#but my dad did not call my nani or my mom's siblings once. NOT ONCE. never asked about her. never did anything

[emulation-0]

my mom is the best person in this household and she is the best person in this whole fucking family and im sick of people acting like its otherwise

[lilohno]

BASIC QUESTIONS

First name? “Lilo.”

Surname? “Pelekai.”

Middle names? “Makamae Kailea.”

Nicknames? “Weirdlo, Freaklo. My dad used to call me Sport.”

Date of birth? “March 11th, 2002.”

Age? “Nineteen.”

PHYSICAL / APPEARANCE

Height? “5′3.”

Weight? “119.”

Build? “Small.”

Hair color? “Black.”

Hair style? “Long.”

Eye color? “Brown.”

Eye shape? “I’ve got big eyes.”

Glasses or contact lenses? “Neither!”

Distinguishing facial features? “My dimples or laugh lines or whatever they are.”

Which facial feature is most prominent? “I don’t think anything stands out that much.”

Which bodily feature is most prominent? “My hair.”

Other distinguishing features? “Hm, nothing.”

Skin? “Tan.”

Hands? “Small.”

Make up? “I don’t wear makeup often. There’s no point. It’s just going to smear when I get in the water, and I’m always in the water.”

Scars? “A small faded line on my right shin, who knows how I got that.”

Birthmarks? “I don’t have any.”

Tattoos? “Nani would kill me. I should do it.”

Physical handicaps? “None.”

Type of clothes? “I like muumuus, shorts, tank tops and grass skirts.”

How do you wear their clothes? “I rock them!”

What are their feet like? “Usually shoeless. I don’t mind flip flops and sandals, but I’d rather be barefoot.”

Race / Ethnicity? “It’s a mixed bag.”

Mannerisms? “Overexaggerating.”

Are you in good health? “Yes.”

Do you have any disabilities? “Nope.”

PERSONALITY

What words or phrases do you overuse? “I don’t think I overuse anything.”

Do you have a catchphrase? “No, but I should. That’d be cool.”

Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? “Depends on the day.”

Are you introverted or extroverted? “Extra extro.”

Do you ever put on airs? “I am who I am, you get what you get.”

What bad habits do you have? “Letting my emotions control me.”

What makes you laugh out loud? “Stanley, he’s the funniest guy I know.”

How do you display affection? “I’m a gift giver, a hand holder and a hugger. I’ll also take a lot of pictures of you. A lot.”

Mental handicaps? “Sometimes I feel like I’m emotionally immature.”

How do you want to be seen by others? “Cool! I want people to think I’m cool.”

How do you see themselves? “Different. There’s not a lot of people like me.”

How are you seen by others? “Weird.”

Strongest character trait? “I would say my resilience.”

Weakest character trait? “Refusing to ask people for help.” 

How competitive are you? “Why, what are we playing? You’re going down, buddy!”

Do you make snap judgements or take time to consider? “I consider… whether or not the snap judgement I just made was good or not.”

How do you react to praise? “I get all smiley.”

How do you react to criticism? “I’m okay with criticism if it’s actually criticism, if it’s someone being bossy or mean, I’m gonna get mouthy.”

What is your greatest fear? “Car accidents.”

What are your biggest secrets? “You’ll find out over my dead body!”

What is your philosophy of life? “Where there is love there is life. That’s by Gandhi.”

When was the last time you cried? “On the plane ride here.”

What haunts you? “The time I told my mom she was the worst mom ever. I didn’t mean it. I hope she didn’t remember that.”

What are your political views? “People should be able to love who they love, race and sex shouldn’t change a thing, and if it’s your body, it’s your choice.”

What will you stand up for? “Everything I believe in.”

Who do you quote? “My mama and my daddy.”

Are you indoorsy or outdoorsy? “Outdoors! I wish I could just hang a hammock up and sleep on the beach every night.”

What is your sinful little habit? “Sneaking pictures of strangers.”

What sense do you most rely on? “My sight.”

How do you treat people better than you? “I try to learn from them.”

How do you treat people worse than you? “They’re only worse than me because they’re a bunch of stinky bullies… and I still treat them better than they treat me.”

What quality do you most value in a friend? “Uniqueness and goodness!”

What do you consider an overrated virtue? “Tolerance. I shouldn’t have to tolerate someone else being annoying if I don’t feel like it.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “I wouldn’t change anything about myself. I like myself.”

What is your obsession? “Elvis freaking Presley.”

What are your pet peeves? “Being told what to do.”

What are your idiosyncrasies? “Before we moved I had to feed Pudge the fish every day. I hope someone is still feeding him. I hope he didn’t get mad at me.”

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Is your family big or small? Who does it consist of? “It’s small. Right now there’s only me and Nani, but my mom and dad still count too. And Stanley, Stanley is my chosen family.”

What is your perception of family? “Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

Do you have siblings? Older or younger? “Yeah, I’m the youngest.”

Describe your best friend. “He’s accepting, he’s funny, he likes me for who I am, he’s willing to learn and grow, and he’s loyal.”

Ideal best friend? “Stanley Jookiba.”

Describe your other friends. “I don’t have any other friends.”

Describe your acquaintances. “I don’t have any of those either.”

Do you have any pets? “I wish.”

Who are your natural allies? “Just Stanley.”

Who are your surprising allies? “Is Stanley surprising? If so, him. If not, no one.”

PAST AND FUTURE

What were you like as a baby? As a child? “I was happy. I was loud and headstrong and I stuck out like a sore thumb when I tried to bond with other kids. I haven’t changed all that much.”

Did you grow up rich or poor? “We did okay until it was just me and Nani.”

Did you grow up nurtured or neglected? “Nurtured. There was so much love.”

What is the most offensive thing you ever said? “Anything I said when I was mad at my parents. I didn’t mean it. I wish I could take it back.”

What is your greatest achievement? “My wall of Polaroids. They’re beautiful.”

What was your first kiss like? “This kid at school said I was too chicken to kiss a boy, so I kissed him. He didn’t like it much.”

What is the worst thing you did to someone you loved? “I’ve caused a lot of trouble for Nani. I don’t think she even cares.”

What are your ambitions? “To stop ocean pollution once and for all.”

What advice would you give your younger self? “Hug your parents every chance you get, and keep being you.”

What smells remind you of your childhood? “Sand.”

What was your childhood ambition? “To be the best hula dancer, just like my mom.”

What is your best childhood memory? “All the times we sat outside laughing at the silly constellations m mom would make up.”

What is your worst childhood memory? “The night my parents never came back home.”

Did you have an imaginary childhood friend? “I had a few.”

When was the last time you were crushed with disappointment? “When Nani told me we had to move.”

What past act are you most ashamed of? “One time I got into a fight and bit the girl. I got in trouble. I don’t know if I’m ashamed though, she deserved it.”

What past act are you most proud of? “The hula dancing competitions I won.”

Has anyone ever saved your life? “In a way, I feel like Stanley did.”

Strongest childhood memory? “Surfing with my dad. I’d sit on the board with him when I was too young to even walk, and he’d paddle us out to the middle of the ocean. I always thought it was so cool.”

LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight? “Maybe.”

Are you in a relationship? “Ew, no.”

How do you behave in a relationship? “I’ve never been in one.”

When did you last have sex? “No, no, no!”

What sort of sex do you have? “And I’ll say again, ew.”

Have you ever been in love? “Only with Elvis.”

Have you ever had your heart broken? “I had to go to gravestones to tell my parents I graduated high school. Yes, my heart has been broken.”

CONFLICT

How do you respond to a threat? “Swingin’.”

Are you most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? “My fists.”

What is your kryptonite? “Shaved ice.”

If you could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? “The last picture I have of my parents.”

How do you perceive strangers? “Interesting. Very interesting.”

What do you love to hate? “My big sister. I love her, but she’s annoying.”

What are your phobias? “I… I don’t like cars or storms very much.”

What is your choice of weapon? “My fists of fury!”

What living person do you most despise? “Freakin’ Mertle Edmonds.”

Have you ever been bullied or teased? “That’s all the kids back home did.”

Where do you go when you’re angry? “The beach. The ocean drowns out all of my feelings. Or I go into my bedroom and scream into a pillow.”

Who are your enemies and why? “If I had an archenemies it would be Mertle. She brought it on herself.”

WORK, EDUCATION AND HOBBIES

What is your current job? “I don’t have one, but I really need to get one. It’s getting harder and harder to afford film.”

What do you think about their current job? “Well, if you’re talking about school, it’s okay, but I’d rather be in Hawaii.”

What are some of your past jobs? “I get it! I’m a freeloader, okay? Don’t rub it in!”

What are your hobbies? “Surfing, swimming, photography, crafts, hula dancing… I may or may not dabble in a little black magic.”

Educational background? “I’m in my first year of college.”

Intelligence level? “I’m a smart kid, don’t doubt me.”

Do you have any specialist training? “No. I’m not in the CIA.”

Do you have a natural talent for something? “Surfing!”

Do you play a sport? Are you any good? “Does surfing count as a sport?”

What is their socioeconomic status? “I’m probably on the bottom.”

FAVORITES

What is your favorite animal? “Fish! I also like dogs! But fish!”

Which animal do you dislike the most? “Humans.”

What place would you most like to visit? “I’m not interested in being anywhere but home. That’s where I’d go.”

What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? “The ocean.”

What is your favorite song? “Blue Hawaii, but it’s a close tie between anything Elvis.”

Music, art, reading preferred? “Music.”

What is your favorite color? “Um… blue. Maybe.”

What is your password? “K1ngElv1sTh3K1ng.”

Favorite food: “Kalua pork.”

What is your favorite work of art? “Reflection Of You by Walfrido.”

Who is your favorite artist? “Elvis!”

What is their favorite day of the week? “Saturday.”

POSSESSIONS

What is in their fridge? “Pineapple slices. Nothing else. Well, whatever Nani has in there. I haven’t been grocery shopping yet.”

What is on your bedside table? “My lamp, a couple of seashells and one of my dad’s old books.”

What is in your car? “I don’t drive.”

What is in your bin? “A ripped up drawing I messed up on last night.”

What is in your purse or wallet? “I keep our last family picture in there or under my pillow. I have my student ID a few emergency bucks too.”

What is in your pockets? “Probably sand, some old candy and ants.”

What is their most treasured possession? “The only picture I have with my parents.”

SPIRITUALITY

Who or what is your guardian angel? “I know it’s my mom.”

Do you believe in the afterlife? “Yes.”

What are your religious views? “I just know there has to be something else.”

What do you think heaven is? “The place my parents are waiting for me.”

What do you think hell is? “Scary…”

Are you superstitious? “Very.”

What would you like to be reincarnated as? “Ooh, I wanna be a fish! Or a whale! Or maybe a dolphin!”

How would you like to die? “I don’t want to think about that. Please don’t make me think about that.”

What is your spirit animal? “The humuhumunukunukuapua’a.”

What is your zodiac sign? “Pisces.”

VALUES

What do you think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? “Belittling someone for who they are, making them feel like they have to change.”

What is your view of ‘freedom’? “Being able to swim whenever you want.”

When did you last lie? “I told Nani that it was okay we had to leave. It’s not okay.”

What’s your view of lying? “It’s not a good thing to do.”

When did you last make a promise? “A few months ago.”

Did you keep or break your last promise? “I keep my promises. All of them.”

DAILY LIFE

What are your eating habits? “I eat a lot of fruit. I love fruit.”

Do you have any allergies? “I wish I was allergic to broccoli.”

Describe your home. “Home was Kaua’i, the bedroom I grew up in, my parents’ house. What we have here isn’t a home, it’s just a house.”

Are you minimalist or a clutter hoarder? “I’m a hoarder.”

What do you do first thing on a weekday morning? “Hit snooze.”

What do you do on a Sunday afternoon? “Take a walk on the beach.”

What do you do on a Friday night? “Stay up too late watching alien documentaries and YouTube conspiracy theories. Don’t tell Nani.”

What is your soft drink of choice? “Fanta.”

What is your alcoholic drink of choice? “I cannot legally answer this question.”

MISCELLANEOUS

What or who would you dress up as for Halloween? “I’ve been all sorts of things! I’ve been a vampire, I’ve been Elvis more than once, a witch, a princess… I think I want to be a mermaid this year.”

Are you comfortable with technology? “I’m uncomfortable with how easy it is for people to hide behind a screen and be mean to each other.”

If you could save one person, who would it be? “Stanley.”

If you could call one person for help, who would it be? “Nani, if I had to.”

What is your greatest extravagance? “Camera film. That’s where all my money goes.”

What is your greatest regret? “Taking my parents for granted.”

What is your perception of redemption? “Saying sorry and meaning it. That’s all it really takes to be redeemed, isn’t it?”

What would you do if you won the lottery? “Buy my house back.”

What is your favorite fairytale? “The Ugly Duckling.”

What fairytale do you hate? “The Princess and The Pea. Who can feel a pea under that many mattresses? You can’t! Being a princess doesn’t give you some sort of other wordly status! It’s frustrating!”

Do you believe in happy endings? “I don’t know anymore.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness? “Kaua’i is happiness.”

What would you ask a fortune teller? “I’d ask them if my parents are watching over me, and if they’re proud.”

If you could travel through time, where would you go? “I’d go back to the night my mom and dad died, and I wouldn’t let them leave the house. I’d make sure they stayed safe at home with me.”

What sport do you excel at? “Dodgeball. I like chucking the balls at people’s heads.”

What sport do you suck at? “Football, it’s too confusing.”

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? “The ability to breathe underwater!”

[cereittanyprincess15]

It was my mom’s birthday on the 13th, so I decided very last minute to make her an edit of the whole family ❤ She and dad really really liked it, so there’s a frameless version that’s going to be printed out to frame for real /)w(\ Below the cut is a TON of info about each person and who they’re played by, as well as the photos in the back, and in a bit I’ll make a separate post for them because they’re so small. I had to just keep lengthening the composition so everyone could fit in fully, and in the end I made the background myself because my sister said the shot I had didn’t look like our house at all so I thought might as well go 100%.

My family from left to right:

Me :D  - Played by Ariel (with Sophie’s body). This is the first time I’ve actually made myself in full as an edited character! I tried for the first time with Elsa, but as I never even tried to attempt to change her body size (I’m a Round Boy™) I was never really happy with using it as a real representation. Despite my failed attempts at plumping up Ariel’s face without it looking weird so it still looks more like her than me, I’m really happy with this second attempt, so there I am with all my necklaces and my fav anime shirt and new glasses. I’m holding my brother’s cat Punkin (played by Sargent Tibbs, I love her more than he does though no matter how many times he argues), complete with overly large pupils and her infernal cone that everyone said I had to include.

Dad - Played by Vlad. First of all he disclaims that he’s not that round, but I also didn’t make his hair as gray as it really is, so he can live with the trade-off lol Vlad is a very round man so I had to try slimming his face a bunch to match my dad’s more rectangular head, and I totally got his eye colour wrong the first time woops and also forgot his wedding ring. When I showed mom the edit for the first time dad was wearing that exact sweater so I think I made a good clothing choice. He’s holding my sister’s cat, Tigger (played by Duchess), who is in character because she’s glaring at Punkin, whom she despises even after 10+ years of living together. My sister wanted me to add her stripes, but I felt like that was a bit too much to try and match (despite going all out for Punkin’s tail and freckles...).

Mom - Played by Annie Hughes. At first I was going to make her a video tribute as a present, but at the thought of showing me and my siblings growing up with her I got all emotional and turns out making her character had the same result. (insert gif of Wreck-It Ralph yelling ‘I LOVE MY MAMA!!’ here oh man) I was so glad she liked her animated self and was happy I chose that top cause she really likes that shirt and she looks beautiful in it but when doesn’t she look beautiful? Answer: never, she’s always beautiful.

My brother: Played by Hercules. The youngest and yet also the tallest, there was only ever one dude who could play my bro, and seriously the amount of times dad said that the edit looked just like him was hilarious. When I first asked him if he wanted to be in the edit he straight up said no, but his gf was there with him and she said yes so she could be Meg, so he relented. He laughed when he saw that he was wearing his OPPAI shirt and gave me his approval, which is really good because he’s never into my editing.

My sister: Played by Jane (with Nani’s body). She said it was out of character for her to be smiling every single time I showed her a WIP. Making her was hard because she specifically wanted to be played by an anime boy to match her true character, but I refused because this is a non/disney edit, so this is as close as I could get her. I was going to give her galaxy tights cause she loves wearing them, but once we picked out her shirt she said ‘no I have to be wearing my gray pants’ because all her outfits are delicately coordinated so even in this she had to match.

The photos from left to right:

My past cats: Iggy is played by Oliver, and Simon is played by one of the Siamese cats from Lady and the Tramp, I have no idea which one it is but the pose was perfect. So while repainting Iggy (who I personally call Babe because I would always quoted this scene whenever he walked away from me) I got really close to crying. He was really sick all the time and had to be put down years ago, I wanna say over five, and I still miss him all the time. Simon (when I called him Bubby in front of my bro he said ‘when did you ever call him that?!’ and didn’t believe me when I said the whole time) we only had for a short while, allegedly only 6 months, but I loved that cat so much; he was a really good cat with a bad tendency to jump up onto the counter to chill with me when I did the dishes and my parents thought that of course was Bad, so they eventually sent him away to live with someone else. Because it was so long ago I never got any pictures of him (only one on my old slide phone which is dead now) so I don’t even know how accurate this edit is, but I hope wherever he is he’s still going strong and is loved ;w;

My parents’ wedding: Played by Sinbad and Cinderella. My parents have this beautifully hand drawn portrait of them on their wedding that they used to hang in the living room but it’s in their room now, and I wanted to try and reference it as a bit of background decor. In the actual portrait they’re just standing there smiling, so I thought it’d be more romantic to make it a kiss.

My bro and his gf: Seeing as she definitely wanted to be Meg but didn’t understand when I asked what details she’d like to be present in her edit I had a bit more free reign with her, and my bro doesn’t hate it so it’s a win for me. I only had memory to go off when making her, and seeing as Meg is so curvy I had to repaint half her face to even her out, unlike my bro where I just had to fix his ears and nose. She lives two hours away so I hope she likes how her pic turned out whenever she gets the chance to see it.

[rezilient-m3]

February 19

Wow, it's been awhile since I've written anything. Tbh, I've been putting it off. So much has happened...

I'll start off with my sister S, the one that had liver failure. She passed on Feb 11. What a week it has been. Before that tho, she came stayed with me. Her and her daughter came to my house, late on the 2nd, and surprised me. I wasn't expecting it, and to be completely honest, I was annoyed. Not at her directly, just at them not preparing me for the chaos and who's gonna sleep where and dealing with an even fuller house lol. (There was me, my 4 kids, nanny neph, sis, niece, her bf and kid.) They all stayed until Thursday. (I won't get into Wed night, when they all went out and left me and my sick sister with her 2 yr old. I wouldn't have minded, but I had work and wouldn't leave that little girl with my sister, cuz my sister was sick and could barely go up and down my stairs.) Anyways, my sister stayed when her daughter and family left. So, that's Tuesday to Friday I had with her. And I barely spent any time with her. I was working, then I'd come home and do the usual (cook, clean, kids), and she was always in bed. Now, looking back, I regret not just laying there with her. I had that chance to just be there and chill. But how was I supposed to know that would have been my last time with her?

Friday, my mum and our older sister, R, show up. I did not know, at the time, that their main reason coming to the city was to spend time with me and my kids. Anyways, they came and took 2 out of 4 kids, to go swimming at the hotel and spend the night. Cool, right? So, I'm sitting here, wondering what my plans should be. Then it hit me, I should go home to visit my dad, since he's practically home alone. It was already 430, and it's a 4 and a half hr drive, but I still decided to go. I had to ask my sister R if it was alright that I leave her with the 2 kids she had and asked my twin brother to come house sit. Then, it was set. I didn't end up leaving until 6 ish. Anyways, point being, my sister S was going to stay here with our brother, but decided, last minute, that she'd just go home for the weekend and come back with us on Sunday.

We drove, and she's talking, but I can barely hear her. But stuff about her accident. Blaming the ppl that were involved. I always wanted to tell her she shouldn't carry that shit in her heart. It was nobody's fault that she drank that day, nobody's fault they got kicked out of that party at the cabins, nobody's fault they rolled that day, and nobody's fault that she took Tylenol since to help with the pain she had afterwards. (Well, I can see how she could blame some things on some ppl, but realistically, she drank to be in that accident and she took those pills to accelerate her inevitable liver problems). But I couldn't tell her these things to sound like I don't care, or to further make her feel worse than she already did. Idk. I stayed quiet. About an hour away from home, we stopped in a town to pick up drinks and whatever. She was texting her friend and decided to stay with her. I didn't question anything, cause the drive alone seemed unbearable to her. She was nauseous and in pain. So, I took her there and that would be the last I got to hug her and tell her I loved her. I left.

Fast forward to Sunday, I didn't think anything of her not coming, I figured if she wanted to come, she would have called to make sure I picked her up. Plus, she probably wasn't feeling her best. All I texted when I passed that town was, "I love you". She wrote back, a few hours later, "I love you too my bean". And that was it.

Monday morning I had a missed call and voicemail from the friend I left her with, and a few msges from our sister R telling me S was in the hospital again. I didn't check the voicemail. All I thought was, "good, she can try get better again." And went to work. Later on my break, I got updates from R saying it wasn't good. They were allowing her and our mum to visit, but nobody else because of covid. Understandable. I still didn't think anything of it. But, I kept getting updates from R, of how worse she was getting. She said the Dr's were consulting with the hospital in the bigger city to see if there was anything they could do for her, or if she should stay there to be closer to family... They kept her. Plus, Monday night would be the last time she had a conversation with our sister. She'd now be on morphine to make her comfortable, which didn't help her be aware of anything. Now, it's Wednesday morning. I'm at work, on my first break I get all these msges saying she got even more worse and they were going to start allowing family come see her 2 at a time. This is when I knew it was really bad. I cried a bit in my car, msging Alex about how my sister might be dying and I didn't know what to do. I actually thought I'd finish the rest of the day and call in for the last 2 days. But, when I went in class and tried telling my teacher what was up, and her hitting me with that sympathetic "omg, are you okayyyy?" look, with the rubbing my arm thing, I teared up and shook my head no. She told me it was okay with her if I left. But I also had to go talk to the principal about it too. I cried in his office as well. But they were very understanding and gracious. Blessed for that.

Alex decided to leave work. I had a sitter to stay with kids, since they still had school. But he said he'd come anyways. I told him not to worry, but how could he not, right? I was glad he did, in the end, cuz he was what I needed later. So, I left, without getting to see him, cuz I was going the 3 hrs to get to the hospital, and he was coming the 7 hours home.

Anyways, I get there. All our family were taking turns going in to her room to see her. She wasn't awake. It was weird cuz her eyes would open, and be looking, but it was like she wasn't seeing. If that makes sense. That night me and my sister R spent the night with her. When we walked in, she was very agitated and restless. She was crying, hurting, and obviously very uncomfortable. She wanted to sit up, lay down, and scratching everywhere. It was very hard to watch. It scared me. Once the morphine kicked in, I seen her body just relax. The, sitting there talking about her, and her life, what we thought, we both said it would be better if she just let go. She was suffering and we just wanted the suffering to end. But it sucked cuz that's our sister. We weren't ready to lose her. But what could you do? She noticed that her breathing was a little raspy and her feet were cold. She said those were tell-tale signs that the end was near. Sad. Next morning, we leave cuz our mum wanted to come in. We went. All the family was back to taking turns visiting. This time it took me longer to get my turn, cuz more people were showing up. We all just stayed in the parking lot all day. I went back in about 230 or 3. She was obviously worse. I was hoping her hand and tearing, saying, "I'm going to miss you. D's gonna miss you." As soon as I said his name, she squeezed my hand and her bottom lip quivered like she wanted to cry. Then I said, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you sad. Don't be sad. We'll be okay. Don't be scared. I love you so much." And kissed her. Now, I was in the room with one of her daughters, and I could tell her couldn't really say want she wanted cuz I was there. So, I gave her time alone. Mind you, I was still thinking ill be back later anyways to spend another night with her. That didn't happen tho.

She took her last breath at about 4. I was sitting in the back of my dad's truck. My dad, my twin brother, and my mum were in there. Nobody showed any kind of reaction. I was crying. Frantically typing to my bf. Then, my niece J, opened the door and asked if I was okay. I get out and immediately started hyperventilating. I was crying, ugly crying. In shock. Standing there not knowing what to do, I sat in my vehicle, that was next to my dad's. Still felt weirdly uncomfortable cuz my nany neph was in there not saying anything, too. My best friend, A, came out of nowhere and I broke down again in her arms. I calmed down, and laughed in that moment cuz I seen one of my nieces bf wipe out lol. Good timing. Anyways, my friend said she was going to take her husband home and be right back. I ended up sitting in her truck for the next cpl hrs. I realized way later that I didn't even go hug any of my siblings lol.

We got to see her body one last time before they took her to the funeral home. I was one of the last people to get a turn, and I went in with one of her sons. I thought it was gonna be horrible, and I'd break down over her body. Instead, my dumb ass started laughing. Lol. Her one eye was open and looking right at me, and she looked like she was smiling. I apologized to her son about laughing. And him and I just talked about before, about him as a baby. My sister didn't raise him since, and I was always with her before, so we knew that about each other. Guess that was all we had in common with his mom; my sister.

So, when all was said and done that night, everybody went to the hotel. I just dropped off everyone who was in my suv and said I was going to go home to my dad's. He was the only one who went home that evening, so I knew he was home alone. So, I left. I wanted to be alone, and I wanted to just sleep in his house, where I felt safe. Before getting there tho, I tried so hard to cry. I felt like I wasn't experiencing her death like how I thought I would. Like, yes, I cried, but not like how I thought I would. That bothered me. Still kinda does. I listened to sad music. Got some tears, then thought, I probably looked stupid and just laughed again. Idk what's wrong with me hahaha.

Before getting home, tho, I msged my son and said I was going to stop at his house and hug him. I had to make sure he was okay. My sister was his Godmother, and although they barely had a relationship, I still had to make sure. Plus, it felt nice to just go be with him for a few minutes.

Next day was funeral home. The last drive home, with her down the highway. The wake. I made her a wreath. That was fun. Got crafty at the wake super late that night lol. But the flower shop in that town couldn't make enough, because there's a lot of families within our family and everybody wanted one done. So, I made my own. That was special.

Alex and kids came Saturday morning to be with me at the funeral. (I forgot to mention that this was the sister he was with first before me). Plus, this was also his first funeral experience with how we do funerals. They don't do wakes, or last goodbyes, or church.... The last goodbye I broke. I cried ugly and loud. He cried too. It was a sad day.

I didn't really feel anything afterwards. It still bothered me that it didn't affect t me like how I thought it would. Not until last night. I always loom at my fb memories, and she was all over my old posts, liking them, hearing pictures, commenting. Then it hit me, that she'll never do that again. I cried. Then, I went on her timeline to see what would be the last posts she wrote, or shared. They were from last summer. Mostly, obvious drunk posts, where she would be misspelling and not making much sense. I go to comments and there's me giving her shit. Wow, I thought. But then I remembered always being disappointed and let down. Those times I'd get upset was because she'd promise me to be sober, to visit, but turn around and drink anyways. That would offend me. Cuz I missed the sober her. I missed just hanging out with her. I hardly got that in our last few years, especially since I had quit drinking. I was sad. The thing that really hit home was seeing a post she shared, "All I need is for one person to not give up on me." Like hf. That hit hard, cuz I immediately felt guilty. Why couldn't I be her person? Why would I just easily give up on her when I knew she'd always choose to drink over me? I resented her. I was mad at her for it. So, I wouldn't try. That sucks.

But that is my next thing. I know I can't hold onto negative feelings like that. I can't regret anything. Anything and everything that happened, happened already, and for whatever reasons. She's gone. But most importantly, she's not suffering. Maybe witnessing her being in that much pain helped me be more okay with her dying? Cuz I wouldn't want her, or anybody, to go through something like that. It was horrible. I need to work on letting her go, in a way that I'm happy with the memories, and all that crap people say you should be doing lol. Idk. I will. But for now, I'm sad. I will miss her. Especially for the big things in my life. I'm still going to think of her, for the big events I'd know she would have been there for me. Sad. ~Rip S. I love you.❤

Anyways, another big thing happened for me right after the funeral. A happy thing. That is why that day was bitter sweet for me. But I won't get into that rn. I'm tired and it's late. I will be back soon. Plus, court happened today. That's another thing to get into. 😒 Nothing really happened there. But, as always, I will be back.

Until then. ✌

P.s sry if there's any mistakes in any of my posts. Not going to go over and read everything. This was a long one too haha.

[spearcast]

1-5 for the Noble sisters!

!!!!! thank you friend!! under a read more bc hoooooo boi it’s long

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Renee’s full name is actually Sarah Renee Noble- named Sarah after her grandmother- but she preferred to go by Renee (Sarah means princess/noblewoman, Renee means reborn/born again). 

Rosalie’s full name is Rosalie Acidalia Noble (Rosalie means rose, Acidalia is a surname of the goddess Venus and is associated with cares or troubles). Her parents went on a brief vacation in Greece and Italy (specifically Rome) before her dad got into the SEP with Overwatch.

Mallory’s full name is Mallory Candace Noble (Mallory means unfortunate, Candace means pure/sincere). Which, of course, got her the nickname “Candy” and other sweet ones like “sugarcube”. 

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

They all have their “alias” names which came from various things. When Renee started working with Talon, they gave her the codename “Hekate” bc of her seemingly magical abilities. Rosalie and Mallory sort of chose theirs- coming from nicknames they were given as kids (Mama Noble often called Rosalie “little Aphrodite” or “my little Venus fly trap” and Mal was/is often called “sugarcube” and “candy” by Rosalie and Mama Garza) getting them their titles of “Venus” and “Confection”.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

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Admittedly, Renee had a good childhood. Her parents loved her, gave her a lot of attention, wanted the best for her. Even after her father joined Overwatch/the Soldier Enhancement Program, everything was pretty peachy. She helped her mom with community stuff in center city Philly and was actually gunning to become a recruit in Overwatch’s peace-keeping organization- 

Until Rosalie was born. Because a little after that, Overwatch’s Swiss HQ blew up. It killed their father. 16 year old Renee became a lot quieter and to herself after that. However, Mama Noble (and after a couple of years, her new beau Lucas Carter) still raised Rosalie very happily, often taking the sisters out to the suburbs in the Noble family homestead (since Dad!Noble came from closer to Reading, PA than Philly) and such. AND OF COURSE, this all changes when Mallory is born. Rosalie is 8 and Mallory is 24. One is still a kid, the other getting out of college. There’s the minor omnic uprising in Philadelphia, where Margie Noble and fiance Lucas Carter are killed protecting 6-month-old Mallory and 8-year-old Rosalie.

Both had to go to the hospital, and when child services called Renee, she answered once, with a short (and very cold) “I don’t want them”. She never picked up that line again after that, discarding the phone and essentially leaving her sisters for whatever came their way. (This effectively ended Rosalie’s “childhood”, because an eight year old as smart as her grew up fast when she learned that she and Mal were going into an orphanage.) 

Mallory had a relatively okay childhood, for what it’s worth. The orphanage treated she and Rosalie well, though Rosie was always a little overprotective. They didn’t get adopted until Mal was 5 and Rosalie was 13. That story is continued here, for trying to make a long post a little shorter.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

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Renee has the best memories of both of the parents, was really close with her dad; she always low-key had a grudge against him for being away from home so often and not with she and her mom more but she understood. Worst memory had to be getting into a fight with them when both Margie and Stephen told her she was going to have a little sister- which, I headcanon Rosalie to have been a “miracle child”, since the SEP was supposed to make their volunteers sterile after the process was complete. She was pissed because they were acting like this baby was going to be a godsend and she was feeling very... dramatically Over It. She was 15-16, we all know how those years can be.

Rosalie has the best memories of her mom. Her favorite was when they went to Lake Erie for the summer before Mallory was born- her mom was pregnant and happily engaged to Lucas, Renee was even a bit happier that summer (mostly because she was graduating college within the year and could live her life freely after that). Her worst had to be- UH, I MEAN, probably her mom and step-dad-to-be dying right in front of her????? Admittedly, I can’t think of a worse one. (She does have a singular, perfect memory of her father. When she was a baby, maybe 9 months, she can vividly hear him saying “Rosalie” and looking down at her smiling. That’s it. The only thing she has of him, mentally at least.)

Mallory never knew her parents and doesn’t remember them. She only has pictures and holovids Rosalie still has. Sometimes she watches them, but as Mallory is, she doesn’t dwell on it. Sure she would’ve liked to know them, to have had a relationship with them, but she knows it’s not worth it to grieve over people she never knew.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

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If you ask Renee- unless the information is needed for a mission- she’ll say she has no siblings. (She generally hates Rosalie, though she also genuinely doesn’t consider Mal to be her sister. It’s partially her way of dealing with the grief of losing both parents. She blames Rosalie for their father’s death and Mallory for their mother’s, even if it’s irrational.)(Fun fact: she also does in fact fear Rosalie. Because after their first reuniting moment, she realizes Rosalie has grown up to be One Angry Motherfucker who has a super soldier’s abilities.)

Rosalie used to see Renee as the coolest older sister. She liked how nonchalant and distant and “chill” Renee seemed. OF COURSE, this all changes after she, at 8 years old, realized Renee didn’t give a fuck about her OR Mallory. This is when that deep-seeded anger in her gut was planted. She’ll admit to having a younger sibling but sometimes outright refuses to call Renee her sister. (She still cares about Renee, especially as she’s gotten older. She knows Renee needs help in some way, shape, or form, because of how horribly the eldest Noble is handling grief and going about her life.)(LMAO HOWEVER, upon their first reuniting, she literally sees Renee and starts seeing red, essentially trying to beat the fuck outta ‘ne. She angery.) Rosalie and Mallory however? My god you’ll never find a better duo. They’re very... Nani-and-Lilo in their sibling relationship, and often have pretty good banter. She can be a bit over protective, but it’s something Mallory genuinely appreciates.

Mallory doesn’t give a fuck about this “Renee” person. (Unless Renee were to say, hurt Rosalie. Then This Renee chick is getting choked out with her slingshot.)(Fun fact: Renee kidnaps Mal at one point and Renee is like “lmao isn’t it fucked up I’m your sister? join Talon w/ me I can teach you shit” and Mal is just like.... “*squints* who the fuck are you again” I love Mal so much.) Rosalie, on the other hand, is pretty much the Best Sister-Mom Ever in Mallory’s eyes. Mal isn’t super great with emotions, but she knows for sure that Rosalie has gone through hell and back to keep her safe and that her older sister would do it time and time again if she had to. 

While Rosalie is definitely the sister you don’t want to piss off, Mallory is one to watch out for also. Hurt Rosalie? You’re getting clocked with a shield and sometimes even a small person (aka Mallory). Mal also will not hesitate to verbally destroy and pick apart anyone who has a problem with Rosalie. Their arguments are really something though, because both are very intellectual (even if Rosalie doesn’t give herself credit for it) and it usually actually winds down into a debate. “Winds down” after the near-screaming match they had moments before ofc.