#but my real skin -- my real self -- i worry that i'm just a sour bitch. like don't hand me your toddler please. don't talk to me about marri
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Should I see a therapist for my unexplained contempt for my Heterosexual Family Members and their wedding planning and their baby-craziness y/n?
#like at this point i'm really going to hell for my feelings alone dfghjgfds#there's nothing really bad about them!! nothing to really dislike!! i just feel so much annoyance and resentment#something shifted in me in the past year and i fear it's turning me into a sour old bitch. but also....... oh well....?#a therapist would probably propose that i'm secretly jealous or insecure and.... i am definitely not jealous but i miiiight be insecure#about being 25 and not feeling like a woman and going in no direction. not planning to get married or have kids#so what kind of woman am i? also just being forced to engage with the straightest cissest people in my daily life#wears you down.#i have no reason to dread this eventual wedding (partner's brother's wedding). in fact it's going to be fun!! weddings are fun right...?#but lord..... my partner and i basically have to wear different skins around some family members. even though we probably don't have to...#but my real skin -- my real self -- i worry that i'm just a sour bitch. like don't hand me your toddler please. don't talk to me about marri#*marriage. don't push me into the kitchen to do dishes with the other women.#even our queer friends all want to have kids one day. is it just going to be me and my partner babysitting 5 kids?#because again not to sound like a bitch but i am Not Comfortable nor cut out for it.#god i'm nervous about meeting my partner's brother's fiancee's family. holy fuck i'm nervous.#imagining myself telling them that i'm doing my undergrad in gender studies of all things PPPFFFFGHJGFDGJHFG#like this tiny bare-faced girl with a moustache introduces herself at this traditional wedding like 'yeah i'm a disgusting feminist' LOLLLL#one fear.
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