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#but one day he received a picture of himself in his house resting without the mask and his scars visible
your-zipper-is-down · 10 months
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BILLYTELLA IDOL AU
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Commission by my bestie @lovethedanielhd
Idol Tella and bodyguard Billy. I have. SO MANY IDEAS, let's see if I can write them down into a proper plot lmao
In my head, he is singing Shitsurakuen by Queen Bee, because I'm a Queen Bee fan first and an Undead Unluck fan second
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belovedcloud · 5 months
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A Kiss Goodnight | Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader
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Fluff for Leon since he's a cutie. I picture RE2 (after Raccoon City) or RE4 Leon in this but you can choose which ever one you like more.
WC: 1.1K
CW: Leon being a sweetheart? Pet names, kisses (duh), angst/fluff. Mentions of Leon's struggles after RC.
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Working for the government was hard, especially after just getting dragged into it without a choice. Life was hard for Leon ever since that fateful night where he believed he shouldn't have lived. Luck was too kind to him, but the consequences of luck is always regret. Mission after mission, bioweapon after bioweapon Leon was tired. All he could think about was getting back to you. You were his saving grace, his only way to escape the pain. Even if it was only for a second, a minute, a hour, a day. You helped in a way where he was indebted to you for the rest of his life. Driving home, all he could think about was you. How you warmed him up after a hard time shooting and murdering anything that was diseased. He was yours, and you were his.
Leon shortly arrived home, sluggish in his movements as he took off his work boots and coat. His bag thrown into the corner of the doorway as he sighed heavily. Finally, his body could relax. Tense movements slowly turned into tired movements as he brought himself to the bathroom. Seeing a new cut on his face and blood and mud splatted on him. It never really was a nice sight. The house was silent, you were asleep. Something that wasn't unusual as the clock ticked to 3 AM. You never really knew if Leon would come back from his mission, that sense of worry hung low over you. Causing distress as every call you received could be Hunnigan's voice. Informing you of Leon's death, but you were lucky enough to not have that, not yet at least. As you slept peacefully, Leon showered and cleansed himself from his own sin. His murderous intent and sorrow washing down along with the dirt covering his body. The towel gently wrapping around his waist, he walked into your shared bedroom. Where you laid asleep, seeming to be cuddling a pillow in hopes of getting the same satisfaction of Leon having you in his arms.
Leon couldn't help but smile looking at you as he walked past the bed to his dresser, getting a pair of boxers and sweatpants. Quickly changing to soon sink himself to his side of the bed. Soft. Everything was soft around him. The pillow his head laid on, the new sheets and most importantly you. Getting under the covers he felt your bare skin touch his. Your shorts and t-shirt hugging you in a cozy way. Without thought, he wrapped his arms around your body. Nuzzling his face into your neck, there was no intention of waking you up... But it was bound to happen as he gripped you tightly. Giving you no chance to escape you whined as you woke up.
"Sorry baby... You just looked so warm." He mumbled into your neck as he gave a sweet kiss on your skin. Wriggling yourself to at least turn around to face him, you notice the fresh cut on his face. "What happened?" You whispered, still in a half sleepy state. It always worried you seeing him hurt, but Leon always reassured you he was okay. "Just a cut from the mission, nothing to worry about." He softly smiled, you couldn't help but replicate the smile. A gentle kiss on the nose is what Leon felt from your smooth lips. "You okay?" You asked as your hands wandered down his chest, carefully wrapping your arms around him. Ensuring you weren't going to hurt him in the process. "Everything is okay when I'm with you..." He murmured, slowly enveloping you in a sweet kiss. "God.. I missed you so much, you smell so good" He whispered to you in a gentle tone. Much different to the aggression towards the bioweapons he previously fought only hours before.
"I missed you too.. so much." You whispered back, a giggle following short afterwards as you felt him playing with your hair. "I love you." Was all Leon could say as he admired you in his arms, admiring his lover was his favourite thing to do in this situation. "I love you more." You poked at his cheek as you kissed him again. Soft kisses with him were heavenly, otherworldly. The clock ticked 3:30 AM, it really was time to sleep. Mellowed breathing was soon shared between you two as you held each other. Enjoying the comfort of one another as you were glad he returned home. He was glad for everything. Glad to live in a lifetime with you in it - he would protect you no matter the cost.
"Can't sleep?" You slowly opened your eyes, still feeling him stare at you. "No, kinda hard to." He muttered, relapsing the past mission in his mind. "Wanna talk about it?" Rubbing his arm always calmed him down, made him feel safe for once. Safe from the horrors of this world that he swore in his heart nobody else should face or see. That he would be the one to protect people, to save people. Even if that meant him deteriorating his own mental stability. At least others would be saved. But he didn't need to be the hero with you. He could just be Leon. A man who was lost in his own train of thought, still a young boy in his heart yearning for answers to why he was chosen to face dread at every moment of his life. Sadly, beggars can't be choosers. Although he had one choice in his life, and that was you. He would always choose you. Always. "Not right now.. Just wanna have you in my arms." You felt a peck on your forehead, a grin spreading across your face. "Okay. Well I'm always here for you Leon." Reassurance was vital for you and Leon. The slightest amount of praise to Leon was all he needed to crumble into your arms. He could be himself with you. "Thank you Y/N, I really appreciate you. So much." His voice cracked, tears slowly gathering in his eyes. What did he do in his last life to deserve you? Gentle hands caressed his face as he wept, your kisses taking away the pain.
Minutes passed, Leon's cries slowly disappeared as he cuddled you. Staring into each others eyes, you felt yourself slowly slip into a sleepy state. Same with Leon, he couldn't hold his eyes open much longer. Not when you gave him a warm feeling like no-one else did. "I have one request." He hushed out as he rubbed your back with his calloused hands. "Mm?" You murmured out, melting into his touch.
"One more kiss goodnight?"
likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! thank u for reading :)
-> masterlist
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Someone tell this man everything is gonna be okay.
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chilling-seavey · 3 months
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Dreamland (ln4) - Part Three
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↳ A/N Idk where my mind went when I wrote this but I'm almost embarrassed to post it because it's so filthy- Please comment something nice so I don't regret everything and delete these 7.7k words of pure sin LOL
↳ Inspired By: 'Late Night Talking' by Harry Styles
↳ Summary: Ever since your night together in your hotel room, Lando can’t seem to get you off his mind
↳ Pairings: Fanboy Lando Norris x Famous!Author!Fem!Reader (NO use of y/n), University Student Lando x Internet Friend George x Internet Friend Alex
↳ Word Count: 7.7k
↳ Warnings: 18+, NSFW, sexting, dirty talk gets really super nasty, sending nudes, Lando's so incredibly down bad
PART TWO || PART FOUR
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It had been twenty-two days since Lando lost his virginity to you in that Bristol hotel room and ever since, he only thought about you more than he had before. Everything was you as if he couldn’t get enough, having given his trust into the hands of the woman of his dreams, and he was so far past attached that even he himself did not realize the extent of his borderline dependency. He played it cool with you through Instagram dms here and there since your night together and every time he received a notification with your Instagram account handle and a simple little message, he would be grinning ear to ear. 
It had been sixteen days since Lando turned twenty-one. Usually he would message you first since you were still on your book tour and quite busy, but on his birthday you had sent him something early that morning. His only wish was to have more of you…to have all of you, for life. He even made that wish over his birthday cake as he blew out the candles. His sisters took some pictures of him so he could post them for his birthday and you were one of the first people to like them. You made his insides feel so warm and you did so unknowingly. 
It had been three days since Lando moved out of the dorms and back into his parents house. Three days and he was already going crazy. The freedom of the dorms was refreshing but being stuck back at home under his parents’ rules felt suffocating to the now twenty-one year old. Between the curfew, chores, and annoyance from his siblings, Lando was nearly ready to re-pack his suitcase and book a ticket on the next flight out…if only he had more than $14 to his name. His family just didn’t get it. Not like you did. 
“We pay a lot of money for you to go to school and we don’t like seeing you wasting your time and throwing it away.” his mother explained as gently as she could over dinner that evening. 
Lando, elbow on the table and chin in his hand, swatted the last bit of his supper around his plate with his gaze downcast, “I’m not throwing it away.” 
“Well you’re certainly not trying.” his father replied. “Your grades are proof of that.” 
Lando dropped his fork to the plate with a clatter and his three siblings glanced over at him from around the table without a word, listening to him be ridiculed by their parents and waiting for his hostile defences, “It’s not my fault that I’m not as good as the rest of the students! I pull as many late nights as they do but their work is just better.”
“Have you sought out extra help from your professors or the tutoring centre?” his mother offered. 
“God!” Lando tisked in frustration and slouched back in his chair, “I don’t care!” 
“Exactly. You don’t care,” his father agreed seriously, “Your GPA is astronomically low and you’re threatened with academic probation because of it. If you flunk out you will be paying your mother and I back every cent that has gone towards tuition and housing.” 
“This isn’t even what I want to do!” Lando retorted strongly, “I want to, like, go into arts and design…or something.” 
“That’s not a stable career, Lando, come on. We’ve discussed this.”
His mother added, her voice attempting to be gentle, “We went out on a limb with your attempt at the racing and karting stuff and look where that got you? We want to support you, love, but we can’t keep taking financial risks. We still have to get your sisters through university too.”
“What if I had an opportunity to design book covers for a really well known author?”
His family all looked over at him. There was a beat of silence. 
“Do you?” his father inquired, honestly curious. 
Lando dropped his gaze to his plate and crossed his arms over his chest, “Well…not yet.” 
His younger sisters snickered into their forks. 
He glared over at them but recovered quickly at the defence, “But when I met that author that I like at her book signing last month I pitched the offer and she seemed really interested.” 
“Oh my God, here we go.” his youngest sister rolled her eyes. 
“Lando-” his mother started. 
“No, listen-” Lando huffed, “When she gets back to Monaco she’s going to help me get a job…she said so. Something where I can do what I really truly like.”
His parents exchanged flat expressions that had his face falling. 
“She will.” he pressed. 
His father held a hand up to stop him, “You gotta stop living your daydream, son. Come on.” 
“It’s not a daydream!” Lando protested. “Why can’t you guys support me?”
“We don’t want to see you struggling, Lando.” his mother said, “We want you to have a fulfilling life.”
“Yeah, they don’t want you unemployed and living in their basement until you’re middle aged.” his older brother added with a smirk. 
Lando glared over at him, “Says you.” 
Their two sisters “ooo”ed. 
“Regardless of what you think your future is going to look like, you need to better yourself in the present.” his mother continued. 
“Which means focusing more on your degree when the next term comes around…and getting a full time job in the meantime.” his father finished. 
“I don’t want to go back to school.” Lando grumbled. 
“Oh really? What’s your alternative plan?” 
“She’s gonna get me a job-”
“Oh my God.” his middle sister laughed, “You’re dropping her name like you’re besties.” 
Lando clenched his jaw, biting his tongue to smother the dirty truth to answer with the more innocent response, “We talk every day.” 
“She’s being nice.” his mother said gently, “She’s being nice to one of her fans.” 
Lando knew his family didn’t understand but the simple words from his mother sent his heart aching. In all honesty, it had been a few days since you had conversed and Lando had been starting to overthink every reason as to why you had left him on ‘seen’. He could have bet money on the fact that you would never use him and drop him…that your night together was more than just a one night stand…but maybe he was getting too ahead of himself. 
His father only dug the blade farther into his chest, “She is a stranger whom you think you know. She doesn’t owe you anything. She is not going to be your free pass into having a life you don’t need to work for and she is not going to come sweep you off your feet to rescue you from your failing grades. You are twenty-one years old now, Lando, and it’s about time you start acting like a grown man and get your shit together before life runs you over.” 
Lando threw his napkin onto the table and stood up so quickly from his chair that the cutlery rattled on the table when he bumped against it, his throat burning from how he tried to swallow back his anger, muttering under his breath before he stormed off, “I can’t wait to get out of this fucking house.” 
His mother called after him warningly, “Don’t think that just because you’re twenty-one now doesn’t mean we can’t still ground you!” 
Lando took the stairs two at a time and when he turned the corner at the top of the stairs into his bedroom, he slammed the door behind him and locked it. It was a dangerous balance between anger and heartbreak and Lando paced his room while taking a few deep breaths to try and calm down. 
After the freedom that living in the dorms provided, it was hard to return to his house where his parents still ruled. Once he had that taste of independence - a taste of life with you - it was horribly difficult to fit himself back into the little bedroom in which he grew up and grew out of his small suburban town. He didn’t have a bad relationship with his family at all but the reintegration of him back into their house made tensions feel insufferable sometimes. His parents were always on him and he already wanted to escape.
Sitting down on the side of his double bed, Lando pulled out his phone and opened Instagram to send his frustrations to his group chat with his two closest friends. 
landonorris: I need to get the fuck out of this stupid house and get to Monaco like NOW landonorris: I’m gonna lose my fucking mind alex_albon: Oh no what happened  landonorris: My parents are on my arse about school and work and they don’t get it georgerussell63: Don’t get what? landonorris: That I already am on track to get the one thing I want and it’s not being a stupid accountant georgerussell63: You have us for that alex_albon: Yeah we’re always going to support your dreams mate landonorris: I just want HER landonorris: That’s all landonorris: And she promised me a job designing for her books landonorris: It’s going to be real landonorris: It has to be alex_albon: It will be alex_albon: It won’t happen overnight but it will be landonorris: I just want to get out of this house landonorris: It’s so fucking embarrassing living with my parents georgerussell63: Hey we all live with our parents georgerussell63: Are you saying Alex and I aren’t cool georgerussell63: Rude alex_albon: Yeah what the hell mate alex_albon: 🤨 landonorris: Noo it’s different landonorris: You guys aren’t trying to get a self-sufficient borderline famous Monaco woman landonorris: No one like her is going to want some muppet like me who lives at home with his parents  georgerussell63: She clearly does alex_albon: Besides, this is just a temporary stop until you find your own place alex_albon: You’re being resourceful…saving your money georgerussell63: Has she said anything recently? You haven’t told us much these last few days alex_albon: Do we even want to know what she’s been saying? 👀 landonorris: Nothing landonorris: That’s it landonorris: Nothing georgerussell63: Wdym?? landonorris: I messaged her the day I moved back home just to make casual conversation that I moved out of the dorms and she said something like ‘that's nice’ and then when I replied again she just left me on seen alex_albon: Oh georgerussell63: Why?? landonorris: Idfk but I’m stressing so bad over it landonorris: Like what if my parents are right and she just sees me as a fan and nothing more georgerussell63: She took your virginity mate I don’t think she’d be the kind of person to just drop you after that alex_albon: Maybe she’s busy with work. Isn’t she still on tour? landonorris: Her book tour ended yesterday. She should be home now alex_albon: So maybe give her a day or two? Maybe she needs some time to relax after traveling the entire continent of Europe landonorris: Idk landonorris: I miss her georgerussell63: Message her again landonorris: Idk I don’t want to be annoying  alex_albon: Ask for your virginity back landonorris: OMFG georgerussell63: Excuse me mommy can I have my virginity back 🥺🥺🥺🤲🏼🤲🏼🤲🏼 alex_albon: EW GEORGE landonorris: GOEREG STOP georgerussell63: HAHJJKKPFJFJG  georgerussell63: That’s one way to get her to answer you  alex_albon: No that’s how you get blocked landonorris: Lol funny you think I’m the sub tho landonorris: Anyways alex_albon: Pff georgerussell63: Oh yeah with all that experience you have alex_albon: OOF ROASTED landonorris: WOW landonorris: That one night was ENOUGH tbh landonorris: Jeeeezus georgerussell63: Ya those marks you had were fuckin brutal mate alex_albon: In the best way ofc landonorris: YEAH landonorris: I KNOW
Lando flopped backwards on his bed with a smile he struggled to bite back, his worries distracted by his internet friends and the mere memory that was your night together so many days before. 
landonorris: God I miss her so fucking much landonorris: How has it almost been a month georgerussell63: Back to celibacy for you georgerussell63: Rip landonorris: I actually hate it here alex_albon: Just message her  alex_albon: Just a ‘hey’ or something landonorris: Ew that’s cringe alex_albon: ??? How landonorris: Idk georgerussell63: Be like ‘hey how was the rest of your tour’ landonorris: Make me sound any more like a grandma 🙄 alex_albon: Mate georgerussell63: Or tell her you miss her georgerussell63: Girls like that kinda thing alex_albon: Like you would know what girls like 🤨 georgerussell63: 🖕🏼🖕🏼 alex_albon: ‘Hey I’ve been thinking about our night 😏’ landonorris: Brooo landonorris: I wanna sext with her so bad georgerussell63: 😂😂 alex_albon: Oh but just ‘hey’ is cringe okay landonorris: Maybe I’ll send that landonorris: Idk landonorris: Should I? landonorris: Is it too much? landonorris: After being left on seen for two days idk georgerussell63: Go for it georgerussell63: She literally let you come inside her georgerussell63: I think this is nothing compared to that alex_albon: An odd comparison but a valid one there, GR georgerussell63: Hey thanks mate landonorris: Should I?? georgerussell63: Yeah it’s just reminding her that she’s on your mind which is a good thing alex_albon: And it’s not too hot and heavy right off the bat alex_albon: If she responds with something flirty back then who knows landonorris: Or she’ll leave me on seen again and I’ll have to die of embarrassment  georgerussell63: Omg alex_albon: Nah she won’t. Send it georgerussell63: Right now
Lando exhaled deeply and sat up again on the side of his bed as he exited the group chat to find his dm thread with you. It wasn’t too far down on his list since he didn’t talk to many people other than Alex and George and when he opened it up, the little grey ‘seen’ nearly slapped him across the face. He pursed his lips in thought and let his thumbs wave over the keyboard, debating what to say. 
He finally drafted something quickly,
Hey…been thinking about our night recently 
He screenshotted it before he sent it and then shared the image to his group chat. 
landonorris: *sent a screenshot*  landonorris: Is this fine? georgerussell63: Add an emoji alex_albon: Yeah maybe a heart or something
Lando swiped back to his thread with you and added a heart to the end,
Hey…been thinking about our night recently 🧡
He sent that screenshot to the group chat.
landonorris: *sent a screenshot*  landonorris: Maybe? alex_albon: Yes I think that’s good georgerussell63: Yesss now send it landonorris: Ahh idk is that too annoying?  georgerussell63: Blimey mate why are you suddenly all flustered like a teenage girl lol georgerussell63: You’ve literally already slept with her georgerussell63: The hard part is over alex_albon: ^^^ alex_albon: Send it alex_albon: Sendddd it georgerussell63: Send it!!!!
Lando sighed and sat up on his bed again as he exited out of the group chat and opened his thread with you once more. The notifications from his internet friends kept popping up at the top of the screen in silent encouraging cyber chants to get him to send the message. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous exactly. Maybe he had spent too much time dreaming about you that he didn’t want to let one measly message fuck up his one fleeting chance at having you. 
His thumb hesitated over the send button for a moment, debating and overthinking. He got up and paced his room a little, staring at the unsent message and going through every possible situation in his head like it was the last decision he would ever make. With a slightly dramatic huff, he closed his eyes and tapped the send button hurriedly. 
He exited the chat and opened his group chat in a panic.
landonorris: OKAY I SENT IT landonorris: AHHH landonorris: Gonna throw my phone out the window now georgerussell63: GOOD JOB alex_albon: YES georgerussell63: Now we wait 😌 landonorris: For a miracle  georgerussell63: You already had your miracle georgerussell63: That was your night together alex_albon: She’s going to answer Lan dw
Lando didn’t leave his room all night because the concept of facing his family after his slightly immature and dramatic blow up over their inability to see his side of things felt like the worst idea ever. Instead, he dabbled with a few new doodles in his notebook that were infused with thoughts of you and when that got boring, he turned to one of your books for his usual go-to entertainment. His friends were busy with their families and it wouldn’t be until they were ready to sleep that they would reconnect. 
Because of their lack of conversation that evening, Lando was trying to do everything in his power to keep his mind away from his sent message to you. The one that you still hadn’t replied to. The more time that passed the more anxious he got until he had no choice but to dive into your fictional universes as some sort of escape, his phone hiding under his pillow and out of sight. 
His eyes were glued to the page and every carefully printed word as what always happened when he opened one of your novels. The steamy scene in front of him had his hands clutching the hardcover book tightly, spread out comfortably on his bed, and your honest words only brought him back to his own very real recollection of your magical night that you shared almost a month prior. The chapter ended before the scene got too far and Lando huffed and shut the book and tossed it onto his night stand, letting his head rest back against his headboard so he was staring up at the ceiling. 
By that point in the night, it was dark outside and his room was illuminated by only the light of his bedside lamp. He had heard his siblings heading to their own rooms over the prior few hours and eventually heard his parents head to bed too. No one bothered him; probably not wanting to push his buttons with any wrong move. Things would smooth over by morning. 
But Lando didn’t feel at ease at all and it was solely due to the fact that he was scared to death that you were ignoring him. He could only pray that his one message didn’t ruin all that he had dreamt of. 
When the city of Bristol passed into 9pm, Lando checked his phone one last time. Only a few messages from his group chat were waiting for his response. Nothing from you. 
alex_albon: Ok finally done the movie alex_albon: My family wanted to analyze the whole damn thing alex_albon: My sister doesn’t know a thing I stg georgerussell63: Omg we just finished too georgerussell63: I totally demolished my nephew on F1 2021 ngl alex_albon: Ayy the kid didn’t stand a chance alex_albon: Who’d you play as? georgerussell63: Max Verstappen alex_albon: Hell ya les gooo georgerussell63: Did you hear people say he be might be world champion this year?? alex_albon: And beat out Lewis?? Idk… georgerussell63: If my parents had actually let me kart and I made it to F1 I bet I’d be able to beat out Lewis lol imagine alex_albon: Kinky georgerussell63: Ew???? landonorris: George you’d get like 15 points MAXIMUM georgerussell63: That’s so rude alex_albon: Omg Lan hi alex_albon: Did she answer?? landonorris: Nopeee landonorris: I’m gonna kms 😀 georgerussell63: Nooo! georgerussell63: Give her time alex_albon: It’s only been like alex_albon: Three hours… landonorris: Ugh alex_albon: But I gotta sleep  landonorris: Ughhhh georgerussell63: Same georgerussell63: I’m helping my dad run some errands tomorrow so we have to be up early for whatever reason alex_albon: Damn I just have to sleep because I’m tired alex_albon: I’m literally doing nothing tomorrow georgerussell63: Your usual landonorris: Lol alex_albon: Lando you’re so dry its weirding me out landonorris: Sorry landonorris: 🧡 landonorris: Love u mate landonorris: Sleep well alex_albon: Thanks mate alex_albon: Praying that you get a reply by morning georgerussell63: Me too! alex_albon: Love yall georgerussell63: Love u ♥️
Lando locked his phone and tossed it onto his bedsheets, deciding to get himself a snack since he didn’t finish his dinner. It would be at least something to take his mind off his worries. With his family already in their rooms, he could navigate his house without interruption and he tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen silently. 
Glass of water and a handful of chocolate chip cookies in hand, Lando returned to his room and shut the door behind him. One cookie resting between his lips and his hands full with the rest of the stack and his drink, he headed over to his bed once more. His phone screen lit up just as he approached and the notification that was greeting him had the half bitten cookie falling out of his mouth and onto his bedsheets. 
He hurriedly set the glass of water and discarded cookies on his night stand, brushing the crumbs out of his bed as he sat down and re-read the Instagram notification from you. 
-Hey you 💕 I’ve been thinking about it too
Lando unlocked his phone and let his thumbs word a response for him without letting himself overthink it,
landonorris: Was wondering if you forgot about it! Haven’t heard from you in a bit
His message was delivered and opened right away, meaning you were waiting for his response in the chat. That fact had him biting back his bashful smile, but his nervousness still lingered over what your answer was going to be. This could have been the moment you would shut him down for good. 
-Omg never! -Tour ended yesterday and the flight from Miami was crazy…delayed…they lost my luggage…and then after a hefty sleep last night I’ve spent today picking up my retrieved bags and then unpacking and I was just at lunch with my friends
Lando let out an audible sigh in relief,
 landonorris: That’s okay  landonorris: Good to be home? -Very -Tour was fucking incredible but this break is going to be nice  landonorris: Yeah for sure -Did you really think I forgot about you just like that?  landonorris: No I just wanted to make sure you were okay  landonorris: It’s been a few days -You’re a sweetheart -I’m just fine  landonorris: I’m glad 🧡 -But tell me… -What had you wanting to remind me about our night?  landonorris: Nothing in particular  landonorris: Was just missing you a little -A little?  landonorris: …Yes -Mhmm -Well you may keep your pride here all you want but I won’t be afraid to admit that I missed you quite a lot  landonorris: Oh really?  landonorris: You?  landonorris: Miss Monte Carlo? -Oh please -I’m the least Monaco that Monaco can get -And we had something special that night -I don’t throw that around lightly  landonorris: Yeah…  landonorris: Okay…  landonorris: You got me  landonorris: I miss you a lot  -The truth comes out 😌  landonorris: I’ve been re-reading your novels because I miss you :) -Omg really 🥺🥺 -Which?  landonorris: Second novel…chapter eight… -I see 👀 -So that’s what had you thinking about our night 
Lando slouched back against his headboard with a blushing grin that he hid in the material of the collar of his forest green hoodie. He contemplated his response but saw that you were already typing so he waited. 
-Which part were you thinking of most?
His teeth sunk into his bottom lip carefully with what you were smoothly instigating and his mind rushed back to each piece of your night together that had thrived in his memory ever since. He didn’t know how strong to start off so he played it cool,
 landonorris: All of it  landonorris: Kissing in the elevator  landonorris: And in the hotel room -Just kissing?  landonorris: Well you’re an incredible kisser  landonorris: And I fucking loved kissing you -I loved kissing you too -Your lips are so soft  -And your hands on my body felt so good -I miss that a lot -The way you grabbed me  landonorris: I should have done more of that -That’s okay -Next time 🥰
Lando had to toss his phone onto his bed for a second so he could roll over and scream into his pillow out of sheer lustful glee. He was so smitten for you and all his worries were completely erased by the simple reassurance from you that you had been thinking about doing it all again. 
 landonorris: For sure  landonorris: When and where -Sometime this summer maybe -But we can plan later -I want to hear more about what you miss about me first  landonorris: Okay 🧡  landonorris: I miss your body  landonorris: And the way it felt under my hands  landonorris: Your hips…your ass…your tits…  landonorris: So fucking perfect -I swear you’d be so good at body worship  landonorris: Fuck baby I’d gladly worship you anyday -Yeah? 🥰 -How?  landonorris: I want to take your clothes off and kiss over every inch of your body   landonorris: Just breathe you in  landonorris: Trail every curve with my lips or my finger just so every part of you has been touched by me -That sounds so good -And then?  landonorris: You sure you wanna know? -Tell me everything -Don’t hold back  landonorris: I want to spread your legs and taste you -Oh my God  landonorris: Is that okay? -Yeah lol I’m sorry that just made my pussy throb  landonorris: Jesus  landonorris: Did it?? -Yess -I’m an author, words speak wonders to me  landonorris: No pressure lol -Never any pressure with me baby -Tell me more -Just spill your thoughts here  landonorris: I just wanna know what you taste like because I didn’t get to last time  landonorris: You might have to guide me -That’s okay baby -I can lace my fingers in your pretty brown hair and show you where I need you  landonorris: Fuck yes please  -So I can feel your warm tongue all over my pussy -Inside me -On my clit -Feeling you so fucking close  landonorris: I’d kill for your legs over my shoulders right now  landonorris: I really really really want you to show me how to eat you out  landonorris: Making you come on my mouth would be so fucking hot -Yes sir
Lando’s mouth literally fell open in shock, his heart racing in his chest at how quickly this conversation turned exactly to how he had imagined it in his most salacious dreams.
 landonorris: And I fucking loved hearing the way you called me sir  landonorris: That fucking did it for me baby -It was your idea and it was a genius one -It got me off too -Honestly I catch myself moaning out that title when I make myself cum now  landonorris: You think of me? -Yeah I think of you when I touch myself  -Every time  landonorris: Often? -Couple times a week -And right now
Lando blinked at his phone screen in disbelief, trying to picture you in your pricey Monaco apartment and warm in your bed in limited clothing and touching yourself while you spoke with him. His dick twitched in his sweats and he dropped a hand down to palm himself lazily over his growing erection. You sent another message,
-Do you think of me?  landonorris: Always have  landonorris: Only ever you -You’re so fucking cute -God I miss you  landonorris: I’m getting hardddd lol -Good hehe -Are you touching yourself too?  landonorris: Do you want me to? -That’s for you to decide sir -Do you want me to help make you cum?   landonorris: Fuck yes -Okay then strip down and keep talking to me  landonorris: Ok gimme a sec
Lando tossed his phone to the side so he could hurry to push down his pants and boxers in one go, letting them drop to the floor carelessly. His sweater joined the pile, leaving him slouched back against his pillows and the headboard in the warm light of his bedside lamp, his legs spread just slightly. He returned to your conversation, 
 landonorris: Okay  landonorris: What else do you want to know? -Talk to me more about eating me out -Have you thought about it a lot?  landonorris: Yeah baby  landonorris: I dream about it too sometimes  landonorris: I can still hear your gorgeous little whimpers and the way you moan my name and I just want to feel you grinding up against my face and helping me to make you feel so good  landonorris: But I really wanna know how you taste -Want me to describe it?  landonorris: Yes -It’s sweet -But not like candy -It’s more of a warm kind of flavour that tastes salacious -And it drips everywhere and soaks everything -It would get all over your mouth and your chin  landonorris: Fuck  landonorris: I want that  landonorris: And I want to wrap my arms around your thighs so you can’t get away from me and I can feel all of you all over me, just covering me in your wetness  -It’s all for you sir -I’d link my ankles around your shoulders to keep you there too  landonorris: Hands pulling at my hair -Yes please  landonorris: Show me how you want me to touch you  landonorris: Pull me to where you need me -Suck on my clit  landonorris: Whatever you need baby  landonorris: Can I finger you too?  -At the same time pleaseeee  landonorris: I can do that landonorris: My mouth on your clit and two fingers inside you  -Fuck that’d make me moan so loud -Just the idea of your fingers flicking inside me is making my legs shake -I need it  landonorris: How fast? -Slow. I want to make it last  landonorris: Of course  landonorris: And if you’re a good girl for me I’ll let you cum twice -Fuck how can I be your good girl sir  landonorris: Let me have my way with you  landonorris: And show me how good I make you feel with your sweet moans and the way you cry my name  landonorris: You’re so fucking sexy I won’t want to stop -Yes I wanna cum for you -Can I sir  landonorris: I’ll always let you cum baby  landonorris: Just licking and sucking at your pussy with my fingers so fucking deep inside you  landonorris: I bet you taste so fucking good  landonorris: Soaking my face and my hand and the sheets  landonorris: God I’m so fucking hard
Lando glanced down his naked body draped back against his bed to where his dick was resting against his abdomen, already swollen hard and aching for touch. You were taking a bit of time to reply so he reached down to gently rub the tip of his finger up and down along the underside of his cock, watching how his gentle touch made it tense and flinch. He turned back to his phone,
 landonorris: Hello? -Sorry I just had to finish myself off lol  landonorris: Oh-  landonorris: Like right now? -Yeah, you said I could  landonorris: You listened to me? -Yeah?
Lando swelled with pride at that concept,
 landonorris: Good girl  landonorris: Did it feel good? -Would have been better if you were physically here -But yes -It felt really good -Moaned your name when I came too  landonorris: That’s so fucking hot -Now I wanna do more -How do you want to cum?  landonorris: Inside you -Again?  -Dirty boy -I like it -Would you want me to ride you?  landonorris: No I want to fuck you myself  -Go on…  landonorris: Keep you on your back and push your legs open as wide as you can get them and just hold your hips while I push my cock inside your soaking wet pussy -Oh my god I miss that baby -I miss your dick so bad
He was letting lust take over in his messages, typing with one hand as quickly as he could while his other lazily stroked his dick in careful motions. 
 landonorris: Nothing compares to how you feel around me  landonorris: You’re just so fucking warm…so wet -I’m soaked for you -You’d slip in so easy right now  landonorris: Jesus  landonorris: I wish I could see your face when I’m inside you  landonorris: Your pretty eyes just fucking rolling -God you’re so big too what’d you expect  -I’d be fucking drooling for it -I wanna beg for it…have you tease me so fucking slowly until I’m nearly sobbing for you to fuck me harder  landonorris: Will you scratch up my back again for it baby? -I’d do anything you want for your dick
Lando mouthed a swear word to his phone screen, tearing his eyes away for a moment just to look down at his fist wrapped around his cock, the one that you were so persistently fantasizing about in the next state over. His hand was useless compared to how your pussy felt and after he had that glimpse of heaven, it was difficult to go without. Your words certainly helped, even only through messages, and he stroked himself a bit faster.
 landonorris: I’m so hard for you baby  landonorris: I seriously need to fuck you  landonorris: I want to give you all you want and more -Can you take me from the back  landonorris: Yes  landonorris: Whatever you want -What a pleasure dom -You’re such a gentleman  landonorris: Lol just want you to feel good  -I can roll over for you and grind my ass back against your cock until you push it back inside me -You’d get so fucking deep that way -I’m already moaning just dreaming about it  landonorris: Then I can hold onto your hips and fuck you like that -Yes pleaseee  landonorris: Fuck -Can I send a pic?   landonorris: Yes -Ok but no screenshots  landonorris: Promise -*you sent an image*
Lando opened the picture with furrowed brows in intense interest as to what he was about to see. On his screen was the most glorious picture of you he had ever seen, the way you looked on your knees on your bed, fully naked, bent over at the waist so your phone captured your curves in the full-length mirror beside your bed. Lando’s eyes were wide as he soaked you in, licking his lips, and tried to memorize each pixel to keep in his mind forever. He let his lust speak for him in reply,
 landonorris: Fucking hell baby  landonorris: You’re so fucking hot  landonorris: I want to slap that ass so bad  landonorris: Grab those hips  landonorris: Fucking pound you until your gripping the sheets -This pussy is yours sir -My whole body is only yours  landonorris: Do you want a pic of me? -Only if you’re comfortable sending
Lando had never tried before since talking to girls - yet alone engaging in sending nudes - was quite few and far between for him. But he wanted to impress you and the way you tended to gawk over his body made him feel really good and made him hungry for more. He lifted his phone camera up and angled it towards his bare body, staring at himself in the screen as he reached his other hand down to keep a secure hand around his dick, drawing attention right to it. Only slightly self conscious, Lando hesitated for a beat before sending it to you before he could overthink yet another thing. 
He waited while you opened his image and he nibbled at his bottom lip anxiously when you typing bubble popped up in the bottom left of his screen,
-Fuck I think I forgot how big your dick is -You’re stunning -Every inch of you -Holy shit -I want you inside me so fucking bad right now  landonorris: Me too  landonorris: My hand is not the same -I have my vibrator on my clit and my pussy is fucking pulsing for you. It’s just so empty…  landonorris: Jesus fuck  landonorris: I’d fill you up baby -God I know you would -So well too  landonorris: Fuck you until your bed is shaking -Yes sir I want it rough  landonorris: Then you should beg for it -I will -I’ll gladly beg for your cock  -Cry for you to beat this pussy up, spank me, manhandle me -Whatever you want I can take -Fuck me like your own little whore
Lando could hardly formulate a response as the speed at which his hand was pumping his cock had him drawing dangerously close to that sweet pleasurably precipice that anything else seemed like too much of a distraction. He held his phone tightly in his left hand, the messaging thread still open, as his legs laid spread on his bed and his right hand stroked himself off in quick messy motions. 
“Oh my God.” he groaned quietly through his teeth, letting his mind whirl with his memories from your night together and his fantasies of wishing you were with him at that moment. Those thoughts weren’t odd for when he got himself off but this time it was different because even from a timezone away, you were still helping him along. 
-I’m so fucking wet its dripping down my thighs -It’s making the nastiest sounds that would only be so much better if your cock was pounding me from behind
Lando’s hand gripped his phone tighter, eyes focused unwaveringly from your little profile picture and the words you sent just for him to read, a little saucy narrative of your own lust made just for him. He shakily spelt out his encouragement to remind you that he was still there and still so painfully close. 
 landonorris: Keep going -You’re gonna cum aren’t you baby -Thinking about my pussy is gonna make you cum so fucking hard isn’t it? -Letting you fuck me…pound your big dick into me as deep as it can go until I crying for it -Making my fucking legs shake while I scream your name into the bed sheets
Lando read each of your messages so carefully, taking in your every word and transferring it right to the pictures in his mind as a light sweat dusted across his brow. He bit his lip to try and keep himself quiet, smothering his whimpers and groans from his oblivious sleeping family members through the walls. His dick was leaking, trailing precum down the length of it and down to his balls, only slicking up his hand in it to help him pull easier strokes faster and tighter, trying to replicate the feeling of your body the best he was able to. 
-Give it to me sir -Please -I miss you so bad
Lando felt as if he were tingling and he naturally thrusted up into his hand a little, whimpering quietly, dizzy on the fast rising pleasure and the warmth it spread over his body. 
-Send a voice memo of you coming if you’re comfortable baby -Please -I really wanna hear you cum  -I really wanna hear the way you sound when you imagine coming so deep inside me
Lando was already so close that he didn’t even think about it before pressing and holding his thumb down on the audio record button, allowing his phone to capture his every breath and every sound as he finally came for you. He wanted to come inside you so badly that he nearly cried for it, being stuck with only his own touch to work him through his orgasm. His hand stuttered around his dick as the first shot of cum spurted out and fell onto his pelvis, matching the whimpering little gasps that he let out for you in steady waves. 
And he of course moaned your name breathily as he always did, letting his eyes close and his head tilt back to welcome the pleasure that overcame him. He could almost feel you right there and he was desperate to reach out and hold you down on him, aching to give you his everything right then and there. When his thumb lifted from the screen, his recording sent right to you and he watched it immediately turn to “seen” as he kept a tight cum-streaked hand around the base of his throbbing sensitive cock. 
Lando’s chest heaved as he struggled to steady his breathing, his wide blue eyes peering down at the creamy white mess that streaked his hand, his dick, and dotted across his stomach and pelvis. He looked back to your chat as you sent your reply,
-Fuck Lando that was so hot -Oh my God -The way my name sounds when you moan it makes me fucking drip  -You sound so pretty  landonorris: Your words do things to me too  landonorris: Felt so fucking good  landonorris: Wish you were here too though -Me too  landonorris: Did you come again yet? -Yeah lol I got myself off to your audio -It was hard not to  landonorris: And you didn’t record it for me in return?? -Next time 😉  landonorris: Next time you better be with me for real  landonorris: None of this texting shit -Yes sir -I agree -Really miss the feeling of you coming inside me  landonorris: Fuck, me too  landonorris: You’ll have to take plan b again  landonorris: Right? -Of course -But that’s worth it  landonorris: You’re incredible and I honestly can’t believe my luck that I can talk to you like this…have you like this -You’re a sweetheart -I feel the exact same way 💕  landonorris: Wish I could cuddle you right now -Me too 🥺 -And kiss you
Lando reached over to his bedside table and grabbed a tissue to clean himself up, giving him a second to absolutely grin to himself. Oh how he missed you in his arms…the post-orgasm drop off was turning lust into longing quickly. He wiped up the streaks of cum from his body and his hand and disposed of the tissue in the garbage bin beside his bed before returning to your few additional messages as he turned over in bed to cuddle up tiredly. 
-I slept so well with you that night I really miss that -Didn’t know I’d be missing you so much but that week after just had my mind clouded with you and every day since has been filled with wondering when we can see each other next -You’ve really somehow wiggled yourself into my heart and soul Lando Norris and idk how you managed that
It took Lando all of his self control to not tell you he loves you right then and there. He had known you for much longer than you knew him…he had to take it slowly. He had always been hesitant in facing where he stood with you but at that moment, reading your little confession, it just felt like everything was falling into place. 
 landonorris: You’re always the only thing I think about  landonorris: And I am so grateful for you for many reasons I wouldn’t even know where to start if you asked me to -Taking your virginity? 😜  landonorris: LOL yes that especially   landonorris: No one else I would have wanted it to be -I gotta say, you’re certainly not shy over text -Your confidence is sexy -Makes me want to submit to you so bad  landonorris: Donttttt say that or I’ll get hard again -LOL SORRY  landonorris: Tell me more next time 🫣  landonorris: Although I’m probably going to be so shy when we see each other in person again  landonorris: You tend to make me nervous lol -I make you nervous??  landonorris: Yesss you’re my dream girl  landonorris: Ofc you make me all nervous and shy  landonorris: And you make my heart go !!!! -You’re adorable I wanna kiss the fuck outta you so bad rn  landonorris: 🥰🧡 -Gotta get you to Monaco -Gotta get you in my bed  landonorris: Please  landonorris: I literally need that right now -I know you have another term after break but then what’s your summer looking like -Work?
Part of him didn’t want to tell the truth as to what his pathetic summer was looking like but he trust you and you were never one to judge,
 landonorris: Nope  landonorris: No job and living back at my parents place  landonorris: It’s been three days of only winter break and I’m going fucking insane I need to get out of here -Oh my -Would you want an internship or something with my team? Idk if its possible but I can see if I can pull some strings…get you a little summer position at least  landonorris: Oh my god baby I’d love that -Haha okay lover 💕 let me see what I can come up with for you -We’re gonna get you out of this low  landonorris: God I miss you so much  landonorris: You’re fucking incredible  -Anything for you 😘  landonorris: 😘😘 -I’m still pretty jet lagged so I might head to sleep now  landonorris: Ok gorgeous   landonorris: This was fun :)  -Hehe it really was -If we can’t wait until we see each other in person then maybe we should try a phone call next time  landonorris: Fuck I’d say yes except these walls are super thin and I don’t want my parents and siblings to hear every detail about how I want to bend you over your desk and fuck the shit outta you -Fuck offfjffjjfjfjf oh my gosh  landonorris: What?? -You’re making me blush go away 😂  landonorris: 😜 -I seriouslyyyy gotta sleep  landonorris: Yes you do  landonorris: Sleep well baby -You too 💕 I’m gonna imagine you’re cuddling me the whole time  landonorris: Wish I could 🧡🧡 -💕💕
Lando laid there for a little bit, just staring at your little pink hearts with a lovesick grin on his face, still giving his heart a chance to calm down after the events of the previous hour. He scrolled back up your conversation and screenshotted the last little bit of your saucy conversation, starting from his audio recording attachment down to your shared conclusions and then he scrolled back down to your promise of a job. The two most important things to share with his best friends for when they woke up. 
 landonorris: *sent a screenshot*  landonorris: Just made her cum twice over text so anyway how's your nights going 😌  landonorris: *sent a screenshot*   landonorris: And she’s going to help me get the fuck outta this place   landonorris: Get you a girl that can do both  landonorris: I love her so much  landonorris: I can’t wait for the day I can tell her that  landonorris: Good night guys  landonorris: Talk tomorrow 🧡
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scorpioriesling · 8 days
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Invisible String - Part 1
・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Eris x reader
Warning(s): light angst, some involving a child being upset. Please be advised; future parts might not be suitable for all audiences. Proceed with caution.
Summary: You'd taken the nanny position for the royal family over a year ago, not expecting what would come of it or how close you'd grow to the child you cared for. Things became tough for Eris when his wife left him and his daughter, and he found it increasingly harder to raise Riley himself. He soon realizes, you've provided a lot more than the typical job description duties for his daughter... and maybe for him, too.
SR’s Note: I added in the advisory so that younger / uncomfortable readers won't begin the series without knowing or expecting potential risks in content to come. For those who enjoy or look forward to content as such -- get excited! Nonetheless, I hope readers will enjoy this series that came to me in a dream one night as I wait for the poll results from this week's THTH post to come through. (; Much love to all.
Tags: @cynthiesjmxazrielslover (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)
・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
It was like any other day in the West Wing of the Forest House, this weekday the same as many others you’d experienced here over the past year or so that you’d been employed here. The warm glow of the autumn sun painted the cherrywood floors in an amber glow; so beautiful and red, but nothing compared to the red head of hair that bounded over to you on little legs.
“A picture!” Her sweet voice rang out, and you turned to peer down into those big, round eyes of hers. She smiled up at you, her arms outstretched with a piece of paper at the end of it. You gasped, setting down the butter knife and bending down to her level.
“Oh my goodness Miss Riley,” you said and she beamed, her tiny, four-year-old teeth peeking out from behind her lips as you admired her drawing. It was similar to many you’d received before; a crooked drawing of you, holding hands with a crooked stick drawing of Riley. You knew who was who, of course — she made sure to draw a little crown atop her head, obviously.
“You keep it?” She asked, and you smiled at her, nodding in approval.
“Oh absolutely I’ll keep it! This is a work of art!” You said, and she jumped up and down excitedly, twirling in circles before she eventually got too dizzy and stopped. She hadn’t noticed you’d stood, resuming her lunch preparations as she recentered her gravity.
“Y/N I’m hungryyyyy,” she said, and you smiled softly to yourself, placing the top slice of bread on the sandwich in finality.
“I don’t suppose you’re ready for some lunch, hmm?” You ask, and she races to the dining room, stopping at the edge of her chair and throwing her hands in the air. You set down her plate, rolling your eyes at her silly rituals. She’d done this since you’d begun working for her father, insisting on your help though she was more than capable of needing it now.
“Riley — you know you’re grown enough now to get in your chair—“
“Pleeeeease,” she begs, her arms still above her head. “I like when you make me fly.”
You sigh, smiling as you lift under her arms and place her in her chair, her eyes wide as she takes in the plate before her.
“Ham! Yummm! My favorite; thank you, Y/N!” She says, smiling at you before grabbing her little fork and digging into her sliced peaches. You fold your hands, gazing at the small child in wonder.
“You are very welcome Riley — and very good job remembering your manners.” You praise her, and she continues to eat her food in contentment.
You’d spent the rest of the evening doing many of the same activities you’d do with Riley most evenings; playing dolls, braiding her hair how she liked, walking around the palace. Some days, she would ask to play outdoors — this was one her father was a bit iffy on, but since the day was nice, you figured no harm no foul. After a while in the gardens, you’d gotten Riley down for a nap, braided her hair, played dolls, and were cleaning up dinner when the front door to the West Wing opened.
“Daddy!”
As if on cue, every doll and stuffed animal was abandoned on the living room floor, the sound of little footsteps pattering across the cherrywood in anticipation as quick as the beats of your heart in your chest.
“Bunny,” Eris’ silky soft voice floated through the foyer and you rounded the corner in time to see him scoop his daughter up, her laughter ringing out as he peppered her cheeks with kisses.
“Daddy! Tickles!” Riley laughed, and when he finally relented and set her down, she ran right over to you. His gaze met yours, his professional yet gracious smile meeting yours in greeting.
“Y/N,” he said.
“Hello,” you said. No matter how many times you’d seen him come home, you’d never quite figured out a way of greeting friendly enough, yet still professional, but not too weird to use in front of Riley.
“Daddy, I made a drawing,” Riley beamed. Your heart sank a bit, realizing this repeat situation as if it happened yesterday. She’d drawn you so many photos, so many pictures of you and her together — but the fridge you’d used daily to make lunches, dinners, snacks — it was bare.
“Well, also,” You caught Riley’s arm lightly as you bent to her height, pausing her from running to grab her creation. “We brought in a surprise, right?” You reminded, thinking of the few Honeycrisp apples the two of you had picked earlier for her father from the grove as a surprise. Riley contemplated for a moment, then it looked as though a lightbulb went off in her head and she nodded.
“Daddy — I be right back 'kay,” she rushed out before darting for the kitchen, and Eris chuckled. You stood, picking at your sweater as you watched her run off. When you looked to Eris again, he looked to you in the same moment.
“You have no idea,” he started, pausing as if to find the right words as he stepped further into the room. “How much you being here really helps.” He focused on you then, and you shifted under his intense gaze.
“I mean… I… no where else I’d rather be, right?” You smiled lightly, and Eris loosed a breath, running a hand through his hair.
“I’m actually, really, glad to hear that, uh,” he chuckled. “Well, I um,” he cleared his throat as Riley appeared again in the entryway, hands behind her back and a grin on her face.
“Okay daddy, here is the surprise, okay?” She said. His brows rose, and he crouched down as she stepped closer, finally revealing a leaf, bright red in her little fingers. His mouth opened in shock, and she doubled over in a fit of laughter, Eris watching in admiration. You watched the precious girl, her wild sense of humor even at the age of four. You’d wondered, under his professional exterior, did she get that trait from her father, too?
“Alright my dear,” Eris said finally, standing and picking the girl up to carry in his arms. “It appears that it is your bedtime, hmm?”
You were glad he was here to do it this evening — many nights, if her father wasn’t home, you were the one at the other end of her protests, having to explain away his absences and assure her that he would, and you promised, come kiss her on the head when he got home.
You decided to finish scrubbing the last of the dinner dishes, laying them to dry when footsteps behind you caught your attention.
“You always do more than I’ve ever asked Y/N, seriously. I can’t thank you enough.”
You glanced quickly over your shoulder, trying not to look to long at the Autumn Court heir watching your every move.
“It’s nothing, really — it’s only dishes.”
In a matter of strides, he is beside you, leaning against the very counter you’re working at.
“You know what I mean.” He pauses, looking down before continuing. “I don’t know what Riley…” he sighs. “When Selene left us, I… it was, very tough. On all of us. Riley, she… I don’t know how I could’ve done it without your help.” He says quietly. You silently set down the plate you’d been washing, looking at him with knitted brows.
“Don’t ever feel bad for something someone else has done to you,” You say, your heart clenching at the reminder of his wife — well, ex-wife, you supposed — leaving him just over a year ago. Leaving him behind and her daughter.
Your chest ached.
“She made a poor decision. Riley is a lovely little girl, she’s learning so much, and truly she’s a joy to be around. This job isn’t work, for me; I really, really enjoy spending time with her, Eris. Don’t worry about it.” Your eyes meet his again, and you swear you see silver lining them. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth, biting it before turning to face you.
“Live here full time, then.”
You set the plate on the drying rack, reaching for a fork and dunking it into the sink.
“Why would I need to? I’m already here five days a week-“
“But you could be here seven, look — please, at least just for a few months while I settle a few things with the other courts. I just need someone here for Riley in case I’m not here as often, and I will absolutely prepare living arrangements for you, and pay you extra, and-“
“You’re being serious?” You say, your hands stilling in the sink water. Eris stares at you pleadingly. You look down at the water. Sure, you took this job and basically it became your life. Did you have much going on outside this job? No. Was your lease almost up anyways? Yes.
You sigh, taking the fork out and laying it on the drying mat. You wipe your hands on your apron, extending one to Eris. “Fine, it’s a deal-“
He takes your hand, pulling you in and embracing you instead. The thin material of his button down does not leave much to the imagination, every toned muscle beneath…
His hands slowly rub up and down on the small of your back, and you feel your cheeks flushing at the rather intimate contact. You wrap your arms around his neck, his voice nearly inaudible next to your ear as he whispers,
“Thank you.”
:* ✧・゚: *
Within a week, you'd completely uprooted from the ramshackle apartment you'd been renting on the outskirts of the Autumn court and moved yourself into the West Wing. This place felt like more of a home to you anyway, its inviting ambience, the warmth that radiated from the forest surrounding it; the people inside, especially the little girl you'd grown to care so much for over the past year.
"Y/N's moving innnn, Y/N's moving innnnn," Riley sang, skipping down the hallway barefoot in another one of her play-pretend princess dresses. She had a closet full of real gowns, hand-sewn by the seamstresses that worked in the palace themselves -- however, the little girl preferred the itchy costumes to the real ones reguardless.
"I am almost done, I promise, then we will play," you huffed a breath, sweat clinging to your tank top as you crossed the room once more. Eris was gracious to give you your own space, but... so much of it? You weren't used to having a bedroom the size of an entire apartment, let alone one so ornate. Not to mention, one just down the hall from his master room.
You tried not to think too hard about it.
"Y/N! A cookie?" Riley called, and you sighed, looking around at your remaining boxes. You'd just have to tend to them later.
"Riley," you said, rounding the bend and approaching the kitchen where Riley stood near the counter. "It's nearly dinnertime -- you know we can't-"
"Pweeeeease?" She pleads, her round, honey-colored eyes looking to you with such agony. You sigh, scooping her up and sitting her on the counter.
You hang your head between your shoulders, shaking it lowly. "Riley, your father is gonna kill me..."
She squeals in delight, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling you close, her little body buzzing with excitement.
"I love you!"
Your heart warms, and you hold her tight, brushing a hand over her soft strawberry-blonde locks. Its moments like these that you wish you could show Eris, your "boss", your "employer" that this job really doesn't feel like work. You truly enjoy what you do, and his daughter is a magical little thing.
"I love you too, Riles." You say, and she releases you, looking over her shoulder toward the jar of red velvet cookies with a mischevious grin. You reach over, taking the lid off and plucking one from the container. Her legs kick against the cabinets in anticipation, soft giggles of glee coming from her as she watches you break it in half before her.
"Start with half, okay?" You say. She nods, taking it from you and immediately putting it in her mouth. You can't help but smile, watching as she motions to the other half.
"Share with you?" She says. You place a hand on your chest at her words, but hold the cookie out to her anyway.
"Riley, that is very kind of you to offer to share with me! Thank you," she takes it quickly nonetheless. "But, I'm not very hungry right now. I think you should have it."
She nods. "Okay." It's devoured in seconds, the only evidence a few crumbs on the counter. Riley giggles as she watches you brush the crumbs into your hand. Her little pointer finger comes to her lips.
"Shhh," she says, and you grin at her. "Don't tell daddy, okay?" You nod in agreement.
"Okay Miss Riley," you say, dusting your hands off over the trash can. "I won't tell him."
You went for another walk around the Forest House, played tea party and braided hair all before dinner that evening, which was proving to be rather intriguing to the little one that day. She watched as you cut carrots, questioned every spice and oil you'd dumped into the pot, and offerred her assistance more than a few times.
"Is butternut squash soup your favorite?" You ask. Riley cocks her head to the side, playing with a loose string on her Princess Belle dress.
"Hmm... no, it's okay though." She decides, and you continue stirring over the stove.
"I wonder what has you so intrigued in cooking this evening?" You ask, and she sighs, sitting on the wodden floor with her legs stretched out before her.
"I want to do something," she groans, and you nod, trying to understand what she is getting at.
"Mhm, what do you mean by that?"
"I want to... can we do something fun tomorrow?" She asks, and you shrug.
"Well, I like to think we have a lot of fun everyday together, wouldn't you say?"
"Yesssss," she lets out an exasperated sigh. "But I want to go somewhere fun with you. Me and you. Oh, and daddy. When is daddy coming home?" She asks. You chew the inside of your cheek, glancing to the wall clock. He'd routinely arrive around or just after Riley's bedtime -- 8 PM. However, since asking you to move in last week, he'd been coming home later and later. It seemed that he really did need your help with whatever he had going on, the gravity of it much bigger than you could understand.
"I'm... not sure, Riles." You answered, and she huffed.
"He's never home to play with me." She frowned, and you glanced down at her.
"Well, that's not true, he-"
"He never even comes home for dinner." She crosses her arms, her angered expression softening a bit. You set down your spoon, tucking your hair behind your ears as you kneel down before the upset child.
"Riley," you say calmly. "Your father just has a lot going on right now sweetheart, okay? I promise he loves you very much-"
You stop talking when you notice a silent tear roll down her cheek, and your heart threatens to break right in half inside your chest. You reach for her, and she turns to putty in your hands, allowing you to pull her close and hold her in your embrace.
"Oh, Riles," you say soothingly. "Please don't be upset sweet girl," you plead. She sniffles, her cheek wet against your skin above your top. You run your fingers along her hair, quietly comforting her until she eventually calms down. She pulls back, looking up at you with her puffy, but dry eyes and it takes everything in you to offer her a smile as your finger brushes lightly against her cheekbone.
"There she is," you say, and she smiles a little. "Miss Riley is back again." She grins, folding her hands in her lap as her gaze locks just beyond your face. She reaches out, her tiny fingers grazing the shell of your ear before her brows knit and she reaches for her own.
"Yours are not... no... you have..." she searches for the right word, the events prior not seeming to matter now that they've passed. You guide her fingers to the top of her ear, and then gesture to yours.
"Pointy," you say. "Your ears are pointy. Mine are different -- they are round." You explain, and she nods, processing the terms.
"Po-in-ty," she says. She looks at your ear again. "Why do you have... uh..."
"Round?"
"R-ou-nd," she continues. "Ears for?" She asks. You smile softly at her, those innocent eyes having no idea the life she has in store for herself to come.
"Because Riley," you explain. "There are different types of people; some people, like your father and-" you stop, not even wanting to approach the subject. "...your father is going to be a King someday. You, well, you are a Princess." She smiles and nods as if this is already a known fact to her.
"Then, there are people like me. I'm just... well, I'm me." You shrug. "I'm just a fae like anyone else." Riley frowns.
"You are a Princess too," she says, and you chuckle.
"No, Riley, only when we play dress up and I borrow one of your crowns. You are the Princess in real life." She stands, her hands on her hips.
"Y/N is a Princess," she says, looking at you eye-to eye. You raise your eyebrows, not knowing where this is going.
"Riley-"
"Princess lives in the castle." Riley says, beginning to jump up and down. You nod, reaching up to turn off the stovetop heat under your surely burnt soup.
"Yes, but-"
"You live in here with me!" She squeals, twirling in circles. You shake your head.
"Riley, I only live here because your dad asked me to move in-"
"Y/N is a Princess! Y/N is a Princess!" She starts chanting. You sigh, making to stand and remove the soup pot from the stove.
"Riley, you are the Princess! There's only one Princess!" You say loudly over her shouting, and she stills, her devilish grin only cause for concern.
"Then... Y/N is a Queen." Riley gasps, her little hand flying to her mouth as though she's just thought of the greatest idea in the world.
"Y/N is the Queen! In a castle! With the Princess! Is me! and, and, and daddy! he's, he's-" she pauses her jumping and chanting, her hand splayed on the wall to catch her breath.
"Ohmygosh I have to go draw-"
"Ohhh no ya don't," you say, setting down her bowl of soup on the table in front of her and plopping her into her chair before she could take off down the hallway. "Dinner first, young lady."
She groans, quickly shoveling soup into her mouth. "Ughhh, okay, fine." She grins, looking sidelong at you. "I will eat your delicious soup, my Queen," she says in a silly victorian accent, and you let out a laugh at her rediculousness. She giggles too, continuing her comedy. "I will eat, and eat and eat, I will eat because I am a Princess, and you are a Queen, and soon, the King will be home, and we won't tell him about the cookie-"
The two of you are too busy giggling furiously over her sillyness that you don't hear the front door swing open, or the footsteps leading inside. It's only when you hear his whiskey-smooth voice that you turn from the dining table, your face flushing at the sight before you. Much to your delighted surprise, the handsome red headed male leaned against the dining room archway had arrived home much earlier today than either of you had expected.
His small smile was his only greeting, his tousled locks and few undone buttons revealing the exhausting day he'd surely had before he said; "I wasn't aware that I had a Princess and a Queen dining at my table tonight?"
:* ✧・゚: *
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Text
Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 116
Part 1 Part 115
Steve’s counting the days until winter break. Something’s settled within him, now that things have been hashed out with Eddie, and he’s ditched his car and old house key. He wants to go home. But there’s a good week left of pretending to still care about schoolwork along with the rest of the seniors. 
High school, as always, is a powder keg Steve can’t wait to get out of – all it takes is a single lit match and the whole barrel’s going up in flames, taking all nearby bystanders down with it. Steve’s never been good at keeping his distance. 
Carol and Tommy used to be his crutches. They both know how to look out for the striking of the match, when to step back, and when to blow it out. They’d circle him like feral wolves protecting their fresh kill. 
Steve’s always been good at reading people’s moods, but never the room. And now that Carol’s on the fringes of the in-crowd, and Steve’s drop-kicked himself out entirely, all they’ve got left is Tommy, and he’s more likely to be holding the match.
Steve’s dressed down for gym for the first time in weeks, his doctor’s note apparently the only stay of execution he’d receive. He’s excited, is the thing. He’s not even particularly bothered by the looks the other guys are throwing him in the locker room, knows there are scars now that there weren’t the last time he was in here: most notably shiny pink burns speckled across his back.
It doesn’t matter. He wants to move.
Hargrove snorts. “I knew you were into some kinky shit, Harrington,” he drawls from across the locker room. “But this is sick, even for you.” 
Steve pulls his shirt down and slips his shoes on without untying them, ready to get out of there. It doesn’t stop Hargrove from calling after him.
“Is that what you let those freaks do when you were all tied up?”
Steve doesn’t mean to turn back, but he does, confusion taking over his higher brain functions. Hargrove’s smirking, a few of his cronies hanging on to his every word and laughing right along with him.
Hagan’s not laughing. His fists are bunched and he’s glaring at Steve, but Steve still knows him. Tommy has never been an angry guy. The anger’s always been a veneer, spread thin, to cover up something else. His hands are shaking right now, like he’s not sure whether to punch Steve or hug him. He’s sucking on his bottom lip like he wishes it was Steve’s.
Steve turns his back to him, and hears his laugh, a smack of skin. He doesn’t look back. 
There will probably always be a Steve that lives inside of him that misses Tommy Hagan. The same Steve that remembers being small in the backseat of his parent’s car and just wants the idea of them back. But, that’s the Steve of years ago from a simpler, shallower time. The Steve of now has people who love him enough to stay when things get hard.
Would Tommy ever have opened his home to Steve when he got kicked out? Would Tommy have ever walked through hell to get him back?
Soccer’s not a high-contact sport, but Hargrove sure does his best to make it one. 
Basketball skills don’t translate well to it, but there’s a certain level of athleticism that makes most hand-to-eye coordination tenible. None of which explains the way Hargrove’s foot keeps slipping when he tries to kick the ball and bashing into Steve’s shins. 
None of which explains the way his shoulder checks Steve’s with enough force to send him sprawling. Twice. 
And he keeps saying shit.
“I get why you’d let those two redheads fuck with you,” Hargrove calls, looking up and down Steve’s own body like he’s trying to picture something tawdry.  “Hell, Carol’s a tight piece of ass.”
He grins smamirly over at Hagan, either not noticing or simply not caring that Hagan’s face has dropped all its forced joviality. 
“But those kids? My sister?” he continues, still grinning like it’s funny. “What are you, some sort of pedophile?”
“I don’t know your sister, man,” Steve calls, disgust twisting in his stomach, knotting his intestines up in creative bows. 
Steve kick, kick, passes the ball around Hargrove’s weak defense, hoping Hargrove will follow the ball. He doesn’t. 
“Even worse, you let Munson in on that action?” he taunts, staring Steve down. 
Steve looks past him, watching his temporary teammate score an easy goal against a goalie who’s clearly never played a sport in his life. He doesn’t know what Hargrove’s on about, but engaging with vipers never leads anywhere good. 
It doesn’t stop him from spewing more poison. “I always knew you were a freak.” He says it like he’d rather fling a different word that starts with the letter F. 
The teacher blows his whistle at them, shouting complaints about lazing about and lollygagging, so they’re all three forced to run to the other side of the field and catch up with the rest of the game. That doesn’t stop Hargrove from running his mouth. 
“Hell, I heard all sorts of rumors about the three of you, back when you were the king. Carol, Tommy, and Steve, the inseparable trio.” Even through all the monologuing, he doesn’t even have the decency to be out of breath. 
Steve’s lived a far more sedentary life this past year, and he’s panting now, forehead tacky with sweat. But, there’s a certain level of athleticism it takes years to lose, so he still keeps up. 
“I know Carol was Tommy’s girl,” Hargrove continues, lunging around Steve to stop the ball, kicking it from foot to foot with coordinated ease. “But I heard you were taking it just as much as she was.” 
Hargrove feints left, right, scores a goal, running backward to get back on defense without turning his grinning face away from Steve’s. 
“Who would've thought King Steve was a fa–”
Tommy Hagan’s fist interrupts Hargrove’s little speech. It connects with a meaty thwack! with Hargrove’s jaw, hard enough to make his teeth clack together. 
So: powder keg, lit match, ka-boom!
“What the fuck were you just going to call me?” Hagan snarls. 
He swings again until Hargrove rolls them over and starts swinging back. Steve stares, stunned as the teacher blows his whistle and starts running. 
He can almost hear Eddie’s soapbox rant. Something about testosterone, and projection, and the homoeroticism of high school sportsball. 
Both boys are bloody and seething by the time they’re pulled apart and escorted to the principal’s office. 
He intercepts Carol at Barbara’s car after school to tell her what happened, unsurprised when she just laughs. 
“Serves him right,” she says grinning and peering into the parking lot like she might catch sight of his bloodied face. 
“Should we do something about the rumors?” he asks, whispering the last word like if someone hears it, they’ll immediately spew homophobic slurs in both of their directions.
Carol just waves her hand dismissively. “Nah, that’ll just fan the flames.” She wraps her hand around his waist and squeezes, fingers tucked proprietarily beneath his t-shirt. “Go home and this’ll all blow over by next week.”
He tells Eddie what happened on the way home.
Eddie cackles. “Of course it would happen in gym,” he says, grinning as he runs a vacant stop sign without even a rolling stop. “All that testosterone running through their bodies until they’ve just got to touch each other.”
Steve settles in to listen to his rant, delighted when he guessed most of the beats Eddie would hit just right. 
He should be surprised when Hargrove and Hagan are sitting next to each other at lunch the next day, laughing and shit-talking as if the whole school isn’t still atwitter about their all-out brawl the day before. 
He should be, but he’s not. Tommy and Carol have always been good at playing the game, and it looks like Tommy’s determined to stay on the board. 
Steve and Carol trade a commiserating lunch, and go back to their respective conversations. Tommy’s been given chance after chance to make a different choice, but he never does. Steve’s not about to light his own match for an old friend who’d never burn right along with him.
Steve counts down the days until he can go home, and stay there with Eddie, for weeks on end. Four, three, two, one. 
Home.
Part 117
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imakemywings · 5 months
Text
What Comes Naturally
Fandom: The Silmarillion
Characters: Indis, Miriel
Summary: Two queens of the Noldor discuss motherhood.
Length: 2.9k
AO3 | Pillowfort | SWG
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“What a trial motherhood was,” said Míriel in the understatement of several Ages, leaning back with a huff, so that she almost knocked Indis’ nose with the back of her head. “Not that you would know.”
            “Not that I would know?” Indis echoed, her brows arched. However, she refrained from further remark, and Míriel elaborated. Since Míriel’s return, Indis had gathered that at times, Míriel would give explanation only if you kept quiet. (Other times, she would explain regardless of whether one wished it or not, but this was likely only with technical matters. On Míriel’s first day in the palace, Indis had received a three hour lecture on the function of various parts of a loom after fatefully inquiring how Míriel found her old tools.)
            “Well,” said Míriel, and despite her dismissive tone, Indis felt something rawer in her voice now, facing away from Indis, than she had heard from her all that day, more even than when she’d had Indis’ hands between her legs. “Elfinesse the realm over praises your sweetness and care; I assumed that motherhood and nurturing came naturally to you.”
            Indis resumed combing through Míriel’s sleek silver hair. Beyond the open windows, a dove whistled. The rest of the house was still and relaxed in the warmth of the sunlight as the day eased towards evening; perhaps the slowness of the day had led to this thoughtful (for so it was, even if Míriel feigned otherwise) conversation.
            “Perhaps,” Indis allowed slowly. “Though ‘naturally’ does not mean ‘wholly without effort.’ The joy of it came naturally, certainly.” Míriel said nothing else, and Indis, with great restraint, held back from probing or trying to change the subject.
            “For my part, I believe pulling teeth would have been a simpler and more rewarding task,” Míriel said at last into the silence of the bedroom.
            “Surely it was not so terrible,” Indis objected, then cringed. Míriel snorted mirthlessly.
            “Whatever Finwë told you of my efforts, certain I am that he was kinder to me than I deserve.”
            Indis worked carefully through a small knot near the ends of Míriel’s hair. “You were ill, Míriel,” she said gently, at length. Míriel grunted.
            “Yet still I was a terrible mother,” she said. “Even Fëanáro knew it, though he has since forgotten.” Indis opened her mouth, but Míriel silenced her before she could get in the air to disagree. “He always preferred Finwë,” she said. “Even as a babe in arms. How he wailed when I held him! And nothing could I do to calm him! At times I thought at the least he would eventually tire himself and then be content, but he seemed to have an endless reserve of energy for screaming, and the volume!” Míriel winced. “He could drive me to tears for want of a moment of quiet! So of course in the end I would give him over to Finwë, and it seemed at once he would be smiling and reaching out with his little hands and laughing! I cannot recall that he ever laughed for me. He must have, I suppose, but I…” Míriel trailed off, almost confused. Indis was not sure if her memories were muddled by virtue of her rebirth or the illness which preceded her death, or both.
            “Finwë had a way with children.”
            “I was told and told and told how naturally motherhood came, once the babe was born,” said Míriel, and Indis could picture the wrinkle of her flat nose. “Naturally! Not to me, but to Finwë, certainly. He seemed always to simply know what Fëanáro wanted, and if he did not, he would figure it out, or find some suitable substitute.” She shook her head.
            “You would have come into it,” Indis insisted. “If you had had the time. You would have learned.”
            “Perhaps. But if I must learn, then it was not natural.” Doubt shadowed her words. Again, she fell silent, and Indis forced herself not to fill it. Early evening light slanted through the windows, turning the mantle to gold, lighting up the dust motes floating around the bed curtains. Míriel lifted a hand as if to chase them with her touch; there were still times when she seemed amazed to be in the world again, to have physical sensations like touch and sight and sound (Indis, in the very new days, had found her by the fountain in the yard, weeping profusely over the sound the water made burbling up in the bowl of it, and often early she had touched Indis as if expecting her to dissipate beneath her fingertips.)
            “I cannot say I was ever one who weathered failure gracefully,” Míriel said then, as Indis slid off the bed and went to the bottles and jars on her vanity. “I was failing at motherhood and I could see it, and I felt sure the baby and the rest of the city knew it too. And do you know? I resented him. I gave everything of myself to this child, and he would only smile for his father, and he made everyone whisper behind my back—or so I thought, I haven’t an idea if it was actually true—and even when he was quiet for me, he looked at me with these great accusing eyes as if to say he knew I was the worse parent.”
            “M��riel…” Indis began uneasily, fingers lingering over the cosmetics. “Babies don’t…”
            “I know, Indis, I know,” Míriel snapped. “But as you say, I was ill, and in my illness I was convinced this child whom I had given so much to bring into the world loved me not, nor would, and every day it seemed I could not escape my failures. I asked for him less and less; I felt the more I left to Finwë, the better for the child.
            “Still he would come and see me, but even then I felt he disliked me. A-times I could hear him in the yard with his nursemaids, running and shouting and laughing as children do, but when he came to me, he had to play quietly, or not at all, for Mother’s head hurt, and Mother was tired, and Mother needed to rest. What joy is there for a child, sitting in a dark sick-room with a feeble shade of a woman who never knew how to be a mother?” Míriel lapsed into silence, scowling.
            “You know he loved you,” Indis said quietly, returning to the bed with a small vial. She dabbed a bit of osmanthus oil from the vial onto her fingers to brush through Míriel’s hair. “You were his mother, and he loved you without thought for your condition.”
            “What does a toddler understand of love? They know only safety and joy, or the absence of them. Love? What complexities of love could be grasped by such an infant? He knew that his father made him happy, and I did not; for him, what deeper considerations could exist?”
            “I disagree,” Indis said. “I think he loved you even then. Perhaps he did not understand it, but he did.”
            “Truly you think a babe can comprehend some notion of love?” Míriel asked, twisting around to look in skeptical astonishment at Indis.
            “I do,” she said firmly. “Truly you believe they cannot?”
            “A child who can barely string together a sentence, know love? Next you shall tell me mice and horses know it!”
            “Must one be able to articulate the feeling to feel it?” Indis asked.
            “I believe one must be able to understand it!”
            “I disagree,” was all Indis said.
            Míriel shook her head. “Yours is a gentle spirit I think,” she said. “Better not to comprehend an absence of love. I see why Finwë chose you.”
            “Gentle, perhaps, but I should think not naïve,” Indis replied with a hint of an edge. “I do not speak out of blind hope, Míriel.”
            Míriel regarded her a moment, and then said: “No, I did not think so. I would not accuse you of that. Perhaps it is only that I have grown cynical. No—perhaps that I always was.”
            There were things Indis could have said then—about the vain effort of cynicism to protect a weary heart, about Míriel’s struggles, about the necessity of not closing oneself off to feeling—but instead she just took Míriel’s hand and squeezed it.
            “I will not say I have never felt it, for that would be a lie. But you were telling me of Fëanáro’s infancy,” she said, and Míriel nodded. Still she was quiet a moment, and Indis thought the interruption would be the end of Míriel’s sharing, but then she continued.
            “Yes…the more my illness took me, the less reason girded my thoughts, as you can see. As my weariness grew, I convinced myself that I was doing him a favor; that he would, truthfully, be better off without me. One can always convince oneself that one’s desired course of action is also, coincidentally, the best for everyone else, isn’t it so?”
            Indis bit her lip against the desire to interject that that it could never have been that Fëanor or anyone else would have been better off if Míriel were dead.
            “What a little fool he was, too,” Míriel went on crabbily. “To think he had the fortune of a mother such as yourself walking into his life, and he pushed you away for want of me! I should pinch him if I could. The real tragedy would have been if you and I had traded places!”
            “I think you are too hard—”
            “All of that rather makes it sound like I cared not for him, doesn’t it?” Míriel let out another long sigh. “It isn’t so. He was the flesh of my flesh, how could I not love him? Or at least…in the beginning. At the end, I do not believe I loved anything. I had not the capacity any longer.” Indis was neither combing nor braiding, simply running her hands through Míriel’s hair in hopes of soothing her. “But there it is, you see? I think no matter how ill you were, Indis, you could not watch your children sobbing at your bedside, could not hear them begging for you to come home, to be a mother, and feel nothing.”
            “I do not think you felt nothing,” said Indis quietly. Míriel’s shoulders tensed.
            “Was it not near enough? Nothing he said, nothing Finwë said, would change my course. I broke his heart, and I knew I was going to do it. And out of sheer stubbornness, I refused to return once I had done it.”
            “You were—”
            “Yes, yes, I was unwell,” Míriel said forcefully. “And yet, I was myself still. I was not deprived of my faculties. I was aware of the consequences of my actions.”
            “Such knowledge may become subordinated to extended pain and discomfort,” said Indis. “We are, after all, still physical beings. True thought is difficult when one’s mind is focused on the struggles of the body.” When Míriel said nothing, Indis added: “I know not that I could have done otherwise in your place. I have never felt as you did then.”
            “I feel quite assured you would have borne it with more grace.” Míriel’s tone was breezy, and Indis could not discern if there was something heavier beneath it or not.
            “I know that you bore it a long time,” said Indis, beginning to weave Míriel’s hair into a set of braids. “I tend to doubt very much I could have managed so long.”
Míriel leaned back slightly into Indis’ touch, relaxing a little. “It felt like a long time,” she murmured. “Stars, it felt like such a long time. It was only a few years. But it felt so terribly, terribly long.”
            “I think ‘tis a credit to your love,” said Indis, “for Finwë and for Fëanáro, that you endured so long as you did.”
            Míriel said nothing, and Indis worked the second braid down to the tie. She thought back to what Míriel had said earlier. It had never occurred to her, in all her morose anxiety that she would never live up to the exalted former queen of the Noldor, that there was anything Míriel might have felt similarly about, looking at Indis.
            “I know you would have been a good mother to Fëanáro, if he had permitted it,” Míriel said at last. She twisted around on the bed to look at Indis. “And I am grateful, for what you did do.”
            “It was not much,” Indis demurred. Fëanor had not allowed it to be much, and at some point, Indis had given it up as a lost cause.
            “I fault you not for that,” Míriel said with a wry twist of her mouth. “When I died, I had hopes that Fëanáro would turn out to be like his father. Everyone likes Finwë. How could anyone not? In fact, I believe he was sometimes overconcerned with how well he was liked. And Fëanáro looked so like him, even as a child! Unfortunately, it seems he took after myself, and so I have great pity for you.”
            Indis could not help but giggle at this, try as she might.
            “I see you trying not to laugh,” said Míriel. “But you ought; ‘tis true. Finwë was liked and I was a bitch.”
            “You were liked!” Indis exclaimed. “Even still, you have scant idea how the Noldor lamented your absence.”
            “Mm. Liked, perhaps, but likeable? No, that was never me. If anything, I was liked in spite of myself. I never did understand why Finwë chose me.”
            “He was amazed by you,” said Indis with a smile. It was good, when they could speak comfortably of their pasts this way, without rancor or injury. “That never changed. Nor do I disagree with him.” Míriel’s lips curved into a smile as well, softly fond, and Indis found herself saying: “Do you remember how he would smile, that one particular way, where you could just imagine what he might have looked like as a child?”
            Míriel’s smile grew. “Yes, I know the look,” she said, flashing teeth. “Ah, but how he charmed me with that! He was a beautiful thing, wasn’t he?”
            “I will tell you,” said Indis, “I saw it very rarely, but once or twice, I have seen Fëanáro smile that way.”
            Míriel’s eyes grew distant, as if she were drawn into a dream, but her smile remained, close-lipped once more. There was such a silent ache about her that Indis could not resist throwing her arms around Míriel’s shoulders to embrace her from behind, squeezing her tightly as if to give physical reassurance that she was not alone. Míriel’s loose robe slipped down her shoulders at Indis’ touch.
            “But he was clever like you,” Indis whispered to her. There had been a time when she could not have spoken of Fëanor this way, when her anger and bitterness against him overbore any of the sympathy she had harbored for him in his youth. Half of her children and all her grandchildren he had stolen from her, and never had he missed a chance to spit in her face if he could. Yet there had been a time too when she had seen the better in him, and empathized with his pain, and there was almost relief, in speaking of him with Míriel, in purging the acidity of her wrath. It did little good, she reminded herself, to dwell perpetually in anger, even if the object of it would walk no more among them. Nothing in her garden grew of her anger. “I saw it in the work you left behind. Your minds ran the same paths.”
            “Pity the boy,” said Míriel ruefully. “And his father too!”
            “I think neither of them would have had it any other way.”
            Míriel put a hand over Indis’, and rubbed the back of Indis’ hand, slowly returning from that dreamy place where she at times withdrew to, as if her mind were still making sense of how much had changed since she last lived in truth. It was some moments before she spoke again.
            “I understand he was difficult for you,” said Míriel. “And for that I apologize...I am still…still learning of the full extent of all that transpired…” Míriel’s voice had grown thicker, and Indis could catch a glimpse of the grief that the queen tried so doggedly to shield from view. “I spoke again with your grandson several days past; he told me a little more of the fortunes of the Noldor in Middle-earth…” A place they never would have been but for Fëanor’s rebellion. Indis knew that Finrod would be cautious in what he shared, but Míriel was sharp enough to fill in many gaps. She knew how much ruin had come of Fëanor’s actions, if she did not yet know every detail of it.
“And I have spoken a short while with his wife.” Indis had hoped that Míriel and Nerdanel might share something of a grief the rest of the Noldor were not keen in hearing of, but as neither of them was particularly inclined to spill their hearts to a stranger, she could not say yet if introducing them had done any good. “But ‘twas you that knew him in his youth. Could you—would you—tell me something else of him, of my son?”
            “Of course,” said Indis, loosening her hold on Míriel. She eased back down onto the mattress and sat beside Míriel so that she could still hold her hand. “What would you like to know?”
            “Anything,” said Míriel. “Everything.”
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ghostofaboy · 6 months
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Picture This
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Summary: Max goes to meet with a business rival, but things take a surprising turn... for the better.
Pairing: Maxwell Lord / Male OC Rating: Explicit. Serious over 18s only | Word Count: 2167
Warnings: Anal sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, mentions of oral and anal fingering
Note: This as not been beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes. This is a fic with gay/bi characters. Please make sure you’ve read the warnings.
This isn’t how Max had thought his day would go when he arrived at the house today. After getting up and making breakfast for himself and Alistair, he’d received a call from a friend. Well… friend might not have been the right word to use, as James Orson was more of a business rival than anything else. They’d talked from time to time and got along well enough, but this call had come out of the blue. Did Alistair want to come over to play with James’ son Mark? 
Curiosity had gotten the better of him and after agreeing, Max had set off to James’ ridiculously large house. James had greeted them at the door, leading Max and Alistair through to a beautiful playroom where Mark, a cheerful looking eight-year-old, was already playing with several other boys. Three other men smiled as they entered, chatting animatedly with their sons and each other. Always good at making friends, Alistair had dove straight in and was soon happily playing with the other children.
“Let’s leave them to it.” James had put an arm around Max’s shoulders, steering him out of the room, leaving the boys under the watchful eye of the other dads.
“What’s this about, James?” Max frowned as James led him into his study. 
It was classical look room, with dark wood paneled walls, lined with floor to ceiling bookcases. Opposite the door was a large mahogany desk with an oversized leather office chair behind it. To the left of the door was a plush red sofa, while on the right were a pair of high backed armchairs that flanked an expensive looking antique globe.
“I heard you’ve been having a bit of trouble with some of your investments.” James smiled, pulling open the globe to reveal a whiskey decanter and cluster of glasses. Pouring two drinks, James held one out to Max, who continued to frown as he took the heavy glass. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. Simon Stagg is no friend to you, and he’s already plotting against you.”
“Simon would never.” Max shook his head, joining James as he sat on the sofa. “He and I are good friends and the business is-”
“You have no oil, and you have no way to get any.” James took a sip of his whiskey. “You’re fucked. You’ll be bankrupt within months from what I’ve been told.”
“I don’t know who you been-”
“Max.” James turned in his seat to face Max. “I’m trying to help you. You and I have always had a friendly rivalry, but I have no desire to see you ruined. Please listen to me.”
Max could feel his heart pounding in his chest. How could James know this? It was all true, of course. His finances were dwindling, and he had no doubt Simon would screw him over without a second thought. After a few moments staring into the amber liquid, Max looked up into James’ eyes.
“Who have you been talking to?”
“Simon has been fishing for investors. One of the people he spoke to was my father. Seems as thought Simon plans to ‘expose’ you as a fraud and divorce himself financially from you.” James sighed, taking another sip. “My father told me, and I decided to talk to you.”
“Why?”
“I like you.” James chuckled, cocking his head and looking Max up and down. His eyes wandered over Max’s faces, down this body before resting for a fraction of a second on his crotch. Licking his lips, James shrugged. “We have a lot in common. We’re both immigrants who have built what we have from the ground up. We’re divorced with a son. Similar goals and similar interests.”
Something strange bubbled inside Max’s stomach as he caught on to James’ meaning. Taking a mouthful of whiskey, Max winced as it burnt his throat, watching James the whole time. He had leaned back on the sofa now, patiently waiting for Max to speak, his bright green eyes soaking in every detail of Max’s face.
“So, what do you propose?” Max coughed out, opting to cup the glass in his hands to hide his trembling. “Do you have advice for me?”
“Well, I could give you lots of advice, Max.” James smiled, oozing charm and confidence, as he shifted a little closer to Max. “But I thought something a little more hands on would help. You need money. I have money. You have a strong media presence. I need-”
“I get the idea.” Max held a hand up, taking in James’ offer. “A partnership? That’s what you wanted to offer me? That’s why you asked me here today?”
“No.” James’ laughed. A hearty, warm laugh without malice as James threw his head back. “I asked you here today to seduce you. I’ve been planning today since I saw you at the Thompson’s gala last month. You were breathtaking. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. So I waited until I knew you had Alistair from your ex to use that as an excuse to invite you over.”
Max’s jaw dropped. “But what about all the Simon talk?”
“Oh, that happened yesterday.” James shrugged. “My father called me to gossip and I figured I could help while I had you here. The business offer and the personal offer are separate. I’m not opposed to mixing business and pleasure, but I don’t want you to feel obliged to take it if we fuck. Or think you have to fuck me if I invest in Black Gold.”
Max could feel his cock stirring at the thought of being fucked by James and slowly took another sip of his whiskey. He was a good-looking man, taller than Max and just as broad. Max would be lying if he said he’d never thought of James while touching himself. But to know that James had been looking at him in the same way was exciting.
“I’m interested.” He said after a brief silence.
“In which?” James edged closer, his voice dropping lower. “The business or the personal offer?”
“Both.”
/ / / / / 
Max felt his cheeks flush as James grabbed his tit, pinching the nipple between a finger and thumb. Max couldn't stop himself from gasping, letting his head drop back onto James’ shoulder, he let the heavy bliss settle over him as he gave himself over to his arousal.
From his seat on the James’ cock, Max rolled his hips, bouncing his own cock in front of him as the other man fucked up into him. One hand was firmly on his hip, controlling Max's pace and occasionally giving a reassuring squeeze. The other roamed. Currently, it cupped his soft breasts, but it had played with Max's cock and pulled his hair to yank his head back for his neck to be sucked and kisses.
Someone was watching them. Max could see their shadow beneath the door, moving occasionally but remaining close to the study door. Max had no idea who it was watching them through the keyhole, and honestly he didn’t care. Spreading his legs wider and arching his back, Max began to lift himself off James’ cock a little more. If the person at the door wanted a show, then Max was damn well going to give them one.
Beneath him, James bucked up into his ass, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. Muttering something against his neck, Max felt James’ other hand leave his hip and join the other cupping his tits. Two large hands fondled and squeezed, jiggling the soft mounds while rolling his nipples. Max’s cheeks burned with arousal and shame.
He wasn’t in the best shape anymore, with his figure soft and rounder than his youth. While it could be hidden under his sharp suits usually, when naked there was no hiding his small breasts and round tummy that sagged slightly to obscure his diminutive penis. His ex-wife used to mock him relentlessly for his dick and tummy, but judging by James’ reaction, he felt differently. 
James’ cock was thick, filling Max’s hole, stretching him and leaving him feeling stuffed. After a frantic make out session, James had asked Max to strip and to his astonishment Max hadn’t hesitated. Max had ended up on his knees on the sofa swallowing James’ cock as the other man fingered him open, preparing him for the girthy dick. They’d then shifted onto the large high backed armchair they were on now where Max had straddled James’, pressing his back to his new lover’s chest, as he sank down until James was splitting him open.
The shadow under the door was more obvious now and Max was sure James must have seen it too as he thrust up sharply into Max, causing him to let out a strangled moan. Max’s thighs trembled as the burning hot fire inside him began to grow and spread, his cock twitching and bouncing as he rode James for their invisible audience. James’ hands gripped Max’s tits, squeezing and exaggerating them, sending pulses of electric bliss shooting through his body. Max was drowning his the ecstasy as James’ hip jerked up, increasing the pace, plunging his cock deep into Max mercilessly. 
“Can you see?” James hissed into his ear, and Max’s eyes immediately found the dark shadow.
Max nodded. “Y-yes. I see them. Do you think... oooh... do you think you are watching?”
“I hope so.” James grunted, his pace becoming more erratic, clearly chasing his finish. “What a sight for them. You... fuck... you look so sexy. Wave your cock at them, Max. I’m close... want you to come with me.”
Max didn't need to be told twice, reaching down and gripping the base of his dick. Waving it towards the door, just the idea of the person peeking through the keyhole was almost enough to make Max climax. Stopping for a moment to compose himself, Max began again, waggling his cock in time with James’ thrusts.
Goosebumps danced over their skin as each man gave themselves over to the dizzying, intoxicating pleasure. While James held back moans, Max loudly expressed his lust, whimpering and crying out as he felt apart. The combination of James hitting the sweet spot inside him, the squeezing and pulling of his tits, and the idea of someone watching was all too much for Max. With a strangled breathy noise, Max tumbled over the edge, writhing on James’ cock as he came.
Flicking his thick release as he bounced, Max spilled himself as shockwaves washed over him. James purred his approval while Max sobbed as he emptied himself, trembling as the last of his climax ebbed away. Then with one final powerful trust and a low rumbling growl, Max felt James come, flooding his ass with his seed.
Limp against James’ chest, Max blinked, waiting for his vision to return as James rode out his orgasm. Finally, his grip on Max’s tits fell away as James wrapped his arms around Max. He felt James begin to tenderly kiss his neck while the two men panted and slumped boneless in the armchair. 
Glistening with sweat, the air soon began to cool them and Max gave a shiver, glancing back over to the door. The shadow was still there, enjoying the view of Max’s softening and retreating cock. Letting out a satisfied sigh, James nuzzled against Max’s jaw.
“We should move. The other guys will be wondering where we are.”
“One already knows.” Max whispered, nodding over to the door. “Also... I was not quiet.”
“True.” James laughed softly. “Still, we should clean up. Come on, we can’t stay here all day.”
Max gave a small whine, but slowly lifted himself off of James’ now flaccid cock, hissing softly as he stood. Stepping towards the sofa to gather his clothes, Max heard footstep quickly retreating from the door. Behind him, James chuckled as he pulled on his clothes, playfully slapping Max’s ass as they dressed.
Finally, fully dressed again, Max carefully fixed his hair before following James back to the playroom with the children. Inside, they were greeted with smiles from the other dads and cheers and excited chatter from the kids. Alistair was sat over in the corner with Mark with a tub full of Lego, both boys giving their fathers quick smiles before returning to their building.
Glancing around the other men, Max couldn’t tell which of them had been their voyeur. He had expected one of them to blush, avoid his glaze, or perhaps even be a little flirty. But instead, he was met with amiable smiles and small talk about being a single dad. Part of Max childishly pouted, desperately wanting to know and hear this person’s version of what they saw. But then another part of Max loved the mystery.
Whoever it was, they were going to get another show. Maybe not today, but soon. Perhaps Max could convince James to throw a party, to fill the house with guests, before riding his cock behind unlocked doors.
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𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓃𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒 {𝒟𝒶𝓏𝒶𝒾 𝒪𝓈𝒶𝓂𝓊}
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Summary: Life and death will always lead you into love and regret
Pairings: Dazai x reader
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, mentions of suicide attempts, mentions of clowns
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Theoretically there was no other ability more powerful than Dazai's No Longer Human. An ability that allows him to nullify every other ability, who could top that?
For the sake of himself and of the Agency Dazai hoped that no one could top his ability. But on days when the alcohol had a stronger grip on him than usual and the absence of the only person that had considered his friend was even more evident, Dazai couldn't help but wonder if there was someone with a stronger ability than his.
After many months of debate, one random Tuesday he received the answer he was looking for. Yes, there was indeed such a person. It came to no surprise when he learnt that you were already working for the Port Mafia. Of course Mori would want to have someone with the ability to use others' abilities under his command.
While the meeting had only been held by Fukuzawa in order to inform the members of the Detective Agency about Port Mafia's newest 'employee', Dazai's mind was elsewhere. Needless to say he was already trying to make up a plan to meet you. And his need to see you only grew stronger the moment Fukuzawa underlined you being extremely dangerous.
The rest of the week passed by quietly; no odd jobs, no odd requests. Everything was calm. And because he had lived yet another day, Dazai decided it was time for his reward.
That same Sunday night, he managed to get out of his bed and wear his beige coat he had thrown on the floor the past Friday upon returning from work.
Setting his logic aside, he let his instincts guide him. He walked down the busy streets of Yokohama without paying attention to his surroundings.
He couldn't feel much. In fact, he couldn't feel anything which was always the occasion. Yet the stinging pain in his chest was similar to the pain he would get everytime he attempted to end his suffering. On one hand, it was weird because the moment he raised his head the only thing he saw was the huge ferris wheel. A small event for young children to have fun had been built near the establishment; slides, an arcade, stalls selling cotton candy and a playhouse. On the other hand, he felt at ease when looking at the entire event and that scared him a little.
He let the stinging pain in his chest lead him through the crowd, hoping it would stop hurting. But the pain only grew stonger and that was when Dazai was forced to stop; in front of the playhouse.
No kids were playing there which was odd considering it was near the ferris wheel. Surely they had seen it. Soon he understood why no one wanted to even go near it. Creepy circus music could be clearly heard from the inside of the small house, like the ones people often associate with clowns.
"You've been staring at it for quite some time."
A smirk found its place on his face and Dazai sighed before turning his head a little to the left. The picture Fukuzawa had showed them of you, hadn't done you justice, you were far more beautful in person.
"You have been standing here longer than I have, darling."
"Fair enough."
He can't remember what happened after. His memory is still quite foggy but he is sure of one thing.
"You want me to nullify your ability?" You chuckled, an eyebrow raised in question. "Why?"
"Because perhaps you may have answers to some of my questions."
"Very well."
Oh he still can remember how easily you agreed. You didn't even ask him further questions. He just reached out his hand and you activated your ability and used his ability.
Oh how much joy does that memory bring him! He feels in peace. He will never forget it; you are his liberty. For those mere seconds of you using your ability he felt human. Maybe for the first time in his life, he doesn't know.
He is sure that he will celebrate the day you changed his history of life and death. But he knows life and death always lead into love and regret. That's what you also told him.
Did you?
He can't remember much of that day. In fact he can't remember anything. Maybe because the effect the alcohol had on him finally began to wear off, maybe because that meeting between him and you never actually happened.
Or maybe because you only existed in his imagination.
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jakeysfallingsky · 1 year
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Among the Wildflowers - Chapter 6 - Jake Kiszka x Reader
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Here is Chapter 6! Thank you for your patience :) I hope you're loving this story with sweet Jake as much as I'm enjoying writing it!
18+ Content - Minors, do not interact.
Summary: You're a hairstylist in Nashville, and the boys in Greta Van Fleet become your clients when they relocate to the city. They quickly all take a liking to you, one sweet guitarist especially. Jake is patient in his pursuit of you, but will your self-created set of rules hold you back from ever being anything more with him?
Word Count: 8k+
Warnings: 18+ content - angst, anxiety, oral sex (f. receiving)
After waiting until Jake and the rest of the band were completely out of sight, you went back into Jake’s house, watering his plants and tidying up before heading back to your own house to do your own weekend chores. A slight pang echoed through your chest as you were folding your laundry and saw one of Jake’s button-down shirts in the pile of clean clothes. It was his soft maroon one, the shirt he wore on your first date. You folded it and sighed before unfolding it and putting it on over your tank top. It was oversized and cozy and warm, and while it was nothing like Jake holding you in his arms, it brought a small smile to your face. 
Meanwhile, on the bus, Jake and his brothers had started to unpack and get settled while en route to their first city. Jake had set his bedding up and pulled out the picture of his family he always kept taped to the side of his tiny space while on tour. He put a fresh piece of tape on the back of the photograph and gently pressed it into place on the wall near his pillow. Jake had a new photo for his bunk this time around as well. He carefully slid the picture of you and him that he printed out a couple days prior from his backpack and smiled softly as he looked down at the photograph. 
It was a selfie he took of the two of you the previous weekend, you had taken a walk to the park near his house together and sat on a bench to enjoy the warm sunshine. You had your lips pressed to Jake’s cheek and your arms wrapped around his shoulders with your eyes closed, and he had his free hand wrapped around one of your wrists with a happy grin as he looked into the phone camera, a rare occasion where all of his teeth were showing when posing. It was a true Jake smile, not one where he was trying to hold anything back or uphold his mysterious rockstar persona. Jake knew that you helped bring out the best, most authentic version of himself and he smiled down at the picture as he was lost deep in thought, a twinge of regret tugging at his heartstrings as he remembered that he left without telling you that he loved you. 
It wasn’t the right time. She would understand. She always understands. 
Josh approached Jake, putting his hand on his shoulder. Jake jumped a little, being pulled out of his thoughts and returning to reality quickly. 
Josh leaned over to see what Jake was holding. “New bunk decoration? Must be serious.” Josh said, half-teasing. He knew Jake had been more than serious about you since before you even went on your first date. 
Jake smiled softly, still looking at the picture in his hands. “Yeah. We made it official last night.” He said quietly, finally turning to look his twin in the eye. 
Josh whooped loudly and pulled Jake in for a hug. “Good work, Jacob. I’m thrilled for you both. Now tell me, how did it happen?”
Jake immediately flushed a deep red, remembering the circumstances in which he asked, or desperately demanded so he didn’t fall apart and break down into a million tiny pieces on his couch, rather. “Um-um, well she came over last night and, um, we were talking and then we, uh- we were not really talking but-” Jake stammers as he scratches his head awkwardly and Josh throws his head back, laughing heartily. “Say no more, I think I put the pieces together. When is it okay to start calling her my sister-in-law?” Josh asked in a teasing tone. 
Jake shoved his brother’s shoulder with an embarrassed grin, not saying a word. Josh chuckled to himself as he walked away towards the front of the bus. Jake carefully taped the photograph of you both next to the one of his family and closed his bunk curtain, satisfied that he was all set up. He followed in Josh’s direction, figuring that he should probably share the good news with the rest of the people on the bus before Josh did it for him. 
I hope Josh can call her that one day. I really hope so. 
You finished your weekend chores and meal prep and had finally flopped on your couch when you checked your phone for the first time since the early afternoon. You giggled, seeing congratulatory texts from Josh, Sam, and Danny about you and Jake finally cementing your relationship status. The most recent text you received was from Jake, and it put a smile on your face. 
Jake: Missing you already, my sweet girl. Started missing you as soon as I had to walk away. I know you’re worrying about me like I’m worrying about you, but it’s all good over here. We’re already having some fun. Would be more fun with you squeezed in my tiny bunk with me, but 21 days will go by fast. Hope you’ve had a good day baby.  Me: I miss you already too. You would be proud, I had to meal prep for the week on my own. You’ve been spoiling me so much that I’ve almost forgotten how to use my oven (not that I’m complaining) :)  Me: I’m going to hug you so fucking hard in 21 days.  Jake: I’m so proud of you.  Jake: I’m going to squeeze the shit out of you. Plan on taking your clothes off promptly after as well.  Me: You’re so charming. Goodnight and sweet dreams, baby. Jake: Goodnight sweetheart. Missing you sleeping with me already. Sweet dreams. 
You read his last message and sighed, missing him in your bed as well. Turning the lights off after setting your phone aside, you slowly drift off into a dreamless sleep. 
A couple days had passed since Jake left, and you were in the groove of your workweek. It was the day of their first show, and you knew Jake was very excited but a little anxious as well. He was in a different time zone, with you now being two hours ahead.
On your drive home, the screen in your car lit up with an incoming call from Jake. “Hi Jake!” You said enthusiastically, happy to be on the phone with him. “Hey baby,” Jake said, with a lot less enthusiasm, “do you have a minute?”
“Of course I do, what’s wrong?” You ask, immediately worried for him. It’s the day of the first show of this short tour, you were hoping he would be excited. Jake takes a deep breath and you can hear him shuffling around, presumably in his bunk.
“We just finished soundcheck and everything was fucked up. We all sounded like shit because nothing was working. Couldn’t hear Sammy at all, Danny’s kit was way too loud, Josh’s microphones were going in and out and we tried a few, and I was going in and out too. We can’t put on a show like this, not when we are opening for fucking Metallica.” Jake rushed through his words, a clear sign that he was stressed. 
“Take a deep breath for me Jake, it’s going to be okay. That’s why you guys do a soundcheck, to work out all of the issues. Your crew is great. They’ll take care of you guys. It’s going to be okay.” You spoke slowly and sweetly, hoping your words were helping. It was hard not being able to see him and read his body language. Jake didn’t respond with words at first, he took a few deep breaths and tried to steady his wavering voice and breathing.
“I just…I just really wish you were here with me right now.” Jake said in a small voice, sounding completely defeated.
“Oh baby, I wish I was there with you too. So badly. But you’re going to put on a great show like you always do, I am so sure of it.” Your heart ached for your sweet boyfriend, knowing how physical touch soothed him. It was hard hearing him so anxious and dejected on the phone and only being able to offer your words.
Voices started popping up in the background and you could hear them calling for Jake. “I think I have to go sweetheart, I think we will get off stage around 11:00 your time, is that too late to call?” He sounded so sad as he spoke, and your heart continued to rip into pieces. 
It absolutely was too late for you when you had to work the next day, but you didn’t care. “Not for you, please call me when you can. I’ll be asleep but will keep my phone volume turned up. I can’t wait to hear all about how great your set went.” You assured him, and even though you couldn’t see it, a small smile graced his lips. He fully knew it was going to be past your bedtime as well and despite it being a small gesture, it made butterflies fill his stomach, knowing how much you cared for him and what you were willing to do to show him that.
“Are you… are you going to watch us at all? On a livestream or something?” Jake asked quietly. You could hear the small sliver of hope in his voice. He didn’t want to say it, but Jake was hoping you would be watching somehow, knowing that it would comfort him a little bit. His music and you are his two loves, and he desperately wanted you to be a part of every piece of himself.
A small smile crossed your face. “Yeah Jake, I’ll try to watch for a little bit before going to bed.”
Jake’s small smile matched yours, many hundreds of miles apart. “That makes me happy. Thank you baby, I’ll call you in a few hours,” Jake said softly, “have a good night.”
“Bye Jake, break a leg.” You told him sweetly and he chuckled before ending the call.
You ate dinner, showered, and climbed into bed, leaving your phone volume turned all the way up, knowing that it would wake you up when Jake called. Feeling absolutely drained and exhausted, you started scrolling on different social medias, trying to figure out where you could find a livestream from a fan. You saw a couple accounts to bookmark, and groaned as you checked the time. Still over an hour left before the boys would hit the stage. Sitting up, you drank some ice water and pinched your cheeks, trying to perk up a little bit. It was no use, and sleep quickly overcame you, a good amount of time before the set started.
It was well after midnight when your phone started ringing, and you rolled over with a groan before flipping on the light near your bed and answering Jake’s FaceTime call. His grinning face immediately lit up your screen, his cheeks flushed a rosy pink from alcohol.
“Hi baby, it’s not too late is it?” Jake asked with a slight giggle. He was clearly quite intoxicated and was sitting on the green room couch, people drinking and wandering in the background. 
You smile softly, still hazy from sleep. “No, it’s okay Jake, how was it tonight?”
His grin somehow stretched even wider. “We had so much fun baby, it ended up being soooo good.” He paused to take a sip of his beer. “The crowd was good, I think we played good, I know I definitely looked good,” he giggled, “it was a perfect first show. Did you like my suit?”
“Oh, I’m so glad to hear Jake, I can’t wait to go find pictures and videos of your set tomorrow.” You replied, missing his question at the end and in your foggy sleepy state, forgetting your earlier promise to stay up to watch him and his brothers.
Jake’s face fell a little bit. “You-you didn’t watch us at all? You didn’t see me play?” He asks, clearly upset.
“Well, Jake, I tried but I accidentally fell asleep, I was so tired-” You started and he interrupted you before you could finish your thought. “It was the first one and I really wish you were here with me watching on the side but I thought you said you would watch on your phone.” He mumbled while rubbing his face, sadness seeping into his tone.
You sighed, knowing it was all of the emotions from the day and the alcohol talking, but still feeling guilt creep its way into your chest. You truly did feel bad that you fell asleep, missing it all. “I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry. I really wanted to see you, I tried. I’m just so exhausted.” 
Jake fidgeted with his necklace anxiously as you spoke. “Will you watch the next one? For me?” His brown eyes were full of worry. He needed to know that you were out there watching him somehow, needing to feel your presence in some way during this time of physical distance.
You smiled sadly before speaking quietly. “Yeah Jake, I’ll watch you.” 
He gave you a small smile in return that didn’t reach his eyes. “I miss you. A lot.” He whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder, you’d hear his voice shaking.
“Oh baby, I miss you too. Only two and a half weeks left to go. I took a couple days off of work too, so we can have more than just the weekend together when you’re back.” You tell him, pleased to see his tipsy smile grow into something genuine. 
“Good, because I’m not letting go of you for dayssss.” He giggled, drawing out the last word dramatically. You yawned loudly after chuckling with him. “Go to bed baby, I’ll call you tomorrow.” Jake said, remembering in his inebriated state that you had work to worry about.
“Goodnight rockstar, sweet dreams.” You said sleepily, eyes beginning to droop as you gave Jake a lazy smile.
He wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms as you drifted off to sleep, kissing your forehead and whispering sweet words into your hair. But he was on a sticky couch several drinks deep on the other side of the country, wishing so badly that his love, his inspiration, was with him.
“Goodnight sweetheart, I-I.. hope you dream of me tonight.” He said, almost letting those three words slip. 
You didn’t even notice, nearly asleep as you blew Jake a kiss and promptly ended the call.
Jake dropped his phone to the couch, running a hand over his face. He was relieved he didn’t tell you that he loved you for the first time over the phone when you were half-awake and he was half-drunk, but he was aching to be in your presence again. 
He wanted to be home, with you.
Another several days passed and the next couple shows went off without a hitch. In fact, they were fantastic. You were able to catch the first song or two of each set, unable to keep the grin off of your face or the feelings of pride and joy at bay, seeing Jake in his element. You missed him and wanted to be with him, but knew it just wasn’t feasible this time around. The reality was, it probably wouldn’t ever be feasible for you to join him on any tour at any point, considering your job was commission-based. You tried to keep the feelings stored in the back of your brain, but you felt a sinking sense of dread every time you remembered that this was going to be the shortest tour he would go on for awhile, and he was going to be away from home for many months mere weeks after returning from the Metallica tour. 
Despite making Jake promise to keep open lines of communication with you about his emotions and state of mind while he was away, you couldn’t find it in yourself to talk to him about your anxiety. He could tell something was off when he talked with you on the phone or on FaceTime, and it was worrying him. You always answered his texts and calls, but it was almost like you were off on another planet when talking to him.
It was a week before he was going to return home when Jake couldn’t take it anymore. 
Jake: Can we FaceTime?
A heavy sigh left your lips, seeing his text come through. You missed him like crazy, to the point where you felt physical pain in your chest, but talking to him was bringing you equal amounts of relief and stress. Your fingers hovered over your phone before typing back.
Me: Is later okay? I’m in the middle of something. Jake: Please baby. Just for a couple minutes. Jake: I miss you.
You couldn’t deny him. Tapping the FaceTime button, you took a deep breath as your phone rang.
Jake was laying on his stomach in his bunk, his face immediately lighting up once he saw you. “Hi beautiful, I’m sorry to bother you. I just… I just really miss you and wanted to talk for a minute.” He finished shyly.
He was so sweet and you missed him so terribly and it was so hard when he wasn’t here. You didn’t mean for it to happen, but your eyes filled with tears upon seeing him but knowing he was so far away. “Baby, I-I miss you too. A lot. I’m having a hard time.”
Jake’s face immediately fell, seeing the first tears slide down your face. It caused him physical pain to see you upset when he couldn’t be there to comfort you. Deep down, he felt guilty, knowing that him being away was the source of your pain as well. “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. Just one more week. One more week baby.” He tried to reassure you.
You nodded and wiped your eyes. “I know. I’m sorry.” You told him, not able to look at your phone. Jake rubbed his hand over his mouth, watching you and silently cursing his inability to wrap you in his arms and hold you tightly. “Don’t say sorry, you have nothing to apologize for. This isn’t easy and it’s our first time.” He replies, willing himself to stay strong while he’s on the call with you, despite the emotions quickly rising in his throat.
“But I do need to apologize, I haven’t been telling you about how I’ve been feeling,” you mumble, frustrated with yourself, “I…I’m really having a hard time. I know I’ve been distant over the last week or so. It feels silly, we haven’t been together long and this wasn’t even a long stretch of time to be apart but… I just wish you were here so badly so we could sit on the couch and go for walks and spend time with each other. I just miss you, Jake, so much.”
“I know sweetheart, you might not have said it out loud but I’ve felt it. It’s okay. We’re just trying to figure everything out, and we’re doing it together, remember? I miss you, I miss you so much baby that it’s hard for me to sleep at night, but we’re back together so soon. It’s just around the corner, I promise.” Jake’s voice was starting to crack, his desperation and longing peeking through. 
You took a shaky breath. “I know, but part of what’s making this so hard is… is knowing you’re going to be gone again soon. For a much longer time. I can’t think about it without crying.” You finished with a dry, humorless chuckle. 
Jake could feel his heart splitting in two and his anxiety rising, hearing your words. He could see some of his worst fears coming true, and it terrified him. “But it’s going to be okay, we are going to be okay. I promise baby, you can come visit me for a few days or I can come home when we have a couple days off, we will still talk all the time, we are going to figure this out when I’m home, I don’t want you to worry right now. Please baby, trust me when I tell you it’s all going to be okay.” Jake pleaded, becoming more and more desperate. She needs to know I love her.
Another shaky breath escaped your lips as you tried to calm yourself down. “I know. Everything’s okay. We’re okay. I just need you here, Jake.” You said softly, trying to keep your anxiety at bay. You didn’t want to upset him and you could tell he was getting worked up. It was an endless cycle of anxiety and sadness and guilt being passed between the both of you.
“I need you too baby, I need you more than you know. We’re almost there, and then I’m going to be so stuck on you once I’m home, you have no idea.” Jake said softly, trying to muster up a small smile and managing for his lips to curl up a tiny bit. “Just please keep talking to me, okay?”
You sniffled, the tears finally stopping. “I don’t want to make you feel bad if I feel like this-”
“No,” Jake said firmly, “I don’t want you to keep this to yourself because you’re worried about me. We’re in this together, I can’t help you if you don’t let me know what’s going on, baby.” Jake paused, taking a moment to look at you before continuing. “I need you to understand that the way I feel about you is like nothing else I’ve ever experienced before. It’s not something that is going to fade away. In fact, with each passing day, the… the way I feel about you grows stronger. I’m going to care for you and take care of you in every way, if you let me, sweetheart. You aren’t ever alone with me.”
Your eyes glossed over, knowing that he was speaking the truth. “Thank you Jake. I want to do all those things for you too.” You sniffled again. “It’s all okay. We’re okay.” You mumbled.
Jake nodded. “So soon. So soon, baby.” He whispered. You managed to let the tiniest of smiles grace your lips. “This week needs to fly by.” You said quietly. “It will.” Jake said, just as quietly in return. “Are you okay?”
You nodded. “I promise. I do need to head out though. Bye baby, talk to you soon.”
Jake gave you a wistful smile. “Talk to you soon.” 
Jake rolled onto his side after the call ended, sighing as he looked at the picture of the two of you taped on the wall. His eyes became glassy as his feelings of guilt and worry started to become overwhelming. He curled up further into his blanket and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill over his eyelids.
If this wasn’t my life and my job, I would be home with her right now. If my life was normal, she wouldn’t have to feel like this. She didn’t want to be in a relationship like this and I knew that and I kept pursuing her anyways. 
Jake brushed the hair that fell into his eyes out of his face and anxiously fumbled with his pockets, pulling his wallet out. He carefully took the note that you had left for him on the nightstand weeks ago out and held it gently in his fingers. His eyes raked over your handwriting and the tiny heart you drew for him, desperately chasing the feeling of being closer to you. After a few minutes, he folded the note back up, and a waft of your perfume hit him as he did so. The tears that he had worked so hard to keep at bay finally spilled over and with shaky hands and blurry vision, Jake tucked the note back into his wallet for safekeeping. His eyes fell upon the photo of you two again, and he brushed his fingers softly over your face, hoping that you could feel his loving touch from hundreds of miles away.
It’s going to be okay. It has to be.
The next couple days were better, mainly because you were willing yourself to ignore the ugly anxiety monster constantly lurking in the deep depths of your brain. You perked up a little bit, and Jake was incredibly relieved. He just wanted you to be okay. The final shows were just as exhilarating as the ones prior, and you loved tuning in for a couple songs each night, seeing Jake live out his dream in real time.
After a few more days at work, what you were waiting for was finally here. It was Saturday, the boys were en route back to Nashville, and Jake would be home in the afternoon. You barely slept the night before, too excited to be reunited with him.
Jake had been texting you updates incessantly all day just to be funny, but also because he was bursting at the seams with excitement to be reunited with you.
Jake: 4 hours. Jake: 3.75 hours. Jake: Wait no, 4 hours again. We needed to stop for snacks. Jake: 3.75 hours.  Me: Drive faster. Jake: If only I could make it happen, baby. Counting down the minutes. 
You were watching Jake’s location as it got closer and closer, and drove over to his house about a half hour before he was going to get home. Pizza was on the counter, his favorite IPA’s were in the fridge, and you had made from-scratch brownies to satisfy his sweet tooth.
You were nearly shaking with anticipation as you saw that they were around the corner. Dressed in Jake’s maroon button-down shirt, you stood on his porch with the biggest smile on your face as you saw the bus come around the corner. They parked on the side of the street and the door opened, you flew down Jake’s driveway and right into his arms.
Jake held you to him in the tightest embrace he possibly could, with one hand tangled in your hair and the other arm wrapped around your back. You squeezed him back, hardly believing that he was here, in your arms.
“Hi baby, oh I missed you so, so much.” Jake whispered into your ear. His voice was like velvet, sending shivers down your spine. You missed him so much too.
Unwilling to pull back from your embrace, you tilted your head to kiss his neck. “I missed you more, my rockstar.” You grinned as you felt him take a deep breath to steady himself. You finally both pulled back, only for Jake to grab your face with both of his hands and kiss you deeply. Your lips immediately molded together, like puzzle pieces being put into place. It was if you had never been apart.
You hadn’t even noticed the other boys grabbing Jake’s stuff and carrying it to the porch. They stood behind you, grinning. “Do we get hugs too, or just your boyfriend?” Sammy asked as he tugged you away from Jake and swept you into his arms. You laughed, hugging Josh and Danny as well. “I missed you guys too, but not as much as this one.” You turned back to Jake, tugging on his arm and wrapping an arm of your own around his waist. He placed his arm around your shoulders and smiled wide as he kissed the side of your head.
“We will catch up soon, maybe get a drink or dinner together tomorrow or something. We know Jake’s been dying to see you, so we will get out of your hair.” Josh smirked and you blushed, saying your goodbyes to Jake’s brothers.
Once they were back on the bus and pulling away, Jake laced your fingers together and nearly dragged you towards his house. He quickly shoved his belongings just inside the door and tugged on your arm, pulling you into his chest and smoothly slamming the front door shut. His lips were immediately on yours, your fingers tangled in his hair, and his hands started caressing your ass without a second thought.
“Oh my god, you have no idea how badly I missed you,” Jake nearly growled in between kisses. You giggled and he loved the feeling of your smile against his lips, wishing he could replay this moment over and over. 
“You must be hungry, there’s pizza in the kitchen.” You spoke into Jake’s lips, seeing as he was unwilling to stop kissing you for even a second.
“Mmm, I’m hungry, I don’t think for pizza though.” Jake finally pulled back and winked at you. Playfully rolling your eyes, you laced your fingers with his and pulled him into the kitchen. 
Caught up in the moment, it was only then that Jake noticed you were wearing his shirt. You frequently wore his shirts to bed, but this was different. He came up behind you as you were grabbing plates and gently placed his hands on your hips, kissing your hair and keeping his lips close.
“You’re wearing my shirt?” He asked softly, butterflies threatening to burst out of his chest. You turned around in his arms and smiled sweetly, bringing one hand to gently brush your fingers along his jawline.
“I wore this all the time while you were gone. I liked having a piece of you with me.” You replied just as softly. His soft brown eyes crinkled at the edges as he smiled his big, toothy Jake smile. Oh, I’m so in love with you.
“I think you should keep it. Looks better on you, beautiful.” He planted his lips on yours before pulling away and reaching around you to grab the plates.
The two of you ate dinner on the couch, because sitting at his kitchen table meant that you couldn’t be nearly sitting in his lap. Once your stomachs were full of carbs and beer, you looked over at Jake and noticed he was fighting to stay awake.
“You must be so exhausted, honey.” You murmured, running your fingers through his hair. He nodded and gave you a small smile. “I’m sorry baby, I want to stay up and spend more time with you, but I’m running on fumes.” He admitted, feeling bad about not being able to express his love for you in the physical way that both of your bodies were crying out desperately for.
You kissed his forehead and held him close. “Don’t apologize, I am just so happy that you’re home. Let’s get ready for bed and just cuddle.” Jake smiled at you in appreciation for your understanding, and he allowed you to lead him upstairs into the bathroom.
Jake nudged your shoulder as you got ready for bed together. “I missed our nighttime routine.” He grinned as he stood next to you at the sink, holding his toothbrush out for you to squeeze toothpaste on it. You obliged and you both started brushing your teeth together. “I missed it too.” You managed to get out with a mouthful of toothpaste and spit and Jake laughed. You ran your thumb along the corner of his lips, catching the last bit of toothpaste he missed.
Jake stopped what he was doing and watched as you changed into another one of his shirts and a cute pair of black lace panties for bed. You grabbed your brush and started working it through your long curls, scrunching your nose up at all of the tangles. You finally notice Jake’s eyes on you, and he’s looking at you in that one particular way that makes you feel fuzzy and your stomach flutters. “What?” You ask him and he just smiles. “Nothing.” He answers fondly, the smile not leaving his face. You walked over to him and started to run your brush through his hair too, knowing that he surely wouldn’t be brushing it before bed on his own accord. 
“I’m so glad you’re home, Jake.” You say quietly as you finish brushing his hair. His arms wrap around you and he holds you close to him, his face buried in your neck. “You have no idea how happy I am to be home with you.” He mumbles into your neck. It wouldn’t be home without you here.
He lets go of you, gently takes the brush out of your hand and sets it on the bathroom counter, and with a playful glint in his eye and smirk on his lips, he quickly places an arm along the back of your knees and scoops you up, walking towards his bedroom. Your loud giggles intertwine together and don’t stop as he carries you and plops you on his bed, immediately pressing kisses all over your face and hair.
You playfully shove Jake off of you and he rolls onto his side, facing you with that damn look in his eyes again. You lean over to press a kiss to his lips and run your fingers through his hair. “Come here.” You whisper and Jake quickly snuggles up to you. “I had to do this with Danny for three weeks. Just wasn’t the same.” Jake sleepily jokes as he gets cozy and you chuckle. “Goodnight sweetheart.” Jake whispers and you wish him goodnight in return.
You held Jake in your arms as he quickly fell asleep. His head was on your chest with one of his legs thrown over your waist, his arm wrapped snugly around you. Softly kissing his forehead, you wished him sweet dreams, knowing that yours surely would be now that he was home with you. The anxiety of him leaving again for a longer stretch of time was looming over you, but for now, you just wanted to be in the moment and soak up all of the time you could with him at home.
In a rare turn of events, Jake woke up before you did. You were cuddled into his chest with your lips slightly parted, and Jake could feel the little puffs of your breath hitting his exposed skin. The sunlight was starting to come through the windows and it illuminated your face in a breathtaking way. Jake thought you had never looked more beautiful than this moment, peacefully asleep in his arms.
He kissed your hair and slowly rolled you off of him so he could get out of bed. He came back from the bathroom to see you stirring and looking at him with a sleepy smile. 
“Good morning honey,” he says as he slips back in next to you. You pull him into your chest and he gets cozy like he did the night before. “Hi Jake,” you say and you start to run your fingers through his hair, “how’d you sleep?”
“Like a baby, thank God I’m home with you.” He replies into your chest.
You chuckle. “Yeah, I think I sleep better with you too.” Jake nuzzles further into you and a contented sigh leaves his lips as his fingers trace over your soft skin. 
You slowly wake up and get ready for the day, and the large number of sweet touches and kisses shared didn’t help your speed. Jake moves just as slow as you and you both trudge downstairs to remember that there’s no breakfast food, or any food really, in his house.
“I’ll drive us to my place, I’ll make something,” you yawn. Jake agrees and you’re standing in your kitchen within minutes, putting breakfast together. Before long, the two of you are munching on cinnamon sugar toast and fruit, per the request of Jake’s sweet tooth.
After eating and cleaning up, you put your feet in Jake’s lap on the couch. “What’s on our agenda for today, rockstar?” You ask with a yawn, somehow already tired again.
He shrugs. “I honestly just want to do nothing and lay around with you, if that’s okay. I’m still feeling exhausted.” 
You nod, knowing that he hasn’t had a moment to himself or space to breathe in several weeks. “That sounds perfect. Let me go grab some pillows from my bed.”
You pass your bathroom on the way to grab pillows and notice you left your shears on the counter when you trimmed your layers the day before. It reminded you that Jake was due for a trim, it had been two months since you chopped his hair short. It was growing out nicely, but you wanted to keep giving him regular trims so it didn’t become damaged and dry like before.
You grabbed your clips, comb, spray bottle, and the cape from your closet and put everything on your vanity. 
“Jake, come up here!” You yelled and you heard him stir with a groan and come up the stairs. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom with an eyebrow raised and you pointed to the vanity stool.
“You need a haircut, I can trim it up for you real quick before we get comfy.”
Jake stared at you. “You just cut all of my hair off.”
You smiled. “I cut your hair two months ago, we have to keep trimming it or you’ll have split ends and damage again. You’ll be more comfy here than at the salon anyway, I know it’s not your favorite place to go.” 
Jake pondered that for a second and realized you were right on all fronts. He sat down in defeat and huffed dramatically as you threw the cape around his neck. You combed his shoulder length waves out, his hair no longer hovering at his shoulders but over a good inch longer. 
Spraying his hair so it was wet, you posed a question to him. “Do you want me to just take off the very ends, or cut it like we did before?”
Jake looked at himself in the mirror. He really did like his short hair and didn’t feel particularly attached to the idea of growing it long again anytime soon. “What would you do?” He asks, glancing up at you. His answer showed how much he trusted you, considering how much he hated cutting his hair. 
You hummed, needing to visualize it. You expected him to tell you to just dust the ends. You pushed his hair to be in front of his shoulders and gripped some hair in between your index and middle fingers on both hands. You slid down to where you’d like to cut his hair, about an inch and a half from the ends. Definitely a touch shorter than before, you thought that having his hair barely clear his shoulders completely instead of just brushing them would be cute, but still well below his chin. Not too drastic, but a small change. 
“Maybe like this, just a little bit shorter than before, and refresh all of your layers and face frame too? What do you think?” 
He nods slowly with a timid smile. “You’re the expert.” 
“You sure baby?” You ask, always wanting his permission.
He nods, more confident now. “I’m sure. I like my short hair. Never thought I’d say that.” He chuckles.
“I love short hair on you, I think it suits you so well.” You tell him as you comb his hair again and secure the sides up on top of his head. You leave a small section down in the back and pin the rest, then tilt his head down. 
Jake feels scissors slide across the bottom of his neck for the first time in his life and he shivers as you make the first snips. A small pile forms on the ground as you comb and cut the back of his hair. You both are quiet as you work, the room filling with the soft sounds of your scissors closing around his tresses. 
“Your hair is so gorgeous, Jake.” You murmur as you perfect the back. He smiles as he watches you cut his hair in the mirror.
“Only because you make it look good,” he cheekily replies.
You smile as you unclip the sides. His hair is being cut just a little too short for you to comb it to the back to cut, so you come to his left side and begin cutting his hair to match the back. Pieces of Jake’s hair rain down into his lap and he picks one up and pinches it between his fingers. 
“Two actual haircuts in two months, what’s my prize for being so brave?” He asks teasingly. 
You snort, continuing to comb and snip his hair. “Your prize is looking cute.”
He laughs. “I like you a lot.” I love you, actually. 
“I like you a lot too, Jacob.” You finish the left and right sides and trim all of his short layers and comb out his face frame. You snip the front pieces of his hair, smiling as you see the finished product. 
He’s left with a shaggy bob just barely above his shoulders with lots of layers again. “Straight or wavy?” You ask him.
He furrows his eyebrows, seriously weighing his options. He turns to you and tugs on a piece of your hair gently, your curls from the day before hanging on by a thread. “Can you do it like yours?” He asked shyly. Your heart leapt at his question. He was too precious. 
“You want me to curl it for you, baby?” You ask him with a smile. He nods shyly and gives you a tiny smile back. 
“Of course I can, I’ll blow dry it first though.” Carefully taking the cape off of him so as not to get his hair everywhere, you walked to your trash and emptied it. His hair was everywhere on the ground too, so you swept it up as well. You grabbed your hairdryer and heat protectant spray and quickly dried his damp hair. “Be right back,” you told him with a kiss on the cheek as you went to hunt for your smallest curling iron. 
You brought it back with you and plugged it in. While it was heating up, you sectioned his hair. Curl after curl was wound through the hot tool, and you were loving how it was turning out.
“This is looking so good, Jake,” you say as you focus in on one of his curls. He smiles at you in the mirror, watching you work. “I thought it would be fun to match you.” He says cutely.
You love him. You love him and you know it. You want to say those three words so badly to him, but don’t. It doesn’t feel like the right moment to you, even though you know Jake wouldn’t care.
“Yeah, matching is fun.” You say instead, a twinge of regret pushing its way into your stomach, but Jake’s still smiling at you with pure adoration in his eyes.
You finish curling his hair and rake your fingers through his curls to loosen them. He looks so beautiful and delicate with his hair framing his face softly. 
“What do you think?” You ask him and he runs his fingers through his trimmed hair and grins, looking up at you. “I love it, thank you baby.”
Coming around to his front, you straddle his lap and put your arms around his neck, his hair tickling you. His hands fly to your hips, keeping you in place close to him. His fingertips dance under the hem of your shirt and start to make soft circles on your skin. 
You lean in close to his neck and start to plant soft kisses, working up to the spot you know he loves, just under his ear. Jake fights it, but his lips part involuntarily and a small whine comes from the back of his throat at the feeling. 
“You’re so pretty, Jake.” you whisper in between kisses. “So pretty.” You finish with a small bite to his collarbone and you feel him growing underneath you. He feels downright delicious, and you can’t help but roll your hips slowly and he moans. 
“Jesus baby, not in your bathroom.” Jake mumbles desperately. He puts his hands on the back of your upper thighs and stands up, carrying you to your bedroom. He lays you back on the bed and starts attacking you with his lips while taking your pants and underwear off, going lower and lower until he’s kissing and licking and biting your thighs. He takes a brief pause to rip his shirt off and haphazardly tosses it to the side of your room. 
You’re out of breath with anticipation for what’s about to happen but can’t help your bratty streak from making an appearance. “I just fucking did your hair and you’re going to mess it up.” You say in a strangled tone as he resumes kissing close to your center.
Jake’s tongue circles your clit in response and you arch your back and moan. “Fix it later.” He says lowly, lips brushing your center, before fully diving in. His tongue is expertly working along your folds and clit and just like how he does everything in his life with unbridled passion and intention, he’s eating you out as if his life depended on it. 
You can’t help your soft whines and heavy breathing and you grip his hair with both of your hands. He pauses for a brief moment and looks up at you with a mischievous smile. “Don’t mess up my hair.” He teases in a deadpan tone. You would absolutely give him some snark back had he not immediately resumed his ruthless licking and sucking in between your legs. You respond with an involuntary moan instead and it takes everything that Jake has to keep his composure and not giggle while he’s working you quickly to an earth-shattering orgasm. 
Jake is absolutely ruthless and showing you no mercy with his lips and tongue, very clearly trying to make up for lost time when he was on the road. Sweat is starting to bead on his forehead from all of the effort he’s exerting, and his chest is heaving as breathing becomes more and more difficult.
“Come on baby, you’re doing so good for me,” he breathes into you, squeezing his arms as they’re wrapped around your thighs, “perfect angel, need you to cum for me, please baby.” Jake’s voice was teetering on a whine, desperate for you to find your release at the work of his tongue.
A final stroke of his tongue sends you into space and your eyes roll back into your head as you finish and ride out the seemingly endless waves of pleasure. Jake happily accepts what you have to give with his tongue and he gently kisses the insides of both of your thighs before placing a kiss to your stomach. As much as he would love to keep going, his energy levels are still depleted and he can feel that you’re tired, too.
He leaves the room to quickly brush his teeth and get washcloths to clean you up. Jake laughs, seeing his reflection in the mirror. His hair that you had so carefully curled is wild and messy, forming a halo around his head. Jake does his best to tame his curls, but quickly realizes it’s a lost battle. He walks back to your bedroom with the two washcloths he grabbed. He gently wipes the sweat off of your forehead and then his before taking the second one to clean you up. He tosses them into your laundry basket and rifles through your dresser until he finds your favorite sweatpants and an old t-shirt of his that is now yours. He turns and sees that you’re laying down still with a sleepy, worn out smile. 
“Can you sit up for me, sweetheart?” Jake asks as he carefully guides you up so he can slide his shirt onto you. He helps you slide the sweats on as well.
Jake joins you in bed and pulls you into his bare chest, knowing a late-morning nap is now imminent. Your hand that was resting on his hip is now in his grasp, and he softly intertwines your fingers and puts your joined hands on his chest. Your breathing quickly evens out and Jake smiles, knowing there is no place he would rather be than here with you. He plants three soft kisses on your forehead, nose, and lips wordlessly, hoping that somehow, the silent message that he desperately wants to say out loud but can’t muster up the courage for is delivered to you while you’re asleep.
I. Love. You.
TAGLIST: @reesetrippingthelight @spark-my-nature @katelynn-gvf @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @jakesbarbarian
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buckysgrace · 1 year
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Forty Two
Kim didn’t even have the chance to confront Billy that night. She had practiced it, rehearsing the lines in the shower and in the mirror as her heartbeat anxiously for the sight of his return. Every second just made her angrier as she realized he had left without a word and was most likely out partying as the hours ticked by. His absence didn't go unnoticed by Neil, who seemed to be growing even more furious the longer he was back home. She had a feeling their vacation hadn't worked out like Susan had been hoping. It was fairly obvious that Neil had no plans of changing.
She had waited until everyone was asleep to creep to the phone. She was hesitant but called her father all the same. She needed to know, to hear from his voice that he hadn't received anything from her. Not that it got very far. As unusual, her father seemed to miss her phone call again. That, or he had taken to ignoring her completely now that he hadn't received any money. It scared her, thinking that her relationship with her father was completely gone. 
Billy confirmed her suspicions about being out partying when she heard him dragging himself into the house in the early hours of the morning, reeking of alcohol and smoke. She felt anger brewing in her chest when she waited for him to open her door, then, she was even more angry when he never did that. Despite being so tired, she stayed awake to stare up at her ceiling. She was so mad at him that she had kicked her stuffed animals off of her bed, letting them rest on the floor.
So, she practiced the next morning once she was dressed. She looked in the mirror, thinking of everything she was going to say to him once she saw him again. Not that he made it easy. He had locked himself in his room and as each second passed, the angrier she grew. It was irritating. She desperately wanted to find out why he would do that to her but it seemed like he had other plans. She wondered how long he had kept this from her and if he just expected her to never find out. She didn't understand him sometimes. 
“I’m off,” Susan kissed the side of Kim’s head as she nibbled on the pancakes she had made. Kim grumbled in response as she dug her fork into her fluffy pancakes, “Are you okay?” Susan questioned softly. Kim spared a glance at her mother.
“I’m fine.” Kim said shortly, not feeling like she was able to trust her mom with anything she said. She knew if she told Susan that her dad had asked for money she would freak out. Her parents hadn’t ended their marriage well and this would be another reason for her mom to hate on her father. Kim was still convinced he wasn’t a bad man.
“Hm,” Susan fluffed a hand through her hair softly, not sounding convinced, “Things will get better.” Kim looked up at her longer this time, noticing the tired lines under her eyes. It suddenly made Kim sad, realizing something was wrong.
“Will they?” Kim was uncertain as she watched a sad look pass through her mother’s hazel eyes. Susan kissed the top of her temple and Kim felt like she was a little girl again, wrapped up in her mother’s arms. She felt safe, like nothing was wrong. She thought that if she closed her eyes hard enough, she could still picture their tiny house with yellow, peeling walls. 
“We can only hope. I know they will for you and your sister. You’re both so smart and sweet. You won’t ever end up in a situation like me.” Susan promised and it made Kim sick to her stomach. She wondered if one day she would be grown, in a happy marriage, and thinking about all of the shitty things her mother had gone through. She wondered if her mother had thought the same thing, that one day she would be in a happy relationship with a kind man and escape the abuse that had come before her. 
“Mom,” Kim looked at her worried, “I’ll help you. We can figure something out. You don’t have to live like this.” Susan looked as if she was really lingering in her daughter’s words, but shook her head just as fast.
“I’m happy,” Kim listened to the strained tone in her voice as she tried to convince her eldest daughter. Kim thought that this must be part of the reason she had said that love didn’t exist. She was sure if she was in her mother’s shoes, she would think the same thing. She really would really want the best for her daughters too, “Oh, I got you an appointment for Wednesday. It’s at 9:15.” Susan turned quickly, picking up her purse from the counter. Kim watched, still feeling like she was the scared little girl who used to sleep on her mom’s side of the bed when she was scared. She lingered in her thoughts as she remembered her mom would be the one, she would go to when she was scared, not her father. 
“Thank you,” It was hard to swallow as Kim looked at her mom. Things still didn’t feel the same between them, but Kim wasn’t sure if she blamed her anymore. The way they were talking now reminded her of the other day and when they used to live in San Diego. Way before Neil. Kim realized that her words from the other day weren’t from her, but from Neil. It made her worried, thinking that Neil must have something terrible to dangle over her head, “I can make dinner tonight if you want.” Kim offered softly.
Susan took a hold of her keys and Kim tried not to think about how weird it was that Neil hadn’t taken her to work. She didn’t need something else to be upset about.
“Oh, that would be nice. Go have some fun today,” Susan smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “I’m really sorry about how things have been going between us.” Kim nodded her head stiffly; afraid she would cry if she said anything else. Susan walked out towards the living room, to the back staircase. Kim stared after her for a moment before she dumped the rest of her pancakes into the trash. She carried her plate to the sink, washing off the sticky syrup quickly as her mind wandered. 
She went to the phone again, picking it up and dialing her father’s number again. Her heart throbbed in her chest as she curved the phone to fit her face. This had been the fourth time she had called since this morning. He hadn’t answered yet and she wasn’t sure why she thought he might answer this time.
"Hello?" A woman's voice answered on the other end, just as Kim felt her heart sinking back into her stomach. She paused, her mind thinking a hundred different thoughts as she urged her tongue to move. She clutched the phone tightly to her ear.
"Hi," She breathed out quickly, unsure of who she was talking to, "Is Sam nearby?" Her heart was racing in her chest as she waited to hear her father's voice again. There was silence on the line for a second. 
"Yeah," The girl on the other end sighed dramatically like it was an inconvenience, "I'll go get him." Kim grew anxious as she rehearsed what she would end up saying to her father. As angry as she was at Billy, she didn't want to risk having it get around to her mom that he had messed with her money. She couldn't see Neil being very happy with that. 
"Hello?" Kim felt the tears welling in her ears as her father's warm voice traveled through the phone. She breathed deeply, trying to relax her breathing before she broke down into tears.
"Daddy, hey," She breathed out quickly, "How are you?" She held the phone tightly, as if she could will him to stay and talk to her. She glanced over her shoulder, wishing that Max was here to talk to him too. 
"Kim?" Sam sounded confused when he finally spoke up, "I'm doing pretty well. I didn't expect you to call." She lingered for a moment, blinking her eyes as she furrowed her eyebrows together. She wondered if she should mention how many times she had tried to call.
"Yeah, I missed you," She spoke softly, twirling the wire around her finger. She waited for him to say it back, but he never did. She spoke up again, "Hey, there was an issue with sending the money but I'm going to get it sent again. Sorry it took so long." She explained as vaguely as possible. 
"Oh, oh that's good," He suddenly sounded interested, "Things have been really hard over here." Kim nodded her head, listening to every syllable he said. She missed him so much.
"I know, I'm so sorry," She responded quickly, wanting to get as much of a conversation in as she could. She thought about her complicated feelings towards Billy and thought that her dad might be the one person to help untangle them for her, "I've tried to call. I've wrote too, but I don't know if it goes through." She tried to not sound as defeated as she felt. 
"I've gotten your letters," Sam spoke and she thought she could hear the smile in his voice, "You still have a knack for your silly stories." She paused for a moment, exhaling slowly.
"You've gotten my letters?" She repeated, waiting for his response.
"Of course, I love reading them. You're so bright, I knew you would be." His tone sounded happy but none of that mattered to her anymore. She felt like her heart was dangling loosely in her chest, barely holding onto the veins that raced through her body. Her grip loosened on the phone.
"I never got any letters from you." She managed to not sound hollow, despite feeling like there was an empty spot inside her chest. It hurt, realizing that he had received everything she had wrote to him and not taken the time of day to send anything back. She would've been happy with an empty envelope that had his name signed on it. At least it would've meant that he cared enough to speak to her. She wondered how many phone calls he had purposely ignored, thinking that it was her or Max. The other line was quiet and for a moment she wondered if he had hung up, so he didn't have to answer her. 
"Oh, Kim," Her dads voice was soft as he spoke, "Things have just been so hard on me recently. I haven't had time to do so." She thought of how she would write to him in California, how often her and Max would call, and he would never answer. She paused for a moment before she hung up the phone up on him, feeling more alone than ever. She didn't have anything left to say to him. Her heart was throbbing as if he was actually here in front of her, stabbing her in that exact spot. She exhaled, expecting to feel the need to cry but instead feeling nothing.
She pulled off of the wall at the same time Billy’s door popped open. She felt the angry brewing in her chest again but her speech about confronting him had left her suddenly as she stared at him. He had on a light blue buttoned up shirt and a pair of dark denim jeans. His curls were looser than usual, and his grin was sloppy as he looked at her like nothing was wrong. Her heart did tumbles in her chest, and she only seemed to grow more infuriated from it. She couldn't even seem to stay mad at him. 
“Smells good in here,” His voice was raspy as he walked by, letting her know that he must’ve woken up just a little bit ago. She kept quiet as he passed her, stepping towards the kitchen and rummaging through the bags of cereal. She felt that it served him right that he didn't get any of the pancakes she made, “Is everyone gone?” She watched his lips curl into a mischievous grin, but she ignored it, forcing her soaring heart to calm itself as she walked to the living room. She didn't want to give in so easily, she knew she had a right to get angry with him over this situation. Even if this all boiled down to her father. 
“Yeah.” She thought that maybe she should leave and find somewhere to go so she didn’t have to see him. She wasn’t necessarily comfortable showing up at her friend’s house unannounced and she really didn’t have anyone else to hang out with. She turned on the TV, pretending to focus on what was on while she rehearsed the lines in her head again. She could feel her pulse in her wrists and her hands grew sweaty with nerves. She wasn’t good at confrontation. It made her sick as she thought about having to tell him that she knew what he had done.
She thought of her father again and wondered what he was doing. If he was truly mad enough to not talk to her or if he was just busy trying to straighten his life out. She had a feeling it wasn't the second option. It made her worried and feel even more full of guilt, not hearing from him for this long. She had Max and her mom, but he had no one. She couldn't imagine how lonely it must feel for her dad to be on his own and facing his addiction alone. She didn't think he was right to ask her for money, but Billy wasn't right in taking her choice away either. 
“Okay,” She listened to the way he rummaged in the fridge and poured a bowl of cereal. She dragged her eyes to the bottom of the floor as she realized she was staring at his reflection through the TV, “Are you doing anything today?” His voice sounded like smooth honey in her ears as she listened to him. She exhaled again, trying to focus on the words that was coming from the person on the show rather than him.
She hated how easily her heart still beat for him even though she was mad. She chewed on her bottom lip, “I don’t know.” She was being short with him, but she didn’t care. She was too mad with him, not understanding why he would do that to her without saying something. She felt like she was able to handle him telling her that it was a bad idea. She didn’t think it was fair for him to go behind her back and do it without asking. 
“What?” He looked up at her, his mouth full of cereal as he chewed. She dipped her eyes back towards the TV, ignoring him as she wrapped a blanket around herself. She didn’t have anything to say at the moment, “What did I do?” He tried again, nudging his foot up against her. She turned to him, fairly sure that her irritation was showing on her face.
“Did you do something wrong?” She asked him, tilting her head as she did her best to analyze him. She was positive she could see the gears in his head turning as he tried to think. It was almost funny, watching him try to find something that he may or may not have done wrong. 
“I don’t think so,” He grumbled, glancing back towards her rigid form. His blue eyes looked soft as he searched over her irritated expression. She figured she wasn't as good as hiding her expressions as what he was. She shrugged her shoulders stiffly, "You're acting like you're mad about something." 
“Then nothing’s wrong.” She said simply, turning away again. She was tempted to go to her room and pout again but decided against it. He sat forward, resting his cereal bowl on the coffee table before scooting closer towards her. She nestled herself as close to the arm of the chair as she could.
“Kim, cut the bullshit,” She looked at him surprised, “What are you upset about?” He looked genuinely concerned and it just seemed to make her even more upset. She felt like she couldn't trust him, like he had been lying about everything.
“You took the money I was going to give to my dad.” She didn’t ask him, she told him. As much as she wanted to deny that he would do it, she knew deep down that he was the only one that would. She watched the way his blue eyes softened and that was all she needed as a confirmation before she was standing from the couch and stomping to her room.
“Will you at least let me explain?” He was right behind her, catching the door with his hand so she wasn’t able to slam it shut in front of his regretful face. She felt her eyes narrowing as she stared at his large hand and wished that she had a bit more strength inside of her to push him away. She wanted him out. 
"What's there to explain?" She was still trying to barricade him out of her doorway, "You said before that I shouldn't comment about your relationship with your dad. What makes you think you have the right to do that with me?" She meant every word she said as she stared up at him, trying to pick him about and understand him. 
"You act like it's a big deal. All I did was put your money back where it belongs. He's an adult, he shouldn't be looking to you for money." Billy's voice was soft as he spoke, and he looked at her as if he didn't understand why she was so upset. She gulped hard, knowing his words were partially true but she didn't want to admit it. She wasn't ready to think of her dad in that manner. 
“You had no right to do that. That was my money, and I can spend it how I want and give it to whomever I want.” Her chest was heaving as he pushed his way into her room. The back of her throat was burning as she stared at him, waiting for him to apologize. She felt betrayed that he would do such a thing and not tell her about it. No wonder her father hadn’t called, he was probably hurt that she hadn’t sent him anything. She wouldn’t let Billy be the reason her father stopped talking to her altogether. 
"I didn't want you to get hurt," He tried to plead to her, "I was trying to keep you safe." She ignored the soft look in his eyes.
"I'm not a little kid. I don't need your permission to make my own decisions, regardless if I get hurt or not. He wasn't forcing me; I chose to send him money." She was angry as she spoke, not understanding how Billy couldn't even trust her to make her own decisions. She had just complained to him about her mom not treating her like an adult, yet he was acting similarly. She knew it was the same reason he didn't invite her to go out last night either. He was treating her like she was a glass doll that could break down into teeny tiny pieces at any second. 
“I never said you needed any of that. I just didn't want you to blow your hard-earned money on your pathetic dad. He probably would've blown it all on gambling anyways.” He looked at her seriously, like he couldn’t believe what she had just said. Her jaw went slack, and the anger consumed her as his insulting words bounced around inside of her mind. She knew he had no right to say anything about her father. He didn’t know anything about her dad and there was nothing wrong with helping him out. She was sure he was just busy, probably hurt that she hadn’t sent him anything when she said she would.
“Don’t call him that!” Her voice shook as she yelled at him, the back of her throat burning hard. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, “He’s my dad, not yours. You have no right to say anything about him, you don’t know him.” She meant every word she said too. She knew her dad wasn’t pathetic. No, he wasn’t the best at parenting, but he never hit her. He was never mean to her. He was kind and funny. He was everything that Neil wasn’t. Billy exhaled softly.
“I know he doesn't deserve to be your dad. That was the first time he spoke to you in how long? Kim, he wanted money. That’s fucked up. I couldn’t let him do that to you.” She was crying now, his words cut straight to the bone. They hurt. She shook her head hard, feeling the tears soaking her soft cheeks. Billy looked at her with sympathy, like he somehow could understand how she felt at the moment.
“He’s going through a hard time, and you don’t know him. He’s my dad.” She replied pitifully, staring up at him with reddened eyes. He cupped her cheek softly and as upset as she was, she wasn’t able to pull away from him. She knew he was right, that her dad had only wanted her for her money. It didn’t make the pain hurt any less. She still felt like she was breaking inside as the image of her father continued to fade in her mind.
“I know what it’s like,” Billy rubbed her cheek softly with her thumb, removing the tears from her wet cheeks, “To have a parent that doesn’t want you, that is only there when it’s convenient. Kim, I didn’t want you to have to go through that. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you.” He spoke earnestly. She didn’t know why she felt like he was the only one that could comfort her, even if she was still upset with him. She shook in his hands, keeping her eyes down casted so she didn’t have to look up at him.
“My dad loves me.” She was trying to convince herself. His thumbs felt soft as he wiped away her tears, touching her cheeks so softly she could barely feel it. She didn’t understand at what point her relationship with her father had come to this. She felt as if she had been a good daughter, like she hadn’t done anything to make her dad leave.
“I’m sure he does,” Billy said softly, drawing her away from her thoughts. She looked up at his soft features, feeling vulnerable as he observed her, “It doesn’t mean that he should treat you that way.” He said softly, his tone sounding raw as he spoke. She felt her eyebrows furrow in sorrow as she watched him, realizing the hidden meaning in his words. 
“I’m sorry.” She wasn’t sure what she was sorry for, it just felt like it was the right thing to say at the moment. She was still angry, but she realized it wasn’t really towards Billy, it was towards her dad. Even if she had sent the money, he hadn’t called her once to check on her. From the day he left it had been her and Max that had been the ones to make sure he still had something to do with them. He must be too far into his addiction to even care. It hurt her; it made her feel small.
“Don’t apologize. You had a right to be mad,” Billy spoke softly, nudging his nose softly against hers to draw her attention back to him. He pulled away a few inches as she gazed at him, taking in the look of remorse on his face. She wasn’t sure if his actions were right, or if she quite forgave him yet, but he was the only one that could comfort her. He was the only one she wanted to have at her side at the moment, “I didn’t want you to get like this.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss against each of her cheekbones. She sniffled in his hands, still feeling like a blubbering mess.
“Okay,” She breathed out slowly, her eyes felt like they were puffy and burnt a bit as she blinked at him, “I want you.” She admitted quickly, taking a fistful of his shirt and pulling him towards her. She pressed her lips against his gently before he pulled away, much to her dismay. She felt a fresh wave of betrayal wash over him as she watched his blue eyes. He hesitated as he looked into hers.
“Kim,” His minty breath massaged her wet face, “I don’t know if you’re ready.” She kept her grip on his shirt, feeling like he’d slip away if she let go of him. She was sure she looked desperate because she was. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything else. 
“Why?” She felt her breathing coming out harder. She wanted to feel like someone wanted her, like someone wanted to be with her. Even if it was only for a few moments, she could pretend that it was something more, “Don’t you want me?” It was a risky question; she knew that if he said no that it would hurt her more than what her father did. His blue eyes looked uncertain as he peered at her, biting down on his bottom lip.
“I always want you,” He told her softly, glancing down at her pink lips, “I just don’t want you to regret anything.” He mumbled so softly that she had to strain to hear him. She watched the look of vulnerability that crossed his face, realizing that his walls were down.
“I would never regret you.” Her heart thumped hard in her chest, realizing he would never truly understand what her words actually meant. She didn’t know how long it took her to realize how special he was to her, but she knew it now. Maybe there would come a time in the future when it was time to let go of each other, but she wouldn’t be the first one to do it. She would forever feel him around her. He would haunt her for what they could’ve been, for what they could’ve had. She knew that whatever happened, she would at least be glad that she had him for a small amount of time. 
His eyes lingered against her features, but she ignored the way he watched her, instead, she worked on unbuttoning his shirt as the warmth spread across her cheeks. She thought that after crying she would feel empty on the inside, like there was nothing else to feel. However, all she could think of was him. He made her feel whole, like she wasn’t quite so broken. She pulled the shirt off of his broad shoulders, waiting for him to say something. He kept quiet instead, so she began to fiddle with his belt. She knew what she wanted; he wasn’t just some distraction. 
She moved first, pressing her lips up against his lips this time. She was so used to him taking the lead that it almost felt wrong. He still tasted like cigarettes, mint and beer. She wondered what he tasted when he kissed her and if she tasted like salty tears at the moment. He pulled away just as fast, his eyes searching over her features again. Her heart was beating hard in her chest, afraid that he was going to push her away after what she had said. She wished she was able to tell him how much he meant to her.
“Please,” She begged softly as she began to push his jeans down his sturdy thighs, “I’ll stop if you don’t want this. Just say something.” She thought of brushing her nose against his, like he had done. She looked at his blue eyes, worried that she would see uncertainty in them. He watched her softly, tracing his thumb across her skin.
“I want you,” He promised softly, “Are you sure you’re okay? We can do this later; I don’t want to rush you into anything.” She leaned down against his hand, resting her cheek against his warm skin as she shook her head at him.
“You’re not, I promise,” She spoke sincerely, “I mean it, I want you. Please.” She added again, exhaling deeply as she cupped his bulge in her hand. She pressed up against him, in complete passion as she examined him. His eyebrows furrowed together, his lips curling into a small smile. She wanted him to want her as badly as she did right now. She wanted him to care for her in a way she knew he was unable to do. 
“Okay,” He peppered a kiss against the corner of her mouth, “Don’t cry about it.” He mumbled under his breath as he yanked her shirt over her head. She winced softly when it caught on her hair but fixed it all the same. She didn’t even care about his tone right now. She needed to feel him against her, to remember that at least a small part of him belonged to her. 
“The door,” She reminded him after he had undressed her and tossed her onto the bed. She couldn’t even find it in herself to giggle as she bounced on her soft mattress. Her heart was still heavy as she watched him cross the room and shut the door quickly. He crawled back onto the bed, smiling as he pushed her legs apart, “You’re pretty.” She mumbled softly, catching the sun that glistened off of his smooth skin. He furrowed his eyebrows together.
“Thanks, I guess,” He looked at her a bit amused, but she watched the way his eyes softened after a second of looking at her expression, “You’re sure this is what you want?” She sat up on her elbows to move closer to him as she nodded her head eagerly. She cupped his strong jawline in her hands as she felt captivated by the way he was looking at her. 
“I always want you,” She breathed out slowly, pressing her lips against his gently. He leaned forward, deepening the kiss as she rested her head back against her soft pillows. His tongue slid across her bottom lip, before pushing inside and exploring her open mouth. Her whole body felt as if she had been lit into flames. She oddly felt like it would be okay to burn as long as she had him with her, “Billy.” She breathed out softly as his thumb flicked across her hardened nipple. He pulled away, a trail of spit connecting from their lips. It sent electricity between her legs as a deep desire inside of her grew in a way that she had never experienced before. 
“Needy little whore,” He wiped the drool from her lip with his thumb, before pressing it inside of her mouth. She sucked on his thumb softly, looking up at him with big doe eyes. The blue in his eyes became harder to see as he watched her, “Fuck.” He bit his lip hard, pulling his thumb from her mouth slowly as he rested back on the heels of his feet. She stared at his hard cock, reaching between their legs to pump him softly in her hand for good measure. Something about this felt different than all of the other times they had been together. She was sure she was on edge and Billy was probably right, she may not be ready for him like this yet. Still, she wanted to feel like she belonged to someone.
“Please,” She spoke so softly that she was unsure if he heard her at first. She pushed his tip between her drenched folds, sighing at the sensation of their skin meeting. He groaned softly, watching her through his thick eyelashes, “Don’t make me beg for it.” She pleaded, watching a hint of amusement cross his face like he was considering it. He nodded, grunting softly as he pushed his hips forward and rubbed his hard cock against her wet cunt.
“I’ve got you, baby,” He promised, and she wished he had her in more than just one way, “S’okay.” He cradled her face with one hand, rubbing her soft cheek with his thumb as he glided himself in with his other hand. Her hips raised on instinct, moaning at the sensation of his cock stretching out her fluttering walls. She felt her eyes fluttering as she drank in the feeling of his thick length bottoming out inside of her. He pressed in so deeply, exhaling softly as she felt his balls rest against her skin. 
Her fingernails traced up the side of his muscular arm softly, leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake as she lingered near his tattoo. She gripped onto his skin tightly when he slowly pulled his hips back and then slammed back into her tight cunt. She whimpered, forgetting everything she had been focused on. All she thought of was him and the way they fit together like two missing puzzle pieces.
“Oh my god,” She clung to him, digging her heels into his skin to urge him closer to her. He grunted softly, throbbing inside of her as he drew his hips out slowly and pushed back into her. He pushed her hair from her face, leaning down to lick the corner of her mouth. Her nails scraped against his skin as his movements drove her into the bed. She mewled, pulling him down further on top of her until his chest was pressed flush against hers, “More.” She demanded quietly, turning her face to watch his eyebrows scrunch up in pleasure.
He was rutting his hips into her as he moved one of his arms behind her neck, careful not to pull on her long hair. He placed another hand on her hip, desperately clawing her closer towards him as he rocked into her. His nose was brushing against her skin, his breath filling her lungs as she was sure they had never been this close before. She felt the familiar warmth spreading through her body, her clit throbbing as they moved in unison. 
“You’re so beautiful,” He murmured against the crook of her neck, his lips gliding across her sweaty skin, “So fucking beautiful and all mine.” He promised her, his words vibrating across her pale skin. She moaned, feeling a ticklish feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. His praises went straight to her core, causing her to grind her hips up and push his cock deeper inside of her wet cunt. 
She felt her toes curl as he hit the sweet bundle of nerves inside of her, the movement of his hips growing faster as she clenched around him. Her room was filled with the sounds of their moans and of their skin meeting together. She dug her nails into his skin softly, squealing as he thrusted his cock into her harder. 
“You make me feel so good,” She whimpered, tilting her head up high as his lips sucked across her skin. She could feel his teeth grazing and she didn’t even care if he left any marks on her. She’d embrace it, she’d be happy that she would have some sort of memory left of the two of them, “Billy.” She cried out, grinding her hips up helplessly as the familiar feeling grew in her stomach. He grunted in response, licking up the side of her neck before connecting their lips harshly.
It was rough and sloppy, their tongues flicking against each other as they chased their high. His arm flexed around her, drawing her in even closer as his hips began to stall. She whimpered against his lips, rolling her hips in unison as she felt the familiar feeling growing inside her.
“Cum inside me,” She begged, her lips brushing against his as she spoke, “Please Billy, fill me up with your cum.” She was nodding her head, like it would help sway his decision. He grunted, rocking into her harder as his skin smacked loudly against hers. Her legs were shaking as she clung to him tightly, feeling herself release around him with a loud cry.
“Fuck,” He exhaled softly, his hips beginning to stall as he rutted his hips down against her, “Holy shit.” He cursed, bottoming out inside of her as he filled her wet cunt with his warm liquid. She gasped in pleasure, soaking in the feeling of being full. She squeezed onto his arm softly, nudging the side of his cheek with her nose. He was still breathless but peppered a kiss against her lips. Their mouths were still met when he puckered his lips and spit into her open mouth. She moaned, swallowing his spit without another thought.
Everything that had just happened felt so small as she held onto him. No matter what she was feeling, it felt right lingering in his arms. Her heartbeat to the rhythm of his own and the line that was between them seemed to be fading to nothing in her eyes. She realized how hard she was truly falling for him as their skin mixed together.
“I’m sorry,” He mumbled again, looking at her sincerely. His curls were stuck to his sweaty forehead and his chest was moving in unison to hers, “I thought you’d be mad if I said anything.” She looked at his soft blue eyes, feeling like he was being genuine with her.
“I would have,” She admitted, knowing there really wouldn’t have been a way for her to not be upset, “I just wish my dad was different.” She didn't want to say anything else, too afraid that she would start crying if she brought up any more memories. He nodded softly and she was sure he felt the same way towards his father. She liked the way he never made her feel less than. She knew her father was far better than his own, but he never brought that up. 
They laid there together, still wrapped up in unison as they came down from their high. Kim’s legs were still shaking, her clit still vibrating as she relaxed against his touch. She turned, rubbing his tanned skin softly as she watched the way his eyebrows furrowed together. She looked over his thick eyelashes and high cheekbones. She thought if she laid still enough, she could count every freckle on his cheeks while he tried to recollect his breath. 
“I love you,” It was like all of the warm air left the room and a chill breeze spread over them instead. Love. The word bounced around every crevice inside of her brain as she tried to process what was happening. Everything inside of her froze for a long uncomfortable minute before it all kickstarted again. Kim’s eyes were just as wide as Billy’s as he stared down at her in horror, looking like he couldn’t believe he had just said that. Kim was too afraid to breathe, too afraid to move as she tried to keep her face as neutral as possible. She felt a flicker growing inside of her as she began to believe that maybe she wasn’t that crazy after all, maybe there had been more to the two of them. Her mood quickly damped as she looked at his expression, realizing it wasn’t filled with love, “Shit, shit, fuck.” Billy pulled himself from her wet cunt quickly, earning a sound of protest from her. His face was reddening like she hadn’t seen before as he moved quickly. Her heart was thumping nervously, and she suddenly found her tongue very dry as she stared up at him. She felt like she had done something wrong suddenly, not quite understanding why he was pulling away so quickly. 
"Billy," She breathed out, unsure of what she could say to make things better. Her heart was beating faster in her chest as the familiar warmth grew from her cheeks down to her toes. She suddenly thought of saying the same words back but was unsure if she would mean it. She had never been in love before, and she was certain this was just a crush. Even if she did feel the same way, the panicked look on his face made her feel like it was just a mistake. Like it had been a slip of the tongue. She thought she really would scare him away if she repeated those three words back. She didn't want to be rejected and lose him at the same time, "Don't worry about it." It hurt herself to say. She wanted him to say the words over to her again and she wanted to know what he meant them. He was doing his best to ignore her, his eyes darting around the room quickly.
“I didn’t,” He stammered out quickly, pushing his blonde, sweaty hair off of his forehead, “I wasn’t thinking. That just sort of slipped out. I didn’t mean it; I mean this is just sex. Nothing else.” She had never seen him ramble so much and fight for the right thing to say. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure himself or her. She gulped, feeling her once elated heart grow weak from the stabbing of his words. She quickly nodded in agreement, not wanting to seem like the only one who had feelings. She felt a burning in the back of her throat that she ignored. The last thing she needed to do was cry in front of him. 
She watched him for a moment, understanding that she had been the only one to get feelings so far. She realized quickly while she watched him that this probably meant nothing to him. He didn't care for her in the way she did for him. This was purely sex for him, and she was just another outlet for him to use as he pleased. He didn't love her; he had just slipped up on his words. She felt sick and wondered if this was what her mother had been trying to warn her about. She didn't want to have a broken heart, especially not from Billy. She paused as she watched the way his eyes darted around wildly, like he had just done something bad. She tried to pull herself together, not wanting him to feel guilty for anything that he was saying. As much as it hurt, she knew she would keep giving herself to Billy even if he never felt anything for her. She knew there was something between them, even if he wasn't ready to admit it yet. 
She wasn’t really sure why she was so upset. She didn’t know what love was, there was no way she could love him. She was sure that she had a crush on him, but that only meant that she liked him. There was nothing deeper between them. At least, she hoped there were no deeper feelings brewing towards him. He had told her well enough that there was nothing on his end. 
“It’s okay,” She breathed out slowly, trying to pretend that it didn’t hurt while she laid in a puddle of his come, “It just slipped out. No big deal.” She mumbled, each word making her tongue feel even more numb. She could feel a familiar lump burning in the back of her throat as her heart hung sadly in her chest. Billy couldn’t even look at her and she thought that his actions may have hurt the most. She kept urging him to turn her way and face her again, but he was refusing to do so. It worried her, thinking of how he always held eye contact so strictly and now he couldn't even look in her direction. She wondered if he could see right through her, if he knew that she would've whispered the words right back to him. 
“I should go,” For the first time she could see him fully as he had unknowingly torn his own walls down. He looked panicked, full of fear as he sat on the edge of the bed and dressed himself. She stared at the way his back flexed as his muscles moved and she tried to ignore the throbbing in her heart. She wondered if the reason he wasn’t looking at her was because he could see how badly she was bleeding on the inside.
“Yeah,” She was still messy between her legs but that was the least of her worries at the moment. Her throat burned as spoke, the tears threatening to spill, “I’ve got stuff to do anyways.” She mumbled, pulling her panties back over her ankles. She had a strong urge to shower and scrub every inch of her skin. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to clean the dirty feelings inside of her. 
“Kim,” He turned suddenly, looking over his shoulder as he watched her, “I really didn’t mean to say that.” She felt a small sliver of hope growing in her chest as she realized it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anything. She ignored that feeling, knowing that it was too good to be true. It felt like he was twisting the knife as she slowly sat up to look up at his stony features. She did her best to keep her shoulders from sagging, not wanting to seem as disappointed as what she felt. He didn’t feel the same way about her, she knew that, and she knew that she shouldn’t let it bother her. Yet, it did. It hurt so badly. 
He didn't love her. 
“It’s fine,” She darted her eyes towards him, looking at the worried expression that was plastered across his pretty features. She looked back down towards her feet and shrugged her shoulders, “No hard feelings.” She promised. He didn’t kiss her when he left this time, he didn’t even spare her another glance before he was out the door. She rested back against her bed as a lonely feeling settled in her chest. Her eyesight grew wet as she stared up, urging for her heart to stop crying. She felt worse than she had earlier, like part of her heart had just broken off from the rest of her heart.
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rebelspykatie · 1 year
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Without You
@steddie-week Day Five - Established Relationship 
Link to AO3 | 6.2k | Rated T
He’s on the other side of the house when the phone rings. Hurrying to catch it before it stops, he sprints from the bedroom to the kitchen, grabbing it at the last second.
“Hello, Munson residence,” Steve answers.
“Hi sweetheart,” Eddie says down the line. Just hearing his voice settles something in Steve’s chest, soothing him from afar.
“Eddie!” Steve exclaims. He pauses when he glances at the clock and notices the time. “Why are you calling? I thought you were supposed to be on a plane by now?”
He can’t help the worry that creeps up. Eddie’s been on tour for two months, jet setting across the country to play at little local venues. His record label set something up to get Corroded Coffin’s name on the map after their first album gained some traction.
It’s been difficult being away from each other for this long. Before the tour, they hadn’t been apart for more than a few days at a time. Now, they’re lucky to get a phone call in before approaching bedtimes in different time zones.
And while it’s been challenging, Steve knows that Eddie is happier than ever. He can hear it in his voice every time they’ve talked on the phone. Excitement pours out of him as he details their shows and how they’re meeting real fans that have actually heard their music. Steve doesn’t have to see his face to know he’s beaming on the other end.
Robin is constantly making fun of the way Steve waits by the phone, anticipating Eddie’s calls, when he knows Corroded Coffin has a night off and Eddie can phone him from the privacy of his hotel room. Their house just feels so empty without him there. Steve wanders around in Eddie’s favorite black hoodie, keeping his scent close and finding what comfort he can while Eddie is thousands of miles away.
“So bad news, our flight got delayed,” Eddie pauses for a moment to let that sink in. “Good news is that we should still be home by tomorrow, so we won’t miss the Christmas Eve Extravaganza. We’ll have to meet you there, but we’ll definitely be there.”
“I’m so sorry, love. I know you’re excited about getting home,” Steve twirls the phone cord around his finger. “I’m excited, too. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, baby,” Eddie sounds so soft when he says it back. The warm feeling settles in Steve’s chest again, the one that’s always there around Eddie.
“I promise I’m coming home to you soon. It’s just this damn weather that won’t cooperate,” he sighs, and Steve can almost picture him. Phone cradled against his ear, running a frustrated hand through his unruly curls, slumping down against the wall beside the payphones.
“It’s okay. A few more hours won’t kill us,” he sighs dramatically, even though Eddie is typically the drama queen in their relationship.
“I’ll see you soon.”
“Love you. Have a safe flight and I’ll see you at the party, okay?”
“Sure thing, sweetheart. Love you, too.” And with that the line goes dead.
He can’t help the disappointment that washes over him after receiving that news. He was hoping to have a night alone with Eddie before the chaos of the next few days. They have a packed schedule, from the Christmas Eve Extravaganza at the Byers-Hopper residence, to the sleepover with Robin and Nancy that has become their Christmas Eve tradition, to Christmas morning with Wayne the following day. It’s likely they won’t get any time to themselves until two days from now.
But he’s not going to let that get him down, he’s about to see Eddie again for the first time in two months. It doesn’t matter who’s there or watching, he’s going to tackle Eddie in the biggest hug he’s ever received and kiss the everloving daylights out of him. The kids and Robin can give him shit about it for the rest of eternity for all he cares, he’s missed Eddie with a ferocity he didn’t know existed.
Putting the change in plans out of his mind, he makes his way back to their home gym to finish his workout. He’ll just distract himself until tomorrow and it’ll be here before he knows it.
Continue on AO3
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miroslavcloset · 2 years
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Even now, you remain my light [Neuller +18 Fic] Chapter 1
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~Manu used to be in Thomas' presence almost 24/7, between being at home with him and training with Bayern, is rare to not have his comforting aura around him, but with an injury, their routines have to be separated. Today Thomas will be home a little earlier than usual and Manu is feeling a little clingier than usual, so his boyfriend will make sure to take care of him and make him feel as loved as possible.~
A/N: Hi, fellow football lovers, may I offer you fluffy and dirty Neuller in these trying times? I'm still writing it but I'm really proud of what I've achieved up to today regarding this fic. The smut will be in the upcoming chapter and it will be posted as soon as is finished and I've written something for chapter 3 as well bc my adhd brain only works like this. Love you and thanks for reading <3 P.D: English is not my first language, but I did my best, hope everything is alright~
The sun was slowly sinking into the horizon marking the end of a long day of training and testing for the team, well, for everyone except for Manuel. The goalkeeper spent his days a little differently lately. He could rest except when he attended medical appointments and the therapies necessary for the recovery of the injury on his right leg. The bandages were somewhat annoying in themselves, but they were one of the few things that were required of him according to the medical staff. To be honest, he wasn't someone who took that kind of matter too seriously, maybe he was a little more resistant than the others expected or he just demanded too much of himself. Thomas assured him that was the second option, for sure.
Under the care of his boyfriend, Manuel did not do much and although he insisted that he could fend for himself, Thomas did not allow him to hang around the house more than his physiotherapists allowed him according to the diagnosis. Under any other circumstances, Manuel might even consider that somewhat annoying but seeing how Thomas spoiled him in many ways, from bringing him breakfast in bed, to helping him find the most comfortable sleeping position considering how tough the pain could be, achieved that little by little Manuel lowered his defenses and this time he let his partner show him how much he cared.
Usually, as one of the main faces of the team, Thomas had to attend more business meetings than the rest of the players, maybe some quick recording or interview regarding an upcoming game, which is why it wasn't normal for Thomas to get home before dark. But today would be something different. A little after noon, Manuel saw that his phone screen turned on, probably showing a new notification, without taking his eyes off the movie that was playing on the screen in his room, he unlocked the screen and saw that he received a message from Thomas. A smile spread across his face when he read that he would postpone a photo session due to his contract extension to arrive earlier to take care of him, and before Manuel could refute with any argument, another message accompanied the first one, saying that when proposing it to the managers, they had not raised any problem for it as long as the session had been taken care of on Monday. It was very nice to think that today he could spend more time than usual with Thomas, he had to admit that he felt his absence. He replied to the message with 'Can't wait to see you', followed by a selfie where he only showed half of his face, the other half under the white covers on the bed, the phone lit up again, this time with Thomas sending a picture of his own, of him in the team lockers, in the background some more players were seen organizing their things, in the caption of the photo he wrote 'I miss you. I'll see you later ;)', of course, he found it adorable.
The rest of the afternoon passed without much detail, Thomas did not specify the time he would arrive and Manuel did not ask either, he did not want to sound annoying, taking into consideration that his boyfriend postponed commitments to spend more time with him, obviously he would not pressure him. Manuel made himself comfortable between the covers, piling them a little under his right knee to give him some support and removing the extra pillow he had put behind his back earlier, little by little among the pleasant warmth of the room in contrast to the white cloak of snow that covered the city and the tranquility of knowing that Thomas would come home, made Manuel slowly feel that sleep was taking over him, the voices coming from the television became barely audible murmurs while his eyes closed and he let himself go to be able to rest.
A soft scent was the first thing he noticed, even before fully waking up, he didn't recognize precisely what it was but he breathed it a couple of times trying anyways to think about it. He settled down, stretched, and yawned before opening his eyes with some laziness still, he saw that the room was dark, the television turned off and the curtains closed, he was surprised at first sight, since it wasn't the way he left the room before he had gone to sleep, he turned to look at the door and noticed that the rest of the house was with the lights on and sounds were heard coming from the kitchen, even without thinking too much he leaned on his elbows to see that on the floor in front of the closet was Thomas' sports bag, still apparently unpacked. He couldn't help but smile as he realized that his boyfriend was the one cooking something in the kitchen, and knowing Thomas, he would surely make enough for both of them. His naps always made him wake up thirsty and he wanted to greet his boyfriend, so taking care of his right leg, he climbed out of bed and gripped his crutches tightly to get up. He tried to make as little noise as possible by going to the kitchen and when he got there he saw Thomas still wearing his uniform jersey and sweatpants, maybe he hadn't arrived long ago. He was moving from one side to another what seemed to be vegetables with some kind of sauce in a frying pan, to one side was a knife and a board with some scraps on it. Thomas turned to place one of the plates that he used to mix the ingredients in the dishwasher, and as he did so, he was surprised to see Manuel at the kitchen entrance. Immediately his expression softened, and he switched from concentration to a sweet smile directed at his partner.
-Hi love. Did you rest well?-Thomas approached to give Manuel a light kiss on the lips, who corresponded with one from him.
-Hello darling. Yes, thanks for the TV and the curtains, by the way. How was the training?
-I supposed that you would rest better like that, your hair tells me that I was right.- He mentioned with a smile and a gesture indicating how messy it was.
Manuel chuckled softly and thought about fixing it, only to remember that he couldn't let go of his crutches while he was standing up.
Thomas immediately realized it too.
-Wait, let me help you with that.- He rinsed his hands under the kitchen faucet and quickly dried them on a towel. He went to get one of the dining room chairs and put it right behind Manuel, putting one hand on his back and one on his arm to help him sit down.
-Are you comfortable like this?- He continued. -If you want I can take you to the room and as soon as dinner is ready I'll bring it to you. I'm worried that you're going from here to there.-
Manuel sat down and placed the crutches to one side, leaning them against the wall. He combed his hair a little with one hand, to fix it and intentionally made an attempt to hide the slight blush that threatened to betray the sweet emotions that Thomas' attentions aroused in him.
-Don't worry, I'm comfortable here, plus I have to be careful that what happened last week in the kitchen doesn't happen today…-he replied with a mischievous look.
-Come on, it was only once! First and last, I promise.- He laughed. Thomas, crouching down to be at Manuel's level, stared at him for a few seconds without saying anything, put both hands on each side of his face on his cheeks, and kissed him on the forehead.
Manuel felt the so-called 'Butterflies in his stomach' at the gesture, which made him think that even though they had been together as a couple for a considerable time, Thomas still had the ability to make him feel that it was the first time he had hugged or kissed him.
-And today could be the second as I see.- He said, looking from Thomas's side to the frying pan that apparently he had forgotten.
Thomas opened his eyes and immediately turned to look at the stove, took the pan, and put it on the off stove next to it, to then turn off the one where the vegetables were. -No, definitely not today. I admit that I was saved from this one.- He took a couple more ingredients from the refrigerator and was arranging two plates after taking out tongs to serve hot food. -Have I told you that I adore your goalkeeper reflexes? They work to save almost anything, even our dinner.- A giggle escaped him and Thomas looked back at him smiling.
-Can I help you with something?- Manuel asked, taking his crutches from where they were lying.
-Nope. Everything is under control, captain.-
-Do you want to dine in the room? If you want we can see the movie that I didn't finish.-
-I love the idea. I'll finish serving the dishes and I'll take you to the room, okay?-
-Don't worry. I would like to help you with something else… It is one of the many inconveniences that injuries like this bring.- Manuel mentioned with a somewhat melancholic tone in his voice. He got up on his crutches and tried to grab the chair by the back to put it in place, but Thomas stopped him just before he could move it.
-I'll put it in place, love. How about you play the movie in the room while I get there? I usually get kinda confused with so many streaming services.-
-You are right about that. I got it.-
There is nothing Thomas would like more than to be able to help him in any way he can, even with the relatively easy task of getting from the kitchen to the bedroom, but he was also aware that Manuel was feeling a certain frustration at not being able to fend for himself at 100%. Even while he was recovering from the injury, he was someone characterized by his independence and leadership, not for nothing had he spent many seasons as the captain of one of the best teams in Europe.
He took a tray from among the drawers, served Manuel's dinner, and went to the main room. His boyfriend was sitting on the bed, typing in the search bar of the TV the title he wanted. He put the tray down and Manuel responded with a sincere 'Thank you', Thomas caressed his cheek with the back of his hand and returned to the kitchen for his own plate, upon entering he was greeted by Manuel with a smile and a light pat on the bed on the empty place next to him, motioning for him to sit next to him. Thomas settled back on the bed, careful not to move the dishes too much.
They ate in silence, watching the movie on the screen, only interrupting it with random questions like 'Would you like me to bring you something else to drink?' or 'Would you like anything else?', Thomas was not used to staying focused on a movie throughout the whole course of it, his attention shifting from one thing to another around him, but with this one, Manuel had made a very good choice as it wasn't too long and although it wasn't particularly an audiovisual masterpiece, it was quite entertaining and perfectly understandable until the end.
When it finished and the final credits began to roll on the screen, Manuel stretched out his arms, settling himself into place, and Thomas stood up to collect the dishes. He looked at the clock to make sure that there were still a few hours left for the medicines that Manuel had to take, so there was no problem.
Immersed in checking for any other care that might be eluding him, he carried everything on the tray back to the kitchen, thinking that later he would put everything in the dishwasher. He checked that apart from that, he had nothing on the waiting list and turned off the lights to return to the room.
Earlier that afternoon, Thomas had come straight from training and walked into the room to greet his partner. There was Manuel taking a nap in his bed, with the covers a little spread but enough to cover him from his shoulders down, the screen with a movie on standby, his light but rhythmic breathing, the sunset lights coming through the glass of the windows and the pleasant temperature at which the room was kept made Manuel look comfortable and peaceful. Thomas smiled to himself, maybe later he would tell him how adorable he looked… He took off his shoes, left his bag on the floor in front of the closet since he didn't want to make noise with the doors, closed the curtains, and turned off the TV. Finally, he approached him and gave him a small kiss on the forehead.
Now Manuel was looking at the screen of his phone, going through a few various apps. Thomas suddenly sat down next to him and slowly moved the phone away from them, earning his attention. Without thinking twice, he brought his face closer and kissed Manuel, pressing his lips against his, letting himself be carried away by how soft they felt. No matter how much time passed or how many times he kissed him, he always felt his heart race and a fleeting spark in his chest, the relief of a satisfied need to express how much he loved him and wanted him by his side. Thomas raised his hand and placed it on one of Manuel's cheeks, touching his skin in light movements, wanting to feel his partner as much as possible, his skin, his lips, everything that he could absorb at that moment.
Their recently separated routines were making that desire to feel close to each other flourish at moments like these, that touching contact was the trigger for the passion they needed to express. Manuel intertwined his fingers with Thomas' short hair, bringing him closer, if possible, even closer to him, feeling his impatience of consuming even more of him grow. He gently touched Thomas' lips with his tongue, exposing his need to deepen the kiss. As soon as he felt it, Thomas gently turned his face away from him, leaving Manuel with rapid breaths and a slightly confused look, with the intense blue of his eyes questioning the reason for the distance.
Thomas kissed him on the cheek and leaned close to his ear, saying softly: -I'll take a shower, honey. It'll take a moment and I'll get back to you, okay?-
He caressed his face for a couple of seconds in a gesture of affection and without saying anything else, he got up from the bed. He was heading towards the bathroom door, when he felt a slight tug on his fingers and someone holding them, impeding his advance. Thomas turned around, seeing Manuel sitting on the bed leaning towards him, stretching out his arm to take his hand, looking down with frustration and a tinge of sadness in his gaze.
-Manu...?-
-I… I've missed you, you know?- He looked up at him, this time with determination. -And I really want to take advantage of every moment you're here.- Although his tone remained firm, his white complexion began to reveal a marked blush. -Can I go with you?-
Thomas definitely didn't see that coming and the way he opened his eyes at his request showed that such a request was unusual from his partner. He softened his expression, returning his face to the characteristic expression that showed the state of mind of the moments in Manuel's company. He smiled and after bending down he approached him until the tips of his noses touched. -I have an idea, love.- He whispered to him, -Hold on to my shoulders and I'll help you. Come with me.-
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faithdevotion · 2 years
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@therogueprincedaemon || cont.
Bridget observed him attentively; the sight of a man whose blood made them both connected was fascinating. Not that he was the one & only; but he was the first to approach in good terms, to wander farther from his home to find her. She studied him vividly; his blonde straight hair framing his face & how he reacted to what he was witnessing before his eyes. She could tell he was confident on every step he took; be it either for the best or the worst. What he wished or wanted, he'd find ways to acquire.
Despite living secluded, there were no more than three times she'd travel on horseback to the nearest cities to allow herself to be informed of what was transcending in Westeros. Dressed in a long black cloak, the princess would be skillful & sharp-witted to gain friends while keeping her identity a secret. Posing as just a typical woman named Eve, Bridget heard of the stories of dragons; the houses & the King. The last she'd hear was about the unfortunate changes in King's Landing, the battles in the narrow sea & the crabfeeder. Westeros was pictured as chaotic in her mind & she hadn't learned all of it. Certainly, being settled in a place where Terrax was guarding her while she slept was a gift in the midst of what unfolded in the world.
His gesture was positively received, with a slight smile of her own as reassurance the moment he stood upright to face her. Having seen all types of men in the past, the cowards were not of her liking. Bold, strong & possessing skills & wit were her best fit, although Daemon was different from any other & couldn't be compared as there was already a bond formed by Old Valyria. Listening to his offers & the subtle way he'd even suggest some form of company, Bridget let out a small hum and processed his words in her mind, a smirk being more prominent across her soft, plump lips.
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"Nothing would be more delightful than having your company along with your strong dragon.." A hand snaked up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear & then roamed down to her chest, fingers cupping the centerpiece of her long collar, a gift given to her by her mother before she passed. Eyes stared into his own, lips pursing as she carefully thought of the words she'd mention. "but I must mention that would be anything but pleasant to your wife, Lord Targaryen. I hold no desire of fighting with a house whose members are also bound to us by blood & history." Merely, the mention of his status was meant not as a barrier but as an effortless option to learn about what he'd decide.
"My father, Aurion... He was a good Lord, but the poison that flowed through his council members were sufficient for him to lose his sanity. One day, he declared himself the first Enperor of Valyria, with no knowledge of what the title represented. He vanished." Her hand wandered lower to rest on her stomach. A gesture that represented protection of her emotions, as she was discussing a sensitive topic. Her smirk had long faded. "My mother lived only a few days after his disappearance. She was killed. Considered a traitor like my father for declaring themselves Emperors. I had to vanish otherwise they'd have killed me."
Without any hesitation, she stepped closer to Daemon, keeping two inches of distance. Bridget leaned into his ear, exhaling softly through parted lips. Her eyelids fluttered close, giving herself a few seconds of silence. "That is what ambition, if not caused properly, could lead us to. In our world, in Westeros... Actions could lead you to peace... or war, prince." She whispered, her voice smooth as silk.
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Bryce Winters
Basics Age: 30 Sexuality: bi-sexual Current residence: United States Height: 5'10" Nationality: American Face Claim: Kureno Sohma Occupation: Bar/Cafe Server
Personality Quiet, somewhat timid and keeps to himself. Bryce is a person who doesn’t like to create trouble or get into other people’s business, though he will step in if he sees another in trouble. Kind and soft-spoken, he’s a bit of an introvert in that he would rather stay at home for the evening than go out with friends. Any mention of the past or his late partner causes Bryce to freeze and all but panic; he would honestly rather forget about it and focus on the future. He’s quite affectionate with his partner, though because of what he’s gone through, has difficulty accepting it anymore and finds it just as hard to touch another intimately.
Appearance He has a young appearance which causes others to mistake him for a college student. His body is thin and frail-looking, although does have some muscles. Bryce likes to wear somewhat baggy shirts and jeans, along with sneakers and carries his wallet on a chain around his waist. There are several scars on his body as well, from the many times he got into fights in prison and harmed.
History He was born in the States to a quiet family in a small town. Nothing big or overly important happened to him in his life, but around junior high, he met a boy in his class who he soon began to date. His partner was a person many people in town very much liked and was a sweet and funny guy, one of the many reasons Bryce liked him to begin with.
However, not everything was picture perfect. After some time of being together, Bryce began to learn that her boyfriend wasn’t as nice as he acted to everyone else. When they were alone in either of their houses, Bryce became the subject of verbal abuse, something that he never expected to receive from the person he cared about. His boyfriend often called him into the dirt, calling him names and belittling Bryce for his timid nature and bland personality. Soon, it became normal to hear such horrible things, but Bryce just couldn’t gather enough courage to break up with the other male, also because he was constantly told he would be alone for the rest of his life if it weren’t for his boyfriend.
After a year or so of being together, Bryce began trying to tell someone about the treatment his boyfriend gave him in private, but sadly, no one believed him since his boyfriend acted like an angel to them. No one could believe he would do such things to anyone, let alone Bryce, who his boyfriend always said he adored deeply. Because he was never physically abused and thus had no visible proof of the abuse to him, Bryce had no way to prove to anyone he was telling the truth. So, because he still couldn’t get himself to break up with his partner, Bryce remained with his abusive boyfriend, enduring the threats and insults aimed at him behind doors.
The degrading treatment lasted for another year. When Bryce was 16, his life turned upside down. He went home after school with his boyfriend one day and because they were alone once more, he started calling Bryce names like always, always threatening to hit him but never actually doing so. While he made them something to eat as a snack, something inside Bryce just snapped- he took a hold of the knife he was using moments prior and went to his boyfriend, stabbing him over and over without even thinking of what he was doing other than wanting to get away from the abuse he’d been going through for some time. Once he realized what he’d done, Bryce called the police in horror and was immediately charged with second degree murder- an intentional killing that is not premeditated or planned.
Being a minor, Bryce was brought to juvenile detention until he was old enough to be tried as an adult. When he was, Bryce was sentenced to fifteen years in jail with chance of parole after ten. The time he spent behind bars was terrifying to him, possibly worse than the time spent with his now late boyfriend. He was jumped by other convicts, he was abused in worse ways than his boyfriend caused him, and though he tried to just keep to himself, he was often attacked due to his timid nature and passive behavior.
Ten years passed, and Bryce was given parole for his good behavior, and given another chance at life again. The only condition to his parole was he had to give his officer a report once a week of his progress, so they knew he was still behaving outside the prison. At 28, he was still searching for a job but finally managed to get one at a place that was both a café and a bar, which he was shocked about. Considering he has an obligation to tell the employers about his prison sentence and what it was for, Bryce had expected that not many places would be interested in hiring someone who could possibly kill one of their customers or employees. But he eventually became one of the best employees at the café and bar, and over time, he was granted full freedom and no longer had to give weekly reports to a parole officer.
Relationships: Raphael O’hurn - Boyfriend
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italoniponic · 2 years
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Hello!! I love your writing, could I request D H M N Z of the fluff alphabet for Jamil, Leona and Azul? I hope you have a lovely day ❤️
𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭
| Notes: Hi, darling! E um olá para meus manos conterrâneos pelo site~ (vi que você é BR)
Wow. This took me some time but I loved thinking bit by bit of everything, especially bc we deal with some very deep stuff here (dreams, marriage, yk). And, as always, it was interesting to reflect how every one of them would think about these things and what they could want. Also, it was fun to search things to complement the “N - Nicknames” bc I got after the boys possible nationalities to have some options. No need to say that I stand for Italian Azul every day forever lmao
Thanks for the request <3 Sério, obrigada! |
Jamil Viper, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto x g!n reader / fluff alphabet / use of "you" pronouns
Cherry's Harvesting event 🍒 Masterlist
Smoothie of Letters #3
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D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
If possible, a future where both of you are free to realize your dreams. Jamil finally freed from the status of servant of the Asim and you used enough to the whole new world around you to be with him and the friends you have made during all these years. You've been talking so much about free will and about Jamil having his own wishes that he ended up having these “selfish” dreams;
It would be nice to have a house of your own, no matter the size. Jamil has a lot of affection and appreciation for his hometown, Silk City, in the Land of Hot Sands. But it wouldn’t be bad to visit other places in the world with you. Seeing other cultures, learning new foods, dancing without worrying about overshadowing someone else. Living like yourselves;
Jamil never thought much about it, but because of the VDC and his passion for dancing, a musical or dance career wouldn’t be so absurd to think of. You support him 100% in this and his courage grows more and more when thinking about these prospects for the future. One day, Jamil will dedicate a song just for you and he hopes you will carry it in your heart for the rest of your days together.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Once Jamil Viper, always Jamil Viper. In fact, it took Jamil a certain amount of time to feel comfortable revealing the most basic things about himself, then talking about the deepest things and the memories he feels most ashamed of. It's a whole process based on trust, you understand that well;
But Jamil is not the type to keep bad secrets. It's just things he feels embarrassed about and thinks you won't like him anymore if you find out. And when you find out or Jamil swallows the pride to tell you, it's not a really big deal. Your reactions make him have more security to talk more about himself;
And having secrets can be bothersome, Jamil knows from experience. You'll never have to worry about Jamil throwing a surprise party for you, at least. He likes to work on honesty, especially because it saves time knowing what you like and dislike;
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Jamil never thought much about it. Not that his parents’ marriage is bad or anything to divert him from the idea. He just never thought about getting married or having a family, something of his own. One thing that is more about his future than the Asim family. But a future of yours and his? Jamil begins to think about it more and more;
It was a beautiful night when he proposed. You were visiting Silk City and Jamil prepared dinner for you in the apartment. You two could see the sky through the window and there were candles everywhere. He knelt down, took your hand and said: “My greatest desire is to be with you forever.”;
It was a semi-traditional wedding. Kalim offered — in fact, simply resolved — to bear the expenses, but let the two of you choose everything. Najma was your maid of honor. You received many gifts and in the end Jamil showed you a traditional fireworks show. It was all so magical!
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
“Dear” is a simple and formal nickname. As it’s less flamboyant than “darling,” Jamil prefers to call you that at times. It is sufficiently personal and proper for the beginning of your relationship;
“Ya amar” means “my moon” in Arabic. When you already know more things from Jamil’s life, he shifts between using your name, calling you “dear” and this beautiful nickname from his homeland. It is more used to compliment someone's appearance but Jamil likes the symbolism of the moon and how you are just as beautiful;
“Ya hayati” means “my life” in Arabic. Jamil uses this nickname after you get married. For him, this meaning contains a great weight but is not a burden. You are his life, the house he wants to belong to. Because the love you give Jamil is the greatest freedom and the best alliance he could ever want.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Being the servant of a wealthy family and the personal page of their heir, Jamil is used to doing everything for someone, even giving his own life. But for you? For you, he would face the phenomenal cosmic powers of the universe alone without fear. You, who deigned to pay attention to him and inspire him so many good things;
Jamil is willing to accept himself more and open up more, both for you to know him and for you to be free together. He could not keep the chains that bind him to a meaningless life for long;
Jamil is the type to make things work out behind the scenes, so you may not even know what he's working on himself or working out for you to be together. But when you find out — eventually — that's a zeal that you do together, because you would also do anything for him.
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D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Leona was never one to worry about thinking about the future. Perhaps for all people have said to him in the past, dreaming of something great seems tiresome and useless. No one expects him to be the best at something. But now, there is someone;
For you, Leona manages to dream a little. Just the necessary, in his mind. You praise his talent in Magift so much that he almost thinks about being a pro player after graduating from school and getting a little out of his brother’s shadow. He could be called “King of Magift”, you suggested once;
No matter what your dreams are, Leona always says they are worth fighting for. He may not have much hope for himself, but he has all the confidence in you. So even if you live in the Royal Palace at some point, you can do whatever you want. And only suffering to those who complain about it like an annoying hornbill!
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Leona isn’t the most open person in the world, which doesn’t mean that he is full of secrets. There are, yes, things he would like to hide at all costs for the sake of pride or lack of ability to share. Leona talks about himself few times, although these little stories are already interesting in themselves;
Patience and persistence go together on the journey of knowing more about who Leona Kingscholar really is. You need to earn his trust, make him feel that you are a person in whom he can ask for solace and share his pains, memories and dreams. Whatever he wants;
And over time, you succeed. Very long indeed. Leona is as stubborn as he is direct about certain feelings. He’ll tell you some stories here and there, letting you fit the pieces of the puzzle. And other things you'll end up finding out for yourself — like, Ruggie will tell you about the day Lucius slept in Leona's belly and he just let it be.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
It is a duty of a prince to be prepared for any sort of marriage for political purposes for the well being of his country, that is a fact. And although Falena and his wife’s marriage was partially arranged, Leona knew they loved each other from the very beginning. It wouldn't be bad to wish for something like that either. “But am I worthy of it?,” that's what Leona's unconscious questions him;
Leona doesn't like to admit it but he planned his proposal for a while. It was a private meeting in a jungle region on the borders of Afterglow Savannah and in the middle of your river boat ride, Leona took out a gold ring and taking your hand, offered it to you: “The same way you say my kingdom is your heart, please reign in mine.”;
A royal wedding is majestic, no matter what your position is. It became practically a national holiday because the whole country stopped to watch you two get married. It was a wedding according to the customs of the kingdom, with a detailed but joyful ceremony. Perhaps one of the few formal things Leona really enjoyed, although he was happier when the ceremony ended. After all, he could finally kiss the love of his life and seal that commitment.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
For most of your pre-dating relationship, Leona has become accustomed to calling you “herbivore” in a pejorative way. Over time, your relationship changed and you knew Leona was serious about loving you when he called you by your first name. From time to time, he calls you “herbivore” but in a more affective tone;
“Ayanfe” in the Yoruba language (an Nigerian tribe) means “beloved”. Leona uses this nickname on very special occasions, this is because your name alone is already good enough for him. But to call you “beloved”? He hates to admit it, but he likes that sound. Since it is a neutral word, you can also call him that;
“Alade Ori Mi” is a neutral affective term in Yoruba that can be roughly translated as “owner of my crown”. Leona uses it in rare and specific situations after you get married, being more consolidated. For Leona, it is a term of quite importance and you can perceive it by the way he calls you, giving a beautiful and genuine smile.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
There were many things that were given to Leona without him striving for it and many more that he never received, even when he should and could. So it took him a long time to find the strength within himself to fight for you. After all, what could he do? It wasn't like he could take the sun in his hands and hand you over;
However, there comes a time when Leona wishes he could do it. And if this is impossible, he wants to repay you with small and big things. Without Leona fully realizing it, he is there running after you in the big desert of hardships that is life, doing his best to reach you. 'Cause you're his love and Leona doesn't want anyone to steal you from his hands;
Leona even once said that if it were necessary, he would give up the Crown for you. A life, a royal position of great importance, a palace, a kingdom of which he was already a part, all this is nothing if you are prevented from being next to him. You taught Leona that he can be the king himself and he would like to have you in this small and glorious kingdom.
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D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Azul has always been a boy of many dreams since he was little. He has gone through so many ideas of professions until he finally found himself as a business administrator or anything that requires an understanding of economics — or food as well. But when Azul grew up, he decided that it wasn’t necessary to dream anymore because he would make all his goals come true. Therefore, expanding Mostro Lounge is one of his biggest goals;
But having you by his side during this journey, having your support and love would make everything easier. The tweels may be Azul’s right and left arm but you’re his heart. You make him dream of blazing and conquering the “Seven Economy Seas” and how you can be together in this as a power couple;
Having you as a business partner would really be a dream, something that Azul would not deny for nothing. Working together would be wonderful and you two would never have to choose between prioritizing your beloved or work. Wouldn't that be a explendid business?
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Azul Ashengrotto doesn't keep secrets just like crabs don't conduct orchestras — oh wait. Not that this will surprise you much. Azul needs time to trust you no matter the aspects of your relationship. Therefore, the exchange of information and secrets is much more than simply talking about himself without hiding anything;
More than patience, you need to be honest with him first. Make him understand that he can trust you and that his secrets are safe with you. Talking about yourself opens that door to Azul. Carefully, he rewards your secrets for his own and so you walk slowly;
There will always be something new about Azul for you to discover. There are things that you will guess about him and when your guesses are right, he can only disguise how well you are informing yourself about him. But you let Azul have his secrets from time to time, because when the time comes, he will tell you everything.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
Azul perhaps doesn’t have the strongest opinions about marriage because of his parents’ divorce. It was a difficult time for everyone, including him. But, if his mother could find happiness again with his stepfather, that doesn't mean it's a bad deal. Be patient with Azul. At the right time, things will settle down;
In the future, Azul prepares a special dinner at Mostro Lounge — which is already a famous restaurant franchise at this time — and after delighting you with your favorite foods, dessert arrives. You were distracted by the beauty of the dessert and only then noticed that he was next to you, kneeling, with an oyster shell in his hand. Azul is more nervous than a cornered octopus, but he still finds the courage to say, “I swear by land and sea that my love is true and eternal.”;
You two discussed a lot about where the wedding venue would be until you came to the consensus that it would be on a ship in the middle of the sea. Apparently, a princess of the Coral Sea married in this way a long time ago. The Ashengrotto family and other merfolk guests were scattered across the sea and your friends were on the dry part of the ship. When your vows are over and you give your first married kiss, Azul takes you to the deck of the ship and you both take a potion to enter the sea. For you, it was to facilitate breathing in the sea and Azul returned to his true form, more confident about it after your support for all these years. He carries you in his arms and you jump into the water, where the party was just beginning.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
“My pearl” is the first nickname Azul gives you. Simple and precious, expensive and beautiful, just like you. With this, Azul also hopes to give some gifts with pearls to you in the future. This is because it is a precious jewel especially among merfolk and for Azul, it is the symbol of his love for you;
“Darling” is a more common and formal nickname, for simple situations — that because the tweels were filling Azul’s patience because of the first nickname he gave you;
“Amore” is a stronger, important nickname. It means “love” and Azul heard his stepfather and his mother call each other that way several times. He intends to use this with you when you both are their age, but sometimes he lets slip from time to time so you know how important you are to him already.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Azul really took the time to float his boat about the idea that love is not simply an exchange of services. Or a fair exchange all the time. There are times when someone will have to sacrifice something for the one they love or there are obstacles about themselves that it is necessary to overcome or tolerate in the name of the greater good. This will not always be delivered on time, it will not always be the same way;
But there comes a time when there is nowhere else to run away and Azul arrives at what is usually the most distressing part of any contract: to accept or not. And he accepts;
Azul accepts that he needs to swallow fears and overcome childhood traumas properly. He will not be able to escape from the sea and his own true form forever, masking everything and burning evidence. You have forgiven him for several things, including his slippery behavior. So getting over things or doing something for you is a small price to pay.
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goldencherryhazz · 2 years
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HARRY’S HOUSE
An: I am not mentally stable, but hi hope your okay and dealing with the fact that we are getting a new album in less than a 2 months!!!! Ahhhhh here’s a smutty and kinda fluffy one shot for you!
Warnings: sub!harry, oral male receiving, pillow humping (lmk if there any more!)
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The hustle and bustle of make up artists and hair stylists are all that you can see in the set where Harry would be shooting the cover of his new album, you couldn’t even see the man himself as he was swarmed as if he was the queen bee in a hive, making his already perfect self camera ready.
You support a cup of coffee you and Harry had acquired on the way there in your nimble hands trying to warm them up from the cold early February chill. Distracting yourself with the beauty and simplicity of the sofa and chairs attached to the ceiling of the makeshift room, you don’t even realise who had plopped down next to you on the adjacent sofa.
‘Hey baby’ he yawns out having gotten up quite early this morning for the shoot.
You spin round to look a him and that’s when your eyes go wide, he was clad in a pair of blue flared jeans, a flowy button up blouse and a pair of white pumps ‘you look soo beautiful’ you blurted out.
‘Thankyou baby, just a little outfit Lambert put together, didn’t want anything too extravagant, jus’ wanted something simple’
‘Where is he I need to give that man a medal or something’ he laughs at that making people look to both of you, smiling to themselves at how happy the two of you seemed.
‘Well he’s here somewhere, going to start in a minute I think, should take too long though’
‘Take all the time you need bub, it’s your album, I will sit here all day if I get to watch you pose and wear pretty clothes’ you reach out to flatten his collar the fabric soft to the touch, and as you begin to retract your hand he presses a wet kiss the the back of it.
‘I really appreciate that your here y’know’ his eyes go soft as he stares into yours and you knew how sincere he was with his statement.
‘You don’t have to thank me H, I love being here with you wouldn’t change if for the world’
‘But I do baby, album wouldn’t be here without you, wouldn’t know what to write about’
‘Im sure you would be able to H, too talented not to’
‘No don’t think I possibly could’ he says putting on a posh accent placing the back of his hand to his forehead, leaning to the back of the sofa dramatically.
‘So silly H’ you lean over to press a kiss to his rosy cheek but Harry turns his head to catch your lips in a kiss instead, you instantly kiss him back but quickly get interrupted by Jeff asking Harry to get set up. You pull away knowing that Jeff was staring right at you and you catch a few other lingering eyes making the heat rise to both of your cheeks.
‘Go rockstar, I’ll be here the entire time’ your reassure him knowing that he can sometimes get a little shy when he’s at the other end of a camera lense doing shoots like these.
‘Okay, love youuuuu’ he drags on the ‘u’ making you laugh at how cute he was, quickly responding with the same three words.
———————-
The shoot concluded after over an hour of Harry doing different poses, positioning himself at different points in the room and getting told off by the people behind the cameras to stop staring trying to get the desired shot of him looking down the lense, but the photographers seem to be happy with the results after a while.
You weren’t going to lie when you said that you were itching to get your hands on Harry, the different poses he was doing made your tummy flutter. If he moves in a certain way a draft would lift the end of his flowy blouse up exposing the lowers potions of his tummy sent you slightly feral.
Being Harry’s girlfriend also meant that you were also one of the first people to get to see the final result, so as Harry sat down to rest his tired legs you look in awe at the pictures of the screen, you couldn’t get your head around how effortlessly pretty he was.
You thank the photographer because the poor man had been stood there for 10 minutes as you gawked at you boyfriend. You make your way over to where Harry was perched, taking big gulps from his water bottle. You stand in front of his tousling his curls, but before you have the chance to say anything he is standing up and grabbing your hand pulling you to the direction of the door leading out of the room.
‘Where we going bub’
‘Need you’ he says a little too loudly for it to not be mistaken for anything else, you whip you head around to see if anyone had heard Harry’s plead but to you find that everyone was conversing and praising Harry not even flicking a glance to where you two were going.
You exit the room and he leads you to a room down a narrow corridor, Harry doesn’t even check to see what room he was going into before he’s swinging open the door and to his luck there is nothing in there except for a couple of sofas and a coffee table.
He swings the door shut and you note that there wasn’t a lock, exciting you even further. He pushes you against the door leaning in to place chaste kisses to your lips and neck sucking hickeys wherever he can, the lack of words would have been concerning to probably most people but you don’t need to hear his voice to know how needy he is for you, his usually green eyes almost black with desire.
‘Where do you need me baby’ you ask taking control of the situation, flipping round so that his back was now pressed to the door, your top of your thigh subtly pressing down on the tent in his flares jeans and he almost moans out at the contact.
‘Want your mouth, please can I have it’ he whimpers out, now trying to dig his hips against your thigh trying to relieve the ache in his cock.
‘Where baby? You want my mouth here?’ You run a finger along his bottom lip, to which he shakes his head.
‘Here?’ You drag your hand down to his chest, thumb rubbing over his perk nipple through the blouse, Harry whines out but continues to shake his head.
‘Oh I think I know where you want me now.’ Dauntingly Sloan you run you hand down from his chest tracing over his butterfly tattoo before tracing a single finger over his happy trail, and finally what after seems like hours to Harry you finally cup a hand over his cock, making him moan out in affirmation the roughy fabric thick but your touch was sending shocks throughout his body.
You have to but you lip to conceal the smirk at Harry’s reaction, you loved it when he was like this, subby and ready to let you take care of him, which happened a lot when he was tired from a long day and just wanted relief, but you wish he was like that more, it made you incredibly wet pleasuring him, the moans and whines he would let out would go straight to your core.
‘Take you jeans off for me baby’ you go to help him undo the zip and pull them down until that are pooling around his ankles, not surprised at the lack of boxer briefs. You can physically feel the relief as Harry’s cock is released from its confines no longer being suffocated by the denim.
‘Sit down then angel, and I promise I will take care of you.’ He does as he’s told like an obedient little puppy, his doe eyes follow your movement as you take of you shirt exposing the baby blue lace bra, a colour which Harry had favourited.
‘Y’look so good’ he moans as you get on you knees between his spread legs, pushing your tits up in the bra as you reach to grasp his cock.
‘What got you this hard baby? Your leaking soo much, making a mess of yourself.’ You coo at him running a finger along the top of the head of his cock collecting some of the leaking pre cum on the end of it before bringing it back to your mouth, letting the salty liquid spread over your taste buds. The action making his cock twitch with need.
He continues to watch you, trying not to cum at the mere sight of you before him trying to formulate an answer in his head but you beat him too it once again.
‘Think I know what it is? All those people watching you pose for the camera, then praising you for how pretty you look, that’s what got you into this mess isn’t it.’ You said already knowing the answer, it was well knows that he was narcissistic and has an ever growing praise kink, on tour the screams and praise of the audience mixed with adrenaline never failed to get the blood pumping straight to his cock.
‘Ye-yes that’s it, but not only that, it was because you was there, love it when you watch me posing and dressing all nice, love it when you call me pretty.’ He accentuates his point with a thrust upwards trying to get some type of friction with no real sense of direction.
‘Such a good boy, think you’ve been waiting long enough haven’t you, bet your cock ls aching for me.’ You don’t give him any time to agree as you behind to pump the angry red tip all the way down to the base, the moan he lays out fills the room and you should tell him to keep quiet but honestly didn’t give a shit if anyone was outside that door right now, and anyway Harry always found exhibitionism exciting.
You are pumping his cock at in fast strokes, focusing on the head at time by rubbing your thumb over it. You then decide to give Harry what he really wanted as you bring your mouth down to his cock beginning to suck the sensitive he’s and that alone has him writhing in his seat ‘fuck angel that’s soo good’ he whimpers gripping onto anything his hand lays on.
At this point you are also desperate for a release, the throbbing in your clit hasn’t gone away since you entered the room so in quick decision you grab a cushion leant against the armrest and place it between your legs on the floor. Angling it to press a delicious pressure against your clit, and even through leggings it has you digging your hips down greedily. You continue to take Harry into your mouth, his moans seemed to increase the further you took him and let’s be fair he was partially down your throat at this point.
‘Shit I’m gonna cum soon, feels too good’ his eyes roll to the back of his head as you continue to bob your head up and down containing your gags, you moan around his cock as the pleasure from humping the pillow becomes too much bringing Harry even closer to the edge.
‘Gonna cum with me, I’m so close’ you whimper pulling off of his cock to try and maintain your breathing.
Knowing how to get him to fall over the edge you keep pumping his cock with one hand and with the other you reach up to his chest taking one of his nipples between your fingers and tweaking it, the soft fabric of the blouse against his nipples was heavenly and sent shock waves through his body.
‘Fuck I’m cum-cumming’ he barely finished his sentence as he begins to spurt warm spurts of cum all over you hand and his thigh, your moans reach their peak as you dig your hips down one last time into the cushion cumming hard, soaking you panties even further with your release, you high being more intense then usual because of the pleasure you got from making Harry feel good.
You continue to pump Harry to ride out his high and milk his cock for all it worth, ‘that’s it baby get it all out’ you encourage as he whines as he spurts out even more cum onto your hand and you can wait to clear it all up.
‘Shit- s-so sensitive’ he begins to writhe in his seat and you stop pumping him not wanting to overstimulate him too much.
‘Did soo good baby, came so hard for me.’ You revel as you begin to lap up the warm cum that covered you hand.
‘Feel soo good and floaty’ he whispers out closing his eyes as he rests his head on the back of the sofa making no move to get re dressed, not giving one shit that anyone could be looking for him right now, and could even walk in at that very moment.
‘Thankyou angel’ he says leaning down to press a kiss to your lips tasting his cum in your tongue.
‘No need to thank me, think you should rethink the photos for the album cover though, because even though you look pretty in those ones we have you look even prettier when you cum’
You smirk up at him, kissing his ever growing red cheeks and all he can think is how much he loves the girls that inspired his new album and was the muse for all the ones before that.
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