#but then again we've had cats in the past who have remained active well into seniority so it's kind of the luck of the draw | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vickyvicarious · 3 months ago

Text

He was still in the strait-waistcoat and in the padded room, but the suffused look had gone from his face, and his eyes had something of their old pleading—I might almost say, "cringing"—softness. I was satisfied with his present condition, and directed him to be relieved. [...] It was soothing, somehow, to the feelings to find myself dissociated even in the mind of this poor madman from the others; but all the same I do not follow his thought. Am I to take it that I have anything in common with him, so that we are, as it were, to stand together; or has he to gain from me some good so stupendous that my well-being is needful to him? I must find out later on. To-night he will not speak. Even the offer of a kitten or even a full-grown cat will not tempt him. [...] I wish I could get some clue to the cause. It would almost seem as if there was some influence which came and went. Happy thought! We shall to-night play sane wits against mad ones. He escaped before without our help; to-night he shall escape with it. We shall give him a chance, and have the men ready to follow in case they are required….

More of Seward being an absolute disaster today. Like, it's possible to see his train of thought... it's just very subjective and personal and super unethical.

He doesn't release Renfield from the padded room/straightjacket until the man is performing subservience for him again. Sure, it's also that he's not being actively violent, but the way he says "he was cringing, I was satisfied" leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

When Renfield goes "ha, as if I could ever hurt you" Seward is flattered. His hurt feelings of yesterday/a week ago (timeline weirdness!) are soothed. However, he tries to remain more objective and analyze why he gets special treatment now. He doesn't really like the idea that Renfield feels any commonality with him; this is something we've seen Seward quite conscious of in the past, his own atypical mind and how it may be close to 'madness'. He wonders also if Renfield is just trying to get something from him. In the past he's not quite realized just how successfully Renfield has manipulated him, and it's kind of hilarious how Seward's immediate impulse here is to offer up what he thinks Renfield wants. If the guy were still trying for a cat, he'd be on the right track it seems.

But also, the fact that Seward offered a full-grown cat is really alarming. In the past, he did bring that up first, yes. But it was in the context of Renfield asking for a kitten, Seward promising nothing, but inquiring if he would rather have the adult. He never actually made any offers, and in fact that was his line in the sand that ended up halting the initial animal cultivation experiments. He refused to give a cat or kitten, thinking that would be going too far - though he was tempted for a cause to justify it. Here, he just makes the offer for either one! No cause in sight!

And at the end, he makes another wildly unprofessional choice to give Renfield the opportunity to escape to see what he will do. Quite aside from the fact that he's not supposed to be allowing patients to run away, Seward himself begins the both the main entry and this later part by saying Renfield was violent for days (three in this later bit - should this be two separate entries and we are missing a week, then three more days, or was Stoker considering only a 3-day gap from yesterday? timeline weirdness! but regardless, it's still been days). Sure, he's calmer by night and that's when he plans to release him, but this is opening up himself to potential legal trouble as well as Renfield/potential passersby to physical danger (or even himself or the attendants; Renfield is a strong guy and who knows if he might fight back harder this time or pick up a weapon). He's also treating Renfield like nothing but an experiment, with no consideration for things such as how the last time he got out and went to the chapel his mental health took an immediate and prolonged dive. He's not treating Renfield like a person. And for all he's veered dramatically towards seeing him as a potential threat in the past, he's not treating him like one either here.

It's something he absolutely should not be doing in any way. And yet... he wants to know, so he's doing it. Just like he wanted to see if Renfield would respond to better bribery, so he just casually stepped over the line he'd drawn to offer him a cat. Even if he never intended to actually deliver on that offer, making it was cruel and showed his morals aren't really affecting his decision-making much at all right now. And that's only further proven by the release-and-catch plan. Sure, he doesn't actually intend for Renfield to really get away (they'll be right there to catch him) - but that's already going way, way too far.

Seward doesn't mention his own sleep this entry, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's not slept properly or even at all in days. Not that that's an excuse, but... I can't imagine he isn't sleep-deprived to hell during all this.

#dracula daily #jack seward #he's. a. MESS.

22 notes · View notes

maxheadley · 6 years ago

Text

Arguments and offers

Fire cackled as a foggy trail of blackish-gray smoke whisked up into the chimney. The air was thick and warm, a rather extreme drastic change from the blizzard howling on outside. Sebastian dozed on an dark burgundy armchair. His head tilted onto his open palm, squishing his cheek upward. Ben slightly chuckled, seeing drool trail down the corners of Sebastian's mouth. He closed the book he currently was reading and sat it on the couch next to his sleeping hellhound. He got up and made his way over to his beloved Sebastian. He smoothed down Sebastian's ruffled dark hair gently. Ben admired the beautiful man more than anything in the world. Nothing mattered to him like Sebastian. Seeing him peacefully sleeping made Ben so happy.

He deserved peace after all. After all the terrible, rambunctious, raucous past year. Finally, the two could settle down, raise their children and figure out the next step in their future.

Ben felt a relief fall off his shoulders. He could finally breathe. Sebastian could finally breathe. He walked to the window, drew back the heavy black curtains and leaned against the windowsill. Outside snow drizzled down from the cloudy sky, snow blanketed the ground undisturbed by footsteps or shovels. In the distance, Ben witnessed a couple dancing in their home. A warm light flooded through their window onto the snow, giving a yellow hue to the white color. He noticed the loving way the blonde girl gazed up at her husband as they moved slowly across the floor. The way the man shared the same unconditional expression. That was true love, Ben thought sweetly.

Eventually, Ben saw them break apart and blow out the candle of light. The last light on the street winked out leaving nothing but darkness, moon, and bright, white snow. He stared at the waning moon set upon the sky for what seemed like ages until he heard someone clear his throat. Whipping around, allow the curtains to close, he saw Sebastian stretching, reminding Ben briefly of a domestic cat. He coughed once as he stood up.

In the dim firelight, shadows were cast on Sebastian's pristine face. He couldn't quite read Sebastian's facial expression, but Ben assumed tiredness sunk into his eyes, giving him a depressed, resigned look. "I'm quite surprised you hadn't woken me up to go to bed. Are you not tired?" Sebastian asked in a groggy voice.

"Not really, no. But you can head to bed. I want to finish up the chapter I am currently abating." Ben said, walking over to the couch where Nikolai was curled up and picked up his book. book. He counted the pages. "I have about three pages to read." Ben plopped down onto the couch, laying his book on his lap.

"Ben.. How are you feeling?" Sebastian asked, putting his large delicate hands on Ben's shoulders. Ben leaned his head onto Sebastian's core, relishing in the heat that emitted there. "Cold for the most part, but emotionally, I feel empty as there is nothing presenting itself to us as problem needing fixing. I like that we're getting a break from a year's worth of drama and battles, but I miss helping and I enjoy relishing in the victory it gives me." He responded sadly.

Sebastian's expression remained bleak and complacent up until Ben's response. He made a startled gasp and stepped back. He ended up glowering at Ben. His silvery-pale blue eyes alight with astonishment and anger. "How can you say that? We lost nearly everything because of Alura and Chasm and you miss it? It cost Creedence and Ella their lives!"

Ben turned slightly to avoid kneeing his hellhound, Cheri in the face and sighed. "I know, but you're forgetting what we won. Magnus has his freedom back as well as his kingdom's freedom. You discovered you had a twin brother, you never knew about and I found out I had siblings than just Marlee. And everyone is safe from the corruption of Alura thanks to Anazul."

"Many people have given up their lives for the sake of keeping everyone safe and saving their kingdoms. Creedence didn't give up his life for you just so you could jump right back into warfare. Ella wouldn't have wanted us to continue to fight enemies without evidence. She would've wanted us to fight accordingly and have the evidence proving they are the enemy. We're finally at peace. Do you want to give that up?" Sebastian said, coldly. "Or have it taken from us again!"

Ben noticed Sebastian was shaking. His anxiety must've spiked up right alongside the anger he pressed into his words. Ben got up slowly and strode over to him. "No. No. No." He shook his head. His black hair falling over his eyebrows. "Listen. What I'm saying is I miss being active and helping with problems. We've been cooped up in this house since Mitas discovered a spell to resurrect Creedence and Ella, hoping to see if necromancy actually works." Ben took his beloved's hands calmly, brushing his thumb over the large knuckles soothingly. "And I was thinking of applying for a position in the Races Representative's Court. Being a representative for my side of the wolves would help me stay actively inclined and informed of problems involving my kind." He added, seeing how skeptical Sebastian remained.

Sebastian cued in a massive eyeroll and cast a glare in Ben's direction. "I understand that but soon we'll have more responsibilities then we know what to do with. Remember our children will come soon and they will be a handful. Not to mention, you have two little girls who do need their father. You don't have to be a representative.." He argued.

"I can juggle both responsibilities." Ben growled, a little apoplectically.

Sebastian yanked his hands out of Ben's and turned away slowly as if trying to figure out what next he should say in the argument to win. Ben knew he wouldn't. Once Ben had his mind set on something, it became important to him and he was determined to accomplish it. Ben needed this, no matter what Sebastian said.

"Sebastian, being a representative for the wolf race would help me gain the leadership experience I need to take over the Wolf Pack from Callista when she chooses me for the next out of me and Ella. I need this and you're also on the representatives council for the vampires. It's no big deal."

Sebastian glanced at him appalled. "I have to be on the damned representatives council because I am the King now! And Anazul forced Crescent to take over his father's seat. He wasn't prepared for being a council member at only fourteen, and I can tell you're not either. You still have the mindset of a teenager and don't even deny that because I can read your thoughts. You're rash and careless. You don't think about how you affect me and others."

Ben resisted the urge to flinch at the severe tone Sebastian used. He could only stare blindsided about how Sebastian reacted, his mouth slightly agape.

Sebastian must've seen the flash of astonishment, anger and disappointment that filtered into his eyes before Ben schooled his expression into being expressionless, because Sebastian bit his lip harshly. Anxiety flushed his cheeks. "I didn't mean... I meant that you shouldn't force yourself into a role unnecessarily for the sake of gaining someone's approval.. You're still-"

Ben backed away, shaking his head and turned away this time. Anger rebelled in his blood. He scrunched up his nose, breathing heavily and growled, fuming all over the place inside. "You don't think I'm mature enough for this, do you?"

"Ben, that's not what i-"

"NO! That's exactly what you're saying Sebastian!" Ben whirled on Sebastian. His eyes were wild with fury.

Sebastian flinched, looking down at his shaking large hands and hissed. "Alright, fine. I do think you're immature and you're proving my point by reacting like a complete child."

Ben wrinkled up his nose once again. "I thought you'd support me in this endeavor because that's what your supposed to do in a relationship, but you don't want me to? Because I'm immature?"

"What I'm saying is, you don't know what we are held responsible for! There's so many factors to consider in helping run the races and we have to be the face of our face. Articulate and under control. We can't react immaturely otherwise we set a bad example of our race. You would most likely hear something you don't agree with or like and react differently than a representative usually does." Sebastian informed him lightly, putting a huge amount of effort in leaving the scorn out of his words and tone.

Ben said nothing. He reacted badly in the past. But every since the Great Blood War, his conscience was made aware. He used to actively torture people and himself. He hurt others intentionally. He knew his impulsiveness would be his downfall, but having Sebastian tell him this, made everything he'd done seem worthless and he should be guilty, but he wasn't. He had no regrets or remorse for what he'd done.

And he knew it.

"You know we can hear you right?" Said Crescent's high pitched voice. Hitting puberty seemed to cause Crescent's unusual soft voice to be a tad squeaky. Ben whirled around to see Crescent standing on the spiraling staircase with Caereli a couple steps higher. Both look wide eyed, fearful and concerned. Ben couldn't help but grab his black button up coat and shrug it on. Glancing at a paling Sebastian, he shook his head. "I need to be alone." He ran out the door before Sebastian could protest.

He didn't want to hear anymore. He couldn't, so Ben ran out into the storm, leaving Sebastian standing there in the doorway, his pale eyes trailing after him with sadness and dying anger wallowing in their depths.

Sebastian perched on the coal black rooftop of his home. His feet dangled over the edge barefoot. He should've been concerned his toes were numb, and his foot felt like ice. However, Sebastian's mind was on other things.

Ben hadn't come home last night. Sebastian stayed up all night, worrying and going over the events of last night in his hand. He regretted saying what he did, a million times over. Why did he have to call Ben immature? He meant what he said. Ben couldn't be ready for the task, no matter how much he tried to convince Sebastian. But Sebastian felt the guilt weigh in on his fragile heart.

What else would he lose? He lost the only other person he'd ever loved deeply not too long ago. His brother. Would he survive if he lost Ben too? Sebastian had no answer for the questions he continued to ask himself repeatedly mentally.

Salty tears treaded down his pale cheeks. He tasted his own tears passing off his lips to his thighs below. He wiped at his face. There was no point in killing his heart by crying and wallowing in self pity. He had more dignity than that.

He used his dark burgundy sweater to cover up his freezing hands as he leaned forward. He cast his pale blue eyes down onto the streets below. Children and teenagers were running about, playing games or hanging out with one another.

Sebastian saw a young couple posing for pictures in front of the abandoned Cahya Castle. He wondered if they realized why their King hasn't set foot among it's corridors and taken use inside. He wondered if they knew what a toll those walls would take on his fragility. He wondered if he, himself would ever rightfully inhabit the old, dusty castle. The answer would presumably be no. For now. He may change his mind when his heart doesn't hurt.

Sebastian leaped from the roof, landing directly in front of two teenagers and hissed, leaving no room for emotion. "Do you two have any respect for your fallen king or do you think his death is a joke?"

The young male startled, turned around and lowered his old, classic camera. His dark green eyes wide and his mouth agape at the sight of Sebastian. The young female looked down at her pink heels, avoiding Sebastian's expressionless gaze. Clearly embarrassed to be caught by the new King, the former King's brother. Probably an extremely awkward moment for all three. The young male started, but then shut his mouth, and stared fearfully at Sebastian.

"The castle isn't your playground for pictures." Sebastian added, looking less threatening but still remained firm. He didn't want to be feared. Not really. He wanted respect, and while one may gain respect through fear, he wanted respect through love, compassion, and fairness. He did not want to be a cruel man like his abusive, corrupted father.

"We know, but she liked the setting. I couldn't coax Melonie out of it. I'm sorry, King Sebastian. We don't mean any disrespect to King Creedence or any of the Royal family." The young male acknowledged sweetly.

"What's your name, kid?" Sebastian asked, randomly.

"Reece Lilly, sir."

"Nice to meet you, Reece, and your friend." Sebastian acknowledged Reece's female friend. "But may I speak to you alone? Melonie can run along and wait for you wherever."

Melonie frowned, looking about as stubborn as she could muster into an expression, but said nothing as Reece agreed.

Sebastian began walking with the young male and studied the narrow street ahead of them. "How long have you been doing photography?" Sebastian inquired, inquisitively.

Reece, who stood about five inches shorter, glanced up at Sebastian astonished. "I-" He cleared his throat, not wanting to squeak or sound pitchy. "I have been doing this since my father found this camera exploring the Sessian Forest. He gifted me this at twelve. I'm fourteen now. He thought I should leave behind a legacy of capturing the world and it's inhabitants through photograph." Reece confidently answered, sidestepping a couple of little girls who pushed around a small, pink rubber ball teasing their fluffy, white hellhound. Sebastian chuckled, seeing the mischief in the children's eyes, and shook his head, smiling. "You're young to be thinking about a legacy to leave behind? Do you plan on dying anytime, Reece?"

Reece took several minutes to respond. He probably had to think about what kind of answer he should give his King. What would Ben say? Sebastian thought bitterly. When Reece finally responded, there was deep sadness lacing his words. "No one knows when he or she may die. There could be alot of factors moving towards your eternal death or your eternal life. God is the only one who truly knows and decides are death. Why shouldn't I get ahead and create a legacy? My father died before he could create his own."

Sebastian winced, looking down at the young boy. "Reece, your father, did create a legacy."

"Really? What is it? Did you know him?" Reece shot questions at Sebastian like a train speedily running down it's iron train tracks.

"I don't know who your father is, but I do know, his legacy lives on in his children. You. You are his legacy. You're his greatest creation and that is something you should know he is most proud of."

Reece paused, his boots crunching on the pebbles underfoot. "Forgive me for asking, but how do you know, Sir?"

Shy as Reece pretended to be, Sebastian gave him credit for asking the tough questions, the questions no one is brave enough to ask and some aren't brave enough to answer. He smiled, shoving his cold hands into his black pants pockets. "Because every parent is a creator and should be proud of their creation."

"Was your parents proud of their creations?" Reece asked, causing Sebastian's heart to palpitate for a moment.

"I only ever had my brother and his wife. My parents never cared for me, but perhaps their proud of their other children. Who knows? What I can tell you, is even if Creedence wasn't my father, and Elona wasn't my mother, they were proud of me and left me their most precious creations in my safe hands." He smiled, up the gray, cloudy sky. "And they can count on me to raise them as they did me."

Reece yelped, tripping over a large rock because he looked up like Sebastian and landed awkward on the middle of rusted, train tracks.

Sebastian chuckled, kneeling in front of the little photographer. "You alright, love?"

"Just shocked is all."

"Not too surprising, but I'd forgotten these tracks were here. No train has been here since the First War." Sebastian's eyes trailed down the train tracks noticing how it curved and fled into the mountains beyond to Lord knows where. Probably to the abandoned Nelessa train station, rotting somewhere beyond the Golnessa Mountains.

"Apparently, none of the Queens of Legend cared to remove the tracks. They're sure a hazard." Said, a very familiar voice. Sebastian scampered to his feet and whirled around to find himself facing Ben. Of course, it was Ben. It always was Ben.

Sebastian could hear Reece mumbling profanities under his breathe as he brushed debris particles off his stark white pants. Ignoring, the teenager, he zeroed in his focus on Ben. He frowned, catching glimpses of the tear stains on Ben's and the puffiness of his red eyes. He had been crying. Sebastian hadn't thought of the consequences and damage his words may have caused. Guilt racked his heart like an iron grip of fist crushing a rock to dust. He breathed, schooling his face into a neutral expression. "Ben.. How did you find me?" He immediately regretted the question as Ben could sniff out his scent among other mingling scents and track him down easily. What a stupid question, he cursed himself mentally.

"I didn't. You found me, actually. I camped in the hammock over there. I caught a whiff of your scent and the boy's before I heard your footsteps crunching among the snow. I waited to see what you were doing with him til now." Ben gestured to a turquoise and red hammock tied between to large oak trees.

"Wait! You're Ben? The infamous lover of Sebastian?" Reece said, excitedly and very picthy. His voice rose several octaves. Sebastian's ear began to ring. "I've always wanted to meet the warrior who swept my King's feet out from underneath him and brought him out of his shell! He's so involved now with his warriors, including me and it's so wonderful. Thank you so much, Ben!"

Ben flinched, his expression guarded. "Um, you're welcome?"

Sebastian clamped a hand over Reece's mouth to keep him from blabbering about and killing his ears again. "If I let you go, will you be quiet?" Sebastian asked, his voice rough.

Reece nodded and Sebastian released him, shooting a glance that said sorry to Ben, who was grinning. Clearly, he thought the encounter was hilarious. Sebastian might've smacked him if he'd been anyone else, but for some reason, Ben's grin melted his heart.

"Ben, I apologize for what I said yesterday. I was exhausted and overreacted which was immaturely of me." Sebastian tried to keep his voice steady and not stressed.

Ben looked away, pulling his gray coat closer to him and sighed, his breath making circles in the cold air. "Don't apologize for being right. You were right. I am immature and I do need to grow up. But I think putting myself in a setting of maturity and grace will help me learn to be an adult."

Sebastian saw his heterochromic pale green and bright blue eyes were glossy with unshed tears. He longed to hold his partner, to console him, but figured Ben would reject the affection. Comforting came easy to Ben, but as for being comforted, was a difficult and different game. Sebastian stepped closer, ignoring the fact he stepped on Reece's foot and his yelp. He touched Ben's cool, flushed red cheek. "I still think you shouldn't put too much responsibility and pressure on yourself, but I will support your decision whatever it may be. Because I love you and I don't want to lose you. I never want to lose you."

Ben nuzzled his palm with his cheek, closing his eyes. "I love you so much." A small, stray tear trailed down his cheek and Sebastian hastily wiped it away.

Reece said, in awe. "You two are such a successful couple. I wish I had something special like you two do."

Sebastian momentarily forgotten the teenager was standing their witnessing their reconciliation. He shot one last look at Ben, who opened his eyes and gazed down at the young teenager calmly, and smiled over at Reece. "Isn't Melonie your girlfriend?"

Reece laughed, looking embarrassed, and awkward especially among the presence of two very much in love men. "Melonie is my sister. I don't have a girlfriend, but I do have a small crush on a girl." He rubbed his slender, tan hands together as if he were warming them.

The only one likely to be extremely cold, was Ben. Being a vampire meant not being bothered by the bipolar weather, though Sebastian still had the blood of a mortal, he could feel the cold but wasn't very bothered.

"Maybe we can help you get your first girlfriend." Ben suggested before Sebastian could form a thought other than how red Ben's cheeks had turned.

"No.. I couldn't possibly ask you to do that.." Reece's cheeks flushed beet red. Either embarrassed or shocked, Sebastian could tell by reading his face. However, being able to hear his thoughts, Reece wanted very much for him and Ben to help him.

"You didn't have to ask, we're offering. Besides, I think Crescent and Caereli would be grateful to have new friends too." Sebastian intercepted Ben's lazy response.

"You seriously want to help a peasant like me? Why?"

Sebastian smiled over at Ben, who shared the same smile. "Because once upon a time, we had help getting together. My siblings were very persistent. We're happy to help someone who deserves it. Love is powerful and-"

"And it never fails." Ben finished for him.

Sebastian seen the wheels turning inside Reece's head. Ideas floating around. Thoughts of disbelief and excitement flooding Sebastian's mind. His dark green eyes met his. He parted his lips and emitted a sound, lost amidst the thoughts driving into his head. He presumed the teenager said, yes.

And Sebastian, really, genuinely smiled.

1 note · View note