#but that's sort of cheating because you wouldn't have to actually deal with Muu but with her coworkers

[weather-cluddy]

#tier list of milgrm characrers based on how good theyd be at customer service

Mikoto: On one hand, the stress of customer service is nothing compared to his old job, and the concept of worker’s rights is alien to him so he’ll never use his paid holidays or complain about sudden overtime. On the other, he’s prone to getting bullied by the customers. He can somewhat handle it if they’re asking for something explicitly banned in the rulebook, but otherwise he WILL spend hours trying to appease a single angry customer, no matter how unreasonable they’re being.

Mahiru: The good news is that she’s super friendly and attentive and will become a draw to your store all on her own. The bad news is that she will hold up the line endlessly by shooting the breeze with all the customers, and that she has no regard to proper staff-client relations re:flirting. It’s only a matter of time before she either gets a bunch of complaints or somebody who’s got it into their head that she’s into them sees her making eyes at other people and a fistfight breaks out. Especially because she would think a duel over her love is extremely romantic and encourage it.

Shidou: Has all the charisma of a wet paper napkin, but he’ll still drive traffic to the store just because he’s hot (an actual canon fact about Shidou). The very concept of upselling confuses and annoys him, though, so he doesn't make as much use of his popularity as Mahiru (who doesn't consciously upsell but does talk about these super cool headphones that just came in, for example, and her enthusiasm is contagious). He does have the minor advantage of knowing first aid in case of emergency.

Kazui: He’s an alright employee, but expect twenty smoking breaks a day. If you try to overwork him he’ll start loudly complaining about his back and find a way to “mishear” your requests for overtime. This old man’s hearing is starting to go, you know.

Yuno: Pretty and charming, she’ll definitely be an asset to any store. The only reason she ranks so low is because as soon as she gets bored of the job she’ll just leave in the middle of her lunch break and disappear forever, not even giving you a way to contact her to give the last paycheck. She doesn’t need the money, anyway.

Haruka: Tries his best but half the time he’s too afraid to even form a coherent sentence. Whenever he’s driven to the edge, which is often, he just sits there and cries loudly, making everybody uncomfortable. He’s alright at the non-public facing part of the job like restocking or cleaning, though.

Muu: Can and will fight any customer who interrupts her Candy Crush. Works only when she feels like roleplaying as a lower-class peasant, which is rarely. Nevertheless her parents will under no circumstances allow you to fire her, so she essentially becomes a payroll parasite who sits backs while her coworkers do the actual job. Because she’s so unengaged, even when she does feel like doing stuff she’ll try to use outdated systems (like restocking items in the shelf where they used to go three months ago, and then being catty to other employees because they did it all wrong and dumped all the work of fixing it on her)

Fuuta: More aggressive than Muu, but also much more fire-able so you won’t have to stand him for long (this might actually make him a better employee overall, depending on perspective). If the store sells anything that people tend to have strong opinions about (not just videogames but also electronics or music CDs), expect him to have very intense thoughts on every single item and trot them out at the slightest provocation. Buyers must first agree with each and every one of his points before he’ll allow them to buy anything, thanks to him the sales for every brand but one absolutely plummet and you're left with so much extra stock. He probably spends his breaks hyperventilating with anxiety and/or rage in the employee’s room.

Kotoko: An average employee at a first glance, not all that warm or helpful but decent enough. The problem is that it seems like difficult customers tend to have strange accidents soon after visiting your store, and people are beginning to suspect something fishy is going on.

Amane: She’d actually be fairly good at the whole enterprise, if a bit inflexible, but you’ll get police reports about child labor within the day. I know some of the other prisoners are underage too, but she’s the only one who you definitely can’t pass off as an 18 years old with a babyface. She wouldn’t let you lie about it even if you could, either.

Unknown ranking: Jackalope. I mean, if he can handle cooking for almost a dozen people daily he can probably handle the counter? The "can't talk" part might be a problem but the gimmick might attract people anyways. Actually it might be a bigger problem if he could talk, considering his personality. I'm not sure what animal welfare laws are like for this, but I guess a veterinarian could certify it seems healthy and that might be enough (but then again, Jackalope's obvious aggresion when the veterinarian starts talking about "the strange rabbit" might get him deemed unfit for public service).

Overall probably okay as long as he's got plenty of coworkers that can take over when communication fails or he needs to reach a high shelf. Regardless of what you're selling normally, you'll probably want to start bringing a modest amount of biology- and cryptid-related products, since so many people are gonna show up just to stare at the bizarrely intelligent creature.

Who do you think would do worse at a customer service job. Kajiyama rage quits videogames Fuuta or Kusunoki I have never done anything wrong in my life Muu