#but the tONAL WHIPLASH of me going 'hehe i think this silly little video is fun and i'm going to send it to my mom while eating instant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tsuncda · 3 years

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every time i log onto instagram to send my mom a silly video i’ve downloaded from this hellsite, another one of my friends is engaged to be married and i just—

#olive rambles #misc #me: *shaking in my boots* hOw OlD aM i AgAiN??????????#*frantically googling in all caps 'MEAN AGE OF MARRIAGE IN THE US' while the camera is shaking and there's sounds of bombs dropping #and then i read their captions and it's like '12 months down :) ' because they've oNLY KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A YEAR—#like listen listen listen. marry who you want. you do you. be happy and find what makes you feel loved. i wish you the best.#but the tONAL WHIPLASH of me going 'hehe i think this silly little video is fun and i'm going to send it to my mom while eating instant #saimin from two rooms over' to 'we're happily engaged!!! you've never seen this man on my insta before but 12 months down eternity to go <3'#throws me for a lOOP. EVERY. TIME.#the first time it was literally 3 months after graduating hIGH SCHOOL. BABIES!!!!!!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!!#and like yeah; marriages can work. it's about /wanting/ to put the effort in. i know i know.#but i am inherently wary of marriage and i can't stop seeing myself and my friends as cHILDREN who don't have their lives together.#bro.................. i am happy for them but also i am the pessimist of the group who has taken way too many family life courses to be #100% on board with that decision.#i wouldn't want to LIVE with a man i've only known for a year let alone GET MARRIED TO HIM.#like damn i know i have a lot of LDS friends and i know it's stats that they get married younger but gIRL!!!!!!!#you haven't even reached 20 yet!!!!!!!!!! i wish you the best and i sincerely hope it works out for you.#but also one of my viable career paths is marriage/family counselor for a reason.#i'm not saying it's necessary for you to date around first but i am saying you should know yourself first and girl how cAN you.#and like okay i know i have been very hard in this particular rant but that's because marriage is terrifying!!!!! and it sHOULD be!!!!#that's a big step!!!!! it's like deciding that you've swimmed in the shallows and now you're ready for the ocean!!!!!#but on the other hand i am decidedly nOT the expert on marriage and should have no say in my friends choice.#if she thinks she can do it - more power to her. i truly dO wish her the best. we haven't even talked all that much since high school so i #have the least bearing on her preparedness for marriage.#this is a choice she's gotta make.#it's just so odd to me because it feels like literally yesterday that we were in 8th grade and she was the shy band kid who did and english #project with me for 20 points extra credit. it feels like five minutes ago that we were groaning over math homework.#it feels like i just got off the phone with her; giggling over the too-tall blonde boy she had a crush on and was too shy to wave to.#and now i'm finding out she's getting engaged via an instagram post that i'm two days late to and i just sit here quietly thinking........#where does the time go? and where will it lead?

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