though a third of his girthy cock was in your mouth, and he was still gripping your hair to get closer— there’s no way he expected you to take all of him, there’s absolutely no way.
“Relax your cute little throat, or I’ll shove it all in. Your choice.”
Shit.
“Theeeere you go, baby. Therrrre you go! Look like a fucking slut trying to take all ‘f me, good thing I’m here help, right?”
Toji was big, too big. To the point, you couldn’t breathe as he slowly gave you the last few inches of his dick. But fuck, the less you were able to breathe the more you relaxed. It oddly made you feel good. You could hear your clit pulsing as Toji pulled your head back, causing you to gasp and then shoving it back in before you got the chance to breathe. In and out, in and out, in and out, in—
The man gripped the curls, that took you so long to define each and every strand, his cock leaking even more at the sight of you. You were so perfect. Hopless but perfect.
“Your pretty mouth— shiit— must’ve been made for this. All you wanted to do was take this dick. Haaa, prove tuh Papa how bad you are but you only want me to abuse that tight fucking throat of yours.”
You had precum falling down your chin to your breasts, his balls slapping against you every single time he thrusted into your tight ass mouth, you could hear the sound of squelching in your mouth— it was filthy.
But the way Toji looked down at you, his emerald eyes looking as you were the scum of the earth— God, you couldn’t get enough of it.
Your nose was touching the black pubic hairs, your glanced up, his head thrown back, moans unable to escape him because you felt so damn good. That sight alone, turned you on further, a harsh moan coming around Toji’s veiny cock.
You were a moaning disheveled, disgusting, mess after that. You felt good simply knowing you were the one making Toji lose himself around you. It wasn’t helping the lack of air going to your brain. Your gummy walls were fluttering and hard, your brain felt foggy, all you could focus on was Toji and Toni ramming into your mouth like you were the only person on earth. You felt his cock twitch at the back your throat and suddenly, your mouth warm. Film to the brim with a thick, white substance.
“Swallow.”
Toji shoved you off of him and you fell to the floor. Gasping for air, cum dripping from your chin but your mouth was empty, and your cunt sopping in your panties, fucking clenching again and again for him. You weren’t just trying to catch your breath from his thick member being in your mouth, your chest out disheveled breaths, your legs were shaking— and Toji knew that lazy, stupid look like the back of his hand.
A deep, bellowed laugh came from the man’s stomach as he looked down at you. You’d unknowingly came. Untouched.
“Fuck, since when could you— shit mama.”
He was shaking his head, delirious with the thought, you were complete and utter putty in his hands.
“Again.”
“Huh?”
“Come on, suck it again. You’re not done.”
Toji wasn’t one to usually do punishments, there was no need to. You knew better.
But it was things like this that, in the grand scheme of things, weren’t a big deal. But Toji always made it very clear to you when he was angry— that it wasn’t just bully!Toji fucking with you. This was asshole!Toji who was gonna drag you down to hell with him, the one who you’d think is calm but had a knife behind his back, the one you actually pissed off and the one who would make it so very clear— you didn’t need to try it again.
Your eyes were puffy from crying so much, snot kept trying to come out that you kept sniffing back up and rubbing away, full lips swollen from taking his large cock to the hilt, your ass was completely red, you could practically see the hand prints on your brown skin, bite marks and hickies only left around your thighs, and your poor, sopping cunt was sore. Your clit was begging for mercy.
Above all else, this whole time: Toji wouldn’t hold you.
Wouldn’t let you wrap your arms around his back or shoulders when he was drilling you into oblivion, wouldn’t let you use his chest when you were riding him, kept your hands above your head or pinned them to the side, wouldn’t kiss you or even bite you. He wouldn’t even grip onto your hips for leverage as he was fucking from the back or as you rode him, only grabbing you by the hair or giving your ass a hard smack.
“No. Take all of it.”
“Stop it, you know how to move. Fuck it like it’s yours.”
“We don’t touch each other, now do we Doll?”
You’d apologized numerous times already, saying anything that could come to mind that would make the man happy but, no. Toji wouldn’t accept it, hell- he didn’t even give the idea of your apology the time of day. Your movements had come to a sudden stop, taking a few deep breaths. You needed a break, a minute— maybe a vacation after this. The man had spent hours eating you out like Jesus at the last meal till you snatched his head away by his hair.
Another mistake.
He’d had you sat in his lap, riding his cock, your hands hold your chest because ‘touching isn’t allowed.’ He kept you cumming, kept you shaking, kept your whimpering for more, more, more.
It didn’t satisfy you.
You hated how you felt, it made your heart ache, you felt nauseous. You felt unloved, detestable, abandoned— even though you knew Toji loved you. How he adored every inch of you, and you him. The older man was right there, in arms reach literally, you’d been taking all of his borderline monster cock tonight, everywhere he wanted, but he wouldn’t because you weren’t a good—
Oh, fuck.
No, you were really gonna cry. Like hyperventilating, sobbing on the floor after a terrible day of work and you can’t find the food your mind was dead set on eating cry. The sob was building in the back of your throat, more tears stung your eyes, your hands were shaking slowly reaching up his stomach. Trying again, the words unable to come out.
‘Please.’
Toji saw it, you were an inch shy from going into sub drop. He had looked like he was bored of you, but his eyes followed your every move. How your hips shook when he gave you one thrust to keep moving. Or how you’d tilt your head, curls following to the side of your face when you called out to him, for him to do anything to you.
Problem was, Toji didn’t just want you to feel what he felt earlier tonight— he wanted to completely ache for his touch. Even to go as far as pleading with the devil just for him to brush his fingers against your chin.
If you had to be a sobbing, babbling mess, so be it.
You were his to fuck up, his to fix, and his to discipline. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Your weary eyes stuck on him, you looked so helpless, how precious, his sweet doll. Toji quickly put out the cigarette that he’d gotten half way through, motioning you over with one finger.
“Come ‘ere.”
Hell.
You were having an outer body experience. You felt your body fall on him, the sob escaped without a second thought, you clung to him as hard as you could. Your nails scratching his lower back as he held you tight. The two of you were practically blending together.
“Sorryy, ‘m sorry Papa- I-I-I didn’t mean toooo!”
That was a lie, but he knew what you meant. Though you usually stayed in your lane, sure you pissed him off now and then, but you were his brat, weren’t you?
“ ‘S okay baby, but just don’t like it when I can’t touch you. Told ya that before, didn’t I? You should listen to me next time, yeah?”
It didn’t sound comforting.
It never was.
But when you were in his big arms, the smell of cigarettes and a hint of oak on him, his soft kisses on your teary cheeks, the sound of his heart beat— you felt so reassured. Treasured. Cared for.
He hummed, sitting you up, still sitting on his fat, pulsing cock. He took your pretty face in his calloused hands, thumbs gently at the fallin tears. You leaned into his touch, fuck you loved his hands. So big, warm, veins all over them, they could be so sweet sometimes but so damn mean. Regardless of what happened, you’d be craving to feel them.
“What’s the safe word, [+]? Tell me.”
You sniffed, “dear.”
The older man’s hands slowly went down your sides, to your bruised hips, gently rubbing circles with his fingers.
“Wanna say it? ‘S okay if you do. Big girls say it.”
The room was still, the only sound was the both of your breathing and your soft sniffles. You kept rubbing your face, trying to get yourself together after being at your lowest and then being brought back up. Your hand gripped onto Toji’s bicep, just trying to feel him, any of him.
“Don’t need to. I’m okay.”
“Yeah?” He hummed, “Then whatd’ya wanna do baby? Whatever you want.”
Your voice cracked, it was embarrassing but who gives a shit? You needed him. You were desperate for him.
“Fuck, need you to hold me Toji!” you mewled.
Like a switch, the man was on you. Yanking you back down to him, slamming your hips down on him while thrusting up into you like his life depended it.
He loved snapping his hips up to meet yours, the gorgeous sight of your ass and hips rippling was droll worthy. He rasped, “Attaa girl, haaa, atta. fuckin. girl. Handle it so well ma. ”
“Toojiii!” Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, mouth agape as you took every harsh thrust against your cervix. It was all so much, your chests pressed against each other. Toji’s breath was right your ear, biting your earlobe then sucking the sensitive area, his hands holding your two sore ass cheeks, using it as leverage— just what you needed.
“Love you! I— hmmm— love you, fuckin love you Papa! Sooo mu-ughh!”
“I knoooow mama,” he snickered, you were such a love sick baby, “bein so sweet f’ me. I love you baby.”
You moaned at his words, your heart swelling right along with your cunt. Pussy clenching around him and he groaned. He slammed you down on him even faster, even swiveling your hips around so you could cum.
“Toj—“
“Fuck, come on sweet girl, know you want to. Get there, hfff- fuckin make a pretty mess like you always do.”
You felt your lungs leave your body, quickly patting Toji’s shoulder as you quickly sat up, shattering around his dick. But Toji wouldn’t let you go, sitting up further against the headboard of the bed, taking your legs and throwing them over his biceps, his hands gripping into the two mounds of your bruised ass. Tip rubbing your folds that were crying ones, filled with plenty of white tears.
Toji eased his monster dick back into you, your mixed cum gushing out of you getting a moan out of him. He was drunk off you.
“Toji- ca- aagh! I can’t.” You hiccuped, using your hands to try and take him out of you. But he held you tighter putting your foreheads together with a huff,
“You can, hmm- shiit baby— you will.”
He was already slowly, slamming you down as hard as could. Your gummy walls, basically begging the older man not to let go of him. You two were huffing and puffing in each other’s open mouths, one of your hands going around Toji’s shoulder, the other griping his jet black hair that felt so nice between your fingers.
“Gonna— gotta give it to you just how you need, huh mama? Hmm— fuck meee baby— Just needed your Toji to set you straight.”
Your toes curled, a ‘yes papa.’ Leaving your pretty dark pink lips.
“Shit— kiss me Doll. Kiss me while you cum on my cock.”
Your lips immediately went to his, deliriously molding his pink lips to your two tone ones. It was sloppy, his tongue was at the back of your throat, you could hear how fucking wet it was a yards away. A string of saliva forming every time you pulled away for air.
His thrusts were slow, but they were so fucking mean, kissing your cervix every time he slammed you back down to the base of his cock, then lifted you up, up, up so the mushroom tip was almost hanging out then back down, so you would feel every. single. ridged vein, every pulse that ran through his manhood.
Your climax is like a punch to the gut, you scream into Toji’s mouth and he bit your lip. Immediately tipping over at the feeling of your walls clutching onto him like you needed his milk.
Your body shook as the black dots in your eyes consumed you. Toji brushes your hair back, fully enamored at the sight of you, leaving tender kisses around you neck and chest, heavily breathing from everything you two have just done.
“Good fuckin girl.”
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pixiexdusts-world · 1 day ago
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Trust me
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Thanos x reader
Summary: A shy girl finds safety in Thanos, a reckless but protective survivor.
Word count: 770
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
I never thought I’d end up here—with him.
Thanos wasn’t the kind of person I usually gravitated toward. He was loud, confident, and unpredictable, while I was… well, me. Shy. Awkward. The kind of person who second-guessed every word before speaking, who blushed at the slightest attention. He was the kind of guy people either admired or feared. And yet, somehow, he had chosen me.
I met him before Squid Game, before everything fell apart. Back when he was just a man with a reputation too big for any room he walked into. I had been working part-time at a record store, hiding behind the counter, quietly existing, when he walked in one night.
“You got any old-school hip-hop?” he had asked, tapping his fingers against the counter in an impatient rhythm.
I had barely managed to stammer out a response before he smirked. “Why you so nervous?”
I hadn’t known how to answer. But for some reason, he had kept coming back, every week, teasing me, pushing past my awkwardness until I had gotten used to him.
And then life happened. Bad decisions. Wrong people. The kind of trouble that swallowed you whole before you even realized you’d stepped into it. That’s how we ended up here.
The first night in the Squid Game, I kept to myself, hugging my knees in the corner while the others talked in hushed voices. Thanos, on the other hand, was already making himself known—loud, reckless, unbothered by the fear in the air. I should have been annoyed. Maybe even a little afraid. But when he found me sitting alone, his expression softened in a way I wasn’t used to seeing.
“You okay?” he asked, crouching in front of me.
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if it was true.
“You don’t have to be scared,” he said, lowering his voice like it was meant just for me. “Not as long as I’m here.”
I wanted to believe him. But this wasn’t some rap battle, some night out where he could bluff his way through danger with a cocky grin. This was real. Life or death.
Still, when he sat beside me, closer than necessary, I didn’t move away.
The days blurred together, each game a crueler nightmare than the last. I wasn’t built for this. I was too quiet, too soft, too used to fading into the background. But Thanos never let me disappear.
He stood in front of me when tensions ran high, when fights broke out over food. He made sure I ate, even when he barely touched his own meal. And when I flinched at the sound of a gunshot, he grabbed my wrist, holding it just tight enough to ground me.
“Hey,” he murmured, “look at me.”
I did.
“You’re still here,” he reminded me. “And as long as you’re here, you fight.”
I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t like him, that I didn’t know how to be fearless. But when I looked into his eyes, I realized something—he wasn’t fearless either. He just knew how to hide it.
One night, when the lights flickered and the dormitory became a battlefield, I felt panic creeping in. The sounds of screams and fists colliding filled the air, and I knew I was too weak to fight.
But then there was him.
Thanos grabbed my hand, pulling me into the shadows before anyone could reach me. He pressed me against the wall, shielding me with his body as chaos unfolded around us.
“Stay behind me,” he ordered, his voice rough but steady.
I wanted to tell him I didn’t deserve his protection. That he should be watching out for himself, not wasting his time on me. But all I could do was nod, gripping the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline.
As he fought off anyone who got too close, I realized something.
He wasn’t the man people thought he was. He wasn’t just reckless. He wasn’t just trouble.
He was the only person in this place who made me feel safe.
“Why do you care so much?” I asked one night, when the world had quieted again.
He looked at me like the answer was obvious.
“Because you make me feel human.”
And in that moment, despite the nightmare surrounding us, I believed him.
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poetinthelakes · 5 hours ago
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WE'RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER .ᐟ gojo satoru
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PAIRING. ceo!gojo x kindergarten teacher!reader
ABOUT. ceo!gojo discovers he has a son which leads him to the harmony fields kindergarten, where the woman who almost ran into him with her car in the morning is his son's teacher and the cause of his future sleepless nights.
NOTES. it's finally here!! had some trouble with the written part of this smau so that's why i took so long in posting it, this was the winner in this poll. this is a multi-part smau. harmony fields is the name of the kindergarten.
WARNINGS. enemies to lovers ⋆ typos ⋆ ignore timestamps ⋆ english is not my first language ⋆ written part (is sh!t y'all) ⋆ gojo's is insufferable ⋆ utahime's the owner of harmony fields ⋆ written part takes place a day after the incident and it's 1,04k words.
part one | part two | part three | more?
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“Okay. . .remember what we practiced?” the white-haired man immediately asked as he helped the boy out of his car.
The kid nodded slowly and looked up at Satoru, waiting for him to hand over the chips he bought for him on the way here.
“I’ll give them to you, kid, but first, let’s practice one more time,” Satoru warned, “You're going to say that i'm your dad and that your mom is away on a trip, 'kay?”
“But you said that you weren't my dad, and my mom isn’t on a trip,” the boy pointed out seriously, making the blue-eyed man sigh.
“Just say it, please? if you don’t, i’ll take you to the police station and let them deal with you," Satoru threatened with a unsettling smile.
“He’s my dad, and my mom is away on a trip,” Megumi repeated, irritated by the man.
Truth is, he missed his mom and he wished she was there with him instead of the stranger who was taking care of him now.
“Yes! Good boy,” Satoru ruffled the Megumi’s hair like he was petting a dog, he definitely wasn't used to dealing with kids, especially one his age.
How do you even treat a five-year old? Was what had been going through Gojo's head since his son arrived at his apartment.
“Ah, Gojo! Right on time, looks like having a son is finally doing you some good,” Utahime called out as she walked towards the entrance of her kindergarten, where the dad and son duo were.
“Utahime, my least favorite person! it's been, what? two months?" he sneered.
“It’s always such a disgrace seeing you, Gojo," she said bitterly before putting on her best smile and looking at the five-year-old, “And you must be Megumi, right?”
“He’s my dad, and my mom is on a trip,” Megumi stated almost robotically, making the Harmony Field's director laugh.
“Wow, how cool!” she exclaimed, gesturing for them to follow her inside.
“Yeah, his mom is at a seminar in Europe,” the ceo lied smoothly.
“Europe? You must be very proud, Megumi,” the dark-haired woman tried to make some chitchat but Megumi remained silent, walking behind them as quietly as possible.
“’Gumi doesn’t talk much, but it’s something i- we’ve been working on. . .” Satoru excused himself with another lie, though Utahime barely paid attention, too focused on you approaching. It was the perfect opportunity to introduce you to the new dad and the new kid joining your class.
“Yn! Come over here, this is Gojo Satoru and his son, Megumi,” Utahime introduced, making your eyes widen in surprise as soon as you locked eyes with the man you almost hit with your car on your way to the kindergarten.
“You?/You?” you both said at the same time, his eyes sharp enough that if looks could kill, you'd be in a coffin with people saying how good of a person you were; and you just forced a polite smile to hide your annoyance at seeing him at your workplace, such arrogant man didn't seem like a father to you, not even a bad one, he just seemed like the kind of guy who didn't care for kids at all but there he was, putting on his best smile with his son who didn't look like him at all except for his eyes and messy hair.
“You two know each other?” your friend and colleague asked, looking between you both expectantly.
“Yeah. . .turns out this dad likes to go running in the middle of the street in the morning,” you muttered through gritted teeth, making the man scoff.
“Right. And it seems like there's more and more of those crazy drivers these days, dangerous, isn’t it?” Satoru shot back. You barely heard Utahime’s response, too focused on the annoyance bubbling inside you. Who did this guy think he was? He had to be some kind of irresponsible deranged idiot.
You rolled your eyes once more before glancing down and noticing the little boy looking at you curiously.
You crouched down to meet his eyes and be able to speak to him directly, the first impression with children was always the most important to you rather than the one with the parent, “Hi, sweetheart! you must be Megumi, how are you?” you asked kindly, you've loved kids since forever and it didn’t matter that this particular kid belonged to the most insufferable man you'd ever met.
Megumi’s eyes looked sad, distant and lost, as if all he wanted was to be anywhere but here. Still, you tried talking to him, sensing his struggle in interacting with people.
When he didn’t respond, you continued, “You know, in the classroom there's lots of kids your age who can’t wait to meet you. They’ve been so excited ever since we told them a new friend for them was coming. And guess what? Today’s your lucky day because we have a special activity with puppies! How does that sound?” you asked with a warm smile and at the mention of 'puppies,' Megumi’s eyes lit up, an expression of excitement appearing on his face for the first time since he got there along with a soft smile. Even Satoru seemed surprised to see it, he hadn't smiled at all when he was at his apartment and now he does with a complete stranger? not that he wasn't one either but the father (if you could call him that) had tried everything the day before to make the kid laugh and all he got was a 'you're not funny' from him.
“Are there really going to be puppies?” Megumi asked, a special glimmer in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
“Of course! So what do you say? Want to wait for them with the other kids?” you asked, extending your hand to his smaller one. Megumi glanced between his dad and you before nodding and taking your hand with a small smile still on his lips and that was the first step to make this kid as happy as he could be.
Without hesitation, you led him towards the rest of the class, happy that your first interaction with the boy had been a success. You just hoped things would stay that way, today, tomorrow and hopefully forever.
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ARTIFACTS .ᐟ
• hari fushiguro is megumi's aunt, she's took care of him for two weeks and that was it. she didn't have enough money to raise him and her daughter so she went to gojo's apt since she remembered he had a lot of money when they hooked up and made up a story about her sister and him.
• toji's dead and tsumiki doesn't exist in this one since toji died before megumi was born.
• his mom died two weeks ago but since he's still a kid, he doesn't know how to process it so he thinks his mom left him and that's why his aunt didn't want him either.
• ofc gojo isn't his father but they make him believe he is.
• that's all!! enjoy <3
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© POETINTHELAKES 2025
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checkeredflagggs · 2 days ago
Text
Febuwhump Day 3: Pinned Down
pairings: gen
summary: a story about y/n, Redbull’s new second driver, told in non-sequential order
a/n: I love febuwhump and have participated before for other fandoms but this is a first for me — attempting to compete it via smau only. Hopefully I can write a complete story eventually and I will be posting it on its own masterlist in the correct order to read but it’ll be written based on the febuwhump prompt list! @febuwhump
a/n2: based on the 2024 year; sorry checo but you got replaced earlier!
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y/n_rb
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liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, and 1,231,245 others
y/n_rb: let’s do it babes! One last race before summer break!
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user1: getting a dose of Senioritis here?
↳y/n_rb: NO! In fact I’m counting down the days till I can get BACK into the car again and break hasn’t even started!
↳y/n_rb: and stop calling me old!!
maxverstappen1: Show them how it’s done!
↳y/n_rb: oh you know it!
redbullracing: get it girl!
↳y/n_rb: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 getting it!
↳y/n_rb: ^^^ all my trophies thank you
↳user2: yeah!!! Show them them at you’ve been getting it already!
↳y/n_rb: 👈🏻😎👉🏻
logansargeant: one last weekend before I get a break from seeing you? Thank you 🙏
↳y/n_rb: you’d think right?
↳logansargeant: …what do you mean?
↳y/n_rb: 🤭🤭🤭🤭
↳logansargeant: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??
↳user3: so slay of her to menace everyone liked by y/n_rb
fernandoalo_oficial: ¡Lo harás genial, chico! you'll do great, kid!
↳user4: isn’t it so nice seeing 2 rookies get along?
↳user5: there’s no way that old man is a rookie???
↳y/n_rb: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! HE’S A ROOKIE!
↳y/n_rb: Mr. Fernando sir of course. I’ll do you proud 🫡
↳fernandoalo_oficial: ¿Sabes que puedes llamarme solo Fernando? you know you can call me just Fernando?
↳y/n_rb: I don’t think you understand how much I can’t do that. Thanks 😊
↳user6: wait you speak Spanish? I just realized
↳y/n_rb: while you were busy goofing off, I studied the blade (Mr. Fernando)
↳user6: iconic actually
f1
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liked by user, user, user, and 2,234,123 others
tagged: y/n_rb, lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial
f1: and that’s contact. y/n_rb was pinned down between the wall and lewishamilton who himself was boxed in by fernandoalo_oficial. This marks the end of the race for y/n_rb. No contact has been made from y/n_rb yet.
view all comments
user7: Jesus…
↳user8: I hope she’s ok. That crash was bad, bad
user9: it’s been almost 2 minutes and they still don’t have word from her…
↳user10: the marshals are booking it to her
↳user11: why did it take so long????? She slammed into that wall so hard
user12: air support has apparently been called for
↳user13: it’s that bad?
↳user12: her car is all over the track and she STILL hasn’t responded
↳user14: they’ve called the race for it
↳user15: good god finally
user16: this is either gonna be the best day of her life or the worst
↳user17: we don’t even know if she’s ok?
↳user16: she crashed with Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso though
↳user17: …ok you might be on to something
↳user18: let’s be real — she’d probably comment something like “my fav threesome”
↳user16: 😂
↳user17: that does seem like her
user20: it’s been a couple of hours — is there still no word?
↳user21: logansargeant posted something. Apparently he’s at a hospital — I’m assuming it’s for her
logansargeant
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liked by lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 1,928,333 others
tagged: y/n_rb
logansargeant: still no news but I’ve been told that’s a good thing?
view all comments
user22: keeping y/n_rb in our thoughts!
lewishamilton: where?
↳logansargeant: check the group chat — I’ve sent the location
↳lewishamilton: on my way
↳fernandoalo_oficial: mismo same
user23: thanks for the update Logan!
oscarpiastri: need anything before I come?
↳logansargeant: my bag?
↳oscarpiastri: 👍🏻. Food?
↳logansargeant: shockingly good here
francisca.cgomes: dis-moi — est-ce que mon amour va vraiment bien? tell me — is my love really ok?
↳logansargeant: as y/n would say — babe you’ll be the first person I text (when I finally can)
↳pierregasly: are you…are you helping y/n steal my girlfriend? (Merci de nous tenir au courant. Thanks for keeping us in the loop.)
↳logansargeant: (channeling y/n) our girlfriend Frenchie 🤝
↳francisca.cgomes: ma chérie…
↳pierregasly: 🙄🙄
charles_leclerc: leo is ready and waiting to give healing kisses when able too
↳logansargeant: careful there — she might try to steal your dog
↳pierregasly: she might try to steal your girlfriend too
↳charles_leclerc: …noted
↳alexandrasaintmleux: oh? 🤨
↳charles_leclerc: nothing to see here
maxverstappen1: Tell y/n_rb that Jimmy and Sassy (the #1 pets) are waiting for her back in Monaco 🇲🇨
↳charles_leclerc: Siri how do you say “you’re wrong” in Dutch?
↳maxverstappen1: Wouldn’t know — never been wrong before?
↳maxverstappen1: You can tell her in French though
↳user24: unconscious and still able to cause mischief…
↳user24: i think i wanna be here when i grow up!
↳maxverstappen1: No
↳charles_leclerc: non
↳pierregasly: un seul suffit
↳logansargeant: there are so many better role models out there
↳oscarpiastri: please don’t
Taglist
@anamiad00msday @suns3treading @daniskywalkersolo @awritingtree @justheretoreadthxxs @coral7161 @lost4lyrics @mastermindbaby @freyathehuntress @angelluv16 @nichmeddar @mxm47max @voidvannie @justaf1girl
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starmatzz · 2 days ago
Note
Do you write omorashi?
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i do!💙my first time writing to, so pardon me :D
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bf!mingi x gf!reader | contains mature content
nsfw tags
omorashi, piss, piss kink, wetting, humiliation, praising, pet names, urinal denial, exhibitionism, dom/sub, forced urinal denial, bladder control
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You were on a date with Mingi, strolling through the city on a beautiful day. Stopping by a cozy boba shop, he ordered you a large bubble tea without hesitation.
“Drink, sweetheart. Don’t wanna have a headache, hm?” he said with a gentle smile, his voice filled with warmth. His thumb brushed softly over your knuckles as he held your hand, his touch reassuring and sweet.
It was a hot day, and the bubble tea had disappeared quickly, the cool sweetness refreshing you as you walked through the park with Mingi. Tossing the empty cup into the trash, you sighed in relief, only for him to suddenly pull out a bottle of water from his bag.
He handed you the bottle, his expectant gaze never leaving you. You looked up at him curiously, tilting your head.
“I’ve just finished a large bubble tea, baby,” you pouted, lips forming a small frown.
Mingi only shook his head, a knowing smile playing on his lips as he slid an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. His warmth contrasted the summer heat, but it was comforting nonetheless.
“Drink up,” he murmured, voice gentle yet firm.
You huffed playfully but unscrewed the cap anyway, taking a small sip. He watched you with quiet satisfaction, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns against your side.
“Good girl,” he whispered, just enough for you to hear.
The day went on, and Mingi never let up. Every so often, he’d bring the bottle to your lips with that same gentle yet insistent look, and you’d drink without thinking much of it. His hand stayed comfortably around your waist, his touch grounding as you wandered through the park together.
But soon, a familiar pressure started building in your lower stomach. You shifted slightly, realizing that all the liquid you’d been drinking was catching up to you.
Mingi noticed your fidgeting and glanced down at you. “You okay, sweetheart?” His voice was laced with concern, but there was also a hint of amusement in his eyes—like he already knew.
You bit your lip, hesitating. “I… need to pee,” you admitted quietly, cheeks heating up.
Mingi’s lips twitched, clearly holding back a laugh. “Really?” he teased, squeezing your waist lightly, “I don't see a bathroom anywhere though, and we still need to go buy groceries.”
Your eyes widened as his words sank in, his husky voice sending a shiver down your spine. 
“Mingi,” you whispered, half in disbelief, half in something else entirely.
He only chuckled, pulling you even closer, his hand sliding down to rest on your hip. “Guess you gotta be a good girl and hold it,” he murmured again, his breath warm against your ear. His fingers traced slow, lazy circles on your hip, sending another wave of heat through you.
Walking into the mall hand in hand with Mingi, you felt your body grow tense with every passing minute. The cool air-conditioning was a relief against the summer heat, but it did nothing to ease the warmth spreading through your body—not from the temperature, but from the struggle to hold it in.
Your steps slowed slightly, thighs pressing together instinctively as you fought against the growing pressure. Mingi, of course, noticed immediately. His grip on your hand tightened, and when you glanced up at him, his eyes were filled with amusement and something darker beneath the surface.
“What's the matter, sweetheart?” he murmured, leaning in just enough for only you to hear.
You shot him a glare, your cheeks burning. “This is your fault,” you huffed, shifting on your feet.
He chuckled, utterly unbothered, his free hand resting lightly on your lower back. “You’re doing so well,” he praised, his voice laced with something that sent a shiver down your spine. “But I wonder how long my good girl can last.”
“Mingi,” you warned, your voice a mix of frustration and something dangerously close to anticipation.
He only grinned, tugging you a little closer as you weaved through the crowd. “Let’s take our time, yeah?” he teased, his fingers pressing just slightly against your back, as if testing your resolve.
Mingi hummed softly as he flipped through a rack of shirts, completely at ease while you stood beside him, barely able to focus. The pressure in your lower stomach was unbearable now, and every passing second felt like torture.
Holding up a shirt, he turned to you with big, innocent eyes. “What do you think about this one, baby?” he asked, tilting his head slightly, as if he wasn’t fully aware of your current predicament.
You clenched your fists, shifting on your feet as you swallowed down another wave of desperation. “Mingi, please…” you whined, your voice coming out shaky, laced with both frustration and urgency.
His lips twitched, fighting back a smirk as he placed the shirt back on the rack. “Please what, sweetheart?” he asked, voice dripping with feigned innocence.
You shot him a pleading look, your legs pressing together instinctively. “You know what,” you muttered, your cheeks burning as you tried to keep your composure.
Mingi let out a soft chuckle, stepping closer until his lips were just inches from your ear. “I do,” he murmured, his voice dropping to that low, teasing tone that made your heart stutter. “But I just love seeing you like this.”
A sharp gasp escaped your lips as Mingi’s arms wrapped around your waist from behind, his broad frame pressing against your back. His touch was warm, comforting—until his hands slid down slightly, applying the faintest pressure against your already full bladder.
Your whole body tensed. “Mingi,” you whimpered, grabbing onto his wrists to stop him, but he didn’t budge.
A shaky breath left you as you clenched your thighs together, your entire body burning from both embarrassment and something else entirely.
“Mingi, please,” you tried again, your voice softer this time, more desperate.
Suddenly, Mingi pulled out the cursed water bottle again, the plastic crinkling slightly in his grip as he raised it to your lips. Your breath hitched, eyes widening as you looked up at him. His usual playful expression was gone, replaced by something darker—something that left no room for disagreement.
“Please…” you whispered, voice shaky, your thighs pressing together instinctively.
He didn’t say a word. His gaze was steady, unwavering, filled with a quiet dominance that sent a shiver down your spine. With one hand still resting on your waist, he tilted the bottle ever so slightly, the cool water threatening to spill past the rim.
“Drink,” he murmured, his voice low, firm.
Your lips parted, but you hesitated, knowing exactly what he was doing. He was testing you, pushing you, waiting to see if you’d obey.
Your body screamed at you to refuse—to beg, to plead—but the weight of his stare, the way his fingers pressed into your hip, sent a different kind of heat through you.
Slowly, you took a sip, the liquid cool against your lips yet making your entire body feel unbearably warm.
Mingi smirked, satisfied, his thumb rubbing slow circles against your hip. “Good girl,” he praised, his voice barely above a whisper.
The minutes dragged on, each step feeling like an eternity as you tried to hold it together. The pressure had become unbearable, and you were so close to losing control. Every movement felt like it made things worse, the burning need to pee overwhelming your senses. You gripped Mingi’s arm, your fingers digging into his sleeve as your eyes pleaded with him.
“Please… Mingi,” you whispered, your voice trembling with the effort to stay composed.
He glanced down at you, the usual teasing glint replaced by something deeper—a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He could see you were on the verge of breaking, and he seemed to enjoy every second of it.
“Let go then,” he whispered, his voice low and commanding, his eyes dark with satisfaction.
Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you thought you might lose it. You shook your head, too embarrassed, too overwhelmed to give in, but Mingi didn’t budge. He gently tugged you behind the mall, where it was quieter, away from the bustling crowd.
“You’ve been so good,” he murmured, his hand on your back, guiding you forward. “But you don’t have to hold it anymore.”
His words were like a wave crashing over you, and despite the embarrassment, the relief that came with his permission was overwhelming. You looked up at him, desperate, and for the first time, you realized he wasn’t just playing with you—he was going to let you go.
Mingi pressed you gently against the wall, his arms wrapping securely around you, keeping you close. His warmth surrounded you, but it did nothing to ease the overwhelming embarrassment burning through you.
Then, his hand pressed firmly against your bladder, and a shaky whimper escaped your lips as your body betrayed you. Your fingers tightened around his arms, your face buried in his chest as heat flooded your cheeks.
You let go.
The relief was almost instant, washing over you like a tidal wave, but the humiliation made it hard to enjoy it fully. Your body trembled slightly, and you squeezed your eyes shut, too mortified to move.
Mingi’s grip on you never wavered. He leaned down, his lips brushing the top of your head as he whispered, “Nobody’s watching, don’t worry. Just me.”
His voice was low, soothing, yet laced with that unmistakable amusement. You could feel the smirk on his lips as he glanced around, making sure the two of you were still alone.
You let out a soft, embarrassed whine as you felt the warm liquid trickling down your legs, your body trembling from both relief and mortification. A quiet sob escaped your lips, your fingers gripping Mingi’s arms even tighter as you buried your face in his chest, too ashamed to look up.
Mingi's smirk widened as he took in the sight before him, shaking his head in amusement. “Oh look at you, look at you,” he teased, his voice filled with a mix of affection and mirth. “Couldn't hold it in and wet yourself, hmm? You're so dirty.”
The contrast between your humiliation and the way he was looking at you—like you were the most fascinating thing in the world—sent a shiver through you.
His fingers brushed against your lower back in slow, teasing circles, his warmth pressing against you as if to remind you that you weren’t alone.
“You did so well, baby,” he murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction.
He leaned in, lips ghosting over your ear. “Such a good girl for me,” he whispered, the praise sending a shiver down your spine.
“Let’s go,” Mingi said, grabbing your hand and leading you toward the mall bathrooms.
You waddled behind him, your face burning with embarrassment, every step a reminder of what had just happened.
As you reached the restroom, he suddenly stopped and pulled something from his bag. Your eyes widened as he handed you a neatly folded skirt and a fresh pair of underwear. New pair of sneakers, you wanted for a long time, followed after, along with socks. 
“A reward,” he said smoothly, a playful glint in his eyes. “Change into this.”
You hesitated, still stunned by how prepared he was. “Mingi… You planned this,” you muttered, gripping the clothes with shaky hands.
He only winked, smirking as he leaned in. “Maybe,” he teased, his voice low and knowing. “But you were such a good girl for me. You deserve something nice, don’t you, y/n?”
Your breath hitched, and you quickly turned toward the bathroom, unable to handle the intensity of his gaze any longer. As you stepped inside, heart pounding, you realized one thing—Mingi wasn’t just teasing you.
He owned you in that moment, and you both knew it.
130 notes · View notes
mcrdvcks · 2 days ago
Text
i love you, in every life ࿐‧₊ worst logan - imperfect for you pt.2
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chapter summary: You and Laura find yourselves in the void. A few months later, Wade—who claims to be from your universe, and a different Logan appear with a way out.
word count: 13.7k+ (31k+ total)
pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader
notes: alright! this is the second part... to the second part. all the warnings/tags are the same! and take this as your warning-this is split in two parts! it's too long for tumblr to fit in one post!
(also, i know that it's 10 pm est, but i felt like i had to put this out now after watching lady gaga and bruno mars' performance at the grammy's)
warnings/tags: canon to 'deadpool and wolverine', black widow!reader, worst!logan, laura calls reader mom, violence, heavy angst, detached!reader, loverboy!logan, slow burn, fluff, wade wilson interruption, happy ending, not proofread
series masterlist - part 2
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You had been to Italy a few times, never of course to see the sights. But Logan insisted, not caring that the mission was over and the two of you were supposed to be going back to the mansion.
“C’mon,” he murmured against your lips, pressing another chaste kiss against them. “I’ll show you around.”
"Do you even know where we’re goin’?" you asked, raising a skeptical brow as Logan laced his fingers through yours, tugging you along the cobblestone streets of Rome.
"’Course I do," he muttered, but the way his eyes flicked between the street signs said otherwise.
You smirked, leaning into his side. "Uh-huh. So, what’s the plan? Wander around aimlessly ‘til we find somethin’ interesting?"
"Pretty much," he admitted, bringing your joined hands up to press a kiss against your knuckles. "Not like we’re in a rush."
You huffed a quiet laugh, shaking your head. "Charles is gonna kill us when we get back."
Logan scoffed. "What’s he gonna do? Give me a disapproving look? Put me in time-out?" He squeezed your hand. "C’mon, darlin’. When’s the last time we had a real vacation?"
You exhaled, looking around. The warm glow of streetlights reflected off the damp stone, the air thick with the scent of fresh bread and espresso. It was peaceful. Normal.
You nudged him with your shoulder. "You’re lucky I like you."
He smirked. "Damn right I am." Logan leaned in a little closer, his breath warm against your ear. "Plus, it helps I got a girl who can speak Italian."
You rolled your eyes but didn’t pull away. "Yeah? And how exactly does that help you?"
Logan squeezed your hand, guiding you through the winding streets. "Means I don’t gotta fumble my way through orderin’ dinner."
You snorted. "So that’s why you’re keeping me around? For food?"
"Pretty much," he said, smirking. "That and the company."
You hummed, pretending to consider. "Could’ve just hired a translator."
Logan stopped walking, turning to face you with that look—the one that made your stomach flip, the one that told you he was serious even when his words weren’t. "Don’t need a translator. Need you."
Your breath hitched, but you covered it with a scoff, nudging him playfully. But before you could get out a word he spoke again.
“Let’s get married.”
You blinked at Logan, unsure if you’d heard him right. “What?”
Logan didn’t flinch. He just stood there, watching you with that same calm intensity he always had. “Let’s get married.”
A laugh escaped you, unbidden, half incredulous, half breathless. “You drunk already?”
Logan smirked. “Not yet.”
You shook your head, crossing your arms. “Logan—”
“I’m serious.” He stepped closer, taking your hands in his. “I know you know about the damn ring.”
Your breath hitched.
You did know.
You’d found it once, hidden away in his things. A simple gold band, unassuming, well-worn. You hadn’t asked about it at the time, but part of you had known—Logan didn’t keep things unless they mattered.
Your fingers curled around his. “You’ve had that ring for years.”
“Longer,” he admitted. “First time I met you, I bought it.”
Something in your chest tightened. “Logan.”
“I’ve lost a lot,” he murmured, his voice quieter now, rougher. “Too much. But you keep coming back to me. Life after life. And I keep finding you.”
Your throat felt tight. “This isn’t like the other times.”
Logan shook his head. “No. It ain’t. This time, I’m not gonna waste any more of it.”
You searched his face, looking for hesitation, doubt—anything that might tell you he was caught up in the moment. But there was nothing. Just certainty.
A quiet, stunned laugh escaped you. “You want to get married. Right now?”
“Why the hell not?” He grinned. “We got a whole city to ourselves. We’ve both seen enough shit to know waiting doesn’t always do us any favors.”
You exhaled, tilting your head. “You don’t even have the ring on you.”
Logan pulled his hand from yours, reached into his pocket, and held it up between his fingers. “You sure about that?”
Your heart nearly stopped.
“You carry it around?”
“Every damn day.”
You stared at him, at the way he was just standing there, so unshaken, so sure, like he’d been waiting for this moment forever.
Maybe he had.
And maybe, just maybe, so had you.
“Alright,” you breathed. “Let’s do it.”
Logan’s lips twitched into a grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you said, shaking your head, laughing under your breath. “Let’s get married.”
---
The church was small—hidden in the quieter part of the city, far from the crowds of tourists. The old priest inside raised a brow when you and Logan walked in, but he didn’t ask many questions.
Logan held your hand the entire time, his thumb tracing idle circles against your skin. When the priest asked if you were ready, Logan squeezed your fingers, just once.
Neither of you had vows prepared—there hadn’t been time for that. But you didn’t need them.
“You already know what you mean to me,” Logan murmured, slipping the ring onto your finger. “Don’t need words to prove it.”
You swallowed past the lump in your throat, looking down at the band that fit so perfectly. Then you looked back at him, that same familiar, stubborn, impossible man you had known for years.
You curled your fingers around his hand. “Good. Because I don’t have anything poetic either.”
Logan chuckled. “Don’t need poetic.”
You smiled, lifting your joined hands to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “Then let’s just get to the part where they say we’re stuck with each other.”
Logan smirked. “Thought you’d never ask.”
The priest gave a small, amused shake of his head before speaking the final words. And just like that, it was done.
Married.
You turned to Logan, your new husband, and before he could say anything, you grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss.
He made a noise of surprise, but it didn’t take him long to catch up, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist. His lips were warm, familiar, and when he broke away just enough to murmur against your mouth, his voice was thick with something you couldn’t name.
“’Bout damn time.”
You laughed, forehead resting against his. “Yeah,” you whispered. “It is.”
Logan cupped your jaw, brushing his thumb over your cheek. “You’re mine now.”
You smirked. “Always was.”
He kissed you again, and this time, neither of you were in any rush to pull away.
---
You woke up, not with a start, just a slow realization that it was a dream—a memory.
The ceiling fan above you spun in lazy circles, the dim morning light filtering through the blinds. The scent of saltwater lingered in the air, mixing with the faintest trace of lemon cleaner from Laura’s half-hearted attempt at tidying up the place. For a second, you could still feel Logan’s hand in yours, the weight of the ring on your finger, the warmth of his breath against your lips.
But it wasn’t real. Not anymore.
You exhaled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes before pushing yourself up. The bed was too big, too empty. You swung your legs over the side, the cool floor grounding you in the present.
A quiet knock sounded at the door. “Mom?”
You sighed, rolling your shoulders before standing. “Yeah?”
Laura cracked the door open, already dressed, her sunglasses perched on top of her head. “You okay?”
You huffed, running a hand through your hair. “Yeah. Why?”
Laura leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. “You were making that face again.”
You raised a brow. “What face?”
“The sad, I’m thinking about him again face.”
You snorted. “That’s not a thing.”
Laura shrugged. “Sure.”
Shaking your head, you moved past her and into the kitchen. “You eat?”
She grabbed an apple from the counter, biting into it as she hopped onto a stool. “Yeah. You?”
“Not yet.” You poured yourself a cup of coffee, the bitter scent filling the air.
Laura studied you for a second before speaking. “You had another dream, didn’t you?”
You took a sip of coffee before answering. “Maybe.”
Laura didn’t push, just nodded. “Was it a good one?”
Your fingers curled around the mug. “Yeah.”
She chewed her apple slowly, then said, “You think he ever dreamed about you?”
You swallowed, setting the mug down. “I know he did.”
Laura was quiet for a moment before hopping off the stool. “You wanna do something today? Beach, maybe?”
You glanced out the window at the waves rolling against the shore. The idea of a normal day, of pretending for just a little while longer, didn’t sound too bad. “Yeah. Beach sounds good.”
Laura nodded. “Cool. I’ll grab the towels.”
As she walked away, you let out a slow breath, staring at the coffee in your hands. The dream still clung to you, the weight of it settling deep in your chest.
You shook it off.
For now, there was the beach.
For now, there was Laura.
And for now, that was enough.
---
Logan exhaled, the cigarette between his fingers burning low. The Florida heat clung to him, sweat beading at the back of his neck as he leaned against the hood of his truck.
She was in there.
He knew her routine now—when she worked, when she shopped, when she left the house. He told himself he wasn’t stalking, that he was just waiting. But waiting for what, exactly? For her to acknowledge him? For her to let him in?
Wade had called him an idiot for sticking around. Said he was wasting his time. Maybe he was.
But maybe he wasn’t.
He took a slow drag, watching as a familiar car pulled out of the driveway. She was driving. Laura was in the passenger seat, sunglasses on, arms crossed, probably bitching about something.
Logan smirked.
He let the cigarette drop, crushing it under his boot as he pushed off the truck.
They weren’t running.
And as long as they weren’t running, he wasn’t leaving.
---
You stared at him, unabashedly. Something you only did when you were going to scold him for something.
“What?” Logan asked, turning to face you.
You crawled down the bed before sitting at the edge of it, chin in your hand, glasses slipping down your nose. “Why do you have to go to the bar? You could…”
Logan, who had just finished pulling his boots on, paused mid-motion. His brow lifted as he looked at you over his shoulder. “I could… what?”
You shrugged, pushing your glasses up absentmindedly. “I don’t know. Stay.”
Logan snorted, shaking his head as he grabbed his jacket. “What, and listen to Scott ramble about team-building exercises? No thanks.”
You huffed, tilting your head. “You could grade papers.”
He let out a short laugh, shrugging on his jacket. “Yeah, ‘cause that sounds like a real fun time.”
You rolled your eyes, leaning back on your hands. “You wouldn’t have to grade them. You could just… be here.”
Logan’s movements slowed slightly as he adjusted the cuffs of his jacket. He didn’t say anything right away, just stood there, like he was debating whether or not to argue. Then, with a sigh, he turned, arms crossed. “What’s this really about, Y/N?”
You hesitated, tapping your fingers against the blanket. “Nothing. Just thought maybe, for once, you wouldn’t leave as soon as classes were done.”
Logan studied you, his expression softening. “Did something happen?”
You shook your head quickly. “No, I just…” You trailed off, realizing how ridiculous you sounded. You weren’t clingy—at least, you didn’t think you were. But Logan was always leaving. Always heading off somewhere, whether it was a bar, a mission, or just to be alone. And even though you knew that was just the way he was, it didn’t mean you liked it.
Logan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Darlin’…”
“Never mind,” you said quickly, pushing yourself off the bed. “Forget I said anything.”
Logan caught your wrist before you could move past him, his grip firm but gentle. “Hey.” His voice was quieter now. “I didn’t mean—”
You shook your head, pulling your wrist free. “It’s fine, Logan. Go.”
His jaw clenched slightly, like he wanted to argue, but instead, he just stood there, watching as you walked past him.
You didn’t slam the door behind you, but you wanted to.
---
Logan woke up with a sharp inhale, the remnants of the dream lingering in his chest like a dull ache.
He stared at the ceiling, his breathing evening out as he tried to push the memory away. But it clung to him, heavy and persistent.
You weren’t her. And he wasn’t your Logan.
But that didn’t make it any easier.
With a grunt, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, rubbing a hand over his face before reaching for the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the nightstand.
He paused, staring at it for a long moment before setting it back down.
Outside, the Florida heat was already creeping in, the morning sun casting long shadows across the floor. He didn’t know what the hell he was still doing here.
But he wasn’t leaving.
Not yet.
---
The ocean breeze rolled in slow and steady, carrying the scent of salt and sunscreen as you leaned back against your towel. The Florida sun wasn’t unbearable, but it was warm enough to make you drowsy. Laura sat beside you, picking lazily at the label of her water bottle, her sunglasses shielding her eyes.
It had been a good day. The kind of day you never thought you’d have—normal, easy.
Until he showed up.
Laura was the first to notice. She didn’t say anything at first, just hummed softly before muttering, “He’s here.”
You frowned, not even opening your eyes. “Who?”
“Who do you think?”
Your stomach twisted, but you kept your expression neutral as you cracked one eye open. Sure enough, Logan stood a few yards away, leaning against a wooden post near the boardwalk. He wasn’t looking directly at you—just gazing out at the water, arms crossed, the picture of casual indifference.
It was bullshit.
You sighed, rubbing your fingers against your temple. “He’s not gonna leave, is he?”
Laura took a slow sip of her water. “Nope.”
You sat up, adjusting your sunglasses as you shot him a glare. He still wasn’t looking at you, but you knew he knew you saw him.
Laura smirked. “You gonna say something, or just keep making angry faces at him?”
“I’m not making angry faces,” you muttered.
“You are.”
You ignored her, pushing yourself up. You dusted the sand off your legs before heading toward him, your steps slow and deliberate. Logan didn’t move until you were right in front of him. Only then did he glance down, his expression unreadable.
“You lost?” you asked, crossing your arms.
Logan smirked. “Nah. Just enjoyin’ the view.”
You scoffed. “Right.”
Silence stretched between you, the sound of waves crashing filling the space where words should have been. Logan shifted slightly, but he didn’t back off.
“You gonna keep following me?” you asked, your voice low.
Logan exhaled through his nose, shaking his head slightly. “Ain’t followin’ you, darlin’. Just happened to be in the neighborhood.”
You arched a brow. “Really? You just happened to be at this exact beach, at this exact moment?”
“Guess it’s my lucky day,” he drawled.
You clenched your jaw, debating if you should just turn around and walk away. But something about the way he was looking at you—calm, patient, stubborn as ever—made your skin prickle.
“You waiting for me to say something?” you asked.
Logan shrugged. “Figured you might.”
You inhaled sharply, taking a step closer. “I said goodbye, Logan. You’re the one who won’t let it go.”
His expression didn’t change. “Yeah, you said goodbye. I just didn’t listen.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You don’t even know me.”
Logan tilted his head slightly, studying you. “I know enough.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “Unbelievable.”
Before he could respond, Laura called out from behind you. “Are you done flirting, or should I come back later?”
Your head snapped toward her. “Laura.”
She just shrugged, completely unfazed. “What? I’m just saying.”
Logan smirked, and you turned back to him, pointing a finger at his chest. “Don’t.”
He held up his hands in mock surrender, but the smirk didn’t fade.
You huffed. “If you’re gonna keep hanging around, at least be useful and stay out of my way.”
Logan’s gaze flickered over you, something unreadable in his expression. Then, with an infuriating amount of ease, he said, “No promises.”
You clenched your fists, exhaling through your nose before turning sharply on your heel and walking back toward Laura.
She was still smirking when you sat down.
“Shut up,” you muttered.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You were thinking it.”
Laura leaned back on her elbows, tilting her head toward Logan. “You know, you could just talk to him like a normal person.”
You ripped open a bag of chips with more force than necessary. “I don’t want to talk to him.”
Laura hummed. “Then why’d you go over there?”
You froze mid-chew before shooting her a glare. “You are so grounded.”
Laura snorted. “Good luck enforcing that.”
You muttered something under your breath, throwing another glance at Logan, who was still standing in the same damn spot, watching the ocean like he had all the time in the world.
You hated how much it felt like he belonged there.
Laura smirked again, popping a chip into her mouth. “You’re gonna have to deal with this at some point, you know.”
You exhaled sharply. “Not today.”
“Yeah,” Laura murmured, staring at Logan. “We’ll see.”
---
It had been a week since the beach. Another week of pretending Logan wasn’t lurking in the background, watching but never interfering. Another week of Laura making way too many smug comments.
You ignored both of them.
Mostly.
Right now, you were more focused on getting home before the storm rolling in had the chance to flood the streets. Florida weather was unpredictable as hell—one minute sunny, the next a full-blown hurricane. The dark clouds overhead rumbled, lightning flashing in the distance as you pulled out of the school parking lot.
You had just turned onto the main road when the car jolted.
Then, the all-too-familiar thunk-thunk-thunk of a flat tire.
You let out a slow, controlled breath through your nose. “Of course.”
You pulled over onto the shoulder, gripping the wheel for a moment before forcing yourself to relax. This was fine. You could handle this.
The moment you stepped out, the humidity hit you like a wall. The air was thick, heavy with the scent of rain and asphalt. You crouched, assessing the damage. The back tire was completely shot, rubber torn to hell.
You sighed, pushing your hair away from your face. “Just needed one more week, you piece of shit,” you muttered, kicking the tire lightly before heading to the trunk for the spare.
A familiar rumble of an engine approached.
You froze for half a second before gritting your teeth.
Not even five minutes and he was here.
Logan’s truck slowed to a stop behind you. You didn’t have to turn around to know he was already climbing out, probably looking all smug and self-satisfied.
“Need a hand?”
You exhaled through your nose before straightening up and turning to face him. “No.”
Logan tilted his head, hands on his hips as he looked from you to the tire. “You sure? ‘Cause that looks pretty fucked.”
“I got it,” you said, crossing your arms.
Logan nodded, clearly not convinced. He watched as you popped the trunk, grabbed the spare, and then crouched back down to remove the damaged tire. You worked quickly, efficiently—this wasn’t exactly your first time handling something like this.
Logan leaned against his truck, arms crossed. “Y’know, most people would just say ‘thanks.’”
You didn’t even glance at him. “Most people aren’t me.”
Logan smirked. “No argument there.”
You ignored him, focusing on the task at hand. A bolt was being stubborn, refusing to budge. You adjusted your grip, using more force—nothing.
Logan pushed off his truck, strolling over. “Want me to—”
You stood up, cutting him off. “I swear to God, Logan, if you—”
Thunder cracked overhead, and the sky opened up.
Within seconds, you were both drenched.
You closed your eyes, inhaling deeply as cold rain soaked through your clothes.
Logan exhaled a short laugh. “Well. That’s unfortunate.”
You snapped your head toward him, glaring. “Really?”
He smirked, completely unfazed by the downpour. “What? You don’t like the rain?”
You huffed, brushing wet hair from your face before crouching back down. “Just shut up and let me work.”
Logan didn’t. Instead, he crouched beside you, reaching for the stubborn bolt.
You swatted his hand away. “I said I got it.”
He just looked at you, unimpressed. “It’s rusted. You need more leverage.”
“I know that.”
Logan didn’t argue. He just waited.
You exhaled sharply before finally moving aside, just enough for him to take over.
With one sharp twist, the bolt loosened.
You clenched your jaw. “Show-off.”
Logan smirked. “You loosened it for me.”
You rolled your eyes, but together, the two of you worked in sync—removing the damaged tire, fitting the spare, tightening the bolts. It was quick, practiced, almost too easy.
By the time you finished, the rain had slowed, leaving the both of you completely soaked.
Logan stood, brushing water from his arms. “Could’ve just let me do the whole thing.”
You shut the trunk with more force than necessary. “Could’ve just driven past and minded your own damn business.”
Logan smirked. “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”
You glared at him, but before you could respond, another engine rumbled down the road.
A blue sedan slowed beside you. The passenger window rolled down, revealing an older woman with a concerned expression.
“Everything alright, dear?” she asked, eyes flicking between you and Logan.
You forced a polite smile. “Yeah, I—”
“She’s fine,” Logan interrupted.
You turned sharply toward him. “Excuse you?”
Logan ignored you, giving the woman a nod. “Just a flat. All good now.”
The woman hesitated, glancing at you again before nodding slowly. “Alright, if you’re sure. Stay safe.”
The moment she drove off, you turned to Logan, scowling. “What the hell was that?”
Logan shrugged. “What? You were fine.”
You threw your hands up. “And I couldn’t say that myself?”
Logan smirked. “You could’ve, but you were takin’ too long.”
You huffed, rubbing your temples. “You are insufferable.”
Logan grinned. “And yet, here you are.”
You took a slow breath, reining in your frustration. “Are we done here?”
Logan looked you over, still clearly amused. “Need me to follow you home? Just in case?”
“I’d rather drive off a bridge.”
“Bit dramatic, don’t ya think?”
You turned toward your car, muttering, “Go to hell, Logan.”
He chuckled, stepping back toward his truck. “I’ll see you around, darlin’.”
You didn’t respond, just slammed the driver’s door shut before pulling back onto the road.
When you glanced in the rearview mirror, Logan was still standing there, watching.
And damn it, you hated the way it made your chest tighten.
---
Laura was already sitting on the couch when you walked through the front door, damp clothes clinging to your skin, rain still dripping from your hair. She took one look at you—soaked, pissed off, barely holding yourself together—and sighed.
"You let him help, didn’t you?"
You dropped your keys on the counter with more force than necessary. "No."
Laura arched a brow.
You clenched your jaw, yanking open the fridge just to give yourself something to do. "Fine. Kind of."
Laura smirked. "Figured."
You grabbed a water bottle and shut the fridge, exhaling sharply. "He just happened to be there."
"Uh-huh."
You turned, leveling her with a glare. "Don’t start."
Laura held up her hands in mock surrender, but the amusement never left her face. "I’m just saying, for someone who wants him to leave, you sure make it easy for him to stick around."
You threw the water bottle onto the counter. "You think I want him here?"
Laura’s smirk faded slightly, her expression shifting into something more thoughtful. "I think you don’t know what you want."
That did it.
Your patience, already worn thin, snapped.
"You think I don’t know?" you shot back, voice rising. "You think this is easy? That I like having him in the background, watching, waiting, making me remember things I don’t want to remember?"
Laura blinked, caught off guard by the sudden outburst.
You ran a hand through your wet hair, pacing. "Do you know how hard I worked to move on? How hard I tried to build something—anything—that didn’t lead back to him? And now he’s here, and I can’t—" You cut yourself off, exhaling sharply. "I won’t let him pull me back into it."
Laura’s brows pulled together, her voice quieter. "Mom—"
"No," you said, pointing at her. "You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to act like I’m the one making it complicated when he’s the one who won’t leave."
Laura’s jaw tightened. "Maybe he won’t leave because he actually gives a shit."
"That’s not the point!"
"Then what is the point?" she snapped, standing now. "That he’s not our Logan? That he’s not your Logan?"
You flinched.
Laura shook her head. "You keep acting like he’s a ghost, but he’s not. He’s here. And you can keep pretending it doesn’t matter, but it does. He does."
Your chest tightened. "He’s not the man I married."
"No," Laura said, her voice quieter but no less firm. "But he’s still Logan."
Silence.
Your hands curled into fists at your sides, the weight of her words pressing down on you like a vice.
Laura let out a slow breath, her shoulders slumping slightly. "I know you miss him."
Your throat burned. "It doesn’t matter."
"It does."
You shook your head, turning away. "I need to shower."
"Mom—"
"I need to shower, Laura."
She didn’t argue this time. She just watched as you walked toward the bathroom, your legs heavier with every step.
When the door clicked shut behind you, you pressed your back against it, squeezing your eyes shut.
You could still hear his voice in your head, feel the warmth of his hands on yours, see the way he used to look at you—like you were the only thing keeping him steady.
And now he was here. Not your Logan. Not the man you’d built a life with. But Logan all the same.
Laura was right.
But that didn’t mean you were ready to face it.
---
You grunted as you pulled again, trying to unlodge the stubborn screw. “Stupid. Fucking—” A warm hand enveloped yours, you didn’t need to turn around to know who’s. “I got it, kotik.”
He hummed, not condescending, but like he knew you did. “I know. Just lemme help.”
You exhaled sharply through your nose but didn’t fight him when his hand covered yours, his other gripping the wrench. With barely any effort, he turned it, the stubborn screw finally giving way with a sharp creak.
You scowled. “I had it.”
Logan smirked, setting the wrench down. “Sure, sweetheart.”
You huffed, swiping your arm across your forehead, smudging a bit of grease in the process. Logan caught it, his thumb brushing the mark off before you could duck away. His touch lingered, his eyes scanning your face.
“What’s wrong?”
You scoffed, grabbing a rag to wipe your hands. “It was the damn screw you just unlodged.”
Logan’s brow twitched. “Try again.”
You sighed, rolling your shoulders, the tension refusing to ease. “It’s nothing.”
“Didn’t ask if it was nothing,” he said, arms crossing. “Asked what’s wrong.”
You hesitated, gripping the rag tighter before exhaling. “Scott’s just… piling things on me. Ororo asked me to help out more with the kids during training, which I want to do, but then Scott starts throwing his bullshit at me too. Paperwork, scheduling, grading tests that he’s supposed to be handling." You shook your head. "And now, apparently, I’m also in charge of making sure half the team doesn’t set themselves on fire in the Danger Room.”
Logan nodded slowly. “That all?”
Your jaw clenched. “No.”
He waited, saying nothing. Just watching.
You groaned, tossing the rag onto the workbench. “It’s everything. The mansion, the missions, the meetings—God, the meetings. I swear, if I have to sit through another three-hour debate about whether the Blackbird should have a different paint job, I’m gonna throw myself off the roof.”
Logan huffed a quiet laugh, stepping closer. “Y’know, you could just tell ‘em to go to hell.”
You snorted. “Yeah, and then Scott would really make my life miserable.”
Logan’s hand found your waist, his grip warm and steady. “Then let me do it.”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh, that would go over great. You storming into a meeting, claws out, telling Summers where to shove his clipboard.”
Logan grinned. “Tempting.”
You sighed, finally leaning into him. “I’m just tired, kotik.”
He pressed a kiss to your temple. “I know.”
For a long moment, neither of you spoke. His hand traced slow circles against your lower back, grounding you. The steady rise and fall of his breathing, the quiet hum of the mansion in the distance—it was enough to make you forget the stress, just for a second.
“You should tell him no,” Logan murmured.
You tilted your head up to meet his gaze. “And what? Let the entire school burn down?”
His lips twitched. “Not our problem.”
You huffed a small laugh, shaking your head. “You say that, but we both know you’d be the first one running in if it did.”
Logan’s smirk softened. “Maybe.”
You sighed, resting your forehead against his chest. “I hate when you’re right.”
“Lucky for you, it ain’t often.”
You smiled against his shirt, letting the exhaustion slip away—at least for now.
---
You woke up to the sound of waves crashing outside, your chest tight, your skin too warm.
For a moment, you forgot where you were. You expected the distant hum of the mansion, the smell of Logan’s aftershave, the warmth of his body beside you.
But the bed was empty. The room was quiet.
And Logan was gone.
You swallowed hard, blinking up at the ceiling.
It was just a dream.
Just a memory.
And that’s all it would ever be.
---
The day passed in a blur. You went through the motions—teaching gym class, keeping the kids in line, pretending like nothing was wrong. Like you hadn’t spent the entire morning haunted by a dream that wasn’t just a dream.
Like Logan hadn’t found you.
You’d seen him again after work. He wasn’t trying to hide this time. He leaned against his truck, arms crossed, watching from across the parking lot. Not approaching. Not leaving. Just waiting.
And it pissed you off.
Laura wasn’t home when you got back. Probably at the beach or grabbing food. You had a few hours to yourself, time to think, time to breathe—
A knock at the door cut through the silence.
You stared at it.
Another knock. Louder this time.
You already knew who it was.
Jaw clenched, you walked over and yanked the door open, grip tight on the handle.
Logan stood there, his expression unreadable. “Hey.”
You didn’t hesitate. “No.”
His brow furrowed. “No?”
You stepped onto the porch, shutting the door behind you. “No. Whatever the hell you think you’re doing? No.”
Logan exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Ain’t here to start a fight, darlin’.”
“Then why are you here?” you snapped, crossing your arms. “Because if you think I’m just gonna let you hover around like some stray, you’re dead wrong.”
Logan’s jaw flexed. “I just wanna talk.”
“And say the same goddamn bullshit? Here’s the thing,” you gripped the collar of his leather jacket tightly, pulling him slightly closer to you. “I don’t fucking care.”
Logan didn’t flinch. Didn’t pull away. Just stared at you, his expression unreadable.
Your fingers curled tighter around his jacket, the leather warm beneath your grip. “You think this is romantic? You think tailing me for months, showing up at my fucking door, is gonna make me change my mind?” You shoved him back—hard. He barely stumbled. “I don’t care what you have to say, Logan.”
His jaw clenched. “Yeah? Then why’d you open the door?”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “Because I knew you wouldn’t leave if I didn’t.”
Logan exhaled through his nose, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m not here to fight with you.”
“Then what the hell do you want?” Your voice was sharp, cutting through the humid night air.
He dropped his hand, looking at you like the answer was obvious. “I want to know why you’re lyin’ to yourself.”
You let out a humorless laugh. “Jesus, Logan, get over yourself.”
“I ain’t talkin’ about me,” he shot back. “I’m talkin’ about you.”
You clenched your fists, nails digging into your palms. “I told you—”
“No, you haven’t,” Logan interrupted, stepping closer. “You keep pushin’ me away, but you ain’t sayin’ why.”
“Because I don’t owe you a fucking reason,” you snapped.
Logan studied you, his gaze slow, careful. “It’s ‘cause of him, ain’t it?”
Your stomach twisted, but your expression didn’t falter. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you do,” he murmured. “The Logan you lost. The one that was yours.”
Your breath hitched.
Logan’s voice was quieter now, steady but rough. “That’s why you’re runnin’, why you won’t let yourself stop. ‘Cause you think if you do, you’re betrayin’ him.”
You hated how easily he saw through you.
Your throat felt tight, but you forced out a scoff. “You don’t know shit, Logan.”
“I know grief.” His voice was low, weighted. “I know what it does to you. How it makes you feel like movin’ on is some kinda sin.”
You looked away, jaw tight.
“I also know,” he continued, “that it don’t go away. Don’t matter how far you run, how many times you try to start over.” His tone softened, just slightly. “It stays with you. But it don’t mean you gotta stay buried with it.”
Your hands trembled. You curled them into fists to stop it.
“Look at me,” Logan said.
You didn’t.
A rough sigh, then—you felt it. His hand, warm, familiar, pressing against the side of your face. You stiffened, but he didn’t force it, just let his thumb brush against your cheek.
“Darlin’,” Logan murmured. “I ain’t askin’ you to forget him.”
You swallowed hard.
“I just don’t want you to forget yourself.”
Your breath hitched.
You wanted to shove him away again. Wanted to punch him. Wanted to yell and tell him he was wrong.
But the worst part? He wasn’t.
And you fucking hated him for it.
Your eyes stung, but you refused to let them fall.
Finally, you forced yourself to move, pulling back, breaking the contact. “Go home, Logan.”
Logan didn’t move.
You inhaled sharply. “I mean it.”
He studied you for a long moment before nodding once. “Alright.”
Then—he stepped back, hands in his pockets. But he didn’t turn around. Didn’t leave.
Not yet.
His gaze lingered on you, something unreadable in it.
Then, quieter, rougher—
“I’ll see you around.”
You didn’t answer.
And this time, when he walked away—you didn’t watch him go.
---
He could tell you weren’t fully asleep, nor fully awake, when he got back. The lamp on your bedside table was still on, but your glasses were neatly folded on top of your book.
“Hmm? Logan?”
He slipped off his boots and pulled off his shirt before sliding in behind you, gently pushing your shoulder down so you wouldn’t get up. “Yeah. ‘S me.”
"It’s 2 in the morning." Your voice was quiet, thick with sleep. "You’ve been comin’ home later."
Logan exhaled through his nose, running a hand down his face as he settled onto the bed beside you. His body was still warm from the whiskey, the buzz clinging to the edges of his thoughts. He didn’t answer right away, just reached over and turned off your lamp, leaving only the soft glow of the nightlight in the corner.
You shifted, turning onto your side to face him. Even in the dim light, he could see your eyes—heavy with exhaustion but still watching him, still waiting. You always waited.
For months now, you had tried to get him to stay. At first, you asked outright, voice soft but certain—"Stay tonight?" And when that didn’t work, you tried coaxing, offering quiet conversation, little distractions, your presence alone.
Then, when that didn’t work either, it became this.
Half-asleep murmurs. The lingering hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d come home early for once.
But he never did.
"Yeah," Logan muttered, shifting onto his back. "Got caught up."
You huffed, barely a sound, but he felt it more than heard it. "You always do."
Logan stared at the ceiling, jaw tight. He could feel the weight of your gaze on him, the way you were waiting for him to say something—anything—to ease the ache in your chest. But he didn’t. Because he didn’t know how.
The silence stretched between you.
Then, quietly, you spoke again. "You don’t have to go every night."
Logan swallowed, his throat dry. He could lie, say it wasn’t about the bar, say he just needed the air. But you weren’t stupid. You knew what he was doing, why he kept his distance even when he was right here beside you.
So he didn’t say anything at all.
After a beat, you sighed and turned over, your back to him. A clear dismissal.
Logan closed his eyes, listening to the quiet sound of your breathing as you drifted off.
It wasn’t always like this.
At the start, you stayed up for him. You’d wait in the library, curled up with a book, or in the kitchen with tea, pretending you just happened to be awake. You used to smile when he walked in, small and tired but warm. You’d ask how his night was, even when you knew he wouldn’t answer properly.
And then, when you realized nothing changed, you started waiting in bed instead. Eyes heavy but open, glasses slipping down your nose, always murmuring some half-asleep greeting before reaching for him.
Now? Now you barely waited at all.
Logan exhaled, turning his head to look at you. You were already asleep.
Something settled deep in his chest—heavy, uncomfortable.
This wouldn’t last.
You wouldn’t wait forever.
And for the first time, the thought of losing you—of pushing you too far—felt a hell of a lot worse than whatever he was trying to drown at the bottom of a bottle.
---
Logan’s eyes snapped open.
For a second, he was disoriented, still caught in the haze of the dream—no, the memory. He could still feel the warmth of you beside him, still hear your voice, soft and tired, asking him to stay.
But when he blinked, the bedroom was gone.
No mansion. No soft lamp glow.
Just the inside of his truck, the Florida heat creeping in through the cracked window.
Logan let out a slow breath, scrubbing a hand down his face. His body was tense, jaw clenched so tight it ached. The dream had been too real—too damn vivid.
He reached for the flask in the cupholder, unscrewing the cap with steady fingers. He didn’t drink from it. Just held it.
The memory had felt like a lifetime ago. Because it was—but not his. Not this Logan’s.
It was hers.
The woman who wasn’t his Y/N but still had the same voice, the same eyes, the same way of looking at him like he was something worth waiting for.
Except this time?
She wasn’t waiting.
And Logan wasn’t sure if he was ready for what that meant.
---
For the first time in weeks, Logan wasn’t there.
You didn’t see him leaning against his truck outside the school. He wasn’t loitering at the grocery store. He wasn’t in your goddamn peripheral, watching but never pushing, always waiting for you to acknowledge him.
And it pissed you off.
You should’ve been relieved. You had told him to leave, to back off. You had shoved him, yelled at him, made it perfectly clear that you didn’t need him here—didn’t want him here.
So why the hell did your chest feel tight?
Why did you keep glancing out the window when you left work, expecting to see him?
Why did it feel wrong that he wasn’t following?
Laura noticed before you did.
“You’re looking for him,” she said flatly, popping a fry into her mouth as the two of you sat at a booth in some local diner.
You blinked, caught off guard. “What?”
Laura gave you a look over the rim of her milkshake. “Logan.”
You scoffed, picking at the label of your water bottle. “I’m not—”
“Yeah, you are.” She dipped a fry in ketchup, not even trying to hide her smirk. “You’ve checked the door, like, five times.”
You rolled your eyes. “I was looking at the—” You stopped, realizing you had absolutely nothing to follow that up with.
Laura arched a brow. “Right.”
You huffed, slouching back against the booth. “He’s not here.”
“Yeah. Because you told him to leave.”
“So?”
Laura shrugged. “Didn’t think he actually would, did you?”
You didn’t answer.
Because the truth was, you hadn’t expected him to leave. Logan was stubborn. Logan didn’t give up. If anything, you had expected him to show up again, keep pushing, keep trying to get you to talk.
But he hadn’t.
And for some reason, that scared you.
Laura sighed, wiping her hands on a napkin before leaning forward. “You can’t have it both ways, you know.”
Your brow furrowed. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you can’t tell him to leave and then get all weird when he actually does.”
You clenched your jaw. “I didn’t want him here.”
Laura tilted her head. “Didn’t you?”
You stared at her, stomach twisting, because you didn’t want him here—did you?
No. You didn’t.
But you didn’t want him gone, either.
You stood abruptly, tossing some bills onto the table. “C’mon. We’re leaving.”
Laura just smirked. “Where to?”
You grabbed your jacket. “I need to find Logan.”
---
It didn’t take long.
Logan wasn’t exactly subtle, and you had been trained to track people long before you ever met him. It was almost insulting how easy it was.
His truck was parked outside some shitty motel off the main road, tucked into the shadows near a flickering neon sign.
You could’ve knocked on his door. Could’ve walked right up, demanded an explanation—Why the hell did you listen to me?
But you didn’t.
Instead, you waited.
You sat in your car across the street, watching from the shadows, waiting to see if he’d leave. If he’d drive off, if he was planning on staying. If he was really, actually gone.
But Logan never left.
Hours passed. The motel lights flickered. You saw him once—stepping outside just long enough to smoke a cigarette before heading back in. No sign of him packing up, no sign of him driving away.
He wasn’t following you anymore.
But he hadn’t left, either.
You exhaled slowly, gripping the steering wheel.
This was the first time in months that Logan wasn’t hovering just outside your reach. And yet, you had tracked him down anyway.
Maybe Laura was right.
Maybe you hadn’t wanted him to leave.
Not really.
You ran a hand through your hair, exhaling sharply as you stared at Logan’s truck.
What the hell am I doing?
You had spent months trying to get him to leave, and now here you were, parked outside some shitty motel like some stalker, watching and waiting. For what? For him to notice? For him to come back?
No. That wasn’t what you wanted.
You gritted your teeth, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. Then why are you still here?
You could just drive away. Go back home, pretend like you never saw him, pretend like this didn’t bother you.
But it did.
It bothered you that he listened. It bothered you that he left. It bothered you that, for the first time since he showed up, he wasn’t pushing you.
And you didn’t know why that scared you.
With a frustrated sigh, you shoved the door open and got out, the night air thick and humid around you. The gravel crunched beneath your boots as you crossed the street, your steps quick and deliberate.
You didn’t give yourself time to hesitate. If you thought about it too much, you’d turn back. And you weren’t ready to do that yet.
You knocked on the motel door.
Silence.
Your jaw clenched, and you knocked again—louder this time.
Still nothing.
A flicker of irritation ran through you. “Logan, open the damn door.”
Nothing.
Your patience snapped. You grabbed the doorknob and twisted. It was locked, of course, but that was never a problem for you. With a practiced flick of your wrist, you popped the lock and shoved the door open.
Logan was inside, sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows resting on his knees, a cigar burning between his fingers. He didn’t look surprised to see you. If anything, he looked tired.
“Real subtle, darlin’,” he muttered, exhaling smoke through his nose.
You crossed your arms. “You weren’t answering.”
“Didn’t feel like talkin’.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Too bad.”
Logan huffed out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Figures.”
You stepped inside, kicking the door shut behind you. “You just gonna sit there?”
“What do you want, Y/N?” Logan asked, his voice rough. Not annoyed. Just… tired.
The way he said your name made your stomach twist. You weren’t sure why.
“I don’t know,” you admitted, crossing your arms tighter.
Logan studied you, taking another slow drag from his cigar before stubbing it out in the ashtray. “Then why are you here?”
You shifted on your feet, avoiding his gaze. Because you left. Because I thought I wanted you gone, but now that you are, I—
You shook the thought away, exhaling sharply. “I just… I thought you would’ve left.”
Logan arched a brow. “And that bothered you?”
You hesitated.
That was enough of an answer.
Logan sighed, leaning back against the bed, arms resting behind him. “You told me to back off. So I did.”
You scoffed. “You don’t listen to people.”
Logan smirked slightly. “Guess you ain’t people.”
You hated how easily that threw you off balance.
Your throat tightened. “I don’t—”
“I ain’t askin’ for anything,” Logan said, cutting you off. “Not chasin’ you. Not pushin’ you. I meant what I said—I don’t wanna force you into anything.”
You swallowed hard. “Then why are you still here?”
Logan’s gaze didn’t waver. “Maybe ‘cause I don’t want to leave, either.”
The air in the room felt heavy. Stifling.
You had spent so much time running, so much time convincing yourself that pushing him away was the only option. But now, standing here, looking at him—tired, frustrated, but still here—you didn’t know what the hell you were supposed to do anymore.
You took a slow breath, forcing your voice to stay steady. “You were… right.”
His brows furrowed slightly, like he wasn’t sure what part you were referring to.
You swallowed, crossing your arms tighter over your chest. “What you said. About grief. About moving on feeling like a sin.”
Logan stayed quiet, but his gaze sharpened, locking onto yours.
You exhaled, shaking your head. “I spent years running because it was easier. Because if I stopped, if I let myself…” You trailed off, fingers curling around your arms. “Then it would feel like I was betraying him. Like I was forgetting him.”
Logan’s jaw tightened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.
Your throat felt tight, but you forced yourself to keep talking. “I tried to build something new with Laura. I wanted to. And for a while, it worked. Seven years in Canada, we were okay. We were living, not just surviving. And then—” You exhaled sharply, shaking your head. “The TVA happened. The Void happened. And suddenly, it was like all that time meant nothing.”
Logan was still watching you, but his expression was unreadable, his hands resting on his thighs as he leaned forward slightly.
“Then you showed up.” Your voice was quieter now. “And I didn’t know what the hell to do with that. Because I knew you weren’t him. I knew that. But every time I looked at you, every time you called me ‘darlin’ and looked at me like you knew me…” You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “It just made me feel like I was losing him all over again.”
“I mean, I can’t even take off my damn wedding ring,” your voice cracked, “without feeling nauseous even though it’s been years.”
Logan’s gaze flicked down to your hand, to the ring still wrapped around your finger. His jaw clenched, something flickering in his eyes—something you didn’t want to name.
“You think that’s wrong?” he asked, voice low.
You swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”
Logan exhaled through his nose, shifting forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees. “Ain’t wrong to hold onto what matters.”
Your fingers twitched, curling slightly, but you didn’t look away. “Then why does it feel like it is?”
Logan was quiet for a moment, studying you. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, steadier. “Because you think lettin’ go means losin’ him.”
Your throat tightened, but you didn’t answer.
Logan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I ain’t gonna tell you to take it off. Ain’t gonna tell you to move on, either.” He leaned back, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles. “That’s gotta be your choice, darlin’.”
Something about that made your stomach twist. Maybe because you had spent so long convincing yourself you had to move on, that moving on meant leaving Logan behind—your Logan. The one who wasn’t sitting in front of you.
But then Logan spoke again, and his next words shattered every bit of resolve you had left.
“You ain’t the only one holdin’ on.”
Your breath caught in your throat.
Logan reached into his pocket, pulling something out—something small, something old. He turned it over in his fingers before setting it on the nightstand beside him.
A ring.
Gold, simple, worn from time.
Your stomach flipped.
“I bought this the first time I met you,” he said, voice rough. “A long time ago. Different you. Different me. But you always come back, don’t you?”
You stared at the ring, your heartbeat hammering against your ribs. “Logan—”
“I kept it,” he muttered, rubbing his thumb over the band. “Every time. Even when I knew I’d lose you again.” He exhaled slowly, shaking his head. “And every time, I tell myself I won’t go through it again.”
You swallowed hard. “But you do.”
Logan smirked slightly, but there was no humor behind it. “Yeah. Guess I do.”
Silence settled between you, heavy with everything left unsaid. The motel room felt smaller now, the air thicker. Your fingers twitched at your sides, your chest tight with something you weren’t ready to name.
Finally, you moved.
You walked forward, slow but deliberate, until you were standing right in front of him. Logan didn’t move, didn’t speak, just watched you with that same patient, knowing look.
And then—hesitantly—you sat down next to him.
Not close enough to touch. Not close enough for it to mean anything.
But not far, either.
Logan didn’t say a word.
And for the first time in a long time, neither did you.
---
A few weeks later
You were cooking dinner while drinking a glass of wine—or rather the whole bottle. It wasn’t your fault you had a high alcohol tolerance.
“Jesus, fuck kid!”
“You started it!”
You furrowed your brows, stepping onto the back porch, wine glass still in hand. The salty ocean breeze brushed past as you leaned against the wooden railing, watching Logan and Laura circle each other in the sand.
The backyard—if you could even call it that—was part of a private beach, the stretch of sand leading straight into the rolling waves. Normally, it was peaceful. Right now? Not so much.
Logan huffed, rolling his shoulders. “Yeah, and I’m endin’ it.”
“Doubt it,” Laura smirked before lunging again.
You sighed, watching them spar. To anyone else, it probably looked brutal—claws flashing, sand kicking up with every hit—but you knew better. This was bonding. In the weird, violent, feral way that only the Howlett bloodline could manage.
Laura landed a punch against Logan’s ribs, but he barely flinched. He countered by grabbing her wrist and twisting her to the ground, pinning her for a brief second before she slipped free and jumped back to her feet.
“You two done trying to kill each other?” you called out, swirling the wine in your glass.
Logan scoffed, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow. “She’s the one that don’t know when to quit.”
Laura grinned, unfazed. “Neither do you.”
You huffed a quiet laugh before pushing off the railing. “Dinner’s almost done. Either finish up or starve.”
Neither of them responded, too caught up in the fight, but you knew they’d trail in soon enough. You turned and walked back inside, closing the sliding door behind you.
What you didn’t see was Laura catching Logan staring at your ass as you walked away.
She paused, then turned slowly toward him.
Logan blinked, realizing too late that he’d been caught.
“…Don’t,” he warned.
Laura smirked. “Too late.”
Then she lunged—only this time, it wasn’t part of the fight. She jumped onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck, and before Logan could react, she drove her foot claws into his ribs.
“Mother—fuck!”
Laura hopped off, landing perfectly on the sand while Logan stumbled forward, clutching his side. Blood bloomed beneath his shirt.
“That’s what you get,” Laura said simply, brushing sand off her hands.
Logan glared at her. “For what?!”
“For being gross.”
Logan clenched his jaw, nostrils flaring. “I wasn’t—”
“Yeah, you were.” Laura crossed her arms, looking unimpressed. “Don’t do it again.”
Logan groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jesus Christ, kid.”
Laura just smirked, turning toward the house. “C’mon, old man. Before she yells at us for being late.”
Logan sighed, running a hand through his hair before following her inside.
By the time they stepped into the house, you were already setting plates on the table. You barely glanced up—until you noticed the two fresh blood spots on Logan’s shirt.
You exhaled sharply through your nose. “Сраные идиоты,” you muttered under your breath.
Logan frowned. “What?”
“Nothing,” you said flatly. “Sit.”
Logan sighed, knowing better than to argue. He pulled out a chair and sat down, peeling off his shirt with a wince. Laura dropped into the seat across from him, completely unbothered, already helping herself to food.
---
You took another sip of coffee, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching as Laura shoveled cereal into her mouth at a pace that should’ve been illegal. Across the room, Logan sat in a chair, looking far too at home with his cup of coffee, flipping through the newspaper like it was 1954.
It was normal. Too normal.
You narrowed your eyes. “Why the hell are you reading the paper?”
Logan didn’t look up. “Why the hell are you watchin’ me read the paper?”
Laura snorted, not even trying to hide her smirk. “He’s got a point.”
You rolled your eyes, taking another sip of coffee. “It’s weird.”
Logan finally looked up from his paper, brow raised. “What’s weird?”
“You,” you said, motioning at him with your mug. “Sitting there, reading the paper like some suburban dad in a toothpaste commercial.”
Logan smirked, flicking the edge of the page. “It’s called keepin’ up with the world, sweetheart.”
Laura snorted. “You’re reading the classifieds.”
Logan flipped the paper shut with a sigh. “Well, excuse me for enjoyin’ the simple things.”
You shook your head, amused. It had only been a few weeks since he stopped lurking in the background and actually started integrating into your lives. He had a habit of acting like he didn’t belong—like he was just passing through, despite all evidence to the contrary. But moments like these, sitting at the kitchen table, bickering over nothing? They felt normal.
Not forced. Not heavy. Just… easy.
You were about to tease him again when the sound of a car horn blasted through the quiet morning.
Laura groaned. “You have got to be kidding me.”
Logan frowned, setting the paper aside. “Who the hell—”
Another honk. Longer this time.
“Motherfu—” You set your coffee down and turned toward the door, already knowing exactly who it was.
Logan followed, his expression somewhere between annoyed and resigned. “You expecting company?”
You grabbed the shotgun from beside the door, checking the chamber. “Nope.”
Laura smirked, leaning against the counter. “I call headshot.”
You smirked back. “Good luck. I’m faster.”
Logan sighed, rubbing his temples. “Jesus Christ. Just don’t kill ‘im.”
“No promises.”
You stepped onto the porch, raising the shotgun as you caught sight of Wade, standing beside his beat-up rental car, arms outstretched like some kind of messiah.
“Hello, my beautiful, homicidal family!” he called, grinning under his mask.
You pulled the trigger.
The first shot hit him square in the chest.
He staggered back, wheezing. “Okay—ow.”
You pumped the shotgun and fired again, this time hitting his shoulder.
Wade groaned, clutching his arm. “Rude!”
Logan stepped onto the porch behind you, arms crossed. “Really?”
You shrugged, pumping the shotgun again. “He’s still standing.”
Wade held up a finger. “Technically, I’m swaying.”
Laura stepped outside, standing next to Logan. “You missed his head.”
You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t miss. I’m savoring it.”
Wade straightened, shaking out his arms. “Alright, I deserved that. Maybe. Probably not. But—” He put his hands on his hips. “Didn’t expect the welcoming committee to include bullets.”
“You helped him find us,” you reminded him, motioning toward Logan with the barrel of the gun. “And then you just disappeared.”
Wade gasped. “Disappeared? Sweetheart, I gave you your own personal brooding, clawed man-child and then respectfully stepped aside so you could work through your very complicated feelings.” He tilted his head. “Which, judging by the tension on this porch, you’re still working through.”
You aimed the shotgun at his head.
“Okay! Okay!” Wade put his hands up. “I come in peace! No missions, no TVA bullshit, no looming apocalyptic threats. Just little old me, paying a visit to my favorite dysfunctional murder family.”
Laura tilted her head. “You brought gifts?”
Wade paused. “No.”
Laura looked at you. “Shoot him again.”
“Gladly.”
Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let the idiot talk before you put another hole in him.”
You exhaled sharply but lowered the gun. “Fine. Five minutes.”
Wade dusted himself off, cracking his neck. “I can work with that.” He strolled past you and into the house like he owned the place.
Logan shot you a look.
You just shrugged. “I’ll reload.”
Logan exhaled sharply, shaking his head as Wade strolled inside like he owned the place. You followed, setting the shotgun back in its usual spot near the door, but you kept an eye on Wade as he plopped onto the couch, boots kicked up on the coffee table like he belonged there.
Laura sat back down at the kitchen counter, spooning more cereal into her mouth as she watched the interaction unfold like a live-action sitcom.
Logan crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “So? You gonna explain why you’re here, or am I just supposed to shoot you myself?”
Wade sighed dramatically, tilting his head back. “Wow. No ‘Hey, Wade, long time no see!’ No ‘How’s life treating you, Wade?’ Just straight to the violence. And after everything I’ve done for you.”
“You didn’t do shit,” Logan muttered.
Wade gasped, clutching his chest. “I helped you find your long-lost murder wife and stabby daughter! And this is the thanks I get?”
You narrowed your eyes. “You helped him track us, then bailed. So yeah, not exactly getting a warm welcome.”
Wade sat up, waving a dismissive hand. “Oh, please. You two needed time to work through your very complicated emotions without my handsome, charming self getting in the way.” He glanced at Laura. “Right, stabby junior?”
Laura scooped another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. “Don’t call me that.”
“See?” Wade pointed at her. “Bonding. Growth. Character development. I did you all a favor.”
Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. “You got five minutes to explain why you’re here before I throw your ass back outside.”
“Fine, fine.” Wade rolled his shoulders. “Like I said, no missions, no apocalyptic disasters, no TVA crap. I just thought, ‘Hey, it’s been a minute since I’ve seen my two favorite feral murderers and their grumpy third wheel—why not drop in?’”
Laura swallowed her bite of cereal. “You came all this way for that?”
“Yes!” Wade threw his hands up. “Is it a crime to want to visit family?”
You scoffed. “We’re not family.”
“Well, no, but emotionally? Spiritually? Definitely.” Wade turned to Logan. “Especially you, big guy. We’ve got history. We’ve been through things. We’ve murdered people together. That’s a bond you don’t just throw away.”
Logan groaned. “Christ.”
Laura wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “You got a hotel or something?”
Wade grinned under the mask. “I was actually thinking I’d crash here.”
You, Logan, and Laura all responded in unison.
“No.”
Wade groaned, flopping back onto the couch. “You people have no hospitality.”
“We have boundaries,” you corrected.
“And I have a deep, unrelenting need to be included in your lives,” Wade countered, making himself comfortable.
Logan pushed off the wall. “You’re leavin’ in an hour.”
“Oh, c’mon, Logan, don’t be like that,” Wade whined. “I brought snacks.” He reached into his utility belt, pulling out a crumpled bag of gas station gummy bears.
Laura stared at them. “Are those even sealed?”
“Nope.” Wade shook the bag. “Still good, though.”
You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Jesus, Wade.”
“What? It’s the thought that counts.” He sat up again, stretching his arms. “So, what’ve you lovebirds been up to?”
“Don’t start,” you warned.
Wade leaned in, resting his chin on his hands. “Oh, I’m starting. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. And let me tell you—there’s a whole lot of unresolved, slow-burn, will-they-won’t-they going on.”
Logan scowled. “Ain’t shit goin’ on.”
Wade gasped. “So you admit there could be something going on?”
Logan turned to you. “Can I kill him?”
You took a sip of your coffee, considering it. “I mean, he’d just come back.”
Laura stood, grabbing her backpack from the counter. “I’m going to the beach. I don’t have the patience for this.”
Wade pouted. “Aww, leaving so soon?”
Laura slung her bag over her shoulder, grabbing an apple from the counter. “Yeah. Before I commit an actual homicide.”
You motioned toward the door with your coffee mug. “Have fun, don’t kill anyone.”
Laura pointed at Wade. “No promises if he follows me.”
Wade placed a hand over his heart. “I would never.”
Laura shot him a look before heading out, leaving the three of you alone.
Wade stretched his arms over his head. “Sooo… what’s next? Movie night? Group therapy? A good ol’ fashioned team-building exercise?”
Logan grabbed him by the back of his suit, hauling him toward the door.
“Alright, alright! I get it!” Wade protested, feet dragging against the floor. “I’ll leave! But just know this—I will be back. Because deep down, you all love me.”
Logan yanked the door open and shoved him outside.
Wade turned back, wagging a finger. “This isn’t over.”
Logan slammed the door shut.
Silence.
You took a sip of coffee. “Ten bucks says he comes back in an hour.”
Logan sighed. “I hate that you’re probably right.”
---
The smell of fresh coffee drifts through the small kitchen as you rummage in a cabinet for cereal. Laura, half-asleep in an old T-shirt and shorts, slumps at the table with her chin propped on one hand. Across from her, Logan reads the newspaper, though he’s not really turning the pages—more like staring at the same article, his focus wandering.
You pull out the cereal box, shaking it to confirm it still has something inside. “Any of you want a bowl, or am I the only one who still eats this?”
Laura mumbles without lifting her head, “I’ll take some. Didn’t we run out of milk yesterday?”
Logan finally looks up, folding the paper. “I grabbed some on the way home last night.”
You tilt your head, somewhat surprised. “You did?”
He shrugs, like it’s nothing. “Figured you two would appreciate not startin’ the day with black coffee and dry cereal.” He sets the newspaper aside, standing to help. “I’ll grab it.”
Laura lifts her head, eyeing the two of you with mild suspicion. “That’s… domestic.”
Logan huffs a soft laugh, opening the fridge. “You callin’ me soft, kid?”
She smirks, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Just making an observation.”
You slide a bowl across to her. “Say thank you, or he’s never doing anything nice again.”
Logan snorts, pouring milk into your bowl first. “You sayin’ I’m not nice?”
Laura just raises a brow. “You’re nice in a grumpy, borderline-feral way, sure.”
You stifle a laugh, taking the milk carton from Logan to finish up Laura’s bowl. “Settle down, you two. It’s too early for bickering.”
Laura mumbles a reluctant, “Thanks,” before digging in.
Logan leans against the counter, sipping from a mug of coffee. For a moment, there’s a quiet ease in the room: Laura’s crunching cereal, you adding sugar to your cup, the morning sun filtering through the windows. No drama, no big conversations—just normal, daily life.
Finally, Laura sets her spoon down, glancing at Logan over the rim of her bowl. “So… you’re picking me up after I’m done, right?”
Logan nods. “Figured I’d swing by. Unless you’d rather walk?”
She wrinkles her nose. “It’s like a hundred degrees. I’ll take the ride.”
You snort into your coffee. “Told you that you shouldn’t wear all black if you’re worried about the heat, muñeca.”
Laura shoots you a light glare, but there’s no real heat behind it. “I like black.”
Logan smirks, finishing the last of his coffee. “Kinda partial to it myself.”
Laura gestures at both your outfits—yours is a faded tank top and shorts, Logan’s wearing his usual jeans and a T-shirt. “We need a family shopping trip, or something. This color scheme is depressing.”
You exchange a glance with Logan, both of you raising a brow.
“Look, we’re not exactly the pastel type,” you say, shrugging.
Laura just sighs dramatically. “Fine. I’ll be the fashion icon in this house.”
Logan folds his arms, feigning seriousness. “I can’t wait to see what horrors you drag us into.”
---
Not long after breakfast, you find yourself sorting through a pile of laundry in the living room, music playing softly from an old radio. Logan wanders in from the porch, running a hand through his hair.
“Got your towels on the line,” he says, plopping down on the couch. “They should be dry by lunch.”
You raise a brow, folding one of Laura’s T-shirts. “Look at you, all domesticated.”
He grunts. “I know how to hang a towel.”
“Sure you do,” you tease, giving him a sideways look. “Next step: vacuuming.”
He picks an invisible speck of lint off his jeans. “Don’t push it.”
You fight a grin, focusing back on the laundry. It’s quiet for a bit, just the low hum of the radio filling the space.
Eventually, Logan clears his throat. “I was thinkin’,” he starts, somewhat hesitant. “We could grill tonight. Might as well enjoy the weather before it gets too hot.”
You pause, glancing his way. “Sounds good. Laura’s meeting with her friends later, but she’ll be back for dinner. We can pick up some extra stuff at the store.”
Logan nods, draping an arm over the couch. His gaze lingers on you a moment, like he wants to say more but isn’t sure how. Then he just nods again, quietly content.
You manage a small smile, folding another shirt. “Guess we’re doin’ normal pretty well these days, huh?”
“Could get used to it,” he murmurs, voice low.
Your eyes meet for just a second, something unspoken passing between you. Then you clear your throat, toss the shirt aside, and stand up. “Well, if we’re grilling, we might need marinade, and we’re nearly out of vegetables. Let’s go before the midday rush.”
Logan pushes himself up. “You want me to drive?”
You think it over, shrug, and toss him the keys. “Sure. Just… try not to side-swipe every car you pass.”
He catches the keys effortlessly, rolling his eyes. “I’m not that bad.”
“Says the guy who nearly took out a stop sign last week,” you retort, but there’s a teasing note in your voice.
He shakes his head, slipping on his boots. “You done with that laundry?”
“For now. Let’s leave it for Laura.”
Logan smirks. “Smart.”
---
Back from the store, groceries in tow, you find Laura sprawled on the couch, a book open on her lap. She looks up when you and Logan enter, arms loaded with bags.
“You got the stuff for the grill?” she asks, nose wrinkling. “Because all I see is lettuce.”
You frown, glancing down at your bags. “There’s more than lettuce, muñeca. Where’s the gratitude?”
She shrugs, turning a page. “Thanks, Mom.”
Logan sets his own bags on the counter with a grunt. “Everything else is in here, including that weird juice you like.”
Laura closes her book, swinging her legs off the couch. “You found it?”
He nods. “Took me five minutes to track it down, but yeah.”
A genuine smile creeps onto Laura’s face—rare, but it’s there. “Cool. Thanks.”
You give Logan a light nudge with your elbow, meeting his gaze and mouthing a silent “good job.” He just smirks, busies himself with unloading the groceries. For a fleeting moment, the three of you fill the small kitchen in quiet coordination—hands passing off produce, storing items in the pantry, the rustle of plastic bags and shuffle of feet the only sounds.
Eventually, Laura heads back to the couch, flipping open her textbook once more. You and Logan exchange a small, knowing look. No big conversation necessary—just an unspoken acknowledgment that this is how life is now: mostly ordinary, sometimes chaotic, but it works.
---
The storm rolls in fast, the Florida heat giving way to thick clouds and distant thunder. The air is dense with the smell of rain, the first few drops tapping against the windows as you toss a towel over the back of a chair.
“You get the towels inside?” you ask, glancing at Logan, who’s standing near the back door, watching the sky darken.
He grunts. “Got most of ‘em before the wind picked up. One got away.”
You arch a brow. “Got away?”
“Flew into the ocean.”
You huff a quiet laugh, shaking your head. “So much for that one.”
Outside, the wind picks up, bending the palm trees as the rain comes in steady now, streaking against the glass. Logan watches it for a moment longer before turning back to you. “Laura still at her friend’s?”
You nod, checking your phone. “She texted a little while ago. Said she’ll head back once the rain dies down.”
Logan doesn’t say anything, but you can tell he’s already debating whether or not to go pick her up himself. You shoot him a look before he can suggest it. “She’s fine.”
Logan rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue. Instead, he moves toward the fridge, pulling out a beer. “You eaten yet?”
You smirk. “That your way of asking if I’m making dinner?”
He cracks the bottle open, leaning against the counter. “Just curious.”
You shake your head, pulling open a cabinet. “We got leftovers from last night, or you can figure it out yourself.”
Logan takes a swig, watching you for a beat. “You really gonna make me fend for myself?”
“You’re a grown man, Logan.” You grab a bag of chips, plopping onto the couch. “Figure it out.”
Logan makes a low noise in his throat—something between a scoff and a chuckle—but he doesn’t move right away. He just watches you, something unreadable in his expression. You pretend not to notice, flicking on the TV, scrolling through the channels.
The storm grows louder outside, wind rattling against the house. Logan finally moves, taking his beer with him as he drops onto the couch beside you. The cushions dip under his weight, the space between you smaller than it was a moment ago.
For a while, neither of you speak. The TV flickers with whatever show you landed on, voices blending with the steady hum of rain. It’s comfortable, easy—until you realize Logan isn’t really watching.
You glance at him. “You good?”
Logan exhales through his nose, gaze still on the screen but unfocused. “Yeah.”
You tilt your head slightly. “Liar.”
He smirks, finally looking at you. “You always call me out on my shit?”
“Only when it’s obvious.”
His smirk lingers for half a second before fading. He takes another drink, resting the bottle against his thigh. “Just been thinkin’.”
You hum, reaching for another chip. “That’s dangerous.”
Logan snorts, shaking his head. “Smartass.”
You grin, but the amusement doesn’t quite reach your eyes. Because you know whatever’s on his mind, it’s not light. Not casual. Logan doesn’t bring things up unless they’re already weighing him down.
You shift, turning to face him properly. “What’s up?”
Logan runs a hand through his hair, exhaling. “This—” He gestures vaguely between the two of you. “It’s been… good.”
You blink, caught off guard. “Okay…”
His jaw tightens slightly, like he’s choosing his words carefully. “I ain’t used to it.”
You hesitate, fingers curling slightly against your leg. “Used to what?”
Logan glances at you, then looks away. “Not havin’ to fight.”
The words sit heavy between you. The wind howls outside, the rain beating against the roof in steady waves.
You let out a slow breath. “Yeah. Me neither.”
Logan’s fingers flex around his beer bottle. “Feels like any second now, it’s gonna get ripped out from under us.”
You study him, your stomach twisting at the quiet honesty in his voice. Logan isn’t afraid of a fight. But this? The lack of a fight? That’s unfamiliar territory.
You lean back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. “If it does, we’ll deal with it.”
Logan huffs. “That easy, huh?”
“No,” you admit. “But I’m too tired to do anything else.”
He’s quiet for a beat, then, voice lower—“Tired of me?”
Your chest tightens. You turn your head, meeting his gaze. There’s no teasing in it, no smirk. Just something raw, something cautious. Like he’s bracing himself for whatever you’ll say next.
You shift closer without thinking. “No, Logan,” you say softly. “Not you.”
His eyes flicker—something unreadable passing through them. His hand twitches slightly, like he’s debating reaching for you but stops himself.
You study him for a second longer before deciding you’re done waiting.
You grab his collar and pull him into a kiss.
It’s not soft. Not hesitant. It’s rough, heated—like you’re trying to prove a point neither of you have the words for. Logan exhales sharply through his nose, startled but not resisting. His fingers find your waist, grip firm, steady.
You tilt your head, deepening it, nails curling against his shirt. Logan makes a low noise in his throat—a sound you feel more than hear.
The beer bottle hits the floor with a dull thud, forgotten.
He pulls you onto his lap, hands splayed against your back. The kiss turns almost desperate, years of tension unraveling all at once.
You break away just enough to catch your breath, forehead resting against his. His breathing is uneven, his grip still firm like he’s afraid you’ll pull away completely.
“Thought you were tired,” he mutters, voice rough.
You smirk, brushing your thumb over his jaw. “Of everything but this.”
His fingers flex against your waist. “You sure?”
You tilt his chin up slightly, making sure he’s looking at you when you answer. “Yeah, Logan. I’m sure.”
Something shifts in his expression—something quiet, something settled.
Then he kisses you again, and this time, neither of you hold back.
---
The storm had passed by the time you stirred awake, the humid Florida air creeping in through the open window, mixing with the scent of salt and something undeniably Logan.
You weren’t the type to linger in bed—never had been—but this morning was different. You could feel the warmth of him beside you, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the weight of his arm draped loosely around your waist.
Your muscles ached—not in a bad way, but in the kind of way that made you very aware of what had happened last night.
You exhaled slowly, staring at the ceiling.
No regrets.
But a whole lot of what now?
You shifted slightly, and Logan’s grip tightened just enough to keep you from moving too far. “Where d’you think you’re goin’?”
His voice was thick with sleep, rougher than usual.
You smirked. “Didn’t think you were awake.”
Logan huffed against your shoulder, his breath warm against your skin. “Been awake. Just didn’t wanna move.”
You turned your head slightly, catching the lazy half-smirk tugging at his lips. “Didn’t peg you for the cuddling type.”
Logan grunted. “Ain’t cuddlin’. Just keepin’ you in place.”
You rolled your eyes but didn’t try to move again. “Right.”
The room fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound the distant crash of waves outside. Logan’s fingers traced absentminded patterns against your hip, his other arm still tucked beneath his head.
For a moment, it almost felt normal. Like you hadn’t spent months trying to ignore the inevitable.
Then Logan spoke.
“Not gonna lie,” he muttered. “Didn’t think this would happen.”
You arched a brow. “You doubting your own charm?”
He smirked, but there was something quieter beneath it. “Just figured you’d keep runnin’ circles around me first.”
You exhaled through your nose, dragging a hand down your face. “Jesus. I should’ve just left in the middle of the night and really kept you on your toes.”
Logan’s grip tightened slightly. “You wouldn’t.”
You didn’t answer right away. Because he was right.
Logan let out a slow breath, his thumb brushing against your side. “So what now?”
You thought about it. About the last few months, about the way you and Laura had built something here. About the way Logan had been circling your life since the moment he showed up, waiting, watching, never pushing—until last night.
“I don’t know,” you admitted. “But I’m not going anywhere.”
Logan was quiet for a second, then, “good.”
You smirked. “That easy, huh?”
He huffed. “For once.”
The weight between you didn’t feel as heavy anymore. You weren’t thinking about the past, about the other Logans, about the lives you’d lost before. For once, you weren’t overthinking.
You glanced down at your left hand, the ring still on your finger. You twisted it around, feeling the weight of it—the warmth that had long since faded, but never really left.
Logan didn’t say anything. Didn’t move. Just watched, his jaw tight, his fingers flexing slightly against your hip like he wasn’t sure if he should reach for you or give you space.
You exhaled slowly. Then, before you could talk yourself out of it, you pulled the ring off.
The absence of it was immediate. Like a phantom limb, like something missing that had been part of you for longer than you could remember.
You held it between your fingers, staring at the small, worn band. The gold was a little dull, edges softened from years of wear, of fights, of moments that felt so distant now you weren’t sure if they were even real.
Logan stayed silent, watching.
You swallowed hard, bringing the ring up to your lips, pressing a kiss to the cool metal. A quiet farewell. A promise that none of it had been lost, that it still mattered.
Then, carefully, you set it down on the nightstand.
Logan exhaled through his nose, shifting slightly beside you. “You sure?”
You looked at him. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes—God, his eyes. Like he was bracing himself, waiting for you to regret it, waiting for you to pick it back up, waiting for you to tell him this was a mistake.
But it wasn’t.
You reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. His palm was rough, familiar and unfamiliar at the same time.
“I’m sure,” you murmured.
Logan studied you for a long moment, like he was trying to decide if you meant it. Then, after a beat, his shoulders relaxed, just slightly. He turned his hand, squeezing yours, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.
Neither of you said anything after that.
Because for the first time in years, there was nothing left to say.
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so i don't know if people caught it, but i thought i would just say it-the whole arc of logan was the fact that he always left his version of reader but this time he stayed. which is the reason he stayed in florida even when reader didn't want him there. i don't know if i made it obvious or not but i thought i would just put it out there
anyways, i hope this lived up to people's expectations :)
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minicookiedemonx · 2 days ago
Text
HEAT OF THE MOMENT
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Hi my writer name is mini, I used to write a lot of smut when I was younger but lost interest. But I’m back with a bang! I hope somebody enjoys this. This is my first post to this community and I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far! I don’t know how to set mine up too look as cool as everyone else’s :p.
Edit credit @ myself
Summary: Fem reader POV; You cause a scene at a local bar causing Officer Gojo to escort you off the premises. The reader is alluring, seductive and teasing him with lust. Causing Officer Gojo to then lose his composure and disregard protocol.
Warnings; rough, jjksmut ,gojosatorusmut ,NFSW , outdoor sex, authority-kink, creampie, nofluff , gojosmut, gojoxfemreadersmut, hair pulling, fingering, breast sucking.
Word count; 2k
The bar was alive with chaos—laughter, shouting, the clinking of glasses—but none of it compared to the scene you were making at the center of it all. You weren't even sure how it had escalated this far, but the combination of spilled drinks, a bruised ego from the guy you'd argued with, and the bartender's exasperation had turned a fun night out into something more... memorable.
"Miss, you need to calm down," the bartender said, his patience clearly worn thin.
You rolled your eyes, leaning on the counter with a playful smirk. "I'm calm. Maybe you're the one who needs to relax. How about a drink? On the house, perhaps?"
Before the bartender could respond, the door to the bar swung open, and in strode Officer Gojo Satoru. His presence commanded attention instantly—tall, broad-shouldered, and wearing an air of authority that clashed with the cocky smirk he wore so effortlessly. His uniform fit him a little too perfectly, and his white hair, pushed back in a carefree style, gleamed under the dim lights. He slid his shades down just enough to scan the room with those piercing blue eyes.
You froze for half a second, watching as he approached with a slow, deliberate stride. The murmurs in the bar quieted as he stopped in front of you, towering over you with an air of unshakable confidence.
"Miss. Y/N," he said, his voice calm but edged with annoyance. "I heard you've been causing some trouble."
You gave him your most innocent smile, tilting your head as you looked up at him. "Trouble? That doesn't sound like me. I'm just having a little fun."
His gaze was unamused, his smirk faint but sharp. "Yeah, well, your 'fun' just earned you a call to the police. So, either you come with me quietly, or we can make this a lot more complicated."
You couldn't resist pushing your luck. "Come on, Officer. You don't really want to arrest me, do you? You've got those gorgeous eyes, that perfect jawline—wouldn't you rather stay here and let me buy you a drink?"
The bartender audibly sighed, but Gojo didn't flinch. He leaned forward just slightly, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him, his voice dropping lower. "Flattery doesn't work on me, sweetheart. Try again."
"Oh, but you can't blame a girl for trying," you said, your grin widening as you let your eyes linger on him just a little too long. "What about a smile? Surely I can charm a smile out of you?"
Gojo's lips twitched, but he didn't budge. Instead, he grabbed your wrist gently but firmly, his grip unyielding as he straightened up. "That's enough. Let's go."
Your grin faltered for a moment as he pulled you away from the counter, his calm yet authoritative demeanor leaving no room for argument. Still, you couldn't help yourself. "You really know how to kill the mood, you know that?"
"You'll thank me later," he replied dryly, his voice laced with sarcasm as he led you through the crowd. His hand on your wrist was firm, but not harsh, and you couldn't help but admire the way he handled you with such practiced ease.
As you were escorted out of the bar, you glanced over your shoulder, tossing a playful smile his way. "So, Officer, do you do this for all the pretty girls, or am I just special?"
He rolled his eyes, though there was the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "You're definitely... something."
Once outside, he released your wrist but positioned himself squarely in front of you, his imposing figure blocking your escape. His shades were now perched on top of his head, those sharp blue eyes boring into yours.
"Listen," he said, his tone serious. "I'm going to give you one chance to walk away and go home. No more scenes, no more trouble."
You crossed your arms, tilting your head with a sly smile. "What if I don't want to go home? What if I want to stay out here... with you?"
His jaw tightened, and for the briefest moment, you thought you saw his confidence waver. But then his smirk returned, more smug than before. "Y/N, I've got more patience than most, but you're really pushing it."
You stepped closer, just enough to challenge him. "Or maybe you like being pushed."
His expression hardened, his voice dropping low. "This isn't a game."
"Oh, but it could be," you whispered, your voice dripping with mischief.
"Alright, Y/N," he said, voice low and steady. "Here's the deal. You're going to calm down, and we're going to the station. No more games."
You smirked, leaning your back against the cold brick wall behind you. "Games? I think you're the one making this more serious than it has to be. I was just having fun, Officer."
He stepped closer, his broad shoulders cutting off the light and casting a shadow over you. "Fun? You think dragging me out here in the middle of my shift is fun?"
You tilted your head, your lips curving into a playful grin. "I didn't drag you anywhere. You came all on your own. Besides, maybe you like this more than you're willing to admit."
His blue eyes narrowed behind his shades, which now sat low on his nose. "I told you to stop pushing me."
You shrugged, unbothered. "And I told you I don't think you'll do anything about it."
That was all it took. Before you could blink, Gojo spun you around and grabbed your wrists, pinning them above your head, pressing his body against your back with enough force to make your heart race but not enough to hurt. You could feel his member betray his non-intrested demeanor by rubbing into your ass. You could feel how deeply excited he was- even if he didn't want to admit it.
"I warned you," he said, his voice dangerously low, his breath hot against your ear. "But you just can't help yourself, can you?"
You met his gaze head-on, unflinching, your smirk still intact. "What can I say? I like seeing you lose control."
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, it looked like he might snap. But then he pulled back abruptly, releasing your wrists and stepping away as though the mere proximity was too much. He reached into his belt and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
"You're under arrest," he said coldly, his voice hard and professional once more.
Your grin only widened as he spun you around, snapping the cuffs onto your wrists with practiced ease. "Aw, Officer, you didn't have to go to all this trouble just for me."
"Keep talking," he muttered, steering you toward his patrol car as he read you your rights.
He opened the back door and guided you inside, his touch firm but careful. As he climbed into the driver's seat and started the car, you couldn't help but notice the tension in his shoulders, the way his hands gripped the steering wheel a little too tightly.
The drive to the station started in silence, the hum of the engine filling the air. But you couldn't resist.
"So, Officer Gojo," you began, your voice lilting with amusement, "is this how you spend all your nights? Arresting harmless bar patrons and pretending you're not ridiculously attractive?"
"Y/N," he warned, his eyes focused on the road, his voice tight.
"What?" you asked innocently. "I'm just making conversation. It's not my fault you've got this whole 'hot cop' thing going on. You must get this all the time."
He didn't answer, but you caught the way his jaw clenched, his knuckles whitening as his grip on the wheel tightened.
You leaned forward as far as the cuffs and seatbelt would allow. "You know, you're kind of cute when you're pretending to be all serious. I wonder what it would take to make you crack."
"Stop," he said through gritted teeth.
"Stop what?" you teased. "I'm just talking. It's not like I'm doing anything wrong. You wouldn't pull over just because I said you had nice eyes, would you?" Gojo ignored you and you sighed with annoyance. You weren't going to give up that easily.
"Honestly the way you pressed me against that wall back there...made me kind of hot. You know...down there?" I spread my legs open slowly, unsure if he could see me do so but regardless they opened wide.
Officer Gojo remained silent, determined to remain calm and collected.
"So hot that when I go home tonight, and I touch myself, I might just think about that to get me off," you paused for a second. "Do you like the thought of that? Me all alone in my bed, circling my clit while moaning your name," you rolled your head back onto the head rest and jokingly moaned his name, "Ohh Officer Gojo,  just saying your name makes me so wet."
That was the last straw. Without warning, Officer Gojo pulled the car to the side of the deserted road, the tires crunching against gravel as he shifted the car into park. He got out and made his way to the back door, opening it furiously, meeting your gaze with extreme frustration in his eyes.
"Y/N," he said, his voice low and rough as he leaned closer towards you through the door. "I've been patient. I've been professional. But you just don't know when to quit, do you?"
You smiled, unbothered by his sudden intensity. "Maybe I just like getting under your skin. Seems like I'm pretty good at it."
He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair before leaning closer, his face inches from yours. "Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you're asking for?"
"Trouble?" you echoed, your voice soft and teasing. "Is that what you call this? Because I think you're the one who's in trouble, Officer."
His gaze flickered to your lips for just a moment before he closed his eyes, as if trying to collect himself. But when he opened them again, all the restraint was gone. "You don't know what you're doing to me."
"Then show me," you challenged, leaning forward just enough that your lips nearly brushed his.
Officer Gojo groaned, low and guttural, before finally giving in. His lips crashed against yours with a desperation that sent a jolt of heat through your entire body. The cuffs on your wrists pressed uncomfortably against the seat, but you didn't care. His hands were on you—cupping your face, tangling in your hair, pulling you closer as though he couldn't get enough.
When he finally pulled back, his breathing was heavy, his forehead resting against yours. "You're going to be the death of me, Y/N," he murmured, his voice rough and raw.
You smiled, still breathless. "Well, at least you'll die happy."
His lips collided with yours once again, meshing together with ease, you slipped your tounge in and his eagerly fought yours for dominance. One of his hand slide down from your face and under your shirt, onto your breast, gripping it tightly before pulling back and pinching your nipple.
You moaned into his mouth as he played with your breast, the excitement building inside you began to pool onto your panties. His lips remained locked onto yours as his hand travelled south before hiking up your mini skirt, revealing your black laced thong.
He pulled back to observe you, his face flushed as he panted. "You're going to get me in so much trouble," his fingers slide over your aching core, making sure to stop and focus on your hardened bud with a few quick circles.
You eagerly bucked your hips into his hands, whimpering for more. "Fuck you're so fucking wet," he groaned, using his fingers to push your panties to the side before running his fingers between your slits again as you oozed onto his fingers.
His thumb traced your clit, sending shivers throughout the your whole body as you felt the crisp air meet your wet core. Exposed and open, the only thing you were worried about is how soon you could get Officer Gojo to fuck you.
"You're such a fucking slut," Officer Gojo panted huskily, "willing to give up your pussy just to avoid jail time," he smirked dipping a finger into you, causing a loud gasp to escape your lips. He hummed at the sound, "But if you let me fuck you like the slut you are, it might work out for you." Officer Gojo stated with a smirk, locking eyes with you.
Your head rolled back with ecstasy as you felt his fingers curl in an upward motion behind your cervix. His fingers were so fucking long and they were hitting all the right spots. You were a gasping, moaning mess, you gazed down to Gojo to see his eyes locked onto your pussy.
Watching as his fingers moved in and out of you with an urgency that signaled he was having just as much fun as you were. He looked up at your gaze, locking eyes with you.
His gaze was no longer cold and harsh, but filled with desperation and lust. He added another finger before he starting pumping into your pussy effortlessly. The cuffs were digging into your wrist behind you, it stung but you could care less- it honestly made things hotter.
He observed you as he finger fucked you into oblivion, the way his fingers curled inside you had you craving for more. You wanted him-no needed him inside you. You turned your gaze down to his crotch and saw how tight the fabric around his dick had gotten.
The sight of him made you moan out desperately, "I want you inside me, I need you to fuck me," you said, panting inbetween words. He chuckled at the sounds of your desperation, "and...why should I do that" gojo stated with a low seductive tone, slowing the pace of his fingers.
"Because I'm your dirty little slut," you say with a smirk on your face, locking eyes with him as you pull his fingers out of you and latch your mouth around them, licking them clean.
Officer Gojo groaned at the sight and quickly grabbed you out the backseat and slammed you against the car. He pressed his chest to your back as he pinned your arms on top of your lower back.
His hips bucked into your ass, aggressively grinding his harden cock against your rear end. All this foreplay had riled Officer Gojo up to the point he felt as if his cock would burst from the seams if he didn't relieve himself soon. He kissed your neck as he pulled down your skirt and panties in one swift movement.
You heard his belt unbuckled and Officer Gojo undo his zipper rapidly. You went to turn around and greet his member but he roughly pushed you against the car. "You stay right there and look pretty while I fuck the shit out of you," he sternly stated, you nodded your head like a good girl.
He bent you over before spreading your legs, you felt him line his tip up with your aching core. He slapped it against your harden clit, causing you to hiss with desperation. You were so sensitive down there, however, you couldn't help but crave for more. He teasingly slide it between your slit, back and forth slowly before plunging deep into you.
You didn't get a chance to see his dick before it entered you but by the way it filled you up told you everything you needed to know. Officer Gojo moaned loudly as he entered you, taking his time with the first few strokes. Embracing the feeling of your tight, wet pussy griping all around his cock. It was almost too much for him to handle.
He began pounding into you with no mercy, the sound of skin clapping echoed as it blended with the sounds of the crisp breeze and eerily silence of the night. Officer Gojo was unfolding right in front of you, and you couldn't help but join him- fucking him had me  ecstatic.
"Fuck your pussy is so tight baby," Officer Gojo cooed as he gazed down, watching his dick slide in and out of you. He bit his lip in admiration, " and it looks so fucking good on my dick." He slapped your ass harshly while thrashing into you, you gasped at the sudden movement but quickly became the moaning slut gojo had turned you into.
He took a handful of your hair and pulled you back, finding ways to penetrate you in ways you have never imagined. You could hear Officer Gojo attempting to restrain himself from moaning loudly, whimpers left between his parted lips. The sounds drove you absolutely insane, you didn't take him for a whimper but you were loving every second of it.
"I can't believe you convinced me to do this to you," gojo stated, slowing his flow and pumping at a slow rate. "If you weren't such a desperate, needy fucking slut, I could be home by now." You moaned quite my as he fucked you through his lecture.
"But instead you have me in the middle of nowhere, losing my mind over how fucking good your pussy feels," and just like that gojo went right back to pounding you with no mercy. He needed to feel every inch of you, better yet- he needed to fill every inch of you.
You don't know how but he found a way to fuck you faster, even rougher, at this point no noise could espace your lips as he had fucked you into another dimension and you could barely process how good his dick felt inside you. You felt a familiar knot building in your lower abdomen.
"If you keep fucking me like that, I'm going to cum," you said breathless. A light clicked in Officer Gojo, his cock twitched in response. "Go ahead baby, be a good slut and cum all over my dick as I fill your pussy up," he was also breathless, he voice slightly cracking.
He pounded roughly into you until your pussy grasp and pulsated on his cock, triggering for him to spill every drop of cum inside you. It felt good, it felt amazing cumming on top of him as he filled you up. You were convinved there was no better feeling than fucking officer gojo.
He stepped back and pulled himself out of you, tucking his member back into his underwear and redressing. You turn to look at him, your face covered with red and beads of sweat. A smirk lacing your lips,
"So officer Gojo, are you still going to arrest me?"
-
HOPE YALL ENJOYED! MORE TO COME!
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hjvi · 23 hours ago
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𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝑼𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅
Pairing: Bsf!Chris Sturniolo x Fem!Reader
Summary: After burying your feelings for Chris for years, you're caught off guard when jealousy resurfaces, watching him with another girl. requested
Word Count: 2k
You’ve known Chris for as long as you can remember. His laugh is unmistakable—the kind that echoes, rich and deep, bouncing off walls and filling every corner of the room with warmth. He’s always been loud, full of life, and incredibly magnetic, effortlessly drawing people in with his charm. But for you, it was always more than that.
You knew him long before you started feeling this way—long before his tousled brown hair, with the hints of sun-kissed highlights, started looking a little too perfect in the way it fell over his forehead. Before his blue eyes started making your stomach twist in a way you could no longer ignore. Before you started noticing the little things, like the warmth of his hand when it brushed against yours, the way he’d throw his arm around your shoulders during movie nights with the group, the way he’d pause mid-sentence, just to smile at you like he couldn’t help himself.
For so long, you’d been his best friend—the quiet one, the one who had always been there for him, laughing at his jokes, listening to his stories, offering support. But recently, it started to feel different. You started noticing things—small things—that never bothered you before. His smile. How it lingered just a little longer when he looked at you, how his eyes would soften when you spoke about something that mattered to you. The way he would rest his hand on your shoulder casually when you were hanging out, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
But you couldn’t admit it—not even to yourself. Because how could you? He was Chris, your best friend. Your partner in crime, the one you could tell everything to, the one who made you laugh when you felt like crying. If you told him how you felt, you were terrified it would ruin everything. You couldn’t lose him, not like that. Not over something as silly as a crush.
Ever since Chris and I were kids, he had the biggest crush on me. His brothers would tease him relentlessly, making exaggerated kissing noises every time he so much as looked at me for too long. Everyone knew. It was an unspoken truth, something that just existed between us, a constant presence I never had to question.
It lasted for years. And I never thought much of it—Chris always asking me dumb questions just to talk to me, always finding excuses to sit beside me, always looking at me like I hung the stars in the sky. It was just Chris being Chris.
Until he stopped.
I don’t know exactly when it happened, but one day I realized he didn’t ask me those corny things anymore. He didn’t try to sit closer. He didn’t stare at me like I was his entire world. And I should’ve been relieved, should’ve been grateful that the teasing from his brothers had finally died down.
But I wasn’t.
I missed his attention. I missed knowing I was the center of his focus..
I remember the first time we formally talked about our crushes. It was in middle school, sprawled out on his bedroom floor, tossing a stress ball back and forth.
"I kinda like Sophia," he had admitted, his voice casual, like he wasn’t saying something that made my stomach twist.
Sophia. The blonde that every guy liked. The one with the kind of effortless beauty that made people gravitate toward her. Of course, he liked her.
I had forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah? She’s cool."
Chris studied me for a second before tossing the ball again. "Who do you like?"
I froze. My heart stuttered, my mind scrambling for a name that wasn’t his.
Because for the first time, I realized—I liked Chris.
And it terrified me.
"I don’t know," I lied, shrugging. "Haven’t really thought about it."
He smirked. "Liar."
I laughed it off, quickly changing the subject, but the truth sat heavy in my chest.
The weight of unspoken words had never felt heavier than it did now. For as long as I could remember, Chris had been my person. My best friend. The one I could always count on to make me laugh when the world felt unbearable. The one whose presence alone made everything feel lighter. But somewhere along the way, things had shifted. My laughter lingered a little too long when he cracked a joke. My heart raced a little too fast when his hand brushed against mine. My eyes searched for him in every crowded room, drawn to him in a way I knew wasn’t just friendly.
I had fallen in love with him.
And I never told him.
I buried those feelings so deep inside me, convinced that if I ignored them long enough, they would disappear. Because why would someone like Chris ever look at me that way? He deserved someone beautiful, effortless—someone who didn’t trip over their own words when he smiled at them. And if I ever told him, it would ruin everything. So I stayed quiet. I convinced myself that being his best friend was enough.
But then, Leah came into the picture.
At first, it was just a passing thought. You knew about her, of course. She was friends with the group, always hanging out with them, just like you. But over the past couple of weeks, things had changed. You’d noticed the way Chris started talking about her more—how he’d smile a little brighter when her name came up, how he’d mention things they’d done together, and how his eyes would light up when he talked about her, in a way that he’d never looked at you.
It was a gradual shift, but one you couldn’t ignore.
It started small at first. The way he talked about her. A girl whose name I had never needed to remember before, but suddenly, it was everywhere. Her laugh, her texts lighting up his phone, the way his eyes sparkled when he mentioned her. And then I saw it—the way he looked at her, and it shattered me.
I had spent so long pretending that I was okay just being his friend, but now, I couldn’t pretend anymore. Every time he smiled at her, it felt like a knife to the heart. Every time I saw her name flash on his screen, I wanted to disappear. Because it wasn’t me. It would never be me. And the thought of that—of watching him fall in love with someone who wasn’t me—was unbearable.
So I started pulling away.
At first, Chris didn’t notice. He’d text me, and I’d reply hours later, blaming school or sleep. When he called, I let it ring until it stopped, my fingers hovering over the answer button, aching to hear his voice but knowing it would only hurt. I started making excuses, avoiding plans, choosing solitude over his company.
But Chris wasn’t stupid.
It was a Thursday when everything came to a head. The weather was unusually warm for an early spring evening, the sunlight streaming through the window in Chris’s room as you sat next to him, legs stretched out on the floor. Chris had his headphones on, scrolling through his phone while you were lost in thought. The space between you both felt wider than ever, like something had shifted and you couldn’t put it back.
He was talking, his voice full of energy, but you weren’t really listening. You were too focused on the way his laugh sounded when he mentioned Leah’s name—how much joy seemed to be wrapped in that one syllable.
“Yeah, Leah and I were talking about going to that concert next month,” Chris said, not even noticing the way your heart dropped at the mention of her.
You forced a smile, trying to keep the sadness from showing. “That sounds fun,” you said, trying to keep your voice light. You bit your lip, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill over. It was becoming harder and harder to control them.
Chris pulled his headphones off and turned to you, his eyes narrowing in concern. “You sure you’re alright?” he asked, his voice softening. He reached out to touch your arm, and his touch made your heart race for all the wrong reasons.
“I’m fine,” you whispered, your throat tight. You didn’t know how to explain it to him—not without feeling like a fool. How could you tell him that you were in love with him, that every moment with him was a reminder of what you could never have?
This was just the beginning of the interrogations
“Okay, what the hell is going on with you?” he asked one evening, barging into my room without warning, his blue eyes sharp with concern.
I sat frozen on my bed, my laptop open in front of me, though I hadn’t typed a single word in the past hour. My heart slammed against my ribs. “What?”
“Don’t play dumb, dude. You’ve been weird. Distant. You barely talk to me anymore.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Did I do something?”
Yes, I wanted to scream. You fell for someone else. And you didn’t even notice it was breaking me.
But instead, I shook my head. “I’m just busy, Chris.”
“Bullshit,” he shot back immediately, crossing his arms. “You’re avoiding me.”
I swallowed hard, looking anywhere but at him. “I’m not.”
He sighed, stepping closer, his voice softer this time. “Then why won’t you look at me?”
Tears burned at the back of my eyes. I clenched my fists, willing myself to keep it together, but it was useless. The pain, the jealousy, the heartbreak—it was all bubbling to the surface too fast for me to stop it.
“Chris,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “Please just drop it.”
“No,” he said firmly. “I won’t. Because you’re hurting, and I don’t know why.” He hesitated, searching my face. “Is it something I did?”
The lump in my throat grew, and before I could stop myself, a single tear slipped down my cheek. “You didn’t do anything.”
Chris’s face fell, his expression crumbling as he reached for me instinctively. “Then why are you crying?”
He leaned in closer, his warm blue eyes locking with yours, and you could feel the weight of his gaze. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
He froze, and you felt his hand gently tug at your chin, pulling your face back toward him. His eyes were wide with concern, his usual teasing expression replaced by one of deep, genuine worry.
The words hung in the air, and for a moment, everything felt too heavy. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and the vulnerability you’d been hiding for so long threatened to break free. You looked at him, his face so close to yours, his genuine concern written all over his features, and it hit you like a wave.
And just like that, the dam broke.
I sucked in a shaky breath, my entire body trembling. “Because I can’t do this anymore,” I admitted, my voice cracking. “I can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t kill me to see you with her. I can’t keep acting like I don’t care when you talk about her, when you smile at her, when you—” I broke off, covering my face with my hands. “God, I’m so stupid.”
Chris stood frozen, his breath catching. “Wait,” he said slowly. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
I let out a bitter laugh, wiping at my tears. “I’m saying I love you, Chris. I have for a long time. And I never told you because I was terrified of ruining this—ruining us. But now, it doesn’t even matter, does it?” My voice cracked on the last words, my heart breaking all over again. “Because you’ve already found someone else.”
Chris’s expression shifted, his brows furrowing deeply. “Wait—what?” His voice cracked slightly, the shock evident on his face. He pulled you closer, his hands gently cradling your face. “You... you’re in love with me?”
The words felt like a breath of fresh air—like a confession you had kept locked away in the deepest part of your heart. But even as you said it, you weren’t sure what would happen next. Would he push you away? Would he laugh? Or would he... understand?
Silence.
My chest heaved, the room spinning around me. I didn’t know what I expected—maybe for him to let me down gently, to tell me he was flattered but his heart was elsewhere. Maybe even for him to walk away. But I didn’t expect what happened next.
Chris stepped forward, closing the distance between us. His hands cupped my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. His thumbs brushed away my tears, his touch so unbearably gentle it made my breath hitch.
“I—I’m sorry,” you stammered, wiping at your eyes, trying to suppress the tears. “I never wanted to say it. I didn’t want to ruin things between us.”
Chris was silent for a moment, his brow furrowing as he stood up slowly. He walked over to you and gently took your phone from your hand, placing it on the coffee table. His touch was light, his hand brushing against your fingers in a way that sent warmth rushing through you.
“Hey,” he said softly, kneeling in front of you so you were eye-level. “You don’t have to apologize for your feelings. It’s okay to feel what you feel.”
But you couldn’t stop the tears. They came in waves now, the floodgates opening. “I just thought… I thought I was fine,” you whispered through the sobs. “I thought I could handle it. But seeing you with her, seeing you get so close to her, it just—it hurts so much. I… I don’t know how to be around you anymore.”
Chris’s expression shifted from concern to something deeper—something you couldn’t quite place. He gently cupped your face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. His eyes were intense, a mix of confusion and something else—something you couldn’t decipher.
“You’re an idiot,” he whispered, shaking his head.
“You think I don’t feel it too?” he murmured, his voice rough. He gently pulled you into his arms, holding you close, his warmth enveloping you. “I’ve been trying to figure this out, too, you know.”
I opened my mouth to protest, to explain how I had felt so invisible, so forgotten. But his next words stopped me.
“I’ve been in love with you for so long, I’m pretty sure it’s written all over my face,” he said, his voice raw, unguarded. “But I never said anything because I thought you didn’t feel the same way. I didn’t want to mess everything up. But the truth is... I can’t stand seeing you hurt. I can’t stand the idea of losing you. I need you, and I always have.” Chris’s hands gently ran up and down your back, the touch comforting yet charged with emotion.
My breath caught in my throat, my heart hammering against my chest as his words sank in. I blinked rapidly, trying to process them, to keep my composure, but it was like everything inside me finally cracked open. All the years of pretending, of burying my feelings beneath layers of friendship and doubt, had been in vain. Chris—Chris felt the same way.
“You... love me?” I whispered, still not quite believing it, my voice trembling as I searched his face for any sign of doubt. But there was none. His gaze was steady, unwavering.
“I love you,” he said, more firmly this time. “Always have. Always will.”
The realization hit you then, like a weight lifting from your chest. He had been feeling the same way all along, hiding his feelings just as much as you had.
Without thinking, you pulled back slightly, looking up into his eyes, and that was when everything seemed to come together. The pain, the confusion, the years of silence... it all fell away. The only thing that mattered now was the connection between you two.
“Chris... I’m scared,” you whispered, your hands shaking slightly as you cupped his face.
He smiled softly, that familiar, reassuring grin that made your heart race. “I know,” he murmured, brushing your hair out of your face. “But we’ll figure it out. Together.”
My chest swelled with something I couldn’t quite name—relief, hope, joy—until it all broke free in a rush of emotion. Without thinking, I stepped forward, closing the distance between us. My hands found his chest, pressing against the solid warmth of him, and before I could stop myself, I was kissing him—softly, tentatively at first, as though testing the waters after a lifetime of waiting.
The moment our lips met, everything else faded into the background. At first, it was slow—tentative. His lips were soft against mine, his breath warm and steady. I could feel the tension in his body, like he was testing the waters, unsure if this was real. And then, just like that, it deepened. Chris’s hand slid to my waist, pulling me in closer, until there was no space left between us. His touch was gentle but firm, like he needed me, like he was afraid to let go. His lips moved against mine with a tenderness that made my heart flutter, each kiss a promise, each one a reassurance that this moment was more than just a fleeting desire.
I melted into him, my fingers finding their way to his chest, lightly gripping the fabric of his shirt. His heart was racing beneath my touch, mirroring mine. The kiss grew more urgent, but there was still a sweetness to it, a softness that made everything feel like it was happening in slow motion, like we had all the time in the world. His lips were warm and sure, coaxing mine to respond, to give in, and I did, losing myself in the sensation of him, in the feeling of finally being close to the one person I had secretly longed for.
But eventually, I had to pull away, gasping for air. The intensity of the kiss left me breathless, my body trembling from the closeness of it. I couldn’t think, couldn’t process anything beyond the overwhelming feeling of his lips on mine, of the warmth of his touch.
I pulled back just enough to catch my breath, my chest heaving as I looked up at him. His eyes were still closed, as if he were trying to hold onto the moment just a little longer. But when he opened them, he locked his gaze with mine, and in that moment, I saw something in his eyes I hadn’t expected—something so tender, so vulnerable.
He reached for me almost immediately, his hands gentle as he cupped my face, pulling me back toward him. His lips found mine again, but this time, it was softer—gentler. He kissed me with a tenderness that spoke volumes, as if he needed me as much as I needed him, and as if he had been waiting for this moment just as long as I had. His touch was no longer desperate, but filled with a quiet longing, a reassurance that we were in this together, that we had both found something we couldn’t bear to let go of.
His breath mingled with mine, warm and slow, as his forehead rested gently against mine. His hands moved to my back, holding me close, as if he never wanted to let me go. I could feel the warmth of his chest against mine, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under my fingertips, and it was like everything in the world had finally fallen into place.
“I’ve been wanting this for so long,” Chris whispered, his voice soft, almost a little shaky. “You’re everything to me, you know that?”
I nodded, my heart swelling with emotions I couldn’t quite put into words. The love in his voice, the way he held me like I was fragile, like I was something precious—it was everything I’d ever wanted. He gently brushed a strand of hair from my face, his fingers lingering against my skin for a moment longer than necessary, as if he was memorizing the feel of me, like he never wanted to forget this moment.
“Don’t pull away,” he whispered again, his voice thick with emotion. His eyes searched mine, the intensity in them soft but unwavering. “I need you here. With me. Always.”
I looked into his eyes, feeling the sincerity in his words, the depth of his feelings for me. His hands were still on my waist, holding me close but with a softness that made me feel safe, cherished.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered back, my voice a little shaky as I cupped his cheek, running my thumb across the stubble that had started to form there. “I’m right here.”
And with that, he kissed me again, slowly this time—more like a promise than a question. His lips were gentle against mine, like he was savoring the moment, making sure we were both fully present in it. There was no rush, no urgency, just the quiet certainty that we were exactly where we were meant to be. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me even closer, and I let myself get lost in him, in the feeling of finally being with the person I had loved for so long.
When we finally pulled away again, I could see the faintest smile tugging at his lips, and I knew that whatever came next, we would face it together. His hands gently cradled my face, and I could feel the tenderness in every touch, every look. He wasn’t just kissing me; he was showing me that he needed me, that he loved me, in a way that words couldn’t fully express.
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A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry if this feels a bit rushed – it's because, well, it kind of is. This was a requested piece, and I apologize it's not a full-length fic, but I really hope you still enjoy it! Things have been pretty busy on my end, but I'm hoping to dive into future requests with more plot and depth. Thanks again for your patience and support!
tags - @swagalicious260 @watercolorskyy @coquettechris @lovesturni0l0s @christmastreecake @ellbowmacaroni @blog-luvdance @sophand4n4 @meg4-matt44 @mommymomm @chriss-slutt @humpster35 @courta13 @idkwhatthisis2009 @yourfavoritefangirl @slutformatt17 @watercolorskyy @mylifeisevenstranger @suyqa @junnniiieee07 @thecrawlys
╰┈➤𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚, 𝒉𝒊𝒗𝒊
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hyperfocusthusly · 3 days ago
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Sweet things
@bucktommyfluffebruary - day two prompt ‘cooking together’
Notes: established relationship, domestic fluff, Tommy is too busy staring at his boyfriend to be an effective sous chef | Rating: G | Words: 700
[Read on A03]
——-
“Sorry I’m late!” Tommy calls through the house, “there was an accident, traffic was a nightmare.”
“That’s okay,” a familiar voice calls back. “I had to start without you.” Tommy comes into the kitchen to find Evan whisking a bowl of egg whites. “Need to keep on schedule so it has to bake and cool before we put it together.”
Tommy half remembers the 20 minute run down of why you have to let a meringue cool slowly, something to do with sudden temperature change causing cracks? In his defence he had been half asleep at the time, laid out on the sofa with Evan’s fingers carding through his hair.
Ever since Athena had assigned them the dessert portion of the menu for their barbecue this evening Evan had been spending every spare minute searching for the perfect thing to make. Several internet deep dives, three new recipe books and countless conversations later he had come to the conclusion that a pavlova would be perfect for the job.
“It’s the best of all things.” He had explained one evening, plastered against Tommy’s back while he did the washing up. “It’s crunchy and chewy, sweet but if you choose the right flavour crème, I was thinking passion fruit, then it’s not too sweet. Plus it’s light enough for after a big meal, perfect for a summer barbecue.”
Tommy comes around the kitchen island, rests his hand on Evan’s hip and presses a quick kiss to the back of his neck.
“Hope you didn’t do all of my jobs for me. I want to look Hen in the eye and tell her I helped make this thing, I’m pretty sure it’s high on her list of things she doesn’t believe are possible.”
Evan laughs,
“I need you to separate some more eggs, 3 yolks should do and then they need to go on a double boiler-” he shifts out of Tommy grasp, pulling the scales out of a nearby cupboard and measuring sugar into a bowl.
“I thought we were making meringue.”
“We’re making a pavlova, three key components; meringue, crème and fruit.”
“Oh yes of course, how could I forget the three key components.”
Evan pulls a face of mock shock at Tommy’s sarcastic tone.
“How indeed” he reaches up and taps the recipe card taped to the cupboard. “All the instructions are there if you need them.”
Tommy separates the eggs carefully, and puts them in a double boiler on the stove. He is stirring them gently when he feels Evan’s gaze boring into the side of him.
“Can I help you with something?”
Evan waggles his hand in the direction of the drawer Tommy is stood in front of.
“Can you pass me a spoon?”
“Sure.”
He digs one out and gives it to Evan, their fingers brushing over the handle. His gaze lingers on Evan for a moment too long.
“You know you have to stir those constantly right?”
“Mmm?” Truth be told, Tommy is a little less focused on the steaming bowl and more on his gorgeous boyfriend. He feels a bit lost with the way the afternoon sun is catching the lighter tones in Evan’s hair, lifting the golden tones of his skin.
Evan reaches over with the hand not currently occupied whisking egg whites and closes it over Tommy’s wrist, forcing him to stir the mixture.
“If you don’t they will scramble.”
“We can’t have that.” Tommy murmurs softly, still entranced by the way the light makes Evan’s eyes shine, picking up the different shades of blue in his eyes and making them sparkle.
Evan catches Tommy’s eyes and stops for a moment, his trademark frantic cooking energy slowing down as he looks at Tommy. He knows realistically that 24 hours is not a hugely long time to go without seeing someone but the way he feels immediately lighter under Tommy’s gaze makes him realise how much he misses him when he’s at work.
“Sorry,” he mumbles “I didn’t even say hello.”
“That’s okay baby, I know how important the structural integrity of meringues is to you.”
“You’re important to me too.”
Tommy smiles and Evan thinks he may never get tired of seeing it.
Tagging some beloveds (as always let me know if you want to be added/removed);
@leashybebes @livelaughlou @loucifersbitch @dark-alice-lilith @mmso-notlikethat @laundryandtaxesworld @bucksaiga @littlepaws9 @sad-girl-hours23 @evansbuck-ley @jamieroyjamieroy @typicalopposite
@moonydanny @teenmaximoff @bucksboobs @ohithankyou @bi-bi-buckleys @rubydaiquiri @hellion-child @aringofsalt @sweaters-and-silly @theotherbuckley @comfortingevanbuckley @epiphainie @wikiangela @bidisasterevankinard
@sunnywithachanceofbi @desert--moonchild @blitzynatural @actuallyitsellie @big-urchin-energy @fyrehose @buckleyskinards @owlgirl495 @honeyloulou @setmeatopthepyre @salty-autistic-writer @thecarrott
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h-sleepingirl · 2 days ago
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Dolly in the Art Gallery: A Charmed 2025 Scene Log/Recap
“Art is how we decorate space, and music is how we decorate time.”
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I first heard this Jean-Michel Basquiat quote in a rope class from Barkas, in the context of how we play within both space and time in a kink scene. I think about it frequently, especially as I feel more and more passionately about the brutally human impulse to create art.
I have been coming to hypnosis events since 2013, before Charmed existed -- my first event was packed with my own manic energy, held in a dungeon where people could hypnotize me basically at will. No hotel staff, no sneaking back to a private room. I developed a reputation as an aesthetically pleasing subject, often put on display in subtle and overt ways.
I have grown up in this community. Essentially my entire adult life has been spent involved in going to events and cons. I'm 33 now, and as Charmed celebrates its 10th year I've perhaps been unconsciously influenced to reflect on myself aging.
I feel so much older than that 21 year old exhibitionist. I'm more reserved, quieter, more selective, and certainly smarter. I like who I'm becoming, but I do miss parts of who I used to be -- that confidence, that energy. 
On Friday evening I looked at the schedule and saw there was going to be a Gallery of Living Art -- it's been a staple at Charmed for a number of years, but I'd never done more than peek inside.
I thought to myself: “Why not try to get in touch with that playful younger self? Why not show everyone who I am nowadays? Why not live out a fantasy?” 
Surely I’m not too old. Surely I haven’t grown out of this.
The time comes and I connect with my partner about it. He knows that one of my absolute favorite things is being totally frozen. We decide against anything complicated. No one will touch me or trigger me or anything like that. It’s the most “negotiating” we've maybe ever done, but I still leave all details to him. I tell him: “I was really just thinking this is an opportunity for me to sit blank and still for a long time.”
We walk into the room, and it’s overwhelming. People are setting up intricate exhibits with lots of creative interactions. There is a sheet we need to fill out to describe what our “art” is, which my partner writes on cryptically.
“Dolly can't talk. Duh…”
“Dolly is precious -- don't touch!”
Under “Artist”, where he is meant to put his name, he writes a question mark.
I am so in love with him, watching his mind work on the spot.
We find a place in the loud room and look at each other. We are a fluid force of nature in a bed together, spontaneous and wild. This planning doesn't feel like us. This hypnosis isn't a formality, per se, but it just feels sort of like “We both know how this is going to end on some level -- so how do we spend this time?”
He gingerly removes my name tag and starts murmuring to me. 
Being a dolly is such a luxurious treat that the moment he suggests it, I crumble, gripping his shirt with my weak little fingers, moaning too softly to be heard by anyone but him.
He poses me. He fixes my gaze blank and forward. He lets me practice standing and sitting. This kind of rehearsal is unfamiliar for us, and I almost relish doing something that feels a little awkward.
I am a dolly when he leaves me, frozen and posed, but I know it is going to take a couple minutes to settle in. I am a dolly getting comfortable, a dolly with twinges of self-consciousness. After a couple minutes he walks me over to a different chair, one that is highlighted by empty space around it, and I sit, and I know this is truly where I am supposed to be on display.
Finally, total stillness rushes over me like pure relief. 
I sit, and I stare, and I don’t do anything else. My mind is blank, and sometimes all there is inside my head is “I’m a dolly, I’m a dolly,” in my little dolly voice. It is pure, simple bliss.
People begin to come up to me to look at me. I am a good dolly and I am silent and I do not move even my eyes. They patiently read my sign and then observe me. I cannot change my body position to be any more or less appealing to them, I cannot hide nor flaunt myself.
Some people say things to me, little compliments and appreciations, and I can’t really process their words. The little dolly voice in my head screams in pleasure when I’m spoken to and given attention.
I have ADHD, I’m addicted to my phone, I’m a fidgeter. But there is nothing that carries the unique pleasure of being frozen and still. It reminds me of Quaker meetings, of spiritual silence and meditation that makes one feel time itself as though it has a sensory texture.
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel talks about the Jewish sabbath as proof that it is not intuitive for us to sanctify time. But nevertheless as Jews we must learn to do it to make shabbat holy every week. Shabbat is “a cathedral in time,” he says, and I’ve been thinking about how much that applies to my experience of hypnosis. Hypnosis is not a physical object. We may sometimes have props but we cannot touch trance and it leaves no marks. It is time that is the sacred dimension in hypnosis, the time that we set aside (“kadosh” in Hebrew) with another human being.
Heschel says we are slaves to space and material things. And in this moment I feel like I have gotten as close as I can to releasing that. I am not even moving my physical body within the physical world. I am just relishing each passing second of stillness, building my cathedral in time.
Of course, sometimes I think sacred space and objects are very important. After all, I am in a space that is incredibly rare, that only exists very briefly, that I had to travel at length to get to.
And I am an object -- art -- inside of it. I am literally decorating the space, as Basquiat would say.
Am I thinking all of this as I sit there motionless? No, not with any sophistication. I truly feel blank. But I am feeling flashes of this as abstract mental sensations that I will untangle later.
Something else strikes me very quickly that I observe within. When people walk up to look at me, something inside me tenses up. I realize that I am unconsciously preparing myself to talk to them. I have been coming to cons for so long, and especially since beginning to write books I always meet a ton of new people every year who come up to me to talk, which I adore. But right now I am in a space where I literally cannot have a conversation with anyone. I don’t even have my nametag on anymore -- my partner was so clever to remove it.
It is the opposite of vending books, where I sit in a chair and am helpless in the sense that I must engage in conversation with the people who come up to meet me. Now, I literally cannot talk to anyone, and they cannot talk to me, and most people may not even know who I am.
It is a hit of extreme objectification, more real than it has ever felt. I am not sleepingirl -- I am a dolly. “Who” I am doesn’t matter. I am art.
My partner also is not sitting there receiving compliments for me. He is nearby, in eyesight, just watching. But he’s anonymous too. And there is something about this mutual anonymity that makes me feel even prouder about us as a couple. There is no performance of who we are. I don’t know how to describe it, but obviously it feels more authentic than public play usually ever does. Like a little secret we are sharing a corner of.
And he looks ever the artist, sitting back and watching me. I feel very strongly that this little scene isn’t the art -- it’s me. Our relationship is what’s really on display. All the work he’s done over 7 years of brainwashing me, real work on my personality and identity, my wardrobe, every single way I express myself and who I am. The people coming by are seeing his bimbo, his dolly, his [x] -- without necessarily knowing who either of us are.
The rhythm is addicting. My mind babbles my self-given dolly mantra over and over, I luxuriate in the stillness, and I stare. I only can sort of half-see with darkened vision, though my eyes are wide. I love when people notice me sitting there -- their expressions change as they observe me. They step into my metaphorical space, which is eerily silent compared to the revelry of the creative demonstrations that fill the room. They are no longer “being entertained,” and no one can communicate to them what I am doing -- they must engage with me out of their own curiosity.
Sometimes they decide to talk to me. I can’t process most of it, but I remember a few interactions.
Someone says, “What an excellent dolly.”
Someone else notices that I’m wearing a bracelet that says “bimbo,” and says, “Even the details on this one are exquisite.”
Someone else says, “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen sleepingirl play before.”
That last one hits me in the gut with memories of a time now long past: Play in public spaces was universal at cons; I couldn’t move from one place to another without someone dropping me into trance; absolutely everyone knew what I looked like when hypnotized.
Even now as I am on display, I have a mask on, and the people can’t see my gently parted lips.
It is a rush of emotion that is very complex for my simple little dolly head, but it goes away.
For a long while, I just exist as a thing in bliss while the room -- the whole world -- bubbles with activity around me. 
Eventually even as I sit frozen and blank, a little timer starts ticking in my head -- I could sit here for much longer, but I don’t want to make him wait for me, and I have other things I want to do tonight.
Reading Heschel has been helping me release some of that odd panic that bubbles up when I awaken from trance -- the feeling that magic is slipping through my fingers, memories are slipping out of my mind, and I can take no memento from it. I sometimes write, draw, or make music to try to capture the things I feel in hypnosis with my partner. I think it is from that impulse to be able to touch and hold hypnosis, to make it a “thing” in space as opposed to something of time.
But I do think there is something else, just a human drive to create art about this transcendent experience that we engage in together. I need to create art to try to communicate the perfect way I don’t move and my eyes go glassy. I need to express my emotions, my desires, my dreams, my love. I am only human, a human blown away by this very human thing we do that we call hypnosis.
Only my partner sees it, and he does see so much into the soul of it for me. But this is exactly what I have wanted -- a chance to publicly communicate the beauty of what he and I do. To make this art by performing it, living it. To engage in a human act of creativity by having my humanity stripped away from me.
I am a bimbo, a dolly, I am art -- and that doesn’t go away when I get up to tell him I am done sitting here. I am his art. I am a manifestation of his creativity in this world, and he has a beautifully creative mind which I love so dearly.
This is serious for me, this is real for me, this is so highly personal and jealously guarded as my own precious identity.
Ten years ago I laid my head on his lap and he transformed my eyes into dolly eyes and told me that someday he would turn my whole body into a dolly body. And as we laid together in a bed after the Gallery on Friday he talked about how I had those dolly eyes again in that room. But to me, it’s not about being a dolly, or even being a bimbo. It’s about creating art together, art with a power imbalance. And fucking respecting that as sacred and exciting.
I don’t have much else to say except extreme heartfelt gratitude to Mazirian for running the Gallery, and everyone who came by to look at me and said nice things to me and joined me in my world for just a little while. 
(If you’re curious, I was sitting there for about 30 minutes.)
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