#but like would only recommend if you're into Weird Shit and also Body Horror

[benevolenterrancy]

@nekosammsi Plague Doctor and Mermaid [|87 from The Salt Grows Heavy which is a seriously cool novella, would recommend

[noildoof]

Hello Ive seen that ur into a lot of like "obscure" media and was wondering what anime, cartoons and comics u were into or what u'd recommend , Im very curious , love your art!!!!!

There's a lot, tbh I'm not even sure where to start, but let's see...

Angel's Egg isn't really that obscure anymore, but at the time I first watched it and got obsessed, it was. I still consider it to be a masterpiece and my favorite movie of all time, tied with Alien.

If you're over 18, I highly recommend Malice@Doll. It's a surreal, disturbing 3D anime that moves a lot like stop-motion. It has a lot of parallels to the Biblical story of the garden of Eden, with humans in the role of an absent God and machines doing the same things they've always done because... well, that's what they were made to do. They don't have free will. There's a lot of really interesting stuff to think about - the tradeoff of innocence for knowledge, trading an immortal mechanical body that can't feel for a flesh one that can feel pleasure but also pain. Again though, this anime gets pretty disturbing, and although it's not meant to be arousing it does have sexual content. It's not appropriate for minors.

My favorite bad anime is The Humanoid. It's very campy and one of the most 80's anime I've ever seen. The characters (mostly Alan) talk a lot about coffee, for some reason. Enough that you can make a drinking game out of it. The soundtrack is actually really good, I have it on vinyl.

Go watch Chargeman Ken right now. I mean it. Each episode is only 5 minutes long, so you have no excuse not to. You'll understand why I'm recommending this anime once you've watched it, it simply has to be seen to be believed. My favorite episodes are Dynamite in the Brain and When the Cuckoo Clock Strikes 3.

A lot of people seem to hate Bounty Dog, but I will unironically defend this anime to the death. I think it's good, or at least perfectly serviceable for a 90's direct-to-video anime. It has a weird piss-yellow color palette though, and it's not a filter - those are the actual colors used in the paint, I would know having cels from this.

This is very particular to my tastes (people who know me will understand why), but I binged Brigadoon not long ago and loved it. It's a very strange series in a way that's kind of hard to describe. Fundamentally, it's about a relationship between a girl and a mecha that develops into a romance, so I guess it's shoujo. But it's also an action series. And a comedy series. And a drama series. And a horror series at times. It defies genre categorization in a way I don't see very often. The closest thing I can compare it to is The Ancient Magus's Bride, as the relationship between Marin and Melan is pretty similar. With Dr. Seuss and Evangelion thrown into a blender.

Cool World is... not a good movie. At all. But damn, are those backgrounds nice. It has a particular "look" to it that is awesome as fuck, I just wish the actual story wasn't so stupid. I implore the people who say dumb shit like "Hazbin Hotel is just "SEX! LAUGH NOW!"" to watch Cool World, because that is literally what Cool World is. It's pretty to look at, but the entire plot and all the jokes are just "Don't have sex with cartoon characters---- OHHHH he just had sex with the cartoon character." But if you can get past the painfully unfunny "comedy" and stupid nonsensical plot, it's very nice to look at and has a great soundtrack.

... that got really long-winded, damn. Here's some other recommendations:

Anime:

Weathering Continent (also an untranslated light novel series) Laughing Target (also a manga) Mermaid Forest (also a manga) Mermaid's Scar (also a manga) Curse of Kazuo Umezu (also a manga, untranslated) California Crisis Twinkle Nora Rock Me (so bad it's amazing, also an untranslated manga) Nayuta (also a manga, untranslated) King of Thorn (also a manga) Umi no Yami, Tsuki no Kage (also a manga, but not fully translated) Dragon's Heaven (also a manga, untranslated) Lily-C.A.T. Magnetic Rose (not really that obscure but it's a masterpiece) They Were 11 (also a manga, dunno if it was translated) E.Y.E.S. of Mars Iblard Time Venus Wars (also a manga)

Manga:

Eko Eko Azarak (haven't seen much of it but I like what I've seen) Any of Rumiko Takahashi's short stories Black Jack (definitely not obscure if you're an oldtaku like me) Anything by Kazuo Umezu, especially Drifting Classroom

Movies:

The Banshee Chapter Space Mutiny (watch the Mystery Science Theater version) Yellow Brick Road

Misc:

Mary (Scissor Sisters music video) Daicon IV (anime Electric Light Orchestra music video) Apollo 20 hoax videos Cybersix (Argentine animated series) Skydoll (Italian comic, adult-only) Yoko Tsuno (Belgian comic)

[justletmereadmycomics]

CW for descriptive speaking about body horror, blood, and overall lack of grammar tl;dr the average painful-turning-into-a-monster-transformation-sequence media isn't whumpy enough and people need to dive more into shit like turning into merfolk and mutating into weird hybrids that are in the uncanny valley of "feels like my body but not" also please note that this is all just my opinion and experience in media consumption and you are free enjoy what you like; im just bored and felt like rambling with 0 grammar or punctuation today.

hey guys I like seeing people go through intense painful physical transformations with an affect on their mental state that either makes them scared of them selves or forces them to do horrible things that also scare them and can I just say that werewolves are so underwhelming like yeah sure you get taller and turn into a buff ass furry boo hoo go cry about it like most of the time you're not even aware and it only lasts for a fucking night

give me shit like turning into a siren/merperson where they have to feel themself molting and their skin squeezing on their body as scales start to grow and they start mindlessly scratching every where from the pain when uh oh your legs are failing but you can't think about that now until whoopsie daisy your lower limbs are melting together and your pants are magically whooshed away once you're past the nakey parts also did I mention the wonderful possibility of growing fins everywhere and experiencing those tear through your muscles and skin whilst they grow on your back and arms and already painful and foreign feeling tail and also your vocal cords changing to be able to produce siren song shit in a way that makes your throat feel like its being mauled from the inside out oh yeah and also having your eyes fall out and regrown wouldn't that be a fun idea anyways vampires are about the same except a little better than werewolves bc they at least have the possibility of dealing with "the hunger" tm and way more weaknesses that can make them miserable like not being able to be in the sun or eat food anymore bc your body can't handle it one of the better examples ive seen is the one in ROTTMNT: The Movie, where (be warned of spoilers) characters are "possessed", so to speak, and this shit goes on

its a very good movie, highly recommend it (the sereis has two seasons, and I haven't found the movie off of Netflix) also blood and struggling to adjust to a now permanent mental impairment/disadvantage/damage in a sense of "you're not human anymore and so you now have to deal with [blank] thought processes" (eg. someone gaining dragon shit would grow an affinity to hoarding things, not noticing such until their home is incredibly cluttered with piles of shiny items and hating themself for doing something so "inhuman")

things that ive seen that fall in the good transformation category are: demons* birds work most of the time, but you have to give them a beak and shit. also the wings can't just grow out of them painlessly.** most fantasy based anthros, really.*** most mutations seen in TMNT shows (that shits known to be painful bc it alters your DNA mostly through science rather than the normal mystics) bugs *only horns and a tail? weak. give 'em goofy legs and a snout or some shit, spin in a few animal traits just for fun. mental side effects that are nice for these guys tend to be a sudden lust for darkness (or just a sudden intense lust) **I recommend something like their arms falling off, OR something similar to the process in Haibane Renmei (tw for blood and minor body horror). An alternate option that I haven't seen would be to have the arms morph into wings themselves, but none of that grow feathers and get little longer bullshit. Character should feel their bones changing, the flesh forming to create a new limb and feathers piercing their skin like needles. Yes feathers are regularly soft, but imagine having a hundreds of tiny pinprick like things poking out of you and getting longer.

***this does not include fairies and unicorns. The only acceptation for these is character having weird magic fluxes and this becoming an effect of such. for example, if character is becoming a fairy, they will feel themself being compressed as wings either grow from their back or are summoned in a blast of magic that basically cuts them open where the wings "attach" so to speak.

[dimonds456]

I know you're into fnaf and bendy, but I was curious, do you have any other horror games you enjoy/would recommend? Also hope you have a good time of day <3

Thank you, anon! FNaF and Bendy are two of my special interests, and re-hyperfixating on them happens sometimes lol. I was into other horror games before, but I don't know them as well as those two. But, I can try to recommend some good ones from memory, just know it's been around ~6 years since I've played or watched a Lets Play of any of these.

(And I think it's worth mentioning that I don't play horror games blind, I usually watch a lets play first before I decide to get them. I like horror but I also cannot stand the anxiety it gives me.)

Dark Deception - Takes place in Hell. You're playing a guy who actually deserves to be there, but is given a second chance at redemption if he collects a bunch of crystals for this woman named Helen. Really good character design, good tension. Story is still on-going.

Little Nightmares - Takes place in a strange world where you play as a child named Six, who is absolutely tiny compared to the world around her. It's a side-scroller, which is a fun take on horror, and it utilizes it's far-away camera to its advantage to build tension, and almost feels like you're watching a movie sometimes. You're on a ship called the Maw, which is basically a pleasure cruise for people to eat their hearts out, people who don't look like, well, people. Their bodies have been exaggerated to weird proportions, and their faces are... eugh. Great character design, level design, sfx, music, and holy shit that ending.

Little Nightmares 2 - I believe the theory is that this is a prequel to the first game. I remember less about this game so bear with me here lol. You play as a little boy who finds Six and adventure with her through another dangerous area, this time, a city. He can use TV screens to get around. I think the character designs are better in the second one, but I can't remember enough of the game to say which one was better overall. And holy shit that ending.

Among the Sleep - Gotta be honest, I barely remember this one, but I remember it freaked me OUT back when I first watched a lets play of it. You play as a kid who has a teddy bear, and the bear gets stolen from you at night, so you hop into a nightmare realm to go get it, basically. A lot of it was a metaphor for family issues (and maybe abuse?) from the eyes of a very young child. His mother is clearly upset by something, and it's heavily implied to be an ex or something. But the majority of the game is spent in Wonderland but horror. I should really rewatch this one.

Tattletail - sorry it's more mascot horror, it's what I grew up on. This one takes place at Christmas, where you play as a kid and get a Furby- sorry, Tattletail- as a christmas gift. Then, another one named Mama tries to hunt you down throughout the night. The moral: don't open your Christmas presents early.

Superliminal - Confession: I have not seen this one all the way through. The game fucks with perspective- if you pick up a thumbtack sitting on a desk and then hold it up to the door before dropping it, it becomes as big as it looked while you were holding it. Extremely trippy. The more horror elements start to appear about halfway through.

Subnautica - c'mon you'd be lying if you don't think this is a horror game. it counts. Subnautica is another one of my special interests. Takes place far in the future, your spaceship crashes down on an alien water planet and you're one of only a handful of survivors. The character designs are EXCELLENT, the worldbuilding is captivating, the sound design? MMMM THE SOUND DESIGN. The music goes HARD. And when it gets dark? It gets dark. Trigger warning for big ocean, terrifying creatures, and dealing with a plague during the story.

Doki Doki Literature Club - omg i almost forgot ddlc. DDLC absolutely shaped part of my childhood growing up, as it deals with things like depression, suicide, domestic abuse, and self-harm. You play as an anime self-insert protagonist and start the game off like it's a dating sim- get to know the girls and figure out which ones you wanna get closer to, you know how dating sims work. But there's a moment that happens later in the game that completely rocks the boat, the game resets, and a character completely disappears from the game completely and is never mentioned again. I cannot spoil this one, it's see-to-believe, but also BE CAREFUL with this one. The subject matter it tackles is not for the faint of heart.

Phasmaphobia - Multiplayer ghost hunting game where you can hear your friends getting killed in the distance and there is nothing you can do to save them. Terrifying, but can also be funny under the right circumstances. Specifically Jacksepticeye's first Phasmaphobia video, there's a moment right at the end that makes me burst out laughing every time.

I know there's more but I can't think of any of them so I guess we'll end the list here.

I love horror for weird reasons. I love worldbuilding and fun characters, so if the concept is wild enough, then I might look into it. FNaF was the first horror game I ever watched someone play (unless you count those surprisingly effective Minecraft horror maps from back in the day). I only grew attached to a couple titles, and the rest I'll enjoy casually as a thrill ride if I want one. But as a lets play, because even that is sometimes too much for me.

Uh, I hope this list was a good one! I should really revisit some of these, lol. Among the Sleep specifically, I wanna rewatch that one now as an adult.

[cherrys-side-bitch]

Weird request but can I rq joseph, jotaro, josuke and giorno with a very.... unsettling gn s/o, if your familiar with sadako from the ring and/or kayako from ju-on(the grudge) that's the vibes that they give off. It also doesn't help that they do stuff that can be considered "odd" like crawling in vents, casually chilling under tables and beds, popping up out of nowhere when you're not paying attention for 2 seconds, twisting and bending their body into ways "no human being can", casually dropping information on stuff "no normal human being would know"(take that as you will), being "weirdly" into the paranormal and occult world of things, or even just standing cause they have vibes that natrually set off a fear response The kicker is that they are extremely oblivious to how scary they are so they could be coming down from a vent, the person they appeared infront of is screaming their head of and s/o is just like "???". Yeah they might make you feel like your in a horror movie but it's fine 😄

𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒𝕟 ����𝕟𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊/𝕆

gn! s/o, they/them pronouns, fluff-ish ig

Note: I had fun writing this! Also, I suck at writing for Jotaro. Sorry about that. I hope this was to your liking anon!

They lowkey reminded him of Santana when they come crawling out of the vents. Just not nearly as terrifying.

Finds their oddness a part of their charm and is saddened that they don't realize it.

He's quite concerned about what might happen if others find out about your hobbies because of the time period.

When he was worried about Speedwagon’s disappearance they told him that he was “relatively safe.” He was confused because unlike the usual comforting he'd expect to get he only got that.

It always seemed as if they knew things before they happened and he always joked about them being some sort of psychic.

He'll admit that he has been scared by your little appearing trick more than once although begins to get used to it after a while.

If he sees them sitting under a table he’ll just squat down and ask them if something is up. If not he’ll leave them be.

Although when they twist their body in nearly impossible ways he starts to get concerned that they'll hurt themselves or that may have been turned into a vampire. It's unlikely but a genuine concern.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

Probably thought that they were an enemy at first-

Once he gets to know them better he sort of just accepts that they are like that.

Is worried they will hurt themselves when they are bending their body a lot.

Is a bit weirded out by their fascination with the occult but as long as they don't drag him into it too much or end up getting hurt he's fine with it.

When they say that something unexpected is going to happen and it actually does is when he starts to really get concerned.

Thinks they're weird for finding comfort in sitting under tables or laying under beds.

Won't admit it but they scare him sometimes with the shit they.

“If you hear an old man grumbling I'd recommend not going out. The man down the hall just wants to find what it lost but he might mistake your eyes for his so it’s better to be safe than sorry”

Honestly thinks they are talking about stand users or are going insane. There is no in-between.

In quiet rooms with him, he can swear that he hears whispers around them but they aren't moving their mouth in the slightest.

He figures he's just hearing things, his brain making sounds where the sounds aren't, just to fill in the silence. Although after a while he is beginning to think it's not just a coincidence.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

They have scared him too many times.

One example was when he was waiting on them to show up for their date, so he looked at his phone to see if you texted him. He swore they were nowhere near him like 10 seconds ago but there they are, standing right next to him, apologizing for being late.

When he flinches, almost falling over in the process, they look at him confused asking him wrong as if they didn't just appear out of thin air.

To say you spooked him was an understatement.

He loves them with his whole being they need to stop appearing out of nowhere.

Tries to tell himself that they just have a teleportation stand or something like that, it eases his mind a bit.

If he ever finds out they don't actually have stand he's losing his mind.

When they start talking about the occult he tries to pay attention but it's hard sometimes since there's so much and he doesn't understand half of the words they are saying.

He’s a supportive boyfriend though!

Sometimes thinks they are purposely trying to scare him but that theory gets debunked quickly since they are often confused when he's scared.

One day while they were over at his house they spoke of an old man in a suit wanting to say hello to him. At first, he was confused and thought he was in trouble when he thought of his grandfather. He tells himself that it was probably just a coincidence but couldn't help but wonder.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

Unlike the others, he never actually grew up in a healthy environment as a child so doesn't exactly see certain things they do as all that weird. Just sort of happy to have someone, even if they have their weird little quirks.

Even with that, he is a bit unsettled by them at times.

Occasionally, when he would just see them standing around, he would have a wave of fear wash over him for a minute. He doesn't know why, but he felt as though he had seen something he shouldn't have, but he doesn't know what it was.

Sometimes he swears he can see shadows twisting around them at times. The overwhelming feeling that something is wrong without knowing what it is.

He loves them, he does, but everything that's happened so far has started to get concerning.

He wonders if they are even human at times.

They're lucky that Giorno is a part of the mob or else he probably would have accidentally punched the shit out of them with Golden Experience.

Starts to get worried with the amount of time they have crawled out of vents in his presence.

At least if he even has a mission where he has to interrogate someone he knows who to ask-

He just pretty much tells them to be themselves in the interrogation and, to no one's surprise, it works like a charm.

Although they are very confused about why the man is screaming for help. They only asked him a few questions.

┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚　　 ҉　　⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉

[bodyswapmischief]

Andrew sat on the couch looking at his phone. He browsed through his feed, when suddenly he felt his dick become erect. Which wasn't strange for your average 23 year old man.

Andrew looked up and saw his friend Andy on the otherside of the room. So, he just ignored his boner. He couldn't just whip out and jack off infront of his friend. Besides, ignoring his hard 2 inch boner wasn't a hard thing to do.

Moments passed and the pain began to get harder to ignore. Without looking, he tried to get into a comfortable position. That's when he felt something warm and long press against his leg.

It caught him off guard and he jump a bit. The swift movement caused his pants to tightly squeeze his dick and he moaned in pain.

Finally, Andrew looked down and saw what was going on. His heart raced, as he pushed a snake like bulge in his pants going down his leg. With each poke, he moan out in pleasure. Finally, it was confirmed in his mind; his dick had become a thick 8 inch monster.

Instinctively, he placed a pillow over his new giant buldge. He looked over at his friend who seemed oblivious. Without making a scene, he tried ot get up. But, the pant fabric painfully squeezed his dick and balls. He yelp in pain and, quickly, sat back down.

Andy started walking towards Andrew. A smile was on his face. "So, it's finally kicking in." Andy said as he looked at Andrew's crotch. Andy started unzipping his pants.

"What the fuck are you doing!?" Andrew shouted. But before he could look away, he saw a familiar sight hanging from his friends body. There was no mistake. Andrew's small dick was now attached to his friends body. "You might as well take off your pants. It not like I haven't seen my own dick before." Andy said.

Then it hit Andrew. The bulge in his pants was similar to the few times he caught Andy with a boner. He sighed to get over the awkwardness and whipped it out. Revealing a dick he only saw the outlines of, through shorts. As it stood erect, he was happy to be free from the pain created from his tight pants.

"What the fuck is going on" Andrew said puzzled.

"I'm giving you my dick for the day. After you told me you haven't had sex because you're embarrassed of your dick size, I knew I had to help out my bro." Andy answered.

"What! This is fucking crazy. You probably should just undo whatever you did..." Andrew begin to worry.

"Dude, relax! Come on. I've been pretending to be you on multiple dating apps and I set up a day of sex for you. Who knows, if this goes well maybe I'll let you borrow my dick again.

"I don't know. This all seems to weird." Andrew said, still questioning everything.

"Stopping doing that! Stop and just enjoy it. Most guys would be thrilled to magically have an 8 in cock placed between their legs. Come on, this will give you the confidence boost I know you need."

"Yeah, I know your right. I'm actually kind of grateful and surprised you care this much... But, I haven't had sex. I don't know how to use this." Andrew said grabbing his new junk.

"Then fuck me bro. You know I've had a crush on you. Now, I can live my fantasy of you fucking me. Think of it as a payment for letting you borrow my dick," Andy saw the hesitation in Andrew's face. "Look, I know your straight. But don't think of it like that. Your using my own dick to fuck me. There's nothing gay about that right!? Besides it'll give you the practice you need for all the sex you'll have today."

Andy bent over to reveal his tight asshole. Andrew's new 8 inch dick got hard. Everything about this situation scream wrong. But, he knew he couldn't let an opportunity like this pass. He wanted to finally expirence sex. He'll just think of banging his buddy as a learning opportunity so, he be able to please all those ladies booked up.

Andrew drew in a deep breath and let his instincts take over. He walked over to Andy. "Can I put it in?" He asked.

"Dude look at me I'm ready to receive. You don't have to ask." Andy said annoyed .

Andrew slowly put his dick in his friends ass. They both gasp in pleasure. Finally all 8 inches squeeze into Andy's ass. "Okay, I'm in. Are you okay does it feel good." Andrew ask.

"Fuck yeah dude. Now pull it out a bit and stick it back in. And that's basically fucking." Andy responded. Slowly Andrew pulled out and and even slower he pushed it back in.

"Hold on dude." Andy sighs. "What! Is something wrong. Am I hurting you." Andrew ask. "No bro, your going so slowly. Pick up the speed."

Andrew start going a bit faster, in and out. Andy started moaning in pleasure. "There you go. Uh... uh... fuck ...yes keep going."

Andrew loved the feeling as his dick sled against the walls of his friends asshole. He started feeling this new power deep in his body grow. He felt more confident with each thrust. And; with that increase in confidence, he was becoming more aggressive. "Fuck yeah, take it bitch." He yelled out as he picked up speed, going faster and faster. He began letting out loud raoring moans.

"Ugh.. uh ...uh... uh slow ....uh down." Andy moaned out. "No bitch, you're fucking taking it." Andrew shouted back. They both scream out in an orgasmic climax as Andrew's dick released a full load of cum into Andy's ass.

Andrew quickly whipped out his dick from Andy's ass, causing Andy to yell out. As soon as all 8 inches were out, Andrew tossed Andy to the side like a used toy. Andrew began staring at himself in the mirror. Flexing and playing with the monster of a dick between his legs.

Andy was left on the bed catching his breath. He looked at Andrew, checking himself out. He was happy to see Andrew enjoying himself. But with each passing second, he felt more insecure of having his naked body exposed on the bed. He look at Andrew and was intimidated by there new cock size differences. He quickly began covering himself up.

At this point Andy knew something was wrong with the spell. He want to recommend swapping their cock sizes back to normal but he was worried how Andrew would respond. He didn't want to make his friend angry.

Before, Andy could stir up the last shreds of confidence left in his body. Andrew started getting dressed. "Thanks bro, I'm gonna fuck the shit out of these bitches. Oh and I don't know how you did this but yeah, I think we both agree that this should be permanent now, don't we."

Andy could clearly feel that both of their personalities were changing. He looked at the new strength Andrew's already strong body had seemed to gain. He seemed more manly and more attractive. Andy was beyond intimidated. In fact his small 2 iches was starting to get hard again.

Andrew stood aggressively staring at Andy, waiting for a response. His python hanging out in the open. Andy was starting to feel afraid of what Andrew would do if he said no. So, Andrew just nodded his head in agreement.

"Good, I liked that answer." Andrew responded. "I think you just earned a round two, after I come back from fucking all these sluts you lined up for me. It feel like this dick still wants to be a part of you . But, it doesn't seem to mind that the only way that going happen now is by being shoved in your ass."

As Andrew left, Andy tried to fight these new feelings that were flooding his mind. He ran to his room to see where the spell went wrong. And, his heart sank as he realized he failed to read the full spell.

Note: If the two affected by the spell commit intercourse their personalities will change depending on the roles they played in said intercorse. Also, as long as the spell last they will be bonded by sexual interest with each other.

Andy realized what he did. By helping Andrew and guiding him what to do. Andy turned Andrew into a dominant, aggressive, sexual beast. He on the other hand had become submissive and caring to Andrew's every need.

Even now with the spell infront of him, he couldn't get himself to recite the reversal spell. It would go against the helpful, submissive, caring attitude towards Andrew that he now felt and acted out during sex with him.

In fact having this spell around was just a threat to Andrew's new happiness. So, Andy tore it up and flushed it down the toilet. The last piece of who he used to be screamed out in horror.

He looked around the apartment. He knew it would be to messy for his Andrew. He need to make sure his Andrew was happy and pleased when he got back home. And, after all that sex he was gonna do, his Andrew was going need some nourishment when he got back home.

As Andy cooked and clean, he could only smile thinking about how happy he was going to make his Andrew. Being a cum dump for him wouldn't be so bad. Yeah, it sucked, that he had to share his Andrew with a constant parade of sluts. But, what would one expect being in a relationship with a man as attractive and manly as his Andrew. And, at the end of they day, Andy knew his man would always come home. After all, his Andrew couldn't resist his nice ass. It was a weird relationship but, it worked for them.

[weepinglevi]

he will be there tomorrow

summary: my thoughts on modern!eren comforting reader when she's having a rough time. warnings: themes of depression/mental health problems, not too much detail, but still. other than that, just fluff. word count: around 650 A/N: i've been feeling like shit today so this is very self-indulgent. if you want eren to take care of you, then this might be comforting to you, too. i hope you enjoy the read and take care. xx

he keeps on ringing your doorbell and nagging you through the closed door.

a muffled, "c'mon now, it can't be that bad!" finally compelling you to stand up from your bed with a groan – you don’t know for how long you’ve been buried underneath your blankets, but you’re beyond the point of caring about it.

his head peers through the small gap and for a moment you see some sort of worry in his eyes. you must look really shitty for eren to lose his composure like this, but he's back to normal in a matter of seconds, shrugging off any kind of emotion other than his weird grin.

pushing the door open, he proceeds to hand you some take-out, the scent of fried chicken immediately filling your nose. "i'll have them on a plate, please."

he makes a beeline for your sofa, zapping through your netflix recommendations, and complains about your shitty taste in movies. "the kissing booth? seriously?". all the while you're still standing in the hallway, white plastic bag heavy in your hands – he brought a lot of food.

when you go to get the plates and napkins, he'll turn on some shitty horror movie in hopes of making you laugh. something like 'the ultimate killing machine' – so bad it’ll leave you breathless with laughter on normal days. and when you sit down next to him, wordlessly placing the plate on his lap, there’s the look of worry again. usually, you would’ve knocked him over the head twice already but right now, all you want is to feel better.

“you wanna watch some sappy rom-com instead, or what?” he teases and nudges his index between your ribs.

you know he plans to get you so agitated with him that you'll forget whatever clouded your mind. it’s not as if there is something tangible for you to forget, it’s much rather a fog you can’t seem to find your way out of. if it hadn’t been eren knocking on your door, you would’ve kept it shut, too. but from previous experience you know he’s willing to set up camp in front of it. just like a determined dog, waiting for its owner to come back from the store. it’s easier having him inside with you.

you shake your head no. “’s good, i always wanted to see it.”

“well, that’s a fucking lie, but i’ll take it.”

it’s silent for a while, apart from eren commenting on how the movie really does deserve to be on the list of worst movies ever.

the moment you’re done eating, eren takes the plate from your lap and places it on the coffee table in front of you. “i know you don’t want to talk about it, and –” lifting his hand to stop you from interrupting him, he continues “and you don’t have to.”

you try to smile, but give up. “why are you here, then?”

“i knew you probably haven’t had good food in a while.” he shrugs his shoulders and smiles, “and the others worry about you. they were about to barge in here if it wasn’t for me putting my foot down.”

“how very brave of you.”

“i am your boyfriend, after all,” the smile turns smug as he pulls you onto his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist as you bury your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent – you know it like the back of your hand. feeling warm and protected, there’s a sudden rush through your body, the weight that has been resting somewhere on your chest feeling a bit lighter, leading you to breathe out shakily against his collarbone.

it’ll still be there tomorrow, you know that. but with eren running his hand through your hair, the other rubbing circles on your lower back – you also know that he will be there tomorrow, too.

taglist: @kojinnie @aotwrites @blondeboyfriend @jeageristbaby @peachysimp @odmlevis wanna be tagged in my next work? fill out this form. addendum: this has been heavily inspired by not only my depression, but also by @1252291's absolute lovely headcanons on how reiner and jean would react to reader having depression. you can find them here.

[jjk-anime-horray]

A Call in the Night

Dazai Osamu x reader x Oda Sakunosuke

Series Summary: While Dazai finally gets over the death of his friend and moves on with his life, he has to watch him unnaturally return into the world, and now he has to watch him turn twisted and into everything he hated in a way.

Chapter Summary: The Armed Detective Agency gets a call about an warehouse incident that happened in the middle of the night, and send two detectives to respond to it.

Notice: This fic series is going to have some dark themes in it so be warned, and in this AU Dazai and the reader are members of the armed detective agency, and this is a spiritual successor to “Late Night Tickets, and Meeting Him.” So I recommend reading that first even though you don’t need to. This is going to be a series!

Trigger Warnings: Blood, mentions of extreme violence, and description of illegal activities.

Getting a call about a mandatory and emergency investigation in the middle of the night, to be specific 2:32am, was something no one at the Armed Detective Agency wanted to do. So what's the most logical solution? Draw straws and the two people who draw the shortest are forced to go.

Unfortunately for you, you were one of the two unfortunate souls that drew a short straw. At least the other person who drew the short straw was Dazai Osamu, your coworker but most importantly the first friend you made in this city, so maybe you would be able to get a kick out of the bad situation at hand.

But when the two of you emerged from an alley to meet the crime scene at hand, that would by no means be the case because by the sight of the horror that layed out infront of you two it was enough for the both of you want to hurl.

Crime scene would describe the atrocity in front of as much as the phrases bloodbath and massacre would. No wonder this was an emergency for the ADA there were probably more than 30 people dead killed in various atypical ways.

First walking into the warehouse the most out of the ordinary sight would be a round wooden table with a duffle bag on it, but once someone took a closer look the rest of the ware house was completely empty other than the congealing crimson liquid that was pooling everywhere.

The five chairs around rickety table were matched with four bodies of executives of some sort laid face down on the table or dangling of the chairs.

But the most appalling sight was what was inside the duffle-bag, you were wishing it would be something tame like left behind money, however, much to your displeasure, they where severed off human heads. That by the looks of it were cut off with some sort of serrated knife my the edge markings.

"What are you thinking (Y/N)?" Were the words that Dazai spoke to snap you out of your spiraling train of thought. "I sure as hell am thinking this isn't the way I would have wanted to go."

"I'll have to agree with you on that one, this shit is something right out of a cheesy crime or horror movie.The only thing I can think of is the heads were a message of some kind to the people who were sitting at the table, and either the person at the empty seat with accomplices who killed everyone or are the only survivor, but it could be either. Were you able to identify anyone bodies or do you recognize anyone?"

"I don't recognize anyone, and most of the bodies are too mangled to be identified, but everyone at the table is wearing a customized Rolex, so I suspect that they were all executives of a organization of some kind, probably an illegal on based on all the gun men that were probably guarding the meeting before they got taken out."

"The only lead we have is the Rolex I guess, so Daz, will you take one for reference, we can visit all of the watch makers in the city to try to find out who was the person who commissioned these watches to be made, and then maybe through that we kind find out who the soul survivor was."

"Agreed."

Honestly the two of you would have been a little more playful and chatty if the events that took place tonight weren't so gruesome. The two of you were used to having to see and do brutal things, but Dazai had this gut feeling that this wasn't the typical violent act, and things weren't as the seemed.

The brown eyed detective just wanted to go take a nap after this, which was something you also wanted to do after see all the blood. Deciding to leave the true start to your investigation for a decent time the two of you swiftly communicated with the responders about the potential situation at hand. Then left to go deal with is mess the next day.

Timeskip........

After a horrible night's sleep and about three cups of coffee you were finally able to be semi-functional, so then you decided to grab your partner Dazai after dressing to impress and make for the horrible mood you currently were in from multiple factors. Dazai was even in a worse state than you where, you found him at the trying to convince Kunikida to go on the investigation for him, which was ultimately denied by the blonde haired man. Also leaving you to drag the genius yet idiotic maniac out of the office.

Walking down the streets in-between visiting different watchmakers and jewelers, you noticed some was off each time your boots hit the ridged pavement. In particular something about Dazai, his face was contorted into a being in deep thought, not to be disturbed for any reason. It was so out of character you were going to ask what he was thinking about, but then opted out.

"I know you were going to ask what I was thinking, I am a detective you know." He said his face morphing into one not of deep thought but of cockiness with a smirk. Damn, sometimes you really loved and hated that smirk, but right now you didn't know what to think of it. "I was just thinking of how now I know exactly who made the watches, and where is is for your information."

"Really who would that be? For my information."

"His name is Opāru Shokunin, he's done a lot of custom jewelry for Elise-chan and the port mafia in the past, but recently he's been doing a lot of foreign commissions for gangs and syndicates outside of Japan my word of mouth. When I first saw the watches I was initially reminded of how it looked like his handy work, but since the first three places we've visited were a bust, i'm confident it's him."

"Alright Mr. Mic-cocky, lead the way by all means." You scoughed lightly.

Unfortunately for the two of you, your desired destination was all the way across yokohama, so you had to hail a taxi which you knew you were going to be the one paying or it. The icing on the shitty cake was that you got stuck in rush hour traffic, so, the total time until arrival was three time longer than it should have been. At least you got dibs on the radio choice.

When the two of you arrived at your desired destination you now witnessed a normal looking office building, unfortunately, there was no elevator so the two of you had to work your legs up three flights of stairs to make it to Opāru's workshop.

Before you went in however you whispered to Dazai "how do we know he's even gonna be willing to talk to us?"

"He's going to be willing...."

"Why?"

"Simple you're gonna pay him."

"Um no you're going to pay him because I payed for the cab!"

"Um no."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"You realize I can hear you two bickering right?" was the raspy voice of the man you were looking for that ended your whisper argument. He was actually younger than you expected, about 38, but he looked older than his body by his eyes, the eyes of someone very worn out. Which would explain the smoking. "He's right i'll talk if you pay me, just come in before ya give everyone else a headache."

The two of you swiftly made your way into the working man's shop room. The room was a lot nicer than you thought it would be, and a lot lighter too. The man possessed a very nice view from his wall because his wall was almost completely filled with by windows. Dazai did mention something about the craftsmen liking natural light in the cab on the way here, so it wasn't too surprising and really lightened the room up.

You followed Dazai to the two chairs across from the white tufted sofa that Opāru was already occupying. Then Dazai placed the watch and a thick wad of cash on the coffee table separating the two parties of people.

"Oh, so you're here to ask who paid me to customize this for them? No surprise there they were particularly nasty."

"How where they particularly nasty?"

"I'm pretty sure that they were doing things even nastier than the port mafia, like taking kids of the streets and shipping them off."

"So, supposedly by word of mouth were human traffickers."

" Yeah, supposedly, but I didn't ask when the guy approached me."

"The guy?" You reconfirmed.

"Yeah, the guy, he had this weird tattoo on his wrist. The guy's name was Zinnnnnng, THUMP.

The two of you didn't even have time to blink or create when the bullet zipped through the head of the craftsman from. The crimson liquid from his head pooling on the couch were he was just alive a few seconds ago. The blood seeping into the fabric like the disparity of situation into Dazai and yourself.

Glimpsing out middle window now tainted with a hole you see the silhouette of the person responsible for this.

Dashing up without a second thought you sprint to pursue the culprit of the murder that just took place infront of you. Eyeing your target through the broken window.

Ahhhhhhh! Okay I’m literally really proud of how this came out! I’m really hope people like it. I’m really new to writing full fanics so if any experienced writer is reading this will you please give some pointers, that would be very helpful!

-Ellie

[retphienix]

I Have A Lot To Say So I'll Read More This.

The short of it?

I'm glad I played Joker- I played it because I wanted to know how DQM evolved when it reached the DS and I got my answer.

It's mediocre. Not bad exactly, I enjoyed playing it, it adds some REALLY appreciated features to the DQM series and if you were playing it at release it had online play which plays well with the post game content which I haven't touched by the time I wrote this:

-but there are some engine/console specific things that made it a drag and there are some parts of the game that are just weaker than the previous games which is amusing since the previous games were simple GBC titles.

And finally, I don't really recommend playing through Joker 1. Can't speak on the sequels, but Joker 1 was a pretty middling experience for me so I'm the wrong person to get a positive recommendation from.

And since the opportunity presents itself: If you like monster RPGs and haven't tried it- go emulate Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 for the GBC, it's really good and also if you emulate you can fast forward the GBC era grind if that's your taste- really a win all around.

On to my rambling:

I debated on writing, rewriting, rewriting, and better presenting my thoughts on this game and the series as a whole but nah, Joker ain't getting that, I'm ramblin'- lol

I will split it slightly between "The ending" and "The game as a whole" though.

Ending:

1:07 - This is slightly a 'game a a whole' thing but honestly it's funny to me that you unlock a permanent repel in this game by doing the main quest. I entered this dungeon feeling strong enough to beat the game, so I just avoided 90% of encounters entirely.

5:00 - I genuinely got a laugh out of Sparkpug's whole deal in this finale. Not story wise, that's fine, no complaints- I mean that Sparkpug is clearly built to be a monster that can carry an ineffective team. He's clearly meant to be bred a few times and a god tier member of a potentially inexperienced player's team- but I literally never used him after the intro.

So during this scene it's supposed to be like "I'm a demi-god monster, you can't possibly beat me" and I'm thinking "Dude, you're like level 10 and shit tier, you can't win, this is hilarious."

Obviously it's a real boss fight and not 'face the monster you once had' but I was having fun roasting him behind the scenes of this recording.

45:00 - What an entirely unexpected change of pace.

Like, I had it spoiled for me by a screenshot that Dr. Snap becomes a monster or something- but I thought maybe he was always a monster or something, and also I got a bad look at him.

HE TURNS INTO A BODY HORROR BEAST, THAT'S NUTS.

Genuinely a highlight of the game.

52:00 - I fucking laughed what a meaningless exchange where the payoff is saying "He was stupid!", it's honestly just silly and dumb but not necessarily bad just dumb lol

55:00 - Not a great 'you won' victory lap. Like at all. Kinda feels like they should have just made this all a cutscene where I appear back at town and see that Solitaire is the leader now etc etc.

I kinda don't understand why it's a victory lap at all? Because all anyone says is "They picked a weird successor to Snap >:(" or "Snap went to the island? I bet he was stopping the calamity :)"

If you have 2 lines of dialogue prepared, maybe don't make a victory lap???

1:00:00 - What a fucking stupid payoff lol

Like sincerely, Solitaire does NOTHING the entire game! She's meaningless from start to finish! And the 'surprise' is that she's the new commish??? And she got the position because she's a rich spoiled brat??? Like LITERALLY that's why????????

What a stupid fucking ending lol

Now her proposed evolution of the contest is fair enough, I mean it's childish as hell, but to be fair- more contests is a fine idea especially since prior games and this game demonstrated the public's interest in watching monster fights. And the goal being to fight her as the final fight is fucking egotistical and stupid- BUT- it does play into the fact that the player didn't get to fight her the whole game so it's whatever?

1:03:00 - This is both the best and worst lol.

This game has no story, like at all, it's fucking empty front to back, and only explodes with like- 1 event at the very end.

This moment is a montage of memorable moments with your 'best friend' Sparkpug. It's cinematically very nice to be honest! Even includes a moment I don't remember at the arena which probably didn't happen lol.

So visually it's cool- I dig seeing the camera zoom out as we run across the beach, and the flashback moments intersplice over us making our way to the scout memorial- that's very well done.

The content is empty lol

As I said there's no story, these moments are nothing lol

And that's that.

All said the ending was a very nice challenge to face with my team- I had to abuse items like mad but I MADE IT! It was a GOOD fight.

The rest I've already said.

On to the game as a whole:

I have issues with this game, but there's good too. It's really like 4 steps forward 6-7 steps back it's weird, it's really weird.

Positives are neat!

> First and foremost- TRAITS!

Monsters in Dragon Quest Monsters have always had a problem with keeping their identity for long. The way I'd explain it to an outsider to the series is that Monsters DO have special stat variance and intended movesets and all that jazz- but the breeding system completely and entirely destroys that relatively early into the game.

While a monster might normally have really high defense and low other stats while knowing buffing magic- breeding, EVEN UNINTENTIONALLY, will have that same monster come out with 9 billion attack and all ice magic.

Monsters in DQM have a habit of becoming canvases for the breeding effects rather than their own mons- and this is undeniably a downside. It makes the game feel unique, it doesn't 'hurt' it, but when by mid-game monsters are more easily identified as sprites rather than strengths and weaknesses or even types (family) it's a slight downer on the series.

Traits fix this a lot by making every specific monster have unchangeable traits which offer things like "immunity to x type of damage" or "higher crit chance"- it's small, but it gives each monster more identity.

> Second and secondmost- SKILLS!

The older games didn't use trees, it used each individual spell as a potential pass on during breeding.

Each monster could have 8 spells, and when you breed two monsters you pass on all 16 spells to the offspring (they don't learn them all at once, they learn them as they level up) as well as the natural spells the monster would learn by level up.

So in the older games it is really easy to end up with a refined and overpowered list of 8 spells on each of your monsters.

Now spells are tied to Skill trees and your monsters can have 3 skill trees total (which are passed on as OPTIONS when breeding).

All to say skills do a lot for removing the "Master of all, weakness of none" spell lists that the older games made trivial to make, now you have to limit your builds and be more specialized- also they added skills like "Attack up" to add more variance to a build- instead of having spells you might just have high stat buffs as skill trees.

Overall I think Skills are an improvement because coupled with Traits it makes each monster feel much more specialized and unique and less like a sprite with no identity.

> Breeding is improved.

This is very much because of skills and traits- again- but also the system is just improved in general. Instead of being told "That's a monster you haven't had before!" and judging your decisions based on the name of the offspring breed, now you get to see a small sprite of the resulting monster to help you decide- ALSO instead of getting 1 result for every combo (to the point where you have to back out and choose Monster A + Monster B and Monster B + Monster A as separate options), you now get up to 3 results to pick between for every breeding opportunity.

It's just better.

> The engine is impressive.

At least to me. This is a DS title using (from what I read) a rework of the DQ8 PS2 game's engine- it certainly looks like it.

Combat models are nice, using moves looks nice, overworld exploration looks nice- it looks nice.

Now for some negative and general nonsense- all of which is more often than not 'weird'.

> I gotta be unfair and say "The Story" first and foremost.

DQM 1 and 2 are not intense story games. They aren't.

But they both knew how to handle their story well for what they wanted to tell, I can and will praise both for their narratives because they know what they are and do it well.

DQM:J does not. It's fucking bad.

Basically: The overall story doesn't exist- you're told to be a spy, but that comes up 1 time towards the end of the game and LITERALLY doesn't matter at any other moment INCLUDING the one time it comes up.

You have NO meaningful objective from the start up until near the end of the game. You show up and have no goal- so you get told to get some crystals with no meaning behind it (not even a lie because they are clearly evil- not even a lie to motivate you! NO MEANING IS PRESENTED! JUST DO IT! TO DO THE CONTEST I GUESS! WHY? SHUT UP!)

So 90% of the game time you're not doing anything meaningful. So what about the islands? Any small narratives to keep things moving?

NO!

NOT AT ALL!

So you go 90% of the game having no real objective, just kinda wandering forward mindlessly- and then the game suddenly goes "Oh! Guy who seemed sus! He's evil! He's gonna unleash the calamity that you were 'kinda but not directly' working towards with your dog! You know, that plot point that's kept vague and paid 0% attention to the entire game? Yeah it's happening! Aaaaand you're done! GG!"

Basically there's just nothing going on in this game, it's all background noise until the last 10% of the game. And that's lame.

DQM1 had a light story- but from the very intro cutscene you have a clear objective which makes every action you do seem relevant as you are working towards that goal.

From the start of the game you know "My sister is gone! The king says a magic wish can get her back! I'll go do that!" and then you do!

DQM2 has a much better story!

You have a goal from the start (The kingdom is physically dying and you have to save it by getting a new plug!) AND it has stories for each world you visit!

THAT'S MILES BETTER! THIS GAME COULD HAVE DONE THAT FOR THE ISLANDS!

Anywho. Story is lacking and empty and lame especially when DQM2 has a similar format but does every part better- you have a clear objective you're working towards AND side stories to keep the light narrative moving!

WTH!

The spy plotline doesn't matter! It could have been used to build suspicion on who's the good guy!

The islands are so empty of story!

DQM2 has a fun mix on how a rival character works which makes every world interesting to see how they get involved!

This game has a rival that does NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

It's just such a step back from the previous games, it's weird to see DQM 1 land a solid simple story and DQM 2 build a great format to expand the story going forward- and then DQM:J just slams its head into the dirt and wipes out.

> Game's slow.

The engine switch is a good thing overall, but it makes combat slower (a lot), adds loading screens to combat (primarily), and they didn't bother speeding up the grind from previous games.

Because of the grind still existing which isn't a problem in and of itself- the game becomes SLOW AS HELL because the engine makes that grind take longer.

Also world exploration is slow which is to be expected when moving from 2d to 3d, but this is countered by adding things to the world to find or do- and Joker tries but it's still noticeable. The world exploration isn't a problem, it just stands out alongside the combat being slow as hell.

The engine change was a great thing- but it feels like they should have put more work into speeding up combat to counter the slowdown of load times and flashy animations.

A GOOD WAY TO FIX THAT MIGHT BE XP!

> Music ain't great in my opinion.

DQ has amazing music. This game has some weak renditions in my opinion. The CELL HQ theme song is a pretty good poster child for the worst there is, but just in general even the better music is lacking compared to the chiptunes of the GBC or the better mixes of the main series.

Maybe it's unfair, it's a DS game, I don't know, I just know I ended up just muting most of the game because it didn't sound great. I played the GBC games OSTs instead for a large portion of my playthrough. I listened to videos instead for the bulk of the game.

It's just not pleasant to me, sorry to say.

> XP!!!!!!!

I'm being a spoiled ass on this but yeah!

XP SUCKS IN THIS!

There aren't good placed to grind until you beat the game! (apparently)

The first level blatantly has too low xp which makes you grind before you can tackle the boss of the island- and the late game has you mindlessly grinding low xp rewards in order to be ready to face the final boss.

It's WEIRD!

Why is it so low!

> Tech is weird!

I could ramble on this alone but here's the short version:

DQ has a unique fantasy world aesthetic that each game has explored in its own way. It's basically "swords, magic, monsters, and charm- things feel light but aren't afraid to get scary sometimes :)"

This game... doesn't.

This game has fuckin' tech watches, jet skis, TOWER PCS????

This ISN'T dragon quest on a world building level.

It's like, contemporary modern world but with slimes.

And that could be good I guess, but it feels so fucking weird to see PCs right alongside swords and axes and a dracky.

Like... why?

It's a poor aesthetic according to my tastes. Maybe I'm an ass for that. The tech is weird.

All to say, in a poor rambling "I gotta get this out of me" kinda way, is Joker was fine.

I enjoyed breeding. I enjoyed seeing the engine. I enjoyed the unique additions like a 'hero monster'.

But I also had to grind mindlessly on a slower game.

I had to endure a story that forgot to show up until the very end.

I sat there thinking about replaying the older ones the whole time.

It was fine.

It's mediocre.

I'm glad I played it.

I'm done now :)

[rnegitsune]

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 1 of 26

Title: Annihilation (The Southern Reach #1) (2014) - REREAD

Author: Jeff VanderMeer

Genre/Tags: Horror, Science Fiction, Ecological Horror, Cosmic Horror, Weird, First-Person, Unreliable Narrator, Female Protagonist

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 1/01/2021

Date Finished: 1/05/2021

Along an isolated stretch of coast lies Area X, a pristine wilderness which appeared decades ago and decimated all human civilization within its borders. The only people to enter since have been official expeditions overseen by the mysterious Southern Reach. Annihilation follows the twelfth expedition, an all-female party of four including a psychologist, an anthropologist, a surveyor, and a biologist.

The biologist has a secret; her husband was a member of the doomed eleventh expedition. He returned a shell of his former self before being quarantined and suddenly dying of systemic cancer. She seeks answers for what happened to him. But after the party discovers a strange underground staircase with a manic sermon written along the wall, she soon finds herself infected by Area X itself.

I am walking forever on the path from the border to base camp. It is taking a long time, and I know it will take even longer to get back. There is no one with me. I am all by myself. The trees are not trees the birds are not birds and I am not me but just something that has been walking for a very long time... 

Full review, some spoilers, and content warning(s) under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: graphic violence and gore. Lots (LOTS) of body horror. Some non graphic sexual content. Mind control/hypnotic suggestion is a plot point, but there's an implication it goes beyond that. There's a pervasive sense of unreality. 

Part of me wishes I could read this book, and series, for the first time again. Annihilation is a short read with a weird, disturbing horror story at its core. Area X feels vibrant and alive in creepy ways, and the mental effect it has on the few human characters is profound. It's basically a peaceful nature preserve, but there's something deeply unsettling about the state of decay, oddly aware creatures, pervasive sense of being watched, and how it twists the minds of the characters. The biologist's asocial view of the world colors how she interacts with the setting and the conclusions she draws about Area X, The Southern Reach, the Tower, the lighthouse, and everything in between. The result is an eerie story with a scientific, almost clinical narrator experiencing something beyond human understanding.

But only parts of the overall mystery surrounding Area X are solved in Annihilation; there is an explanation, there are enough hints to figure it out, but good fucking luck. You learn there's some kind of conspiracy and shady shit going on, and the biologist gets some things right... but also some things wrong. This is either infuriating or enough of a tease to encourage one to read the rest of the series (back in 2015, I was the latter). While Annihilation is self-contained, it leaves more questions than answers.

On a reread, everything is different. One thing I admire about VanderMeer is how he integrates hints and foreshadowing without making them too obvious; something I noticed with his Ambergris series as well. In Annihilation, some of this is thematic stuff that doesn't pay off until later books ("desolation tries to colonize you"). Sometimes the biologist draws the right conclusion for the wrong reasons (everything about the psychologist and how she seems burdened). Or some things are way more horrifying with later information (why the moaning creature is Like That even though the dolphins and other animals are almost normal).

Probably my favorite example, though, is eight pages in, the biologist mentions a weird vision she had. It's a throwaway line; just one of a dozen examples on how Area X affects the mind. With later knowledge, though, it's literally foreshadowing the biologist's fate in the final book, Acceptance. You can piece together later bits within Annihilation to see how significant this moment is, but I don't think most will. And there's just tons of stuff like that that doesn't come off as important, but is a little treat for anyone rereading the story.

I guess what I'm saying here is that as much as I like the base story of Annihilation, it's better in many ways on a reread. I wish I could remember my original impressions, because now they're inextricably affected by my knowledge of what happens later in the series. I know that the mystery of it all enthralled me, but I also know lots of people drop the first book due to a lack of concrete answers. If I were to read it again for the first time, who would I be?

Besides that, something I like about this book is the gradual dissemination of information. We start in the thick of Area X and the doomed twelfth expedition, but there are several sequences where the biologist will reflect on her past and her relationship to her husband, which add context to everything else. It's just a structural choice, but one I personally like; it makes her backstory relevant without detracting from the horror or killing the pacing. I like the glimpses of her “ordinary” life and how it juxtaposes/complements the bizarre nature of Area X. 

And the horror factor is just on point. VanderMeer really shines when writing horror because everything just feels... off. Something terrible is happening, but a lot of it is psychological or just out of reach. And when the creepiness is more overt (i.e meeting The Crawler), it's great, jarring cosmic horror.  Lighthouses are a special interest of mine, so I love seeing a horror story with one as a focal point (so to speak). I dig how Area X feels like a character in the story; the mark of a good setting, especially in horror.   

To me Annihilation is a comfort read despite being a disturbing horror story. I like seeing all the moving parts and knowing how it works, and it's a very short novel compared to Authority and Acceptance. I highly recommend this series if you're looking for a creepy, cerebral story which uses nature as the backbone for cosmic horror. For those who have seen the movie, it's a much different story with a similar tone, so if you wanted more... good news! Read the books! But they're also pretty weird and sometimes dense reads, so not for everyone.

I'll be rereading Authority next, which I remember is longer with slower pacing. Let's see how it goes!