#but most people over like 40 don't really know celsius

[yesokayiknow]

it's so funny how the uk pretends to be fully metric and then whenever america's not looking we're like oh it's only a couple of miles away. can you pick me up a pint of milk and half a pound of bacon. i think he's six foot two? ugh i was so sick i'm pretty sure i lost like a whole stone. can't believe you need to drink like a whole gallon of water every day. how hot is it gonna be tomorrow? oh sorry can you tell me that in fahrenheit i don't know celsius

[viscerasmoothie]

The Shitty Laptop: How Has It not Fucking Died Yet

Aka the story of this piece of shit, how it's doing, and why I want to mail it's life support to the sun. Also, warning for massive walls of text ahead.

The Specs

So, in case you haven't decided to stalk as much of my Tumblr account as you physically can, The Shitty Laptop is a 2016 HP ENVY x360 with an Intel i5 6200U CPU, an Intel HD 520 GPU (that I'm pretty sure is an integrated GPU which is kinda shit but eh), 12 GB of RAM, a 918 GB HDD, and a touchscreen with 10 touch points and some lighter spots around the edges and one that only appears on white for some reason. So in other words, it's actual garbage even disregarding some of the other weird issues I have with it!

Let me break that down: Some Intel i5's are decent, mine absolutely isn't. Integrated graphics are bad because corners have to be cut to keep the CPU small (which is kinda fine for modern shit but this is FAR from modern in terms of gaming). The RAM is fine, it'll run most things but 16 is probably better (Yes yes, bigger number better but I don't need 64 GB of RAM for anything other than opening Steam /s). An 8 year old HDD is REALLY bad though, it's not like, say, your Xbox where you need to replace that things hard drive like a decade ago, but it's an active bottle neck as far as I can tell. I LOVE the fact that this has a touchscreen but the screen issues (Okay, light spots aren't that big of a deal imo but this thing is NOT real color at all bc I opened TF2 and thought that they put a sepia filter over the bw images until the menu screen popped up lmfao) and the fact that this thing is GIANT (picture below) make this thing SUPER awkward to draw with (Not even mentioning the fact that I have no stylus sadly). Also this thing has a couple of dents (pictured below as well) and the left Ctrl key if fucked because I've tried cleaning this things crusty ass keyboard and I broke both of the plastic things on the key so it stopped staying secured (but it WAS fine cus I didn't move this thing around much) but then after the battery swap the thingy above the contact left like how my mom left me and so now the key sits flush with the keyboard and pressing the contact works like 50% of the time :(.

Anyways breaking up the wall of text with a wall of photos

Not copy and pasting the image descriptions here so read those for context or die idk I can't make you do shit lol.

Anyways, if you know fuck all about computers and their components like a goodish chunk of people, then basically nothing above the photos makes any sense to you, so let's look at the practical side of things:

How Shit Runs

Firefox (and any browser as per usual) eats up my resources, mostly my RAM. Roblox depends on the game, but it has crashed about 3 times, twice in TPRR (Please play it if you're into FNaF I beg you) and once in Royale High Campus 3, specifically the entrance, although both games are a bit demanding. Also note that I almost always keep my graphics settings on either the lowest they'll go manually or auto. Here's some 2 games you wouldn't expect an almost 14 year old to play or even know of; Koikatsu Party runs fine, it eats up my GPU and a good chunk of my CPU when in Chara editor,but according to the FPS plugin it runs at around 40-30fps. Koikatsu Sunshine on the other hand runs around 15-20fps in the Chara editor and also eats up my resources. I don't know why there's such a performance discrepancy when they're almost the same exact game, but since I've had Rivatunner running on Sunshine, my CPU hovers around the 170's to low 180's (Fahrenheit) or the mid 70's to low 80's (Celsius), with CPU usage being around 1/3 I think, and GPU probably hanging around over 50% but not over 75% (Source for these numbers: my shitty memory and estimates made from said shitty memory). I'll probably reblog this at some point with better specifics, but while my CPU isn't actually melting, I still like to say it is because I could probably cook something on it. Also, forgot to mention this earlier and feel like mentioning it now: PCGame Benchmark ranked my laptop at 8% which is very terrible.

Why I Want to Kill It With Hammers

Disclaimer: I don't actually want to kill it, but I definitely need a replacement.

I'm gonna be honest, I've been bitching and moaning about this hunk of junk for a while because it gets hot, it's too big, it runs terribly and even blue screened after trying to sign in once (It hung on this picture of seals for a couple of minutes before it decided to blue screen). It also used to be my Aunt's, where she got it for college, mostly used it for the Sims (Which CAS runs fine with higher settings and laptop mode but I currently need to fix my mods), then left it to rot in her closet for a couple of years until around June/July 2021 when she gave it to me as an early 11th birthday present. I, being an idiot 10 year old who didn't know that this was a TERRIBLE idea, decided to keep it plugged in ALL the time, which lead to it having an abysmal battery life which exacerbated the problem, which lead to it giving me the old blinking caps lock issue which rendered it literally useless for a little while until one Wednesday when my grandma brought the issue up to my uncle, a tech enthusiast, while babysitting his kid because he was sick, and he said that he had the right screw (A torx t5 if I remember correctly) so when she came over to see if I wanted food, I decided to go back with her to open this shithead up (Btw I did get sick bc of him, and considering the fact that I'm not hospitalized it wasn't COVID, probably just a head cold). I'll add the photos in a reblog because of the stupid 10 pic limit in the app, but this thing was FILTHY AS FUCK after it was opened. Of course the battery was a complete mess and a free fire hazard, but this thing was just dirty as shit. I forgot to bring my phone so I took photos with my grandma's phone and I learned that only 1/3 of the back vent thingy is functional, with the remaining 2/3 being blocked off for some reason. Also I got a free bootleg classic snes with stuck power buttons and the opening for the controller ports feels AWFUL to open, so that's fun I guess. So we went a week later on Friday to pick it up but when we got home it was still giving the same error. At least it served as a good power bank for my shitty tablet I got for my 8th birthday because my grandma takes away the electronics I usually use at night (Laptop, phone, chromebook) on school nights but the laptop wasn't actually booting and I don't usually use the tablet (It literally has 2gb of RAM, why the fuck would I lmao) so she didn't take away either of those. Anyways the next day we went over, he fixed it with a YouTube tutorial by force rebooting it with the power button (Yes I know that turning it off and on and holding the power button is basic IT knowledge but if my brain doesn't see a straightforward path to whatever I want to do then it gets really confused unless someone else helps) and then it pulled up the updating thing because it was doing that before the old battery decided to go fuck itself. The weirdest thing about the old battery though was that it was providing enough power to make the fan spin and for the caps lock light to blink but apparently not enough to properly boot I guess. Anyways uhh yeah the only thing I've really changed in relation to usage is to unplug it whenever I notice that the battery is full and plug it back in when the battery saver kicks on, it's still sitting on top of a plastic laptop cooler that's too small for it because my grandma forgot how to measure this shit (I love probably toxic fumes coming from the heated plastic/j) that needs cleaning again. Also, I usually keep the external cooler plugged in, but there's only 2 USB ports on this thing and I'd rather die than live the dongle life so it's either I sacrifice that or my wireless mouse and I would rather not navigate through Windows file explorer with ONLY a touch screen.

FAQ Except Nobody Asked These Questions and I Made Them the Fuck Up

Q: What laptop alternatives have you looked at?

A: Whatever is at display at the local Walmart and Best Buy (Though the former has had issues with there not being ANY display laptops), though it's not a "serious" browsing as anything decent (and some things that are absolutely garbage) are almost certainly out of me and my grandma's price range (Thank Charlotte for getting her own fur stick in her intestines twice).

Q: What about used laptops?

A: My first Chromebook used for online learning was a used Chromebook from Best Buy, but the E key force turned it off, a couple of the other keys were also fucked (One of the Ctrl keys also turned it off), And eventually the hinge died and fucked the screen, and I'd likely have to order a used laptop online which means that sellers could lie about it's condition and I don't wanna go through some shitty websites support because I got scammed, also used usually means that it's old, somethings (somewhat commonly) very wrong with it, or both so I think I'll pass. /nm

Q: Why not get a PC

A: Idk, I just prefer the keyboard being attached to the screen.

Q: Why not make The Shitty Laptop not shitty?

A: Because the CPU is soldered to the motherboard which either means get a new motherboard or let my uncle desolder it, and if I do get a new motherboard I'd have to make sure that it fits in the case. And again, this thing has other issues (Fucked screen, fucked left Ctrl key) and I'd just rather get a new one.

Q: Where can I give you money for a new laptop?

A: I do technically have a Patreon account but I haven't set up payment on it so you can't shove your money in my face sadly.

Q: Can I mail you a new laptop?

A: Fuck no, that would require either getting a PO box or giving you my address and if you're not in the immediate area one of us is gonna have to pay for shipping and/or gas.

I ran out of question ideas anyways uhh i took way too long to write this shit out lmao (I think it was around 3 hours as the first photos timestamp is 7:43)

[apotatomashedbybts]

noel here!

hey nesh I'm so sorry to hear about your experience 🥺 i was only sharing some of my preferences. i hope i didn't offend you in anyway, though i am comfortable with most tropes, just like many other people, there are some topics i steer away from myself.

omg what a great memory, i absolutely love it! 🥺❤ i find that some of my favorite memories from this time of year were from when i was in grades school. for example: building ice houses for my stuffed animals, blackouts during school, watching a hockey game instead of going to class, weather reaching almost -40 degrees celsius/fahrenheit and having school closed, and brain freezes just from being outside... yup those were the days 😂😅 so bby don't cry i wish i could visit a beach, i've never been before🥺

OH HOHO HO the way i squealed - your kink? let's just say, i was on the right track with your gift after all 🤭

personality wise i'm very quirky and talk a lot with those i'm really close with, but super duper shy and reserved with those i don't know quite as well. unfortunately, i have a resting 'b' face so i come off a bit cold when i meet people for the first time. in reality though, i'm a socially awkward and sensitive person who tries to makes friends...so um yay!

I hope you write that zombie au, omgggggg the banner and everything?! that sound so exciting 😆 show me once i reveal myself?

ever since alley cat!jimin appeared from bts' season greetings, i wanted to write a rich kid au, but just as a writer in general my knowledge is super limited, so i'd have to do some extensive research, which didn't have time for during school.

Ahhh! It's okkkiiieeee! You didn't offend me in any way! I was just stating that it happened and I find it stupid to go back to a person that's definitely not good for you! I am over the experiences actually. I get over things quickly.

Wow!!! Your memories are so funn!!! I wish I could experience some of those! One of my favourite memories from winter is my birthday! My birthday is in January and I used to spend it in hostel when I was younger. At night all my hostelmates would gather and some would decorate my room, some made me dress up in a different room. And though I knew I pretended to be surprised every time I entered my room! And everyone would dance and sing. We weren't allowed to keep any electrical devices so singing was our music, and torches were disco lights! We would arrange foods from everyone for the party and everyone would give me handmade greeting cards! It was so fun!

Ohh! I wish you could visit someday! I have visited two different beaches twice. It was fun ig, I don't really remember since I was really young!

If I ever meet you I'll hug you right away bcs I know you are the SWEETEST!!!!

I'll definitely show you!!! I have also been wanting to write this yoonjin ghost au (platonic) for as long as I remember! But I have been pushing it idk why!

I hope once you get free time you would DO THE RESEARCH AND WRITE THAT RICH KID AU!!! It'd be so interesting I can tell! I find rich people thing so drawing bcs I am broke lol. Have you watched Fugou Keiji? The Millionaire Detective Balance: Unlimited?

Also with writing more and more your knowledge will increase! Everyone starts at some point! 💜🌼

[det-vackraste]

Okey, so you're really supposed to be tagged by someone to do this, but since I don't have time to wait for that, imma go ahead and tag myself

1. selfie I’m on mobile, so… sorry, but check my “me” tag 2. what would you name your future kids? jeez, I don’t know.. If I have a boy I think I want one of his names to be Finn, cause that was my grandpa’s name plus it’s a cute name. If a girl, maybe give her my middle name Märta, just to pass that on down, but other than that I don’t know.. 3. do you miss anyone? Hmm.. maybe one of my friends who’s been away backpacking since January, and isn’t getting back home until June 4. what are you looking forward to? My mum, sister and I are planning a spa trip, so I’m looking forward to that 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? My boyfriend, my dog or my best friend since 11 years 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? I haven’t really had to get over someone before, so I don’t know, but I can imagine I either don’t give a fuck or have a really hard time, no in between. 7. what was your life like last year? Real good. Last semester of school, so everything was chill, fun and exciting 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Well, I’m a crier when I’m angry or frustrated enough, so yeah probably 9. who did you last see in person? My boyfriend, who’s sleeping next to me 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? I can be if I want to 11. are you listening to music right now? Nope 12. what is something you want right now? grapes and cash 13. how do you feel right now? Pretty good. Chilling in bed, a little sleepy. A tad bit too warm, cause Sebastian is clinging to every inch of me in his sleep, but I really don’t mind 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? If his current clinging counts as a hug; my boyfriend 15. personality description I can come off as a bit bitchy/boring/shy, but if I find you funny I’ll open up and be more fun and crazy. If I like you enough I’m also probably the most loyal bitch on this planet. 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yeah I have. Two of my friends who dated for a year had a nasty breakup, and quite soon after that the guy had sex with someone else. I promised him that I wouldn’t tell his ex. That was hard. But I didn’t… 17. opinion on insecurities. Not sure what this question wants, but… Insecurities are shit, and I’m doing pretty good with ignoring mine 18. do you miss how things were a year ago? On one hand yes, cause I had a clear routine and somewhere to be everyday, and everything was so chill and exciting since it was a few months before graduation. But on the other hand I’m okey with moving on with my life. I still have the people from a year ago that I care about, and I’m starting to get a clearer view of my future life choices so it almost excites me 19. have you ever been to New York? No I haven’t, would like to go though 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Man, I don’t know… I’m a junkie for “Balladen om herr Fredrik Åkare och den söta fröken Cecilia Lind” by Cornelis Vreeswijk 21. age and birthday? 20 years old, January 7th 22. description of crush. Except for my boyfriend I don’t have a crush atm. But when I do, they’re pretty much always the same type of guy(my boyfriend included.. I have a very specific type, okey?); * Dark, a lil longer, curly-curlyish hair * Tall, lanky * (Harry Styles, Kit Harington, Robert Sheehan, Sirius Black) *Skinny jeans in legs for days *Big hands *Tall 23. fear(s) 
I’m scared to death of spiders, no joke. Also scared of darker things, like the future, being lonely and such 24. height 167cm, whatever that is in feet 25. role model Uhh… don’t know really..? 26. idol(s) Harry Styles is a really good human being tbh 27. things i hate Cold places, brushing my teeth (it’s the most boring fucking thing I know) 28. i’ll love you if… You love me, probably. I’m trash for affection 29. favourite film(s) Man I don’t know… I’m not at all picky with movies, and usually like every movie I see, so….? 30. favourite tv show(s) Game of thrones & friends 31. 3 random facts * I’ve seen every season of “RuPaul’s drag race”. Pearl is my babe. * I’m basically CONSTANTLY moving/jerking/twitching at least one of my feet or toes in some kind of way. Don’t know why, but I’ve done it for like 8 years now, feels weird when I don’t * I don’t eat sauce. Not on burgers, or pizza, or Kebab or anything. Basically only eat ketchup. 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? My closest, closest friends are mainly girls, but among all (lol, makes it sound like a lot) of my friends, it’s quite evenly divided 33. something you want to learn More languages, although I hate actually learning it, so I doubt it’s gonna happen.. I would also like to be better than I am at piano 34. most embarrassing moment ?? I’m an embarrassing person so… don’t know 35. favourite subject I like English and Swedish (my 1st language) cause I enjoy writing. Other than that, biology 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? * Want to find my dream occupation * Want to go to Australia * Want to share an apartment with either bestie or boyfriend 37. favourite actor/actress Leonardo DiCaprio is nice, I don’t know 38. favourite comedian(s) Asså mannen, Johan Glans 39. favourite sport(s) I don’t really do sports… but like… figure skating? (Eller gång, det är nog min favvo) 40. favourite memory I have a few: * Front row on One Direction’s where we are tour concert at Wembley. The whole 24 hours prior to the concert itself was amazing, and then being in the front row was just unreal. And then Harry screaming “köttbullar” (=meatballs, cause we had a Swedish flag) at us. Best day. * Like the entire week before graduation was great. Prom, chilling in the sun, graduating. It was all really nice. We bought a big, inflatable pool, so when the rest of the students were still in school, all of the graduates had pool parties in the school yard * One time when my boyfriend was playing some game on his computer, to gain his attention, I climbed up into his lap and latched myself around him like a backwards backpack, and then I accidentally fell asleep there. Slept for about an hour. Best nap of my life. 41. relationship status In a relationship since three years 42. favourite book(s) I’m such an embarrassing sucker for the entire Harry Potter series and that entire universe. Other than that I loved “the Book thief” by Marcus Zusak 43. favourite song ever God…….. I don’t know 44. age you get mistaken for I don’t think I’ve been mistaken ever… But quite often my friends have to show ID at bars, but I don’t? 45. how you found out about your idol My best friend showed me this boy band she had discovered, and well there he was 46. what my last text message says “Where’s the lie tho” in response to a screenshot of a funny text post I was sent 47. turn ons Oh god, where do i start.. * cockiness, but not in a gross way, but just a smug, confident way..? Making sense? * Hands. Long, slim fingers; hands of a pianist * Long, slim legs in skinny jeans * Jaw lines * Tiny man butts * Veiny forearms * Tall people * Smoking..? I don’t know why? I don’t even like smoking? It’s just something aesthetically pleasing with long, slender fingers holding a cigarette * HAIR, dark, long luscious locks * Kissing. Anywhere but the lips (lips too tho) * Biting * Teasing * Hands, grabbing, groping, gentle slapping. You name it, it probably turns me on 48. turn offs Like…. pissing? And snus (snuff). So fucking gross 49. where i want to be right now Somewhere with a lowest temperature of 25 degrees Celsius 50. favourite picture of your idol I’m on mobile, man, but probably like… messy bun, a flimsy shirt that’s really out there, and some sparkly boots 51. starsign I’m your typical Capricorn 52. something i’m talented at Like… music stuff.. I have a really good ear for keys and such in music..? 53. 5 things that make me happy * Sunshine * Dogs * Travelling * My boyfriend and best friend * Reading/drawing 54. Name something you’re currently worried about The future; what do I want to do for a living, and hence; what do I want to study at uni? 55. tumblr friends I’m not really tumblr active in that way.. I just reblog nice pictures of nice things and that’s that. One time TT answered one of my asks 56. favourite food(s) Tacos. 57. favourite animal(s) Dogs Foxes, because they’re extra pretty dogs 58. description of my best friend Real smol. 59. why i joined tumblr Facebook was so 2010