#but seriously I'd drop to my knees to any of them in a heartbeat

[dreaming-about-the-dead]

I'm losing my absolute shit over this THEY ALL LOOK SO GORGEOUS MY GOD

I'm such a simp for this group, good lord they're so attractive

Some peeks at the photoshoot for the upcoming WWDITS cover of Emmy Magazine! [source]

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 10 (Bucky Barnes au)

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed,

You put me on  and said I was your favourite”

Word count : 1712

Going back to everyone wasn't even as awkward as you'd predicted ; what had just happened with Bucky was pretty obvious. Yet, all the guests decided to cheer you up and spend their night telling you jokes or just talking to you about random memories. When you went back to your  room for good, you made sure Bucky walked you there : you were silently thanking Steve for giving you a room this far away from the others, since it gave you the opportunity to speak freely.

"So, about earlier,"  you started, "I think..."

"Hum,  yeah. I get it must be complicated for you." He scratched the back of his head as you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

"It's not, actually." You looked him in the eyes. "I know exactly what I want."

Something gleamed in his eyes – a hint of hope, maybe.

"You do?" he asked. "I don't want you to be in this situation, so..."

"I swear," — you gently grabbed the front of his shirt  – "I promise I know you're who I want." You lowered your gaze. "I'd be a fool to pretend otherwise."

Bucky tilted his head down to see you better, breathing on the tip of your nose. "This makes me...really happy." He kissed your nose, making you feel an instant warmth in your chest. "Now go get some rest. You've had an eventful night."

"You're right." You let go of him to grab the doorknob and turned around. "Wait, before I go..." You span and placed your hands on his shoulders to help you reach his height and planted a kiss on his lips again. "I really wanted to do this again."

You chuckled and left him at the door, quickly closing it behind you so that he wouldn't see you smiling like a teenager. Changing into your pyjamas, you were still unable to think about anything else than the  first kiss you'd shared and the emotion it'd gifted you with. You chose not to go to sleep right away : you knew a knock on your door would come. Around twenty minutes afterwards, you were ready to open the door to your sister right after hearing her.

"So, that happened," she said when she sat on your bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Don't you already know that?" you teased. "I thought you were supposed to be a mind-reading enchantress or something. Your skills are getting rusty, sis."

Wanda couldn't help but laugh before asking her question  again. "Seriously, I want to hear it from you, not  from your thought process. It's too much of a mess anyway."

You rolled your eyes at the skies  before sitting next to her. "It was... I don't know how to describe it." You shrugged. "It felt right."

"And what are you going to do about Darren? I heard you saying you were over, but are you actually doing it?"

You stopped to think for a moment. What would divorcing Darren concretely mean? You'd have to go through a divorce procedure, and you didn't know how those were  supposed to go. Maybe you could  ask Tony if he knew any good lawyers who might you out. But there was another thing you'd need to do.

"I'll  go get my stuff tomorrow. I'm thinking  of asking Tony if I can stay here...permanently."

You wrapped your hands around your legs and rested your chin on your knees.

"I'll go with you. I don't trust him."

"Thanks, Wanda."

Your sister hugged you tight before lying down next to you.

"I'm here for you. We're family," she noted. "Now get some sleep ; you need it."

You lay next to her and as it turned out, you fell asleep pretty fast. Maybe soulmates had that effect on people.

---

"He's not even here," you remarked. "Even after our fight last night, he doesn't bother showing up at his own apartment."

Darren's behaviour was already heating up your anger, and you were once  again patting yourself on the shoulder for refusing both Steve and  Sam's help that day. They would not have handled this by calming you down. Maybe Steve would've tried, but well, even he had his limits. Messing with his family was one of them.

Your sister followed you to your bedroom, where you dragged a suitcase from under your bed. When you opened it, Wanda's eyes lingered for a second : it wasn't empty.

"Were you packing for a trip?" she asked.

You looked away and shrugged. "I don't know if I was planning for a honeymoon or a bad fight," you admitted. "Turns out it's the latter." You kept running around the place, packing everything from your most random flannel shirt to your favourite coffee mug.

"I think I'm ready to go," you ended up saying as you closed your suitcase. "I'm- wait. Did you hear the door too?"

"Y/n?"

"Fuck." You looked at Wanda, who'd recognised Darren's voice as well. You walked out of the bedroom, your suitcase rolling behind you. Your husband's eyes fell on your luggage before going back to you. You tried searching for any trace of sadness on his face ; all you found was anger and disappointment.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "And what is she doing here?"

"Wanda's here because she wanted to help me get as far away from you as possible," you replied. "My whereabouts are none of your business anymore."

"You can't just leave like that. You're still my wife, as far as I know."

"Not for long."

Darren's face got bright red as he went in the kitchen. You knew he was about to start yelling, so you went for the door. His arm stopped you ; you hadn't seen him turn around. He grabbed your wrist, causing you to let out a faint scream. Wanda didn't need any more excuses to use her abilities.  She pinned him against the wall with a slight gesture of her hand.

"Don't you touch her again," she breathed. "You don't want me to use my full strength."

You could see Darren's nostrils flaring with anger and his fist clenching. You hated seeing him like this : some part of you still remembered the guy you'd fallen for several years earlier and you wished you could've made him stay like that.

"Don't blame  yourself for his behaviour, y/n," Wanda told you, not looking away from Darren. "Trust me, this man can't be changed. He'll always be a douchebag."

Your sister let go of him and opened the apartment's door for you. You were finally stepping out of that place, walking away from Darren.

"So what?" you heard him yell. "You're just gonna go back to that weird staring guy?"

You turned around and stared at him. You were done looking down and letting him hurt you. "Stop."

"What is it, huh?" – He walked closer to you and you gestured towards Wanda to let her know you were okay. "Is he better in better in bed than I am? Because I highly doubt that any man could make a good one out of you."

"Wow, you got to this level of insults. I shouldn't be surprised, coming from you." You paused, unsure of what his reaction would be to your next words. "I'll have divorce papers sent to you."

His jaw dropped, your words leaving him speechless. HIs insults still left a bitter taste in your mouth as you did your best to hide your pain. You didn't think such a long relationship could end like this, in a heartbeat, in the drop of a coffee cup.

Going back to the compound seemed to take less time than it took going to Darren's place. You were looking out of the window in silence, even though you knew your sister was holding back her remarks about Darren : you didn't need mind-reading powers to know that.

"Go ahead. Tell me I should've seen it coming."

"I'm not going to tell you that. Believe it or not, I wish I'd been wrong about him."

You gave Wanda a side glance : her grip on the stirring wheel was stern but her eyes were filled with sympathy.

"But I should've seen it coming. Damn, I despised his friends the moment I met them and he's just like them."

Wanda chuckled, which seemed inappropriate at first. "You didn't see that coming."

These words forced a smile out of you. "He would kick his ass, wouldn't he?"

"Absolutely. And he wouldn't be gentle about it."

You fiddled with your fingers. "Moments like these... I miss him the most."

"I know." Your sister's hand grabbed yours for a second before going back to the wheel. Her voice had gotten a little shaky from the emotion. "I also know he would've liked Bucky for you."

"Maybe. I shouldn't rush into this, though."

"Wait, what?" Wanda was confused, it seemed. How could she not be?

"Wanda, I just got out of a long relationship. I'm not even divorced yet. Bucky deserves better than this mess of a situation."

"Oh c'mon, he won't care about that. Have you seen how the man looks at you?"

A grin made its way to your lips as you remembered the numerous occasions Bucky  had laid his blue eyes on you, and yesterday, on your lips.

"I feel like I can't do this to him, you know? There are so many things I like about him, from the way he bothers pronouncing my name correctly, not the bland American way, to the habit he has of scratching his neck... You  know, dumb stuff. But what do I have to offer him? I'm not..."

"Stop. That's Darren speaking, not you," your sister softly reprimanded you. "You're worth so much more than you think you are. I also know that the guy who's going to rush to you to make sure you're okay is falling in love with you, if he hasn't already. His mind is almost as big a mess as yours."

"Wow, that's a first," you joked, the mention of love making you anxious. "The mess thing, I mean."

"Yeah, sure," — she snickered – "the mess thing."

--- They're getting serious, guys! I hope this part was good and that you liked it. Part 11 will come soon. :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3

[desiringparadise]

Hi, I know this gonna sound weird but I'm here thanks to A03, I read "It's A Terrible Love And I'm Walking With Spiders" again (idk why), Let me tell you something: It's fantastic. But I realized that you haven't update for four or five years, well I'm not gonna ask you to do it, that's in you, but I'd like to ask something, could you tell me what was the plan with tha fic, and how will it end, just a summary because I'm dying in my curiosity, well only few words left, so thanks and be careful

Omgggg thank you!!! It isn’t weird at all, I sometimes re-read old unfinished fics too because they stuck with me for some odd reason. I was at a bad mental space when I wrote this story and I feel like my issues manifested in the atmosphere of the story. Maybe readers can relate to some of it?

As to how the story was supposed to end. I didn’t remember and I actually had to look through my old notebook lol. I actually found the unfinished fifth chapter in my folders, so I’ll post it here.

Keep in mind that I wrote this in November 2016 and I never finished editing it. I didn’t post it because I was unsatisfied with the result. I’d rate it T/M.

Chapter 5

Miserable, Stiles focused on the silhouette of naked feet, his eyes never straying any higher. Luckily, the shower glass was milky, so even if he couldn’t have resisted satisfying his own curiosity, he wouldn’t actually have seen much.

After the Sheriff had left, Theo had asked to take a shower. Stiles had let him under the condition that the door would remain open and Theo under Stiles’ scrutiny. Under no circumstances would he have let the other boy roam around in his house without checking what he was up to. There were meds in the cupboard, something he wouldn’t risk leaving him alone with.

Unsurprisingly, Theo hadn’t objected. “Be my guest,” he’d said instead, an extra smarmy grin on his face.

That’s why Stiles was sitting against the wall, knees drawn to his chest while trying not to fall asleep. The sound of water spraying had become lulling white noise, making it hard to keep his eyes open. Maybe he should take some Adderall to shake off the drowsiness. It wasn’t like he would get any sleep tonight anyway. Not while knowing that Theo Raeken was under the same roof as him.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the spray of water stopped, the shower door opened, and Theo stepped out without an ounce of hesitation. You’d think he’d at least pretend to be a little embarrassed about showing his naked body.

Not that Theo should be ashamed, Stiles realized. He had known before that the other boy was built, but the naked view of him - well, he couldn’t lie, it was a sight to behold. Perfect, unreal. The shoulders, the arms, the chest – everything about him was broad without being too bulky. His flawless skin only added to the look of a retouched Men’s Health cover shoot. Stiles felt entranced to follow his abs, down to the wonderfully defined V of his hips, before stopping himself. Yeah, he had just seen Theo’s dick, it had been kinda inevitable, but there was no reason to scrutinize it any further. None.

Quickly, he moved his gaze up to look at Theo’s face instead, the usual smirk somehow looking even more smarmy than usual.

“Like what you see?”

The question was so cliché, just like this whole goddamn scenario, that Stiles felt the desperate need to break the spell.

“I prefer chest hair.”

For the first time since Theo had arrived in Beacon Hills, he was dumbfounded. It left Stiles feeling satisfied, before his face froze, his heartbeat quickening. Did he just seriously tell Theo that he was interested in men? He resisted the urge to smack his palm against his face.

Theo did the unexpected and actually came up with an answer.

“I could let it grow, if you wanted me to.”

Stiles squinted. “What the hell would you do that for?”

Theo shrugged his broad shoulder, still unperturbed by his own nudity. “Just trying to win you over, that’s all.”

Stiles rolled his eyes, finally rising up and to look at Theo’s face and ignore everything that was going on below. “Well, your lack of chest hair wasn’t the deciding factor that kept me on the other side. Why don’t you put on a towel?”

“Don’t have one,” Theo answered with an innocent smile.

Stiles sighed and motioned for the other boy to follow as he walked to his room. When he opened the door, he felt uncomfortable letting a naked Theo into his personal space. Hurriedly, he drew the curtains and searched for a large towel in the cupboard. When he found one, he threw it over to Theo without sparing him another look.

“Can you borrow me some clothes?”

Stiles was inclined to say no, let Theo sleep in his uncomfortable jeans instead. There was something strange about giving Theo his clothes to wear. But he wasn’t sure when his father would return from the station. When the man arrived, he would go through the living room and see Theo who’d be sleeping on the coach.

He sighed and searched his closet for something that’d fit. Theo wasn’t taller, but much broader than him. (Un)fortunately, Stiles usually wore clothes that were a few sizes too big anyway. He found some sweats. He was painfully reminded that Theo wouldn’t be wearing underwear underneath. No way he’d be wearing those pants before washing them at least five times.

“Long or short sleeves?”

“Don’t need a shirt.”

Stiles frowned, pulling his too long sleeves even further down. “It’s freezing.”

Theo grinned. “I’m running hot. Want to see it for yourself?”

Stiles rolled his eyes and walked past him. “Whatever, I’ll be fixing you the coach.”

Theo followed him in an easy stride. He didn’t even seem a little uncomfortable to casually stroll through a stranger’s home without a shirt on. Completely relaxed, he sunk into the coach and watched Stiles as he spread clean sheets over the sofa.

“Do your parents know you’re staying over?” Stiles couldn’t even remember the Raekens’ faces anymore.

“Sent them a text.”

Stiles nodded, too tired to investigate any further.

.

Except he was unable to fall asleep. For about roughly an hour he had been tossing and turning, his anxiety back at it again although he had forewent his Adderall. Then, for a couple of minutes, he stayed still, not moving a muscle while waiting to hear any sounds come from downstairs.

But there was only silence.

About half an hour ago, his eyes started tearing up from exhaustion. It was annoying. He wasn’t really crying, but the stream of tears didn’t stop. Now his eyes were swollen and aching.

He was unable to come to rest. He took a deep breath. Maybe if he’d open the door and take a proper listen, he’d finally relax. Feeling ridiculous, left the warmth of his bed and softly padded towards his door. But he was only met with frustratingly familiar silence.

He sighed and returned to bed when- Wait, was that a sound? He froze and listened, eyes wide open as if waiting for an assault. Looking down, he noticed that he had stepped on a creaking floor board. The noise could have come from him. But what if it hadn’t?

He shook his head. He was being paranoid, utterly ridiculous… Yet, what if there had been something? He took a deep breath and held it, wanting his heart beat to slow. Okay, he’d go outside again, just this once, and take a look around house, and most importantly, check whether Theo was doing something sketchy.

He left his room, slowly descending the stairs. From here, Theo’s form was still, he seemed to be sleeping. Just to be sure, he told himself as he gradually closed the distance between them. He stopped just before the sofa and leaned down to inspect his face. His eyes were closed and his breathing was calm. Everything about him indicated to be asleep.

But the ugly voice of his paranoia ordered him to look more closely, check whether Theo wasn’t faking it.

Suddenly Theo’s eyes were wide open, an unnatural light shining in them. Stiles startled. He stumbled backwards, his feet hit agianst the coffee table, and he fell on his ass.

“Stiles?” Theo blinked, the strange light in his eyes gone. Had he imagined it? He must have, there was no other explanation for it. He was going crazy. “Why are you up? Did something happen?” His voice was groggy from asleep, but otherwise he seemed alert.

Stiles felt ridiculous. His thought process hadn’t made any sense to begin with, spoken out loud, they’d sound like he’d lost his mind. This paranoia, it wasn’t normal. He liked to tell himself that it was the Adderall, the ADHD, but when he was honest with himself, he knew it was him. He was fucking crazy. No wonder he didn’t have any friends, no wonder Erica had ditched him the first chance she got. He wouldn’t be his own friend either. There was nothing to gain from this cynical, insecure, anxious mess that he was.

His uneven breath catch in his throat, the last drop for his straying nerves. His mind collapsed in itself and he pathetically started to cry.

If Theo hadn’t been awake then, he probably was now. He stumbled out of the sheets and approached Stiles, putting both hands on his shoulders. His eyes were wide with concern. “Hey- hey, Stiles, come on. What happened? Did you hurt yourself?”

Stiles shook his head, his chest heaving with sobs. He was such a goddamn mess. The more he wanted to force himself to calm down, the more he worked himself up. The rational part of his mind told him that this wouldn’t pass until he calmed down. But he was too upset and Theo’s presence made everything worse. He wanted to crawl into a hole and wait till the panic was over.

But he knew that wasn’t possible. “I can’t sleep,” he managed to ground out between the ugly sniffing and sobbing.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

Stiles snorted, as if Theo’s suggestion had been completely ridiculous. Actually, it wasn’t that far off the truth though. He had nightmares, more often so recently. To some of them he woke up silently, heavily breathing, the panic constrained in his chest, but without a sound. Sometimes he screamed. But only his father knew that.

“No. I just – I can’t sleep with you here, not knowing what you’re doing.”

He expected Theo to be confused, demand an explanation, maybe even laugh. Instead he said, “I could go.”

“What?” He shook his head. “No.” How would he explain that to his father? He wouldn’t be able to stand another discussion with him about seeing a professional about his problems. Yes, he had problems, he knew that – but none some shrink could help him with. The only thing he had going for him was that he wasn’t labeled crazy by the public yet. “You’re staying,” he said with finality.

For a while, there was silence. Theo must be put off by Stiles acting like a freaking lunatic. Any normal person would’ve left by now. Hell, he would’ve ran out the house if the roles were reversed. Instead Theo asked, “Do you have any handcuffs?”

For a few seconds, Stiles didn’t say a word. But when he had finally gathered himself- “What the fuck?”

“Real ones,” the other boy recuperated nonchalantly.

“Why in the hell would you-“

“Because, obviously, I’m kinky, if you haven’t guessed it by now,” Theo answered rolling his eyes. Stiles wasn’t sure whether that had been a joke. “”You wanna sleep or what? Go get me some handcuffs.”

Normally, he wouldn’t have obeyed simply on principle, but he was curious where this would go. And as he rummaged through the drawer, where he knew his father kept a spare pair of handcuffs, he realized that the suffocating panic in his chest was gone.

“Now I’ll go outside and you hide the keys somewhere,” Theo ordered. Stiles wanted to question him, but before he could, Theo had already left the house, still shirtless in the cold night. Not knowing what else to do, Stiles went up to his room and hid the little key in his pill bottle.

When he opened the door for Theo to enter, he didn’t seem affected by the freezing weather. There weren’t even any goosebumps on his skin.

“All done?” Theo asked, the blue-green eyes open and honest. Stiles nodded.

Unceremoniously, Theo cuffed his own wrists together.

Stiles stared. “Okay… What is this about?”

The boy shook his wrist, the metal of the cuffs making clinking sounds. “See? I won’t be able to do much without you hearing. No need to worry about what I’m doing. So are we taking the bed or the couch?”

Stiles should be horrified, but frankly, the plan made sense. It could actually work. And really? It was some crazy shit that he would’ve come up with. The sort of solution that people would raise their brows at but that would actually work. “How do I know you won’t do anything to me while I sleep?”

Theo rolled his eyes. “Stiles, no offense, but if I wanted to harm you, I wouldn’t have to wait until you’re asleep. You’re not exactly what I’d call a physical challenge.”

Fair enough...

“There is no way we’d fit on the couch.”

.

Stiles had ordered Theo to lay on the side of the bed that faced the wall so that there would be no chance of leaving the bed without alerting Stiles. Theo was happy to lie on his side and watch the other boy’s peaceful face. For once, his breathing was even, but he was still twitching and moving in his sleep, restless, even in his most relaxed moments.

When they had first lain down, Theo had feigned sleep. He knew that Stiles wouldn’t have been able to calm down if Theo had openly watched him. Now though, he stare at him to his heart’s content. He’d watched Stiles without his knowledge before. There were some perfect angles from the outside from which you could see Stiles rummaging in the kitchen. Sometimes he forgot to draw the curtains and Theo could catch glimpses of his sleeping form.

But in never had been like this. Stiles, only an arm’s length away, the ever-present scent of anxiousness enveloping him.

He mumbled something in his sleep, tossed and turned and eventually scooted closer to Theo. It probably was due to Stiles’ weird sleeping positions and the unconscious urge to scoot towards warmth, but nonetheless, Thep was elated when the boy’s head almost touched his chest. He could feel his breath on his naked skin.

Theo wondered whether he could get away with stroking his hair, just running his fingers through the dark hair for once, but he refrained. He still was desperately trying to get Stiles to trust him.

At first glance, Stiles seemed like easy prey. He was isolated and defenseless. He should’ve soaked up all of Theo’s affections and begged for more. But Theo had underestimated him vastly. Stiles wasn’t playing hard to get, he simply was too smart to fall for something as simple as charm.

It only made Theo want him even more. Stiles would be the perfect person to stand by his side. Clever, loyal, and absolutely ruthless.

But he had to get Stiles to trust him first. The boy couldn’t see it yet, but once all circumstances molded to Theo’s wishes, Stiles would find himself in a much happier place. Theo just had to give him a nudge into the right direction and make him realize how much of a glorious team they could be under Theo’s rule.

His father was the only important person in Stile’s life. Eventually, Theo would insert himself as a part of his life. Stiles was his centre already, now he had to make himself Stiles’ centre.

.

This is were this document ended. I think I planned to end this chapter at this point. I hadn’t planned the future chapters in every detail, but here’s how I planned for the story to roughly go:

Stiles and Theo were supposed to get closer, Theo eventually gaining Stiles’ trust and helping him over his issues with anxiety. They’d slowly become friends, but their relationship would always have a sexual undertone because it’d always been clear that Theo wanted to be more than friends. The sexual tension would escalate and they’d hook up and become an official item.

They would share a toxic dynamic. While Theo is devoted to Stiles, he’s also extremely controlling and possessive. He would watch Stiles, trying to keep constant tabs on what he was doing, going through his phone, getting pissed when Stiles was acting friendly with anyone. They would have big fights over this in which Theo would tell Stiles that he cares too much for him to just let him be.

While Stiles would know that this is an extremely unhealthy relationship that can’t end well, some part of him (the part that had been ignored by the people around him for all his life and was starving for a semblance of affection) loved that he was this important to Theo. And while his relationship was anything but normal, he liked that he got to experience something as normal as having a boyfriend, something he’d never envisioned before.

So they’d have fights, Theo would apologize with some grand gesture, and Stiles wouldn’t be able to stay mad (because some part of him wasn’t actually mad at all). This pattern would repeat itself.

Meanwhile, Scott and his friends would try to make Stiles see reason. By now, they would’ve noticed Theo’s and Stiles’ dynamic because of how explosive Theo can get in public once his jealousy is triggered. Stiles, however, can’t stand Scott and his friends to begin with. He thinks that nobody but his father and Theo, in his own twisted way, cares about him and that they’re only trying to provoke Theo through Stiles.

I don’t think the whole Dread-Doctors thing had been all the way revealed when I was plotting this, so they wouldn’t have been included in this story. But eventually, some danger would befall Beacon Hills again. Amidst everything, everyone’s supernatural identity would be revealed to Stiles. He’d feel vindicated to have his suspicions finally confirmed. He and Theo would work together on overcoming whatever enemy they’d be facing off against. 

At some point during all of this, Theo’s behaviour would escalate and would cause something disastrous to happen. Someone would be killed. Stiles can finally no longer ignore Theo’s issues as he fights his desire to stay with Theo against his morals. He’d tell Theo that they needed a break.

Theo would beg him not to break it off, promise to change, and confess his love. Though Stiles would know that Theo wouldn’t really change because of the numerous times he’s promised before, he’d be too moved by Theo’s confession to resist. Eventually, he’d decide be selfish and put his own wants before the needs of others. He’d decide that he’d rather have his toxic, obsessive, passionate relationship with Theo, than to return to the bleak void that he was in before Theo entered his life.

Eventually, they’d graduate and move away to live in some big city like L.A. or NYC. 

The End.