#but then again i don't rlly have a dream job. i have smth i want to do but it doesn't rlly allign with my degree
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#if i don't get this out of my system i may explode lmao#but man the fact that im not a uni student anymore is getting more and more real with each passing day n the fact that i have to start#searching for a job is getting more and more real each day and it's giving such huge amount of anxiety bcs im scared abt what's to come#i'm terrified of getting a job i hate. i'm terrified of losing my life in something that drains me. i'm terrified of getting stuch where#i am. of seeing my life pass and not accomplishing what i want. of everything i've dreamed of stays as that. a dream.#i'm terrified of being stuck in this country. in this city. bcs all i wanna do is leave but i dont have the means to do it!!!!!!#i dont have the money. my mom doesn't have the money and im scared. terrified of dedicating my life to working for it to be all pointless#i wanna travel n i wanna leave n i wanna land a job that i like!!!!!!!!!!!!#i don't think i'm fit for capitalism bcs routine bores me. bcs i don't want to lose my life in a job i hate#but then again i don't rlly have a dream job. i have smth i want to do but it doesn't rlly allign with my degree#and i'm scared!!!! of not being able to accomplish it!!!!!!!!! i'm so terrified of never doing what i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i'm terrified of staying here bcs it's easier and less scary. i don't want to live a life of it is what it is!!!!!!!!#but everything at this point overwhelms me and idk where to start!!!!!!! idk what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i feel so silly by#asking other ppl bcs they don't have the answer n i hate it. bcs i need an answer i need to know im gonna be okay#life is unexpected n that alone makes me dread it. bcs i don't have full control of what's to come#sure i can do things to get me where i want to be but it's not 100% guaranteed it will happen the way i want it to#like. i dropped out of a major i thought i wanted n loved. i got a degree in smth that isn#isn't rlly a passion of mine#i dread the unexpected. i dread not having full control. i dread not knowing stuff#i dread things going out of plan n sure i do have a life plan#but i'm terrified of it just being a life plan#peace n love on planet earth#jo.txt
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*ahem*
hello there
I saw the ask thing, and so now it's my turn >:D
17: do you belive in ghosts?
21 + 22: what are your least and most favorite subjects in school?
30: what song is currently stuck in your head?
47 (but changed): what did you want to be when you were a little kid?
53: what’s the last dream you remember having?
61: where is a place that you’d love to visit?
78: what's your favorite animal?
84: what’s your favourite insect?
89: what are your thoughts on roller coasters?
90: what’s your favourite mythical creature?
don't feel pressured to answer all of them!
have a lovely timezone kimmmm <3333
SHROOM HII THX FOR ASKING <33
17.) Nopee, they're silly but maybe once a year id go into a full on ghost hunting/summoning kinda mood AHAHAHAH
21-22.)My least fav subject would be any of the languages taught tbh, doesn't matter if it's English, Filipino, Arabic, french, like bro do u expect my shitty memory to remember all that??? 😭😭 And for favorite, it's math surprise ✨ bcs i see it as a video game challenge/puzzle, so kinda makes sense how I would solve some if I'm bored, like back when I was still in school, I used to open my textbook, flip to the 2nd half of the book and find smth that interests me so I can solve it, then future me would either be confused, horrified or relieved to see it already solved LMAOOO
30.) Jazz on the clock by Luxiem!! It's such a vibe, the 'DA DA DU BI DU BI DO' just REPEATS in my head
47.) Ive never rlly thought abt future jobs that age I think? But at most I guess it would be an artist, like- just an 'artist' nothing specified 😭 now I think about it, it's pretty silly and idealistic bcs living off from making art?? Naw that's just too idealistic 💀💀
53.) I literally don't remember bcs I don't have dreams often 🧍♂️ like maybe every few months I would 😭😭
61.) Visit? Then uhhh maybe Ibaraki in Japan, I wanna see those flower fields 🫶✨
78.) Ferrets and cats :33
84.) Don't have one bcs I'm prob enemies to all insects 😭😭 but I'd say bees and ladybugs, they're nice to look at
89.) I LOVE THEM!!! I LOVE DRAGGING MY SIS TO THEM BCS SHES SCARED SHITLESS, although I haven't rode one since like 5th grade or smth :''') BUT DURING THAT TIME I KEPT ON GOING AT IT LIKE 5??? OR SO TIMES STRAIGHT LMAOOO
90.) UHHHHHH I haven't rlly thought abt it but maybe elves??? Idk
TY AGAIN FOR ASKING THAT WAS FUN TO ANSWER <3333
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reviewing all 25 of my fics !!!!!
i have never read my writing! i just did. some was good, some was bad, here's my review and at the end there's a tier list C:
curiosity one
actively throwing up i hated every little bit of that i'm so glad i'm rewriting that oh my god why was that so popular?? 🤢
i can confidently say i no longer feel this way vvvv
curiosity two
ehhh getting better but still not the best. but at least i didn't cringe my way through the fic this time!! :D
curiosity three
writing is iffy because i'm mixing two different writing styles together
HOWEVER i LOVE the h/c in this therefore it is so far my favorite chapter :D
"tommy calm down, it's just a drink, see?" is just WJKEJFNRDNF i love it for no reason :D the interactions in this i admit are really nice
curiosity four
supposed to be an exiting chapter but tbh i did not execute that too well
uhh yippeee he's out!!!
curiosity five
mmm mm m mmmm idk how to feel about this one
very fast paced i will admit
this whole series is so fucking rushed 😭
curiosity six
meh
dialogue is pretty cool tho
overall this series is rushed and poorly made lmaooo
wilbur chocolate 1
okay this is pretty good
not lovely but it's readable and i honestly love this au so i'm not gonna diss it too hard
wilbur chocolate 2
i like this one
dialogue go brrr
also i feel like i executed wil's panic semi-well? i definitely made him have some trust in tommy way too soon but yk
i'll run away and hide with you
ehhh there's nothing technically wrong with it,,,,,
no real comments it's fine ig
spy au: unofficial prologue
idk there's nothing wrong with it like this fic !! :D
2022 summer exchange
again too rushed i need to draw out trust it doesn't happen in two minutes!!!
"you're pretty" makes me happy tho. don't ship dnf too hard but i like it :DD
ghosts are better than humans
writing is iffy but it's cute !!
company & repairs 1
first fic and it's mid. i got fanart for it though, that's pretty cool :D (i toooootally didn't ask for it, i got it just by pure chance. totally!)
mm i could've written his injuries better
i like my use of internal questions
dude in my earlier fics i was so scared to write like product names and the word "scream" and "yell" bc i didn't want it to come off as cringe like wth that is literally so bad
i let go, when i should've held tighter/an inconvenience, at best 1
typos are bad. bad bad.
writing can 100% be difficult
ended up deleting it to redo it bc after all this worldbuilding i need to redo some things :)
also dialogue is everything but accurate
never fucking again.
ok ummm i could've done his pain a lot better
i've gotten better at writing mental health so i'm going to rewrite this someday
but to be fair i wrote this alongside many other things that day---i was doing a bet,,,,
writing is actually kind of decent and i love how chill tommy is lmaooo "well, he fucked that one up" "at least he got his powers working"
apart from thattt i LOVE this au and am excited to write the first chapter :D
oh, george
okay time to see all the hype around this. 93 notes???? this better be good
not worth all the notes (sosososo grateful for those btw almost 100 notes that is AWESOME) but i can see why it was liked. i can usually tell if this community will eat smth up or not,,,
don't fall
i liked that
definitely my favorite so far
writing is decent and it's fluffy so i like it :DD good job me C:<
heavy is the head that gets no sleep
mm cute i like it :D
top for sure
2022 secret santa: too good to be true
okay the idea for this was like actually awesome, i loved having dream like kinda do into that trance thingy and having it fade in later. and i like how i incorporated "bitter stares" into it.
however there's a severe lack of dialogue and the action is drawn out, far too short and not properly there
it also felt rlly short so there's that,,,
the act of making noise 1
i like this one! it could be a little bit better but tbh it's a good au and i like the writing a lot more than some of my other fics so it s a win from me :D
i also think i has a nice flow to it? that could just be me tho
counting down the seconds
v bad i can see why this didn't do too well
deleting it cause this au is on hiatus,, might give it out as a prompt now :D
uhh writing wasn't too good and it was very boring, way too long asw,,,
mere monstrosity
I LOVED THAT??
it's actually well written??
WRITING SHANE IS SO FUN HIS DIALOGUE IS THE BEST----
this is such an underrated fic of mine istggg
top fics for sureee
sfdjsdjgdnf SHANE'S DIALOGUEEEE!!!!! I WILL GLADDLY WRITE MORE OF HIM!!
the little things (written)
badly written, fluffy, one of my oldest fics
cory's notes give me life tho <333 "your writing makes me feel warm" AJGFSAJDGEFJDNF i love cory smsm :D
shroud, you savior?
eh
good fic idea, poorly executed
and oh my god in my earlier fics i'm realizing how oblivious i was to how puncuation worked, especially for my dialogueeeeeee!! it makes me feel terrible reading it,,,,,
also the amount of fluff-to-angst ratio is good, but again i need to write panic better,,,,
hush 1
YES! I LIKE THIS! to be fair it's my newest fic but STILL i like this a lot!!!
good angst, suspense could be a tiiiny bit better but i still rlly like this!!! top fic for sure C:<
switched
fluff. fluff fluff fluff. writing aside the mouthplay scenes are the best things ever i am so happy this exists !!!!!!!!!
wow i have an excruciating number of fics. i did not like reading them :'D
tier list time >:D (more under cut)
Keep reading
hush 1 (writing, dialogue, plot, everything is good imo)
don't fall (if the writing for this was better it'd be #1 !! the fluff, this entire au in general, "i won't hurt you" mmmm this is a yummy fic !!!)
mere monstrosity (speaks for itself. i loved this fic! it's a bit rocky in the beginning but i just love shane sm <3)
the act of making noise 1 (YES this is good. the overall plot is iffy but i like chapter one so far, hopefully i can take this au in the right direction !!)
curiosity killed the cat 3 ("it's just a drink, see?" mm yummy)
heavy is the head that gets no sleep (prime boys my belovedd)
spy au: unofficial prologue (i just have a thing for spy!dnf <33)
wilbur chocolate 2 (like i said, dialogue go brrrr, and it's actually a decent sequel. wilbur chocolate beloved asw >:D)
wilbur chocolate 1 (angst beloved)
ghosts are better than humans (it's simple. i didn't overdo it,,,)
i let go when i should've held tighter/spy au 1 (spy au belovedd!!!)
never fucking again (love this au sm, my opinion is swayed again)
switched (tinies overcoming their fear of getting nommed is such a high trope for me,,,)
oh, george (my opinion is swayed bc of the tiktok it's based off of)
2022 secret santa: too good to be true (honestly despite my lack of flow & dialogue its pretty good)
2022 summer exchange (honestly idk why i don't rlly like this---i'm making a part two so some part of me should enjoy it?)
shroud, you savior? (ok this fic is an era to me it brings back positive memories :] also ppl like this so i meannn)
curiosity killed the cat 2 (he and wilbur talk, what's not to like? i like this chapter a lot actually)
the little things (little streamer au my belovedd)
curiosity killed the cat 6 (everything is revealed!!!! and wilbur not being able to really do anthing cause a. he's in tommy's storage and b. he's a traitor, kidnapper and villain in tommy's eyes)
i'll run away and hide with you (idkkkk why i don't like this either. to be fair nothing's really wrong with it,,)
company & repairs 1 (again memories and also idk this was my first fic, i think nostalgia is helping my decision)
curiosity killed the cat 4 (he gets out, that's pretty cool)
counting down the seconds (eeeehhh this used to be a cool au of mine but that was before i just stopped working on it and i realized it wasn't that cool,,)
curiosity killed the cat 1 (No.)
i switched these around so much lmaoo but i was dead set on the last two. curiosity was so bad wtf??
#talking brick#tw implication/mention#mw#all aus#this took FOREVER#why didn't anyone tell me curiosity sucked???#i would've worked on rewriting it sooner-----#anyways#mcyt g/t#dsmp g/t#g/t#fic review#dream smp g/t#dsmp gt#mcyt gt#LONG post#brick does tier lists
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Basically a review of OP episode 503 ig
Currently rewatching post-war arc (in the dub so I don't have any screenshots for u guys sry) and theres a few things id like to point out.
During a conversation Dadan once had with Garp, they were talking about Roger. Garp said that even if they were facing powerful enemies, he would never run away because he wouldnt dare leaving his comrads behind; it wasnt an option for him. Obviously we see this in Ace. But ALSO, isnt this what he did with Katakuri? It was a little different cuz of the setting mostly, but he separated himself from his crew to fight off katakuri, and lied to them about being okay so they didn't worry (he was already getting his ass kicked by then, so he just made that stupid smile and told them not to worry (or smth like that, I can remember the exact line) (that smile was so gross and fake cuz he fucking sucks at lying). Also he said roger destroyed a buncha soldiers cuz they mouthed off his men. That's what Ace tried to do but instead he died. :(
"The pain he went through just made him hold on tighter to the ones he loved" -Garp, about Roger. "Despite his flaws and his bad reputation, his crew still trusted him completely." -also Garp, about Roger. These both sound a lot like Luffy AND Ace.
When Dogra got home and told everyone about Sabo's ship being shit down and him dying (which we all know didnt happen, thank fuck), (by the way the absolutely lost looks on Ace's and Luffy's faces with the sudden silence hurt like a bitch), Luffy started crying and said "WE SHOULDNT'A LET HIM GO, IT'S ALL OUR FAULT". Which fucking says something about him (thinking of episodes 913-915 when he goes fucking berserk, but before that he learns that Kaido probably killed Tama and he says "I should've escorted them..!" (*ugly cries*)). Ace also reacted pretty similarly-- "Sabo...why didn't we go back into town and bring him back here?! We're so stupid!" And he gets mad and asks where he could find the bastard that killed him (obviously not getting a good answer since it was a fucking celestial dragon ugh). That is what Luffy does, in present time. He results to anger first, not sadness. Not sure when he learned to do that but I'm 99 percent sure it was from Ace. Also the blaming himself thing? High chance thats ALSO from Ace. Who else would teach him that self hating behaviour?!
Dadan pins Ace down to stop him from going after the Celestial Dragon to calm him down, telling him he cant do anything, he's not big or strong enough to do anything and he'll be killed as soon as he tries anything, especially since it was the whole country -the whole WORLD- that killed Sabo. He can't do anything. And then they tied him to a tree outside to let him cool off. Oh yeah then he also told luffy to stop crying like a little girl or else he'll- (and he didn't finish the sentence). ...Ok maybe thats why luffy started being more angry than sad.
This is where things get a little more :( . Ace reads the letter Sabo sent them before he died. As he reads, he walks to the end of the forest, to a cliff overlooking the ocean. And starts fucking bawling (btw the voice actor who had Ace's childhood part did not do a very good job, no where near as in character and real as Coleen Clickenberg did with all of Luffy's crying scenes. She was spot on.) ...do you see where im going with that? He isolated himself before letting himself feel sad. It was all rage and then calm beforehand. Y-you see where im going with that. Dont make me say it.
"How's Luffy doing, is he any better?" "Well...he hasnt been eating much, but he still eats twice as much as we do". Oh look, That's what happened after Ace died too. There's a behavioral pattern that hasnt gone away. Not sure why it wouldve tho.
Luffy is mopeing, lying on the ground in a similar setting ace was at when he cried. Hes thinking about some of the things Sabo said, like how theyre gonna sail the seas together, and he clenches his hands into tight, shaking fists. After Ace shows up and hits him, and talking abt some other stuff I don't feel like relaying, Luffy tightens his grip on the straw hat and tells ace, whimpering, he wants to get stronger (and stronger, and stronger, and stronger and stronger and....) And he wants to be the strongest in the world. "And then, I'll protect everyone. I won't lose anyone I care about". He gets stronger mainly to protect the people he loves. And then he asks ace to promise he won't die. To which he hits Luffy again and tells him he should be more worried about himself dying first. And then the famous line that hurts like a bitch- "I'm NEVER going to DIE!" And then this hopeful music comes on (fucking damnit funimation, u gotta do this? Really??) Also he says he wont die as long as he has a wussy little brother to protect. ...FUCK. Ok, the fist clenching is a thing he does all the fucking time, usually when he gets mad. This was different because he wasnt mad, he was sad. He clenched his fist because thinking about it hurt. Which, huh, sounds a lot like his whole episode after waking up from his 2 week coma on the polar tang. To try and stop the mental pain of those horrendous memories, he resulted to physically pain. He hurt himself. So, He clenches his fists in times like these to fight off the mental pain and the urge to cause himself physical pain. Guys, our boy is bad at emotions, help him. ....ok this paragraph is longer than I anticipated so ill dumb down the rest of it ig. Next part, him asking ace to promise he wont die. The music, the body language, the over change in mood- this comforts him. He stopped hiding his face and silently sobbing after ace said this. OH YEAH! didn't he tell jinbe not to die when they parted ways in Totto Land? And then, hes missing still in Wano and we see Luffy is worried....but convinced Jinbe will show up. Again, this comforts him. Hes nervous cuz someone KOFF KOFF ACE broke that promise once. But jinbe is his crew mate so he trusts him, thank god.
"-But whoever did it, they must be opposed to freedom." The whole freedom thing? That runs through Luffy's blood and spirit.His brothers fought for it, his dad is the man who strives to give everyone freedom basically, and Luffy himself has seen enough of the OPPOSITE of freedom to be so, so much more than just against it. Hence why he of course was so eager to free the slaves in Sabaody, the kids in punk hazard, the toys in dressrosa, the country of Wano from Kaido's tyrany. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree huh.
I dont think Luffy would remember his promise with Shanks if it werent for his brothers putting feul to his dream. It was a stupid bet at first; he just wanted to beat Shanks, right then. But after meeting Sabo and Ace, he found the opposite of freedom and human rights. And then he wanted, REALLY wanted, to become the free-est man in the world; the pirate king.
Last one i promise ok? This one is less connected to whats going on in the episode at this point, but something I noticed (its so obvious everyone has seen this ok) was when luffy cries, his posture is always open. He doesn't curl in on himself like many people would do (I know I would, lol). He doesnt hug himself, protect himself. He's just, opened up to whoever is watching, literally. This has a little more to do with something I haven't talked about much in this post yet; his self-destruction issues. I said he tried to hurt himself when he felt mental pain, which is definitely similar. But he cries and doesnt try to protect or comfort himself, like he doesn't have that programmed into his mind. Reminder that he only wants to live because of his dream, and if he doesnt have his dream, he wants to die. (Whoa.). Ok, so no self preservation mechanism at all rlly. Hes basically ride or die. So, when things hurt so much that he cries, he has no hope left. He just kinda...dies inside. So this was mildly different after sabo died. Yes we saw him just standing there, sobbing. But the next day he's still crying, and instead he's laying on the ground. I saw that and the voice in the back of my head told me he wanted to be a part of that lifeless dirt beneath him. Then, Ace walked over. And his words made him feel the hope that I told you about earlier, and he sat up into a sitting position. And HUGGED HIS LEGS TO HIS CHEST. There's some self preservation! Some hope! Some will to exist, to live! Something we saw none of as he sat in front of his brothers corpse, shutting down. He sat there, open to his enemies, incapable of protecting himself. Practically anyone couldve killed him right then and there. I think he mightve liked that, at that moment. Like thank god he has that stupidly good luck cuz if he didn't I swear someone couldve thrown and axe or FUCKING ANYTHING AT THAT MOMENT and hed be dead becuase he never physically or mentally prepared himself. On purpose.
Our poor boy needs some fucking attention and therapists. (Insert my rant post about how jinbe is on the crew primarily for anger management and therapy, not just being a helmsman.) Ugh, smh ugly cries
Aaaaand thats about the end of the episode. Theres so many little tics and peesonality traits that you notive thru this episode, and I only noticed them cuz im rewatching this part of the show for like the third time. I don't react as much as the first time of course but some things are definitely sadder after knowing what's going on and what will happen later on.
Moral of the story (post)? I think luffy is almost equally as alike -if not, more similar to roger as ace is. Also, high key genuinely think Luffy met like NO ONE but Garp before he met Shanks and his crew. What the fuck was his first like 5 years of being alive like? (He wantd to be a pirate cuz Garp didnt want that. Rebellious baby asshole. And then shanks made things worse, in a good way for luffy. And then ace and sabo made that worse thing worse for a good reason. Luffy lives...for those influences. And that is fucking it. Why.
Oh thanks tumblr for moving my picture to the bottom of the post u fucking idiot
#ugly cries#ugh#i need to stop#i need to stop talking#pls#just read my rants ok#i guess#MY BACK HHHUUUUURRRRTTSSSSSS#UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH#SOBS#straggler.txt#headcanon#hc#one piece#one piece ace#one piece spoilers#monkey d. luffy#luffy one piece#im garbage#hha h a#review#episode review#episode 503#ackackack#i need to pee#i need to stop torturing luffy with my crazy ideas#hhhhhh#love u guys#bye ig
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