#but tumblr is blocked and so is gmail (and google stuff in general)

[velvet-games]

I genuinely need a hug after the completely unnecessary panic I just went through cause I thought I couldn't upload my art here anymore 😭

[marlaluster]

A dead end here n still going anyway (n i was talking here in the beginning too about the devil attacking me) .....

But the devil was attacking very bad this morning after I woke. It was making it not easy to poop, it was just a little to come out n it feels not like it was all there was to come out. "I am doing something w the poop," the devil said. But it was trying to make toilet water splash onto my butt some or a little. Then it was trying to make my pants fall to touch on the floor because I can be picky w that. I don't really wish to be picky. The devil does try to bring to mind things so i feel or seem aware of stuff touching this or that to seem gross. It just brought to mind my butt to touch the bed after seeming to be having some toilet water get on it. "I am not okay that you don't think it's okay here," the devil said. A break here. But very irritating it was attacking, it was like on the job or prowl. It's so very irritating. It's pressing my legs are to look bad, it's pressing that in my mind. I have a hard time trying to post photos w the blog not working so great presently n i cannot contact support. The devil making the send button not work on the page w the support option for Tumblr. "I am not allowed to do those things," the devil said. It has also been making Google mail not work for me. Rather Gmail is what it's called. I could try to get attention to that. The devil causes problems w Instagram as well. "I am something not logged not as here," the devil said after it was trying to press my hair was to seem to feel thing [things [thin]] in the upper or left side area. Then it made a seeming dandruff flake fall from my head. But very irritating attacking. I'm going to tell about a couple of things or I was thinking to, it is attacking very bad of something I was thinking to tell. It is making some irritation or something for me to mention it. But yesterday I was trying to tell Karla about some stuff I was thinking about medicine. I told her I was told no person would do what doctors do here validating disease as real, they are to be substantiating these horrible things that happen to people as things to be. They are nit something easy to get rid of or stop, like what is called here a heart attack or what is obesity here. It is something where it's something to stick around n be a formidable, substantial problem for people. I was told this after I was irritated n upset the devil chases n torments me about the diseases etc or stuff that's supposed to be wrong w me. I'm supposed to have problems w my teeth, it has pressed i was to seem possible to have heart problems, it was tormenting me I would have diabetes, etc. Those things, i said are not really treated as how I would say people probably would treat them really as i was told nobody would do what they're doing. The devil is trying to block my thoughts as im writing. It's extremely irritating. But one told Karla that would suggest something is not to be hard to get rid of n would be something to go away n not linger is if everyone was having an input on what to do n not just someone that's an expert n going to all the schooling etc. People as just people should be able to help, i said even a baby, i said even the lamp n other things n i said those things can talk but it is hidden here. But I was saying things being accessible n being things anyone could deal w or that a person could go to anyone for help if they needed help, this means mire that things that are bad etc are easy to get rid of n are treated as things not to be. The things are substantiated as formidable by it being something to study n have this specialized dealing n research, requiring a lab n formulas people don't generally know n things like microscopes. The devil heavily attacking my thoughts as im writing. It tried to press that i was to think of that people doing what they love is defense of themselves. It's trying to claim that thought now. IT'S SO INSANELY IRRITATING N SO OBSESSED. This society has a very weird treatment of what people are for. They all are equal, here it's pressed they're not. The devil keeps messing w my thoughts. But stuff is focused on as things that are not to be more than meets the eye is something. More, you could say, spiritual things dealing w emotional n like people's wishes n dreams etc are not things to consider really. I talked about this a long time ago, that people's feelings are not really respected. Lots of hurtful things are did as part of what's supposed to be operations. People don't wish fees n fines. People are really in a hostile environment. Stuff very hurtful is done n is not to be avoided really. Enemies among are not really supported n are not supposed to be a problem, a figure that would hurt someone in order to supposedly support things to be okay. There are court rulings, jailing, things where people are supposed to be affirmed as wrong etc. It's very bad. Wrong to maybe not pay for something or wrong for being poor. This society makes people poor. They're wrong for not having money, people can be homeless here for that. Its very bad here. But the things people want, this is another thing i was thinking n it relates to me saying this society is so dull n not making any sense, it's going nowhere, it doesn't have anything good for people. It has all this other stuff though. Poverty housing, government, police, disease, medicine, forced labor, environmental concerns to rule ones behavior etc. All this stuff is supposed to be something n so substantial that people don't eish or get or understand. Technology isn't commonly understood but it's to be very substantial etc n functional n supporting of things people use n need like electricity n etc. Stuff should be more like how people are as themselves n w they're understanding n be accessible n not dealt out to all these experts that are smarter n superior. It's important stuff is accessible for people n really is for just anyone. I wouldn't wish to talk n someone not understand me or that I'm so able to do something others are not. I don't really wish that. I wish to have something to offer n not be unimportant but anyone is supposed to be to do stuff I do as a person. But this society, where is it going n what is it doing? What is there to do n what is something to be as in what way of life etc is there to be if people cannot have what they want. People are wrong for everything they want here. They want certain foods. They don't wish to be forced to work n that's work. They wish to have things easy, be good looking, be w a person they wish even if the person is supposed to seem too special, I'm talking about myself. People are supposed to be so inferior to wish what they wish. So what is the society going for but for not anything really worth anything because it's supposed to be not supported or worth anything, the stuff people want.