#but not in either of the two photos I've seen from the 31st

[svyat0s]

Well, happy new year. I don't know how your Samhain and Halloween was, but I had a creepy creepy, Dybr's admins announced that they were introducing snowflake censorship and the Complaint button. And this curtsy in the direction of snitches and offended by everything is the reason, of course, to get off the resource. And I don't want to, it's the best resource I've come across in 10+ years. That's why I was afraid of all 31st, bombing in comments, fighting with snowflakes, until the admin closed comments to the post and said, folks, don't panic all of you, we'll shake it all. Well, now I'm as it is supposed to be on a horror holiday scared as hell)))). In short, more than Dybr's admins I was scared only by the Russian government in 2015th, when the obscurantist contagion went everywhere (yes, I'm a bit slow, it began at 2012, but I can be excused, because I lived in Krasnoyarsk, and this is a city of fairy-tale unicorns and this mold does not reach there, and if it does, it is either put on a plane and taken to the region to show, or it freezes out).

Here we go. We lit candles at dawn for everyone living in the house (and a little bit for imaginary and/or distant friends), by evening the candles were burned out and I poured out when they went out the remains on the paper, as part of the fortune-telling. Here's this dawn ritual this fortune-telling doesn't involve, but I combined. Well, interpreting wax, like book fortune-telling is always fun. Today is the First Light Night, we'll do all sorts of fortune-telling too)))

In the evening we welcomed the new year, again walked between the bonfires, threw there whole lists of wishes, turned off the lights and from the candle lit candles again, then the light turned on))) Candles in the Night of Samhain, these, from the new fire, should burn until dawn. So we watched some horror movies.

We saw three movies. The first was Post Mortem, as usual, it's bourgeois nonsense. Both the village Hungarian, and camerawork were good, but the content is a crap. The second movie Russian Master of dolls, we liked the movie the most of the three watched. Everything was done great, the whole story was told. Well, there was a little bit of cliche, children running through a field of corn, and it's for nothing, well, it's secondary bare. Kids, corn. Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was the pattern I like, the usual horror movie pattern - the fey girl, the main character, the weird nerd boy, and the alpha boy. And now they show, less often than I would like, but still in more than one movie I've seen, that the alpha boy is also drawn into the creepiness and decides there. It's cool, I like that kind of thing. The third movie Sinevir, Ukrainian, trial of ethno-horror, but not happened. Although the nature of the Carpathians was marvelous. But the script Alyoshechkin wrote is so bad. And the ending is slimy. Although it could have been strong. If not for the stupidity of the creators.

And at night we went around the perimeter of the house with a candle of new fire, and we had a big spider web and a big spider on the yard-stove. And we started taking pictures of it, of course. And I don't know how to explain it, I've never just had that before or with anything, in short, you point your phone at it, physically the spider doesn't move, but in the camera of the phone it comes closer, two or three leaps, closer to the camera, the way they (spiders) move, you know, when you can't see the movement. So there he was, reality has shifted and he's closer. We checked several times, he posed for us like that, it turns out, mentally getting closer. Because the zoom on the camera was not only that we did not touch, but it did not change the digital values. We called Marik, and the spider showed him how he did it. And then he, apparently, decided that that's it, we took a photo and stopped approaching))) on part of the photos he sat in place. It's a pity that we couldn't capture such a thing on video)))) frank sorcery)) but we took pictures, I'll share them. Here is where he is as if in a circle of stars (with eyes so was not visible, and on the camera so reflected) - this is the real distance, and where he is close, this is he jumped to the camera, remaining physically in place.

Here are pictures of the spirits of fire and air. Oh, and I don't know if you can see on the photo, today we burned a little bit of food as an offering, and when the fires were burning down, here, on the photo, the coals, they were folded into the shapes of two hearts)))) well, it was more visible with the eyes.

Photo are here:https://albireo-mkg.com/2023/11/01/31st

[makeitquietly]

Eddie Dowling, Ray Bolger, Mitzi Mayfair, Louis Polanski, Stan Laurel, Jane Pickens, Benay Venuta, John Garfield and Oliver Hardy at Mitchel Field, New York, 31 October 1941

The Evening Star, 29 October 1941:

[miracles-totally-come-true]

When I Will Be Gone (1/2)

Trigger Warning: Suicide

Pairing: Logince

Summary: Logan loves Roman with all of his heart. Logan can see that Roman wants to do more with his life. Logan can also see that his own life just isn’t working. Logan thinks he can fix both of their problems.

Roman only wants to spend his life with his boyfriend. He’s perfectly fine with giving up on his dreams if it means waking up every day to see Logan’s face.

Roman wishes he had said that sooner.

Ao3 link: (Tumblr isn’t letting me link it in a neat and simple way, so you get a large oversized link to the fic)

This was meant to be read as a oneshot, but since Tumbr doesn’t like me for some reason, here’s the second part

A quick note:

When anything is written in italics, this means that the text is part of Logan's recording. The recording takes place a few hours earlier than the story's present day.

—————————

By the time you are listening to this, I will be gone. Not dead, most likely, but gone.

January 18th, six years prior to the recording

Sunlight dancing through the trees, the scent of roses in the air. Logan and Roman sat on a checkered picnic blanket, hand in hand.

Roman, I love you more than the world, but I think we both know that I was always bound to fail as your boyfriend.

March 15th, six years prior to the recording

The last scene in the movie had come to a close, just as Logan finally stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up. Roman glanced down at his boyfriend, who was leaning on his shoulder, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

I that thought I was helping you to achieve your dreams, but I now see that all I was doing was holding you back. I wish I had seen sooner.

November 3rd, six years prior to the recording

Roman quietly opened his boyfriend's bedroom door. He draped a blanket over the shoulders of the figure passed out at the desk and placed the cupcake he had carried in beside the mountain of paperwork.

"Happy birthday, my love," Roman whispered.

Roman, you are the most incredible human being I have ever met.

December 1st, six years prior to the recording

A smile fluttered across Roman's lips as Logan brushed a strand of hair out of his boyfriend's eyes.

The way your eyes light up when you smile fills me with a kind of joy that I did not think I had the ability to possess.

January 18th, five years prior

Roman grinned and leaned into Logan's arms

"Happy anniversary! I love you so, so much,"

The blush that dances across your cheeks when out eyes meet is nothing less than adorable.

January 31st, five years prior

They stared into each other's eyes. Moonlight just barely lit up the room. Roman hoped that it was too dark for Logan to notice how red Roman's face must be.

Watching you spin around the room laughing when your favourite Disney songs come on always ends with my cheeks hurting from smiling.

February 14th, five years prior

Logan's quiet laughter filled the air as his boyfriend pulled him up from the couch.

"C'mon specs," Roman pulled him closer. "Let's dance."

Listening to you talk about the things that you're passionate about always melts my heart. I love you so much.

March 21st, five years prior

"I GOT THE GIG!" Roman had applied for a job preforming stories for children at the local theatre. "Let's have a drink to celebrate!"

Logan looked at him in confused amusement as Roman grabbed a bottle opener. "....babe thats a bottle of soda, not exactly the kind of drink one would use to celebrate with."

And it's because of how much I care, that I must leave. I can see that you're hiding your emotions behind your smiles.

May 30th, five years prior

Roman wiped a tear off his cheek as he put on a fake smile. He stared at the figure in the mirror. Roman loved Logan more than he could even imagine. His boyfriend was the best thing to ever happen to him. It didn't matter that Roman had lost every job he had tried to keep. It would be okay.

You clearly want more than anything to follow your dreams but you don't. Why?

June 12th, five years prior

Roman pressed his lips to his boyfriend's knuckles. "I'd travel to the moon and back if it meant simply seeing your face."

So many hours were spent with me laying on my bedroom floor, trying to figure out why you refused to go out into the world and pursue a better life. Then it hit me. I am the problem.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman's jaw dropped and his heart fell as he listened to the recording that he had found in his and Logan's apartment. It had been addressed to him, and he had found it sitting beside a single blood red rose, and a golden locket containing a photo of him and Logan. It hadn't been long before Roman had put two and two together and figured out that there was something else going on here. This sounded bad.

As long as I stay by your side, you'll stay stuck in an unfulfilling life.

July 2nd, five years prior

They lay in a meadow, side by side, fingers entwined.

"I love you Logan,"

"I love you too,"

Please don't be sad.

August 15th, five years prior

Logan wiped away the tear rolling down Roman's cheek.

I would have told you all this in person, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to bare seeing your pain. I knew that I'd back out the second we stood face to face.

Present day, Roman's perspective

Roman picked up the rose. He ignored the thorns that pricked his skin.

"Logan, why, why why why," he could feel more tears forming.

I love you so much, Roman. I never would have gotten this far in life without you, but as they always say mall good stories must come to an end.

December 26th, five years prior

Roman closed the storybook, a smile on his face. He plucked the glasses off his sleeping boyfriend's face and set them on the nightstand.

I've hit the metaphorical dead end.

January 30th, four years prior

Roman glanced at Logan, who was sitting in the passenger seat,

"I-I think we're lost,"

"Now you admit it?" Logan raised an eyebrow. "Here, let me drive for a bit."

My family disowned me for my sexuality.

February 13th, four years prior

Roman's heart dropped as he saw the mess of tears streaming down the typically calm man's face. "You told them?"

"...I did."

I was fired from my job at the lab, simply because I argued that the animals being used as test subjects were not being treated fairly.

January 1st, four weeks prior

"They're fools for firing someone as intelligent as you,"

"No, they're right to do this. I tried to think with my heart instead of my head for once, and made the mistake of bringing emotions into a workplace,"

"Well either way, they just lost their best scientist,"

All of my friends left eventually because of how many walls I put up.

December 2nd, two months prior

"Did Virgil call?" Roman frowned when he saw the sad look on Logan's face.

"Yes, yes he did. I'd rather not talk about it though. How about we make dinner?"

My own cautiousness and inability to be overly emotional have been my own undoing. You are the last good thing left in my life.

March 14th, four years prior

"Logan, you are absolutely not just an emotionless robot! You're the sweetest guy I know. Don't you dare let any assholes tell you otherwise!"

I may not believe in soulmates, but I truly think that we are as close as it gets.

June 8th, four years prior

"Aw, you don't think that we're soulmates?" Roman said with a pout in his face. "Why not?"

"I simply said that I don't believe in such things," Logan pressed a quick kiss to Roman's forehead. "Now get sleep, we both have work to do tomorrow."

My story has come to an end, but yours is just beginning.

August 17th, four years prior

Roman gazed lovingly at the stacks of books lining the shelves that surrounded the place where Roman and Logan sat.

I know that I don't have the emotional capacity to be able to make an accurate estimation as to how long it will take for you to be able to get over this, but for both of our sakes, I do hope it will be quick.

October 6th, four years prior

Roman sighed. His boyfriend had obviously stayed up all night working again. When he peeked at the pile of notes on Logan's desk, his face lit up. From the looks of it, Logan had started teaching a course at a local college, which had always been something he had wanted to do.

I can tell that you're hiding sadness underneath all the smiles, you don't hide it very well.

December 31st, four years prior

Smiles. Grins. Laughter. Joy. Roman's entire life was based around joy. He couldn't just go tell Logan that he was sad about losing another job, that would ruin his whole facade. No, he would have to just get another job as quickly as possible.

I haven't seen enough of your genuine smiles lately.

January 14th, three years prior

Roman was so happy for the first time in what felt like ages. Logan had finally agreed to get a pet! Granted, it was a goldfish, because Logan claimed that neither of them had the time to take care of a puppy, but a pet nonetheless!

He named it Roman Jr.

You clearly want to do something more with your life, but you don't.

February 14th, three years prior

"Vegas would be a nice place to live one day, or LA. Ooh maybe London,"

"What, life isn't enough for you?"

"Never,"

And since I've heard you joke about me being the tether keeping you from being a star, it wasn't hard to realize that the only logical explanation is that I'm the one keeping you stuck in this small town where it is impossible for you to follow your dreams.

Present day, Roman's perspective

"I never meant it. They were nothing more than jokes. I would do anything to keep the small life we share," yet more tears rolled down Roman's face as he spoke to the empty room.

I say that you are the only thing left in this world for me, but if you can't be happy with the life we have, then I have truly failed.

April 7th, three years prior

They lay on a Roman's bed, a Disney movie playing on his laptop, long forgotten. Roman snuggled closer, savouring the moment.

The only way I can think of to fix this, is to completely disappear.

July 25th, three years prior

They sat under a cherry blossom tree, watching the petals fall around them.

"This is magical," Roman's voice was barely a whisper.

"There's noting out of the ordinary about the situation, except for the fact that the petals are dropping later in the year than they usually would," Roman merely grinned.

You're the only one who could possibly miss me, so I have three requests for you.

Next part