#but like? i think just bc it's been declining FORA WHILE NOW
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i’m heading to mobile and i want to do things tomorrow but i’m like...debating if i wanna dye my hair again. a part of me really wants to but also like my mentality lately?? not up to that kind of effort lol. especially with my hair getting longer. so like...idk if i’ll do things tomorrow or if i’ll spend most of my day just trying to dye my hair. either way i know i need/want a shower v badly bc i just need to perk up a lil more. and typically, showers do tend to help me get into the mood to write muses bc i just feel better after the process. we’ll see how it goes and how trash my mentality is tomorrow-
#i'm also talking v casually about my mentality bc it has literally just been#trash and trashier since october tbh#it's just getting into holiday season and i'm like#completely alone this year#and not like i don't have a s/o alone bc i've dealt with those#but like...really alone#and i haven't been completely alone during the holidays since i was probably 15/16#so i think it's just kinda hitting me a little hard having no friends around anymore#but like? i think just bc it's been declining FORA WHILE NOW#my entire reaction to it is just becoming v nonchalant/numb to it#it's just come to a point of whether i decide if i have the capacity to think about threads#or if i just want to lurk and most days it's just me lurking#so i'm sorry if i have things being delayed-#star child ( elie speaks. )
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