#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

izzy-b-hands · 2 days ago

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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs

(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)

That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)

#text post #not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning #suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl #even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is #if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly #then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now #it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit #and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election #otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it #I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked #my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet #and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff #so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep #which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life #i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice #even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely #im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it #and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet #i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep #but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart #and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it #im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes #...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this #(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)

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