#but that's mostly bc i think the phrase 'have your horse and eat it too' is rly funny

[mumblesplash]

don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

we’ve had foster pupper harvey for like, a week, and so far:

-i have endured more dog spit than three humans should ever deal with, i am lubricated enough to become a giant slug at all times

-covered in the bruises and scratches one associates with very stressed, hostile cats seeing the giant barking baby for the first time he couldn’t get to them, there’s an aviary door, but apparently that doesn’t mean they can’t lose their shit and climb you like a tree... three separate times

-has somehow wiggled his giant fucking body through the dog fence, in what family has referred to as ‘the closest thing you’ll ever see to birth, head first, one shoulder, the other and he slides on out’, which is a phrase i never wanted to hear... 

-just fucking took off like a racecar after the nearest wallabies once outside the fence, requiring everyone to fucking run through ass-deep grass squeaking toys in order to find him, he thought it was HILARIOUS... sibling caught him eventually

-once caught, offered pure Passive Resistance by flopping to the ground and requiring himself to be half-carried, half-dragged back up the hill to home, then had a massive nap after his cuts and scratches were dealt with

-has adopted a not-so-helpful stalking walk when he sights a cat, thinks this will make him less spooky so he can talk to them... does not work; still not allowed near them

-can no longer go out into the yard without someone with him, has to go out on a lunge lead, specially bought in a huge hurry from local horse store... 

-refuses to do certain bathroom activities whilst on the lunge lead, waits until no one is looking, has gone through an obscene amount of puppy pads in the last few days... literally, 110 pack, 5 left...

had to buy more. like, they’re $25 for a big pack (puppy pads are just blueys, like in hospitals, let’s be real) so some of us are very poor

-cannot be allowed to be alone in the house... will eat literally anything.  fucking ANYTHING, has chewed no less than three shaving razors to shreds, somehow avoiding causing any damage to his mouth??? also took out several dolls, a pumice stone, a plate, and several mad magazines... he’s a whirlwind

-has a cute little dance he doesw when excited, even when sitting his two front legs seem to tap out this pattern that always makes me think if the opening notes to Africa by toto

-still jumps up all the time, working on ‘down’, he gets it mostly. sometimes thwarts the rule by jumping up on the wall or nearby furniture, and falling back, into your arms. like some romance novel damsel in distress... who licks your face. lmao.

-have had to order a bunch of specialised items to work with him... so what we know about him after observing his behaviours over the last week is: -definitely ~8months, just very large -was a christmas puppy, who was originally very loved and always playing! -got too big, had no training or manners or boundaries -was clearly left outside, chained in a backyard for a significant length of time -his reactions when dealing with other animals, with people and how he responds on a lead have informed this analysis. whoever threw this boy away failed him, but at least he won’t spend his life tied up in a backyard desperate for love.

+he’ll need a ‘halti’ or however you say it. Special harness that allows you to control a large, powerful dog without having your arm wrenched from its socket... +getting a clicker, to reinforce training (has ‘sit’ and ‘down’ and ‘come’; about half the time. his emergency carers taught him ‘sit’ in a week, and we’re following on with more intense work) +special teeth-cleaning treat ball... for one, he’s a smart boy who would love a treat ball, but also it’ll be a good challenge + good for his mouth. +slow-feeder bowl. Harvey eats like the offspring of a vacuum cleaner and a leafblower, desperate and exploding it everywhere. He is under the impression it will disappear if he doesn’t get it immediately... (Harvey requires puppy food, but given how small the puppy food kibbles are, and how he eats at current, we have to give him regular optimum, just because the kibbles are larger... also they absorb water a little easier, which is how we slow his feeding down at current)

+a screaming chicken toy, he loves anything that squeaks, and will come immediately 

+stronger dog seatbelt

we already had a bed, bowl, blanket, handful of toys, harness, collar, etc. waiting for him, but it tends to amass to more once we meet the new doggos, and learn their specific needs.

-he is desexed, so that’s one less thing to worry about. 

-he is not currently adoptable, and likw Willow before him, will be with us for some time, just to learn how to calm down and accept affection without being so anxious. he’s a lovely boy, who is also a little shit, but we love him.

-he’s going to get bigger. Harvey has no fucking clue how big he is, or that suddenly licking someone up the leg/on the butt is not ‘cute’ and rather ‘sweet motherfucking christ what was that?!’  but he’s only 8 months and we think he’ll grow larger soon enough. he was a surprise when we got him/we were told ‘puppy’ and got a 26kg animal who could put his front paws on your shoulders and lick you on the forehead

-likes to chew on electrical cords, has given me a heart attack more than once

-can crawl through or over any barrier, #demon

-likes to fall asleep with his head on your feet/resting against your ankle, or with a paw touching you. very affectionate.

-can be supremely frustrating, but then, so are kids

-has to be reassured when put in bed/crate for night, or in the bathroom (bc it’s easier than trying to move another dog outside with him free)

-ww’ll have to create a run and reinforce the fences before he can run free

-has been known to pull clothes off the line, for fun. doesn’t ruin them, just... takes them off. has no concept of ‘games’. will chase a thrown ball, but does not think to retrieve it. willow had the same issue, she learned to play when socialised with the other dogs living in the household, but he’s not ready for that yet. soon.

-loves all the other dogs 100% does not understand jumping on them (esp. blind foster doggo Debbie) does not gain their love (he is pure puppy, no training, no manners, nothing but continuous frantic need for approval... working on calming him down, he has done really well since arriving, able to sit and have little naps, and one-on-one training/affection)

-he will be the perfect addition to a family soon enough, he’s soft and loving, very energetic, playful and fun. just needs to stabilise, grow reassured that he doesn’t need to be so desperate for affection and anxious, and learn to sit/stay/play. etc.

it’s been a big week and money should grow on trees, gdi

[baekuras]

About the "Get to know me!" ... All of them? X3

//cracks knucklesHERE I GO TELLING YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT MAGNIFICENT ME!

1. What is you middle//full name?My only name is Dalia and my last name which I won’t tell you, I don’t have a middle name

2. How old are you?17 years old and dying

3. What is your birthday?May 23rd!

4. What is your zodiac sign?Gemini~

5. What is your favorite color?Red nd Black nd Purple nd that one Blue is nice too

6. What’s your lucky number?Idk if its lucky but I like 7

7. Do you have any pets?Had fish and budgies before, got a single rabbit now who is 6 and still kicking like a youngster, he is great and nice and I honestly expected him to be dead by now because the others died so early but...thats good

8. Where are you from?Germany~

9. How tall are you?Like, 170cm

10. What shoe size are you?...I have no idea if you measure shoes differently in america/anywhere but here I am a 38

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?...I am not sure but I’d guess about 10? Maybe 2 or so more?

12. What was your last dream about?The one where a certain dragon king sniped an immortal black wizard and furries&co fought against gods

13. What talents do you have?Reading fast, determination

14. Are you psychic in any way?Idk if thats psychic but my gut is usually right? I dont think I am though

15. Favorite song?Right now I am Metal Gear Rising trash so....anything that played while Sam was being sassy on screen probably

16. Favorite movie?Dragon Riders probably

17. Who would be your ideal partner?Immortality, a good life, more art, all the animals

18. Do you want children?Whats a child can you eat it?

19. Do you want a church wedding?I would either go full fancy so yes w/ a big ass trip showing off how amazing me and my partner areOr just keep it lowkey, depends

20. Are you religious?Nah, on paper yes still but that will change soon because I won’t pay the church money if I don’t even go there

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yep, but only to visit, I myself was only at the childs doctor and dentist and idk if that rly counts

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?I tried to steal chocolate once because I didn’t have enough money...it didn’t work I am not a good thief apparently

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Myself every time I look in the mirror~But no

24. Baths or showers?SHOWERS! Except if you wanna relax and not wash yourself, then baths I guess

25. What color socks are you wearing?Gray(should have asked yesterday, those were warm, comfy red and black striped ones!

26. Have you ever been famous?For what? My huge ego and mood swings and anxiety and depression?Idk I don’t think I ever was or am right now, but I have gotten more “famous” so that’s cool

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Not like super big, no, but maybe big enough so that I can live comfortable or smth? I don’t want ALL the attention, only sometimes, but all the drama there...urgh no thanks

28. What type of music do you like?ALL

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?2!

31. What position do you usually sleep in?Right side or stomach, with head turned to right side, maybe one leg up

32. How big is your house?Lower floor, 4 rooms,bath,floors,cellar part,big enough though

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?NothingToast with something,or bread with something, on weekends though

34. Have you ever fired a gun?God I wish but no

35. Have you ever tried archery?Once! On a school festival! I wanna do it more and again but I can’t go into some club bc STRESS AND ALL THE SCHOOL AND FUCK HUMAN INTERACTIONS but i love it! I would love to actually ride on a horse doing so too because I love both, horse riding and archery!

36. Favorite clean word?Cat... karandasch sounds super nice too but it literally just means pencil(still,russian has some nice sounding words)

37. Favorite swear word?ALL OF THEM, mostly used one is fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?2 days

39. Do you have any scars?Just look at my left arm/handOne on the upper arm,one on the lower, one on the thumb, on on the hands inside, one on its back, maybe one on the...pointing finger...INDEX FINGERI treasure them tbh also they are pretty small except the one on the lowert arm and inner hand

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?I think I had once? People said so? But idk myself didnt care enough

41. Are you a good liar?Yep

42. Are you a good judge of character?I try

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?No

44. Do you have a strong accent?Dont think so

45. What is your favorite accent?Ones I understand without trouble

46. What is your personality type?INFP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?Can’t remember

48. Can you curl your tongue?Not anymore

49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie

50. Left or right handed?Right

51. Are you scared of spiders?Sometimes

52. Favorite food?CHICKENBREAST FILET W/ RICE AND SAUCE!!!!

53. Favorite foreign food?those crunchy chicken..things you can get at a chinese place? they are like...orangy? Pdoes that count i remeber loving them i want them and i wanna do them myself °^°

54. Are you a clean or messy person?Mess

55. Most used phrased?as if I’d notice that...(no rly idk)

56. Most used word?(also dunno)

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?10mins once i actually get up,otherwise 45mins+

58. Do you have much of an ego?...Yes and also no but yes

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Suck  them more than bite

60. Do you talk to yourself?ALL the time

61. Do you sing to yourself?all the singing time

62. Are you a good singer?....no

63. Biggest Fear?Being left by everyone I think? idk everything is going to shit anyway and here I sit, sipping a cup of cacao

64. Are you a gossip?Not rly

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?idk

66. Do you like long or short hair?BOTH! BOTH IS GREAT OMG!Long hair-you can do SO MUCH with it like style wise and short hair just looks rly amazing too its just so niiiiice to have too and aRGH HAIR IN GENERAL IS AMAZING AND I LOVE IT!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?Bro, I cant even name all states of germany how tf am I supossed to tell americas states? We got Washington...Texas apparently exists,canada is on top of america, there is a place called new york...and other cities and states and stuffThats all thats my american knowledgeAnd OhioI know that nameprob ore when I read them but states? all 50? no

68. Favorite school subject?...the last one of the day

69. Extrovert or Introvert?Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?Nope,but would like too astho I cant get under water

71. What makes you nervous?everything

72. Are you scared of the dark?Eh, idk, depends?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Sometimes?

74. Are you ticklish?//backs off....no

75. Have you ever started a rumor?Nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?...none I remember

77. Have you ever drank underage?Have been asked to by my mum bc new years and all that but no

78. Have you ever done drugs?Also no

79. Who was your first real crush?I never ever ever had a real crush

80. How many piercings do you have?None

81. Can you roll your Rs?��A bit

82. How fast can you type?HIGHSPEED

83. How fast can you run?snail speed

84. What color is your hair?Brown!

85. What color is your eyes?Brown or green and anything in between

86. What are you allergic to?Nothing except stupid people and school

87. Do you keep a journal?A dream one

88. What do your parents do?Fuck me up?My legal guardian mum is cleaning buildings and whateverMy biological mum is driving around to assist the elderly in their homesAnd idk about my dad

89. Do you like your age?Ya

90. What makes you angry?AllBeing ignore,d not taken serious, not understood, being made fun off, my friends being made fun off, having my words twisted around, illogial thinking stupid assholes that deserve to burn in hell being around me and trying to talk to me...My favourite character being treated like shit writing wiseAnimal crueltyPeople cruelty altho I am so done w/ people most of the time that I am just like "Oh again?" which is kinda sad but its still fucked up

91. Do you like your own name?I LOVE IT!

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?NOPEBtw i read some nice names on toilet doors in school...."Why did you give me that name?""It was written on my old schools toilet door...the second one""...wtf is wrong w/ you"would be the convo then tho

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?I want a dog

94. What are you strengths?DETERMINATION

95. What are your weaknesses?LIVING!

96. How did you get your name?IDK!

97. Were your ancestors royalty?....i doubt it

98. Color of your room?White and gray and also red also some blacks there

99. Color of your bedspread?....it...changes? Bed itself is white and black but...the rest changes?

100. Make up your own questionkaro you have failed me y u do dis, y