#but then maybe august's will be easier since i'll be at college

[fridayyy-13th]

okay so like. i have ocd, and obviously with that comes intrusive thoughts. but sometimes i have intrusive thoughts without a compulsion coupled with them. is that a different thing. is that just anxiety. send help

[whentherewerebicycles]

work was great and i think these transfer students are going to be a breeze. they are all super smart and highly motivated so i don't think we'll have any procrastination issues. yippee! i'm really hoping to be matched with 2-3 more kids for the dec/early jan period but they said intake has been a little slow so we'll see. i also just notified the other company i work for that i am interested in working with med school applicants for the upcoming cycle. it would be great if i could get into a regular rhythm of doing med school applicants january through august, college students september through november, and transfer students november through january. i am going to have to get creative with fitting it all in around full-time work but it helps that most of the students are on the east coast. if i really wanted to be nuts i could wake up at 5am and work 5-7 before he wakes up. and then last year i was also able to work during my lunch hour + the time i would normally be commuting on my WFH days. i need to be careful that this schedule does not become punishing and i want to think a bit about the number of students i can accommodate without losing my mind, since it's obviously much easier to NOT take students on than it is to offload them. but if i want to have another kid i think i need to save at least $15k for the IUI process alone and that's on top of saving for daycare etc. i think i need to read a book about budgeting and saving though.... i kinda need a better plan than just "maybe i'll work a lot of hours and magically wind up with enough in savings."

[neonjawbone]

So, out of curiosity: as someone who's got a long-running web comic AND who's got a novel coming as well, have you found that your process for writing each are very different?

Are there things that are the same?

Did you find one easier than the other?

Did the type of media you were making influence the genre you chose to work with?

Sorry, just super curious since I haven't seen anyone do both before!

ooh!! I love this question!

Yes, I'd say, the process is very different! I've said this to a couple friends so far, but working in prose has been like reuniting with an old friend. Pretty common story, but I was a huge reader until sometime in college (around the time i got on social media and my adhd really took a nosedive), so actually writing (and by extension, trying to get back into reading) has been REALLY fun and interesting. My process for storytelling itself is really similar, but writing for comics can leave a lot up to the visuals. What the backgrounds look like, expressions and character acting, these are things i tend to leave to myself on the page. When you rely on them overmuch in prose, what you get is a kind of boring slog. Working in prose has lead me to try and write not how things *look* (as is my instinct coming from comics) but how they *feel*.

Furthermore, prose is such a different game. Idk how else to put it. The act of writing is so uniquely vulnerable, and while theres things I miss from comics (expressions being wayyyy up there) theres also so much cool shit you can only do in prose. Stuff like really getting into characters interiority, and through multiple pov characters painting different pictures of the world and your cast.

Prose is easier, bar none (okay, this is kind of incendiary) what I mean is, prose is less labor intensive. The act of creating/storytelling/art is still WORK. No matter how you're doing it. And certainly, sometimes I'll beat my head trying to convey something in prose that isn't like, boring. But I can bang out 1k-5k words in a day without aggravating my RSIs, it is not draining in the way that comics are, simply put, yeah. It's physically easier to type words (for me) than it is to draw a comic.

Example: Though I started work on my novel, OTAS, about a year and a half ago, maybe only 6-7 months were spent writing with any regularity (and even on writing days I was still able to do many other things!). The graphic novel I worked on, TPATPG (out in AUGUST!!) took two years of near constant, daily work which allotted a majority of my drawing energy..

Now, I don't think my influences have really changed so much, BUT I made a conscious effort to read prose books with more regularity since starting to incorporate fiction writing. I think it's very important to take in the media you want to work in!!

In conclusion, working in prose has been really fun, and I'm excited to do more of it!

[damistrolls]

helo science time sorry im late !! !

this is hisset and he works with my mercenary team, direwolf! he patches their wounds and keeps them healthy and does all that other good medical shit. but he ALSO has a passion for mycology and half of his lab is dedicated to his fucked up fungi experiments. u see, he really wants to communicate with fungi, and maybe even become part of the mycelium network (without sacrificing his mind and/or body if he can help it)

we all know this freak. he makes zombies for the fleet basically and is VERY curious abt life and death <3 hes a bit of a sadist and a freak. dont go near him if u value ur life. though, i hear he's a fun lunch date

nessic is a dentist! that counts as being sciencey to me. he's lowkey (highkey) got an obsession with perfect teeth. his more normal interests are documentaries, nonfiction books, and scale model vehicles

doktor counts as a scientist! ... sorta! he has his own apothecary that, yes, carries regular brand name drugs, but it also has his own concoctions and remedies. they work pretty well actually, since they're well-researched :] he's more well-meaning than he looks

lovira's a doctor! that's sciencey! they specifically are a horn doctor, and a slightly famous one at that. theyve got a good, popular practice going yknow? they help ppl with infected horns, or ones that r growing in a way that's painful or dangerous or just inconvenient :] they also like fashion and hanging out with their sibling

if im counting lovira i have 2 count my other doctors so umm!!! kari's a therapist! that counts probably? even tho theyre not super sciencey abt it,, they really like musicals and reading and birdwatching

also august! hes a fleet doctor and vernon's ancestor. he's mainly a surgeon (and was actually a field surgeon/combat medic for a time) but he can sometimes act like a general doc for ppl on the ripmaw. he'd rather know ur taken care of, yknow? he doesnt much care for the fleet, but he feels like he's got a responsibility here

kitsui works at ancr as a behavioral researcher! he's a weirdo but hes actually good at his job and pretty well-meaning too! silly guy. funny goober who loves his mom <3 he legitimately has a lot of interest in behavioral research too, he loooves learning how ppl and animals tick

dansoz is an evolutionary biologist (dont check his credentials) who has an interest in speculative evolution and macro mutations! he's gathering as much information as he can about mutations so he can eventually educate the masses and hopefully combat all that pesky anti-mutation propaganda. he's a bit morally dubious though, so we should be glad he's small, weak, and has no scary powers

hertzl is both a science project himself and also a scientist! he doesn't exactly have a degree, but he did study plenty on his own accord, and he worked at a radiation lab for a time before it uh. kind of exploded. it might have been because of him, but it wasn't his fault, i promise, hes a good boy who loves reading, plushies, and cute animals

jim is a computer science professor, and he does a lot of the techy kinda stuff at his college. that counts, right? fun fact, when he was younger, he used to be in a band! he can still play bass pretty damn well, but he'd claim he's out of practice. he's a really chill guy, ends up being like a father figure to ppl in his class all the time

nazkoi is a virologist! i unfortunately dont have a lot of info about him yet, but i'll figure out what to do with him soon

euktis is a fleet botanist who intends to create a faster and easier way to farm alternian crops on alternian colony planets, even the ones inhospitable to plantlife. he's actually fairly close to completing his goal. he also enjoys playing

donvan's also a science guy! he makes chemical weapons for the fleet. he's kind of a huge heartless bitch who's very cold to people's suffering. i dont think he has any likes, but he has plenty of dislikes, such as: everyone, everywhere, and everything. there's no pleasing this guy. but he seems least upset when left alone to his work

wow never heard of this guy before. pet ass y? dont think a character with that name exists.

jokes aside, petasi's one of the smartest characters on my blog fr. he can figure just about anything out. he's a doctor, yeah, but that title honestly isnt doing him justice. just from the medical side of things, he's dabbled in several different disciplines, but he's also studied some robotics/cybernetics stuff, and a bit of psych. u already know basically everything i could say abt him

hollic is a roboticist! he makes bots for the fleet, but in his spare time, he likes finding parts from older models and putting them together. he loves a retro robot, u see <3 he also really likes greasy food, and could probably tear through 4 burgers in one sitting if left unsupervised

aom is an inventor! and by that i mean, he likes to try to build crazy new things that usually end up exploding. he's not a troll, but rather, a xuma on alternia! he's very outgoing and talkative, and loves learning new things. just try not to stick around when he's testing his inventions

walt is ALSO an inventor, in a sense. or maybe an innovator is a better word for it? i can't say too much here without spoiling things, but he would have done GREAT things on earth had it not been for his... predicament. a shame, really

uhm hello i am sick but you know what would make me soo happy?

if you reblogged this post and showed me some of your sciencey trolls! (ethical or otherwise) and told me a little bit about them.. seeing them is nice but i’d also like to know what they get up to…

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

(Please ignore this if it is too personal) When did you first know you were a man? How would I know whether I am a man or a woman? Is there certain feelings attached or something else? I’d like to hear more about your experience if you’re willing to share. Either way, thanks for your time and have a great day!

Oh boy gender stuff! Good luck anon!

I'll do my best to describe what it was like for me, but everyone's different and I feel like I had kind of a non-standard story anyway, maybe? (feelings were weird bc.... autism? trauma? depression?? all of the above??) But everyone's different, anyways. Some people know as soon as they have a concept of gender as small kids and some people find out super late in life, I figured it out the year after I graduated college.

There isn't really a specific moment I can remember, it was just sort of... steadily going "huh. hm. I think maybe.... huh..." and doing research and thinking about it. A couple days at the very end of August were the tipping point and I was sure by September, which is sort of a personal holiday for me figuring it out. For quite a while but especially for the year previous to this I'd been figuring out that I liked my hair short, and that I liked wearing more masculine clothes (my homophobic mom several times accused me of being queer and I was like WTF NO LEAVE ME ALONE I'M CLEARLY A COMPLETELY CISHET GOOD CHRISTIAN WAMEN WHO IS NOT SLOWLY DEVELOPING A GENDER CRISIS lol.) You can see why the um environment in my family might have contributed to me... not wanting to/feeling allowed to explore this earlier idk.

I was unsure for basically the first year of knowing I was trans, because I have issues with doubting my perceptions easily, but I logiced my way through it and was like. Why would I -want- to alienate my family and complicate my whole life if this wasn't real, like why would I choose extra inconvenience for funsies?? I wouldn't. I've gotten a bit more sure about myself and able to trust my perceptions since then, but also relaxed on knowing the specifics of everything. I'm still figuring out my gender and sexuality on some level (I'm some type of aroace but what fine print and where on the spectrum? idk but I'm something. I'm transmasculine, am I Completely Binary 100% Full Gender Man Dude or more nonbinary/agender? idk, I do know that I want to transition, for now I just tell people I'm a trans man and it's close enough and feels right.)

Emotionally, it's weird. For me, I didn't... at least I didn't notice dysphoria, at first? Because that was the way I'd always been, it felt normal. But here's the thing, "normal" felt dull and dead and just sort of empty. Like I wasn't interested in being my gender I was just sort of going through the motions because it seemed like I was supposed to. The big difference for me was realizing that I wanted masculinity and that it made me feel good about my gender, something I had not felt before. Before it had always just been like "eh, sure, okay, I guess. I mean, there's not another option, right?" (There was.)

I guess when I figured it out there was just sort of a sense of, oh, okay. There's nothing to go back to, because that was all just a lot of -nothing-, and now I've figure out how to actually feel alive, gender-wise. Like I didn't feel there was an option to turn that awareness off.

I don't know, it's confusing trying to explain it. Feelings weird. I want to say "you'll just know" but I did get super anxious and psyche myself out going "but what if I'm just completely deranged and making this all up for some incomprehensible reason?? or what if I'm POSSESSED??" (true story.) so like, it uh, took me a while to Know(TM) myself.

It might be easier to put aside the "am I trans" question for a sec and think about specific things that you do know that you are or want. Like this page! also this, and @transgenderteensurvivalguide in general. They're a good source. and I really like youtuber Jammidodger. There's sometimes a disconnect between finding community online and in the real world though, what I found out is that there were a lot more queer people and a lot more resources in my area than I thought! I was able to get top surgery like right down the street, I had assumed I'd need to travel to another state. So try to figure out if there's a local LGBTQ+ organization of some kind, they might have more information for what's in your area. I'm on a weekly zoom call with other trans people in the community, it's open to gender-nonconforming and questioning people as well as trans allies. I think a lot of trans groups generally are open for you to just come hang out and talk to other people and see other people if you're questioning your gender, you don't have to have all the answers on day one.

I hope some of this helps, it's really only something you can figure out yourself but @transgenderteensurvivalguide is a good compilation of resources to help figure it out. Good luck anon! Take your time, try not to freak out too much, I love you!

[msykira-blog]

It's been a very long time since I write blogs. I used to really into talking about myself (in blogs) when I was in junior high school, and I loved myself back then.

Now that I'm older, I feel like I'm less myself than I was. I feel like I lost myself often. I used to knew what to do, what I want to be, and who I am. Now I change my mind often, really depending on my feelings. It feels like my mind and my heart can't cooporate each other, they say different things, and I often choose the voice of my heart (even if my mind knows it's wrong)

It has something to do with the 'New Year New Me', except for me more like 'New Year, trying to find myself back'

I hope if I start blogging again, expressing my feelings, my thoughts, my days, my moods, etc. I can care about myself more, loving myself more, just like I did when I was younger. I really need to find myself. I can't get lost any further.

I want to have dreams again, I used to dream big things. I want to have something that I love other than 'love' that I give (so much, maybe too much) in a relationship.

I want to always remind myself that there's A LOT of things that's more important than what I worry in mind. And I know that I can't change except I really put effort in it.

Love yourself, please

Okay, so for the first day. It's January 3rd and I was out of the office all day long. I went to a project meeting (my first, which I really enjoy)

I didn't know that I'd enjoy this project meeting since I got a headache when we started to make the budget plan of it before (because the shopdrawings were not complete and clear), but people that we're working with were kind, and they make it easier.

It's only 2,5months of my first job, I really want to give my best in everything I do. I learn A LOT here, my co-working are nice (they teach me things and really really nice) and my boss is really kind too. So I don't want to disappoint anyone. I try hard to be careful so I won't make mistake.

I applied and accepted as an Interior Designer, but I end up doing everything they told me to do (drafter, budget planner, supervisor, and some other stuffs, like a lot). I don't mind. I learn so much here, I love my job. And I think that's a good thing.

Anyway, I think I'm getting my wisdom teeth because it hurts so much. And I think the other teeth is hollowed (is it right?) cause it huts too.😕 And my throat also hurt, I think I'm getting inflamacy . I wish they'd all gone when I wake up in the morning (impossible)

I'm trying to eat healthy and be thrifty (wow new vocabulary) now, I eat oatmeals for breakfast and make brown rice for my lunch, and I think I'd have oatmeals in dinners too. It's beginning of month but my money is already really slight lol cause I spent a lot on new year (and 3days before it). Hahhhh I really hope I can be less lavish with my money. Okay I'll working for it. This is the last month I'm being lavish. Promise! I want to keep my money for my brother's college. He'll be in August, I want to help my parents.

Enough for today.

What I should be thankful today :

How lucky I am to be alive, have something to eat, and able to sleeping on a bed.

[sunkissedchldrecon]

this is such a cool concept for a tag game!! i'm excited!

January - Eight of Pentacles (Rx)

i may be impatient about the changes i want for this year (which already makes sense lmao). i may also be in a perfectionist mindset while also not wanting to put in the work.

February - The Hierophant (Rx)

i may have a good undertanding where i want to go and what i want to do. my beliefs may come into agreement with someone else or vice versa (i think the person may be my parents, just intuitively). also going my own way with my own values since it's in reverse.

March - King of Wands

i may stand out more i'll be more of a go-getter about my goals and wants. people may see this and find me charasmatic and might want to be my friend! following through with intentions. i feel like March will be busy.

April - The Lovers

going along with March, someone may make advances towards me? o.0 this could be romantic or friendly. April will probably be an upgraded version of March. my relationships may be even more harminious, and i might feel even more confident in myself and my decisions. i may be in alignment during this time.

May - Seven of Wands

competition may come in. i may waver a little in my beliefs and goals. this will be the testing period for me; i'll have to make an effort to fully go for whatever it is i want and perservere through the harder times, but it won't be dramatically horrible or anything - i just have to remain focused and firm in my thoughts instead of wavering.

June - Four of Cups

this will be a time of introspection and reflection. i'll be questioning whether or not what i'm doing or working towards is what a really want. i may have to work more on my alignment during this time. i may just feel like life is stale and boring despite all that i've been given (probably the sagittarius and 5th house stellium of mine feeling restless).

July - Two of Pentacles

i'll probably be re-organizing my life to an extent lol. i'll be deciding what is most important to me and prioritizing certain emotions, people, hobbies, etc. i might have to balance between a relationship and a job?

August - Three of Cups

celebration time! i'll be a junior around this time, so celebrating the last few legs of my college career? there's an emphasis on community celebration, so maybe i'll gin more friends or at least celebrate with them. it'll be easier to balance work and relationships this month in comparison to July.

September - King of Swords

i'll be in work mode for school. a major focus on studying and not stressing about the school year.

October - Three of Pentacles

i might have a group project? anyways, collaborations are happening, and i'll have to learn how to pull my weight while also working with other people. an emphasis on teamwork and trusting others to do their half.

November - Death (Rx)

i may be more tired during this time. maybe i need to change some habits, but i really don't want to because things have been working so well, so why don't they work as well now? i may burn myself out in November.

December - Temperance (Rx)

the cracks from July will come back to bite in a sense lol. maybe i don't fully work out my priorities because things settled down in August, but problems that aren't fully dealt with will always come back around. i may still be burnt out and speaning more.

tagging: @dorkgelic, @faiirina, @eunoiatarot, @k-rising, @le-nora, @sweetsop, @the-cosmic-gentle-giant, @vicxy, @yashashveeroy

𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 (𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞?)

It's her birthday!!

and i literally just fund out anyways i love her so much and this is me trying to get your attention lol.

So i pulled a tarot card for myself (which i rarely do, it's difficult for me to read to myself :/) for each month of 2022 to see how it'll go, and here it is!!!

𝑱��𝒏𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒚 - 𝟑 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

so what I am getting ? is that January is a time of introspection and looking inwards more than anything, time to think instead of doing lol, don't jump to things either

𝑭𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒚 - 𝟔 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

victory!! getting out of a lump or starting planning something, moving slowly but surely into something new that'll give me some sort of emotional or financial fulfilment, it can also be getting the recognition i deserve 😌

𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉 - 𝟖 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐮𝐩𝐬

so for the month of march (my birthday month, horrible) i will be chosing to leave something behind after a long time, big moving on energy and i think it emphasized Aries energy of new things and new energies, entering a new stage of my life without old baggage

𝑨𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒍 - 𝟖 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

for April something is going to be revealed, i know it is mostly letting go of a victim mentality, but i feel like something is coming out to the light in April that will be eye-opening and it will change a lot of my perspective, helping with the moving on part, maybe a deceitful person showing themselves? there's going to be much tea on April let me tell you

𝑴𝒂𝒚 - 𝟕 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

okaayyy, so for the month of May I'll be moving away from a toxic person or a manipulative person, i feel like this is connected all the way back to march and maybe i will be moving out? Or i will be block/ignore a person that has been very manipulative, either way this feels like moving from toxic environments to me

𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒆 - 𝟗 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐮𝐩𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

so the month of June will be one of introspection again, I'll be asking myself what is it that i want in life and what kind of job do i want, I'll probably get a lot of the things i always wanted (yay) but will still feel unsatisfied on the inside (aw man) so in the month i will be thinking about my options and what do i want and how do I want to make money, more than anything

𝑱𝒖𝒍𝒚 - 𝟓 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

this card can be directly linked to the card I got from June, in the month of July i will making amends with someone and learning to forgive, leave the past behind, could be a person but i feel this is with myself more than anything, learning to forgive myself for my mistakes? uff

𝑨𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒔𝒕 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭

yaaassss, what i get from this is that the month of August will be really good for me to improve my intuition and i will fully get into spirituality and learning new forms of divination? Probably buying more cards that i feel more comfortable with and doing my readings better, if that's the case, i will be spending money on things like cards and candles and crystals and such!!!

𝑺𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

aaah, for the month of September i will be more social or more out there, i will go out more or spend less time alone as i am used to being alone all the time lol, i will be hanging out in groups or working in group so i will be around people a lot, mmmm i don't know how to feel i already have covid i don't want to have it a second time and people :// anywaysss

𝑶𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝟔 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐮𝐩𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐝

for the month of October there's an emphasis on LEAVING jsskjs, like if this was somebody else's reading I'd say they will be moving out of their home by October, however is me and i don't have that kind of money, so i believe it's more of detaching from the expectations family puts and becoming more of my own person outside them, it's something a lot more personal than moving our but oh god i wish I would just leave lol

𝑵𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝟐 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

OKAY? planning, making decisions and leaving home 👹 for the beautiful extraordinary month of November i will be making plans to move out or travel somewhere possibly out of the country, mm i know where this is going, I could be traveling a lot this November so.... Maybe I'll meet a special someone 😎😎 (she knows who she is)

𝑫𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

the last month of 2022 and it's all about not wasting time on ideas and plans that will go nowhere, in December i will have to put my mind and focus into one singular thing for it to succeed, how dare you ask someone with adhd something like that? Anywho, if i try to make too many things all at once i will get none done so i beg the me of December 2022 to focus on just ONE THING

i wasn't even going to make it a tag game but i will now, PLS REBLOG THIS WITH YOUR YEARLY TAROT SPREAD 😊😊😊

I'm tagging everyone i know until somebody feels bad for me and does this too; @ukiyowi @ukiyowi-main @universalcrush just to be sure, @cancerfairy @acaplion @the-falling-star @astrofangs @royaleofury @marklovin @luminarin @sunkissedchld @sxorpiomooon @tulipsrosemaryandthyme @nooramoontarot @guxciestone @intuitive-bbloom @pbmoure @notanastrologer @sunball

Just to be clear you can STILL do this if I haven't tagged you because i always want to do tag games but I'm never tagged jskjs JUST DO IT. I WANNA SEE WHAT YOU GOT 🙈

goodbye