#but now........ now my grandma's brother has come and guess what! he's a priest.

[t4tbedehopmar]

there is no way i have to go to church tmrw.

[oneofyatosfollowers]

Yatori Week Day 7- Fluff/AU

@yatoriweek2020

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25401826/chapters/61945465

Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13648502/1/Yatori-Week-2020

The last of the autumn leaves were starting to fall, signalling winter's imminent arrival. With the colder winds brought in a chill that settled into her grandmother's bones, and a severe lack of cheap supplies. Hiyori did the best she could to prepare, using the book her brother left that contained her late father's medicines. She worked well into the night after buying and selling produce in the town down the hill. It was tiring and- as much as it hurt Hiyori to admit- it was fruitless. Her grandmother's cough was getting worse and her body weaker. Still, Hiyori persisted.

"Here," Hiyori spooned some medicine into her grandmother's mouth, "the herbs are fresh so it should be stronger." She winced when the old woman made a twisted face. Behind her, a small newt-like creature tried to copy the same face and Hiyori giggled at it.

"Hiyori, you should really worry about yourself more. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it through the winter-"

"-Grandma, not this again. The medications have been helping you feel better, haven't they?' Hiyori couldn't keep the grief out of her voice, the lines of her distressed face hardly easing when her grandmother placed a hand over hers.

"You didn't let me finish. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it through winter without magic," she breathed. Hiyori's eyebrows raised at the whimsical way the word was said. It was known in the family that the women of her family were very attuned with the supernatural, her brother an odd exception, but it's not like her family knew any spells?

"Do you know?" Hiyori swallowed her excitement.

"No, no," her grandmother chuckled, "I never received any sort of training. Not like the magus on the hill and his apprentice." She winked at Hiyori when her eyes dawned with understanding.

The magus on the hill was a local legend that is said to be over one-thousand years old. He's a recluce that only lets certain people meet him and will only offer help if a price can be met. More is known about his apprentice, a young teen who is also said to be immortal. He runs most of the magus's errands in and out of town and is said to be very polite, unlike his mentor.

"But we don't have," Hiyori bit her lip. Her father was once a well-to-do doctor in town but after he passed money- and her brother vanished- support for her grandmother began running thin. At the reminder her grandmother's face fell a bit.

"Ask his apprentice what he wants. Do not speak to that abomination directly," her grandmother's scorn was gone as soon as it came, "But that boy is an absolute dear, I happen to quite like him. Make sure you talk to him about medicine. Not that defilement of magic." Her grandmother smiled, pleased with her orders, leaving Hiyori to only nod dumbly.

Despite the rumors, Hiyori brought her jar of savings to the flower shop the next day. Somehow her grandmother knew the apprentice had Sundays off from his errands, and that he preferred to spend them here. She sat across the cobblestone street and waited. Not knowing what the apprentice actually looked like, Hiyori figured she would know a magic-student when she saw them. Suddenly a cart crossed in front of her, two boys pushing the pots of plants as they talked.

"Thanks for helping on your day off, we had to move these out of the church yard to make room for more graves," the one with brown hair said.

"It's not a problem! That guy has been nose-deep in making a new chapter in his crazy, infinite spell book so he hardly noticed me slinking off. Besides, it's my day off!" A blonde boy beamed at his friend and Hiyori nearly dropped her jaw. She knew he was young but he was just barely a teen at all! On top of that he looked totally normal! Hiyori couldn't sense anything out of the ordinary with the blonde. Not one to mull over appearance, Hiyori stood and made her away across the street.

"Excuse me," Hiyori stopped them, she recognized the brown-haired man as the local priest but still looked to the blonde, "are you the apprentice?" She watched them share a glance before the boy looked her up and down.

"Who's asking?" he said as politely as possible. But there was something else. Out of the corner of her eye, Hiyori saw his shadow writhe along the ground for just a moment.

"This is Hiyori Iki," the priest, Kazuma, said. He nodded to her and Hiyori nodded back in greeting.

"She's the daughter of our town's late doctor," Kazuma explained to the kid before turning to her, "I'm guessing you're here for your grandmother?" His eyes dropped to the change jar in her hands along with the rest. Hiyori bit her lip and nodded, clutching the jar tightly as Kazuma continued.

"I'm sorry. Once I drop these off I'll go pay her a visit," he promised.

"Thank you very much," Hiyori bowed slightly.

"Please ask him to help her. As a favor from me," Kazuma said to the apprentice. The blonde looked her up and down, less guarded than before, and then nodded. They waved to the priest as he continued through town, then Hiyori was gestured to follow. No one speaked as they made their way to the country road, passing by Hiyori's house and heading up a large hill through the trees. As they got closer, the apprentice seemed to move more than necessary as he whispered to himself.

"May I ask for your name?" Hiyori asked, hoping some kindness would soothe her growing anxiety.

"Oh! It's Yukine," the apprentice said, "sorry about that." He looked genuinely apologetic for his rudeness. Hiyori smiled more broadly and waved it off.

"It's fine." They walked in silence for a little longer, Yukine's whispering growing silent but was replaced with him trying to look at her. She pretended to ignore both him and his shadow.

"Can I ask you something?" Yukine questioned. They stopped just before the tree line, Yukine was looking over his shoulder at her, the darkened trees behind him making his shadow darker than the night sky.

"Yes?" Hiyori forced her smile, never showing fear.

"Can you," Yukine faltered for a moment, "I mean does this forest seem off to you? Do I?" He looked nervous, if not hopeful. Hiyori breathed out sigh of relief when she understood, a smile becoming much easier to wear.

"If you're asking if I'm in tune with magic, the answer is yes! I don't know how to do anything special, I just see the other creatures," Hiyori explained. She pointed over her head to a fairy floating over them, waving when the tiny lady cooed.

"Oh," Yukine turned around, completely relieved, "then my familiar can come out!" The apprentice didn't wait for a response. His shadow wiggled and shrunk in on itself, forming into a tight form that raised off the ground.

"This is Suzuha," Yukine bent down to pet the shadowy black cat that now wove around his feet.

"A familiar!" Hiyori gushed. She never saw one but this cat was definitely not of this world.

"Yeah he turns into his human form at night. I just didn't want you to be surprised," Yukine spoke much freer than before, happily strolling up the hill of dark thorny trees. Hiyori hung onto her calm as much as she could. Looking up, Hiyori saw the sunny sky had turned to night.

She was led through a stone wall and metal gate, the house in front of her a small cottage with a red roof. Planted on both sides were giant sakura trees, somehow in bloom. Yukine and Suzuha trotted up to the door. The moment they stepped on the entrance rug, the door opened to show a woman. Hiyori gasped at her beauty, she was petite with porcelain skin that blended into her white dress. Even with her covered head to toe, her black hair and black eyes stood out.

"Hi Nora!" Yukine greeted. The woman looked at him blankly for a moment before fixing her dead eyes on Hiyori. Was she the magus?

"This is a client for Yato," Yukine explained. Nora nodded and silently stepped aside, holding the door open for the other two to walk in. The house was perfectly neat and orderly, like it was cookie cut and ready to be sold. Hiyori bowed slightly in greeting, shocked when the short woman returned it.

"This is Nora, she's a banshee turned silky and somehow related to Yato? Also she's our live-in housekeeper." Yukine introduced. She turned to the side and pointed further into the house and down the hall at an open doorway on the right.

"Yato's in there? Okay thank you," Yukine turned to Hiyori, "You can follow Suzuha to the sitting room. Nora will make tea?" Yukine looked at her while she narrowed her eyes for a moment. He laughed awkwardly and let out a 'please' before she nodded. Hiyori tried to resist but the cat was already nudging her towards a living room. Yato must be the magus's name.

"Sorry about that, I wanted to let Yato know you were here. And put my coat away," Yukine explained when he came back. With his green parka away, Hiyori saw he was wearing a simple tee shirt and jeans.

"It's no trouble," Hiyori said, thanking Nora when tea was placed in front of them on fine china.

"So what's your request?" Yukine asked. Hiyori explained her grandmother's sickness, her symptoms and the types of medicine that worked best. While she was doing this, Yukine was nodding along while sparing glances at the hallway, clearly waiting for someone. He continued this even when making small talk after the request, Suzuha taking turns on both their laps. Hiyori flinched when the sound of a broken glass was heard and Yukine angrily stood.

"'Scuse me," he said, then marched down the hall. One-sided yelling echoed down the hall and Hiyori couldn't help but stand up. She krept down the seemingly normal hallway of the magus, almost reaching the door before Nora appeared out of nowhere and held a hand up.

"Is it dangerous?" Hiyori whispered to the woman. Only her eyes moved to look into the room, then back to Hiyori as she nodded.

"Her grandmother is sick you sweaty freak! Just put the- book- down for one damn second!" Yukine was hollering. There was an array of colored lighting flashing from inside the doorway and Hiyori could hear the swooshing and whooshing of air being moved unnaturally. Nora turned and knocked on the doorframe once, twice and Yukine's yelling seemed to stop. There was some whispering before Yukine's blonde hair popped out.

"Sorry. Just one more minute please," he forced a smile then disappeared back into the room. Hiyori felt herself clench at the thought of seeing such a 'defilement' as her grandmother put it. She snapped out of it when Nora was waving at her. The house seemed to grow quiet as she stepped forward and peaked into the room of the magus.

It was a pigsty! Clearly Nora was not allowed in this room because the array of various tables and stacks of books were in complete disarray! The shelves lining the room had various plants and creatures trapped between glass containers and various knick-knacks that she doubted were magic. Things of similar nature were even hung from the ceiling by thin rope, over top of a floor covered in scattered papers.

A normal-looking man trampled over them as he weaved around the objects, Yukine following after him like a nagging housewife. Unlike Yukine's normal clothing, this man wore a full-on black cloak with baggy sleeves and a single black glove. His hair was long and pitch black, it writhed in the air like fire as an invisible wind blew through it and a hovering book. He even had things floating after him, disintegrating into a large flask and mixing itself. The glass was brought in front of his face for a moment before he waved his finger and commanded a quill to write things down in the book.

"Hello?" Yukine bagered, "Customer? Job? You were supposed to be out there a while ago!" He didn't miss a beat when the magus crawled up on a table to reach something on a top shelf and knock over a towering pile of books. More things fell to the floor but didn't shatter, Yukine stopping them midair by frantically putting out his palm.

"She's here!" he hollard. The magus froze and so did his floating items, he very slowly looked over his shoulder. Air escaped her lungs when Hiyori became transfixed in eyes that definitely were not human. They were a crystal clear blue that glowed around a slitted pupil. The whites of his eyes were a light charcoal color the same color magic that surrounded his body.

"I told you," Yukine growled. The magus let his apprentice yank him off the table and shove him to Hiyori. She couldn't help but step back, even when he smiled with kanines that were too sharp, the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. There was something off about him, his presence, his existence. It felt wrong to her. His magic dissipated along with the dark-color of his eyes in a blink of an eye.

"So that old bat is sick, huh?" Yato said with hands on his hips. She flinched along with Yukine, clearly the hatred with her grandmother was not one-sided.

"Yes. I have money," Hiyori showed him the jar, shaking the coins. The noise caught his attention and he looked at it.

"Tell ya what, I'll take this little coin here and let Yukine go take a peak." Yato pulled out an inexpensive coin and rolled it over his fingers before it disappeared like some cheap magic trick.

"Me?" Yukine spluttered. He came forward to look up at his mentor with big eyes, biting his lower lip to show nervous eagerness.

"Yes you!" Yato beamed down at the kid, "This is a perfect job for you to do on your own! Besides, you're the one who wants to specialize in healing stuff." He waved off the two and gestured for his book to float towards him. Hiyori smiled slightly at the kid's obvious excitement then looked nervously at the back of Yato's head.

"What about payment?"

"We can discuss that once we figure out what we need to do." Black magic started to rise off Yato signaling the end of the conversation. Hiyori took one last look at the magus as Yukine excitedly tugged her out the door. Despite the rumors he looked not much older than her.

By the time they left her grandmother's house the sun was starting to go down. Yukine had been so kind to her grandmother, sitting down to talk to her about more than just her illness while he examined her. Her grandmother loved the company, asking Yukine a lot of questions about his life as a magus's apprentice. The air was light when they left, Yukine promising to walk Hiyori home when they were done discussing payment. However, Yukine was quiet on the way home. He walked with his hands in his coat pockets, hardly answering Hiyori's attempts at a conversation.

"So what did you find?" Hiyori stopped beating around the bush.

"Oh, uh," Yukine thought for a moment, "it's not a curse or anything magic like that." He flashed her a smile then quickly looked at the ground. Before Hiyori could press the issue, something manifested next to her and tapped her shoulder. Hiyori jumped back with a squeal.

"It's okay! It's just me, Suzuha!" The boy looked to be Yukine's age with straight black hair and cat-like hazel eyes. Hiyori sighed and gave him a smile, it was sun-down after all. Yukine lightly scowled his familiar who teased him back, then silence befell them again.

"Umm?" Hiyori tried again.

"There's not much we can do," Suzuha hummed with his hands behind his head.

"What?" Hiyori gasped.

"Suzuha!" Yukine chastised, whirling on his familiar who maintained his grin. Yukine glared as the cat-boy just shrugged then waved at Hiyori's nervous expression.

"We don't know that! It's just out of mine and Suzuha's knowledge," Yukine explained hastily. Stepping up the cheer, Yukine decided Nora would make them macaroons as they walked under the magic star-filled sky.

Nora was at the door to greet them again, face as stoic as ever. Yukine and Suzuha greet her as always, Hiyori giving her a better smile than before. Lights still flashed from the doorway ahead of them, just less than before. The noises however, were no longer wind but a low growling.

"Sounds like he's still in there," Suzuha comments as he strolled to the living room. Yukine stayed by Hiyori and eyed the doorway with minor hesitation.

"Is it safe?" He asked Nora. She looked down the hall and held up a finger, walking to knock on the frame again and enter the room. She poked her head out after a moment and pointed at Yukine. He told Hiyori to go and sit before making his way into the room. There was a heavy weight in the air and in her stomach as Hiyori sat with Suzuha and sipped on more tea.

"He wants to talk to you," Yukine came into the room, "alone." He didn't look too bothered by the idea but he picked up on Hiyori's discomfort.

"Don't worry. He's not dangerous but his magic is. That's why I made him put it all away to speak with you," Yukine looked proud of himself and Hiyori huffed a laugh as she stood. Nora led her down the hall again, letting Hiyori step into the room before the door was closed.

The room was much more calm than before. Yato still stood with his back to her, neck bent over a book while he skimmed over pages. He held up a finger before she could say anything, still mumbling to himself. Then Yato turned around with the same grin, hands placed on the table so he could recline.

"You're grandmother is not sick," Yato paused to gauge her reaction, "she's dying naturally." His statement hung in the air between them like she was the one put to death. Hiyori clenched her hands while her mouth opened and closed worthlessly. It hurt to hear, but somewhere deep down she knew. Knew there was a reason her grandmother grew weaker despite the array of medicine. But still, sorrow stung her heart as her lips quivered.

"So there's," Hiyori couldn't keep the anger lacing her voice, "nothing you can do?"

"I never said that," Yato shrugged. Scowling at her hopeful expression, Yato looked at the floor.

"I know some necromancy, but since that comes at the cost of another person I can assume you don't want that. I can also make her a familiar or a fae, but I can't guarantee she'll still be the same person you knew. The easiest way to keep her here with you is to make her a wand. Of course all these have consequences too." Yato counted on his fingers the possible "solutions" but the young woman's sinking expression told him that none of this is what he wanted to hear. He waved over a box of tissues when he heard her sniffle.

"There's really nothing that can be done?" Hiyori quivered. She took a tissue and Yato let her clean her face.

"Making her a staff would keep her spirit with you, while still letting her soul pass on. Like having her blessing." He frowned at her crying face, stepping closer to rub her arms up and down while keeping his distance. To his surprise, she didn't flinch or back away.

After she calmed down, Yato offered her a bed or some tea. Hiyori refused and let Nora lead her and Yukine out the door, Suzuha tiredly hiding in their shadows as they walked. Her grandmother was still awake when she got home, smiling in a sad way. It made sense she was able to sense her natural end. Hiyori sobbed that night, her grandmother petting her head and telling her it was an honor to be made a staff.

Her grandmother's death was still a decent way away, according to Suzuha who tapped on her window in the middle of the next night, so Hiyori spent as much time at home as she could. Another four days went by and her grandmother mentioned she should ask the magus how she should obtain a staff and what payment it would cost.

"Hiyori, you're here!" Yukine didn't hide his joy at seeing her, but he still gave his honest condolences. She was led back into the living room and was surprised to see Yato there in his robe and some pajama pants, lounging on the couch. He gave a questioned quirk of the eye-brow and waited for her to gather her thoughts.

"We decided on the staff." Hiyori stated.

"A magic staff?" Yukine parroted, looking between them.

"This solution only works because they both have a strong connection to our world," Yato explained as he gestured to them to sit. Yukine sat next to his mentor, drinking in the exception to the rule. Hiyori sat across from them with the same jar of coins on her lap.

"How does it work exactly? And what about payment?" Hiyori asked.

"First we will need to preserve a lock of her hair. Then once she dies we need to bury her with a tree seed. Once that tree grows- which I can move along- we will use its wood to carve the staff and infuse it with her hair. I'll do a little bit of magic, you'll do some chanting, and voila! She will be with you always. In spirit," Yato spoke so nonchalantly. Like people came to him wanting to save their loved ones all the time.

"Payment," Hiyori repeated through gritted teeth.

"For as long as you're in possession of your grandmother's staff," Yato grinned, "you will be my wife!" With his hands raised, Yato's eyes sparkled when he presented his price. There was a moment of stunned silence before Yukine squawked out in alarm. He berated the magus with a flurry of insults while Nora nonchalantly set down tea. Hiyori felt heat rise from her toes to the top of her head.

A wife? His wife? The wife to the magus? Sure it's not like she was seeing anyone or had any one in mind. But still! Wasn't he, like, centuries old? And who was he to just decide her grandmother was worth her hand? What kind of proposal was this anyway?

"Yato! What is wrong with you? You're wife? You're just gonna marry her? Some random girl off the streets? No offense," Yukine was fuming with a blush while Hiyori fought her own.

"I'll do it. Whatever it takes," Hiyori looked up from her clenched fists to the magus, "I'll be your bride." The room was on pause once again as Yukine and Suzuha looked to her with gobsmacked expressions while Yato's grin grew wider.

"Yato!" Yukine grabbed the magus by the collar and shook him while he shrugged. Looking over at the young woman, and her crestfallen expression, Yato's teasing dropped a little.

"You know, I won't take the payment until after it's done," Yato said. Hiyori nodded and stood silently, announcing she will take her leave to spend her remaining days with the last family she has.

Unfortunately the two weeks until winter were not without the magus in her life. Apparently the job of an apprentice included delivering flowers and chocolates to your forced-fiance. Hiyori greeted Yukine at the door every time, her smile becoming smaller and smaller each time he invited her in. The gifts got smaller too, after Hiyori's agitated request.

"I'm so sorry he just was copying what little he's seen around town. He tends to go to the extreme but he really means well," Yukine said as he tried to fit a cupcake next to the chocolates in the fridge. Hiyori just sighed, she didn't know if she could handle a guy that was so clueless and excessive.

"You seem to know him well. You like him," Hiyori stated. Yukine flinched and a blush spread across his face.

"Yeah, well he's just awkward," Yukine huffed then looked at Hiyori, "I think it's time we ask for her hair, Hiyori."

The funeral came suddenly, on the day of the first snow barely four days later. Hiyori was the only family member there, her brother being out of reach for quite some time, but most of the town showed up. Kazuma led the gathering, Yukine and Suzuha using Yato's flowers as decoration. The magus stood far away, just outside the cemetery gate, ready and waiting to take her back to his house. It was a secret from everyone else that the woman being lowered into the ground was an illusion spell from the magus. The old woman's real body was buried at the bottom of the hill with a tree already sprouting.

Yato, Yukine, and Suzuha walked her back to the house after it was over, her home no longer relevant. Stopping at the tree, Yato said he would be working on it for a couple hours while the boys took Hiyori to get settled. All her things had been teleported into a room that would be hers and Nora was drawing her a bath. Hiyori numbly looked around her new room, surprised by how nice it looked. Normal compared to the other rooms. Her dresser was filled with double the clothes she owned before, expensive articles including her own. There were even a couple nicely kept potted plants to add some color.

"He wants you to be comfortable," Suzuha said from the windowsill.

"But why?" Hiyori looked to the cat, "And why does he want a wife?"

"Can't tell you. Why don't you ask him?"

"Ask him? Just like that?"

"Why not? You are his fiance," the cat shrugged. It made sense but Hiyori still grimaced. It wasn't that the magus was unapproachable, the opposite, he was very welcoming and offered Hiyori everything and anything, giving her space to adjust.

"What about Yukine?" Hiyori asked.

"Studying. You shouldn't bother him, especially since you're human." Suzuha curled in on himself in the sunlight, signalling the end of the conversation. Quietly padding down the hall, Hiyori peaked into Yukine's bedroom across from hers to see him bent over a desk, mumbling to himself. He looked like his mentor so Hiyori doubted she would be able to get his attention.

"Nora," Hiyori greeted the fae in the kitchen, "where's, uh, where's Yato?" If Nora noticed Hiyori's embarrassment she didn't comment. The silky looked through the doorway to the living room then back at Hiyori.

"Thank you." Hiyori walked into the living room to see Yato on the couch with an array of fabric rolled out along the table and chairs.

"Good afternoon, Hiyori," Yato smiled, "are you settling in well?"

"Yes, thank you." She took a seat on the couch and looked at his hands as he hand-sewed some red fabric.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Hiyori asked. Yato looked up from his work with a puzzled expression.

"I'm finishing up your clothes."

"You made those?" Hiyori's yelp startled the magus and he suddenly looked guilty.

"Well you can't conjure your own clothes. I mean they are useful gifts- unlike the flowers- and they're less over-the-top? Is it too much again?" He sounded so unsure Hiyori couldn't help but pity him. And smile at his adorable naivete.

"They're very nice, thank you. I'm just surprised you made them by hand," Hiyori looked down at his hand, "literally." She watched Yato's wide-eyes flicker from her own to the needle in his hand and back to her. Then he laughed, an echoey sort of sound but jovial nonetheless, it surprised Hiyori before she laughed too.

"Do you like the color?" Yato asked like a child.

"Yes," Hiyori giggled. They fell into comfortable silence as he worked, explaining what he was doing now and again, as well as answering her questions. The coo-coo-clock ticked on over the fireplace.

"Why did you make a bride?" Hiyori finally asked, "Why do you want a wife?"

"It's complicated." Yato spoke after a moment, "It's not so much that I want a wife, not that I mind, it's more that I want a female caretaker for Yukine. A human roll model that was a part of the family but could still understand our world." Yato explained.

"For Yukine?" Hiyori breathed. Sure, she liked the kid. Her and Yukine got along great and she could really see him as a good friend or even a little brother. Of course Yato didn't say mother, not at all, but something still didn't fit.

"Why- do you think he needs," Hiyori tapered off, but Yato still understood.

"Yukine used to be human. In fact he was like you, inclined towards the supernatural. When I found him he had given up on humanity, given up on himself, he was already on the verge of death. I saw a small hint of myself in him so I offered to save him. I offered him similar things I offered you. He asked if I would stay with him, stay by his side forever, so that's what I did." Yato put down his project and held up his gloved hand, pulling it off to show a blacked hand and wrist. Hiyori gasped.

"I gave him a chunk of myself to grant him immortality and magic. I brought him back to life and bound him to me. It took some time but he was happy, learning and living with me and Nora, but was clear he wasn't fulfilled. I don't think it's that he misses his humanity, but it's clear he still mourns what the humans have. What he never had," Yato looked up at her, "I want to give him that. A family."

"Yukine is happy with you," Hiyori smiled fondly. Yato sputtered with a red face and picked up the clothes, yelping when he pricked himself.

"Yeah, well, even I'm not so socially inept that I think I can replace a woman's warmth," Yato's tone fell, "he's a sweet kid and deserves to rely on someone warmer. Softer." He refused to look at her while she thought, warmth spreading through their bodies.

"What about you?" Hiyori asked.

"Me?"

"Do you want a family?"

"I was- never really- conditioned to the thought. I'm not human so I never had that instinct. But, uh, I like how things are," Yato grinned back at her, "not that I would be opposed to having a pretty human like you around to care for me." He flashed her a cheesy wink that had Hiyori giggling through her blush.

"What about you? Don't human women start working towards that white-picket fence around now?" Yato's question was one Hiyori fielded a lot. Normally it bothered her but the way Yato asked, with such clear ignorance and honest curiosity, she couldn't help but take the question seriously.

"I always had my family, my grandmother in particular. The idea of being a mother or a wife was just something I assumed would happen one day? I didn't plan for it but I was never against the idea," Hiyori beamed at the magus, "I honestly never thought it would turn out like this, but now that I understand, it's the best I could have hoped for!" Her seneier answer added a splash of red to Yato's cheeks, his wide-eyes stared at her for a moment as they flickered with emotion and magic. Then he scoffed out a laugh and Hiyori found herself smiling.

They sat in comfortable silence again and Hiyori finally berated the damn-full of questions Hiyori had about his world, her family's interest. He avoided questions about himself but would go into extreme detail about everything and anything that wasn't dangerous for a human to know, especially about Yukine. Now and again, he would ask her questions too, about her life. He even promised to try and find her missing brother, who went on some magic exhibition and was never heard from again. As Hiyori tried on another vintage-looking dress, Hiyori decided to tease him back.

"Yukine was right, you really don't get out much," Hiyori snickered at his objections, "guess I'll just have to be your teacher too." Looking over her shoulder, she saw Yato staring up at her with pins clenched between his teeth. He suddenly dropped the hem of her dress and walked to the other end of the room. Mood gone, Hiyori sucked in a gasp, worried she had offended the magus.

She couldn't force any words out of her mouth as he opened the drawer to a cheveret. Yato walked back over, his footsteps making no sound, and showed her his closed fist. Something pink and glittery caught her eye and Hiyori identified it as a necklace. The chain was silver along with the small branch of a sakura tree that hung horizontal. On it we're beautiful pink blossoms who's color seems to swirl around itself. Dark pink anthers that stood from the center of each floor moved like they were alive, winking in and out like sparkles off of a diamond. The entire thing was so detailed, like he took a silver branch of the tree outside and strunk it down.

"It's beautiful. Is it for me?" Hiyori breathed. She looked up to see Yato nod.

"I know it's human custom to give a ring, but I thought I'd add my own personal touch. Since this marriage isn't exactly commonplace," Yato said. Taking it out of his hand, he wrapped the ends of the chain around her neck, slowly and gently, like she was being hugged by a ghost. She felt his gloved hand move her hair a little as he clasped it, causing her to shiver. This was the closest she's ever stood to her fiance.

"It's magic, obviously. The chain can't be broken by anything and it can only be removed by hand, by the people in this house. It will protect you," Yato explained, "also, I thought you might try to run away after you got your staff so this necklace will always tell me where you are." Yato dropped his hands after it was secure, the branch falling just under her collar bones, light and warm. The magus didn't step away and Hiyori didn't want him to.

"Thank you," Hiyori said, then looking up at him, "I won't run away from you. Or Yukine." Hiyori watched his blue eyes shimmer again, this time with the telltale sign of hope and suffering. She didn't realize it until he flinched, but she grabbed his hands, her fingers curling into his while she spoke. One hand was significantly warmer than the other, but they were both cold. Especially compared to the small smile Yato now wore.

"I appreciate that, Hiyori. And I'll be using these measurements for your wedding dress." His laugher once again rang through the home as Hiyori shrieked and chased him, angry with embarrassment. Nora and Yukine both had to poke their heads in and tell them to quiet down already.

Her grandmother's tree was ready to take from by the time spring rolled around. She had grown into a willow tree, with pink and white blossoms that rivaled Yato's sakuras. Yukine helped Hiyori with the process, instructing her on how to carve it as that was only something she could do, then healing the branch's stump. They let Yato weave in the hair fibers, it's addition causing the wood to become a light grey. It came up to her waist, the top of it curving into a small bird for her namesake. Much to everyone's embarrassment, Hiyori selected blue orbs for the eyes.

Her wedding to the magus on the hill was held shortly after. Hiyori waited impatiently in her room for Nora to bring up her dress. Yato stubbornly denied the custom of the groom not seeing the dress and instead refused for Hiyori to even take a peek; going as far as placing it in a pocket dimension when she tried to snoop for it. She also hasn't seen her fiance, or Yukine, since last night. The apprentice opted to help his mentor prepare while leaving his familiar to set up the altar under the willow tree.

"Come in!" Hiyori answered to a knock, rushing over to open the door anyway. Nora stood there with the dress in her arms, a small smile gracing her features. It was beautiful, sewn flowers lining the straps and the sweet-heart neckline. The flowers would bunch around her midsection, then branch out along the rest of the dress. It would hug her curves before flaring out slightly into layers, ending in lace with it's flowers tipped with pink.

Giddy, Hiyori got settled in the vanity chair while Nora neatly laid the dress neatly on the bed. The silky came over and got to work on her hair, brushing it neatly while Hiyori tried to probe answers. Nora was tightly lipped and impossible to read, but their growing friendship let Hiyori get a couple of nods or shakes of the head here and there. Next came her make-up, which Nora used some magic to make it absolutely perfect.

"Thank you so much, Nora." Hiyori said. Putting the dress on, Hiyori was happy to see it fit her like a glove, practically moving to form her body then settling like a second skin. The more time she spent here in this house, with this odd family, the more at home Hiyori felt. Once the purpose of this union was cleared up and she got to know her fiance better, Hiyori was content with this outcome. Almost looking forward to being a part of another family that understood her.

"We're ready," Suzuha knocked on the door.

"Okay!" Hiyori smoothed out the ruffles and slipped on matching flats and long gloves. At the door, Nora's smile was still on as she opened the door to reveal Suzuha in a black tux. He flashed a sharp grin and held out his elbow.

"Milady," Suzuha bowed to Nora, "mi-flower-lady." He waited for Hiyori to grab her grandmother's staff, then lead her out the door. Nora disappeared but Hiyori figured she would beat them there.

"You excited?" Suzuha spoke as they walked down the hill under the starry-sky.

"Yes," Hiyori answered honestly. She squeezed the boy's arm tight as the pink willow came into view. Nora stood at the front of the tree, this time in a soft pink dress with red accents. She pulled back the branches and walked through just as Hiyori reached her. Hiyori followed the silky as she threw the flowers of her grandmother's tree on the fresh grass. When the silky moved aside at the end of the isle Hiyori was greeted with a breathtaking scene.

Her grandmother's branches were hung with white fabric streamers and glass orbs of fireflies. Two long white ribbons of tulle stretched from where Hiyori stood to the altar, held down with bunches of pink and purple flowers. At the end of the aisle, Kazuma stood behind a small wooden altar in his black priest outfit. To his left stood Yukine in a magus cloak identical to his mentor's and a red pillow with rings.

Across from him stood Yato, his black cloak buttoned over top of black trousers. His hair was combed back into a high pony-tail and his blue eyes never left hers. There was no music, instead the sound of crickets and chattering fairies came from just behind the curtain of flowers. Suddenly self-conscious, Hiyori looked down at the staff in her hands as she made her way to stand in front of the magus. Brown eyes kept flickering up to steady blue ones as Kazuma announced the matrimony to the supernaturals. She smiled at Yukine when he came to hand them the rings, catching his pure excitement.

Finally, Yato used his naked hand to bring up her own. His eyes finally dropped from her red face to watch as he slipped a silver ring onto her delicate finger. Quietly, Yato asked if she wanted to do his, or if he should just put it on. Much to everyone's happiness, Hiyori gave a bashful nod and slipped the band over his gloved hand.

"You may now, uh," Kazuma tapered off and looked confused between Yato and Hiyori. Yukine already jumped the gun and whirled around to hide his face while Suzuha peaked between his fingers.

"Don't worry, wifey," Yato gently lifted her hand in his glove, "we'll have plenty of time for that later." With a wink from magic eyes and a dangerous grin, the magus placed a kiss on her hand.

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 2

All right, time for the next episode! Following anime tropes, since the last one was scene-setting I’m guessing this one will be more world-building and backstory. Not a hard deduction, given the post-credits scenes of Baby Elrics. Onwards!

“Alchemy: The science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter.” Thanks for the definition! Caveat that it’s not an all-powerful art, though: You can’t create something out of nothing. To obtain something, something of equal value must be given. And what the heck is with all the creepy faces in what I guess is a blood drop? Anyways, that’s the Law of Equivalent Exchange...

Equivalent Exchange Count: 2

...cornerstone of Alchemy. Which leads to an Alchemy-wide taboo: Human transmutation is strictly forbidden.

First thought:

Abridged!Nail: “There’s a special ability our people share, forbidden even amongst our most sacred clans.” Abridged!Piccolo: “...and we’re just going to abuse it?” Abridged!Nail: “Oooh, maliciously!”

Second thought: And “human transmutation” means what, exactly? You can only cast on objects like walls or elements? Cause my understanding is that the body is an object too. Last episode I saw people launching boulders and summoning fire. What makes the body different?

“For what could equal the value of a human soul?”

… well ok then, question answered? Alchemy only works on inanimate objects? Maybe a stretch to boil the water of another person or manipulate your own blood, but nothing beyond that? In any case, souls in this setting are off-limits. You hear that, Incubator?!

I’d then ask why the Elrics would attempt this forbidden technique… but given the sight of the grave in the last episode, I’m afraid I can guess. This isn’t going to be a happy episode, is it?

Intro sequence! Second viewing I can recognize a few more people, and can tell the difference between Roy and Hughes this time. Still don’t know the names of some others.

Ah well, even if things get sad later we can have fun with captions now! “[train whistle] chugga chugga choo choo”. Ed’s scowling out the train window. Finally caught their ride out of the city that Mr. Freeze delayed? Al asks Ed about ‘this priest in Liore’, if the stories of his miracles are true. Ed doesn’t seem that convinced that someone can transmute flowers out of thin air, thinks it might just be slight of hand… but it could be the ���real thing”.

Flashback! Captions helpfully date Ed as Age 11, reading about a “celestial stone” that destroyed the Xerxes in one night. It goes by many names, but goes back to one consistent trait: some kind of object that amplifies alchemy. The Philosopher’s Stone.

Shot of Ed in a chair? Aw dang it’s after the botched Human Transmutation, isn’t it? Ed’s in a wheelchair sans arm and leg, and a big suit of armor’s sitting nearby. Ed’s saying that if they could get ahold of the Stone, they might be able to get Al’s body back. And then starts ranting about how the damn books tell everything but how to find it. Well, sure. If this Stone can actually subvert Equivalent Exchange, get something for nothing, it’d be the most valuable thing in the world. The only thing with value, really. Nobody’s going to write out “here’s a map to this priceless object” rather than go off and get it for themselves.

Flashpresent! Ed’s in a better mood now, says he has a good feeling about this one. Whelp, that settles it, this trip’s a bust. Buddy, it’s the second episode of a two-season show, and you just showed optimism. You’re doomed. Al just digs them deeper as the title comes up.

Episode 02: “The First Day”

Flashback, 10 years earlier in Resembool. A lady named Trisha is calling for Ed and Al. Momma Elric? She finds them *daaaaaawwww lookit the widdle babies with their books and chalk and dawww so cute!* Ahem. She finds them in their dad’s study, Little Al reading while Little Ed sketches out a Transmutation Circle. She says they shouldn’t scribble, but Little Ed says they weren’t and summons a small wooden bird in the circle with an electric shock. Trisha seems a bit shocked. Well, yeah? This is magic, in any setting an extremely dangerous tool, and these are a couple of kids, not even 11 since Little Al looks even younger than Wheelchair Al. Even Hogwarts knew better than to give kids wands before they were 11.

Trisha asks if their dad taught them that, Al fires back “How can he teach us anything if he’s not here?” Hmmm, that’s twice she’s said “Your Dad”, is she not actually Momma Elric? And dang, absent father already, that’s got to be a record. In any case, they just read the books. Oh, but Trisha’s happy about “her little geniuses”? So she is their mother? Yup, Ed’s saying Mom’s encouragement made them obsessed with learning alchemy.

But then, that same year, an epidemic came. And the sickness took her.

...Well dang, that’s what, thirty seconds screentime? What a ripoff, I was just getting to know Momma Elric! I demand more screentime!

(Edit: Oh good Alchemy why did I ask for this?!)

The Little Elrics are sitting in front of their mother’s grave. Little Al says that he’s cold and hungry, asks if they can go home. Once Dad gets back- Little Ed burst out yelling at the mention of Absent Dad, says that bastard doesn’t care about them. He didn’t even come for Momma Elric’s funeral? What the hell, Absent Dad?

So, yeah. Sad motherless kids sitting at a grave, sad music… and now comes the part I’ve been dreading, knowing that the Elrics are the way they are now from a botched human transmutation attempt. Little Ed suggests there might be a way to bring their mother back. Little Al says that all the books say that trying to make people using Alchemy is “A STUPID IDEA, DON’T DO THIS, SERIOUSLY DON’T”. Like, kids? I know it’s sad that your Mom died, but if it was possible to bring a person back using Alchemy, then there wouldn’t be any death in your setting rather than books saying “DON’T TRY IT IDIOT”. But no, Little Al says it’ll be their secret.

Someone named Winry thought she’d find them there? Oh, it’s the third Blond Kid! She says her Grandma says to not cry for lost loved ones, because it makes them feel sad in the next world too. Little Ed insists that they’re not crying, and that she cries anytime her own parents go somewhere. Little Winry insists that she doesn’t, Little Ed keeps teasing her. First off, if Momma Elric’s looking down she’s not very pleased with you teasing a girl in the shadow of her headstone, buster. Second, love interest? Because nothing says “potential love interest” between two anime children like teasing. Little Winry runs off saying she’ll tell her Grandma not to make them dinner, Little Ed immediately caves under the threat to his stomach and runs after her.

Later that night, all the kids are saying thanks for dinner at a house with an “AutoMail” sign out front. Ooh, is this where Ed got his metal parts from?

Granny - oh hey, it’s the lady with the dog from the intro! - says that Little Ed should drink his milk too. He refuses because he hates milk, she just says that if he doesn’t he’ll stay short forever. Ha! Whoa, and here’s a “You’re short!” “No, you’re short!” argument between the two. I like this Granny! Little Winry and Little Al are just eating their food with closed eyes that scream “I am so tired of you two.”

School bells! And the Blond Kids sound a bit older now but not Present age, I’ll call them Kid ____. Kid Winry’s asking about the weird books they’ve been reading in class, Kid Al says it’s a secret and Kid Ed’s a little less refined in his response. Kid Winry does not like this and pfft that is a silly face.

Later Kid Ed’s gushing about how the inventor of stew was a genius: it tastes good even though it has milk in it! But he might actually have a point: the leap of imagination to pour milk into soup for the first time? That’s how a scientist thinks!

I like how this setting is treating Alchemy as a science, all rules and stuff. For one, I get to have fun exploring the rules and trying to minmax it. For another, as much as I like some mystery in fantasy, I feel like it’s more impactful when you can grasp the reasoning behind it.

Although Kid Ed isn’t taking the best lesson from this, talking about how “all it takes is one leap”. Sure, some science comes in leaps, but you’ve gotta be careful where you land.

And so they studied, trained with a humourless-looking alchemy teacher, researched for years to see their Mom’s smile once more.

[optimistic, yet ominous music playing]. Well, that’s encouraging!

Kid Ed’s signing off on a piece of paper with a TC on it, says that they’re ready.

Gah crow! Ok, screw you show, did not need that. Guessing it’s sunset now, given how the spookily-angled house is in shades of red. I get it show, shit’s about to go down. Kid Ed’s reciting chemical amounts, pouring water and drawing out the TC. And finally, some “soul data”, aka blood.

Damnit, stop smiling boy. You don’t know it, but you’re about to cripple yourself and lose your brother in this effort.

The Elric Kids kneel by the TC, and there’s the noise of an eagle screeching as it lights up and starts sparking. Both boys look eagerly at the chemical mix in the center… and then start looking uncertain as the edge of the circle starts smoking and the light turns red. Not good. Al says something doesn’t feel right and music turns ominous as JESUS CHRIST THAT’S AN EYE.

A great big eye just opened up in the TC and oh no Al’s hand just shattered he’s screaming as small tendrils reach out. Ed screams as his own leg breaks and he falls down, seems shocked that it’s “a rebound”. And Al screams and screams as the tendrils tear away at him, his arm reaching for Ed is shattering and his face and

There’s a big black door against a white background, Kid Ed standing in front of it. Where is he? Kid Ed seems uncertain what he was just doing gah creepy voice. “Truth”? Kid Ed’s looking at a white humanoid form, specks of black around it. String instruments start plucking as Kid Ed asks who they are. Truth seems happy to be asked that, says that (she? voice seem female) is the world, the universe, God, Truth, all, one, and him. The door opens behind shocked Kid Ed and argh the Eye is back.

“You have dared to knock on the door. Now, the door is open.” Gah the tendrils are reaching for Kid Ed he tries to get away but they grab him and drag him back. Truth tells him to be quiet, isn’t this what he wanted? Kid Ed screams in terror as Truth says she’ll show him the truth, and then it slams shut. A piano plays as Kid Ed’s dragged down to streams of pictures. Present!Ed says that it was like all of the information in the world was being poured into his brain, he screams for it to stop. Pieces of him are flaking away… but he says for an instant, he was the truth of everything. Getting shades of black hole event horizon here.

The light solidifies as the form of Momma Elric, Kid Ed calls out to her. She reaches out

Kid Ed stands before the Door again, gasping for breath with hand still outstretched. Truth sounds smug as she asks “How was it?” I don’t think I like you, lady.

Kid Ed turns back to the door… and starts rambling that his theory wasn’t wrong, just missing something. Oh dear. Kid, your alchemy theory is great and all, but I think you have more pressing concerns, like the demon you just turned away from.

But Truth says she can’t show him anymore, all that was for the toll of his leg. And suddenly Truth has a smug mouth, says it’s the law of equivalent exchange-

EEC: 3

-and Kid Ed seems to come to gripping the bleeding stump of his leg by the sparking circle. Well, that ain’t good. And crap those are Kid Al’s empty clothes, he’s really gone isn’t he?... ok, all this badness is kinda being undercut by the bouncy, almost carnival-like music playing right now. What’s up with that?

Kid Ed cries about how Kid Al’s gone, how this wasn’t supposed to happen, calls for help, calls for Mom

Oh. Oh God.

The… the TC has stopped glowing. And in the middle there’s an overturned bucket and…

Something that I really hope isn’t alive.

Kid Ed, still bleeding profusely from his missing leg, knocks over the suit of armor and drags himself over saying that they won’t take Al too. Draws a bloody pentagram while calling out that they can take his leg, arm, heart, anything. And casts Alchemy.

…

Wow. Ok then, that was brutal.

Whoa, hold up, that was only the first half of the episode? Jeez, I wasn’t even looking at the time, what else is gonna happen?

Hmm, seems it’s the present again. Clipboard with file on Mr. Freeze? Ah, Hughes is surprised to see Roy still in Central, who says he’s heading back to Eastern Command in the afternoon. Hughes jokes that he expects Roy to come back with a promotion. He gives Roy the final report on Isaac McDougal/Mr. Freeze, since it… hasn’t reached his office yet? Any reason for that?

Roy checks it out, seems shocked to see “Xingese Alkahestry”. Hughes says it’s something “they” have. Who’s “they”? Neither of them know what it is. Something for later?

Walking down the hallway now, Hughes attempts conversation by asking how the Elrics are doing, Roy says that he’s their CO, not their father. Where is good old dad, anyways? Still not shown up? Hughes asks why Roy decided to make Ed a State Alchemist, even though he’s just a kid. Military life’s rough, after all. Roy doesn’t seem to say anything, just waves goodbye… but walking away he thinks that both boys have seen plenty of hell already.

Flashback, four years earlier. [epic strings] as a slightly younger Roy looks down at the bloody TC. Someone named Hawkeye asks Roy oh hey it’s that short-haired blonde lady who had his dry gloves, she reports they aren’t in back either. Roy demands to know where the Elric brothers are. Looks like the authorities know what they attempted. But seriously, Hawkeye? First Fury, now Hawkeye? How many other Avengers are we gonna get out of this?

At the AutoMail building, Granny tells the dog Den to not bark and opens the door- before Roy strides right past her. She chides him for barging in, but Roy just looks around… and sees Kid Ed sans arm and leg, wheelchair held by giant suit of armor with glowing eyes. Roy grabs Kid Ed by the shirt and yells at the shocked kid. Kid Ed lowers his head, and an armored hand gently grabs Roys arm and a far, far too young and sad voice says that they’re sorry, that they didn’t mean it what the HELL is wrong with this show?

Roy’s sitting at the table now talking to Granny as Kid Ed and Al stand by, says that he’d heard about a brilliant alchemist in town so he came to check them out. But he didn’t expect to find someone skilled enough to attempt Human Transmutation or bond a soul to armor. More than capable to become a State Alchemist. If he accepts the position, he’ll serve the military in times of national emergency, in return for privileges and access to restricted research materials, with the potential to recover their bodies, “or even more”. Well, that’s one hell of a carrot. What’s the stick?

Granny raps the table, says that after the boys arrived at her house she went over and saw that… thing. She says that alchemy created that abomination, nearly killed them, and now Roy wants to throw them headlong into it:?

Hawkeye is sitting in the living room, when Kid Winry offers her some tea. She then takes a seat and talks with the Lieutenant, who says to just call her Riza (thank goodness, I couldn’t take her seriously as just Hawkeye), who seems pleasant enough. But Winry seems too subdued for a handshake… and then asks if Riza has ever had to shoot anyone. Jeez, going for the heavy questions here.

Winry says that she hates what “you soldiers” do, that they’re the reason that her mom and dad left during the war, and the reason they’re dead. Um. Wow, ok. And now they’re there to take Ed and Al away too. But Riza says the decision to go will be theirs and theirs alone? Really? Cause here I was expecting a pretty sizable “You attempted a forbidden Alchemy so we have cause to lock you up and throw away the key” stick.

But no, it’s just an offer of a possibility, the chance to move forward rather than stay still. Sit in the chair and wallow in self-pity, or stand up and seize the chance of the military. Their choice, their own path. The slim hope of getting their bodies back. This doesn’t seem to be getting through Ed though, he’s staring ahead with dead eyes.

Winry seems thoughtful now, asks why Riza became a soldier. Riza just smiles and says that there’s someone she has to protect. Roy walks out and says they’re leaving, but Winry shakes Riza’s hand before they go. Roy seems confident that the Elric brothers will follow, but Riza says she’s never seen someone look so defeated. But Roy says he saw fire in those eyes.

Back to the present with [train whistle] chugga chugga chooooo. Aaaand back to the past, Granny asking if he’s sure they won’t regret it. Not why we needed a few seconds back with Present!Ed, but whatever. Kid Ed’s in an operating room now, looks like this is when he turns cyborg. Surgery and rehabilitation will take about three years. Determined Ed says that he’ll do it in one. Granny remarks that he’ll be spitting blood doing that, but he’s eager to get Al his body back soon.

[inspiring chamber music] as a longer-haired Ed spars with Al, trying out his automail arm and leg. Al remarks that he seems to be in perfect shape, and now to try alchemy… huh. Al is surprised and amazed that Ed can now perform alchemy without a TC, like their Teacher. But he can’t, and didn’t see the same Truth that Ed did.

...and then wrench to the head, from a frustrated Winry telling him not to mess up her automail. Heh, ok, after all the gah that’s been this episode, seeing this simple-drawn scared Al and beat-up Ed is a nice change of pace. Heh, and the snarking continues between Ed and the girl who made his automail. Ooh, and a smirking Al? Methinks there’s a shipper on deck!

At Central now, a man with the unfortunate designation of [Subordinate] remarks it’s unusual for Fuhrer Fury to observe the examinations, I assume for State Alchemists. But it’s also unusual for a 12-year-old take the test as well. Fury cheerfully asks about Ed’s automail arm, and Ed’s… confused about who this guy is? You’d think that he’d recognize the Boss, who his neighbor says is… ok, what? “Fuhrer King Bradley”? So the title is Fuhrer King? Pretentious much. Ed likewise does not seem that impressed with the title.

Fury starts the examination as Roy watches on, an Alchemist asks if Al needs something to draw with. [chugging adventure strings] start as Al casts on the ground, Roy is shocked to see he’s not even using a TC as he pulls a spear from the ground. Only Fury seems nothing more than cheerful as he remar- Ed what the hell are you doing? Ok, um. Ed just charged at Fury and got his spear to his neck, at gunpoint he remarks that the examination as is would be a good chance to take out a VIP. Yeah, “nerves of steel” is one way to put it Fury. But Fury walks off saying he still has much to learn about the world… and wow the tip of Ed’s spear just slid off. And now we see Fury walking off with sword drawn, cartoony “ha ha ha ha” symbols above him. Ok, legitimately impressed there. Fury is fast to put it mildly. When did he draw his sword?

Wind blowing the hair of an older-looking Winry, she’s standing next to Al. So Al’s not a State Alchemist, just traveling with Ed? Aw, but Winry’s asking if they’ll go away if Ed passes the exam and becomes a State Alchemist.

Oh, we don’t see the rest of the exam? Just Ed getting a silver pocket watch for his badge? And Fury shows his ironic streak, assigning Ed the code name of “Fullmetal”. Officially Ed is now known as “The Fullmetal Alchemist” (titledrop!). And aw no kid, don’t make that face. Yeah, the name is “nice and intimidating”, but thanks to my lovely commenters I understand the snark behind it.

Back to the train again! [thundering train sounds] chugga chugga. And Ed’s finally sleeping, before being woken by Al because they’re almost there. And yup that’s the cathedral we saw the Goths in last episode. Things are about to go down. Ed’s thinking “Could it really be there? The key to finally getting Al his body back… The Philosopher’s Stone!”

I’m gonna go with “No.”

Post Credits! In Liore, the Elric Brothers encounter Father Cornello, a priest who claims he can perform miracles. Ed does not seem impressed in this scene, though. A lady kneeling at an altar? “Blinded by his promises”, his followers fail to see the blood-red stone on his finger. Which… isn’t a Philosopher’s Stone, is it? Because seriously, there’s no way it can be the all-powerful macguffin this early. So what’s the secret?

Episode 03: “City of Heresy”

“What happiness can possibly be gained by looking away from the truth?”

[aikirooooo]

This week was physically draining. I haven’t been sleeping well or getting any exercise. Plus I picked up a vape again like a dumbass. Tbh vaping around my friends makes me pick up the habit again. I should stop hitting their vapes when I’m around them like Thomas lol.

Anyway, Lately, I’ve only been drawing for school right now which is fine, and it’s actually putting me on my ass but I love it. However, today I drew something after smoking a joint and taking a walk. Sometimes when I’m bored out of my mind (or being really unproductive), I would walk around the neighborhood around midnight and just ponder on stuff. I was struggling making a good portrait but I didn’t want to stop trying. I was attempting to apply what I know from the stuff I learned from class especially drawing heads.

Also I binged the shit out of Midnight Mass. Overall it’s good, but the writing kinda sucks in the middle lol. Sharif had this long ass monologue just to explain why a muslim shouldn’t pry into a catholic congregation that is passive aggressively racist to him. Bev is a fucking bitch. Monsignor Pruitt was a good complex character, he pulls of that eerily creepy priest vibe perfectly lol. Even the way he spoke was pretty spot on. I forgot the actress’s name who played Erin but she was also really good in Haunting of Hill House.

What else is on my mind today? I picked up my mom’s jewelry box, and I felt a little bit of sadness. More like melancholy. I definitely felt a number of emotions: sadness, satisfaction, hope. I was sad because it’s a reminder that my mom is no longer with us. I’ve still been questioning the impact this fact has on my family’s life. How it changed the trajectory of our future. I was relieved that we had gotten it back to begin with. Since I blocked out a lot of memories when I was going through getting out of my aunt’s house, I forgot a lot of things. I didn’t even know my mom’s jewelry box was even there. I thought my family had it somehow, but I guess not. I swear my family could be so melodramatic with these “oh i’m gonna withheld your mother’s precious jewelry until I die because I was too prideful to talk to any of my brothers and sisters instead of sending it back to her kids properly like an adult but instead I will keep it hidden somewhere and my partner will have instructions of how to find it when the ‘time comes.’”

And I felt hope. Because Amaia is here, and we can impart something physical to her that belonged to her grandma. Although she’ll never get to meet her, she’ll have some connection with her through her things.

Anyway too sleepy now.

[weekendwarriorblog]

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND May 17, 2019  - JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3, A DOG’S JOURNEY, THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR

Well, the summer is grinding along at a rather slow pace. Granted, it’s only the third or fourth official weekend, depending on when you started counting, and if you live in New York City, it doesn’t really feel like summer at all, but as has been the case since starting my beat at The Beat, I hope people will be reading this for the limited releases and repertory stuff, which I try to make fairly comprehensive and complete.

Normally, I wouldn’t be too impressed with Lionsgate’s decision to release Keanu Reeves’ JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM in the summer, but surprise, surprise, I actually liked this one. A LOT! I already reviewed the movie for The Beat, a review which you can read here, but I do think that most of the people who liked the first movie will like this one, too, as it adds the likes of Halle Berry, Asia Kate Dillon  (Orange is the New Black) and Mark Dacascos to flesh out the mythology while sending John Wick on the run as he’s excommunicated from the assassin’s guild.

I don’t have as much an opinion about the doggie sequel A DOG’S JOURNEY (Universal). I mean, I like dogs just fine, but I never got around to seeing A Dog’s Purpose, and I’m not sure I can follow this movie’s high-concept premise without having seen it. Apparently, a dog dies and then keeps coming back as another dog in order to protect Dennis Quaid’s daughter… no, I don’t get how that works either, but I’ll probably never see this.

The other movie I’ve seen which opens Friday is Ry Russo-Young’s THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR (Warner Bros./MGM), based on the novel by Nicola Yoon, starring Yara Shahidi (black-ish,grown-ish) and Charles Melton from Riverdale. If you know me at all, then you can probably guess that I’ve never seen those shows, but I have seen Russo-Young’s other films, and she’s a director that’s definitely grown on me as she’s taken on YA adaptations. I’m not going to write a full review of this one (due to time constraints and illness) but I was generally mixed on it. I thought the two young actors were fantastic, and this was a perfectly nice romantic film that generally used its New York locations well, but there were definitely parts where I was just bored and not that into the story. It’s a shame, because I usually buy into the whole fate and destiny thing, especially when it come to romance, but this one just gets silly at times.

You can find out what I think of the above film’s box office prospects over at The Beat.

LIMITED RELEASES

This is a very busy week for limited releases with a lot of things coming out of the woodwork at the last minute… and honestly, most of what I’ve seen is just okay, at best.

Jack O’Connell plays Cameron Todd Willingham in Ed Zwick’s TRIAL BY FIRE (Roadside Attractions), based on the true story of the Texas man accused of murdering his three young daughters via arson in 1991. He spent 12 years on Death Row before his case found its way to writer Elizabeth Gilbert, played by Laura Dern, who tries to negate the evidence against Willingham. I wanted to like this movie more than I did, because it is an interesting story with a decent script written by Oscar winner Geoffrey Fletcher (Precious), based on an article by New Yorker writer David Grann (apparently all of his articles become movies, so he has a good agent, huh?). The movie is generally okay, mainly due to the fantastic rounded performance by O’Connell but it’s also quite long-winded and didn’t need to be over two hours to get its point across.

Joanna Hogg’s autobiographical British indie THE SOUVENIR (A24) stars Honor Swinton Byrne (yes, that’s Tilda’s daughter) as film school student Julie who encounters and gets involved with a gregarious and opinionated older man named named Anthony (Tom Burke) who turns out to be a heroin junkie who effectively sabotages the film she’s trying to get made. While I can generally understand what Hogg was trying to do with this movie, I found it very long and drawn-out, and I was even more shocked to learn that this was meant to be the first of a two-part movie, but no, I won’t bother with Part 2 even if it does star Robert Pattinson, probably as another dick who tries to derail Julie’s career, cause that’s what men do.

The Lunchbox director Ritesh Batra returns to India for the romantic drama PHOTOGRAPH (Amazon) about Rafi (Nawazuddin Siddiqui), a man from a poor village who takes a picture of student named Miloni (Sanya Malhotra) and sends it to his grandma, saying it’s his new girlfriend, so she’ll get off his back about marrying. Rafi sends his grandma a picture of Miloni, but then has to convince Miloni to play along and meet his grandmother when she comes to Mumbai. As the two spend more time getting to know each other, a romance begins. It’s a nice movie, maybe not quite as great as The Lunchbox, but a nice date night movie for sure.

Opening at the Metrograph, which is in the midst of a Ryusuke Hamaguchi retrospective, is the Japanese filmmaker’s most recent film ASAKO I AND II (Grasshopper Films), based on the novel by Tomoka Shibasaki. It begins with a romance between a shy girl from (Asako, played by Erika Karata) who falls for a young man named Baku (Masahiro Higashide), who suddenly vanishes on her. She ends up moving to Tokyo and meeting another man named Ryohei, who is Baku’s spitting image – maybe because he’s also played by Higashide. A relationship develops between them until Asako learns what happened to Baku. This is definitely a strange but mostly satisfying romance story that would be a great date night double feature of Photograph.

From Sweden comes Pella Kagerman and Hugo Lilja’s sci-fi thriller ANIARA (Magnet Releasing), which takes place on the title spaceship which is taking the three-week journey to Mars full of thousands of passengers when it’s knocked off course. The problem is that it might take years to get back on course, which immediately throws everyone on board into a panic. At the center of it is Emelie Jonsson’s woman who runs a “Mima chamber” where people can go to relax, a chamber that gets increasingly more busy until it breaks down and then things just get completely crazy.  If you wondered what Passengersmight have been like if Gaspar Noe directed it then Aniarais the movie for you, but I did like Jonsson’s character arc as she ends up starting a relationship with a woman officer on the ship and where that story goes.

Karen Gillan stars in Collin Schiffli’s ALL CREATURES HERE BELOW (Samuel Goldwyn), which is written by and co-stars David Dastmalchian from Ant-Manand other films. It deals with a couple living in poverty, forcing him to break the law, as they set off to find refuge in Kansas City. I haven’t seen it but it sounds interesting with that casting.

Shirley Jackson’s 1962 mystery novel WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE (Brainstorm Media)is adapted by filmmaker Stacie Passon with an all-star cast including Taissa Farmiga, Alexandra Daddario, Sebastian Stan and Crispin Glover. Farmiga plays Merricat who lives with her sister Constance (Daddario) and uncle (Glover), the only survivors of a poisonic that killed the rest of their family five years earlier. When their cousin Charles (Stan) arrives, asking about the family’s finances, it begins a battle for control as tragedy looms.

Now playingat the Film Forum is The Third Wife (Film Movement), Ash Mayfair’s Vietnamese drama set in the 19th Century about a 14-year-old named May, who becomes the third wife of a much older man. With a mostly female cast and crew, the film has drawn comparisons to Zhang Yimou’s Raise the Red Lantern and some of the flashbacks in The Joy Luck Club (which I recently rewatched and cried my eyes out, but don’t tell anyone).

Then opening Friday at the Film Forum is Andrey Paunov’s documentary Walking on Water (Kino Lorber), about artist Christo and his late wife Jeanne-Claude, who had built some of the most amazing large-scale installations including the famous “The Gates” in Central Park and their most recent project “The Floating Piers” over Lake Iseo in Italy. The movie will open in L.A. and San Fran next Friday, May 24.

Johnny Depp stars in Wayne Roberts’ The Professor (Saban Films), a movie that seems to be getting dumped into theaters after a DirecTV release. Depp plays Richard, a college lecturer who discovers he has six months to live so he turns into a party animal, much to the shock of his wife (Rosemarie DeWitt) and chancellor (Ron Livingston). Also costarring Zoey Deutch, it opens in select cities.

Kevin and Michael Goetz’s A Violent Separation (Screen Media) stars Brenton Thwaites as Norman Young, deputy of a midwstern town who is forced to arrest his older brother Ray (Ben Robson) for murder. Things get more difficult when Norman gets involved with the victim’s younger sister (Alycia Debnam-Carey). It opens at New York’s Cinema Village and a few other theaters as well as On Demand.

Now playing at the Roxy Cinema in New York is Matt Hinton’s doc Parallel Love: The Story of a Band Called Luxury (Abramorama) about the small-town band Luxury, whose career almost ended in a wreck, but who continue to make records even as three members become priests.

Another music-related doc out this week is the Cordero Brothers thriller Room 37 - The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders (Cleopatra Entertainment), which as you might guess from the title is about famed rocker Johnny Thunders (Leo Ramsay) and how his trip to New Orleans to get his life together turned deadly.

This week’s Bollywood offering is Aki Ali’s De De Pyaar De, starring Ajay Devgn, Tabu and Rakul Preet Singh in a London-based love triangle.

Opening in New York this Friday, then in L.A. May 24 and VOD June 21 is Eddie Alcazar’s Perfect  (Breaker Films), exec. produced by Steven Soderbergh, which stars Garrett Wareing as a troubled young man sent to a clinic by his mother (Abbie Cornish) to help with his dark visions.

Next up is Rachel Carey’s Ask for Jane  (Level Film) starring Cait Cortelyou in a timely movie set in Chicago 1969 where abortion is punishable by prison and two women try to find a doctor to help a pregnant student at the University of Chicago has tried to kill herself. The two women end up forming the Jane Collective, an organization that helps women get safe abortions.

Asa Butterfield, Finn Cole, Hermione Corfield, Michael Sheen, Margot Robbie, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg star in Crispian Mills’ horror-comedy Slaughterhouse Rulez set in a British boarding school where monsters have been unleashed from a sinkhole. The movie was a hit in England but is barely getting a release in the States even with that amazing cast.

STREAMING AND CABLE

Not much of note on Netflix except Kate Melville’s rom-com Good Sam, a movie about a reporter who is trying to find a stranger who is leaving bags of money all around New York City.

I probably haven’t been paying enough attention to the streaming service MUBU, but in honor of the Cannes Film Festival that started this week, the service is doing a “Cannes Takeover” which includes Gus Van Sant’s Paranoid Park, Crisi Piu’s The Death of Mr. Lazarescu, Alejandro Innaritu’s Amores Perrosand other films that broke out of the French film festival.

REPERTORY

METROGRAPH (NYC):

Sci-fi author Samuel R. Delaney will be at the Metrograph for Delaneymania, a collection of films selected by him including This Island Earth (1955), Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal  (1957), Jean Cocteau’s Orpheus  (1950), as well as Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil: Director’s Cut  (1958). The series will also include Fred Barney Taylor’s doc about Delany called The Polymath and more. Playtime: Family Matinees is also getting involved into Delanwymania with screenings of The Boy with the Green Hair (1948) on Saturday and Sunday morning. Also this weekend is the firstMetrograph Book Fair of the year with lots of rare and vintage books and magazines on sale.This week’s Late Nites at Metrographincludes screenings of Michael Mann’s Thief  (1981) and more screenings of Gasar Noé’sClimax, which seems to be Metrograph’s new go-to movie. (Sorry, Carol!)

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Weds and Thursday seems double features of Elaine May’s Mikey & Nicky  (1976), starring Peter Falk and John Cassavetes, and Between the Lines (1977), while Friday and Saturday’s double feature is Martha Coolidge’s 1983 film Valley Girl (with Coolidge and special guests on Saturday!) and Sofia Coppola’s 1999 debut The Virgin Suicides.  The Sunday/Monday double feature is two from Dorothy Arzner, Merrily We Go To Hell (1932) and First Comes Courage(1943).Friday’s midnight is Tarantino and Rodriguez’s 2007 anthology Grindhouse, while Saturday at midnight, you have another chance to watch The Love Witch from 2016.  The weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is Agnieszka Holland’s 1993 film The Secret Garden  (which is being remade next year). On Monday afternoon, there’s a screening of Josie and the Pussycats… no, I’m not sure why either.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

Sadly, the Trilogies series ends Thursday, but the Film Forum will screen a 4k restoration of Alain Resnais’ Last Year at Marienbad (1961), and this weekend’s Film Forum Jr.offering is Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands  (1990), starring Johnny Depp. Dan Streible is back with his eclectic of shorts called More Orphans of New York.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

On Friday, you can catch a “New York Sleaze Triple Feature” (yes, in L.A.) with Fulci’s The New York Ripper (1982),Nightmares in a Damaged Brain  (1981) and Abel Ferrar’s The Driller Killer  (1979). The Cassavetes & Scorsese: Love is Strangeseries continues on Saturday with Goodfellas and Husbands, plus the 1965 film The 10th Victim is showing as part of the Art Directors Guild Film Society Series on Sunday. Also on Sunday, Spanish filmmaker Ivan Zulueta (who died ten years ago) gets a tribute with a screening of 1979’s Arrebato.

AERO  (LA):

This week, the Aero begins the Passion of Pier Paolo Pasolini series (probably in conjunction with Abel Ferrara’s film, which finally gets a theatrical release) with a series of double features: Solo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) and Pigsty (1969) on Thursday, The Decameron  (1970) and Oedipus Rex (1967) on Friday, The Canterbury Tales (1971) and Teorema (1968) on Saturday, and Arabian Nights (1974)and Medea (1969) on Sunday. On Monday, they’ll screen a rare 35mm print of Pasonlini’s The Gospel According to St. Matthew(1964). Since I really enjoyed Ferrara’s new film starring Willem Dafoe, I’m bummed I missed the Metrograph’s retrospective of Pasolini last year, but this is a good chance to see this prolific Italian filmmaker’s often-controversial work.

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Another great series begins at the Quad this weekend with Fighting Mad: German Genre Films from the Margins, based around Dominik Graf’s two-part documentary A Journey Through German Film. Graf programmed the series with Olaf Müller, who presents a few of the screenings. It’s a pretty rich series with no films that I personally have had a chance to see – I have a couple screeners to watch – but there are sure to be a few gems in there if you have time to see some of the 17 movies.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Waverly Midnights: ParentalGuidance  will screen Roman Polanski’s horror classicRosemary’s Baby (1968) and James Cameron’s Aliens (again). Weekend Classics: Love Mom and Dad screens Pier Paolo Pasolini’s 1962 film Mamma Roma, while Late Night Favorites: Spring shows the Coens’ Fargo, David Fincher’s Fight Club and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

Black 90s: A Turning Point in American Cinema continues this weekend with Waiting to Exhale, The Five Heartbeats, Fear of a Black Hat, House Party, a 20thAnniversary screening of The Best Man and a lot more. It’s a really good series with a lot of movies worth checking out.

MOMA (NYC):

Abel Ferrara: Unrated continues with 1986’s Crime Story on Wednesday, 1993’s Dangerous Game on Thursday, Welcome to New York  (2014) on Sunday and Piazza Vittorio (2017) and 4:44 Last Day on Earth  (2011) on Sunday. The series will continue through May 31. MOMA is also doing a Jean-Claude Carriereseries, honoring the amazing prolific work of the French screenwriter, including Louis Malle’s Milou en Mai  (1964), Milos Forman’s Taking Off (1971) and many more, which will be screened between now and June 16.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

A new addition! The theater in the Roxy Hotel in Tribeca is showing Joanna Hogg’s earlier film Archipelego (2010), as well as Sally Potter’s 1992 film Orlando in 35mm!

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

On Saturday, MOMI is doing a Filmmaker Memorial for John Singleton, put together by The Black Filmmaker Foundation and the Black Film Critics Circle with BFCC President Michael Sargent and other critics discussing Singleton’s work. Otherwise, MOMI is finishing up Panorama Europe.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

This week’s midnight movie on Friday is the Japanese horror filmHouse (Hausu) from 1977.

That’s it for this week. Next week, we get Guy Ritchie’s Aladdin, starring Will Smith; Olivia Wilde’s hilarious Book Smart and the James Gunn-produced Brightburn. Oh, yeah, and it’s Memorial Day weekend!

[dailyaudiobible]

05/17/2017 DAB Transcript

1 Samuel 20:1-21:15 ~ John 9:1-41 ~ Psalm 113:1-114:8  ~ Proverbs 15:15-17

Today is May 17th.  Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible.  I'm Brian.  It's great to be here with you today and how is your week going? ��Here we are in the middle of it all and we’ll turn a corner and head toward the backside of the week.  We’re reading from the Names of God Bible this week and we’re in the intriguing story right now with King Saul and a young David and just what gets brought up in the two of them because they are in proximity to each other and what that can mean for our lives.  So 1 Samuel chapter 20, verse 1 through 21, verse 15 today.  

Commentary

Okay, if it wasn’t clear that Saul wants to kill David (and it was clear, by the way), but if it wasn’t clear, it is very clear now.  And Jonathan, David's best friend, the son of the king, the prince of Israel, he knows it's true and so he has to help his best friend get away. It's just a pretty sad scene because we’re seeing, like we talked about, where the insecurity and unsettledness and people-pleasing of Saul, the things that intimidate him are taking his life over and they are affecting the way that he leads.  So you see that Saul has become very obsessed about David.  He's very jealous about David, but he is also very, very insecure and he's isolating himself and he's getting stranger and stranger and stranger as it goes because that is kind of how that works.  So his insecurity and his isolation are also turning into paranoia and just all kinds of things are going on inside of Saul.  

David, on the other hand, he didn’t deserve any of this.  He didn’t ask for any of this.  David had to grow up really fast all of a sudden.  One morning his father sends him to the battle lines to bring his brothers some supplies and see how things are going and the next thing you know he is like a national hero.  The next thing you know he's killed the giant Goliath.  So it's been a whirlwind ever since I'm sure with some really, really wonderful days, but David had to grow up fast.  He had to grow up in the limelight.  He had to grow up really fast and then all of a sudden now it is pretty clear he's gone from national treasure, like national hero to fugitive, outlaw on the run and being pursued by the king of Israel, this one man.

So we see like a desperation.  He flies to a priest and gets himself a weapon and gets him a little bit of supplies and then he goes to Gath.  So he's literally left the borderlands.  He's left Israel and is seeking asylum with the Philistines.  He goes to Gath, which is this nearby city that happens to be the hometown of Goliath.  That's how pressed in David is, ‘it would be more safe for me to go to Gath, the hometown of the giant that I killed, than to be in my own homeland right now.’  

So David has no really good options and really hasn’t done anything but be loyal, faithful, a good servant to the king, a good leader to the soldiers and David has become a warrior in the process with nowhere to go and King Achish, once they figure out who David is, it is not a good environment for David to maybe lay his head down to rest in so he has to pretend he's insane just to get out of there.  And we’ll pick that story up tomorrow.  But it is just important to see kind of the diverging paths.  Everything that is happening in David's life as far as him being on the run and an outlaw is completely a repercussion of Saul's insecurity. Things that we let run rampant in us, the lies that we have believed all this time that pull us into isolation and can keep making us stranger and stranger, they affect people around us and we’re seeing that in Saul's life and we’re seeing that in David's life.  

Prayer

Father, we invite you into that.  We invite you into that because the things that are making us feel less than, I mean, whether they have any basis in truth or not, they melt away in your face.  So when we go to those places and we live in those places and we isolate ourselves, we’re essentially saying that you're not capable of redeeming us.  There is no new start for us.  There is no mercy that is renewed in the morning for us.  There is no all things new for us.  That is pretty much what we’re saying.  And that is not true.  So we’re believing a lie and living into that and we’re watching where that road leads with Saul and we ask you to help us.  We need your Holy Spirit's power in those places, those wounds and agreements that we have made covenant with and lived from for so long that were never true in the first place.  Come Holy Spirit into those places.  We invite you.  We reject those things.  We reject anything that is not from you or of you.  We reject anything in our lives that exalts itself above you.  We pursue you with our whole heart.  We love you, Lord.  Come Holy Spirit, speak truth into our lives.  Lead us on the path of life, we ask.  In Jesus’ name, amen.  

Announcements

Www.DailyAudioBible.com is home base.  It's the website.  I say it every day.  That's where you find out what is going on around here and that is where the Prayer Wall is and that's where resources are and that is where upcoming events are.  I guess the one upcoming event that we’re talking about right now, and I don’t think we’ll be talking about it too much more because I think it will be full, because it is getting pretty close now, we’re going to go back to this land of the Bible, the Valley of Elah that we talked about when David slew Goliath.  I mean, some of these places David has to flee to at this point are kind of back down from Jerusalem in what is called the lowlands, the Shfela, that area, and we’ll be in that area as well as every region pretty much north, south, east or west.  Every region of land we will certainly touch and visit and contextualize.  So you’re invited.  We’ll be going back in February, February 19th through March 4th.  You can get more information at www.DailyAudioBible.com.  Just kind of scroll down and look for the Israel 2018 icon, little banner, and that will take you where you need to go.  So you are invited.  

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at www.DailyAudioBible.com.  There is a link.  It's on the home page.  Thank you profoundly for your partnership in the community that we share and are together. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible App, you can press the More button in the lower right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996, Spring Hill, TN 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, (877) 942-4253 is the number to dial.  

And that’s it for today.  I'm Brian. I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Requests and Praise Reports

Hi.  My name is Lynn and I love the Lord very much.  I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for about two years now and just really enjoy it.  I'm a first-time caller.  Thank you, Brian, for having this podcast available and thank you to all the prayer warriors out there who are praying for each other.  It is very comforting to listen to the prayer line and I too am praying for others as they call in.  Today I'm calling thanking God for my mom and my grandma who both loved the Lord very much and are with him now and I'm missing them today on Mother's Day and I pray for all those  who are also missing their mothers this day especially and for you, Brian.  I know it is especially hard that first Mother's Day. I also ask prayer request for my adult son who will be deployed to Afghanistan next week.  He serves in the Air Force Reserves and I just ask for prayers for his safety and for his family's protection while he's away.  I also ask for prayers for my younger adult son and his wife and they are going through a rough patch in their marriage right now.  I pray for healing, reconciliation, forgiveness, grace, mercy, and perseverance through the hard times.  Lord, protect their marriage.  Thank you, God, for being so faithful and so good.  I love you, dear Lord Jesus.  Amen.  

Hi Daily Audio Bible.  This is Sandy from New Hampshire.  I'm calling on Mother's Day.  I'm letting you know, Hardin family, that you're in my thoughts and prayers and sending you a hug.  It blessed my heart to hear different folks reaching out to you and that just touched my heart.  I'm calling today to encourage people that are discouraged, that the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy.  He comes to steal your joy.  He comes to destroy your trust in God and he comes to kill your faith.  And so I'm praying right now for people to have that assurance from the Lord that he is with you.  He has not forsaken you.  You are in the called and the beloved and he loves you.  I'm praying for you today.  So Father, in the name of Jesus, I give you thanks.  I give you praise for each and every person in the Daily Audio Bible family.  I pray, Father, for your Holy Spirit to speak in the hearts and to encourage.  Lord, what the enemy has sought to steal, kill and destroy, I pray, Father, that you will refresh, refuel and revive each soul, in Jesus’ mighty name, for your glory, Lord God.  This is Sandy in New Hampshire.  God bless you.  

Lee in New Jersey, I want to thank you again for your message on clarifying what it is I was trying to convey on the DAB Prayer Line.  I appreciate your prayers so much and I want you to know that I am standing in agreement with asking God for wisdom and to reveal his plan to you as well as the inappropriate stuff that your daughter and other children are being exposed to on the Internet.  I want to tell you that my brother __ had a very similar issue and what they did is they got one computer, a Mac, and put it in the living room in open space so that their two kids, when they need to do work, it is done in an open space and an open, controlled area and they monitor their time, so I hope that will help you.  Rose in Queens, I love you, too.  Will in Bozeman, MT, I'm praying for your brother's cancer.  I pray for full recovery and just ask God to give you wisdom and protect you and your family.  Christy in Kentucky, your mama passed away.  Girlfriend, I don’t know what to say except that I am standing in the gap and I'm praying for you.  I want to thank Victorious Soldier.  I want to thank Richard and Francine in Canada for calling in.  Roselyn and Walta and Sheila in Texas, restoration of your marriage.  __ along with the ladies I just mentioned, thank you so much for calling in and sharing your testimony.  I think it is so important that while we call in for prayer reports, we also call in with stories of success and hope that that will bless you.  So just sending everybody my love and big hugs to you. Cheers!  Asia in Munich.  

Good morning Dabbers.  This is Walta, the burning bush that will not be devoured for the glory of our God and King. Guys, my beautiful mom, the one who showed me who God is and woman of faith, well, she has been diagnosed with colon cancer and today as I speak she is going into surgery for removal of a tumor. Please pray for my mom.  She is the best mom in the world.  Just pray for her to make it out safe and healed and that she will know that God is with her.  He will never leave her nor forsake her in this entire process and to be with us as we pray for her healing and safe surgery and healing after the surgery.  Thank you guys.  I love you. I love you all.  God bless.  

Hi, this is Christine with a bumpy dog in North Carolina.  I’ve been a long time listener and call in occasionally but I'm calling in today with a prayer request and a praise.  I just listened to the May 11th broadcast and heard Keith.  I'm so thankful that he called in and it's so heartening that he said his son made poor choices in high school but now, as he's in his 20s, he is maturing in his faith and can see Jesus in his heart.  I'm also calling, Jordan had called in several times with requests as a teacher to work with several difficult children in his class.  He's praying to know when to push and yet keep a positive relationship between him and the students.  So it is with both of these that I call for my son who also has made poor choices in school. He has suffered the consequences and as a parent it really hurt to watch him do that and it also hurts to administer consequences here at home in support of the school, but I'm now praying for wisdom and discernment from the Holy Spirit as I speak to my son as he has seen several serious situations involving other students where he has not seen a consistent way of administering justice.  I'm praying for wisdom and discernment to know as a parent when I should speak up and model for him correct behavior and when I should be quiet and the ability to have that conversation with him about that delicate balance between mercy and justice as a follower of Christ.  Thank you again for your prayers.  

[networkingdefinition]

Bikers Quotes

Official Website: Bikers Quotes

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• A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors. Rather chilling. – Stephen Fry

• And what makes me happy now has changed as well… Its one thing to play in a bar or at a biker festival, and hear a guy who’s been drinking beer all day come up and tell you how good you are. For a long time in your life that will make you happy. – Rick Derringer

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Biker', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_biker').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_biker img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Biker chicks want the bad boy. ��� Theo Rossi • Bikers, in general, have just been so attractive to people. Photographers would follow them because there’s this weird warrior gravitas that comes with it. The bikes are loud, they have tattoos, they have artwork that they all wear on their jackets. – Ryan Hurst • Canada is like a nice family living over a biker bar . . . They keep telling the downstairs neighbors to keep down the noise, people are trying to sleep. – Dustin Hoffman • First you buy me a mocha. Then you let me help you hide a body. Now you take me to a biker clubhouse. Best. Day. Ever. – Kelley Armstrong • For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You’re in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh. – Gabriel Iglesias • Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. “I gotta get me a pair if those,” she said, eyeballing my shorts. “I’ve still got pretty good legs, you know.” She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. “What do you think? You think I’d look good in them biker things?” Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs. – Janet Evanovich • Guys are so predictable. They can’t seem to separate fantasy from reality, so I get a lot of bikers and race car drivers hitting on me. They’re all just playboys, so they don’t interest me. – Michelle Rodriguez • I don’t believe any sort of traveler does a better job than any other sort of traveler at obeying traffic safety laws. It’s difficult to foresee a camera program that can be used with bikers and walkers. – Robert James Thomson • I have a lot of respect for the bikers, which I’ve always had. – Emilio Rivera • I like raunchiness, not like in a biker-chick sort of a way, but like the girl can’t help it. Little bruises, a few hairs out of place, a little stain here and there. – Anton Szandor LaVey • I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club. – Bob Saget • I think it’s particularly a distinctively American concept that resonates with American culture through biker culture. A motorcycle is an independent thing. You’re like, ‘I don’t want to ride in a car with this person. I want to be independent and ride by myself. But, let’s ride in a group. Let’s be independent, together.’ – Ryan Hurst • I’d love to be on ‘Glee.’ I’d love to play a rebel. Be a real biker chick in leather and covered in tattoos. – Leona Lewis • If you see a biker chick hanging out with a group of bikers and associated with them, stay away. You’ll know right away if a biker chick is free; if she’s with someone, she’s right by his side. Getting with somebody’s old lady is a big no-no. That’s more serious than anything in that world. – Theo Rossi • I’m a menace to society, But girls in biker shorts are so fly to me. After the date, I’mma want to do the wild thing… You’re talkin’ lobster? I’m thinkin’ Burger King. – Ice Cube • I’m continuing to do research into biker culture. – Ron Perlman • I’m definitely never going to be a biker. I’m scared of cars so the idea of riding a motorcycle is just never going to be something that I’m into. – Kristen Stewart • I’m not keen on cars and motorbikes. I tried to be a biker, but it wasn’t me – I bought a Harley-Davidson and dumped it. – Colin Farrell • In ‘Hell Ride,’ I play a biker – it’s about the bikers. It’s with Dennis Hopper and Michael Madsen, Larry Bishop and myself. We’re bikers, and I play Billy Wings; I’ve got all sorts of wings, and you have to watch the movie to find out what the wings are about. – Vinnie Jones • It’s not impressive to get in a fight, but if one does happen, you’ve gotta be ready to handle it. Every girl, not just biker chicks, knows what kind of guy can. – Theo Rossi • I’ve been a biker, I’ve been a convict, I’ve been a husband, father, and son. – Duane Chapman • Messengers and mountain bikers share a common chromosome. – James Bethea • Nick was dressed in jeans, a dark green sweater, and bomber jacket–the perfect image of a rich college student. Talon looked like a biker who had just left Sanctuary, New Orleans’s premier biker bar. Acheron looked like a refugee from the Dungeon–the local underground goth hangout. Valerius was the professional contingent, and Zarek…Zarek just looked like he was ready to kill something.’ (Talon) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • One of the important things is that a lot of people forget that a biker club is a secret society. – Ryan Hurst • Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • Really good mountain bikers are lousy judges of trail difficulty. We haven’t a clue, we just ride. – John Olsen • Sure, my childhood was unusual. All these eccentric, wild people frequented our home: rock stars, drag queens, models, bikers, freaks. But I was not this little rich girl. My mom and I lived in an apartment. – Liv Tyler • Tattoo. What a loaded word it is, rife with associations to goons, goofs, bikers, tribal warriors, carnival artists, drunken sailors and floozies. – Jon Anderson • The White Horse video which was directed by Marco Ovando started off with a biker theme. Once Ava Sanjurjo came in as stylist along with Marco & I it really took it’s own shape. It was all very improvised but wound up paying homage to NY and night life. People say it reminds them of a Guess ad which I love! – Nomi Ruiz • There was this kind of mildly annoying mythology about conductor Like biker should riding a Harley-Davidson on an LP cover, and wearing a sort of a leather suit. – Esa-Pekka Salonen • Um, Dr. Alexander, there’s a couple out here who say they’re related to you. They…um…they’re biker people. (Nurse) Hey, Julian. Tell Attila the Hun here that we’re okay so we can come and ooh and aah over the babies. (Eros) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • We get crazy when we can’t make things be like the world tells us they are”. She looked back out the window. ��It was that way for me and your brother, I think. I mean, how could I have loved him that last year? I didn’t even know who he was. He was way more attracted to drugs and bikers and that whole lifestyle than he was to me. But somebody told me that if you really loved somebody,you stayed with him no matter what. You had to fight for him.” She laughe. “Hell, I was convinced. – Chris Crutcher • When I ran for governor, I told all the bikers, “You don’t need to worry about me bringing in a helmet law. It’s your option because you as a motorcycle rider that’s your option. It doesn’t come with the bike.” – Jesse Ventura • Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison. – Dana Gould • With a face like this, there aren’t a lot of lawyers or priest roles coming my way. I’ve gotta face that was meant for a mug shot and that’s what I’ve been doing for the past thirty years. If I play a cop, it’s always a racist cop, or a trigger-happy cop or a crooked cop – but by and large I play cowboys, bikers, and convicts. – M. C. Gainey • Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it’d be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire. – Richelle Mead • You could say that the Hell’s Angels have a bad reputation, then you talk to a biker, and he’s trying to join it. It just depends upon who you’re talking to about reputation. – Anton Newcombe • You ready? I have gold teeth, I have braids, I’m wearing Rick Owens moon boots, I have rips in my denim, a biker vest, I love artsy girls, my favourite artists are Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon. I’m obsessed with being different. – ASAP Rocky • You wouldn’t believe that I still have the bikers with the caps to the side at my door, ringing the doorbell. – Tina Turner [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

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jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'i', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_i').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_i img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

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jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

[equitiesstocks]

Bikers Quotes

Official Website: Bikers Quotes

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• A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors. Rather chilling. – Stephen Fry

• And what makes me happy now has changed as well… Its one thing to play in a bar or at a biker festival, and hear a guy who’s been drinking beer all day come up and tell you how good you are. For a long time in your life that will make you happy. – Rick Derringer

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Biker', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_biker').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_biker img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • Biker chicks want the bad boy. – Theo Rossi • Bikers, in general, have just been so attractive to people. Photographers would follow them because there’s this weird warrior gravitas that comes with it. The bikes are loud, they have tattoos, they have artwork that they all wear on their jackets. – Ryan Hurst • Canada is like a nice family living over a biker bar . . . They keep telling the downstairs neighbors to keep down the noise, people are trying to sleep. – Dustin Hoffman • First you buy me a mocha. Then you let me help you hide a body. Now you take me to a biker clubhouse. Best. Day. Ever. – Kelley Armstrong • For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You’re in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh. – Gabriel Iglesias • Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. “I gotta get me a pair if those,” she said, eyeballing my shorts. “I’ve still got pretty good legs, you know.” She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. “What do you think? You think I’d look good in them biker things?” Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs. – Janet Evanovich • Guys are so predictable. They can’t seem to separate fantasy from reality, so I get a lot of bikers and race car drivers hitting on me. They’re all just playboys, so they don’t interest me. – Michelle Rodriguez • I don’t believe any sort of traveler does a better job than any other sort of traveler at obeying traffic safety laws. It’s difficult to foresee a camera program that can be used with bikers and walkers. – Robert James Thomson • I have a lot of respect for the bikers, which I’ve always had. – Emilio Rivera • I like raunchiness, not like in a biker-chick sort of a way, but like the girl can’t help it. Little bruises, a few hairs out of place, a little stain here and there. – Anton Szandor LaVey • I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club. – Bob Saget • I think it’s particularly a distinctively American concept that resonates with American culture through biker culture. A motorcycle is an independent thing. You’re like, ‘I don’t want to ride in a car with this person. I want to be independent and ride by myself. But, let’s ride in a group. Let’s be independent, together.’ – Ryan Hurst • I’d love to be on ‘Glee.’ I’d love to play a rebel. Be a real biker chick in leather and covered in tattoos. – Leona Lewis • If you see a biker chick hanging out with a group of bikers and associated with them, stay away. You’ll know right away if a biker chick is free; if she’s with someone, she’s right by his side. Getting with somebody’s old lady is a big no-no. That’s more serious than anything in that world. – Theo Rossi • I’m a menace to society, But girls in biker shorts are so fly to me. After the date, I’mma want to do the wild thing… You’re talkin’ lobster? I’m thinkin’ Burger King. – Ice Cube • I’m continuing to do research into biker culture. – Ron Perlman • I’m definitely never going to be a biker. I’m scared of cars so the idea of riding a motorcycle is just never going to be something that I’m into. – Kristen Stewart • I’m not keen on cars and motorbikes. I tried to be a biker, but it wasn’t me – I bought a Harley-Davidson and dumped it. – Colin Farrell • In ‘Hell Ride,’ I play a biker – it’s about the bikers. It’s with Dennis Hopper and Michael Madsen, Larry Bishop and myself. We’re bikers, and I play Billy Wings; I’ve got all sorts of wings, and you have to watch the movie to find out what the wings are about. – Vinnie Jones • It’s not impressive to get in a fight, but if one does happen, you’ve gotta be ready to handle it. Every girl, not just biker chicks, knows what kind of guy can. – Theo Rossi • I’ve been a biker, I’ve been a convict, I’ve been a husband, father, and son. – Duane Chapman • Messengers and mountain bikers share a common chromosome. – James Bethea • Nick was dressed in jeans, a dark green sweater, and bomber jacket–the perfect image of a rich college student. Talon looked like a biker who had just left Sanctuary, New Orleans’s premier biker bar. Acheron looked like a refugee from the Dungeon–the local underground goth hangout. Valerius was the professional contingent, and Zarek…Zarek just looked like he was ready to kill something.’ (Talon) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • One of the important things is that a lot of people forget that a biker club is a secret society. – Ryan Hurst • Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • Really good mountain bikers are lousy judges of trail difficulty. We haven’t a clue, we just ride. – John Olsen • Sure, my childhood was unusual. All these eccentric, wild people frequented our home: rock stars, drag queens, models, bikers, freaks. But I was not this little rich girl. My mom and I lived in an apartment. – Liv Tyler • Tattoo. What a loaded word it is, rife with associations to goons, goofs, bikers, tribal warriors, carnival artists, drunken sailors and floozies. – Jon Anderson • The White Horse video which was directed by Marco Ovando started off with a biker theme. Once Ava Sanjurjo came in as stylist along with Marco & I it really took it’s own shape. It was all very improvised but wound up paying homage to NY and night life. People say it reminds them of a Guess ad which I love! – Nomi Ruiz • There was this kind of mildly annoying mythology about conductor Like biker should riding a Harley-Davidson on an LP cover, and wearing a sort of a leather suit. – Esa-Pekka Salonen • Um, Dr. Alexander, there’s a couple out here who say they’re related to you. They…um…they’re biker people. (Nurse) Hey, Julian. Tell Attila the Hun here that we’re okay so we can come and ooh and aah over the babies. (Eros) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • We get crazy when we can’t make things be like the world tells us they are”. She looked back out the window. “It was that way for me and your brother, I think. I mean, how could I have loved him that last year? I didn’t even know who he was. He was way more attracted to drugs and bikers and that whole lifestyle than he was to me. But somebody told me that if you really loved somebody,you stayed with him no matter what. You had to fight for him.” She laughe. “Hell, I was convinced. – Chris Crutcher • When I ran for governor, I told all the bikers, “You don’t need to worry about me bringing in a helmet law. It’s your option because you as a motorcycle rider that’s your option. It doesn’t come with the bike.” – Jesse Ventura • Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison. – Dana Gould • With a face like this, there aren’t a lot of lawyers or priest roles coming my way. I’ve gotta face that was meant for a mug shot and that’s what I’ve been doing for the past thirty years. If I play a cop, it’s always a racist cop, or a trigger-happy cop or a crooked cop – but by and large I play cowboys, bikers, and convicts. – M. C. Gainey • Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot. Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be overkill. But it’d be cool if the biker skeleton could be shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire. – Richelle Mead • You could say that the Hell’s Angels have a bad reputation, then you talk to a biker, and he’s trying to join it. It just depends upon who you’re talking to about reputation. – Anton Newcombe • You ready? I have gold teeth, I have braids, I’m wearing Rick Owens moon boots, I have rips in my denim, a biker vest, I love artsy girls, my favourite artists are Jimi Hendrix and John Lennon. I’m obsessed with being different. – ASAP Rocky • You wouldn’t believe that I still have the bikers with the caps to the side at my door, ringing the doorbell. – Tina Turner [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );

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[nixemotionalblog]

My First International Trip...

Feb 26, 2019. 

two days after coming back from my first international trip and I feel overwhelmed with the updates coming in and also getting use to the swing of things. 

I went to Hong Kong, India, Japan, Macau and Hong Kong again then home. 

The journey was amazing. I went from Jan 27- Feb 24. that’s the longest I’ve been away from home and I did get home sick but I was also distracted by all the new experiences and surroundings! I genuinely feel blessed to have had this experience and opportunity. Now this motivates me to stop shopping so much and save for my next trip especially to Hong Kong. 

There is so much to write about regarding this trip. I mostly took pics of places and food that we ate. The first time in HK we met with Uncle Jackie’s friend and he took us to go have street food which was pretty good. We stayed for a few days before flying to India. I also discovered my love for tempo tissue which I wish we had here and Sasa which is like sephora.

In India omg that place is crazy but as soon as I stepped out of the airport I smiled. It felt like this was fate that I was meant to go “home” as it’s the origin of my family. I got a chance to meet the Chow family which consists of Cousins, Debra, Vally, Ian, Keetu, and Brian. I also met Lakshmi who is Nelson’s widow and her kids Calvin and Nikita. It was so surreal to step into the place where Grandma lived. I wanted to cry not out of sadness but something else which I cannot describe the feeling of. The food was SO amazing! but super greasy and oily and my face felt so oily as a result of it. I did not do as much walking as it was SUPER hot and I was sweating my balls off and luckily for us we had the help of Jenny’s brothers and their wives. Unfortunately the brothers do not get along with each other but they are both super nice and took a liking to me which I felt so good about. Traffic was INSANE!!!! there was a systematic chaos about the whole experience. They would honk all the time and it’s like that’s how they communicate and tell each other they are coming into a lane or the light is about to change and so forth. 

I also got a chance to go with Jenny to do her charity work and went to the children’s orphanage homes and got to see all the kids from babies to young kids and even disabled children. Jenny was handing out gummy bears and they were looking at it in awe and wondering if they were dolls or what...but once they ate it then they went mad and wanted more than just one. I also went to the old folks orphanage place which I helped hand out chocolates to and some denied the chocolates not too sure of what it was.... there was this one lady that seemed like she had her whole face burnt off or something it was really sad. I did not roam too much around that place as it was too hot and also I was feeling very emotional. 

I also went to Mother Theresa's house/tomb where she lays. It was so amazing to be there and you could still feel the peace and her energy in that place. 

I went to Annie’s church the Sacred Heart church with Jenny’s brother John and went to Mass with him and after got rosaries and healing oil blessed by the priests. I got two blessings from two priests because I forgot to bless some rosaries the first time which was cool. Thank You Jesus and God! 

There was a lot of food and travelling everywhere. I got the stomach runs one day there only. But the food was amazing!! 

We then went back to HK for one night before taking off to Osaka Japan. OMG Japan is BEAUTIFUL! I love the people and culture there everyone is so polite and appreciative and genuinely happy! The streets are so clean and people don’t jaywalk unless they are tourists lol. I want to go back for sure but be prepared for the cold and dry air. 

After Japan we came back to HK for about a week or at least that’s what it felt like. I lost track of days lol We did go to Macau for one night and that’s when something magical happened. I was on Tinder and swiping and of course I saw chocolate and swiped yes. Then this man Stanley messaged me while in Macau. I was very skeptical at first and was messaging him on whatsapp. The next day when I returned to HK we talked on the phone for a few hours as he wanted to meet but i was too tired and also skeptical lol. But I told myself what the heck and took a chance. The next day we agreed to meet and we were suppose to meet at 3pm at this restaurant but this mofo was late! 30-45 mins late! I ate without him and was angry when he showed up. He was also talking about me coming to his place but I was adamant and said no I mean I didn’t want to be chopped up into pieces..... so we went back to my hotel to chill and of course we allllll know what happened then..... yup..... lol so afterwards I expected him to leave as he got what he wanted and it was all done but instead he stayed and held me and cuddled me and then Jen came back so we went for a walk but I asked him to go to his place to his surprise and so we went.  Well I ended up staying the night and spent my last 24 hrs in HK with him. I was in such lust with him that everything became fuzzy and felt like a movie. I thought I had one more day but luckily for me Uncle Henry told me we had to check out at 3pm so in a panic I got dressed which he helped me put my bra back on and he came and helped me pack my stuff and stayed with me for as long as he could. While at his place we of course did stuff but when we showered he washed me. He made sure I was fed as he gave me fruits and in the morning gave me a pear and orange and made tea for me which I could not drink all as it was Milo and that shit gives me stomach issues. He cuddled with me through the night and if he wasn’t holding me he would wrap his arms around me. It’s so crazy that i only spent 24 hrs with him but I do like him and I tell him I love him but that will take more time. He is looking for a long term relationship and wants a wife and kids but I’m looking for the same and have been asking God to send this to me. This is why I’ve jumped into trying the long distance relationship with him and seeing where this goes. I need to make my way back to Hong Kong and spend more time with him and see what happens. He said when I come back he will put a ring on my finger but i’m not expecting that. He is 33 and isn’t getting younger and wants to start this family while he is young and I agree. I can’t help but be a bit skeptical but also is this God’s plan? I have to trust that it is and see what happens. If it turns out and we make it then it will be a story for the ages for sure. And really when has my life been normal??? lol But for him to have melted my icy wall and restart my heart so quickly must say something about him shouldn’t it? 

anyways another post about Stan later. I left HK with a heavy heart however before Stan I was really ready to go home. But that’s how life goes I guess. 11.5 hrs later I’m back home. I was really lucky to have great flight mates beside me as they were a couple from the US who went to Thailand with their family and they were so awesome I hope all is well with them and I wish them all the best. 

[theleftoverurl]

ARE ANGRY WORDS TO BE WRITTEN IN CAPS LOCK?

I AM NOT ONE TO FIGHT WITH PEOPLE, BUT YESTERDAY THINGS CAME TO A HEAD WITH MY GRANDMA AND SHE HAS IGNORED ME OR MADE SNIDE JADED COMMENTS ABOUT ME ALL DAY EVER SINCE – IT’S NOW NIGHT-TIME AND SHE HAS ONLY JUST STARTED TO COOL DOWN – AND WARM HER TONE TOWARDS ME.

YESTERDAY WAS A TERRIBLY DULL DAY TO FOLLOW A STRING OF DULL DAYS, WHICH IS ALMOST ENTIRELY MY FAULT FOR NOT BOTHERING TO TRY AND CATCH UP WITH PEOPLE AND ENTERTAIN MYSELF, AND I THINK THAT THIS COMBINATION OF FEELING COOPED UP AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH AH MA SULKING AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY, PLUS MY MUM’S DISDAIN TOWARDS HER LED UP TO OUR FIGHT.

I WOKE UP LATE (ALMOST PURPOSELY BECAUSE I COULD HEAR AH MA ON THE PHONE BITCHING AND LYING ABOUT ME AND ASKING FOR FAVOURS ON THE PHONE TO HER WEIRDO FRIENDS GRANT THE PRIEST AND LEONARD AND MARLENE), WAITED FOR AH MA TO BE RATTLING AROUND OUTSIDE SWEEPING THE GARDEN AND WENT TO PLAY THE PIANO AS NO ONE WAS IN THE HOUSE. WHEN MUM CAME BACK FROM DOING THE GROCERIES, SHE SAID SHE WAS TAKING AH MA TO TORRE BECAUSE AH MA WAS GOING TO COOK TAO EW BAK AT MY SUGGESTION SO DID I WANT TO COME ALONG. I DECIDED THAT THE BUTCHERS WAS PROBABLY A BETTER PLACE TO BE THAN AT HOME BY MYSELF, SO GOT DRESSED AND TAGGED ALONG.

THE BUTCHERS WAS VERY SLOW. I FORGOT HOW SLOW IT IS GOING TO TORRE BUT IT WAS BETTER THAN WHEN I WAS A LITTLE CHILD BECAUSE I WAS ALLOWED TO WANDER AIMLESSLY AROUND THE TINY SHOP AND A LITTLE BIT OUTSIDE WHILE I WAITED. AH MA EMBARRASSED ME TERRIBLY BECAUSE WHILST MUM WAS TALKING TO THE BUTCHER’S WIFE, SHE PLUCKED PARSLEY OUT OF A JAR, SPILT IT ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND THEN ASKED THE BUTCHER IF SHE COULD HAVE IT. MUM WAS ALSO IRRITATED AT HER FOR TAKING SO LONG TO SPECIFY WHAT CUTS OF MEAT SHE WANTED, BUT I FELT LIKE THAT ANNOYANCE WAS PARTLY UNWARRANTED (MIND YOU, I DIDN’T GO WITH THE TWO OF THEM TO THE CHINESE SHOP IN THE MORNING, SO MAYBE  IT WAS AN UNFORESEEN BUILDUP ON MY PART).

THEN WE WENT TO MILLSTREAM PATISSERIE TO BUY SOME PIES FOR LUNCH AND FOR NICK’S AFTERNOON TEA. MUM WAS SICK OF AH MA PRETENDING SHE COULDN’T WALK BECAUSE OF HER BAKER’S CYST, SO DITCHED AH MA, LEAVING HER TO KIND OF LOITER AROUND OUTSIDE SOUTHSHORE SHOPPING PLAZA. WE BOUGHT THE PIES AND THEN CAME HOME.

I MADE COFFEE FOR AH MA AND MYSELF AND THEN CHOPPED THE BANH MI AND A PIE IN HALF FOR MUM AND I TO SHARE AND THEN WE ALL SORT OF SAT AT THE DINING TABLE TO WHILE AWAY THE TIME AS USUAL. AFTER A BIT WE MOVED TO THE GREEN COUCH AND AH MA BROUGHT UP THE SUBJECT OF THE BANK.

THE PROBLEM WITH AH MA WANTING TO GO TO THE BANK IS THAT SHE HAS NO WAY OF GETTING THERE BECAUSE SHE CAN’T DRIVE, AND SHE HAS NO PHONE SO SHE INSISTED ON HAVING MUM OR I WAIT WITH HER AT THE BANK. ADDITIONALLY, SHE IS TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND HER BANKING SITUATION, OR WHAT SHE ACTUALLY WANTS TO DO AT THE BANK, SO SHE WOULD TAKE HOURS AND THERE IS NOTHING TO DO AT MENDS STREET NOW THEY ARE BUILDING THE HOUSING ACROSS THE ROAD. THEREFORE UNSURPRISINGLY, MUM AND I CATEGORICALLY REFUSED TO GO WITH AH MA TO THE BANK TO SORT OUT HER AFFAIRS.

I (STUPIDLY IN RETROSPECT) POINTED OUT THAT THE REAL ISSUE WAS AH MA DIDN’T HAVE A PHONE SO SHE SHOULD PROBABLY PROCURE A SIM CARD SO SHE COULD JUST RING US TO PICK HER UP. THE MAIN REGRET IN THIS IS THAT SHE WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND HOW TO CHANGE SIMS BACK AND FORTH, NOR TELL HER (ANNOYING) FRIENDS WHAT HER NEW NUMBER IS SO SHE WOULD INSIST ON HAVING US DO IT FOR HER. MUM AND AH MA STARTED TO FIGHT AND IT GOT HEATED BECAUSE AH MA INSISTED THAT THE BANK RANG HER AND TOLD HER TO COME TO THE BANK WITHOUT GIVING A REASON WHICH IS JUST STUPID AND IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE A) WE HAVE NEVER GOTTEN CALLS FROM THE BANK ASKING FOR HER B) THE BANK DOESN’T REALLY CALL PEOPLE OUT OF THE BLUE AND JUST SAY COME TO THE BANK WITHOUT REASON AND C) THEY HAD NO WAY OF KNOWING SHE WAS EVEN IN AUSTRALIA, MEANING SHE HAD TO HAVE CALLED THEM FIRST BUT SHE INSISTED THAT WASN’T SO. A LUDICROUS STORY, BUT IT REALLY HAD MUM RILED UP.

THEN I SNAPPED AT GRANDMA “YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE,” BECAUSE I WAS GETTING SICK OF THE ARGUMENT AND EQUALLY RILED, AND THEN SHE YELLED AT ME FOR THE FIRST TIME. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER, I AM VERY STUBBORN, SHE’S NOT SCARY, AND ONCE SOMEONE BEGINS TO YELL, A PART OF ME SWITCHES OFF INTO THE UNREASONABLE. BUT TOO BAD, I’M ALSO UNAPOLOGETIC (ALL THESE BAD ASPECTS OF MY CHARACTER). ANYWAY SHE YELLED “YOU CAN’T DISRESPECT AH MA LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE NO GRATITUDE, YOU MUST APOLOGISE.” AND SHE STOOD UP AND CAME TO ME (EVIDENTLY THE LEG DIDN’T HURT SO BAD ANYMORE, HUH) AND LEANED OVER WHERE I WAS LYING ON THE COUCH AS IF SHE HAD FORGOTTEN HERSELF AND WAS GOING TO HIT ME BUT HAD CAUGHT HERSELF. I WAS MOMENTARILY WORRIED SHE WAS GOING TO HIT ME BECAUSE I COULDN’T QUICK ENOUGH CALCULATE HOW TO ACT – I KNEW I COULD HIT HER BACK HARDER AND AND IN MY ANGER MAY DO AND THAT HER SLAP WOULDN’T ACTUALLY HURT BUT I DID NOT WANT TO DEAL WITH THE OBVIOUS RAMIFICATIONS OF THAT.

ANYWAY, I SNAPPED BACK “NO. I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGISE BECAUSE I DON’T THINK IT WAS RUDE. YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO USE A PHONE.” TO WHICH SHE REPLIED SOMETHING I DON’T RECALL BECAUSE I PROBABLY WASN’T LISTENING TO WHICH I RESPONDED “YOU NEED TO USE YOUR BRAIN” AND GESTICULATED BY TAPPING MY FINGER TO MY HEAD. I THOUGHT I WAS DONE FOR THEN, BUT SHE DOESN’T RESPECT BEING INTELLIGENT BECAUSE HER REPLY WAS “I KNOW I NEED TO USE MY BRAIN BUT YOU CAN’T BE UNGRATEFUL TO ME,” AND THEN I WANTED TO LAUGH BECAUSE SHE HAD SO COMPLETELY DISREGARDED THE MAIN POINT THAT I JUST COULDN’T DEAL WITH IT AND THEN MUM SAID SOMETHING AND THEY FOUGHT AND AH MA STORMED OFF AND WE WENT TO PICK UP NICK.

WHEN WE GOT BACK AH MA WAS GONE AND SHE DIDN’T JOIN US FOR DINNER WHEN SHE CAME BACK FROM HER WALK AND IT WAS ONLY SLIGHTLY AWKWARD THAT WHEN WE TOLD DAD THE STORY HE WAS COMPLETELY UNSYMPATHETIC TOWARDS HER AND NOBODY MISSED THE LACK OF HER SOUR FACE AT THE TABLE. WHEN SHE DID COME BACK SHE MADE SOME RIDICULOUS STATEMENT ABOUT NEEDING TO GO FOR A WALK TO EASE THE PAIN IN HER HEART (RIDICULOUS DRAMA QUEEN) AND MUM ROLLED HER EYES AND SAID “OH PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE” IN THAT DISDAINFUL TONE WHICH I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE IS VERY CUTTING. AND THEN NICK WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION TO TAKE THE MICKEY OUT OF HER BY PRETENDING TO BE ON HER SIDE AND SO HE WAS TALKING TO HER AND THEN BLOWING HIS SAXOPHONE REALLY LOUDLY SO IT WAS HARD FOR HER TO TALK AND THEN SHE HAD A WHOLE SPIEL ABOUT HOW YOU MUSTN’T BE “UNGRATEFUL AND DISRESPECTFUL” PRETENDING TO TALK TO NICK BUT ACTUALLY DIRECTING HER WORDS AT ME (ON THE PHONE ON THE COUCH). I COULDN’T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO SAY SO I REMAINED FIXED ON MY PHONE BUT THEN MUM TOLD HER OFF FOR TRYING TO SNEAKY SAY THINGS.

THEN SHE TRIED TO GET NICK TO HELP HER TURN THE TV ON AND HE TAUGHT HER AND THEN NICK AND I WERE SITTING DOING HIS HOMEWORK AND SHE WAS SWITCHING CHANNELS. NICK WAS SURPRISED AND SAID “WELL DONE AH MA, YOU KNOW HOW TO SWITCH THE CHANNELS,” AND SHE FLARED UP AND SAID “YOU DON’T SAY THAT AH MA IS STUPID, SHE KNOWS HOW TO DO THINGS, AND YOU ARE NOT SAYING IN THIS CASE THAT AH MA IS STUPID BUT SHE IS NOT SO HELPLESS AND WITHOUT A BRAIN,” (YES SHE DOES REFER TO HERSELF IN THIRD PERSON) ONCE AGAIN DIRECTED AT ME THROUGH NICK. SHE HAD ALSO EARLIER DROPPED A HINT ABOUT NICK NOT BUYING HER A PRESENT FROM NEW YORK WHICH IS RIDICULOUS AS NICK IS 13. ANYWAY MUM GOT FIRED UP BY THIS BECAUSE I GUESS SHE WAS SICK OF THE BARBS AND JIBES AND THE FACT THAT AH MA WAS USING NICK TO GET BACK AT US AND GRABBED THE REMOTE OFF HER AND SCREAMED “THIS IS MY HOUSE AND WE DO NOT WATCH TV AND DISTRACT OTHER PEOPLE WHILE THE CHILDREN ARE DOING HOMEWORK. TURN IT OFF NOW!” IT SOUNDED LIKE SHE WAS TREATING AH MA LIKE A CHILD WHICH WAS AWKWARD. ANYWAY AH MA FELL INTO A SULKY SILENCE. NICK AND I WERE LAUGHING AT THE AWKWARDNESS THE WHOLE TIME.

THEN NICK AND I INVENTED A GAME WHERE WE HAD TO PUT PENS IN HER CURLERS/ROLLERS WITHOUT HER NOTICING BUT NICK LOST ON THE FIRST TRY, BUT IMMEDIATELY HUGGED HER TELLING HER HOW MUCH HE LOVED HER AND MID-HUG TRYING MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET THE PEN INTO HER HAIR. I SUCCEEDED IN GETTING A TOOTHPICK IN, BUT IT FELL OUT BEFORE SHE NOTICED. THEN BECAUSE I STILL WASN’T SPEAKING TO HER I GAVE HER THE BIBLE BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT TO READ (NOT THAT SHE’S SMART ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY COMPREHEND THE WORDS BUT I SUPPOSE THE FAMILIAR PASSAGES ARE A COMFORT IN HARD TIMES LIKE FIGHTING WITH LEGITIMATELY ALL YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE HALF YOUR FAMILY HAS ALREADY ESTRANGED YOU FOR CALLING THE CHILDREN FAT AND LAZY AND GENERALLY BEING A NEGATIVE BURDEN) AND NICK (THE SUCK-UP LOL) WENT TO GO PRAY WITH HER.

BECAUSE I WAS BEING A BIT OF A BITCH, I CHOSE THAT TIME TO TRY COAX AMBY AND HER BEAR DOWNSTAIRS BECAUSE I’M SLEEPING IN NICK’S ROOM SO AH MA CAN TAKE MINE AND AMBY HAS BEEN SLEEPING WITH US. AMBY WAS GETTING EXCITED AND BOUNCING AROUND AND HER NAILS WERE CLICKING ON THE FLOORS AS SHE DID SO DURING THE PRAYER BUT I DIDN’T CARE. ANYWAY THEN I SAT QUIETLY ON THE STAIRS AND LISTENED TO AH MA AND NICK PRAY. NICK HAS NEVER PRAYED BEFORE SO HE WAS HILARIOUS – HE FORGOT TO PUT AMBY AND HIS FRIENDS DOGS IN THE PRAYER SO HE HAD TO DO IT AGAIN, AND THEN HE ENDED IT WITH “CHEERS GOD.” I THINK IT WAS BRILLIANT – STILL FROM THE HEART AND A MUCH CHEERIER PRAYER THAN AH MA’S DREARY BEGGARING.

THEN AH MA SAID SOMETHING SAPPY AND RIDICULOUS ABOUT HOW JESUS WAS WITHIN MY COMPLETELY UNRELIGIOUS BROTHER AND HOW HE HAD SENT NICK TO CHEER HER UP AND NICK LAPPED IT UP LIKE A GOOD SUCK UP WHICH I TEASED HIM FOR AFTERWARDS. THEN HE TACKLED ME TO TRY HUG ME SO I SAT ON HIM AND PRETENDED I WAS GOING TO SPIT ON HIM IN FUN AND HE CRIED “JESUS HELP ME” IN MOCKERY AND AMBY WAS EXCITED COS WE WERE, SO STARTED BITING HIS HEAD. THEN WHEN MUM CAME IN TO SEND US TO BED HE SAID “THE INDIAN MAN WITH THE STICK DIDN’T COME, SO JESUS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT REAL, MUM,” ALLUDING TO A STORY AH MA TOLD US ABOUT A DOG WHICH ATTACKED HER AND WHEN SHE CRIED JESUS CHRIST HELP ME AN INDIAN MAN CAME WITH A STICK TO CHASE THE GOD AWAY AND WE ALL LAUGHED.

ANYWAY IT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST DRAMATIC (HOPEFULLY) DRAMA-WISE DAY YESTERDAY IT WILL EVER BE AND TODAY AH MA IS BEING EVEN MORE (IF POSSIBLE) SULKY AND NEGATIVE AND GAVE ME A LECTURE ON BEING YOUNG THAT’S WHY I SPEAK THAT WAY TO HER AND STILL MAKING SNIDE COMMENTS TO TRY AND UNBALANCE ME BECAUSE SHE’S UNHAPPY I’VE STILL REFUSED TO SAY SORRY. IT’S HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE MADE ME TAKE A PICTURE WITH JUST NICK TO REMEMBER THE OCCASION LOL AND THEN SHE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH SAM OUR COUSIN, MADE IT POINTED TO SAY I LOVE YOU AND THAT SAM IS A VERY GOOD SISTER AS IF I WASN’T. IT’S A SHAME I FIND IT ALL SO PATHETIC REALLY THAT IT HAS NO EFFECT. SHE WENT OUT WITH GRANT HER PRIEST BOYFRIEND WHO IS 41 AND THEREFORE MUST BE A COMPLETE AND UTTER WEIRDO TO RING HER AND TAKE HER OUT. GRANT TOOK HER TO THE BANK (YAWN). ANYWAY THANK GOODNESS I LEAVE FOR SYDNEY ON SUNDAY BECAUSE I CAN’T REALLY SEE HER VISIT IMPROVING OUR RELATIONSHIP ANY. THAT’S MY RECAP OF THE DAY ANYWAY, MORE A DRAMATIC RANT THAN ANY PROPER RECAP, BUT – IT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. ‘TILL THE NEXT ENTRY!

[jmkieper13]

No News Is....No News

Well, it’s been a bit since I’ve updated, really because there isn’t much to update. We are still waiting for the hyperstimulation to collect itself and calm the heck down so we can resume trying with a new approach, and in the meantime, I’ve decided I need to take these super crappy lemons and try to make something resembling lemonade, as the sage-like doctor on ‘This is Us’ would say. With that, I started doing some research, and stumbled onto a blog written by a woman with PCOS that has successfully had two children, that was discussing how her approach to dealing with her PCOS diagnosis was to immediately adjust her diet. What did she do? She cut out gluten. I was trying to get my head on board with cutting carbs entirely, and was really struggling with it. The thought of no bread, fine…but the thought of no bread, fruits, or half of the veggies out there made me immediately just picture a life of bland chicken breasts with no sauces (too much sugar), no potatoes, no fruits, and that sounded so hard to me. Hard I’m obviously no stranger to, I’ve dealt with plenty of hard things in my life, especially through these last 3.5 years of dealing with the emotional tornado that is infertility. But there’s hard…inconvenient…and there’s hard…impractical for long term sustainability….and this felt, for me, like it was just not something that was sustainable. I didn’t want to develop habits that, as soon as I get pregnant I completely abandon and find myself with a super unhealthy pregnancy, gaining weight at an alarming speed, and unable to re-lose it after I have that baby, and spend the rest of my life miserable because of it. I wanted something that seemed more manageable to me, and something that I feel like I can sustain long term. So, I did more research on the connection between cutting out gluten and PCOS leading to success in conceiving and managing symptoms. What I found was a wealth of information showing that gluten is really the aspect of carbs that is the most damaging for PCOS patients, and that this is really where a lot people need to focus their energy. Why? Gluten is inflammatory. PCOS needs anti-inflammatory to be a focus because that will keep things from flaring up like they naturally have a tendency to do. This also can help with endometriosis, as inflammatory things can make that worse, as well. So, I decided I would try to adjust things to accommodate a gluten free lifestyle. I am thrilled to report that it’s been almost a week, and so far, I’m still craving sweets, bread, and baked goods (my go-to cranberry walnut muffin from the always tempting office coffee bar, pile of pancakes, or a big sandwich are all so hard for me to force myself to stay away from) but it’s getting easier, little by little. I also am having dreams of carbs. Last night, in the middle of an otherwise awful and nightmarish dream, was the random detail of me stealing, and eating (and enjoying) someone else’s donut. After taking a bite, I walked back up to her and said that I ate her donut, but that it was delicious…just in case that helped her make peace with it, I guess. Other than that, I’ve found it a pretty easy transition! I’ve been snacking on nuts, eating protein and lots of veggies, gluten free carbs in situations where I would really find myself wanting to binge on all things wheat, and I find myself grateful every time I’m put in a situation where I fear I’ll be put in a tough spot and find that they have gluten free options. I’ve found my will power to be stronger than I anticipated it would be, and in the last two days have managed to avoid the bread basket at an Italian restaurant (followed by enjoying a salad and reasonable portion of gluten free pasta as my meal) and last night, when at a baby shower, I turned down my favorite cake…chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. These may not seem like much to anyone else, but I assure you, this was HUGE for me. I’ve been exercising again (carefully, so as to not overdo it and hurt the hyperstimulated ovaries any further), but it’s felt good to move again. I am quite tired, as I have been having these insane dreams pretty much every night, and another part of the PCOS, anti-inflammatory diet is cutting out coffee, even decaf. I haven’t had coffee in a week, and I’m definitely still missing that morning comfort…I’ve been drinking decaf exclusively for months, but even the placebo effect that comes with drinking a hot cup of decaf is missed. It does help me drink more water, and like I’ve said repeatedly to my husband (and anyone else that asks), at this point, it’s a small sacrifice, and if it leads to our rainbow baby, I’ll not even look back and think that I missed it. It will just be part of what I had to do to get to where we wanted to be. Right now, I yawn a little more, but I sleep a little deeper most nights. I’m ready to pass out for bed by 9, but I have been working out more, so the hours in my days are more meaningfully spent, so it’s a trade-off that I’m, as of yet, still okay with maintaining. In the last week, I find myself less bloated, clothes fitting a bit better, blood pressure better than it’s been in about a year, and able to maintain the gluten free lifestyle without having to cheat (though, apparently, my subconscious would disagree), and able to constantly remind myself of why I’m doing it and that winning. I’ve lost a couple of pounds, and just generally am feeling good with my decision to take this approach. As far as the hyperstimulation, we are still a couple/few weeks away from a repeat ultrasound that will hopefully show that we are ready to proceed with trying to get pregnant, and hopeful that this will have been what ultimately pushed us over that line to success. I anticipate that when we do resume trying, we will be doing so with Letrozole, and lately I’ve seen several posts in a support group that I’m in for people following NaPro like us that had the same or similar diagnoses and followed a Letrozole/HcG protocol and got pregnant pretty quickly, then maintained with progesterone support once pregnant throughout pretty much their entire pregnancy. When we go to talk to our doctor after the repeat ultrasound is done with my next cycle, I’m going to ask about the HcG approach, versus progesterone post-peak. I am absolutely not opposed to blood test as opposed to urine home tests, and if it gets us there, I’m happy to switch up the protocol that we try. It sounds like this could be the solution for us, and I’m really hopeful. I’m hopeful that the changes in my diet, the return to an active lifestyle, good sleep habits (most nights), and the right medications will be exactly what we need! On Tuesday we laid my uncle to rest. He was my dad’s older brother, leaving only their oldest still alive out of the three. I prayed a lot to dad during the funeral and asked him to make the transition from the living world an easy one for his brother, and I asked his brother to get up there and get dad to work! That we have too many guardian angels to still be down here begging for our miracle, and he needs to get to work up there! I also thought about how I’ve been told that dad is up there with our babies, taking care of them until it’s time to send them down….so I asked my uncle to let dad know that it’s time to share. It’s time to send our babies down. It’s time to be grandpa from a distance. Time to let mom be a grandma. Time to let us be parents. For my sister and brother to be an aunt and uncle. There is no nice way to say that we don’t know how much longer my sister will be here on earth with us, and as hard of a time as I’ve had with dad not being alive to know our kids on earth, it would really bother me if my sister doesn’t live long enough to experience being an aunt, because I assure you it’s a special kind of love. Speaking of my sister, I was doing a fair job of holding it together during the funeral, while cracking a couple of times, but really lost it when, during the mass, my sister leaned over to me during the petitions portion of the mass and said to me, “I prayed for you,” when we were asked to offer up the prayers that we hold in the silence of our hearts. I thanked her, and crumbled. I was absolutely touched that she, in the midst of an endless list of health issues and things for herself that she could pray for, she chose to pray for us. I was honored. I am honored. Another thing that happened on the day of the funeral was I talked to a woman from our parish growing up that had come to pay her respects, and she is an elderly woman with, I believe, 12 or 13 kids, and 28 (we asked her that day) grandkids, and when she asked how long we had been married now, and I said 3.5 years, she smiled and said, “Good job, keep it up!” and when I mentioned that we’ve been struggling with infertility and are hopeful that we’ll soon be able to start our family, she looked at me and said that before she was married she was told she would never have children of her own. This was drilled into her to the point that she had the talk with her now husband regarding her never being able to give him children and asking if he would be able to make peace with that. He took a chance on her, and God proved that doctor wrong. She said it wasn’t until after a full-term stillbirth shattered her, and she had a discussion with her priest about how she was struggling, that she was sent to a new doctor, got a second opinion and a new approach at treatment, and was able to have the large family that she and her husband had always dreamed of having. It gave me so much hope. She insisted that I continue to pray, give it up to God, and never forget that NOTHING is impossible with Him. That what may seem impossible to us is nothing to God, and He can change our circumstances in an instant, so never give up hope. To keep praying and it will happen in the perfect time. It was a beautiful talk. This morning I saw another sunny day rainbow, and realized that maybe this whole time they’ve just been there to reassure me that we’re on the right path. To let me know that we’re being led, and that we’re doing exactly what we’re supposed to be, and that our miracle is right around the corner. Keep those rainbows coming…and I hope soon we’ll have our own to hold here on earth! Thank you again for taking the time to be a part of our journey, and for the thoughts, prayers, and support. It will be such an honor to celebrate with you WHEN we get there! 🙏🏻❤