#but this absolutely goes more in depth with what they mean in mahiru's own context. if that makes sense

[katzkinder]

Us Vs Them: What that means for Sakuya

Hey, here’s that other post I was talking about, featuring more of my ramblings strung together from bits of discord chats and half formed thoughts. It goes… Pretty off the rails at one point. I’m sorry about that!

To start with, thanks to chapter 104 confirming something for me, I had a bit of a breakthrough. Under the read more, because I can’t shut up <3

Misono... Isn't just a narrative foil to Sakuya.

The Aliceins are meant to mirror Team M entirely, and the same sort of mindset can be found in both groups

"We are kind to our own, but cruel to anyone who is Other"

For Misono and Sakuya both, breaking away is integral to stopping the cycle of pain and revenge both groups have found themselves caught up in. And for this reason, I think that an eventual team up between the two is inevitable. (final showdown trio, sakumahimiso, lET'S GO)

Also this bit is for @bluemoonfantasiesiii​ cuz they’re a color slut lol

Mahiru, Misono, and Sakuya are all assigned secondary colors as their major color motif. Orange, purple, and green. 

Now let’s look at our “antagonists”

Tsubaki: Red

Mikuni: Yellow

Hugh: Blue

All primary. Does this mean anything? Maybe not. Is it making me nervous? Ohhh, hell yeah it is.

Have an accurate example of how I look anytime I discuss Servamp

But if I throw enough shit at the wall, eventually I’ll make Jesus, so we’ll have to wait and see :P

--To go back to what I’d like to see moving forward for a minute, this time for Sakuya, I’d absolutely love for Lily to, like, actually Talk with Sakuya for five minutes and get smacked in the face with the reality that he is super duper traumatized and desperately in need of a loving, supportive home full of people who actually understand how to address his issues. Because Tsubaki loves his subclass... But he doesn't know how to help them, which is why I sometimes refer to his group as a halfway home.

Basically Lily goes yoink! and Sakuya's just ????? Did I just get adopted?

See also: very stupid and farfetched desire for Mikuni to subconsciously treat him somewhat similarly to how he treats Misono, because he sees some of his little brother in him

Another thing is for Lily to help him deal with his, frankly, as much as I love sakumahi, unhealthy level of attachment to Mahiru. And sometimes I like to play with that. Most of the time, in fact, cuz I thrive on that fucked up shit. But in the context of canon, what I want for Sakuya is to be able to have healthy, normal relationships with people, and with Mahiru as well. He's practically addicted to the way Mahiru makes him feel, and that's... not good.

… I think Lily would pity him. He recognizes Sakuya latching on to the first person that made him feel like life was worth living, but he knows that he needs to learn to let go... Or else he'll end up with nothing.

And do I want Mahiru to get really fucking angry about Tsubaki airing his best friend's trauma to him without his permission and slug him in his stupid pretty face? Yes. Yes I do.

As far as that goes, though, I kind of want to interpret that as Tsubaki being somewhat self aware that he is not equipped to handle Sakuya's trauma, and asking Mahiru without actually saying that's what he's doing to try and help Sakuya because he would have seen how much brighter and happier this one little slice of normalcy made his grumpiest and most rebellious subclass. But Tsubaki is also, like, hella fucked up, so he flubbed it bad lmao

--Could also just be early story pitfalls of Strike trying to follow a very shounen, formulaic way of divulging a character's backstory to the reader via trauma dumping and then later realizing "wait this is stupid, I need to be better about this"

Because after Lust Arc, unless Mahiru is involved in the resolution, he never learns about the other character's traumas. He doesn't know about Ophelia. He doesn't know about Shamrock and Shuuhei's history. He doesn't know about the Chuuni Trio's friendship as kids, and how all that evolved. He does know about Kuro. He does know about Tsurugi. He actually... Doesn't know about the full depth of Touma's pain. Touma only shared that with him out of spite. But he knows the most important parts, and is able to put together everything else on his own.

Speaking of trauma dumping, I would really love to see those two instances of it, of Tsubaki divulging Sakuya’s past without his consent, and then later Mikado doing the same damn thing to Misono (hey look, more character parallels!) to come back to bite Mahi, no pun intended. Like the stress of it all, and the weight he's carrying, the knowing that he has been given access to things that aren't his right to have, especially after he went out of his way to be conscientious of Kuro's needs by asking to be let in, rather than brute forcing it the way Inner Sloth wanted. Mahiru is such a gentle person, and he'd hate that he has, whether by his own will or not, trampled on the privacy of people he loves.

Because regardless of the kind of love someone might personally think he feels for them, he does love both Sakuya and Misono. Loves them dearly. 

And maybe that's why Misono warmed to him so quickly, alongside Lily. That faint sense of acceptance, of caring, of a heart too big for his chest.

The world has fangs, but Mahiru is willing to bleed.