#but more and more as i mature i'm like. that's an impulse i gotta interrogate the shit out of and you should too

[aeide-thea]

something i think is pretty difficult, and also critically important, is to be able to look at things that make you feel bad and separate out what about them is

genuinely harmful in the abstract

harmful/upsetting to you personally because of your particular sensitivities—which is valid and something you should honor!—but in the abstract fine, and even, perhaps, actively helpful to other people

not actually harmful to you per se, just making you uncomfortable in a way it might be good for you to unpack

and then set boundaries around your own space/actions without feeling the need to frame other people's value-neutral needs/tastes as Intrinsically Bad. (this is complicated by the fact that a lot of people, including me, have a tendency to interpret a lack of active validation as a Negative Response, so that even actual neutral boundary-setting may feel to them like a passive-aggressive value judgment.)

people often fail at this when they're upset. this is understandable. it also often means they do harm in their turn by moving past non-judgmental, appropriately self-protective boundary-setting, on to making belligerently negative value judgments about other people's harmless preferences and/or competing needs.

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

When I first saw timeskip Shuji I was shook. Because he just seemed like such a wild and spontaneous person that I couldn't believe that he was in a suit and was "obedient" enough to still be in the same gang as a higher up. A lot of documents and overall work hours are put into it. Kinda like a CFO, organized crime has similar structure. I know he always stuck by Kisaki but the fact the he matured enough to have a stable job, even if it's criminal had me shocked. Lol

And I headcanon that Kisaki took him along when shopping for suits because Hanma would've still be walking around in sweats and sandals.

This this this! He seems so deeply apathetic everytime we see him after time skips. "Oh. Meh. Thought I'd get you both at the same time. Oh well." Whomp whomp. I mean it reminds me of his origin story when he was like just a giraffe in middle school with hand tats, bored that no one could really rival him. If I'm thinking in terms of cannon, the bulk of what we see for him is that sensation seeker side, right? And he gets jaded as fuck once the danger is gone bc he's the best at fighting. He was more oriented toward the risk than the power.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of smartass, power corrupted shuji who likes to flaunt his being above the law, but where's the adrenaline fix in being so thoroughly untouchable? Doesn't he seem the type to steal/cause problems just to get chased or caught/escape? Is there enough of a rush of you know you'll succeed after a while? (Okay sorry that's my guilty pleasure art thief shuji thoughts)

Anyway lmao I totally agree that I almost feel like the exec life is too stable for him. I assume his thrills gotta be chemically induced now. Fics do a him a service by giving him hands on shit to do. But I almost wonder if because he has to reign in his impulses (oh fun buzzword) so much in the timeskip, if he's more of a 6 shots deep ft. russian roulette guy in his free time. Maybe that's a sad hot take but adrenaline junkies share so many traits of addicts that homeboy has to still be getting the fix somehow, right? Kisaki is providing his good ol pal with SOMETHING that's keeping him there. Drugs, partners, idk ppl to interrogate?

Also yes kisaki had someone burn half of shujis closet (and house) and replace it with fuckin Armani suits or someth after hanma showed up to one too many exec meetings in sweats. Change my mind.

(thanks for prompting and coming to my ted talk ❤️🥺)