#but this guy's like
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*Oneshots your tanks*
#I don't know what I'm fucking doing with this guy#it's like#I know you're supposed to try and keep the nasty tokens on your tanks#and like#let your damage dealers deal damage#but like#I did that#and he just killed both my tanks in one hit#Well not quite#He only brought my very well-fed tanks immediately from full health to death's door in one hit#and then just killed them both from Death's Door directly after because he just *gets 3 attacks in a row* I guess#and then put those tokens on my squishier guys#and killed them too the same way#It's like#bro what do I even do with this#Like other bosses it's like ''Oh find the lock that fucks your team the most and kill that one first''#or ''Just use Toe To Toe and win the fight by default because nobody can get past Hellion to eat the meat''#but this guy's like#''He Just Fucking Kills You''#Like#I get this is basically cock and ball torture: the game#and I'm not what one would call 'an appreciator of turn-based gameplay' on the best of days so idk maybe it's inexperience#but this guy has absolutely NO business doing 73 damage per hit when he's got three actions back to back#Also like#does he have the ability to just wholly ignore deathblow resist? Or am I just REALLY unlucky#idk man I don't like this guy#Though admittedly#pissy as I am it was really funny watching it have to skip all 3 of its turns when the only person left was my Graverobber in stealth#that was a funny little occurrence#Pun's text Posts
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
#🐉#im not gonna send either of them to my dad because i value my peace and safety but i really was tempted by the second one#'why do you have to send a card to your dad i thought you hated that guy' well the thing is one time i forgot#when i was like. ten. and his reaction was not something i ever want to relive.
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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Okay so I'm a security guard, right
And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement
And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either
But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for
And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to
And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do
And I fucking
I fucking. Start danCING
I DONT KNOW WHY
I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING
LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG
I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER
and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"
AND
FUCKING
THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE
IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW
THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE
I HATE MYSELFD
#Details changed for privacy reasons obvs#But Jesus Fucking Christ#I saw the video I look like an idiot#Please Jesus God don't fucking fire me#Teablart#Well guys it's been nice I guess#Time to die in a hole
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lol
i have no idea what completely random interest i gonna draw after this
#ilustration#fanart#digital art#sketch#desenho#mouthwashing#captain curly#daisuke mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#curly my pricess#fuck jimmy#no one likes jimmy#im traumatized#love u guys
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very big fan of when shows put wigs on actors and say ‘yeah. That’s him when he was younger fuck you’. No anti aging ai, no teen actor hired. Just. The same guy with a fuckass wig
#This is about Dexter Morgan and Shawn Spencer specifically#They don’t put old guys in wigs like they used to#goober post#dexter#dexter morgan#shawn spencer#psych
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making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time
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there are only two genders btw. people who are alive and people who are fucking dead
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Please note. The orange one is not included because A. He isn’t a billionaire. And B. Calling him obnoxious is too kind for him.
#billionaire#rich people#Elon would just be insufferable#just the worst case of “needs to be the smartest kid in the room syndrome ever#I feel Zuckerberg has actually worked on himself a lot lately and he would be reasonably chill to hang out with#still evil#but he doesn’t come across as insecure alien anymore#bezos also seems like he’d actually be a cool guy to hang out with#again. still super evil#but I think I could survive a few hours stuck with him without bludgeoning myself to death
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toxic yaoi or something idk i haven't watched gravity falls
#currently obsessed with these two#they're all over my fyp dude#UPDATE: GUYS I WATCHED IT IT WAS SO GOOD#old tags ->#should really sit down and watch gravity falls in its entirety-#i only ever made it like halfway through it years ago and consumed the rest through osmosis lmao#anyways just wanted to try my hand at drawing this old man#gravity falls#bill cipher#stanford pines#the book of bill#gravity falls fanart#billford#s0up1tart
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not caring too much about a fandom’s favourite guy is the worst. you’ll think “oh i’ll look into the tag see if anything new and cool’s there” and it’s just that fucking guy again
#this is about astarion. gale to an extent too#had this with dragonage too because 80% of the time it was just solas or cullen. who i dont care for too much#and i do LIKE astarion and gale. But my favourites are the girls and wyll#something i had less with the dao cast because i generally also like the popular guys of that one alistair and zev#but then it’s like. ‘do you guys even understand these characters’#da2 i dont care for anders dragonage all that much. Fenris i do LIKE and he’s my fav guy. but i dont care for them the most#sorry for complain posting. Went into a tag today if you couldnt tell#roscoe rambles
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asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now
#like we are human beings who have to coexist. i don’t think it should be so much to ask for some courtesy#but some of you guys act like being asked to be civil to the people around you is like being asked to sever a body part#idk it’s just a respect thing. i’m not being very coherent right now but we have to act like we can share communal spaces!#abandon ethical egoism please 🙏
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I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such
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you know he would have been one of Those kids
inspired by this pic:
#it's me. i'm THose kids. years on ppl were still like “hey u were the guy who drew really cool dragons”#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#laios touden#laios dungeon meshi
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