#but myka doesn't even let that stop her!! she's like no fuck that i WILL take this guy down for real

[cloysterbell]

Pete, I need you to stay here.

[purlturtle]

❤️🧡🤍🩷💜A WLW ASK MEME❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 List the top 10 ladies you’ve been obsessed with Ever Of All Time! Then send this on to 5 sapphic mutuals 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Oh wow thank you!

And, I just saw your own answer to this, and I gotta say I relate so hard to the "fictional ladies only" part. When I latch on to someone, it's typically a fictional character, because we know both so much about them (what the story tells us) and so little (the spaces in which we can make up our own ideas and headcanons). And the second half especially is never for me to become obsessed with someone, and it just doesn't sit right with me to do that with real people.

Also, I don't have ten to list, no matter how I slice it. "Obsessed" is a big word; for me, that's the point where I actively (not just reactively in response to someone else's thoughts) think about that character, their backstory (both canon and imagined), their reactions to situations and scenarios, sometimes the question of shipping, all that.

Yeah, of those, I got four.

Deanna Troi was my first love, and will always be my Imzadi, in a way. I identified so much with her. I too felt emotions so strongly, and it was great and wonderful to see that depicted as an *asset*, as something cherished not just by her but by the people around her, as something central to her life and her profession. Also, to see her defend that life and her choices against her mother, who wanted different things for her, and seeing her state very clearly that no, she was choosing *this* path and it was good for her? Came at an entirely crucial time (I was ten when I started watching TNG. It was airing then, so it accompanied me till I was seventeen) to help me take a similar stance with my life.

I also adored the relationship she had with Riker. I adored that even though they broke up, and *badly*, he supported her. Not her him - those storylines are myriad, and often to the woman's detriment, unfortunately - but HE SUPPORTED HER. Without afterthought, just because he still cared for her. I fucking loved that. No jealousy, no pushing, just care offered freely. It spoke to me and shaped me just as much as identifying with her did.

In checking out what else Kate Mulgrew had done, because I didn't want to stop looking at her face and gestures, nor listening to her voice, I found Warehouse 13, and both Myka Bering and Helena Wells full-on whammied me.

I met Kathryn Janeway, *really* met her, in my early thirties. I hadn't watched Voyager when it aired - don't even really know why; just that I didn't - and got my teeth into it DEEPLY after a bad breakup. I instantly fell in love with her. I didn't want to *be* her (that, I already had with Deanna 😂😂), I wanted to be with her. Honest to Xena imagined myself onto Voyager, half like a teenager, half in the fiercest case of "I can fix her" that you can imagine. This obsession carried me into writing, and that carried me, slowly but surely, into fandom as a community space, not just a solitary "I love this show" feeling.

This was the first *ship* I became obsessed with, and that hasn't stopped. I don't ship anyone else as hard as I ship them, and for the first time, I experienced an obsession that wasn't immediately personal (no "I want to be her" no "I want to be with her" just "LOOK AT THEM AAAAARGHH"). I wanted them together. I wanted them to heal each other, for Myka to make Helena better and for Helena to make Myka "worse" (as in, less rule-bound, able to let go and enjoy herself more). I wanted them to be happy ever after, but I also ADORED the pain of them being denied that along the way, because it made them both more complex, more real characters. Helena had so much baggage, had gone through so much (Myka too; I'll get to her) - it would have felt too fairytale for Myka to just waltz in there and suddenly everything was peachy. And I LOVED that the writers sent Helena away to deal with her shit on her own. I know the Doylist explanation is that Jaime didn't have time to appear more often on the show, but the way that the writers chose to deal with that rings so fucking true for her character and her arc. Yes, my heart broke when Myka said that HG was who knew where (God, Jo's face when she stares teary-eyed and forlorn into empty space should come with a fucking warning). And yes, my heart broke in Instinct all over again. But it makes sense. It makes so much sense to me, and I love and respect the writers for giving Helena that. The space to search for healing on her own terms, *on her own*. Fucking feral over it.

And Myka. Closed off from pain incurred through loving and caring. Still protective as fuck so that others might not incur such pain. Like, her loss didn't make her callous! She doesn't take it out on others; she brings it all inside. (And I will love Pete forever for seeing that, and both respecting it and yet still being there, poking in ways that are so very him and yes, probably infuriating at times but also, maybe, the exact thing Myka needed. That man has an instinctive emotional intelligence that is astounding, if you're ready to overlook him licking mustard off Farnsworths.)

I love them. I am obsessed with them. I want to put them in every story I see. I want to make them find each other in the show's canon, in every AU I can think of, in every way I can think of. Their story - both them as individuals and the dynamic between them as a couple - is so fucking intriguing; it's the ultimate catnip and I am full-on addicted. And it is through them that I finally found a home in fandom as a community space, with all my other wonderfully deranged Bering and Wells shippers, all equally feral about them. And I love it; I love y'all, I love this us that we have.

To see her fall in love without even realizing it was - ungh. AND WITH A WOMAN. FUCK ME. JUST. ARGH.

Nothing I've ever felt for any other character comes close to these four. They hold a special place in my life and in my heart, and that is why I'm putting only these four here and not more. Anyone else I were to put next to them would be a desaturated blurry blob, overexposed and overshadowed by these four queens.

Thank you for asking! I loved having the opportunity to gush about these ladies who have my heart.

[a-windsor]

I’m aware it’s the next morning and the chatty might have warn off but what are your favourite traits/least favourite traits for all your fic babies (I’m talking tiny agents, thing!verse and the baby assassins). Gimme all that info 😈

Oh wow!

Thing!verse (Grey's Anatomy)

Asa Daniel Robbins-Torres

Favorite: He is a good man in the storm. And the best big brother to ever brother (sorry Damian and Max). More introspective than the others.

Least: Ugh stop with the will they/won't they for once and just marry Katie Shepherd, sheesh! (Spoiler alert - he does.) More introspective than the others. (yes this is a favorite and least). Also like, military industrial complex.

Lena Rose Robbins-Torres

Favorite: Girl is charming as fuck. Charming. As. Fuck. Who doesn't aspire to have game like Lena's?

Least: SO EXTRA. ALL THE TIME. EXHAUSTINGLY EXTRA. She is also fairly arrogant, cause golden child.

Caroline Grace Robbins-Torres

Favorite: Sweet Caroline! She is so grumpy but with a soft heart underneath. She is 1000% not here for Arizona and Lena's extra-chirpy everything and yet, she will throw down with anyone who hurts anyone. Knows who she is and owns it. Also, honestly, a true good man in a storm. Maybe even more than Asa.

Least: I mean, she grows up to be a cop...

Mateo Oliver Robbins-Torres

Favorite: Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer. He's still my blog description! This kid is so secure in who he is and an actual ray of sunshine.

Least: Nothing. Teo is a perfect angel. (I mean ok, maybe the constant movement would slowly drive me insane.)

Tiny Agents (Warehouse 13)

Macsen Lattimer

Favorite: Packbonding on steroids, just like his dad, always willing to say "this is MY brother, MY family", loves all the crazy Warehousers and also is a badass baby hacker.

Least: OK, like, at some point, it's very annoying that only Claudia and Max can access any tech in the Warehouse family. Also very easily distracted.

Alexander George Wells-Bering

Favorite: Sigh. This is the gentlest little boy in the whole world. Thoughtful and sweet, loves nothing more than a book or a puzzle. He gets that from Myka.

Least: Ally is also a perfect angel. (I mean, ok, he is way too fucking smart and he really knows it and it makes him a bit arrogant. He gets that from HG.)

Tiny Assassins (Arrowverse)

Damian 'Faris' al Ghul

Favorite: Not at all interested in anyone else's definitions of family. He'll pick his own, thank you very much. Really compassionate (see: not murdering Bruce when everyone else would) and funny.

Least: He'll bottle things up, which is no good. Maybe too compassionate for people like freaking Bruce.

Azra 'Al Thill' al Ghul

Favorite: Genius child. Ever watchful, always four steps ahead.

Least: Honestly a bit of a stick in the mud. Also despite being four steps ahead, she will stand aside and let her sister get into shenanigans that she definitely could have stopped. (This last one is Umm Saleem's chief complaint.)

Soraya 'Al Ameerah' al Ghul

Favorite: I think it's clear from my writing that I adore Soraya. She is fearless and vicious and great fun, at all times. Lives outside of norms and doesn't care what you think. Also not yet revealed in canon but Gay As Fuck. BDE for sure.

Least: Murder Kitten is supremely fucked up on some level, honestly? Like when even her assassin parents are like "maybe this kid likes killing too much?" it really is something. Also godddddddddddd she can be very annoying. Very. Annoying. I'm with Azra on refusing to share a room with her. Also shares an obnoxious will they/won't they with [spoiler*].

*this spoiler can easily be pried from me with follow up guesses.