#but saying sexist stuff about ur ex isn't what being an incel is

[problemswithbooks]

Okay, so maybe I'm just a stickler for terms, but it annoys me when people call Criston Cole an incel. He's just not.

Incel was coined by men who were 'involuntarily celibate" aka they couldn't get laid even though they wanted to. They hated women because they wouldn't fuck them and hated men who could get sexual and romantic partners. Not all misogynists are incels.

Criston doesn't hate Rhaenyra because she wouldn't have sex with him, at least in the show (and in the book it's unclear what happened either way). Criston came to hate Rhaenyra because she slept with him, something he was breaking his vowels as a Kingsguard to do, and it turned out it didn't actually mean all that much to her. She still wanted to have sex with him, but wasn't willing to give up her place as heir to run away and be in in a full relationship with him (which is why communication before sex is important).

Does he say misogynist things about her later and act bitter--yes. But it's not because Rhaenyra didn't want to have sex with him, or because no women in general want to have sex with him. He took the Kingsgurd oath of celibacy willingly and given that he didn't immediately jump at Rhaenyra's offer to have sex it doesn't seem like he's bitter about it (again if he just wanted to have sex Rhaenyra was fine fooling around on the down low).

Again he's uses sexist language when he talks about her afterwards and that's not good, but in the GoT's universe you can't throw a stone without hitting someone who has done or said something sexist. Viserys has sexist double standards, Daemon calls his first wife the 'bronze bitch', Otto sees Alicent more like a chess piece than a person. Criston's not uniquely sexist, and his sexism isn't him being an incel. If that was the case any guy who disliked their ex-girlfriend would be an incel and that's just not true. Heck, Daemon's attitude toward his first wife would be considered incel behavior under that criteria.

So, like idk, maybe just say he's being a sexist jerk, instead of an incel.