#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

guinevereslancelot · 6 months ago

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how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)

#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day #unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized #she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself #i counted them five times today tho #and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh #infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me #even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol #she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol #also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor #anyway #my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa #way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately #also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here #she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude #i need to calm down fr #she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao #bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing #but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out #that's life in child care #but ughhhh #i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick #but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it #anyway.#normal adult experience #doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back

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